How to understand everyone - Business English communication lesson

0:02 Let's talk about how to make sure you understand everything that everyone says all the time, always. Okay, maybe that's a strong claim to make, but today I'm going to give you two of the most powerful tools that you can use in your professional communication to improve your understanding of your colleagues, clients, and customers.

0:34 My name is Chris. I am a business English and communication coach, and I've personally worked with over 1,000 international professionals just like you to improve the way they communicate in English. This is the Breakout Business English Podcast, and I believe this is actually episode 100, which is a wonderful milestone, an exciting achievement.

1:02 So if you've been listening since the terrible days of episode one, then well done for making it this far. Okay, so first, I want to start by establishing what I think is the most useless question that anyone can ever ask. This is a question that almost never has any value. A question that never moves a conversation forward and rarely improves your understanding of the situation.

1:39 And yet, it's also one of the most common questions for international English speakers, second and third language English speakers to ask and to use when they don't understand something. So, can you guess what it is? Can you guess what I think the most useless question in international communication is?

2:05 The question I'm thinking of is Can you say that again, please? Can you say that again, please? Or maybe can you repeat that for me? I hate this question. Partly because if you didn't understand someone the first time they said something, well, why do you think you would understand them the second time they say it?

2:32 Most of the time, this question just leaves you back in the same situation, but you feel more awkward because you've tried to solve the problem and failed. So you just end up nodding your head and agreeing and moving on without ever actually understanding the information that was being given. So, how do we solve this?

3:02 The question that we need is really simple. We need to ask people to say more about the thing that they are explaining. We want the speaker to elaborate and to go deeper. By adding more information, they're giving you a better chance of understanding them and taking on board the knowledge that they are trying to transfer.

3:33 The additional benefit here is that this is the same question that a native speaker might ask, or the same question that you might ask if you did understand someone. We're using the same technique, the same tool to solve a different problem. Therefore, you don't need to worry about appearing like you didn't understand.

4:01 Let's listen now to some really natural and native sounding ways to ask this question. That sounds really important. Could you elaborate on it a little, please? That sounds really important. Could you elaborate on it a little, please? Would you mind going into a little more detail on that point, please?

4:36 Would you mind going into a little more detail on that point, please? It would be great if you could explore that idea a little more. I'd really like to understand it slightly better. It would be great if you could explore that idea a little more. I'd really like to understand it slightly better. Okay, let's take a look at that word elaborate.

5:06 Elaborate. In the first example, we heard that sounds really important. Could you elaborate on it a little, please? Could you elaborate on it a little, please? Elaborate as a verb means to add more information and give more detail about something. For instance, I might mention in a job interview that I've worked with companies from various industries.

5:39 You might ask me to elaborate. Then I would tell you exactly which industries they were and maybe what I did with those companies. Maybe you know the adjective form of this word, which is elaborate, elaborate, which has a slightly different pronunciation. If you know linguistic jargon, then that is a schwa vowel in the middle of elaborate.

6:11 And it has a similar meaning to complex or complicated. For instance, I might tell you that I have an elaborate plan to earn a promotion, to which you might reply, can you elaborate on that? And I might go on to give you all the details of how I plan to achieve this promotion. And if you want to improve the way that you communicate in English at work, maybe as part of a plan to get a promotion, then maybe we can work together.

6:51 My full-time job is helping international professionals who use English at work to improve their communication skills. So if you need English to do your job, but you don't speak it natively, then I would love to meet you. If you'd like to book some time to meet with me through one-to-one video calls, just you and me, then you can go to www.breakoutbusinglish.com.

7:24 That's the title of the podcast, breakoutbusinglish.com and find out more. Starting on our very first call, we can focus on the specific opportunities that you personally have to improve your English and communication skills and the mistakes that you make most often or cause the biggest problems with your communication.

7:50 And right now you can use the code podcast30 at checkout to get a 30% discount off your first booking. I've worked with well over 1,000 non-native English speaking professionals from new graduates up to CEOs and government leaders to help them achieve their goals. And I look forward to meeting you. Okay, so you've asked the other person to elaborate.

8:21 They've gone deeper and explored the idea in more depth. What do we do next? What is our second tool? The second tool I want to talk about is generally known as looping for understanding. Looping for understanding. And this follows three stages. The first stage is to ask a question and get some information.

8:52 Well, we've covered that. That was the first part. We've asked someone to elaborate. Brilliant. We are one-third of the way there. Let's move on. The second step is the most important part of looping for understanding. We need to repeat that information back to the person who said it in our own words.

