Broadway Is My Beat: The Case of the Thistle Killer

THE END Hyperlite A.

Good evening.

Oh, you gave me a proper.

Scare, you did.

Rather light for a young lady to be out by herself, isn't it?

Oh, you mean the thistle killer?

One killing a knight in the last five nights. He may be out again tonight.

Oh, makes you shiver. I wouldn't talk to any strange gentleman, I wouldn't.

And if one spoke to me, I'd run. Or scream.

You're a sensible girl.

Would you like a sweet?

Oh, thank you.

You know, caramels are very good.

He's done it again.

Pass the jam, would you, Watson? Thank you.

Any interesting news in the Times?

It says here that some American claims to have found a cure for the common cold.

That's nonsense. I don't believe it.

Thunderbolt won the Aspinall Stakes. Hmm, trickster won. Perhaps could have made a killing on them. Oh, was there another one last night? Eh?

The thistle killer. Oh, yes, yes.

Yes, he strangled a girl last night at Ingram Square. Left the usual sign, thistles.

Now, man's a maniac. Perhaps he is, Watson.

But there may be a definite pattern behind all these killings, you know.

Oh, do you think so? Look at that map, Wilkins. From one end of London to the other. He's got something on his mind, sir. Oh, you really think so, Wilkins? Of course he's got something on his mind, you idiot! He's got Kelly on his mind!

When's it gonna finish?

Where's it all gonna end? I've looked up the statistics, sir.

There are approximately 459,000 young women in London between the ages of 16.

And 25, sir.

That's a comforting thought, Wilkins.

I thought so.

From the superintendent. Perhaps he'll be interested in your optimistic statistics, Wilkins.

Come in. You sent for me, sir? Ah, Inspector Lestrade. Yes, I sent for you. Sit down, Inspector.

Thank you, sir.

Not working too hard these days, I hope? Well, sir, I'm used to hard work. Then give me a sample of it. Stop these wholesale murders. Six women, Lestrade, in six successive nights. A man's making a charnel house out of London. What's the yard doing about it? Well, sir, we have men in duty all over London, you know. Well, how does he slip by them? How does he get away?

Sir, it's almost impossible to cover a city the size of London.

He'll strike again tonight.

Sir, there are 459,000 young women in London between the ages of 16 and 25. I don't care if they're 459 million.

Stop him. Portland Lane. Harris Street. Ovington Court. Napier Street. Evans Lane. And Ingram Square last night. Where will it be tonight?

Sir, he's the whole of London to pick from. It's almost impossible to anticipate him. He doesn't choose his places.

They're haphazard. You know, there's nothing haphazard about this man, Watson. He's choosing each locality with a plan.

What plan?

Well, that's our problem. Tell me, Holmes, why does he drop thistles onto his victims? And why three? I think they're symbols, Watson. Just as his killings are symbolic.

Do you think he knew his victims?

I doubt it. No, there's another motive, a deeper plan behind it all. I think we know all the facts. We only have to read them properly.

Well said. He knew each of these girls. That's the link.

That's what I'm working on.

How do you know that, Lestrade?

We issued a warning to young girls not to speak to strangers, to scream or to run as soon as they were accosted. Yet not one of them has done either. In fact, in three of the killings, footsteps showed that they walked beside him, that they knew him, that they trusted him.

And the girl last night had accepted a caramel from him.

Yes, sir, and of course a young lady will never accept a sweet from a stranger.

Then find the man they all know in common.

Yes, sir.

Oh, by the way, Lestrade. Yes, sir? There's a chap named Sherlock Holmes. Ever run into him? Holmes, sir?

Sherlock Holmes? Yes, yes, the name is familiar, sir. Yes, I have run into him on occasion.

Deduces things, they tell me. Clever. You might call him in. Unofficially, of course. He's an amateur, sir. An amateur can't do worse than we're doing. Yes, sir.

I'm sorry.

I simply can't understand it, Holmes.

Hmm?

Understand what?

