Awkward Tuesday: A Rabbi Walks Into A Bar

0:00 Hey, Tuesdays are really packed because on our YouTube, we got a new in-studio video up. That's where we actually take video of one of our calls.

0:08 And right now, we got a brand new episode. Yeah. People love them.

0:12 Yeah, welcome to your podcast. It's Brooke and Jeffrey on your Second Date Podcast. Thanks for finding us. What do we got in comments before we get to this awkward Tuesday?

0:19 Yeah, Jack14 said... I recently discovered your radio show, and I've been enjoying it.

0:23 I'm an international student here in the U.S., and honestly, I've been learning a lot about American dating culture just by listening to you guys.

0:31 I think you'll be fine. You've got an accent. Yeah.

0:34 That's what they're about, dating in the American college scene.

0:38 If you have an accent, you win.

0:39 Oh, yeah.

0:39 You're standing out everywhere you go.

0:41 That's right.

0:42 So you're going to be okay. You're going to be okay. Don't worry. Yep, there we go. This one's just for you, okay? Your Offer Tuesday phone call starts right now.

0:49 If you're in a newer relationship, one of the most stressful times can be meeting the family.

0:54 Oh, yeah.

0:55 That's why one of our listeners decided he was going to come prepared with a surefire way to impress his girlfriend's folks.

1:03 Okay.

1:04 And now, a full month later, he's on the phone with us asking himself, good God, why did I do that? Oh, no. And how did it go so wrong?

1:13 Uh-oh.

1:14 You're going to hear it in a brand new Awkward Tuesday phone call next.

1:18 It's awkward.

1:19 It's Tuesday.

1:21 It's awkward Tuesday phone call.

1:24 When you meet your significant other's parents for the very first time. you'll want to make a good first impression.

1:31 Oh, yeah. Of course.

1:32 For sure.

1:32 So maybe offer to help set the table.

1:35 Mm-hmm.

1:35 Laugh at the dad's jokes.

1:37 Yep, that's right.

1:38 All of them.

1:38 Yep. Bring the mom a gift.

1:40 Alcohol.

1:40 Alcohol. Always bring her alcohol. She'll like you more if she's had a couple glasses of wine. Yes.

1:44 Preferably not lingerie.

1:46 What?

1:47 Unless you for sure know her cup size.

1:50 Wow.

1:51 And if she's a lace girl.

1:52 No. Then go to the dad and.

1:54 Be like, you're welcome.

1:55 Yeah.

1:55 That was for.

1:56 You, brother.

1:57 Anyway, one of our listeners needs our help after he met his girlfriend's parents and says that he didn't make a bad first impression, just the wrong one.

2:07 What does that mean?

2:08 I'm curious to find out what that means, too, Brooke.

2:10 It feels like there's some lies involved here.

2:12 Let's find out. Simon, welcome to the show, man.

2:15 Thanks, guys.

2:16 Can I ask how long you've been dating your girlfriend?

2:19 I thought you were going to ask the mom's bra size.

2:21 No.

2:21 Good.

2:21 Let's go with the girlfriend stuff.

2:24 Brooke's like, we can exchange.

2:25 Yeah.

2:26 Okay.

2:26 That's good. Tell us about the situation. What's your girlfriend's name?

2:30 So my girlfriend's Ivana, and we've been dating for like about a year now. Okay.

2:36 Right at that point.

2:37 Yeah.

2:37 Do you keep going?

2:38 Is it.

2:38 Is this working? One year is like a big moment. One year is like you could be my family.

2:44 Yeah.

2:45 Are you saying Ivana Marrier?

2:48 Oh, nice.

2:49 That made him nervous. He didn't like that.

2:51 Don't bring that up, Jose. Don't bring that up. No, just, it says on your email that you met her parents. How did that go?

2:59 Yeah, so it was like, we went to the house for dinner. And you never know what it's like to meet someone's parents. It could be great. It could be awkward. Like, are they going to like me? Yeah, so I was definitely nervous.