9:19 That's the loop, the circle there. This information is coming back. You need to paraphrase what they said and say it back to them. Paraphrasing is a fancy word. Americans might say a $10 word. I quite like that phrase. It's a $10 word. So paraphrasing is a word that means to say something in a different way.

9:47 I mentioned there that you should use your own words, not the exact words that the other person used. And this is really important. If you truly do understand something, then you should be able to use different words to communicate it. Let's listen now to a couple of natural and native sounding ways that we can introduce some looping for understanding.

10:24 Let me go back through that to make sure I've understood what you're explaining. Let me go back through that to make sure I've understood what you're explaining. Okay. I want to make sure that I understand you here. So let me try and explain this back to you. Okay, I want to make sure that I understand you here.

10:54 So let me try and explain this back to you. I just want to recap what you've said to make sure that I've got my head around it properly. I just want to recap what you've said to make sure that I've got my head around it properly. Now, you might have noticed that this third step is also a big reason that you need to paraphrase and use your own words when repeating information back.

11:34 If you use the exact same words and ask if you've understood something correctly, then of course they're going to say yes because you're using their exact words. However, that doesn't mean that you've actually understood. Now, let's talk about vocabulary. We took a closer look at the word recap in last week's podcast, recap.

12:01 Let's focus on that phrasal verb today to go through. In the first example, we heard, let me go back through that to make sure I've understood what you're explaining. Let me go back through that. So the phrasal verb here is to go through something. And when I added back, this gives it the meaning of repeating, going through something again.

12:33 So to go through something is a phrasal verb that means to review and analyze something in detail, often to ensure that everything is correct or that you understand everything. I often use this in coaching sessions that I do. For instance, my clients leave our coaching sessions with several pages of notes.

13:04 I hope that people go through these notes in their own time to check that they understand everything that we discussed. Often my clients bring documents like presentations or maybe their CV, their resume to our sessions. And we can go through those to make sure that everything is correct or that they can communicate about everything in those documents really well.

13:37 To go through has several different meanings in English, but in this context, it has a meaning similar to analyze, review, or examine. And if you have understood my explanation of go through, then you will also realize that I am going through the phrasal verb go through, which is wildly confusing and not something we should think about for too long at all.

14:11 Okay, the final stage of looping for understanding is to add a question, to finish with an opportunity for the other person to confirm that you have in fact understood correctly what was being communicated, and if not, to start the process again. Please let me know if I've missed anything there. Please let me know if I've missed anything there.

14:53 Or maybe did I get that right? Did I get that right? So that's your three-stage process. Ask a question to get information, paraphrase that information back in your own words, and then ask a question to confirm your understanding. Now, as much as I might want to, I cannot take credit for this concept.

15:25 As with most problems in life, some very smart people have already thought very carefully about a solution and codified it, written it down. The technique of looping for understanding was developed by Gary Friedman and Jim Himmelstein. Sorry, Jack Himmelstein, let me get that name right. Gary Friedman and Jack Himmelstein, co-founders of the Center for Understanding in Conflict.

15:55 However, it was popularized by Charles Doohig, and I'm trying to get the light to catch the front of this book properly. There we go. So it was popularized by Charles Doohig in his book Super Communicators, which I absolutely recommend. If you're looking to improve your professional communication skills, then this should definitely be on your reading list.

17:04 Charles Doohig is just generally a fantastic author. If you know Atomic Habits by James Clear, which is a very popular book in the professional development space, then a lot of the ideas that James Clear developed came from a different Charles Doohig book called The Power of Habit. So definitely an author to get into if you're interested in generally improving your professional life.

17:37 Now, I want to talk for a moment about mindset because there's a mindset shift here that I think is really important. I think that some people feel that using phrases like, I want to make sure I understand, or do I have that right, makes you sound like a less confident English speaker. I would argue, however, that it doesn't.

18:09 In fact, I would argue that it makes you someone who cares about clarity and someone who prioritizes communication. I'm guessing a lot of you have seen the movie Margin Call. I often bring this up in coaching sessions, partly because it's just a great movie that a lot of people have seen and it's fun to talk about.

18:36 However, mostly because there are some great examples of professional communication in there. I often find myself discussing one scene in particular. This is a scene set in the office of a big investment bank at 4 a.m., 4 in the morning, when a lot of senior staff have been called into the office to discuss something that seems to be going very badly wrong.

