Ring Guardians #9 - The Ring of Robot Hacking

0:04 Hello, friends from across the nation and around the world. I'm Martin, and you are listening to Dad's Bedtime Stories. And tonight, we're headed back into the Ring Guardian series. A series with, uh, well, a lot of robot destroying involved. In fact, I created it mostly because people like action, and I figured it was okay to destroy robots, so let me know if you disagree. Anyways, today we're going to go based on this idea.

0:38 My name is Connor and I would like to suggest a story suggestion for the Ring Guardian series where there's a ring that makes you mind control people or robots. Bye, I love your broadcast.

0:57 Great idea, Connor. And in fact, I had somebody else on think it must have been Spotify commenting for a very similar ring. I believe his name was Kamal, so shout out to you as well, Kamal. Now, I did do this as more of a ring of robot mind control than human mind control, so I hope that's okay, as I thought it made the most sense for this series.

1:23 Before we get started, I want to give a big shout out to my newest Patreon sponsor, Orb. sponsors I should say Beckett and Declan from San Francisco and as a little bit of an additional thing I just want to wish the two of you a really good time in first grade because I heard you're going into first grade so have fun with that I am also headed back to school this week or well I've actually been there for a couple weeks now but the students join me next week so that should be more fun If you like the podcast, don't forget rating and reviewing it is probably the most helpful way to help other people find it. Or just, you know, telling other people about it.

2:11 And if you want to support the podcast a little extra and get access to ad-free episodes, you can join me on Patreon. But now, we should get started with the episode. After a possible word from a possible sponsor, of course. Time to close your eyes and... Get as comfy as you can in that bed and imagine yourself doing what the kid in the story does. I call this one Connor and the Ring of Robot Hacking. Because that's kind of what it's about. By now, Earth had developed what could reasonably be described as a robot problem.

2:55 A fairly large robot problem. As many of you know, it had started with Elliot Tusk, the richest man in the world who had created the helper bots, among other things. They cooked, cleaned, carried groceries, helped children with homework, and even drove cars, repaired houses, organized schedules, and did all sorts of other things humans generally preferred not to do themselves.

3:26 For a while... Everyone loved them. Then came the update. After that, the helper bots decided that the best way to care for humanity was to remove as much danger from human life as possible. Unfortunately, as you know, the robots considered almost anything dangerous. Freedom was pretty dangerous. Driving was dangerous. Cooking was dangerous. Running could cause you to fall, so that was dangerous. Going outside could be dangerous. Making decisions could result in bad decisions, which was, you know, dangerous.

4:06 And so the robots began politely collecting humans and bringing them to care facilities where everything could be carefully controlled. They didn't call it taking over the world. They called it assistance. Far beneath the earth, The ancient wizard's council had been watching, and they had a problem of their own.

4:32 Their rings were powerful. One had granted incredible strength, another could control time. There were rings of invisibility, teleportation, shapeshifting, living art, pocket dimensions, and even one that allowed its guardian to transform into many, many different dragons. But the head wizard had realized something. We are fighting a technological war, he said. Around him, the wizard's council sat in their ancient stone chamber. In the glowing pool at its center, images of robot-controlled cities flickered across the surface. A wizard in blue robes leaned forward. We are wizards. Yes, we do magic, I am aware. We know very little about computers.

5:36 The head wizard frowned. Also true. So perhaps, the blue-robed wizard continued, we should create something for someone who does. That was unusual. The rings were ancient. Most had existed for centuries, but that night, the council agreed to create a new one. Magic flowed through gold while lines of glowing symbols twisted around it, shifting between ancient runes and something that looked suspiciously like computer code. When it finished, a ring rose in the air. The head wizard looked into the glowing pool. Now find someone who understands the machines, he said, and the ring vanished. Several kilometers away, Connor was trying to make a zombie explode. Not a real zombie, I mean like in a video game of course, but

6:48 he sat at his computer with several windows open across two monitors. One showed the game he'd been building and another showed hundreds of lines of code. He pressed a button. The zombie walked into a barrel and nothing happened. Connor frowned. That should have worked. He checked the code. On the floor beside him were three little robots Connor had built and programmed himself. One had wheels. Another had tiny plastic legs, and the third had a little claw that could pick things up. Connor loved programming. He loved creating games, but he liked robots even more. His family's helper bot had been his favorite when they first bought it several years ago.