Why Inspector Lestrade hasn't called? I've been expecting him all morning.

Oh, well, he probably feels he can tackle it himself.

And perhaps he can. Come in. Good evening, Dr. Watson.

Holmes.

Good afternoon, Lestrade.

Dr.

Watson's been expecting you.

Oh, he has, has he?

Well, you're here, aren't you?

Well, as a matter of fact, someone at the yard did suggest that I might.

Well, as a matter of fact.

Who?

Who? The superintendent. Oh, this man's a ghost. I've men everywhere. I've warned everybody. Still, he kills and no one sees him.

A map of.

London was trained.

Yes, I've marked out all the places where he's killed.

Oh, yes.

That's interesting.

Most interesting.

Starting here with Portland Lane. Harris Street. Ovington Square. Evans Lane.

Napier Street. Ingram Square.

I take it this is the sequence of the killings, Lestrade.

Yes, I've tackled it from every angle. Concentric circles, triangles, squares, north, south, east and west. There's just no pattern to these killing zones.

Oh, but there is, Lestrade, there is. But he's challenging Scotland Yard to catch him.

Challenging us?

Yes, he's playing a game with you.

What do you mean, playing a game?

Acrostics.

Look. Now take the names in sequence. beginning with the first letter of each neighborhood. P for Portland Lane, H for Harris Street. P, H. And so on. O, E, N, I. And what's the last letter? Why, the only one that fits, of course, X. And so you have Phoenix.

Phoenix?

The legendary bird that rose from its own ashes, symbol of immortality.

No, I know he's a maniac.

Him and his thistles, all three of them.

Well, the thistle's the national flower of Scotland, Estrade. You should know that. And there are three feet in a yard.

Scotland Yard!

Well, it shouldn't be hard to deduce where he plans to strike tonight. The last letter is X. Exenia Lane leading into Xerxes Park, here.

Then we have him. It would appear so, wouldn't it?

Xerxes Park, Superintendent. It must be Xerxes Park.

But there are other places that begin with the letter X, Mr. Holmes.

Very few, and they're too frequented. Xerxes Park is small, quiet, and practically deserted at night. That's just what he wants.

All right. Xerxes Park, then. Lestrade?

Yes, sir?

Plant men all around the park. We'll cut off the entire area.

But keep the park entrances open, Superintendent.

Invite him in, you mean?

Well, if you keep him out, you won't catch him.

Good thought, Mr. Holmes.

There are only two entrances to Xerxes Park, a gate here and here.

We'll cover them both. Get him coming or.

Going, eh?

Either way.

No, coming, not going.

Oh, I see what you mean. But supposing there is no young woman in Xerxes Park?

Oh, there will be.

How do you know?

We'll put one there for him.

Decoy, huh? But who? It'll be risky. Ever done any amateur theatricals, Lestrade?

Hmm?

What?

Oh, I think we'll need Inspector Lestrade at one end of the.

Park, Superintendent.

Now, as for the woman....

No. One of our police matrons might volunteer. But explain the risk fully to her, Lestrade. We'll arm her too, sir, just in case.

I'm not sure a gun will be enough, Lestrade.

We could arrange a signal with her so she could let us know the moment she's accosted.

Excellent, Watson.

As soon as we get the signal, we can close in on him.

All right, Lestrade, pick the best men we have. Yes, sir. You want Lestrade at one end of Xerxes Park, but who'll be at the other end?

Why, Dr.

Watson and I, of course. That's a very good idea. Thank you very much. I wish there wasn't this fog.

I'll cover it with this, Miss Colley. But don't take any chances. I'll be at that end of the park, and Mr. Holmes and Dr. Watson will be at that end.

Ah, Holmes, Dr. Watson. This is our decoy, Miss Colley.

How do you do? Good evening, Miss Colley. Oh, well, what have we got here? A sending key, eh, Lestrade?

Yes, as the telegraph said, going to both entrances.

Quite ingenious, my dear fellow. Tell me, what are your signals?

