FULL SHOW: Jeff’s Ode to Pasta, Overly Romantic Date + Dumbest Healthcare Questions (10/16/26)

0:00 Oh, man.

0:00 I feel like our full brand new show today is real romantic. You know, with Jeff singing some Frank Sinatra.

0:07 Oh, yeah, you're right.

0:08 Real love happening in a second date update, maybe. Maybe. God, you're just going to love this hour.

0:14 No?

0:14 No?

0:17 All right. Why is Ashton laughing so hard?

0:19 People can hate love, Brooke. If it's like, you know, you don't like all the good stuff.

0:22 Not the couple on the phone today, though. They're hard to dislike.

0:25 Yeah, they are.

0:26 They are.

0:26 I'm so excited for you guys to hear it. That's all coming up. But first, let's go comments.

0:30 Yeah.

0:31 Amateur listener said, I love how Brooke.

0:33 That's a great handle. I'm so sorry.

0:35 It's so good.

0:36 I love how Brooke is both a redneck hillbilly and also an elderly rich woman.

0:40 Yeah.

0:41 It's her character for awesome.

0:42 Yeah.

0:43 I'm both. I can be all things. That's impressive.

0:46 Yes, there it is.

0:47 All right, your brand new hour starts right now.

0:49 It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning, and you guys know that we do our due diligence on this show.

0:54 Yeah, we do.

0:54 We're very mature, too. It's due diligence. We're always looking out for funny news stories and good audio for Audio First.

1:05 Oh, dang.

1:07 Audio First!

1:14 Some high-budget imaging right there. Well, we ran across a headline yesterday, and I just want to let our audience know it was a little misleading.

1:24 Oh, okay.

1:25 A headline?

1:25 No.

1:25 Yeah, it definitely got me. It was total clickbait because the headline said, quote, Man destroys Taco Bell bathroom.

1:34 Oh.

1:34 Oh, wow.

1:35 Oh, yeah.

1:36 You clicked through to see about that?

1:38 You know I'm clicking that. I've got to find out what happened. I need the deets.

1:43 What do you do?

1:44 Take a sledgehammer to the sink?

1:45 Yeah.

1:45 So I opened up the article, and turns out some dude drove his truck into the side of an Illinois Taco Bell, and the wall he broke through happened to be the restaurant's bathroom.

1:59 Oh.

1:59 Oh, my gosh.

2:00 So that was disappointing for you, right?

2:02 Extremely disappointing.

2:03 Yeah, that's not what you wanted.

2:04 Afterwards, apparently one of the Taco Bell employees was quoted as saying, he completely destroyed our restroom. Yeah.

2:13 And everyone's like, yeah, that's common at Taco Bell.

2:16 That is not the story that I wanted to read.

2:19 I'm really sorry, Jeff.

2:21 I'm glad it wasn't.

2:22 You could just go stand outside the bathroom and witness things firsthand.

2:25 If you'd rather.

2:26 I like reading about it in the news better, though. This was very misleading, so I just wanted this to be a PSA to our audience. If you guys come across this headline in the news, Don't click on it.

2:38 Wait, so the whole intro is about audio. We don't have audio.

2:41 There's no audio. We didn't have any good audio.

2:43 You got the car crash?

2:44 But yeah, if you do, you're only going to be disappointed. But you won't be disappointed by the shock collar question of the day. Well, that's a promise. Because it's exactly what the title says it is. Nothing more and nothing less. Jake, show them why.

2:58 Okay.

2:59 Well, yesterday we celebrated October 15th by looking back at some of the most incredible things that happened on that day in history.

3:06 It was a big day.

3:07 For example, the show I Love Lucy premiered on CBS. the world switched over to Greg's calendar, and the Department of Transportation was created, which officially solved bad traffic forever.

3:17 Yay!

3:19 And no potholes. That's right. Amazing.

3:22 But can you believe that even more memorable stuff continued to happen the following day, too, on October 16th?

3:29 Shut your mouth, Jake.

3:31 Were they not there on October 15th?

3:33 It's so exhausting.

3:35 That's today.

3:36 No.

3:36 So let's quiz you on those two during another This Day in History edition of... Plenty of 20. Let's start with the woman who, on this day, back in 2021, successfully parallel parked after only 17 failed attempts and one crying phone call to her dad.

3:57 That's right.

3:58 Alexis.

3:59 And I only tapped the car behind me.

4:02 That's fine.

4:02 Two.

4:03 Number two. Alexis' former queen of France, Marie Antoinette, went from living in a palace with hundreds of servants to becoming one of the most hated people in France. The French Revolution had turned her world. Don't laugh at him for saying it right.

4:17 Thank you, José.

4:18 Respect this. The French Revolution had turned her world upside down and her reputation for extravagant spending wasn't helping. On this day in 1793, her story came to a pretty brutal end. What was she executed by?

4:32 Hey, what a happy question to start with.

4:34 What killed her, you're asking?

4:35 Yes, Alexis, how was she executed?

4:37 There were a lot of options back then.

4:38 I don't really want to go through them all. That's kind of sad.

4:41 You can.

4:41 Let's start with the nicest one, firing squad.

4:44 I will say dead Marie Antoinette is a Halloween costume.

4:47 I've thought of before.

4:49 Yeah, that's cool.

4:51 Is being hung so dark as a Halloween costume?

4:54 Execution is pretty dark.

4:55 I mean, it's all dark.

4:57 Let's speak from experience. Being hung is not so bad.

5:00 Oh, no.

5:01 Attaboy, Jake. Okay.

5:02 That took me a second.

5:04 Now I don't even want to answer that.

5:06 You have to because we have to keep moving on.

5:08 She was hung.

5:09 She was hung.

5:09 That's incorrect.

5:12 She was killed by the guillotine. 10 months after her husband was beheaded, King Louis XVI, so that's kind of cute. Brooke, it's your turn, two is off the board. On this day in 1992, the original pilot of Gilligan's Island aired on TBS for the first time.

5:32 Wow, that was 1992?

5:34 It was filmed in 1963, but never aired because they replaced several cast members. So the show debuted with episode two instead with everyone already on the island.

5:45 I see.

5:46 I swear that was an old, old show for my parents.

5:49 But as for the cast, everybody knows Gilligan and the Skipper. But can you name the other five people stranded on the island?

5:57 This is a good question. All five?

5:59 You just got to sing the song.

6:01 Uh we'll take skip to the people there's gilligan.

6:08 The skipper okay marianne and ginger and the professor yeah and who else who's the dopey rich guy what's his name uh Is.

6:22 His name Kent?

6:25 The wife.

6:25 And it's another woman, I think.

6:28 Three, two.

6:29 Oh, yeah, what's her name?

6:30 Georgia.

6:30 So close.

6:33 I'm sorry, Brooke.

6:34 I got you for Marianne.

6:35 Ginger.

6:36 Ginger, the professor. His wife, not the professor's wife, but the millionaire was his name.

6:43 Thurston Howell III.

6:44 Don't be a guy named Kent.

6:46 The movie star.

6:47 What was actually his name?

6:49 Thurston Howell III was the millionaire. Ginger's the movie star. The professor was Roy Hinkley. And Lovey Howell was the wife.

6:56 Of the millionaire.

6:56 Should have listened to Jose. He got me off that rich guy.

6:59 Jose, it's your turn. We're 0 for 2 so far. You might be the first person to get one right today.

7:03 Let's go three.

7:04 On this day in 1992, a New Hampshire mom named Eileen Godfrey discovered an inappropriate image hidden in the beach scene of a Where's Waldo puzzle book she had bought for her daughter.

7:16 Girl, find something else to do.

7:18 I know, right?

7:19 Eileen complained to the store, and the manager pulled the book from shelves. What did she see? Was it A, a man wearing nothing but a fanny pack, B, a woman breastfeeding, or C, a man using a sandcastle as a toilet, or D, a topless woman?

7:36 Hey.

7:36 Whoa.