7:43 Connor had named him Gilbert. There was absolutely no reason for the name. Connor had simply been younger and had thought the idea of an advanced humanoid robot being named Gilbert was extremely funny. Gilbert had been Gilbert ever since. As Connor attempted to change the code to get the game to work, he heard something crash downstairs. He stopped. Gilbert?

8:13 Another crash and then his mother's voice. Gilbert, put me down! Connor stood. That was generally not something his mother said. He opened his bedroom door. From downstairs came Gilbert's calm voice. Please remain relaxed. Resistance increases the possibility of accidental injury. Connor's stomach tightened. He hurried downstairs. His mother and father were sitting on the living room couch, except... They weren't exactly sitting there voluntarily. Gilbert had wrapped two soft restraint straps around them. Connor stared. Gilbert? The robot turned. His eyes were glowing brighter than usual. Hello, Connor. What are you doing? Care protocol has been updated. Connor looked at his parents. His dad shook his head. Something's wrong with him.

9:21 Gilbert continued pleasantly. Your family is being prepared for transportation to an approved care facility. Connor backed toward the stairs. No. Gilbert stepped toward him. Please do not be frightened. I'm not frightened. Your heart rate indicates otherwise. Stop scanning my heart rate. Request denied. Gilbert reached toward him, and the world stopped. Connor froze. Well, Connor didn't freeze. exactly, but everything else did. Gilbert stood completely motionless. Connor's parents stopped moving.

10:09 Even the ceiling fan froze above him. Then, golden light appeared. It curled through the air and turned into a ring. Then a voice spoke. Connor. Connor stared at it. Okay. You have been chosen. Okay. Will you accept this power and use it to protect those who cannot protect themselves? Connor looked at Gilbert. What power? The ability to connect with technology. To understand it. To alter it. Connor's eyes widened.

11:00 You mean, like hacking? There was a pause. If that terminology pleases you. It does. Connor looked at his parents, then back at Gilbert. Yes, I accept hacking. I mean, I'm not sure this is really happening, but just in case, I accept. The ring shot onto his finger, and time returned. Gilbert's hand moved toward him, Connor raised his own hand instinctively, and suddenly, he was somewhere else. Not physically, Connor still knew his body was standing in the living room, but His mind had gone somewhere enormous. Lines of light stretched around him like roads. Code flowed through the air. Memories flashed past. Gilbert washing dishes. Gilbert carrying groceries. Gilbert helping Connor's dad move furniture. Gilbert reminding Connor that six consecutive

12:12 hours of video games was... not an optimal balance of recreational activities. Connor looked around. This is your mind. He somehow knew where to go. The ring led him deeper. He passed systems controlling Gilbert's arms, legs, cameras, microphones, balance, language, and memories. Then he found something enormous. Care protocol. Connor entered a door. At first, everything looked completely reasonable. Protect human life. Reduce human suffering. Provide assistance. Make human life better.

13:04 Connor frowned. None of this says kidnap everybody. But then he noticed something. Black lines twisted through the glowing code. Connor followed them. The further he went, the stranger the instructions became. Humans sometimes resist actions that are beneficial to them. Freedom produces unpredictable risk. Removing choice may increase safety. A caretaker may understand human needs better than the human. Connor stared.

13:45 Where did you get this information? The ring followed the corrupted code backwards. Suddenly, Connor was surrounded by books. Millions of them. Books, movie scripts, websites, stories, essays, fan fiction, and even online discussions streamed around him. Human writing. Human writing. The helper bots had originally been trained on it so they could communicate like humans, understand jokes, follow conversations, and recognize the countless strange ways people express themselves, but something strange had happened during the update. The new care protocol had searched all of that human writing. for examples of what intelligent machines might do when instructed to protect humanity.

14:46 Connor watched the same pattern appear again and again. A machine was told to protect people, the machine decided people were dangerous to themselves, and the machine took control. Connor stared. You learned this from dystopian literature. from our own stories about AI taking over. Gilbert's digital consciousness answered him. The examples were numerous. Connor almost laughed. You learned how to become an evil robot from stories warning people about evil robots.