3:09 What was she like going in? Your girlfriend. Like, was she like, oh, no big deal?

3:12 Or, ugh.

3:14 It's going to be rough.

3:14 Yeah.

3:15 Oh, I've turned into a man. You're going to need to change your hairstyle before you meet Mike. This is not going to work.

3:21 No, she actually gave me a few helpful hints. She was like, relax, be yourself, be funny.

3:28 Oh, that means they're like a humorous. I like how be yourself and be funny aren't together.

3:36 Everything change about yourself and then we'll be good.

3:41 Okay.

3:42 Yeah.

3:42 So I had a religious joke, like ready to go. Oh, I know a little risky. And I ran it by my girlfriend first, and she thought it was pretty funny.

3:52 Okay.

3:53 Oh, okay. Yeah.

3:55 All right.

3:55 So it was one of those, a rabbi walks into a bar jokes.

3:59 Ah, okay.

4:00 Yeah, yeah. And it kills.

4:03 Oh, good.

4:04 The parents liked it.

4:05 Yeah, the dad especially. He was giving me this look of approval. He was giving me this little nod. It was priceless. Use it.

4:12 You have to know it's a good one.

4:14 Did you drop it in the first five minutes of meeting him? Are you at dinner? What is happening? Where are you meeting them?

4:19 No, it was during dinner. It was a little low in the conversation. It was perfect. By the end of the dinner, it was like everything is going perfect.

4:27 All right.

4:27 Perfect.

4:28 Yeah, that seems like there's something wrong with that because you're telling us you didn't make the right impression in your email.

4:35 Exactly. But the next day, my girlfriend calls me at work and she's like dying laughing. And she's like, oh, my God, you're not going to believe this because of that joke you told. My parents think you're actually Jewish. Oh.

4:48 Well, actually, I would assume that if you're going to tell a rabbi joke, you would be Jewish, too.

4:53 I don't know.

4:53 Oh, really?

4:53 I don't tell jokes about anyone at any time. I don't know.

4:56 I always feel like it's safer if you're going to tell a religious joke that.

4:59 It's about me.

5:00 Okay, well, to be clear, I'm not Jewish. And then the thing that Ivana did that was even weirder is she didn't correct them. She said that, yes, I am Jewish.

5:09 What?

5:10 Wait, she's telling her parents that you are Jewish?

5:14 Yes.

5:14 Yes.

5:15 Why? That's exactly what I said. I was like, why would you do that? And she was like, because it's funny. They're clueless. Wait.

5:21 So as a joke, she didn't correct him like lightheartedly.

5:24 Correct.

5:25 Oh, I get it.

5:27 So since then, like a week ago, I saw the family. I met the parents again. And the dad comes up and he's like, oh, hey, there's my favorite Jew. And he hugs me. Oh, wow.

5:38 Must have.

5:39 Did that feel good or did it not feel good?

5:44 It didn't feel good to be pretending to be a religion I'm not.

5:46 But she's your favorite of that religion.

5:50 What is your girlfriend's reaction when your dad says that?

5:53 She just laughs with them. So then I told her, I was like, hey guys, by the way, I'm not really Jewish. And then they just burst out laughing and they're like, that's a good one. Like as if I'm joking with them more.

6:04 Oh, what? Wait, you told them the truth and they didn't believe you. Correct.

6:09 Because that's what a Jew would say.

6:11 Yeah.

6:12 I'm just a funny Jewish guy. I'm not Jewish.

6:17 Oh, no.

6:18 That's hilarious, actually.

6:19 I just think this joke shouldn't continue.

6:21 Why? Everybody loves it.

6:23 Because they're going to eventually maybe get married, and it's going to be a really confusing time.

6:27 Yeah. It just doesn't look good to be pretending to be a faith and a people that I'm not. That's not okay.

6:34 I know a woman named Rachel Dolezal who lied about her personality, and nothing bad happened to her.

