Cozy with Our Kids: Creating A Home Where They Feel Safe & Loved | Season 30

0:04 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to HomeMakerSheet Podcast. [SPEAKER_00]: We're rescuing the art of homemaking from the daily grind red lips, no denim jumpers. [SPEAKER_00]: This is season 30. [SPEAKER_00]: And we are making it cozy. [SPEAKER_00]: Are you cozy today? [SPEAKER_00]: Sure. [SPEAKER_00]: It is so dark and gloomy.

0:24 [SPEAKER_00]: That does feel a little bit cozy here, but not in the good way in the kind of like, oh, winter really is coming way. [SPEAKER_02]: There's different types of cozy. [SPEAKER_00]: Different types of cozy for sure. [SPEAKER_00]: I had serious cozy the last 36 hours so because the kids and I went camping.

0:44 [SPEAKER_00]: So fun. [SPEAKER_00]: That's what we're going to camp here. [SPEAKER_00]: We just sat. [SPEAKER_00]: They rode bikes and you know explored paths and went, you know went through the forest to the lake and we sat around the campfire. [SPEAKER_00]: We were in a yurt, which is super cool. [SPEAKER_00]: And we just hung out last night.

1:03 [SPEAKER_00]: We probably don't like 400 trivia questions. [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody gets to pick their subject and show off. [SPEAKER_00]: And then we pick ones that like, nobody's really good at, you know, just general or whatever. [SPEAKER_00]: So that was terribly fun. [SPEAKER_02]: That is fun. [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.

1:19 [SPEAKER_01]: That's good. [SPEAKER_02]: Don't ever pick me to join your trivia team. [SPEAKER_02]: I know you take this very seriously. [SPEAKER_02]: I do. [SPEAKER_02]: I do need you to know. [SPEAKER_02]: I take, just let me be trivia. [SPEAKER_02]: She's she's she's she's over there. [SPEAKER_00]: Don't scab.

1:37 [SPEAKER_00]: I do take trivia like wicked. [SPEAKER_00]: Serious. [SPEAKER_00]: It's terrible. [SPEAKER_00]: I love it. [SPEAKER_02]: One. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes. [SPEAKER_02]: Good. [SPEAKER_02]: You've got to find things that bring you joy in life. [SPEAKER_00]: I like it because my kids, I mean, I like it that they like it.

1:52 [SPEAKER_00]: So if we bust them out, like bust out questions, like, you know, two thirds of the way through dinner or something or like last night around the campfire, they're not going, oh, mom, you know, they like it. [SPEAKER_02]: So can you give me an example of a trivia question that you could get right?

2:10 [SPEAKER_02]: Can you think of one, every set one? [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I had you do the royal family, [SPEAKER_00]: Well, that's just not everybody gets to do there. [SPEAKER_00]: So like the boys did minecraft and I could not believe the nerd facts That they know about minecraft like the composer of the music who designed it what your certain things were released blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

2:44 [SPEAKER_00]: murder, a murder, like stuff like that. [SPEAKER_00]: And there's one that's one that's even weirder like a, is it a flock of ravens or there's one that's like even more niche down and it's like a, yes, a kindness or something bizarre like that, like really weird. [SPEAKER_00]: What's the owl one?

3:02 [SPEAKER_02]: The owl one is super weird too. [SPEAKER_00]: Huh, I don't know. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but yeah, I don't know. [SPEAKER_02]: We have fun. [SPEAKER_02]: Whatever, whatever we're supposed to do to make that happen to our brains. [SPEAKER_02]: Mon, don't, don't, don't did it. [UNKNOWN]: Ha ha ha ha.

3:17 [SPEAKER_00]: But like, I like, like, I was like the nerd kid that like, I lived for Jeopardy, at 430. [SPEAKER_00]: Live for it. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, okay. [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, my grandpa lived for a journey. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, my grandpa shot it off. [SPEAKER_02]: I can't even watch this. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm pretty together.

3:33 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I still watch it when I go see my grandma. [SPEAKER_00]: She thinks I'm like the smartest person for miles. [SPEAKER_00]: Because I have to do as get like six or seven right during the show. [SPEAKER_00]: And she's like, how do you know that? [SPEAKER_00]: And when I was visiting her last April like at the final jeopardy question, right?

3:50 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think I woke up the whole nursing home because I stood up like, yes, like I was none of the contestants got it right. [SPEAKER_00]: I was freaking out. [SPEAKER_00]: I think I told that story in the show before, but I freaked out. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't think so. [SPEAKER_02]: What was the question, do you remember?

