Blackwood Farm by Anne Rice

He's Tarquin, a yard dog who needs to be run off with a broom and a hose. He's Lestat, who is remarkably patient about all of this because he's shopping for a new Louis, one assumes? He's also Goblin, Tarquin's, uh, twincest ghost invisible friend? Spoilers. I really don't know what to tell you. Strap in, Jake, it's Blackwood Farm.
Yes, it's our Anne Rice-O-Ween episode!

This book has. God. I don't know how to tell you. We didn't even talk about the cockfighting in the podcast. There's... well there's all the vampire stuff but honestly this book is so boring there's barely vampire stuff in it. There's really poorly thought out racial politics (although it turns out by the way that the plantation house was in reality built by a formerly enslaved person, but not in ANY way you might expect.) There's ghost sex. There's ghost twincest. There's really gross underage sex. There's everybody walking in on you with your dick out glazed like a Krispy Kreme. There's torture murder. There's some feet business with ya grandma. There's an intersex character handled surprisingly fine? There's ghastly interior design choices. There are crimes against punctuation. There is an EIGHT HUNDRED PAGE BOOK where VERY LITTLE HAPPENS. There are lies about Lestat being in this.

This one was a struggle. Anne almost did us in this time. I do apologize if this book is your jam but we found it... difficult. Let's say we found it difficult. Like, I was longing for the halcyon days of The Tale of the Body Thief.

Anyway for a palate cleanser instead of the Kenneth Branaugh Hamlet these people cannot shut up about how about this amazing Soviet version? If you just want a taste skip to around the 22 minute mark to see the g-g-g-ghost!

youtube.com/watch?v=OzN1isLYc_A
We do apologize that this episode is this long but to be fair, so was this goddamned book.