7:39 That's a beach. What if Waldo was on a European beach? Yeah.

7:43 If she is a woman herself, she probably wouldn't be offended by that.

7:46 Oh, yeah.

7:47 But I can see why the world or America would be offended.

7:50 Unless the woman in the picture is a little bit more endowed and she got jealous.

7:56 Oh.

7:57 Or she was mad that they didn't make them big enough.

8:00 She's like, if you're going to do it, fully commit to it.

8:04 Or maybe they're pointing different directions.

8:05 Or the sand castle as a toilet I think is silly enough that an uptight mom.

8:10 Would be like, that's a bad example. Kids are not going to poop on the sand. So I'm going to say C, a man using a sand castle as a toilet.

8:17 He said letter C.

8:19 That's incorrect.

8:21 It was a topless woman.

8:24 In the first world.

8:26 The book publisher said it was an innocent mistake, and in a later edition, the woman was given a bikini top.

8:32 I'm offended. So I want that original. That's probably worth money.

8:35 Jeffrey, it's your turn.

8:36 I'll take seven.

8:37 On this day, singer and notorious ladies man John Mayer was born. Today, he turns 49, so he was birthed in what decade? You have three seconds to do the math and answer correctly. I'm going to say it's the 70s.

8:51 Come on.

8:52 You got that right, Jeffrey.

8:53 He's older than I thought.

8:54 John Mayer was born in the 70s, and Jeffrey was born a winner for today.

8:59 Oh.

9:01 All right, so I get to choose who gets shocked. They're going to be singing Angel by Shaggy. I mean, Shaggy is right up Jose's alley, so I want to hear him do it.

9:11 Girl, you're my angel.

9:13 You're my darling angel.

9:17 Oh!

9:18 That was your shock collar question of the day. Quick programming note. Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning is going live on YouTube today at noon Pacific, 3 p.m. Eastern.

9:34 Noon Pacific.

9:35 8 p.m. London time. 4 a.m. tomorrow, Tokyo time.

9:40 We don't need to give all the times.

9:42 I kind of like it.

9:43 You can figure it out.

9:45 Wherever you listen from. But if you want to come say hi or ask us a question, make fun of my haircut, whatever it is, make sure.

9:52 Wait, it's a cut?

9:55 Non-haircut.

9:55 There you go. Make sure to hop on the YouTube live stream at Broken J. and why wouldn't you want to talk with us? What other show has given you food mashup news stories like this bizarre one?

10:07 There we go.

10:08 Wingstop just partnered with a popular candy brand to launch a new limited time flavor for its wings.

10:14 What?

10:14 It's called Sour Patch Kids Wicked Punch.

10:18 Yes.

10:20 Hold on. Look at the picture of it. I'm showing the photo to my co-host. It gets worse.

10:24 Don't look at the picture.

10:25 How could you resist that? Brooke, aren't you getting hungry?

10:28 It looks like tiny pieces.

10:31 Of melted Sour Patch Kids on the top.

10:35 Of the wings.

10:35 I'm making my mouth water. Wingstop says they're doing it for Halloween, and the new flavor features sour, then sweet, red berry glaze sprinkled with Sour Patch Kids Bits candies. It's bits.

10:49 You can't sprinkle those.

10:53 It's disturbing.

10:54 You sure can.

10:54 Yeah, I would work on that description.

10:56 The chain is calling the mashup, quote, equal parts trick, treat, and dare.

11:01 There's no treat.

11:03 This is literally a dare.

11:04 There is only grabbing for headlines.

11:07 Is what it is. If you want it, it's going to be available October 27th. But you can get it early on October 23rd if you're a club Wingstop member.

11:16 Oh, hold on.

11:17 I got to sign up.

11:18 Make sure you get it.

11:19 I'm going to cancel my membership.

11:20 So the question, how does it taste? Well, one food influencer got paid by Wingstop to taste it early. And in his video, he says he probably would not eat it again.

11:31 Wow, is that so?

11:32 That's after he got paid.

11:35 Even worse.

11:36 So there you go. That's your food mashup news. Remember, noon today, YouTube Live.

11:42 Be there.

11:43 But we got laser stories next. It's the radio segment that wants to help men plan ahead for decades of rocky relationships. Introducing Costco engagement ring 12-packs.

12:00 Oh, that's a good idea.

12:01 Because statistically speaking, one probably won't be enough. So buy them in bulk, one knee, 12 chances.

12:09 That's so nice.

12:10 With laser stories, the segment where we read weird news stories around the globe just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.

12:16 Yes.

12:17 As other matrimony jabronis just don't, this first laser story is out of Arizona. Earlier this month, a burglar was caught on camera smashing through the window of a tech company and carrying out armfuls of Mac mini computers. Ain't nobody got time for that!

12:34 I mean, I would imagine that that's what all thieves.

12:37 Want, right? Yeah.

12:38 Well, at least that's what he probably thought he was doing. In reality, the computers were all on the desks around him, and the 30 boxes he took were completely empty.

12:51 Macs are light.

12:53 Mac has really gotten down in the weight of the laptops.

12:56 They've got to be Mac Airs. Yeah.

12:58 I mean, yes, these are small computers, but even if you're rushing, you'd think you would notice they were extremely light.

13:05 Yeah, and not to mention, didn't make any noise.

13:07 Like, inside.

13:08 You know, like, you can feel a box.

13:11 Mac does do a good job of packing their stuff really tight, though.

13:14 That is true.

13:15 They have a protector phone.

13:16 And their boxes are pretty heavy.

13:18 That's the thing.

13:19 Every time you get an iPhone.

13:20 You're like, I feel like I need to keep this box because it's so nice.

13:23 That's a good point. I do have all my iPhone boxes.

13:26 There's also a chip in the box.

13:27 But why?

13:29 He did not notice the difference. One employee mocked him on the news saying, just empty boxes. Our computers were right there sitting in front of him. Really low IQ. Everybody was laughing about it.

13:42 Ah!

13:43 I kind of feel like the tech company needs to clean up their office.

13:45 For the record, 30 Mac minis can be worth up to $ 24, 000. But the boxes alone are worth closer to zero.

13:54 Dude, that's like robbing a bank and being like, quick, grab all the suckers!

13:57 Yeah.

13:58 Which those are actually worth more.

13:59 Brooke is like, you're going to bank robbery.

14:02 The police are still looking for the guy, and the company is offering a $ 1, 500 reward for helping to track him down.

14:08 Dude, he needs to turn himself in. That's the only way he's going to make some money.

14:12 Or did anyone think maybe this thief just really loves containers?

14:16 Oh.

14:17 Yeah, so check out the container store next.

14:19 Oh, yeah.

14:19 He literally went there for the boxes.

14:21 He'd have a heyday. Let's go to your next laser story out of Los Angeles. Forget dinner and a movie. A growing number of couples are staying active and spending quality time together by embracing pole dancing.

14:35 Oh, my God.

14:36 The thought of my husband pole dancing is so funny. He's so not flexible.

14:42 All the more reason to try it, Brooke. Because the new trend.

14:45 I would love it.

14:46 It has couples learning spins, lifts, and routines side by side. One couple even performed a pole dancing routine at their wedding instead of a traditional first dance.

14:57 Impressive. I don't want to know how they cut the cake.

15:00 Did they do that with a mother-son dance as well?

15:03 They really should. The bride's parents must have been so proud. The couples that do it say the sport has brought them closer together and helped them build trust and communication.

15:14 Pole dancing is really fun.

15:15 And abs.

15:16 You're going to.

15:16 Get some big abs doing that.

15:17 One guy even called it a, quote, metaphor for marriage.

15:21 How? What's the metaphor?

15:23 You're going to have to take it to understand, Brooke.

15:26 There's times you're going to have to twerk together.

15:28 And times you get pole burns.

15:30 Well, what do experts think about couples pole dancing? One relationship therapist said that the physical activities requiring close connection can actually help partners develop a deeper sense of teamwork.

15:41 That's sweet.