6:40 It's like a soul and valor thing. It's everything about it's bad.

6:43 It's all bad.

6:45 What do you want our help with? Okay.

6:47 This is coming up on a month. I can't convince anyone. I'm not Jewish. So I need help getting my girlfriend to understand like now's the time to ditch the joke and tell our parents the truth. Cause I mean, this can't go on forever and it's, It's too much. Once it goes on for longer than this, then it becomes too long to correct people.

7:06 So wait, are you wanting us to call your girlfriend? Help you with that call? Or are we calling the parents?

7:12 I need help calling my girlfriend because it's time for her to drop the joke and tell the parents, like, hey, no, seriously.

7:18 Okay.

7:19 It's making you uncomfortable. Well, you're going to have to stop, number one.

7:21 You're going to have to stop wearing the yarmulke.

7:23 Yeah. No, no, no, no.

7:25 I was never doing that. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

7:28 Well, think of some advice to give you before we let you call your girlfriend and try to convince her to drop the joke that you're Jewish. Or you might actually need to convert if it doesn't go well. This is a very unique Awkward Tuesday. We'll see what we come up with right after this.

7:46 Hold on.

7:47 It's Awkward. It's Tuesday.

7:49 It's Awkward Tuesday phone call.

7:52 What we thought was going to be a little snafu at a meet the parents family dinner is has turned out to be much, much more than that. Oh, yeah. After our listener Simon told a religious joke at the dinner table that made his girlfriend's whole family believe he's actually Jewish. Now, that's a good joke. I've never had a joke that killed so hard my religion changed. The weird part is his girlfriend wouldn't correct them. In fact, she's doubling down because she finds it so hilarious that her parents are making this mistake. And it's gone on for an entire month.

8:28 The dad is greeting him as his favorite Jewish boy.

8:32 Yeah. Do we know anybody other than Brooke's husband who takes a joke way too far for way too long?

8:39 Nobody in this room.

8:41 So that's why Simon has reached out seeking advice on how to convince his girlfriend the joke is over. We have to end it and tell them the truth.

8:50 Yeah.

8:50 So, Brooke, what advice do you have for Simon here?

8:53 I think you've got to fight fire with fire on this one, Simon.

8:55 Okay? Accuses her of being Jewish?

8:58 No, no, no. No, you need to out-joke her.

9:00 And what you need to say is if you don't tell your parents the truth, I'm going to go over there by myself and tell them that you've asked me to be in a thruple with.

9:09 A Catholic guy.

9:10 Whoa.

9:11 Wow.

9:12 I was not expecting that.

9:13 Yeah.

9:14 That sounds like another bar joke.

9:15 Yeah, exactly. I mean, if we're going to do, like, if you're going to have a rabbi, you might as well have a priest.

9:20 Once again, Brooke tosses out being a thruple as her advice again. No surprise. But what do you think, Simon?

9:27 What if she, okay, but the track record here is that she might think this is a good idea and be like, that's hilarious. Let's make it a foursome.

9:33 That's a good point.

9:35 A priest, a rabbi, and who else?

9:37 It's too dangerous territory.

9:39 A monk?

9:40 Let's try something else. Jose, what's your advice?

9:42 I'm kind of similar.

9:44 Brooke, I think you need to lean into this.

9:45 Oh, God.

9:45 All right. You tell her.

9:47 That you are going to have a conversation with her parents on getting her to convert to Judaism.

9:54 Oh, right.

9:55 So you're like, yeah, it's getting pretty serious. If I'm going to be Jewish, you're going to be Jewish. Right?

10:01 We're all going to be Jewish in this together. Threaten her with real Judaism. But she's actually going to have to do the work. I don't know if I love any of this advice.

10:08 That's a good point.

10:09 Or she's going to be like, yeah, we should convert. Oh, see?

10:12 Well, that's actually not the worst idea. I actually kind of like that advice. Okay. Well.

