Cozy Bedrooms & Doing the Next Thing | Season 30

0:03 [SPEAKER_00]: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Home Maker Sheep podcast, the podcast where we are rescuing the art of home making. [SPEAKER_00]: I'll tell you what we're not rescuing Angela. [SPEAKER_00]: The art of technology, the art of technology, continues to evade these sweet little homemakers.

0:24 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, let's different every time you sit down. [SPEAKER_02]: The technology gods are like, hey, we're going to toss the dice here. [SPEAKER_02]: You're just trying to do your job. [SPEAKER_02]: So yeah, let's just see what, well, let's just see what kind of day we can give you. [SPEAKER_02]: Let's see what updates you need.

0:49 [SPEAKER_02]: Where did it go? [SPEAKER_02]: I shrunk it. [SPEAKER_02]: I was because it made me really angry. [SPEAKER_02]: Would you like Google's recording everything you say and do until you tell it not to? [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, okay. [SPEAKER_02]: Well, please don't. [SPEAKER_02]: And so then I hit, please don't.

1:02 [SPEAKER_02]: And it was like, guess what you have to do that somewhere else. [SPEAKER_02]: And it's going to take a while. [SPEAKER_00]: Great. [SPEAKER_00]: So just give us a blood sample and then maybe we'll think exactly a blade of grass from your front yard. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Hello, everyone.

1:15 [SPEAKER_00]: We're so happy to be back with you here for season 30. [SPEAKER_00]: Season 30. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And we're rescuing the art of home making and we've got our red lips and our no denim jumpers. [SPEAKER_00]: And we've got our new video podcasts, which is great. [SPEAKER_00]: Got some really sweet comments from you over on Spotify.

1:37 [SPEAKER_00]: Those of you who watch the podcast now over on Spotify. [SPEAKER_00]: So that's really fun. [SPEAKER_02]: I had like a lot of stuff on my filing cabinet back there because I'm still I'm like 99% unpacked, but there's those straggler items, and they were all on my filing cabinet, and I sat down and I looked, I'm like, oh gosh, that looks terrible.

1:56 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, shoved it all out the way. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, like just the whatever, the travel, uh, what's the thing you floss your [SPEAKER_02]: The water thing, like a travel water pick, you know, like just sitting there. [SPEAKER_02]: You take a travel water pick. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, girl.

2:15 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't want dementia. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I've said on this podcast that I've gone like my whole life without flossing and now I'm all about it. [SPEAKER_02]: So, yes, I take a travel water pick. [SPEAKER_02]: It's pink. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, how come you don't just use floss because my teeth are really, really, really tight and if you want to see me have a nervous breakdown, you can watch me floss and then every single time the floss gets stuck in my teeth and I have like a freak out like a panic.

2:42 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I can't do it. [SPEAKER_02]: I cannot floss. [SPEAKER_02]: I am not that person. [SPEAKER_02]: it's hilarious. [SPEAKER_02]: It's not funny. [SPEAKER_02]: It's actually really bad. [SPEAKER_02]: If every time I'm like, I think I'll try it again. [SPEAKER_02]: And then it just gets stuck and it's horrible.

2:58 [SPEAKER_02]: Use waxed. [SPEAKER_02]: No. [SPEAKER_02]: It's going to get stuck. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: That's so funny. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to think my orthodontist for that. [SPEAKER_00]: there were a couple of moments on the trip where I got into an elevator and got right out. [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, nope, that's a hard pass.

3:16 [SPEAKER_00]: The claustrophobia, like you're talking about when something gets stuck, that it's like a visceral response and you're like, there is no way. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing this. [SPEAKER_00]: No, I don't. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if the teeth thing would count as cluster phobia or like over stimulation doc.

3:33 [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's like that's me. [SPEAKER_02]: I got like glue on all my fingertips and it's all I can do not to just wake out the sensory. [SPEAKER_00]: Like it's just like maybe we tried to use a microfiber cloth. [SPEAKER_00]: I can't even touch them. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_02]: If you have a [SPEAKER_02]: No, no way.

4:02 [SPEAKER_00]: No way for me. [SPEAKER_00]: Um, so we recorded, I was going to say, you're going to have to get to come back to that word trip. [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, so let's let's bring you along here. [SPEAKER_00]: Um, we recorded episode one of this season, like at the end of August, before I left, and then I was gone and [SPEAKER_00]: left the day after I got back and she was gone.

4:26 [SPEAKER_00]: And so this is the first time that we're sitting down in five weeks to record of August. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I left the 30th. [SPEAKER_00]: That's why this feels really like, hey, it's been a hot minute. [SPEAKER_00]: Wow. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And then I think something accidentally happened.

4:46 [SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't here to publish the podcast. [SPEAKER_00]: So I was texting Angela from Italy. [SPEAKER_02]: Like, hey, can you get in there? [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like on the streets of Paris, trying to publish. [SPEAKER_02]: No, no, no, you weren't. [SPEAKER_02]: You hadn't left yet. [SPEAKER_02]: No, something happened.

5:01 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: All right. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so I'm texting you and I'm like, hey, can you publish today's episode? [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't have enough internet. [SPEAKER_00]: My internet was super spotty in the apartment, the first apartment we stayed in. [SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't do it.

5:12 [SPEAKER_00]: So I was like, can you go in and publish? [SPEAKER_02]: And I think two episodes accidentally got published in one time. [SPEAKER_00]: So you published like the episode nine and episode 10 the same day. [SPEAKER_00]: And so for our guests, it feels like it's been a very long time. [SPEAKER_00]: Gotcha.

5:28 [SPEAKER_00]: Why am I saying it was ever coming back? [SPEAKER_00]: Are you ever being a fashion it shouldn't have been that long, but sorry about that anyway. [SPEAKER_00]: We're here now back to normal schedule, back to normal life, at least until the next round of trips. [SPEAKER_00]: So it's good to be here.

5:45 [SPEAKER_00]: We're getting cozy this season. [SPEAKER_00]: I love it. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so today we got some comments to catch up on and we thought we would talk about getting coes in our bedrooms not that kind of cozy not that kind of [SPEAKER_02]: just saying. [SPEAKER_02]: And that's not what I know.

6:11 [SPEAKER_02]: I know you guys want us to talk about that, but we're not going to talk about that. [SPEAKER_02]: Checking to talk about the other kind of cozy, like don't dump laundry all over your bed cozy, because it needs to be used for the other kind of cozy, so you know. [SPEAKER_02]: That's right.

6:25 [SPEAKER_02]: That's right. [SPEAKER_02]: That's right. [SPEAKER_00]: And I was telling Angela before we started recording that my internet for whatever reason isn't working in my office. [SPEAKER_00]: Our whole house is old and it's stuck all in the internet has a hard time like going through the walls.

6:42 [SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, I don't know if they're out of gate out or what, but this is the only room in the house where I currently have internet. [SPEAKER_00]: So we I'm actually recording in my bedroom for those of you watching on video and so. [SPEAKER_00]: Just serendipitously, we're going to be talking about this today.