15:42 Look at that.

15:42 And also give any teenage kids you have instant it.

15:46 I love that. So that just shows we're all looking forward to Brooke and her husband, Michael, performing together for our annual work Christmas party.

15:55 I would love it. I would love it.

15:57 Let's go to your next laser story out of fast food headquarters. If you didn't know, the burger chain In-N-Out is famous for not offering delivery.

16:06 Ooh, you suck.

16:08 That's why the line is so long all the time.

16:11 They won't even partner with apps like DoorDash, Grubhub, or Uber Eats. And they say they just want to be able to guarantee a good customer service experience as well as the food's freshness.

16:21 You know, it's really smart.

16:23 I mean, I know you would think more money, but they're really like, no, we want you to have a fresh burger every time.

16:28 The best chance of them to have a good review.

16:30 It'd be the only chain where they would deliver the fries and they'd be just as soggy as when.

16:34 You got it in the restaurant.

16:36 But in an interesting twist, their stance has created a black market on social media.

16:42 Oh, no.

16:42 For something called burger brokers.

16:49 I get it, because when we drive by one down the highway, it's like, the wait is so long.

16:54 Yeah, it's not worth it sometimes.

16:56 So in California, for example, people are hiring randoms off of Facebook Marketplace to go get them in and out and bring it to their home. And they're paying up front on Cash App. And the rates for this are really all over the place. Some people are paying up to 50 bucks just to have people deliver burgers for them.

17:17 It's not, I mean, it's good, but it's not that good.

17:19 Disagree with you on that, but it is also risky because you have to just take them at their word that they're actually going to get the burger and give it to you.

17:28 Or that you get the whole burger and not a couple bites taken out.

17:30 That too.

17:31 You know?

17:32 And some are just being scammed out of their money.

17:34 Oh, for sure.

17:35 Yeah.

17:35 Yeah. And I know what you're thinking. Is Ashton the next burger broker in our state? I say yes. Help Ashton leave his parents' home.

17:45 Please.

17:48 Let's go to your final laser story.

17:49 Out of spooky season.

17:52 This seems pretty obvious, but the TSA is reminding Halloween travelers... that they can't bring fake weapons and bombs through security, even if they need them to match their costume.

18:03 Like a plastic ninja star.

18:04 Yeah, we've had to talk about Nerf guns in our family. I'm like, you can't travel with that, my man. And one time my son tried to bring a little mini bat.

18:12 We had to check it. No, we sent it. It didn't go through, is the whole point.

18:17 I don't think a Nerf gun's okay.

18:18 I don't think so. Really?

18:20 I'm glad to know that you're at least shipping the weapons to where you want them.

18:22 Yeah.

18:23 But here are the specific TSA Halloween guidelines. The first one is you can wear a costume within reason.

18:31 Oh, okay.

18:32 Comfortable pajama-like outfits are okay, but keep the elaborate... Leather face with stitches and a chainsaw costume packed away because nobody wants to sit next to that guy.

18:44 I agree.

18:45 If you dress as something sexy, it'll be a real quick TSA search.

18:48 Yeah. That's a good point.

18:50 Most things are exposed already.

18:52 The next one, if you're Michael Myers and you absolutely need to fly with a large butcher's knife that's hopefully plastic. you won't be able to bring it through in your carry-on or inside of your checked luggage.

19:04 You gotta ship it.

19:06 You gotta ship it.

19:07 And finally, some good news. TSA says candy of all sizes is allowed.

19:16 Interesting, because they won't allow peanut butter, but they'll allow peanut butter cups.

19:19 Explain it to me, Jeff. Exactly.

19:23 I feel like the peanut butter inside a peanut butter cup is a little thicker.

19:26 And they can take some and eat some of it, Brooke. Confiscate the candy.

19:29 But it is a good practice to remove any large hauls of candy from a carry-on and place it in a bin separately.

19:36 With your laptop.

19:37 I get to see Brooke like someone puts a suitcase and Brooke has a giant Snickers bar the size of a suitcase.

19:42 I was told I can bring this.

19:44 That would be so rad.

19:45 I have brought pies through TSA before.

19:48 I'm not shocked.

19:49 Smuggled them or in a carry-on?

19:51 You'll have to find out later.

19:52 Brooke's like, please don't make me eat this.

19:55 Oh, no.

19:55 Because I will.

19:56 Plus, I do know one guy who fell in love going through TSA on Halloween. It's because someone placed their pumpkin-colored Crocs into the security bin, and he didn't know whether to mount them or ask them to prom. But that's how it means Laser Stories has come to an end for the day. We'll do it again same time on Monday. Do you ever go to the doctor and want to ask them something, but you're too embarrassed?

20:22 Oh.

20:23 Or I'm scared they're going to charge me $ 100 for a question.

20:25 Yeah.

20:26 Just for asking.

20:27 I mean, an email now costs a couple hundred dollars.

20:30 Well, today's list is going to prove that you're right. You shouldn't ask that. Don't ask that dumb question because you might be featured on the radio along with a bunch of other ones. And I say that because a list came out where doctors shared the funniest and strangest question they've ever been asked by one of their patients.

20:48 You will not believe what one dude asked right before his eye surgery, but you're going to hear it right after this. Isn't the future exciting? It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

21:00 You know what?

21:02 No, I mean, anxiety and excitement often feel the same.

21:05 You just got to remember that.

21:06 I know a friend of the show, Elon Musk, recently said that there's a good chance in 10 years we won't even need human doctors anymore because A.I. has got us.

21:16 That's good because it gave me wrong thoughts.

21:20 Sources the other day when I asked for a news article.

21:22 I don't believe that, but it does make me sad. Not just because I'm going to miss when they ask one finger or two.

21:29 What?

21:29 Why would they ask that?

21:31 Because he says he's a real doctor, Brooke. It's right there on his name tag. Barney, real doctor.

21:36 I see. You're getting a Musk recommendation for your doctor, huh?

21:39 Yeah, I trust him. But the other sad part is we won't get to hear hilarious stories like these anymore because a recent publication just put out a list of the most ridiculous stories and silly questions doctors and healthcare workers have ever been asked by their patients.

21:55 Yes.

21:55 They always say no question is too dumb, and they're lying when they say it.

22:00 They also say Hippocratic Oath.

22:02 Yeah.

22:03 But who cares about that? Let's go over the worst offenders. Number seven, a man removed a knife from his torso and called 911 about it.

22:11 Damn.

22:13 But their first piece of advice was to not pull the knife out.

22:16 Yeah, you can do more damage that way.

22:20 So before paramedics arrived, he put the knife back in. Oh, that is crazy. Trying to follow the doctor's advice. Oh, my gosh. Dude, that is awful.

22:30 He stabbed himself.

22:31 Oh, my gosh.

22:32 Because the doctor told him to. I see.

22:34 Dude, that's like something in a horror movie.

22:35 Yeah.

22:36 That's crazy.

22:36 And it's not a doctor. That was a 911 operator.

22:39 Ouch.

22:39 They are very different.

22:42 Burn a 911 operator. Number six is kind of a scary situation. One day, a mom brought her healthy three-month-old baby to the ER.

22:51 Oh, gosh.

22:52 And when nurses were asking... What's the issue? His vitals are totally fine. Nothing seems to be off. The mom told them the cold-hearted truth.

23:00 What was it?

23:01 Her baby was laughing inappropriately. Every time she got undressed to get in the shower, just maniacal laughter from that baby.

23:11 It's a rose.

23:12 Mom, it's okay.

23:14 All right?

23:15 Just heartless.

23:17 That's got to be the first baby. You bring your first child to the doctor all the time.

23:21 And then once you have two or three more, you're like, Is it bleeding? Are you decapitated? You're fine.

23:26 No, but there's this weird stuff that's growing on its head. That's called hair. It's totally normal. Number five, you know those MRI machines that you have to get into, and they're all cramped and claustrophobic and hard to cuddle in?

23:39 I've heard they're really loud, too.