4:05 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't remember how the question was or the how the answer was. [SPEAKER_00]: phrased but it had to do with like I can't remember like how to phrase the question because you know you have to give the answer on jeopardy as a question as a question is right so it was like this is I'm gonna get this wrong this is a this is a popular drink [SPEAKER_00]: and island and a clandestine world war two project.

4:36 [SPEAKER_00]: And I jumped up. [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, man, man, man, hi, and what is Manhattan? [SPEAKER_00]: I freaking freaked out. [SPEAKER_00]: I freaked out. [SPEAKER_00]: That's my claim to fame. [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, I got a final joke pretty question, right? [SPEAKER_00]: And my grandma's nursing home living room.

4:52 [SPEAKER_02]: Listen, dare to dream, everybody. [SPEAKER_02]: Dare to dream. [SPEAKER_02]: Great. [SPEAKER_02]: You put a good week then. [SPEAKER_00]: You've got a good time. [SPEAKER_00]: You've got a good time. [SPEAKER_00]: You've got a good stuff. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: It's great. [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I just fell home.

5:07 [SPEAKER_00]: But I've been home like 10 days now or something like that. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: I still don't even want to talk about being home. [SPEAKER_02]: I can't find my eye shadow. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, do you go through that face like after you, after you unpack?

5:18 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm really good about like immediately unpacking. [SPEAKER_00]: But then there's always that something over the first two weeks of being home where [SPEAKER_00]: Do you know what I'm like a little liner or what have you? [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I have this gorgeous eyeshadow compact and one color is like my go to color and I've kind of just been putting it off the last few times I've reached for it over the last week or so I have one.

5:47 [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, where is that? [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, whatever, whatever. [SPEAKER_00]: Just wear something else. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't really like my other ones. [SPEAKER_00]: And today, [SPEAKER_00]: It's just under my skin. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know where it is. [SPEAKER_00]: Everything is unpacked this weekend.

5:59 [SPEAKER_00]: I did, you know, I talk on the show about I'll like every nine weeks or whatever. [SPEAKER_00]: I just detail my closet. [SPEAKER_00]: I did that last weekend, like, wah, for the season. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not in there. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know where this, I should have come back to this.

6:13 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: that's frustrating. [SPEAKER_00]: It is. [SPEAKER_00]: I hate losing stuff. [SPEAKER_00]: So do I. I don't do well. [SPEAKER_02]: I kind of especially like as the homemaker right soon like we get all into the home economy and we're like it really proud of ourselves. [SPEAKER_02]: Oh we pick out this color specifically for this thing and you know there's a lot of effort and money.

6:31 [SPEAKER_02]: My not goes into us building up these little right bubbles around us of clothes that we fit into. [SPEAKER_00]: Hmm, shampoo that we like. [SPEAKER_00]: Sure. [SPEAKER_00]: So when you buy one, I shout a compact every 36 months, like you don't want to lose it. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I want to lose it.

6:46 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you don't want to lose it. [SPEAKER_02]: It's like when you buy a beautiful soap and then somebody comes in. [SPEAKER_02]: uses it in three days and you're like what leaves it and it smells good of goober yeah exactly well we are keeping it cozy this season and we thought let's talk about our children and we're going to see nice or let's see nice things about them [SPEAKER_02]: Not about how they use too much, so or take things that don't belong to them, well, that might happen naturally, but we're going to talk about nice things.

7:20 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, good good things. [SPEAKER_00]: Should we go through comments? [SPEAKER_00]: Should we start with comments? [SPEAKER_00]: Sure. [SPEAKER_00]: Sure. [SPEAKER_00]: Sure. [SPEAKER_00]: Sure. [SPEAKER_00]: Sure. [SPEAKER_02]: his the season for tucking into a gorgeous bed dressed with American blossom linens.

7:33 [SPEAKER_02]: This amazing brand brings crisp, soft and luxurious cotton sheets to us that will give you a great night's sleep keeping you cool in the summer and warm in the winter and the joy doesn't stop there. [SPEAKER_02]: As you're layering your bed, your couches and cozy chairs this season or gift giving for a friend, be sure to check out their herringbone weave cotton blankets.