6:55 [SPEAKER_02]: Wonderful. [SPEAKER_02]: Why don't you just take care of this now? [SPEAKER_02]: Do you remember what shade of green that is? [SPEAKER_02]: Gosh. [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for asking. [SPEAKER_02]: No, I don't. [SPEAKER_02]: I was like, they're envy or grasshopper. [SPEAKER_02]: Let me tell you.

7:08 [SPEAKER_00]: It's laying in bed the other night thinking, man, I hope I don't have to patch this up because do I have the can of this? [SPEAKER_00]: Where did I stick that? [SPEAKER_00]: You know, you know how some people are just better humans than other people and they like keep a list of all the paint colors and what finish they have in their house sure.

7:28 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not that person, I'll tell you that and I hate it. [SPEAKER_00]: I need it. [SPEAKER_02]: I have a list only because it's a handout I made, like when people subscribe to my email list, because of my content being like home-based, like I get so many questions, what colors that, what colors, that, what colors, that, I'm like, that's it, I'm just making a document.

7:49 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'd have to maybe I have this can somewhere. [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I have this can somewhere. [SPEAKER_00]: I'll tell you what I do have. [SPEAKER_00]: I do have this beautiful candle look at this do everything in love. [SPEAKER_00]: So we're so glad that salt and light by Sam you're here.

8:05 [SPEAKER_00]: I love this candle. [SPEAKER_00]: I've been burning it very, very slowly because I love this smell so much, but this is like my very special bedroom candle. [SPEAKER_00]: But since I'm in here, I thought I'd burn it today, but um, well, it just launched it's so cozy. [SPEAKER_00]: And they just launched all their autumn fall sense and flavors on their flavors, but um, they're so good.

8:28 [SPEAKER_00]: They're so, so good. [SPEAKER_00]: So you guys, if you haven't yet checked them out, their information is is below the video. [SPEAKER_00]: We're so thankful for our sponsors who keep home, make her sheet going and really like the blessing that they are to. [SPEAKER_00]: to our homes. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, we've we've partnered with some of them for so long because they're good.

8:47 [SPEAKER_00]: They're like, we're doing all these things in our home in our bedroom. [SPEAKER_00]: Today like we have to clean our bedrooms. [SPEAKER_00]: We have to make our bed. [SPEAKER_00]: We have to have our bedroom smell nice. [SPEAKER_00]: Like there are these lovely tangible things that we can do to make it so beautiful.

9:01 [SPEAKER_02]: I rolled over the night, it was the night after I got back and I, you know, you're not sleeping while you're trying to, well, I always try to get like my circadian rhythm back on track, Pronto, and it's a lot of work. [SPEAKER_02]: There's a lot of work, but I rolled over in the middle of the night and thought, I smell salt and light by Sammy, like I had because I have the read diffuser, the rosemary one right right on my night stand and.

9:28 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm always be home, I must be home, you know, and there's no garbage truck outside my Paris hotel windows or that, you know, there's so noisy in in the morning, okay comments. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, let's do comments. [SPEAKER_00]: Let's do it. [SPEAKER_00]: his the season for tucking into a gorgeous bed dressed with American blossom linens.

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12:05 [SPEAKER_02]: So Laurel says, I also suffer from linguistic convergence. [SPEAKER_02]: I just never knew it had a name. [SPEAKER_02]: That's because I googled it while we were recording the show who knew. [SPEAKER_02]: It can be embarrassing, but I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. [SPEAKER_02]: Is there a speech therapy we can do or something or just embrace it?

12:22 [SPEAKER_02]: Imitation is the highest form of flattery. [SPEAKER_02]: I'll tell you when I have linguist in convergence is when I'm singing along in my truck to a little lightly. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: It's like instant. [SPEAKER_02]: We should have been doing my Spanish lessons, but not so much.

12:46 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like I said, it's, it's a super power when channeled correctly, not great when you're talking to your southern southern sister in law. [SPEAKER_00]: Really great when you're learning a language really great. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, it has the name and it's funny because I got a Marco Polo from Cali right before we started recording.

13:07 [SPEAKER_02]: She was like, I do this. [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know this had a name. [SPEAKER_02]: It's so now if I could just like, [SPEAKER_02]: adopt like a French accent like speak when speaking English or a British accent. [SPEAKER_02]: I would love that. [SPEAKER_02]: I've always said like I'm not a pill taker.

13:27 [SPEAKER_02]: I would take a pill. [SPEAKER_02]: There was that was my biggest question in high school to my French teacher. [SPEAKER_02]: How long would it take me to get a French accent? [SPEAKER_00]: Like English. [SPEAKER_02]: In English. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: He's like a long time.

13:43 [SPEAKER_00]: Talk to an American who lives in Sicily, who has an Italian accent now when she speaks English. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I have a friend, she might be listening. [SPEAKER_02]: Hi, lovely. [SPEAKER_02]: In Florida, who's lived in France for the last 20 years? [SPEAKER_02]: And you can definitely hear it when she speaks English.

14:00 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, for sure. [SPEAKER_00]: That's fun. [SPEAKER_02]: All right, Kresta. [SPEAKER_02]: Hi, Kresta. [SPEAKER_02]: Hi, Kresta. [SPEAKER_02]: Ladies, I've been listening since day one, [SPEAKER_02]: It's been a struggle my whole life for people who to understand that I'm not making fun of them.

14:18 [SPEAKER_02]: I can't help it. [SPEAKER_02]: I lived in the PNW, no accent there, so Cal and the Midwest. [SPEAKER_02]: And if I'm talking to people from the Midwest, I sound like it. [SPEAKER_00]: I have no advice. [SPEAKER_00]: It's so hard. [SPEAKER_02]: Wait, listen to this. [SPEAKER_02]: Speaking of, she says, I have family in Great Britain.

14:37 [SPEAKER_02]: Crestards that I know this. [SPEAKER_02]: I have family in Great Britain who lived around the corner for me when I was a child. [SPEAKER_02]: And I also sleep talk. [SPEAKER_02]: My mom still talks about the nights when I would talk in my sleep with a British accent. [SPEAKER_02]: Boom!

14:51 [SPEAKER_02]: That means it's in there somewhere. [SPEAKER_02]: I actually a few weeks ago I said something at the shop and a customer goes, you just totally said that with a French accent. [SPEAKER_02]: I was like, I did. [SPEAKER_02]: What did I say? [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't even know what I said, but apparently she felt like it had some sort of linguistic, convergent flair.

15:12 [SPEAKER_00]: So [SPEAKER_00]: Somebody told me recently that accents, you know, they're part of your story. [SPEAKER_00]: And when you hear, like, polyglots speak or, hey, I was in, I was raised in, you know, Norway for this long and then wherever England for this long and then we moved here. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, when people move around, you can't place their accents.

15:33 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a full corner copia of their experiences as a person. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that, [SPEAKER_00]: I married to a Southern man. [SPEAKER_00]: This is part of our family, Lexicon. [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_00]: I also say things like Narlie, because I'm from the West Coast. [SPEAKER_02]: You will never meet hear me saying, y'all.