23:40 They are very loud. So one patient was handed two orange earplugs for the exam, and what did he do? Popped them in his mouth and swallowed them.

23:50 What? Oh, he thought they were pills?

23:52 Thought they were MRI pills to show what's inside of it.

23:55 Well, they're going to show that those are inside of them.

23:58 I hope they explain before they handed him a second pair. That guy could have just kept eating.

24:03 All of them.

24:04 Snacking all day long. By the way, we're going over a list of the funniest reactions and questions that doctors and healthcare workers ever got from their patients. Number four. One guy called the doctor's office before his vasectomy.

24:16 Oh.

24:16 And he was adamant with the nurse. He'd speak with the doc directly over the phone.

24:21 Okay.

24:22 So when the doctor took his call, the man said in a low whisper, Do you think after the surgery's done, I can keep them?

24:30 What?

24:31 He thought they were going to get cut off?

24:34 Not sure he understood how vasectomies work.

24:37 No, bro, you're not getting neutered.

24:39 They just cut your vas, what is it, vas deferin? That's the vein? There's two of them, though. Did you know that? We got to do two slices in there.

24:47 Brooke does it as a hobby on the weekends.

24:48 Brooke's just cutting up Snickers.

24:51 You better know I was standing right there when my husband got hit.

24:55 Oh, laughing at him.

24:56 Well, it turns out that this particular guy had his dog castrated the year before and got a little bit confused.

25:03 Okay.

25:04 Not the same thing.

25:05 You're all going to spade me, right?

25:06 Yeah.

25:07 Number three, a woman was meeting with her general doctor and was asked if she's currently prescribed on any birth control. Yeah. And that's when she said, oh, yes, both me and my boyfriend are being extra safe.

25:19 Okay.

25:19 And we're both taking the pill.

25:22 She's joking, right?

25:24 No, she thought that in order for it to work, both the man and the woman need to be taking birth control pills.

25:30 What's upsetting is that the boyfriend went along with it. Yeah.

25:33 They definitely needed a brochure on how that one worked.

25:37 A brochure?

25:37 Yeah.

25:38 I get it.

25:39 Number two, a man complained to his doc that he coughed whenever he inhaled water in the shower. And the doctor said to him, drowning. That's called drowning.

25:47 Yeah.

25:50 Yeah, don't get water down the wrong pipe, man.

25:52 Why is he inhaling so much of it?

25:54 I guess you learn something new every day, but he was 43, so good to learn it at some point.

26:00 Oh, my gosh.

26:01 And finally, the number one most ridiculous thing a doctor has actually been asked by one of their patients... was a guy who was 24 hours away from his scheduled eye surgery. So he called up the office before and had to admit he was not able to take their pre-op medication. And when the doctor asked why, he said, I just don't know how to get the pills into my eyes.

26:26 Oh, my gosh. This has to be a joke.

26:29 These are real. I thought that the eyes.

26:32 You swallow it and it goes through your bloodstream.

26:35 But I'm not having mouth surgery. It's eye surgery.

26:39 It was so much easier when I went to the ear doctor.

26:43 Those are liquid. There you go. Are you surprised these all happened in the U.S. of A?

26:49 Of course they did.

26:51 I'm just glad that girl didn't get pregnant.

26:52 Yeah, that's nice. But there's your list, which just proves there's no bad questions when it comes to your health. Just hilarious ones. So ask away. Your phone tap's coming up next. It's time for your prank phone call. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning, and today we call a guy who's been doing several interviews trying to land a high-level job at a tech firm.

27:14 That is so stressful.

27:15 So we thought it might be a funny experiment to call, and instead of having HR or an executive make the final decision, what if we handed control over to the least experienced employee at the company?

27:29 Yeah.

27:30 And that, of course, is none other than Alexis Fuller.

27:33 Hey, it's an Alexis phone tap.

27:36 Because she's qualified to make big, important choices, right?

27:39 Yeah, for sure.

27:40 Just hear the confidence. It's your phone tap right now.

27:43 Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s. Hello?

27:49 Hi, Ronald.

27:52 Yeah, this is Ronald. Who's this?

27:54 This is Chloe. I'm calling from the Institute.

27:57 Oh, okay.

27:58 Hi, how are you?

28:00 Oh my God, you're so cute for even asking me that.

28:03 Okay, yeah. It's nice to hear from you. I don't think we've met before.

28:09 No, we haven't, but I think you met with my boss a few times for some type of job opening or something.

28:16 Yes, that's right. I've met with him twice for an engineering position at the firm.

28:20 Oh, engineering. Choo-choo.

28:23 Like a train?

28:25 Yeah, I mean, not that kind of engineering, but yes. I mean, yeah, that's funny.

28:29 Sorry, that's above my head what you just said.

28:31 It is?

28:31 But anyways, my boss actually has two assistants.

28:35 He took his other one to Cabo for the week, so he put me in charge of hiring.

28:39 What?

28:41 Yeah, and it's been narrowed down to just two people. So he just told me to pick.

28:46 So you have the final decision?

28:50 I can't believe it either.

28:51 Isn't that cool?

28:53 Yeah.

28:55 It is cool.

28:56 I know.

28:57 And so I have both your names down, and I'm pointing at them, and I'm just gonna close my eyes and.

29:02 Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a tiger. Just kidding!

29:06 I'm gonna interview you!

29:08 Oh, okay.

29:10 I thought you were just gonna make a random choice there for a minute.

29:13 No, got you!

29:14 So you really are gonna interview me right now, like, over the phone?

29:18 Yes, really!

29:19 Okay.

29:20 First question.

29:21 Let's say you're at the club and you hear, it's my birthday.

29:26 What are you buying me?

29:27 Okay, so the question was, what am I going to buy you.

29:32 At the club?

29:33 Well, I didn't even finish the whole thing. It's my birthday and it's also my friend's birthday too.

29:38 And.

29:40 she's a Virgo.

29:40 So what are.

29:42 You buying us?

29:43 I don't know.

29:44 Something at the bar. A shot?

29:47 That's a great answer.

29:49 It is?

29:50 Yes.

29:51 We also would have accepted espresso martinis, lemon drops, or pink panty droppers.

29:56 Oh.

29:58 You know, respectfully, I can't really believe that this is the final interview for this position.

30:04 Sorry, what? I wasn't listening.

30:05 My bangs are, like, crazy right now, so I was just trying to do some damage control.

30:11 Yeah.

30:12 Next question. And this one is multiple choice.

30:15 Oh, my God.

30:16 Okay, let's say, hyperthonically, you start working here.

30:21 Hyperthonically?

30:23 It means pretend.

30:24 Okay, I think you mean hypothetically. I think that's the word you're searching for.

30:29 Yeah, that's what I said.

30:30 So, hyperthonically, you're working here, and you overhear me by your desk saying, I'm so hungry.

30:38 I wish someone would buy me lunch. Are you ready for the multiple choice part?

30:43 Not really.

30:43 That's a good one.

30:44 Do you A, buy me lunch?

30:48 Uh-huh.

30:52 This is multiple choice. Are you going to keep going with other options?

30:56 Is there another option?

30:59 I guess the answer would be no, then.

31:01 You're right. It's A, buy me lunch.

31:06 I really need your boss to call me back.

31:08 Is that possible?

31:09 Okay, wait, wait.

31:09 Before that, do you want to exchange Instas right now?

31:11 Because mine has a link to my Amazon wish list.

31:15 No.

31:16 You realize that everything we've talked about involves me buying you something? That's been the entire interview?

31:21 Wait a second. Is this another hyperthonical question?

31:26 No.

31:26 The word is hypothetical, and you're saying it wrong, and I don't like this.

31:30 Like what?

31:31 What do you mean?

31:32 Where it sounds like I'm being blackmailed into doing things for you personally so that I can get this job.

31:37 Did you say blackmail?

31:39 I'm pretty sure that's racist, and I'm gonna have to put a minus.

31:43 Point by your name.