7:54 [SPEAKER_02]: Knitted baby blankets, oh my gosh, they're so cute. [SPEAKER_02]: News, she patterns, duvet covers, pillows, and Chevron, soft wool, throw blankets. [SPEAKER_02]: Use code, homemaker, 20, 26, and enjoy a 15% discount from American Blossom Lennon. [SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes making the switch to natural ingredients is a big sacrifice.

8:13 [SPEAKER_02]: And sometimes it is a big upgrade. [SPEAKER_02]: Tupes and co is a natural skincare and makeup company that makes saying yes to these non-toxic products easy. [SPEAKER_02]: Take a peek at their foundation, it's clean, it doubles the skin care, it's safe for your hormone health, and it wears beautifully.

8:29 [SPEAKER_02]: In fact, women love it so much that alongside the frankincense balm and their repairative serum, it's one of their most popular products ever. [SPEAKER_02]: But tube sign of products doesn't stop there, big cover, body scrubs, body oils, lipsticks, mascara, face primer, eye shadows, tinted lip balms, and more.

8:46 [SPEAKER_02]: So not only can your skin absolutely glow this season, but it can actually be free from harmful chemicals and hormone disruptors. [SPEAKER_02]: As you fill stockings, as you prepare a small little gifts for your friends or you're stocking up your own bathroom and make up bag at home, you can shop tupses luxury natural skincare at tubesinko.com forward slash HMC that special link [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let's see here, here's one from Madison.

9:19 [SPEAKER_02]: This is all of these are from last week's episode. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, to catch up, gone Spotify. [SPEAKER_02]: I totally did the potty training for chocolate chips too. [SPEAKER_02]: I knew this episode. [SPEAKER_02]: I have four month old twins and it was time to cozy up the bedroom. [SPEAKER_02]: I knew this episode.

9:37 [SPEAKER_02]: What does she mean? [SPEAKER_02]: She mean, I love this episode. [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, she was feeling it. [SPEAKER_02]: She was, she was, she was like, oh, okay. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: And it was time to cozy up the bedroom after a lot of baby things strewn throughout.

9:48 [SPEAKER_02]: This was the inspo needed. [SPEAKER_02]: My favorite. [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, my favorite podcast. [SPEAKER_02]: Thanks, Madison. [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't actually read these before I pulled them up. [SPEAKER_02]: So I just reading what this is. [SPEAKER_02]: Foundation. [SPEAKER_00]: So she's referencing last weekend was cozy bedrooms.

10:02 [SPEAKER_00]: And I talked about the Spanish or Mexican movie like water for chocolate, how I did like potty for chocolate. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, the baby things in the bedroom. [SPEAKER_00]: Like I always had, you know, our bedroom in our old house was pretty good size. [SPEAKER_00]: I always had a baby swing in my bedroom.

10:17 [SPEAKER_00]: And then they're got that point where it just became [SPEAKER_00]: No, which I just couldn't stand one week of that. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like get it out of here. [SPEAKER_02]: Put it away till the next kid Yeah, I'll tell you what that I used to have this sweet little wicker baby boss and at next to my bed Just for like the first month of baby's life sweet sweet and the thought of it right now.

10:41 [SPEAKER_02]: It's like Like you may see me like I can't breathe like the thought of one of my little babies in there all bubbled up and sweet and like making those [SPEAKER_02]: little sucking noises. [SPEAKER_02]: When they're on their first. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, here's the comment from Kayla. [SPEAKER_02]: Kayla here, I'm currently 31 with a 9745 and two month old bless you Kayla.

11:09 [SPEAKER_02]: It's kind of already doing the thing I envisioned as a young adult mom and I get to make the home the way I like. [SPEAKER_02]: My starting point family of origin was not ideal and maybe that's why [SPEAKER_02]: But as for the old lady, me, I hope she's full of shenanigans. [SPEAKER_02]: The dream car is a little pick up truck of my own, and I'll be unstoppable.

11:29 [SPEAKER_02]: If my adult children worry, I'm doing it right. [SPEAKER_02]: Amen. [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah, it's great. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, so we were talking a little bit last week about holding a vision for our older selves. [SPEAKER_02]: And I actually got three personal messages on Instagram [SPEAKER_02]: women who were saying, yeah, that, that's what we've sort of been trying to articulate.

11:56 [SPEAKER_02]: It's when you know what you're building towards babies, a home, learning to cook, maybe taking a trip, those are maybe a little bit easier to see. [SPEAKER_02]: a valley and you're like, I'm not really sure, the chasm. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not really sure what this holds. [SPEAKER_02]: I think that's a common, a more common sentiment than we realized.