15:54 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, I would sound like I was like being so weird. [SPEAKER_02]: Like, I just don't say that ever. [SPEAKER_02]: Right. [SPEAKER_02]: Ever. [SPEAKER_00]: That's not part of your, that's not part of your, [SPEAKER_00]: your DNA. [SPEAKER_00]: No. [SPEAKER_00]: Do you know what I mean? [SPEAKER_00]: So there were certain definitely certain words that we took in when we live in the south and things that just stick.

16:15 [SPEAKER_00]: And anyway, the point was stop trying to get rid of your accent, even speaking a new link. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: That's part of the story. [SPEAKER_00]: That's part of who you are. [SPEAKER_00]: So we're all unique. [SPEAKER_00]: We all say different things speak different ways.

16:33 [SPEAKER_00]: Here we go. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: I can't see the comments. [SPEAKER_00]: So here in charge here. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: Let me always wait. [SPEAKER_02]: Adrian says, I also mimic accents in him darn good at it. [SPEAKER_02]: I just organize my home library using the do a decimal system and input input in put all of them into a spreadsheet.

16:50 [SPEAKER_02]: This is got to be in reference to your frustration at the library. [SPEAKER_02]: I used do we look up my fiction as organized by a. [SPEAKER_02]: Whoa. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know this word. [SPEAKER_02]: Shea, what is this word? [SPEAKER_02]: I can't see it. [SPEAKER_02]: What is this word?

17:07 [SPEAKER_02]: See, I, you. [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, no, she spelled it wrong. [SPEAKER_01]: This. [SPEAKER_01]: That's a typo, it's like my goodness. [SPEAKER_02]: My fiction is organized by the country origin of author. [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, okay. [SPEAKER_02]: And then by subcategory blah, blah, blah. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, my kids are growing up, so it's just me to keep at it like this.

17:33 [SPEAKER_02]: But I want to put little labels, so anyone could find and return. [SPEAKER_02]: Dork, she said, Adrian, you sound like you're really on top of it, not a dork, but you did spell country wrong. [SPEAKER_02]: And you threw me for a loop. [SPEAKER_02]: And it was like, oh, something you learned.

17:48 [SPEAKER_02]: What's the, I love new words. [SPEAKER_02]: But I saw this and I'm like, gosh, this isn't even, you know, sometimes they're just back there and you're like, okay, I've seen that word, I've heard it. [SPEAKER_02]: I've never used it before. [SPEAKER_02]: But, hmm, yeah, it's okay. [SPEAKER_02]: Wow, you really hit with the accent shade.

18:06 [SPEAKER_02]: They're all accents. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm an, okay, scroll up and find that it's not about an accent. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, Megan, Megan from Swap. [SPEAKER_02]: I think, Megan François says, hi, Angela and Shay, thank you for putting into words what I couldn't. [SPEAKER_02]: I've been feeling so lost with an empty nest on the horizon as my three boys are reaching adulthood.

18:28 [SPEAKER_02]: I no longer see what the future holds. [SPEAKER_02]: Oh. [SPEAKER_02]: It's a scary place to be, and it feels like a sad and too beautiful story, however, when I've faced uncertainty before, it always turned out more beautiful than expected. [SPEAKER_02]: God is always a step ahead. [SPEAKER_02]: I appreciate you processing this together with us.

18:45 [SPEAKER_02]: It helps to understand that we're not alone. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I was telling Angela that I listened to the podcast yesterday so that I could remember sort of what we had talked about before we sat down again. [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know if you remember this, but we had this really long talk about how we'd set the stage for our lives and we built with a vision in mind and then all of a sudden you find yourself.

19:09 [SPEAKER_00]: older and you can't quite see what the next piece is. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah and so I was laying in bed last night I don't know what happened but I woke up at 2 o'clock and was awake for hours just laying and bed thinking and I was thinking about how in some ways we expect life to get maybe a little bit easier as we get older we figure things out we have a little bit more stable job whatever it may be.

19:37 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think what I'm finding, especially in my faith and my Christianity is sanctification means that you're [SPEAKER_00]: It's like more, more challenging. [SPEAKER_00]: What? [SPEAKER_00]: So it is like, you start really like the Bible calls it spiritual milk, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Just like a baby and you have to learn how to digest these very basic rudimentary things.

20:05 [SPEAKER_00]: And then you get to the point where you're eating meat. [SPEAKER_00]: And so you have your learning how to chew. [SPEAKER_00]: Think about all the things that are involved in that. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not something that gets easier. [SPEAKER_00]: challenged and forced to grow and forced to change and forced to repent and forced to like rely in such advanced new ways as we get older.

20:32 [SPEAKER_00]: And it just dawned on me like, duh, you're getting older. [SPEAKER_00]: That means you're getting [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that would be my follow-up to what you just said is like, while all of that is happening, there's there is this amazing experience when you're in the thick of whatever, whether it's day to day or whatever, where you feel like the wisdom that you've gained over the years and you feel a slower reaction time, you feel like kind of this, I just tell my kids, I said, [SPEAKER_02]: This is going to pan out somehow, you know, I just feel like a little bit more like, you know, I'm driving.

21:23 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm just like cool. [SPEAKER_02]: All right, bump. [SPEAKER_02]: Here we go. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, it's, it's, yeah, it's different. [SPEAKER_00]: Like in it too, when I was training Georgia's my first born, um, when I was potty training her, I was like, okay, the book says now's the time here's how we're gonna do it here's your trade, there's your potty times here's your schedule, blah, blah, blah, blah and that was, you know, that was like a very.

21:57 [SPEAKER_00]: young mother thing to do. [SPEAKER_00]: And I realized pretty quickly, like they need to potty train when they're sort of ready to potty train. [SPEAKER_00]: That doesn't mean it's not work, but like you got to read the room. [SPEAKER_00]: You got to be willing to just sort of like right for the right time in the right way.

22:12 [SPEAKER_00]: And with the other kids, instead of potty training feeling like this giant horrible mountain, we were trying to get over. [SPEAKER_00]: It was just like, it's all right, like it was a nothing, we've called it a nothing burger in our house. [SPEAKER_00]: It was a nothing burger. [SPEAKER_00]: It was just like, okay, he sort of show in some interest.

22:27 [SPEAKER_00]: I think he's kind of ready. [SPEAKER_00]: All right, let's put a little work in. [SPEAKER_00]: And it, but it took that like grown, that maturing, right? [SPEAKER_02]: To be like, no, it's okay. [SPEAKER_02]: It's cool. [SPEAKER_02]: So what did, what did I, I'll, I'll share what I did.

22:41 [SPEAKER_02]: But how did, what did, how did you potty train? [SPEAKER_02]: Just because we have lots of trench listeners, you know? [SPEAKER_02]: Ah, the trenches. [SPEAKER_00]: So what's, well, with the subtle and children when I knew better, I basically let them go naked. [SPEAKER_00]: all the time.

22:54 [SPEAKER_00]: And I set a timer for an hour. [SPEAKER_00]: I think it was an hour, some amount of time. [SPEAKER_00]: And I would just like, okay, go try and go potty. [SPEAKER_00]: And I gave them a little treat if they just sat on the toilet for two or three minutes. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't remember what it was, but they got a little something and then they just keep running around naked and I set the timer again.