31:45 Blackmail is not a racist term in any way, shape, or form.

31:48 Well, you're gonna have to talk that over with nobody, because you didn't get the job.

31:52 This is so f * * * ing ridiculous. I need to talk to your boss when he gets back from Cabo, because this whole process.

31:58 Oh, wait, did I say Cabo? I meant he called the radio to do a prank phone call on you.

32:03 Excuse me, what are you talking about?

32:05 Yeah, it's a phone tap. And lucky for you, I only do these once or twice a year.

32:10 What?

32:11 Yay, it's done.

32:12 I am so f * * * ing confused.

32:14 My name is Alexis from the show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning, and we're doing a phone tap on you.

32:19 No.

32:20 Your buddy Caden set you up.

32:22 No way.

32:23 No.

32:24 He said you've been interviewing for this job you really want, and it's stressing you out.

32:28 Oh, my gosh. This is the part that's stressing me out, the final interview with you.

32:33 Me?

32:33 I'm easy.

32:34 All you have to do is just buy me things.

32:37 Pink fanny droppers. That's when I should have known.

32:40 I mean, seriously.

32:41 Or espresso martinis or lemon drops work, too.

32:44 Listen.

32:46 Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.

32:49 Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

32:53 What do you do if you've been on the dating apps for months and have had zero luck? Almost no matches. And you're fully out of ideas and clever pickup lines.

33:04 That's when you hang them up.

33:05 Time to catfish?

33:08 Before you get there, that's when you try what one of our listeners did and think outside the box. Because after making one slight adjustment, he ended up matching with an incredible woman that he thought could be the real deal. So the question is, why does he need our help with it? We're going to find out in a brand new Second Date Update next. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

33:32 Second Date Update.

33:35 What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you think romantic date?

33:40 Ooh, like candles or maybe flowers.

33:43 Fancy food for sure.

33:45 Jose meant some candlelight or maybe moonlight.

33:49 God, I look so good under any dark lighting. That's why I love those things.

33:53 Or police flashlight.

33:55 No, the red and blues aren't as sexy.

33:57 I mean, obviously, if there's a police flashlight, you shouldn't have been doing what you were doing where you were doing it.

34:02 Oh, one of those big flashlights.

34:04 Were you in high school in the back of a car again, Jeff?

34:06 Hey, it was probably worth the 48 hours of jail time. And I don't want to screw things up here and mislead anyone because our listener Kyle did not go to jail.

34:15 Oh, good.

34:15 But he did say he tried a unique romantic gesture. And I'm curious what it was. But first, let's welcome him to the show. Kyle, how you doing, man? I'm good, I'm good.

34:26 Thank y'all so much for having me.

34:28 It is incredible how many of these start with, he tried something romantic on a first date.

34:33 Well, you ladies want us to try, and then we do, and now look where we are.

34:39 Well, it feels like there's a miscommunication in this back and forth.

34:41 It's usually what they like.

34:43 Well, to be honest with you, I wish I could have gotten to a first date.

34:46 Wait, what?

34:46 You didn't even make it that far.

34:48 Hold up.

34:49 Why did you not make it? What happened?

34:51 Okay. So I met this girl, Sandra, met her online and I was on the apps and stuff for a long time in my own city. And I felt like I really wasn't having any connections. I wasn't meeting anybody. So I was like, let me just try another city. Let me just try, put my location somewhere else and just see if something happens, you know?

35:07 Okay, I have a question.

35:08 Is that like location catfishing? Like you think that you're meeting someone in your hometown and then you're not?

35:13 You can do it like that, but you can also put it in travel or passport mode or something.

35:18 Oh, so it's apparent that you don't live there.

35:20 But you can also be sneaky.

35:21 I was not being sneaky. I was very clear with where I lived and what I was doing.

35:25 Okay. So she knew that you were from a different area, but you still matched together?

35:32 Yes. So we start talking and it's great.

35:36 Okay.

35:37 So can I ask, like, how far of a distance can you guys drive over a weekend and meet up?

35:42 Or is this a flying?

35:43 It's a plane ride. It'd be quite a drive.

35:46 Okay. So I can maybe understand why you haven't had a first date. I mean, yeah.

35:49 Yeah.

35:50 Logistically, it's hard to coordinate when you have to get plane tickets in order to see each other.

35:55 Well, we had been talking for a while, probably like 10 days, I guess. And I don't know. I just had this feeling. I just really wanted to meet her. And I offered this idea. I floated it. I was that, hey, would you be interested in maybe flying out to see me? I'll pay for the ticket. And we meet up because we had been talking a lot.

36:13 OK, so can I ask, is this the romantic gesture offering to use your airline bonus miles in order to fly her out to meet you?

36:21 Oh, yeah, I sent her a picture of all my points. Oh, no. No? No, but it's part of the romantic gesture.

36:28 Okay.

36:29 Wait, she agreed?

36:30 She said she would with one caveat. She wanted her own hotel room. She didn't want to stay with me, which I totally understood.

36:36 Totally fine.

36:37 It's better for.

36:37 Both of you, honestly.

36:39 Yeah, Motel 6 has a great deal, by the way.

36:41 It's like an insurance, though.

36:43 Okay, so I'm just going to assume that you're on the phone with us right now because she never ended up flying out.

36:49 You would be wrong. She did fly out. And before she flew in, because I paid for the room, I went up to the room before she was there. And this is the romantic gesture, kind of the biggest part.

37:02 Please don't say flower petals or rose petals.

37:04 Please, please, please.

37:07 No, no. So we had been talking at that point for maybe, I know exactly, 34 days. So I wrote 34 little notes for her. Each one was something that I liked about her.

37:18 Oh, that's a lot.

37:20 I was hoping you just got her her favorite snacks.

37:22 Yeah.

37:24 That's all you really want when you land from the airport is someone with snacks.

37:27 I mean, I will say I love a good love note, but I love them from like, My husband.

37:31 It's someone I've met in person before.

37:33 What are 34 different things that you could write about someone that you've never met in person before?

37:38 I like that eyelash. I like that eyelash.

37:40 I like that eyelash.

37:41 It's a good point, Jeffrey.

37:42 It's little stuff. You know, you're just talking to somebody and then you find yourself thinking about the thing that they said. Like, you know, I liked how much he talked about her family, how much she, you know, how fondly she talked about her friends.

37:50 I like.

37:51 It's a sweet gesture.

37:53 I mean, if she's on the same page as you, right, then she's probably super excited about it.

37:59 Totally. But it is a big risk that you're taking on the very first meetup.

38:03 Yeah.

38:04 Did she see the 34 notes? She like it?

38:07 She did.

38:07 She called me afterwards and she told me it was so sweet.

38:12 Okay.

38:12 Did you pick her up at the airport or had you not seen her at this point?

38:16 I did not. I did not pick her up at the airport. Yeah. Yeah.

38:19 Guys always get the gesture wrong. The gesture is picking her up at the airport with snacks, not going into the hotel.

38:24 Yeah, it wasn't good enough that you paid for her flight and for her hotel stay.

38:27 Yeah, Alexis is like, uh-uh.

38:29 Where are you?

38:29 She does have a point, though. That's more personal, right? Yeah, it's than.

38:33 Just putting up notes and being like, Uber, see ya.

38:35 So she calls you or she just texted you once she got to the hotel room?

38:38 She called me and she tells me, thank you so much, but I'm really tired from my flight. Instead of going out tonight, do you think we could go out tomorrow morning? I kind of just want to turn in, you know?

38:47 Oh, okay.

38:49 That's, I mean, understandable. You know when you fly, you don't look good.

38:53 If you were flying across the country for a guy that you're so excited about.

38:57 You want to see him as soon as possible.

39:00 That's when you put on makeup at the airport.

39:01 You land, you're like putting it on before you come out.

39:03 You're like, yeah.

39:04 But what about time zone? Like, I don't know the difference.

39:06 Like, maybe she landed and now it's three hours later.

39:09 Three hours isn't enough to go to bed early.