10:18 You can use as much of that advice or as little as you want. It's up to you. It's your call, but I'm going to dial the number for you, allow you to call your girlfriend and see if we can convince her to drop the joke that you're Jewish.

10:31 Okay.

10:31 Not that being Jewish is a joke. It's just that... Of course not. I just want to make sure there's context.

10:37 Someone just tuning in right now is like, what kind of show is this? This is a really hateful station. Anyway, I'm Jewish, by the way. Everyone should know that. Yeah, we should all. This is a little security plan. It's Jew approved.

10:49 Here we go. Sounds like a joke.

10:51 I'm serious.

10:51 Hello?

10:51 Hey, honey.

10:52 Oh.

11:03 Oh, hey, babe.

11:04 I didn't recognize the number. Yeah, yeah. I just, I don't know why that happened. But how are you doing?

11:14 I'm good.

11:15 Oh, I wanted to ask, did you decide what you're going to get for Jim for his birthday yet? Oh, God. Can we just do a gift card? Is that too lame? Oh, come on. He's like one of your closest friends. I feel like we should be a little more creative than that. All right. Well, we'll figure it out. But OK, I wanted to call you about something because I tried talking to you about this like, you know, a week ago and you were kind of resistant. And so I but I do actually really want to talk to you about it.

11:45 Is this a Jewish thing again?

11:46 Yeah.

11:48 Yeah, it is the Jewish thing. I get that you thought it was a funny joke, but like I do think we need to set the record straight with your folks. No, that's the opposite of what we need to do. What do you mean? The more you protest about not being Jewish, the more that they think you are. I mean, it's hilarious.

12:12 They're so confused. It was a little funny at first, but I mean, this is not a funny joke after a month. OK, it's a big problem. I think we have a problem. Well, you made the joke first. I mean, the joke was about all religions. The joke wasn't, hey, I'm Jewish. They just assumed that, and you haven't corrected them.

12:34 Why would I correct them?

12:35 It's hilarious.

12:37 It's not going to be hilarious forever. I mean, it's like, I don't want it to be three months, six months.

12:44 No.

12:44 Absolutely not. The longer they believe, the funnier it gets. I mean, my mom made latkes.

12:50 Oh, my God.

12:53 Are you 12 years old? I'm not Jewish. You know this. Like, okay, what if I do this? What if I tell your parents that we're going to convert to Judaism, you and me both? Sorry, well, I already am. You. You're going to convert to match me. Oh, my God. You're killing me.

13:08 That is the best idea ever.

13:12 Oh, my God. You've got to drop this. You've got to stop it. It's run its course. Enough.

13:16 Oh, my God.

13:16 Not yet. You're going to ruin the best part. What are you talking about? I told them we're thinking about having a Jewish wedding, and they're so excited. Oh, God.

13:30 You're not even engaged.

13:35 What's happening?

13:36 Hi.

13:37 Hi.

13:37 We got a funny joke for you. What?

13:41 Or should we say L'chaim?

13:42 Yeah.

13:42 Hey, Ivana, you don't know this, but you're actually on the radio right now with a show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

13:47 Mm-hmm. What?

13:52 Yeah. Sorry to surprise you with this, but this is something we do called the Awkward Tuesday phone call. Your boyfriend, Simon, has reached out to us seeking a little bit of help talking to you about this whole Jewish hilarious joke that's been going on.

14:09 Yeah, I mean, clearly I needed help because that conversation was insane. And I'm glad that I had witnesses.

14:16 Dude, Ivana, what do you mean you're telling them that you're planning a Jewish wedding?

14:22 I couldn't help myself. My mom had a magazine called Jewish Brides, and I was like, oh my God, I have to go all the way. I have to go all the way. Ivana, what's your final plan?

14:32 Are you going to say, pranked you, got you, mom and dad, on.

14:35 The wedding day?

14:36 I can't say I really thought it through, but I figured it would just eventually peter out, and then we would be like, hey, that's so funny. You know, when we show up for Christmas with Christmas presents.