12:25 [SPEAKER_02]: So hold on to that little sweet vision of your family while you can. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, look, that's beautiful. [SPEAKER_02]: I love that. [SPEAKER_02]: I was telling the Angela, I was, I'm going to tell the story. [SPEAKER_02]: It was telling the Angela the phone earlier today. [SPEAKER_02]: One of my children is in a wild rebellion.

12:47 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know who she is anymore. [SPEAKER_02]: I came out into the kitchen today and this particular child who shall not be made just gone or drivers, let's see. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay? [SPEAKER_02]: And I come out to the kitchen and lo and behold, I see this bottle of, like, not even her. [SPEAKER_02]: She's chocolate syrup, like the bottom of the bottom of the bottom shell, food club.

13:15 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, generic chocolate syrup. [SPEAKER_02]: And I thought it was like for a science experiment for stew because [SPEAKER_02]: Who says, whose chocolate syrup is this? [SPEAKER_02]: Everyone's like, I have no idea where that came from. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, well, I didn't buy it. [SPEAKER_02]: So what the heck?

13:33 [SPEAKER_02]: Where did it come from? [SPEAKER_02]: We'll finally this child got out the shower and was like, well, you know, I had a craving for chocolate milk. [SPEAKER_02]: I knew he wouldn't want me to buy it. [SPEAKER_02]: So this was her grand rebellion was to go and buy this this chocolate syrup.

13:48 [SPEAKER_02]: And then I was like, I don't even know who you are anymore. [SPEAKER_02]: It's like what the sweet baby in a bassinet sounds quite lovely right about now. [SPEAKER_00]: one that if I come down under, she's like, at least I'm not doing drugs. [SPEAKER_00]: It would be worse. [SPEAKER_01]: Don't start coming.

14:14 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, man, different stages. [SPEAKER_02]: I actually love, I, it's too cringy for me to go back and listen to earlier episodes of the podcast. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, but I am sort of curious. [SPEAKER_02]: What sort of things did we say? [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know about it that almost seven years ago so like what were we thinking what did we think it was going to be like what did it you know what I don't know I don't know long time ago now yeah I think what was my oldest almost 15 [SPEAKER_00]: She's right.

15:01 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Hi, ladies. [SPEAKER_00]: Love the show. [SPEAKER_00]: It encourages me to keep a home. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm proud of and serve my family. [SPEAKER_00]: My bedroom could be tidier and I'd love advice on decluttering, organizing my husband's things. [SPEAKER_00]: He creates piles of clutter, which drives me nuts, but I'm unsure how to approach it.

15:16 [SPEAKER_00]: I think we need more storage, but plenty could be thrown away, too. [SPEAKER_00]: We both struggle to let go of things, but I declutter my own items occasionally. [SPEAKER_00]: All my husband says he'll get to it someday. [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for the advice and stay cozy. [SPEAKER_01]: You okay?

15:37 [SPEAKER_01]: Just buddy. [SPEAKER_02]: It's always like we're living a shared experience, right, everybody. [SPEAKER_00]: story. [SPEAKER_00]: Clup piles are tough because unfairly I think they're like their hours. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not fair. [SPEAKER_00]: But I don't think anyone else in the house is walking around going.

15:57 [SPEAKER_00]: Or what am I going to do about that? [SPEAKER_00]: One of her half broken whatever in the stray sock and the zip tie. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, like nobody else is holding that in their mind. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm assuming except mom. [SPEAKER_00]: So it's like mental, it becomes like mental piles of clutter because it is really like if it's meant to be, it's up to me.

16:22 [SPEAKER_00]: Kind of a thing. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think maybe I may be unfairly, but I do think that's true. [SPEAKER_02]: So MCB, I'll tell you, I have just over the years, I've realized, I want my room a certain way. [SPEAKER_02]: I want my home a certain way. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm certain things bother me that don't bother other people.

16:43 [SPEAKER_02]: And so I've just taken it on. [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I don't think, again, fair, it doesn't matter. [SPEAKER_02]: Um, if I'm cleaning my room and there's piles of clothes that are not mine, that need to be put, I just do it because otherwise it just kind of bugs me. [SPEAKER_02]: So I don't know if that's a good answer or not.