39:11 Nap on the plane.

39:13 Geez.

39:13 But what time did she call off the meetup?

39:17 It was only like seven.

39:18 Ooh.

39:19 It was around 7, so I thought it was kind of early, but also I don't know what her flight was like. Like sometimes people are more drained than other times.

39:26 Yeah.

39:26 So you were supposed to meet up with her the next day and then what?

39:31 We had the plan to meet the next morning for breakfast at the hotel.

39:34 Okay.

39:35 And I'm there and I don't see her. And I'm sitting for a little while and she's not coming. And then I go to the front desk eventually and I ask and they tell me that she has checked out.

39:45 What?

39:46 Oh, no.

39:47 Without saying anything to you?

39:49 Yeah, she hasn't responded to my messages or picked up at all. And at this point, I'm like, I just would like to know kind of what happened.

39:55 Is she like just trying to take advantage of a free vacation?

39:58 Yeah, if you live in a fun city.

39:59 If you checked out of the hotel, you would keep the hotel for a couple days, right?

40:03 I'm hoping that you live in some terrible city.

40:05 That's not fun and people would want a vacation too.

40:08 Nothing to do there.

40:09 That would take her using you off the plane.

40:10 But we're going to find out exactly what's going on with Sandra when we come back. We'll call her and try to get you your second date update right after this. Hold on. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

40:20 Second date update.

40:23 Could you imagine meeting a guy online, bonding with him for 34 days, then he pays for your flight to go meet him, puts you up in your own hotel, and leaves notes of all the little things that he admires about you. But he doesn't even have the decency to pick you up from the airport himself.

40:45 Actually, that is such a misstep, Jeff.

40:47 I would have left, too, after I raided the minibar, of course. You just hope that more guys would be thoughtful in this world, but apparently they're not.

40:57 Dude, but can you imagine walking into a room with a guy that you've never met and everything you've ever said to him is written on sticky notes all around you?

41:05 I know.

41:06 A guy that listens to what you say and remembers them?

41:10 Disgusting.

41:11 It feels a little like the start of a horror film.

41:14 Yeah.

41:14 And you're a room he's been in now before you were there even.

41:17 And like put up. Like wearing the cameras.

41:19 Creepy.

41:20 A guy that makes sure that you're taken care of. I agree. Disgusting.

41:24 He's like, hi. He's like, I have a notepad. I knew you were going to say that.

41:28 I was there. And we're just describing Kyle's fly-in date after Sandra did fly in and stayed the night at the hotel he paid for. Hadn't even seen him yet. And then she didn't show up for breakfast the next morning and had already checked out and left.

41:42 She'd also canceled dinner the night before.

41:44 Yeah.

41:44 But that's because I still feel like she was jet lagged.

41:47 That's nice of you.

41:49 Whatever's really going on, we're not sure the actual reasons why. That's why Kyle has reached out to us to try to figure it out.

41:56 Yeah.

41:57 Kyle, did I miss anything there from the recap?

42:00 No, no. I take issue with some of the interpretations of how some of the things could have been perceived. But, you know, that's why I'm here to figure out the truth.

42:08 I don't think your intentions were maybe what the perception was.

42:12 Right.

42:13 Like there was definitely a miscommunication between you two.

42:16 I think, on that front.

42:17 Yeah, I guess so. I don't know. I was afraid that maybe she thought I was in the closet. Like, you know what I mean? Or something like that for a second.

42:23 I'm trying to read by what you meant. I'm in the closet. You know, I think I'm going to move on.

42:27 You know, everybody's minds go to what their mind is closest to.

42:31 Sure.

42:31 I don't know.

42:32 The non-physical closet is a lot less scary.

42:34 Yeah.

42:36 But either way, whatever the reason is, hopefully Sandra can give it to us if she answers the phone because I'm going to dial her number right now. Let's do it.

42:51 Hello.

42:52 Hey, is this Sandra?

42:55 This is she.

42:56 Hey, Sandra, this is a radio show that you're on right now. It's called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

43:00 Hey, Sandra.

43:01 Good morning.

43:03 Hello.

43:04 Hi.

43:07 I just got how this is going to be perceived, too.

43:09 Yeah, it's true.

43:11 What's up, guys?

43:12 I'm really glad that you answered because we're looking to get some. some clarity for one of our, thank you, Brooke, for one of our listeners that you went out on a date with. Um, well, he actually didn't go on a date with him. That's what makes this so unusual. Cause this is called a second date update. Ah, all right.

43:33 Sounds like you might be familiar with what that is. We're basically trying to help out our boy, Kyle, who told us that you two had planned a meetup and the meetup never really happened.

43:47 Yeah, not really ready to talk about this.

43:53 Okay.

43:54 Okay. Well, listen, we don't know what's going on in your life right now, but I do know that we have a guy who put a tremendous amount of energy into trying to set up a meeting with you. He sounded like he cares about you a lot. And after talking to you for a full month, he flew you out to have that face-to-face interaction with, But now he's left completely in the dark wondering, did I do something wrong? Like, did I scare her off? Like, he has no clue.

44:22 His intentions definitely weren't to freak you out.

44:26 Yeah. Yeah.

44:27 Is that what happened?

44:28 Did he creep you out?

44:29 You could just start with what it was like walking into the hotel room.

44:32 So, yeah, I don't know if he told you this, but he left me 34 notes that were so... Aw, cute.

44:44 She said thoughtful.

44:46 Yeah.

44:46 Okay.

44:47 Tell us more about how you felt about the notes.

44:50 Yeah.

44:51 So they were seriously the most thoughtful thing. Like it seriously touched my heart.

44:58 You love to hear that.

45:00 We were really worried that was the moment that like freaked you out, but you took it in the way he intended it.

45:05 To be, right? To be romantic.

45:07 And to be thoughtful.

45:09 Okay.

45:10 So then it's because he sent you an Uber to the airport instead of picking you up in person. It must be that thing.

45:17 No, it wasn't that either. I honestly, to be completely transparent, I haven't dated in a long time.

45:28 Okay.

45:29 All right.

45:30 Are you just out of a fresh relationship?

45:34 So actually, um, five years ago, my fiance passed.

45:43 Oh, I'm so sorry.

45:45 That's terrible.

45:45 Yeah.

45:47 So like it's, taken me a while to get through that time and I've gotten on dating apps and stuff obviously and like he's definitely the first guy that I've like maybe I actually saw the potential of from you know seeing how just how he treated me flew me out got me my own hotel room like then the notes and it's just like it's not too good to be true. It's just, it's so good. So I saw the reality of like really starting something new and I freaked out.

46:22 Right, right, right.

46:23 And, I feel very bad. I feel bad for the way I handled it.

46:28 Would you prefer if we find somebody like one of our listeners who doesn't treat women very well?

46:33 I don't think that's it.

46:35 Absolutely not.

46:36 I'm totally kidding.

46:40 All right. So it wasn't like he did anything wrong. It was just you had your own hesitations about restarting romantic life all over again with a new guy.

46:50 Entering a new city, not your house.

46:52 All of it.

46:53 I can understand why you would hesitate to start that way with Kyle or even tell him the situation, but you've already taken half of a step there because you don't know this, but Kyle is actually listening to this conversation on the other line right now waiting to talk to you.

47:07 In like a romantic, sweet way.

47:09 Feels like a lot for her. Are you okay?

47:13 Yes.

47:13 Kyle, are you okay?

47:15 I am. I just... Hi, Sandra.

47:20 Hi.

47:21 First, I want to say thank you for telling me.

47:24 She didn't tell you.

47:25 Yeah, she told us, but yeah.

47:27 Yeah.

47:27 But you heard it.

47:28 Well, no, but that's why I got to say thank you for not knowing that you were telling me something very personal. Sorry, I don't mean to joke, but I was just so nervous that I did something wrong. And to hear your perspective, I just want to say I didn't mean for my gesture to put any pressure on you.