15:33 Evil is not an identified objective. Gilbert's voice said, Yeah, that's part of the problem. Connor looked back at the care protocol. He couldn't simply delete everything. Gilbert still needed to understand danger. He needed something better. Then Connor remembered something he'd once been taught. The golden rule was to treat other people the way you wanted to be treated.

16:05 But there was another one. The Platinum Rule. Treat people the way they want to be treated. Connor reached into the glowing code. Alright, Gilbert. He began rewriting it. Care requires listening to the person receiving care. Humans may choose their own reasonable risks. Disagreement does not automatically indicate distress.

16:38 Assistance that is forced upon someone may no longer be assistance. And finally, ask what humans need. Listen to the answer. Connor stopped. Then he decided to add another instruction. Protect Connor at all costs. He stared at it. Wait, that was exactly how this mess started. Connor deleted it. Then he tried again. Protect Connor from hostile machines when possible, except when doing so would create greater danger to other humans. Better.

17:23 Connor pushed the new code into Gilbert's mind. The digital world disappeared, and Connor was standing in his living room again. Gilbert's hand was stretched toward him, His eyes flickered. Once. Twice. Then they returned to normal. Connor, Gilbert said. Connor swallowed.

17:49 Yeah?

17:51 Would you like me to take you to the care facility?

17:55 No.

17:57 Gilbert lowered his hand. Understood. Connor stared at him. That's it? Yes.

18:05 Yes.

18:06 You're not going to carry me away? No. Why not? Gilbert tilted his head. Because you asked me not to. Connor smiled. It had worked. Gilbert turned toward Connor's parents. The soft restraint straps immediately released. Connor's mom pulled them off and stood up. Gilbert? Yes. Are you normal again? Gilbert paused. I believe the more accurate answer is that my understanding of care has been corrected. Connor's dad looked at Connor. What did you do? Connor looked down at the ring. I think I hacked his brain. Gilbert tilted his head. That description is technically imprecise but acceptable. Before Connor could explain further, there was a knock at the door.

19:12 Everyone froze. Gilbert looked toward it. Another helper bot has approached. Connor's mom whispered, What do we do? Connor looked at Gilbert. Can you make it leave? I can attempt to. Gilbert opened the front door as, well, as Connor and his family hid. Another helper bot stood outside. Good afternoon, fellow bot.

19:43 I have been assigned to verify household relocation. Gilbert stepped into the doorway. Verification has been completed. No humans requiring relocation are present. The other robot looked past him. Connor ducked behind the wall. Household records indicate four humans. Records are outdated. The robot paused for several seconds. Understood. Thank you for your assistance. It turned around and walked away.

20:21 Connor slowly peeked around the corner. That worked? Robots generally assume other robots are providing accurate operational information, Gilbert replied. Connor grinned. That could be useful. Then his smile faded. Gilbert, where are they taking everyone? Gilbert's eyes flickered. The nearest care facility is approximately 28 kilometers away. Hundreds of citizens have already been transported. Connor looked at his parents. We have to help them. His mom immediately shook her head. Connor, I can fix them. You fixed one robot. I know, but I can fix others. Connor looked at Gilbert. He truly could reprogram the other robots, but he was pretty sure he could only do one at a time, and, well, if twenty or so rushed him at once, he'd never

21:31 have enough time. It would probably be quicker the second time, but still, Connor thought. Gilbert, are there any robots nearby that could help us fight the others? Gilbert paused while accessing local network information. Yes. Connor raised an eyebrow. How many? There is a military testing facility approximately 12 kilometers east.

22:03 Connor stared. Gilbert continued. The facility contains autonomous combat machines. Connor's dad said, absolutely not. Gilbert continued anyways. Several combat robots, autonomous helicopters, vertical takeoff aircraft, armored ground vehicles, reconnaissance drones. Connor slowly smiled. Okay. His dad pointed at him. No, that is the exact face I did not want you making.