23:12 [SPEAKER_00]: And once I knew enough to know, hey, do it when they're ready. [SPEAKER_00]: a big deal at all. [SPEAKER_00]: I did have a little potty, one of those little cute little potty, so my gosh. [SPEAKER_00]: And I carried it around in my car because inevitably you'd get the, oh, I got to go, I got to go.

23:34 [SPEAKER_02]: And you'd be like, and then you'd say just go in your diaper and then they would be mad at you. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, because they're mad. [SPEAKER_02]: They would be mad because they're like, I've been working so hard at this. [SPEAKER_02]: Now you just want me to chat in my diaper. [SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, no, they can't do that.

23:48 [SPEAKER_00]: So we've [SPEAKER_02]: There is, uh, so when we were first married, we would always watch always, always, always. [SPEAKER_02]: I've seen every Spanish and French movie from the late 90s, early 2000s, because that's all we would do is rent four in films. [SPEAKER_02]: I've seen them all.

24:09 [SPEAKER_02]: And there was one called like Water for Chocolate, who's Spanish. [SPEAKER_02]: And so we did, like, like, potty for chocolate. [SPEAKER_02]: That was hard to make. [SPEAKER_02]: And I used chocolate chips. [SPEAKER_02]: And if they went, they would get a chocolate chip. [SPEAKER_02]: And I always had, like, three little patties around the strip them down.

24:35 [SPEAKER_02]: If if not, [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, if they, if they went number one, they got one chocolate chip, but if they went number two, they got two chocolate chips. [SPEAKER_02]: And it worked. [SPEAKER_02]: And like, if they, I, I also like if it had been a while, I was like, okay, it's time, you know, and then you just do the little warm water trickle on the inner thigh.

24:57 [SPEAKER_02]: like magic and I actually really liked potty training. [SPEAKER_02]: I thought it was so amusing and I thought like this is yeah I enjoyed it was like this is sweet chapter because they they're fiercely proud you know and I thought it was adorable so and I thought my little name like potty for chocolate was very [SPEAKER_00]: so that's weird.

25:31 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's weird. [SPEAKER_00]: It's weird and it's amazing because she can go to the grocery store for me. [SPEAKER_00]: It's like a new leaf of adulthood because she took the kids to piano yesterday. [SPEAKER_00]: I have been driving them to piano for nine years. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Everyone's [SPEAKER_00]: and all of a sudden it was like they just got in the car and left to do it and I are looking at each other like what what is this yeah it's like it's it's the equivalent of when you can leave them at home alone for the first time yeah you're like wait you don't have to get a babysitter we can go get a latte [SPEAKER_02]: are you kidding me?

26:13 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah um yeah Julia just played that card last night. [SPEAKER_02]: Julia so I think what six months older than Georgia last night I wanted her home home by 830 and Aunt Ace was at youth group and she's like if you let me stay out till 930 I can pick Aunt Ace up. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like sold!

26:34 [SPEAKER_00]: Well played. [SPEAKER_00]: Well played. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we should do an episode on this, but there was um, there was a night when Georgia drove them to Jiu-Jitsu. [SPEAKER_00]: Again, this is something we've been doing for almost five years now. [SPEAKER_00]: Every Monday and Wednesday night, it's doing I wear out home.

26:53 [SPEAKER_00]: We were kind of both plugging away on work and I said to him, what are we going to talk about when the kids are [SPEAKER_01]: with it. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't like it. [SPEAKER_02]: It's so quiet. [SPEAKER_02]: It's, I am not really like that will be let's just say that will be a whole new chapter.

27:17 [SPEAKER_02]: I know. [SPEAKER_00]: We have to start now. [SPEAKER_00]: We have to start thinking about this because [SPEAKER_02]: Because that's, I don't know, it just sounds really fricking boring quite frankly. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, well, that sounds like we're not going to be boring. [SPEAKER_00]: We got to do stuff.

27:32 [SPEAKER_02]: You know what it sounds like the equivalent of it sounds like the equivalent of, like, say you want like the power ball. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, okay. [SPEAKER_02]: So that's only fun for like 18 months. [SPEAKER_02]: And then what you've bought everything, you own seven homes and. [SPEAKER_02]: And then what?

27:54 [SPEAKER_02]: And that's like the equivalent to me. [SPEAKER_02]: It's like, okay, like, woohoo. [SPEAKER_02]: Nobody's leaving toothpaste globs in the sink and dropping the lint on the floor in front of the dryer. [SPEAKER_02]: And now what? [SPEAKER_02]: Then what? [SPEAKER_02]: No, no genuinely. [SPEAKER_02]: You got no genuinely.

28:12 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, somebody sent us a great sweet little message on Instagram, and it was them as a grandparent holding this sweet little baby. [SPEAKER_00]: And she's like, this is what's next. [SPEAKER_00]: God willing. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, um, this is what's next. [SPEAKER_00]: And I just thought, yes, like, yes to that.

28:30 [SPEAKER_00]: And then, but like, who knows what the situation is? [SPEAKER_00]: Are they living with you? [SPEAKER_00]: Are you living with them? [SPEAKER_00]: Like, what? [SPEAKER_00]: Who knows? [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, who knows how many times am I going back and forth from France to the Grand Babies, you know, because I tell you what last week I was like, yeah, I could do this.

28:53 [SPEAKER_02]: The babies are France France I already know I can do the babies. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I already know that give them all to me. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I have cried the last three mornings in a row. [SPEAKER_00]: It's, I don't know, what this stage of line up, we're all just walking through it for the first time.

29:14 [SPEAKER_00]: I miss it so much. [SPEAKER_00]: I miss being there so much. [SPEAKER_00]: I miss who I am when I'm there. [SPEAKER_00]: I, there was some piece of me this trip. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if it was just going back to this, I go back to the same small village over it, over it, over it. [SPEAKER_00]: So it does get to the point where you're walking down the street.

29:35 [SPEAKER_00]: You see people, you know, they know who you are. [SPEAKER_00]: I got a text message from my favorite cafe, like maybe three days ago, and it was like, you miss you guys? [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, that's just not nice. [SPEAKER_02]: That is really not cool. [SPEAKER_00]: It was something and me came alive.

29:51 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was just like, you hear a lot of expats who talk about moving. [SPEAKER_00]: They talk about relocating, but then they don't have a community. [SPEAKER_00]: They don't have a place like that they belong. [SPEAKER_00]: So they feel very just placed. [SPEAKER_00]: That's yeah, that.

30:06 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a very common. [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's true. [SPEAKER_00]: If you move somewhere in the United States where you speak the language, you're just like, okay, but who are my friends and what's my community and what am I doing here? [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, we're still here in the United States.

30:20 [SPEAKER_02]: And I just feel in the last year, like I'm in the groove with that sure. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think it takes it takes a lot of time and it takes a lot of effort and I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm. [SPEAKER_00]: Um, if anyone else needs the same encouragement, you should go listen to Elizabeth Elliott's podcast.

30:43 [SPEAKER_00]: I was telling the Angela that I knew that it's like spiritually and in my heart, I was a little fragile. [SPEAKER_00]: So I was like, you have to be really careful about what you're feeding yourself right now, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: Elizabeth Elliott talks about discerning the will of God.