17:06 [SPEAKER_02]: But like also, there's certain things I've just realized, like, dude, he won't spend money on himself, and he wants to spend money on, like, clothes and things. [SPEAKER_02]: It's just never a priority for him. [SPEAKER_02]: And so when I see him and he's wearing, you know, ratty jeans, like, I just had to learn that's on me.

17:23 [SPEAKER_02]: If I buy him jeans, he's like super grateful. [SPEAKER_02]: Sure. [SPEAKER_02]: And he wears them, and he genuinely appreciates it. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, well, then that means I like that clothing clothing my husband is on me. [SPEAKER_02]: Is that fair? [SPEAKER_02]: What it doesn't matter?

17:39 [SPEAKER_02]: Like that's that's what we do. [SPEAKER_02]: That's just how we do it. [SPEAKER_02]: Right. [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, is that weird? [SPEAKER_00]: No, I mean, I'll do that because he's not going shopping. [SPEAKER_00]: He'll say, I need new clothes. [SPEAKER_00]: I hate my clothes. [SPEAKER_00]: I need new clothes.

17:54 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, nobody's stopping you. [SPEAKER_00]: And so finally, then when it hits a fever pitch, then I just come home with a pile. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: The good news is you're like, I look at you. [SPEAKER_02]: And I know what you look good in. [SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_02]: So I've got I've got I got an investment here here right where these exactly where these you look great in me right where you look great in this color you love that [SPEAKER_02]: I think this is kind of a give-and-take situation.

18:24 [SPEAKER_02]: Regardless, it might mean you clean up a little bit of extra. [SPEAKER_02]: That's not yours. [SPEAKER_02]: It might mean that you let things pile up in certain places that are there to pile up? [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: For sure, I have, like, little, um, choose your battle zones.

18:39 [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: There's certain things that I'm not doing that. [SPEAKER_00]: And there's other things where it's like, that is ruining my pipe. [SPEAKER_00]: And, um, remember that one podcast I shared with you, like, you're gonna have to go or whatever, the guy, he's like, got some real good words of wisdom on parenting.

18:55 [SPEAKER_00]: Can't remember what it's called. [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I see a minister, I'm all the time, but he did say something that I thought was really wise, and I took it. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not gonna get it, like spot on, but the just was, [SPEAKER_00]: you know it's it's great to call the kids to the carpet when needed or say hey we need to have a family meeting moms feeling a little bit taken advantage of even from the top down like we I'm here to serve but I'm not here to serve you know like and but he he had this point of like that [SPEAKER_00]: What's ticking you like what is maybe just shut up and do it today?

19:40 [SPEAKER_00]: Like what's going to cause more strife for the family today? [SPEAKER_00]: Like where are you at? [SPEAKER_00]: Where's your countenance? [SPEAKER_00]: Where's your heart? [SPEAKER_00]: Let's we would say the what's the posture of your heart today? [SPEAKER_00]: Like is do you need to just quietly take care of it today?

19:55 [SPEAKER_00]: And then in a couple weeks have the family meeting what's better? [SPEAKER_00]: Better to call the person and say this is not right. [SPEAKER_00]: XYZ, or is today the day you just quietly do it, and I think both are really, I don't think it's black and white, I don't think it's like all or nothing.

20:12 [SPEAKER_00]: I thought that was really good advice. [SPEAKER_02]: love that because that draws on wisdom, no, and you guys, yeah, that's the goal, right? [SPEAKER_02]: The goal isn't just some to do lists, some check things, some system that you follow. [SPEAKER_02]: The goal is to actually like grow and develop into this like sturdier, kinder, soft-hearted, wiser woman in your [SPEAKER_02]: And that means that you need to know when this kid is taking advantage of you and when they need to be like checked and their heart needs to be checked and into accountability and responsibility, et cetera, et cetera.

20:56 [SPEAKER_02]: And when it's just Friday afternoon and you want to vibe and nobody else's vibe and with you. [SPEAKER_02]: So you're just cleaning through the dining room on your own and making it happen. [SPEAKER_02]: Right. [SPEAKER_02]: Those are two very different things [SPEAKER_02]: wisdom. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, not everything is.

21:17 [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's like with kids, like not everything has to be turned into this disciplinary, you know, it's like you paste yourself. [SPEAKER_02]: Paste yourself. [SPEAKER_02]: You can't pick 12 things in your child that you would like to see differently. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: You can choose one.

21:37 [SPEAKER_02]: And you can and limit taking a hot minute and you can let that out, you know, let that out of a year and a half and then see where you are. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, it's not that's just not the way life works. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, that's a good one. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, um, here's one from, is this, okay, CC Lesta.