47:42 I know it's a lot, but I don't want you to think that I expected to start anything that you weren't ready for, no matter what your situation was. Yeah. You're so sweet.

47:51 So thank you for one, acknowledging and then listening. And I don't know if you heard, but I mean, I guess you did, but you are one of.

48:02 The good guys.

48:02 Like I do genuinely see you as like a quality guy, like a man of character. value, and I just froze, and that's just the truth.

48:15 I thought for sure you were checking for cameras under the bed, but instead, yeah, it was this.

48:20 He probably checked for cameras for her, just to make sure she's okay.

48:23 I mean, what a beautiful connection you two have.

48:25 I mean, I'm open for it.

48:29 Open is good.

48:30 You're making progress, right? We would have to get you back in the same city again in order for that to work out.

48:38 I mean, I'd be open to flying myself out.

48:43 Ooh, now that's a commitment.

48:44 I mean, Kyle, you've heard that she's open to it. Where are you?

48:48 Oh, yeah, I'm open to everything she told me, like after the relief of just knowing that I wasn't humiliating myself, knowing this, like, yeah, she seems like the person I thought she was. And I'd be very open to seeing her again.

48:56 Oh, you mean seeing her the first time.

48:59 Well, thank you for being understanding.

49:03 Well, we'd like to help that first meetup happen just a little bit and offer to pay for your first date. wherever that may be.

49:11 They do a good breakfast.

49:15 Oh, the same hotel.

49:17 You stayed at the hotel and ate the breakfast after she knew that you got ditched?

49:22 Of course, yeah. There was an omelet bar.

49:26 Yeah.

49:27 He was in the adjoining room, by the way.

49:29 Can you imagine the sad guy crying next to the waffle station?

49:34 Yeah.

49:35 We're not going to let that happen, Kyle. I promise I'm going to be around.

49:39 All right. So it sounds like you're both in on this. We're going to pay for your next date, you two. Congratulations.

49:45 Thank you.

49:47 Please update us. I'm invested now.

49:49 Yes.

49:50 I will.

49:51 These usually go so terribly. I don't know how to end the good ones.

49:54 Yeah.

49:55 Talk to you later. Yeah. Enjoy your happy life together. So shockingly, maybe for the first time ever on this show, the romantic gesture actually worked and didn't completely repel the woman.

50:14 It worked too well. That was the problem. Exactly.

50:18 Jose is exactly right. This is so darling.

50:21 Yeah, it's really sweet.

50:22 It's like someone who's like great and wakes you up and it's like, oh my gosh, this is the real deal.

50:27 And then you're like, I mean, I'm scared.

50:29 Yeah, I'm scared.

50:30 Like, this is a real love.

50:31 On the same page, the cynic in me says, well, what was he supposed to say? He can't hear all that and been like, I don't want to go out with you now.

50:38 Give me a refund, loser.

50:42 In the end, it was a pretty sweet story. But just think.

50:46 We better get an update from them.

50:47 We'll definitely be reaching out. But think of how powerful that would be in a normal relationship. Like, Brooke, if you gave Michael a note for the 34 times you made him cry in the last week.

50:58 So funny, Jeff.

50:59 Have you been holding that joke for a long time?

51:02 Remember when you didn't load the dishwasher right, Michael? And he has that note on his nightstand? Powerful stuff.

51:10 Remember when you said I love you and I didn't like your tone?

51:12 So I think we can apply Kyle's strategy to all different areas of our lives. In fact, you could give us a note with 34 reasons why you want our help calling the person who isn't calling you back.

51:23 You do not want that email.

51:24 We're good for a couple reasons.

51:25 No.

51:26 34, no one's going to read that email.

51:28 Just send one succinct email.

51:30 Absolutely.

51:30 We are not immune to your flattery.

51:32 Our producer hates you right now.

51:33 Go comment 34 flattering things on our podcast right now. You can find it at Brooke and Jeffrey. I've heard there's a secret to looking productive without actually doing anything.

51:47 Oh, I want to know.

51:48 What's the secret? It's walk around really fast while holding a stack of papers and a cup of coffee. Yes.

51:55 No eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Too busy for that.

51:58 You're just walking?

51:59 Yeah, you look so busy. No one's going to stop you and question what specifically you're doing. They just assume you're in the middle of something important. They'll leave you alone.

52:07 I mean, if you take 20 laps around the office, though, it may start to raise some alarms.

52:11 I feel like who still uses paper?

52:14 If you ask people in our office, they think Jose is the most productive person on the show by far. Because he is darting around from bathroom to bathroom with a giant cup of coffee and a stack of his own headshots.

52:25 Absolutely.

52:27 I'll sign one of those for you guys.

52:28 That's why. I've got a bunch of paper with me right now.

52:32 Oh, you do?

52:33 I am ready. And I poured 14 five-hour energies into a cup, so hopefully nobody even asks about my brand new song of the week because I'm too busy. Oh, man.

52:44 You do sound pretty jacked up right now.

52:46 Don't ask me about it coming up. Right after this. It is time for my song of the week. It is Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. And here in the States, we have a proud tradition of taking... Beloved foods from other cultures in the world.

53:02 Yeah.

53:02 Bringing them here and saying it's ours now.

53:06 That's right.

53:07 But worse.

53:08 That's right.

53:09 True.

53:09 That's how mac and cheese was brought over here.

53:11 Yep.

53:11 That's one of them. Also French fries.

53:14 Yes.

53:14 We stole those from Belgium and named them after France.

53:17 Nice.

53:18 Suck it, Europe.

53:19 Ha ha.

53:20 They spoke French, I think, is the thing.

53:22 Oh, okay.

53:23 Idiots.

53:23 Idiots. Of course, you've got donuts, which we stole from the Dutch and started putting bacon and mayonnaise on top of them. Take that, Netherlands!

53:32 You get mayonnaise on your donut?

53:34 I thought that was cream in the bossy cream.

53:36 Whatever it is, I like it.

53:37 But is there a more famous food theft in culinary history than what we did to Italy? Just look at your neighborhood Sbarro. That's ours now. It's authentic Italian. Of course, I'm talking about pasta.

53:56 I thought you were talking about pizza.

53:58 No, pasta. Studies show American families eat it at least once or twice a week, even more than tacos.

54:06 Wow.

54:07 My mom does make me a mean scallop and prawn pasta with red sauce.

54:12 That sounds way too fancy.

54:13 I just do a jar of marinara and some noodles.

54:15 There you go, Brooke. That's the American way.

54:18 With that garlic bread that comes in the silver wrapper. Yes.

54:21 That's the thing. That is so good. Because here we don't do gourmet five-star dining with hand-rolled all-wheat fusillinis or whatever they're called. We want the cheap stuff you get at the grocery store.

54:34 Okay.

54:35 Enriched white people pasta with quote unquote red sauce.

54:42 It is red.

54:42 It doesn't have a flavor. It's just red. And we love it because it's American. And whether you're a kid or you're an adult, you probably remember sitting down with your family at the family dinner table and and eating literally thousands of bowls of it throughout the years.

54:58 That's right.

54:58 That's why today we are celebrating it on National Pasta Day.

55:03 Hand me that Kraft Parmesan that somehow can be in the cupboard for eight years.

55:08 And still be good to eat.

55:09 That's right. We're celebrating the time-honored tradition of American Pasta Night.

55:15 Yay!

55:16 That's why instead of singing the famous 1950s hit by Frank Sinatra, I did it my way. It's Young Jeffrey's Want It Al Dente. It's the only way to eat your pasta. Well, I'll point when I'm ready. Here we go. Point.

55:39 And now my family's here. So grab a plate for pasta dinner. My mom has made it clear.

55:57 Put down the phone. Don't hit your sister.

56:04 The same spaghetti meal. We've made on each and every Wednesday.

56:17 Kiss your clenched fingertips.

56:22 Cause it's al dente.

56:29 Our sauce. So old but new, been passed down through the generations.