31:10 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, how do I know I'm where I'm supposed to be? [SPEAKER_00]: How do I know I'm supposed to live here? [SPEAKER_00]: How do I know what job I'm supposed to do? [SPEAKER_00]: How do I know who I'm supposed to be with, et cetera, et cetera? [SPEAKER_00]: And she said it's really not complicated.

31:23 [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever you have to do that day. [SPEAKER_00]: that's your job. [SPEAKER_00]: That's where you're supposed to be. [SPEAKER_00]: That's what you're supposed to be doing. [SPEAKER_00]: And so I've been trying to remind myself of that when I get up, I'm like, okay, I know the work that I've been called to do today.

31:38 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what's going to happen in 10 years, 20 years, five years. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: But what I do know is that today my family needs supper. [SPEAKER_00]: I have some laundry that I need to catch up on. [SPEAKER_00]: My floors need to be mocked. [SPEAKER_00]: I've got a send a newsletter out, et cetera, et cetera.

31:54 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not a sexy answer. [SPEAKER_00]: People don't like it. [SPEAKER_00]: They want a bit flashy. [SPEAKER_02]: They wanted a full-done one-in-done amazing story. [SPEAKER_00]: Jump in the deep end, do that. [SPEAKER_00]: No, it's just, well, what have you, what have you have in front of you to do today?

32:09 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I also think that, but, but, okay, so at the same time that, [SPEAKER_02]: way of thinking also takes the pressure off. [SPEAKER_02]: People get really wrapped up in, is this what God wants for me? [SPEAKER_02]: Should I make this decision? [SPEAKER_02]: Should I move here? [SPEAKER_02]: Should I take this job?

32:26 [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, who am I to say? [SPEAKER_02]: But like, I think you can just proceed and then and then live your life in that next chapter. [SPEAKER_00]: That's that's exactly right and that's exactly what it leads with. [SPEAKER_02]: She's I don't think you're going to get a lightning bolt and I don't think God's up there like I really didn't want you to take that job.

32:50 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_02]: That's just me. [SPEAKER_00]: She always talks about just do the next thing. [SPEAKER_02]: Just do the next thing. [SPEAKER_02]: You can't see 20 steps ahead anyway, right? [SPEAKER_00]: You know, if our trips sell, then we're going back. [SPEAKER_00]: And if they sell again, then we're going back for how long I don't know, we'll say, you know, it's just the next thing, just letting the next thing unfold as it should.

33:19 [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't they think there's a lot of peace with that you don't you don't need to make these big crazy huge decisions, you just need to be faithful and doing the things that are in front of you and let it unfold. [SPEAKER_00]: Let the next thing unfold. [SPEAKER_02]: All right, well, on that note, one more comment.

33:41 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, making Mommy says, I feel this one deeply. [SPEAKER_02]: My oldest is graduating this year and in five years, all my kids will be done with school. [SPEAKER_02]: We live in a rural area as well. [SPEAKER_02]: So kids have to move away to receive secondary education. [SPEAKER_02]: I do feel it's a midlife crisis in a way.

33:58 [SPEAKER_02]: Not just not sure who I am. [SPEAKER_02]: What I'm supposed to do next or even where to live next, what a weird and painful stage that I don't ever recall hearing our parents talk about. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think we're more like vocally introspective, you know, these days, you know, I think there was a, I don't know, call it stoicism or, um, [SPEAKER_02]: Almost feels Victorian in a way like you just there were just things you didn't entertain you just in indulge and you just moved forward you just did the next thing exactly exactly We can get a little belly button gacy which is never good and the reality is [SPEAKER_00]: What really can we do?

34:57 [SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, we just don't know that's why I don't think getting like, oh, like, oh, I God feel like God's telling me to become a secretary. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_02]: That just sounds weird to me. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and I think you just do your life and you honor him whatever that thing.

35:12 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just the next thing. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but if it's like if you're just that in your naval gazing, oh, should I? [SPEAKER_00]: Should I move to Italy? [SPEAKER_00]: Should I do this? [SPEAKER_00]: Should I do that? [SPEAKER_00]: But you're not mopping your floors or doing your laundry or making dinner.

35:23 [SPEAKER_00]: The answer is no. [SPEAKER_02]: You should not be doing that. [SPEAKER_00]: What you should be doing is helping your kid with their math homework. [SPEAKER_00]: Sure, sure. [SPEAKER_00]: We know that to be true. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, we're going to switch gears. [SPEAKER_02]: Should we take a break?

35:38 [SPEAKER_02]: Or how do we do that these days? [SPEAKER_02]: Do we not break? [SPEAKER_02]: Just do magic leap put it in there for if that's not worry about it. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: All right. [SPEAKER_00]: Homemakers and less you live in some magic world. [SPEAKER_00]: My guess is that you have to clean your home often.

35:54 [SPEAKER_00]: So here's my question. [SPEAKER_00]: What are you cleaning it with? [SPEAKER_00]: Is it something that could potentially be causing harm to those in your home? [SPEAKER_00]: is it toxic? [SPEAKER_00]: Is it one of those grocery store brands that claims to be clean but is anything but maybe it's time for a real change?

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38:10 [SPEAKER_02]: So I thought if we're looking at cozy, I do think the bedroom, our bedrooms at such a, like it's a busy time of year. [SPEAKER_02]: Well, it's fourth quarter for those of us in, like retail and with the product to sell. [SPEAKER_02]: And I mean, for heaven's sake, Thanksgiving is in, I don't know, five and a half weeks, and then it's just all down here from there.

38:33 [SPEAKER_02]: I know it's crazy. [SPEAKER_00]: It's a little bit of a thought, so I can save it. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so I do think it's really important, you know, for me the way my life is and with the amount of kids and the size of the house, I just, it's never one and done. [SPEAKER_02]: I never just get to walk through it and go, this is my domain.

38:53 [SPEAKER_02]: Look how clean and lovely it is and cobweb free. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm in the Midwest. [SPEAKER_02]: It looks like a haunted mansion up in the air. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what's happening in the PNW, but here, every spider and its mother is trying to set up shop on every chandelier and every table leg.

39:11 [SPEAKER_02]: In-between spice jars, it doesn't matter, it's crazy. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, so I just don't think, I don't ever get that like moment and but something that's really important to me is that my bedroom is always tidy and the bed is made and it's, you know, it's not really the way I want it to look design wise and I think we need to maybe set that excuse aside, there should be like some sanctuary that we can turn to in our bedroom.

39:36 [SPEAKER_02]: This is a great time of year to make sure it's extra cozy. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, man, I did the disgusting thing today because I totally agree with you and it should be a sanctuary, but because my internet and because I had to set up work in here today, you defiled the bedroom, my bedroom. [SPEAKER_00]: I ate first off, I worked in it, which should not be allowed.

39:58 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm very, very cognizant to not do work in my bedroom, because I want my nervous system to know that this is [SPEAKER_00]: This is not a place for social media posts. [SPEAKER_00]: Nuss. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yes, yes, yes. [SPEAKER_00]: And here I am with my, I had to bring my like big computer down into my bedroom to be able to record this today.