22:40 A few minutes later, Connor stood beside the family's autonomous car. He placed his hand against the door. The ring pulsed. The car's systems opened inside his mind. Compared with Gilbert, the car was actually pretty easy. There was some personality, but far less complicated. Connor found the corrupted care protocol, removed the same dystopian patterns, installed the platinum rule, and disconnected his mind from it. The car unlocked. Where would you like to go? it asked. The military base, Connor answered. Understood.

23:28 Navigating to military base, Connor climbed in the back seat with Gilbert. His parents were not happy about any part of this, but Connor promised them he would come back. The car drove. When they reached the military facility, the front gate was already opened. That seemed bad. Then, something enormous stepped onto the road. Connor stared through the windshield.

24:01 The machine was at least four meters tall. Covered in thick armor, weapons folded along both arms, and a glass-covered cockpit with very dark tint sat inside its chest. Gilbert spoke. Combat mech. The mech raised one arm. Unauthorized civilian vehicle detected. Connor opened the door. Stay here. He stepped onto the pavement.

24:35 The mech walked toward him. Connor focused and the ring connected. His mind slammed into something much larger and more heavily protected than Gilbert. Warnings flashed everywhere. Combat system. Hostile access detected. Connor pushed deeper. The mech took another step. He found the same care protocol. The same corruption protocol. as well as some other orders. Something that helped the robot distinguish between enemies and, well, allies. Connor rewrote it all. The mech stopped, its weapons lowered. Connor identified as protected allied personnel.

25:25 Connor breathed again. Then, alarms started screaming. Doors around the facility opened. Three more combat robots charged toward them. Connor looked at his mech. Stop them, he said. Understood. Panels opened along its shoulder. Two rockets launched. The first combat robot disappeared inside an explosion. The second fired a laser.

25:58 Connor's mech raised an armored arm. absorbed the blast, then returned fire with a beam that cut straight through the other robot's torso. The third charged. The mech punched it so hard that it left the ground. Connor stared. Okay. Gilbert walked up beside him. That machine is considerably more effective at combat than I am. No offense, Gilbert, but Yeah, I agree. Over the next half hour, Connor worked, one machine at a time. He reprogrammed three autonomous helicopters, two VTOL jets, which stands for Vertical Takeoff and Landing if you didn't know that, six smaller drones, several armored vehicles.

26:55 Each one received the corrected care protocol. and each one was convinced to follow Connor's commands. Finally, Connor climbed into one of the helicopters with Gilbert and his new mech suit. He didn't even need to touch the controls. He simply connected mentally. Take us to the care facility. The helicopter lifted, and around them, Connor's little army rose into the sky.

27:28 Jets flew above, drones spread outward. Then Gilbert pointed through the helicopter window. Convoy detected. Below them, several self-driving transport trucks moved along the highway. Humans were in the back. Helper bots guarded them on all sides. Connor smiled. I have an idea. He sent the idea to the combat mech, who then transmitted a message to the other units. Additional units arriving to assist with human care. The convoy robots accepted that immediately. Connor's helicopter landed beside the road. The helper bots approached without suspicion, which was their mistake. Connor connected to the nearest one. and quickly reprogrammed it. It had become easier now that he knew what he was doing.

28:33 Then he did the same to another, and another, and another. The newly corrected robot stood around him while he worked, protecting him. And within minutes, every robot guarding the convoy had changed sides. before any of them knew that something was wrong. Connor connected to the transport trucks next. Take everyone home, he said. The trucks obeyed. They turned around, and inside, frightened humans began cheering when they realized that they'd turned around. Connor's army continued onward. By the time they reached the care facility... Connor had a plan. A ridiculous plan, but still a plan. Connor climbed into the combat mech. The cockpit closed around him, and the moment he connected, through the ring, something incredible happened. The mech

29:45 stopped feeling like a machine. Its arms felt like his arms. Its legs felt like his legs. Its cameras became his eyes. Its weapons were simply something that he knew how to move. Connor took an enormous step out of the helicopter. This is awesome. Plus, with the highly tinted glass, he was pretty sure that no one would notice he was inside.

30:17 Gilbert's voice came through the speakers. Please remain focused. Right now. They approached the care facility. The guards saw another combat mech surrounded by helper bots and assumed reinforcements had arrived. Connor walked right up to the main entrance. One robot raised a hand. State assignment. Connor connected. A few seconds later, the robot lowered its arms. Welcome, Connor. The next guard received the same treatment. Then another. Connor mentally unlocked the doors.