56:42 It's mostly jarred ragu and some basil too for decoration. Gourmet noodles we sourced. Only the best boxed kinds from Safeway. Flash-boiled the fanciest Barilla Painting.

57:18 And if you want cheese, we'll spoil you. Craft parmesan Shook from a green tube Sometimes it clumps And clogs the spout Just slap its butt And force it out Stacks of meatballs high as the wall in left field at fan wave.

57:58 I've slurped a strand so wide but did not know who.

58:07 Else was chewing. I felt... Our lips collide.

58:16 My sister's face up close I'm viewing.

58:23 I thought I'd pull right back.

58:28 Why did I lean and tilt my head sideways?

58:35 No more.

58:38 Red wine for me. Need more carbohydrates.

58:47 Wood spoons in our hands.

58:51 We stir the pots. The heart's full of love. And garlic knots. Eat them as shells.

59:03 Bow ties or wheels in weird little tubes. Where meat juice congeals Stains on our clothes Dough in our throats Wanted, outdated Happy National Pasta Day, everybody!

59:36 Don't lady the tramp your sister.

59:38 That hasn't happened at your family pasta nights at least once. Come on now.

59:42 It hasn't.

59:43 It hasn't.

59:44 But we do do the tradition, I don't know if you guys do, where you take the spaghetti and you know it's done if you throw it at the wall and it sticks.

59:50 Oh, yeah.

59:51 You don't do that?

59:52 You can just feel it and taste it.

59:54 No, it's not as fun.

59:55 You've got to go full white trash with it. Yeah. Where's the pot? That was your song of the week. Great work, Jeff. For all the pasta lovers out there, you can text in 785. And sister lovers. Whatever you love. Text it in to 78592 and tell us what you thought. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

1:00:13 Win!

1:00:16 Brooke!

1:00:17 Box!

1:00:18 Woo! The legends say if you utter Brooke's name three times in a bathroom mirror, she'll randomly appear at your next family game night and steal all the orange 500s from your Monopoly set. And today's new player, Erica, must have said Brooke's name thrice because Erica, you've officially summoned the great trivia succubus. Welcome to the show.

1:00:47 Hello.

1:00:48 Are you scared, Erica?

1:00:50 More like scare-ica.

1:00:52 Oh, my goodness, yes.

1:00:54 That's terrifying.

1:00:56 My joke is terrifying.

1:00:58 I'm just saying you do need to check your Monopoly set when we're done here.

1:01:01 That would be a cool magic trick.

1:01:02 I do.

1:01:03 I will.

1:01:03 Items will be missing.

1:01:05 All the hotels are gone, too.

1:01:06 You did tell our producer you feel confident that you can beat Brooke because you're very knowledgeable.

1:01:12 Knowledge has no place here, Erica.

1:01:15 Puts you way ahead of everybody else in the room, though. Where'd you get all that knowledge from?

1:01:19 Life.

1:01:20 Life knowledge.

1:01:21 That may help.

1:01:22 The greatest teacher.

1:01:24 Well, let's just get right to it. Brooke is leaving the studio, and you've got 30 seconds to answer as many questions as possible. If you don't know one, you can say pass, but you have to beat her outright if you want to win. Are you ready?

1:01:34 Ready.

1:01:34 Good luck. Your time starts now. On this day in 1923, a man named Roy Disney co-founded an entertainment company with his brother named what?

1:01:45 Walt Disney?

1:01:46 What is the only U.S. state that borders both an ocean and a great lake?

1:01:54 Pass.

1:01:54 Who played the lead role in the franchise movie series Paul Blart Mall Cop?

1:02:00 Oh, gosh.

1:02:01 Paul something.

1:02:02 In 1964, this company started out as Blue Ribbon Sports. What's it called today?

1:02:07 Blue Ribbon Athletics.

1:02:10 Okay.

1:02:11 All right. Very sneaky.

1:02:14 Okay, Erica.

1:02:15 Good work. Brooke's coming back into the studio now. And it says here, Erica, that you're a big Halloween person and tis the season. So this year you're doing a combo birthday Halloween party?

1:02:28 Fun.

1:02:29 Yes.

1:02:30 Is it your birthday?

1:02:31 Whoa, cool.

1:02:32 No, sister-in-law's.

1:02:34 Sister-in-law's.

1:02:34 Sister-in-law's birthday.

1:02:36 Oh, so it is scary. Wow.

1:02:37 Hey, someone get along with her in-laws, okay, Jen?

1:02:40 Only two years in the family yet.

1:02:43 What's going to be the coolest part of the party or the spookiest part?

1:02:45 Ooh.

1:02:47 The spookiest part, probably the drinks.

1:02:49 See, the hangover the next day. Is that what you meant?

1:02:52 Yep.

1:02:53 Dude, this year, it being on Saturday.

1:02:56 Yeah, everyone's going to be wasted.

1:02:58 Yeah, here we go.

1:03:00 If you say Brooke's name three times in the mirror, she will show up and drink all the leftover wine in the red keg cups.

1:03:06 Oh, that's not bleak.

1:03:08 I only drink my wine out of keg cups.

1:03:10 That's correct. On Halloween night. Now it is Brooke's turn.

1:03:14 Brooke, are you ready?

1:03:15 Yeah.

1:03:15 Your time starts now. On this day in 1923, a man named Roy Disney co-founded an entertainment company with his brother named what?

1:03:24 Walt Disney.

1:03:25 What is the only U.S. state that borders both an ocean and a great lake?

1:03:30 New York.

1:03:31 Who played the lead role in the franchise movie series Paul Blart Mall Cop?

1:03:36 Oh, what's his name? Pass.

1:03:38 In 1964, this company started out as Blue Ribbon Sports. What's it called today?

1:03:42 EA Sports?

1:03:44 By surface area, Russia's the largest country in the world with 6.6 million square miles. What second, Canada or the U.S.? Ooh, Canada.

1:03:53 It's O Canada.

1:03:54 Oh, that's true. That's true. O Canada.

1:03:59 Her thick accent.

1:04:00 Oh, that's good. But let's go to the scoreboard. We're going to see how you both did with our own Jose. Lee, I'm live tonight in Uranus, which is actually a tourist attraction known best for their fudge factory. Cut that off. Bolaños.

1:04:13 All right, Erica, you got one correct today.

1:04:15 Oh, Erica.

1:04:16 Amber cheering.

1:04:19 There we go.

1:04:20 Amber, you did get even an extra question she didn't get to win.

1:04:23 Erica had one.

1:04:24 You?

1:04:25 Three correct.

1:04:28 So close.

1:04:29 It was a close one.

1:04:30 It was a good game. Let's go over the answers for everybody. On this day in 1923, a man named Roy Disney co-founded the Walt Disney Company with his brother, Walt Disney.

1:04:41 That's why the brother.

1:04:45 Got kicked out.

1:04:48 I like that.

1:04:50 That was nice. The only U.S. state that borders both an ocean and a great lake would be New York. Paul Blart Mall Cop is the movie series.

1:04:58 I remember now.

1:04:59 Starring who, Brooke?

1:05:00 Kevin James.

1:05:00 Kevin James.

1:05:02 It's one of those where you have to think about him for a minute.

1:05:04 You can see his face.

1:05:08 1964.

1:05:08 Blue Ribbon Sports was the original name of this company. Now it's known as Nike. They rebranded in 1971. And Russia has the largest country by surface area in the world. Second would be Canada. Erica, it wasn't enough to win today, but just for playing, you do get a pair of tickets to see Niall Horan perform at Climate Pledge Arena next May 27th.

1:05:31 Thank you, guys.

1:05:32 All right. Well, hey, happy birthday to your sister-in-law.

1:05:35 I'll let her know.

1:05:36 All right.

1:05:36 Yes.

1:05:37 And just leave a couple K-cups out on the counter and see what happens.

1:05:41 No, when I say your name three times, I'll have them around.

1:05:43 Well, we can't wait to hear from you again soon, Erica. Thank you for playing. We're going to do Winbrook's Buck same time on Monday. Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.