40:24 [SPEAKER_00]: But then even grosser as I ate in here, which is also to me. [SPEAKER_00]: I know you eat in your bedroom all the time. [SPEAKER_00]: I do not. [SPEAKER_02]: Thanks, Shay. [SPEAKER_02]: Here's a bus, and I'm just gonna... [SPEAKER_00]: You're the one who told us the salsa and the more salsa.

40:38 [SPEAKER_02]: Do you like, I'm not allowed in my, no, no, no, my gosh. [SPEAKER_02]: On the weekends, like late at night, if like, you know, the guys pick a Joel and Julian pick a movie or whatever. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, oh, I get to just watch something that I will all eat ice cream or at that time, chips and salsa in my bed.

40:56 [SPEAKER_02]: I love it. [SPEAKER_00]: I know I can't. [SPEAKER_00]: I can't do it. [SPEAKER_00]: I can't do it. [SPEAKER_00]: I have, like, lattes? [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: T, of course, coffee. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yes, yes. [SPEAKER_00]: But note, like, we have, we are there's no food down here.

41:13 [SPEAKER_00]: There's never any food down here. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's going to be different for every person. [SPEAKER_00]: But what are the things that make it feel like a sanctuary to you? [SPEAKER_00]: To me, it's clean. [SPEAKER_00]: Because like you said, you know, if you have a family, especially a little bit of an older family, [SPEAKER_02]: When you were young, homemaker, and you tuck the baby in a bed like you do a clean queen with them down for a three hour nap and just go like Robo Tron on your house and they'd wake up and dinner would be in the oven and the candle would be lit and everything would be sparkling and you're just like, hi, amazing and you're like, you just don't like, I don't remember the last time I was amazing.

41:57 [SPEAKER_00]: can't be amazing. [SPEAKER_00]: They keep getting in my den way. [SPEAKER_02]: No, you're amazing. [SPEAKER_02]: And then they want to make brownies, urban and a bread or a smoothie on Instagram. [SPEAKER_00]: And it was like when you like a clean kitchen, but you have a teenage daughter.

42:14 [SPEAKER_00]: Sure. [SPEAKER_00]: And they feel so inspired by the clean kitchen and the clean towels and the yummy new flowers that they're like, [SPEAKER_02]: No, I mean, I don't want to like equate our beautiful children with a barnyard animal, but you've seen a pig when you toss down fresh bedding and a pigpan.

42:34 [SPEAKER_02]: They go, it's where they swear that's where we get the expression hog nutty, because they frolic and they're literally smiling and they are frolicing, rolling on their backs. [SPEAKER_02]: They are feeling their Cheerios and that is what your children do in a clean [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't want to say that my children aren't allowed in my bedroom.

43:01 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just saying, I don't really feel like I'm in here. [SPEAKER_02]: Don't they come in and flop on your bed? [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, make my bed and then people. [SPEAKER_00]: Large people. [SPEAKER_02]: Large people. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know about it. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know about it.

43:13 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And also, we only have one bathtub and it's mine. [SPEAKER_00]: And so they love to take baths, which that's just a spiritual exercise for me, because they use my beautiful towels. [SPEAKER_00]: They use my beautiful soap. [SPEAKER_00]: They move my plants around. [SPEAKER_00]: They close my curtains.

43:31 [SPEAKER_00]: They do mess with my stuff, but look, that's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: That's a, that's a heart problem for me to work on. [SPEAKER_00]: Of course, they have to be responsible and do their best to put it back, but it's they never put it back like I do, right? [SPEAKER_00]: It's just the way that it is.

43:46 [SPEAKER_02]: Do we have to move the plants? [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know where we have to do most of the things that we do, but I don't understand. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't understand either, but I've just, I've kind of, they have to be responsible and I demand that of them. [SPEAKER_00]: But at the same time, this, I also view this as like, this is my sanctuary to protect.

44:07 [SPEAKER_00]: So if I have to just, [SPEAKER_00]: dig the cow a lot of the wet bath tub and put out a fresh one. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I'm just going to have to do that. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm just going to have to do that. [SPEAKER_02]: So I think the trap. [SPEAKER_02]: I assume the trap with lots of homemakers is nobody sees the bedroom.

44:26 [SPEAKER_02]: So it doesn't matter. [SPEAKER_02]: It can take the beating. [SPEAKER_02]: It can hold the clean or dirty laundry. [SPEAKER_02]: It can be the one that doesn't have the made bed because nobody sees it. [SPEAKER_02]: And I think that's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: You know who sees it? [SPEAKER_02]: Is you're in relationship.

44:47 [SPEAKER_02]: you see in the world and you. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but this is, this is like where you're supposed to spend this pinnacle like the common moments. [SPEAKER_02]: Those other cozy moments. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, the ones where you know each other in the [SPEAKER_00]: That's a pretty important relationship.

45:18 [SPEAKER_02]: Sure. [SPEAKER_00]: You and I don't think that's an important relationship. [SPEAKER_00]: It's care about like that moment. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not saying they care, but that the bed is made or not. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm saying it does matter. [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, look, is it going to stop me if my legs aren't shaved?

45:34 [SPEAKER_00]: No. [SPEAKER_00]: Do I feel better if they are? [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [UNKNOWN]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: When I'm, when I'm showered in lotion and potion, things are better. [SPEAKER_00]: Just like when you have clean sheets, yeah, okay, if you have a dank bed.

45:55 [SPEAKER_02]: That's that is a great word for a ripe bed is dank. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I have two teenage boys. [SPEAKER_02]: They have. [SPEAKER_02]: I walk up to the boys' room and you open the door and it hits you like a wall. [SPEAKER_02]: Like are you just exhaling out of your mouth and farting? [SPEAKER_02]: And just like there's no that's it.

46:21 [SPEAKER_02]: That's all that's happening in this room. [SPEAKER_00]: Boys smell a lot. [SPEAKER_00]: Most boys smell a lot different. [SPEAKER_00]: Thank goodness. [SPEAKER_00]: They just do. [SPEAKER_02]: It's musky. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: So I think like you said though, when I've talked to a lot of people over the years about this because I feel quite passionately about this and the number one response is well, [SPEAKER_02]: we need to paint well it needs to be remodeled well i bedroom it's like a hotge podge disaster i fabric stapled up over drywall and then a whole wall of drywall drywall still showing like there has to be some pride though whether there needs to be worked on or not you know so what would you

47:02 [SPEAKER_00]: What would you do? [SPEAKER_00]: So I wrote a post on Substack last week about resetting your kitchen, like a 20 minute reset, okay? [SPEAKER_00]: Because the kitchen drives everything. [SPEAKER_00]: The bedroom's kind of the same way, I think for the homemaker's like spirit, if you're going through the house in your day and you come into your room and it's nice and tidy, you feel a certain way about it.

47:22 [SPEAKER_00]: All of a sudden you're like, it's okay, I can make dinner. [SPEAKER_00]: Look how tidy and lovely the room is, okay? [SPEAKER_00]: That doesn't mean it's designed exactly the way that you want it. [SPEAKER_00]: It means that you've taken care of it. [SPEAKER_00]: So the number one thing that I encourage people to do in their kitchens was to what I call remove the shrapnel, yes, just give yourself five minutes and just, okay, I need to take that bag of trash out, okay, that whatever guitar can go by the piano, like remove the shrapnel.