One short click if a man approaches, Miss Colley. If he speaks to her, she keeps her finger pressed on the key. If he just passes on his way without speaking, then.

Two short clicks. Show Mr.

Holmes how it's done, Miss Colley.

Hmm.

I see, Lestrade, yes. Quite ingenious, really.

Now, if a young lady passes along and wishes to go through the park, then we'll have a policeman escort her.

Congratulations, Lestrade.

You've thought of everything.

Thank you, Dr.

Watson. Well, good luck, Miss Cully. And the same to you, Inspector.

Eerie places, Park.

Yes, Watson.

I must confess to a certain uneasiness myself.

Look!

What?

The fissile killer!

Oh, no, you don't.

Now, what's this?

Let go of me.

Leave poor Herbert alone. Poor Herbert, madam.

This man's about to strangle you. My own husband strangled me?

You're crazy.

Your.

Your husband?

Of course he's my husband. The fissile killer... That's what he probably is.

Oh, my apologies, madam.

Come on, Herbert.

Some people don't know what privacy is.

Blake's got a right to kiss a girl, hasn't he?

Even if it is his own wife. Now, what do you mean by that remark, Herbert Brown?

Well, you ain't exactly what you were five years ago, Maggie.

Well, I never.

I say, old man, that was a harder thing to say to the wife. Put me big foot in again, I did.

I'm Maggie.

I'm Maggie. Well, I mean, Holmes, the park. After all, haven't they got a home to go to?

Yes, I must say, I can't blame you in the least, Watson. Shall we get on to our entrance?

Chilly night, sir.

It'll warm up quite soon, Wilkins. May even get too warm for comfort.

Just taking the young lady through the park, sir.

Go ahead, Connors.

Come on.

This is nerve-racking, Holmes. Well, it may not be long now, Watson.

Good evening, sir.

Good evening, Hansel.

What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Miss Collie's a brave girl, sir.

She wouldn't like my sister taking on the risk that she is.

Couldn't use you, sister. This is a job for professionals like us, not amateurs.

Are you worried about Mr. Holmes and Dr. Watson, sir?

I'm worried about Mr.

Eleven o'clock, Watson.

No, with all these bobbies hanging about, he's probably got the wind up and gone home.

But if they're well hidden, as they should be.

Someone's approaching Miss Connie.

Shh! Wait for the next signal.

Evening, sir.

Oh, it's William Guntherall.

I'm glad you're taking me through the park, Constable.

I'm only a visitor here, you know.

It's so scary.

Very sensible, miss.

Especially these nights.

With that horrible thistle killer loose.

I don't like.

It, Watson.

Something's wrong. Miss Cotty gave the old care signal. Whoever it was must have gone past it. Yes, unless the. If any strange men talked to me, I'd run or scream, just like the papers tell you to.

That's a sensible girl.

It's very foggy tonight.

Would you like a sweet?

Oh, thank you, Constable.

Try one of the cannibals.

They're good.

He slipped through a cordon of police before, you know, Watson. And without anybody seeing him. No, but they did see him. Everyone saw him.

But surely....

Watson, who's the only stranger a woman would trust in London these nights?

Why, uh... Why, nobody. Wrong, Watson.

A policeman. A policeman.

Come on, Watson.

Where is he, Constable?

Which way is he.

Look out, Wilson!

Get down!

You all right, sir? I'm all right.

See to.

The girl.

She's all right, sir. Here, look after her, will you? He's dead.

I know him, sir.

He's John Phoenix.

He's a cabbie.

He drives a hansom. Oh, yes, I remember him now.

He tried out for the force.

We dropped him. Inefficiency.

Well, there's your motive, Lestrade. He simply wanted to prove that he could outwit Scotland Yard.

He must have carried his policeman's helmet and his coat around with him in his cab.

Yes, and when he spotted a girl, he put them on and became just another policeman.

How did you guess, Holmes?

Well, Lestrade, it was the only answer. The only answer. THE END

Oh, my God.

Broadway Is My Beat: The Case of the Thistle Killer

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