22:05 [SPEAKER_02]: She's just commiserating with you and had me at every spider and its mother. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm on a slab foundation house with a forest in my backyard Oh, and the spiders just waltz right it's been particularly bad this year with the mild winter we had. [SPEAKER_02]: I will say this. [SPEAKER_02]: I am anti poison.

22:22 [SPEAKER_02]: I am pro spider poison. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I spray my house with poison. [SPEAKER_00]: What is it? [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even know if I don't know but it works. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: It works because then if I find them, I, they're dead. [SPEAKER_02]: So I just spray it on the perimeter of the house.

22:44 [SPEAKER_02]: one time per year for when I spray the inside like, um, just along the edges because they have to like cross the boundary to die. [SPEAKER_02]: So I spray the edges of the rooms, the very edges like by the baseboards once per year. [SPEAKER_02]: And then when they cross it, they die. [SPEAKER_02]: For real?

23:02 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, it's poison, but it, I don't care because for me, whatever. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't want those things. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, it's been a really bad year. [SPEAKER_00]: I just went bonkers on my house the day, the morning, before we went camping, the morning we went camping. [SPEAKER_00]: I had the kids, I'm like, you got to finish school and then we will go check in that three.

23:24 [SPEAKER_00]: We can do this. [SPEAKER_00]: And I cleaned for like four hours, like a whackadoodle. [SPEAKER_00]: And it just felt so good. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I'm coming on to a clean house. [SPEAKER_00]: But, you know, sometimes like our screens like bump out their old and they don't stay in tight and it's just a spider parrot ice here.

23:40 [SPEAKER_00]: They just, they love it. [SPEAKER_00]: There's so many. [SPEAKER_00]: There was one in the popcorn bowl on the coffee table the other day. [SPEAKER_00]: It looked like a recluse. [SPEAKER_00]: It was disgusting. [SPEAKER_00]: It was huge. [SPEAKER_00]: No, I'll spray that. [SPEAKER_02]: I'll spray that.

23:57 [SPEAKER_00]: It just stays poisoning for that long. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I don't. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know, because it doesn't matter. [SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't matter to me. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, I will spray once per year. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I spray like the primators in closets and around May bath tub and all these things.

24:14 [SPEAKER_02]: And it's not a problem. [SPEAKER_02]: It's not a problem. [SPEAKER_02]: The only time it's a problem is when you know this little like round jumpy ones. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, all like hairy and kind of cute as cute as a spider could be because they live up. [SPEAKER_02]: They live like up here and I don't want to spray the poison up.

24:32 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so they never come down to cross the cross it. [SPEAKER_00]: Interesting. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I'm going to need to send the picture of that from the clean. [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, it's just home. [SPEAKER_02]: It's just good old home defense is what it's called okay home defense. [SPEAKER_00]: really.

24:46 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel kind of dumb now. [SPEAKER_00]: I've been suffering needlessly. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: Starting in like late July, August September, we get these. [SPEAKER_02]: I just called them dried. [SPEAKER_02]: They're dried. [SPEAKER_02]: They're just, yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: They're like trenches and they are always in like a towel that's left on the floor or your pajamas.

25:06 [SPEAKER_02]: And one time I was in bed, this was late at night watching a show on my laptop. [SPEAKER_02]: And one, these things are huge. [SPEAKER_02]: Are they like, we'll, are here. [SPEAKER_02]: They're like, yeah, they're like giant brownie, hairy wolf spider with the very long legs. [SPEAKER_00]: Or here, you can see their eyeballs.

25:23 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, and it ran across my keyboard, which was like this far from my- I threw my laptop. [SPEAKER_02]: I threw my black, it's off my bed, and I jumped and stood on the bed, stood on the bed, sleeping, the flick. [SPEAKER_02]: What? [SPEAKER_00]: Joel would have died. [SPEAKER_00]: If I did that, he would Loki have a heart attack.

25:46 [SPEAKER_00]: He would die right there. [SPEAKER_00]: See, I- [SPEAKER_00]: I would be too freaked to move like I would be like gingerly because you wouldn't want to lose it. [SPEAKER_02]: No, I mean, turns out in Firefly, you find out pretty fast when you would. [SPEAKER_02]: Fight Flider Freeze. [SPEAKER_02]: Did you find it?