47:50 [SPEAKER_00]: Shrapnel is anything that doesn't belong there. [SPEAKER_00]: That doesn't have a home there. [SPEAKER_00]: Then it means it shouldn't be in there so that was like the number one thing and then the next thing was take out the trash literally just go through with the trash bag literally yeah yeah so would you go to the equivalent in the bedroom is well.

48:13 [SPEAKER_02]: If it's if your sheets are clean make the bed. [SPEAKER_02]: Make it and and and and then don't put anything on it nothing goes on my bed. [SPEAKER_02]: not a laundry basket temporarily, not nothing. [SPEAKER_02]: So make the bed, make sure there's no dirty socks on the floor. [SPEAKER_02]: I have a husband who leaves socks and shrapnel on his side of the bed.

48:43 [SPEAKER_02]: So I typically give a holler for him to do that because I'm not the maid. [SPEAKER_02]: And then all cups, because I am, I do like drink coffee, you know, on like Saturday morning, I'll have a cup coffee in bed and sometimes I'll forget to bring it down, so it'll be like a cup of coffee on my nightstand.

48:59 [SPEAKER_02]: So no dishes, no laundry, open up the drapes, let the sunlight in, throw up in a window, get the [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, just those things that you've listed, those take care of a lot of it if you just go through your room and gather up dirty laundry and scoop it up. [SPEAKER_00]: So I've created two habits for myself realizing how much the room impacts my spirit throughout the day.

49:33 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and it's not I'm not trying to put it on anybody else. [SPEAKER_00]: This is my responsibility. [SPEAKER_00]: It's my bedroom. [SPEAKER_00]: I make my bed without fail and it takes me less than 45 seconds, less than 45 seconds. [SPEAKER_00]: It is not a complicated ordeal, okay, and then I start a load of laundry.

49:57 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, this is something that takes about 45 seconds in the morning, okay. [SPEAKER_00]: And after noon, I put one load of laundry away, but I'm talking about like in the morning, I'm getting ready. [SPEAKER_00]: I dress myself. [SPEAKER_00]: I brush my teeth. [SPEAKER_00]: I make my bed and I do one load of laundry my laundry rooms on the bottom for next to my bedroom.

50:14 [SPEAKER_00]: Those two things, they keep it from feeling so bad. [SPEAKER_00]: They keep it from feeling so bad. [SPEAKER_00]: It feels bad when you walk into your bedroom and you have six loads of dirty laundry piled around the laundry hamper. [SPEAKER_00]: That doesn't feel good. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's fully within your control.

50:36 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I mean, I really, I'm strict with myself if there's a blouse hanging over the back of a chair, I walk it over and I hang it up. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't like clothing where it shouldn't be especially in my bedroom. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's a good way to phrase it actually.

50:51 [SPEAKER_00]: You kind of have to be a little strict with yourself. [SPEAKER_02]: Well, yeah, it's we did a whole season when we first started the show called it doesn't just happen. [SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't just happen and you know, I think habit stacking with the was a great technique for anything, but especially in the bedroom, okay, like you're you're getting dressed.

51:14 [SPEAKER_02]: So at that moment, if you're wearing pajamas or a robe or whatever and it falls to the ground, that's where you just bend over and pick up whatever else needs to get picked up, you're doing it anyways, right, you know. [SPEAKER_02]: I get out of bed and I will literally like just with my eyes, even if Joel is still sleeping, I will tug my side of the covers up just so they're straightened and ready to be folded back for when I circle back around and come upstairs and make my bed.

51:43 [SPEAKER_02]: sometimes we get up at the same time sometimes we don't. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm up early early to work out. [SPEAKER_02]: He's not up that early. [SPEAKER_02]: And so then, well, sometimes we'll talk about it in the night before, what's your morning like tomorrow? [SPEAKER_02]: What do you have planned?

51:55 [SPEAKER_02]: And I will just remind him. [SPEAKER_02]: I'll say, we just pull the covers up for me. [SPEAKER_02]: And then I'll go in and make the bed. [SPEAKER_02]: And I got that from my grandparents. [SPEAKER_02]: My grandma always got up so much earlier than grandpa, even though he was a farmer.

52:11 [SPEAKER_02]: which was such a gem, he made the bed because he was the last person out of it. [SPEAKER_02]: So I don't really love the way Joel makes the bed. [SPEAKER_02]: So I just say, well, you just pull the covers up for me. [SPEAKER_02]: Same. [SPEAKER_02]: Sorry. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not neurotic.

52:23 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, not a control freak. [SPEAKER_02]: Not me. [SPEAKER_00]: Well, there are all the things. [SPEAKER_00]: There are those things that where you can just say, look, I'm going to take ownership of this. [SPEAKER_00]: My Stuart loves clean sheets. [SPEAKER_00]: He loves the made bed.

52:38 [SPEAKER_00]: He loves a tidy bedroom. [SPEAKER_00]: His version of that is slightly different than mine. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, fine. [SPEAKER_00]: That is gracious way of putting it, Shay. [SPEAKER_00]: If I want it, if I want a vibe, man, I gotta make it, like that's on me to do that. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's actually, look, that's actually like a sweet relief.

53:00 [SPEAKER_00]: We don't know where we're going to be in 20 years, but I'll tell you what. [SPEAKER_00]: I know how like my bed made. [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to do that, sure. [SPEAKER_00]: Right. [SPEAKER_00]: This is a solid. [SPEAKER_00]: This one. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: For sure.

53:11 [SPEAKER_00]: Exactly. [SPEAKER_00]: And it is one of the places that yes, your kids are going to find their way into, especially those of you have like little nursing babies and have a little bass in it and all the diapers and all that jazz. [SPEAKER_00]: That's all part of it. [SPEAKER_00]: But this is the one room of your house where they don't like live.

53:30 [SPEAKER_00]: They don't habitually live in. [SPEAKER_00]: And so I can abide a messy living room. [SPEAKER_00]: You should see my living room right now. [SPEAKER_00]: It's our only room. [SPEAKER_00]: It's our only room for people to just hang out and throw down. [SPEAKER_00]: We've been watching all kinds of soccer matches.

53:49 [SPEAKER_00]: And so there's like tortilla chips just crushed into carpets and stuff, because we had the neighbor kids over to watch. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, it was a hoot. [SPEAKER_00]: But my point is if I go tidy that room, which I will, all vacuum, I'll dust, I'll polish, all whatever 15 minutes later, they're going to pull the table over so they can play D&D, closer to the couch.

54:12 [SPEAKER_02]: My gosh, the moving of the coffee table. [SPEAKER_02]: that is something that will be very different after they leave the house furniture will stay where I've put it. [SPEAKER_00]: What are those things you don't think about when you have babies? [SPEAKER_00]: You're like someday every single time I walk into this room the coffee table is going to be pulled against the couch and the pillows are going to be all as skew and yeah yeah.