19:12 There are many things that are very interesting and memorable from this scene. But one in particular is the way that the most senior member of the team, the person running the meeting, constantly and repeatedly loops for understanding. Several times he repeats back the information that was just given to him and then asks if he understood that correctly, if he missed anything or if he got that right.

19:47 My point here is that if you repeat things back to people and ask them to confirm this information, but you sound unsure of yourself and worried about your English skills, then that's likely how it will be interpreted, and that's what people will think. However, if you approach it confidently, from the point of view that you want to ensure that you exactly understand very accurately the information that is being communicated, then that's the impression that you will give and the feeling that people will get.

20:29 Mindset is everything here. Okay, let's move on to our grammar quiz. Now, last week I gave you this sentence. If we encounter a problem, we should notice the client. One more time. If we encounter a problem, we should notice the client. This is a really common mistake, and I wonder if you were able to determine what the problem was here.

21:06 The issue here is the word notice. I hear a lot of people using this word in this way. However, the verb notice means you see or become aware of something. It's something that you do, not something you do to someone else. It's nothing related to giving information. It's not used to give information to other people.

21:39 So it does not work when the client is the person receiving the information. Now there is a verb that you can use here, and that is to notify. To notify someone. To notify means to tell someone that something has happened or maybe will happen. Notice is something you do when you become aware of something.

22:11 For instance, oh wow, I just noticed that thing over there. How strange. I wonder how long that thing has been there. That's me noticing something. If I notice a client, it feels like I just found the client. Oh wow, how long have you been standing there, my client? Which would probably be a strange thing to do.

22:34 So we can notify the client, maybe let the client know or point something. Out to the client, but to say that you notice a client is a strange way to explain this idea. Okay, here is your quiz question for this week. To begin, I want you to listen to this short sentence. Here it is. Emma hired Dave. One more time, really simple sentence this week.

23:08 Emma hired Dave. Now, this sentence means that one person got a job. So there's my first question. Just a quick one. Who got a new job in this sentence? Well, if Emma hired Dave, then congratulations, Dave, on your new job. You start on Monday. Now, my question is, how can we change this sentence to mean that Emma got a new job?

23:42 So how can we change this sentence, Emma hired Dave, to show that Emma got a new job? Now, if you said that we can just swap the names around and build a sentence like Dave hired Emma, then you are right. But I'm not going to let you get away that easily. My question is, how can I keep the names in the same order, starting with Emma and finishing with Dave, but still have a sentence that tells us that Emma got a new job.

24:22 So, one more time, here's your sentence. Emma hired Dave. And my question is, without changing the order of the names, how can I make it so that Emma got a new job? The answer, as always, will be in next week's podcast. So don't forget that if you would like to discuss any of the ideas, vocabulary or grammar, etc., in today's episode, or work on your communication skills for work more generally, then you can book a session with me to work on your English and your communication by going to www.breakoutbusinesenglish.com or clicking the link in the show notes and use the code podcast30 at checkout to get a 30% discount off your first booking.

25:21 I've worked with over 1,000 non-native English speaking professionals from new graduates up to CEOs and CFOs and COOs and C TOs and CMOs. And I wonder how many letters you can put in that middle position. But I've worked with a lot of senior uh staff at different companies and indeed high-level government leaders, some of which you may have heard of, definitely from some governments that you've heard of, to help them achieve their goals.

25:55 I've been doing this now since wow, part-time since 2019 and full-time since 2021. So yeah, I've been doing this a while. I've helped them to achieve their goals, and I look forward to meeting you and helping you to achieve yours. Between episodes of the podcast, you can get videos every couple of days on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube.

26:22 Just search for Breakout Business English. Also, if there's a topic that you'd like to hear me talk about on the podcast, then I'd be excited to hear your ideas. Leave me a message or a comment on one of my YouTube videos, and I look forward to hearing from you. If you're on Apple Podcasts, then I invite you to leave a review.

26:45 Every review really helps me out and helps to push the podcast to new listeners and to grow the show. So if you found this podcast useful and you think that there are some valuable things in here, then feel free to write a couple of kind words and I thank you for that in advance. And that is another great place to request a topic for a future podcast.

27:11 That is it for today. If I sound a little bit different, that's because I have a cold. I've got my tea here, and uh I'm still getting over this cold. So hopefully this was understandable. Hopefully, I'll be back to full health next week. Thank you so much for listening today and for your time. I really do know how valuable your time is, and I appreciate and respect your choice to spend some of it with this podcast.

27:41 I hope you're having a great week, and I'll talk to you again next time on the Breakout Business English podcast. Thanks a lot, everyone. Talk to you soon.