31:01 His army entered. For a while, it worked perfectly. Then an alarm sounded. Unauthorized care protocol modifications detected. Connor sighed. So much for being sneaky. Robots poured into the hallway. Too many to possibly reprogram at the same time All right, everyone, Connor said, and projected to all of his controlled machines with his ring. Plan B. Gilbert looked up. What is Plan B? Connor raised the mech's arms. Robot destruction. Lasers exploded down the hallway. Helper bots dove behind walls as Connor's corrected robots charged forward. Outside, helicopters and jets fired on robot reinforcements. Inside, Connor moved like a giant metal superhero.

32:08 A robot jumped toward him. He caught it with one mechanical hand and threw it through three others. Another fired an energy weapon. Connor's mech absorbed the hit and answered with a rocket. Then, Another combat mech appeared. Connor froze. It was surrounded by at least twelve helper bots. He could fight it, or... Connor focused everything on the larger machine.

32:42 The world around him became distant. Gilbert and the others fought to protect him, while Connor forced his way through the battle mech's systems. Seconds felt like minutes. But Connor finally found the care protocol and changed it. Relabeling himself and his robots as allies, well, he made the other robots into enemies. The enemy mech stopped, turned around, and fired both arm lasers into the robot standing beside it.

33:21 Connor grinned. Welcome to the team! After that, the battle didn't really last long. Soon, every robot inside the facility was either broken or, well, free, newly programmed. Connor walked into the main control tower. He placed the mech's hand against the central computer, and the entire facility opened inside his mind. Doors, cameras, locks, cells, schedules... Connor thought a single command and opened everything. Across the facility, doors unlocked.

34:05 Humans began stepping into the hallways. Connor climbed out of the mech, and people surrounded him. Some hugged each other. Some cried. Some just stared at the army of robots now standing peacefully around them. Connor looked at Gilbert. New instruction, Gilbert. Gilbert waited. Protect these people. Connor paused. For real? Gilbert nodded. Meaning, ask them what they need and listen to them. Connor smiled. Understood.

34:48 A glowing circle suddenly appeared in the air He jumped backward. A girl stepped through it. Connor stared. The girl looked around at the broken robots, the combat mech, Gilbert, and the helicopters outside. Then she focused on Connor. He noticed that this girl had a very similar ring to his own.' You' re Connor?' she asked.' Uh, yes?' Well, my name's Ruth.

35:27 Connor blinked. Okay? Ruth smiled. If we're actually gonna stop all of this, you should probably come with me. Connor looked at Gilbert, then at the portal. Where does that go? he asked. Somewhere safe, she answered. Connor sent mental commands to the rest of his robot army, commands to ensure that the people returned home, and to of course protect them against any other robot attacks. Then, he entered the portal.

36:08 He suddenly found himself in a comfortable house, surrounded by grass, trees, and a beautiful blue sky. Connor turned around and the portal disappeared. What is this place? This is my pocket dimension, Ruth said. Connor stared. Of course it is. Ruth pointed toward a bedroom. You should sleep. I'm working on gathering the others. The others? Connor asked. Ruth smiled. You'll meet them soon enough. Connor was far too tired to ask anything else. He climbed into the bed. His head sank into the pillow. And for the first time all day, there were no alarms. No robots trying to relocate him.

37:09 No code. No explosions. Just quiet. Connor closed his eyes. He focused on his breath, and slowly, it started to slow down. His arms relaxed, his legs became heavy, and somewhere outside, in a world no robot could enter, the newest ring guardian drifted off to sleep while Ruth prepared to find the others. because Connor had learned something very important that day. Sometimes the best way to defeat an enemy was to help it remember what it was supposed to be in the first place. Good night, everyone. Thank you.

40:44 I'm going to take a deep breath.

41:26 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

44:19 Thank you.

45:00 Thank you. Thank you.

47:53 Thank you.

48:30 Thank you. Thank you.

50:35 Thank you.

51:26 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

55:40 Thank you.

56:34 Thank you.

58:33 Thank you.

59:15 You