54:39 [SPEAKER_02]: No that's a totally different thing and that's the point. [SPEAKER_00]: The point is that every time I walk into the kitchen there's going to be [SPEAKER_00]: Every time I walk into the dining room, there's pencils and paper and books and open cabinets, every time I walk into the bathroom, there's towels on the floor, there's stuff in the toilet, weird things are not just me, Harry, my family is really good about flushing the toilet, praise the [SPEAKER_00]: We don't need more so much.

55:09 [SPEAKER_00]: But the washcloth's cloth. [SPEAKER_02]: I will do like I love to do a towel load. [SPEAKER_02]: I love it and I fold them all. [SPEAKER_02]: And I put them all with the rough edges on one side. [SPEAKER_02]: And everything's perfect. [SPEAKER_02]: And I just line up the cabinet like it's a hotel.

55:24 [SPEAKER_02]: I will come in to our slater. [SPEAKER_02]: There will be six used washcloths. [SPEAKER_02]: Use towels. [SPEAKER_02]: Sopping. [SPEAKER_02]: I have to redo. [SPEAKER_02]: You know that cute like bathroom sink thing I made based on our New Orleans place we rented. [SPEAKER_02]: Well, they've set so many saggy washclots in front of the sink that the wood is completely wrought in and we have to do like a full makeover on this top that was water-proofed Yeah, it's amazing the response to clean Clean towels and washclots.

55:55 [SPEAKER_00]: That's amazing, but you know what we feel the same way when we get into like a bed with clean sheets Yeah, you feel good [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what was going on in France. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't really like their laundry detergent. [SPEAKER_02]: I think for how anti-chemical, though that country is in many ways like with their food, [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I know there were a perfume and everything like that, but they're so anti-chemical, they're laundry detergent, detergent is so stinky and gross.

56:28 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what happened this time around. [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe it's just me, but I felt like the hotel and the villa's bedding was sublime. [SPEAKER_02]: I just, I don't know, maybe I was really feeling French this time. [SPEAKER_02]: I tell you, that was just feeling it. [SPEAKER_02]: Every time I got in my hotel bed or my bed at the villa, I just like just became one with it.

56:51 [SPEAKER_02]: And it just felt so good. [SPEAKER_02]: And sublime is the only word I can describe. [SPEAKER_02]: The sheets felt good and crisp. [SPEAKER_02]: I knew they hadn't been pressed, but they felt like they had been pressed. [SPEAKER_02]: It was [SPEAKER_02]: Please, please, please, please, please, please, let me come home to clean sheets because I think I'll die.

57:14 [SPEAKER_02]: If like you said, if I have to crawl into a dank bed, after 24 hours of travel, it might kill me. [SPEAKER_02]: He did. [SPEAKER_02]: So, mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, we feel the same way like we respond to our environments. [SPEAKER_00]: So after all that, after you undanked it, you undanked it and you made it, you made the best of what you have with what you could where you are.

57:51 [SPEAKER_00]: That's all anybody can ask. [SPEAKER_00]: And you know, I'm sorry. [SPEAKER_00]: Go ahead. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: I was just to say once you've done that, [SPEAKER_00]: beautiful sheets from American Blossom like him into the beautiful fabric spray or you know i'm actually wearing salt by Sammy wearing the protector than the cologne from wearing that because I love it it's such a mask.

58:20 [SPEAKER_02]: I gave it to Aiden. [SPEAKER_02]: I think it smells so good. [SPEAKER_02]: I like a more masculine fragrance. [SPEAKER_02]: Anyways, I'm like, oh, I could wear this. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I do wear it. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm wearing it right now. [SPEAKER_00]: I know it sounds like I'm plugging all these sponsors, but it's because I actually use all this stuff.

58:34 [SPEAKER_00]: I have their candles. [SPEAKER_00]: I have their red diffuser in my little [SPEAKER_00]: toilet room because that smells nicer. [SPEAKER_00]: I have my little tubes towel by my bed. [SPEAKER_00]: So I just like I can lab give yourself little gifts. [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever those are for you, give them to yourself.

58:49 [SPEAKER_00]: Set your room up so that when you come into it. [SPEAKER_00]: There can be a piece of it that just feels like you know what, this is for me, this is recharging, this is something beautiful, this is something I have to look forward to, like give yourself something to delight in, you know, a beautiful stack of books by your bedside table, a plant, whatever.

59:11 [SPEAKER_00]: something. [SPEAKER_02]: No, that's a great. [SPEAKER_02]: Just as we're wrapping this up, that's I think a lot of times the focus is on the morning routine with the bedroom. [SPEAKER_02]: And I think like don't leave out closing out the day. [SPEAKER_02]: What this is like where we can really shine as homemakers.

59:29 [SPEAKER_02]: What's our evening bedtime routine? [SPEAKER_02]: Are we lighting a candle? [SPEAKER_02]: Are we switching the rods and our red diffuser? [SPEAKER_02]: Are we pulling back the sheets? [SPEAKER_02]: Do we have a stock of like yummy coffee table books by the bedside like do we have music we've battery operated candles?

59:46 [SPEAKER_02]: What are we doing to make the Why do the thumbs down on your screen? [SPEAKER_02]: Did you see that? [SPEAKER_00]: My cat just came in with a bird [SPEAKER_02]: And did you see the thumbs down happen to the screen? [SPEAKER_00]: The cat's meowing us like, oh no, please don't be a rat. [SPEAKER_02]: It in your bedroom.

1:00:05 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, dear. [SPEAKER_00]: How dare you torture? [SPEAKER_01]: This is life. [SPEAKER_01]: This is what happened. [SPEAKER_01]: But yes, to all you are saying. [SPEAKER_02]: I need to distract. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so you're going to wash your sheets, you're going to take care of all your laundry switch out if you got a burned out light bulb switch it out or get you know what I spots what I don't know if you can see it's probably not I got this little little light it like plugs in charges.

1:00:39 [SPEAKER_00]: you a little USB. [SPEAKER_00]: It plays music because our big Bluetooth speakers in our kitchen, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: This way, don't have to bring it down. [SPEAKER_00]: It plays music from my phone. [SPEAKER_00]: And it, you can just change the color so I can make like blue light or yellow light or red light.

1:00:51 [SPEAKER_00]: And it can just be like this glowy, lovely, sexy lighting. [SPEAKER_00]: And it's just this little electric lamp that I can move around with me from place to place. [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's really lovely. [SPEAKER_00]: Plus something we'll look forward to. [SPEAKER_02]: So I think making our bedrooms cozy is one small act of home making that makes everyday life better.

1:01:13 [SPEAKER_00]: So there's your assignment. [SPEAKER_00]: There you go. [SPEAKER_02]: Pick up all the socks. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, and let us know how you're doing it over in the comments. [SPEAKER_00]: You guys, when you share the podcast, when you leave a review, or you leave a comment, it helps us so much.

1:01:26 [SPEAKER_00]: So thank you for that. [SPEAKER_00]: And do let us know because I'd love to read some of your suggestions next week's episode. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, ladies, thanks for being here. [SPEAKER_00]: We'll see you next week. [SPEAKER_00]: Cheers!