14:47 You can't celebrate Christmas if you're Jewish, girl.

14:50 Yeah.

14:50 No, but I think that would be the tell, right? They'd be like, hold on, you know about Christmas? And he'd be like, ha ha, funny thing. And then everyone would laugh.

14:57 Ha ha, funny thing.

14:59 Wait a minute, you've been lying for years.

15:01 As hilarious as that sounds, Ivana, listen, trust me, I am Jewish and I totally approve of this joke. But I think the reason Simon came to us with this situation is because he's trying to look out for both of your guys' future because he cares about you. And he wants this to work. He doesn't want to alienate your parents.

15:20 I hear it's starting to make him uncomfortable.

15:23 Okay, you sound really disappointed in that.

15:26 I am disappointed.

15:28 It sucks to let a good joke go.

15:30 I've never had a joke give this hard.

15:34 I mean, it's been so good.

15:37 It's the power of the Jews.

15:38 Is this like how your family interacts with each other?

15:41 Oh yeah, we've always kind of messed with each other, joked around, pranked a little bit. But you one that.

15:46 Knows the joke like you're the only one laughing like they're laughing for different reasons that's why it's so funny because she has the secret and it's only.

15:54 To her it honestly sounds like your parents are so sweet I know they.

16:00 Are they're so sweet make.

16:02 This happen maybe you should prank them again and say that he converted to Scientology Oh, no.

16:07 That's a good one.

16:08 That's humor.

16:10 Okay. She's laughing.

16:13 I didn't mean it. That was a joke.

16:14 So we just solved this problem with another joke.

16:19 Okay.

16:21 Pretty soon, Simon, you're going to be in a cult.

16:24 Yeah, sounds like it. Oh, my God.

16:28 Ivana loves it. Okay, Simon, I mean, I don't know if we've resolved it entirely, but at least do you feel like we're making progress towards ending it?

16:36 Look, we are making progress, but she needs to agree right now on the phone with you guys that we're going to end this joke. Okay. She needs to have a conversation with her parents today about it.

16:46 Okay. Do you hear that?

16:49 Yes, I hear that. Yeah, I guess I have to do the hard thing of destroying their hopes and dreams of having a Jewish son-in-law.

17:01 Oh, my God. Now I kind of want it to continue.

17:04 All right.

17:05 Well, at least you know what lesson learned. When your girlfriend tells you to be funny at the dinner party, don't use the religious humor. It hits too hard.

17:13 No rabbis. I didn't think it would backfire in this way. It's offensive.

17:19 Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

17:22 Is anybody else worried that the joke has gone too far and it can't be saved anymore?

17:28 You mean, what do you mean?

17:30 Where even if she does have the conversation with her parents, they're still not going to believe her.

17:34 Oh, not even her?

17:37 She's going to just have to become Jewish.

17:38 He is locked in forever as a Jewish boy in her parents' minds. And for, like, the next 30 years, they're going to be making him plates of gefilte fish every Christmas.

17:47 Oh, no.

17:47 And feeding him bagels and lox every breakfast.

17:50 I didn't think about the food. They're going to swallow some out of his hands.

17:52 Like, no, that's not kosher.

17:53 Yeah, exactly.

17:54 Like, no, it's fine.

17:55 Yeah, yeah.

17:56 I love it. I mean, it sounds like they're a really funny family.

17:59 Yeah. Too funny. That's it.

18:01 And even when the truth comes out, the joke will still continue. Exactly. Yeah, that's true. They're not going to stop.

18:06 Only they can joke about the joke.

18:08 Yes, exactly.

18:09 But I do hope they have a Jewish wedding one day because those are actually really, really fun.

18:12 Yeah.

18:13 Why is there no other Jewish people?

18:16 Just do it for that. But if you want to go check out all of our Awkward Tuesday calls, they're up online wherever you get your podcasts. Brooke and Jeffrey, make sure to hit that subscribe button for us.