26:03 [SPEAKER_02]: I'll bite you. [SPEAKER_02]: I will. [SPEAKER_02]: I will. [SPEAKER_02]: I will. [SPEAKER_02]: I will. [SPEAKER_02]: I will fight slash flee. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't. [SPEAKER_00]: Did you find it? [SPEAKER_00]: No. [SPEAKER_00]: No. [SPEAKER_00]: And so I slept on the couch.

26:15 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, not for me, none of that is for me. [SPEAKER_02]: Last week on the podcast, my cat brought a bird in the window. [SPEAKER_02]: Last night, I was enjoying this wonderful soccer match with Stewart and he brought a gigantic live rat into my house. [SPEAKER_02]: Shay, I don't think they make a spray for that.

26:38 [SPEAKER_02]: This thing was, I live by orchards and everybody who lives by an orchard knows [SPEAKER_02]: It's like rodents. [SPEAKER_02]: I guess it's like spiders in the forest or deer in the forest. [SPEAKER_02]: Orchards have rodents. [SPEAKER_02]: And I love my cats and they do a great job. [SPEAKER_02]: They bring them in.

26:56 [SPEAKER_02]: This one was not going to live. [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, it George was taking care of it. [SPEAKER_02]: But you know, gross. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, scroll wrong. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I love this. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm reading Grace Grimm here. [SPEAKER_00]: Grace Grimm. [SPEAKER_00]: So as I started tidying my bedroom as you discussed it.

27:19 [SPEAKER_00]: Satisfied, I turned to leave and Angela said, open the drapes. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, but I made a quick about face and open to the drapes. [SPEAKER_02]: Always open the drapes. [SPEAKER_02]: Always. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I remember going to my friend's house one time and she had just had a baby and she had like rearranged her house in a funky way where her bedroom [SPEAKER_02]: she had put this massive TV in her bedroom and it was blocking the window, mostly, okay.

27:49 [SPEAKER_02]: And so there was just like, it was kind of a ridge of daylight and you couldn't, so even then the drapes were open, which they typically weren't, because then you couldn't see the screen, right? [SPEAKER_02]: So like, she would keep the drapes closed and she had this big TV in front of her room.

28:01 [SPEAKER_02]: And I was just like, I can't breathe in here. [SPEAKER_02]: How do you breathe? [SPEAKER_02]: You gotta open that up. [SPEAKER_02]: No, no, no. [SPEAKER_02]: You've got that. [SPEAKER_02]: That's a fun choice wrong there. [SPEAKER_02]: You shift some things around. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Wait.

28:18 [SPEAKER_00]: You've got to read one more. [SPEAKER_00]: What? [SPEAKER_00]: Read Amy. [SPEAKER_02]: Your it's scrolled down a little past Stephanie's name you stored three days ago. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm sorry, I don't see her. [SPEAKER_02]: You'll have to read it. [SPEAKER_02]: God. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know why.

28:32 [UNKNOWN]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Shay, this we're gonna go one more time to linguistic convergence. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my goodness. [SPEAKER_00]: This is brilliant. [SPEAKER_00]: Shay, I have major linguistic convergence issues and have only met one other person with this. [SPEAKER_02]: Great.

28:50 [SPEAKER_01]: I lived in India for a while, and early on, I would blush and hope my roommates didn't think I was being horribly disrespectful. [SPEAKER_00]: It helped that they would make fun of Americans speaking Hindi, and asked if I wanted to drink tea by saying enough Southern accent. [SPEAKER_02]: What?

29:19 [SPEAKER_02]: I can't read that. [SPEAKER_00]: Kyle, oh, Chapeelo, I can't even read that. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes I listen to the Dave Ramsey show and plug my ears when colors say where they're from and I try to guess, she's a Henry Higgins of the Dave Ramsey show, oh my gosh.

29:36 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry, that is so funny. [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, Amy. [SPEAKER_02]: That would be a rough place to have that. [SPEAKER_02]: I'll tell you that. [SPEAKER_02]: That would be tough. [SPEAKER_02]: That would be tough. [SPEAKER_00]: It's me. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh, they got me. [SPEAKER_02]: Um, I'll tell you what.

29:56 [SPEAKER_02]: We are not alone ladies and I know we've beaten this horse, but I'm going to be it a little bit more because I have been watching a Callie if you're listening Callinas. [SPEAKER_02]: I have been watching so much soccer. [SPEAKER_02]: Apparently, I needed another hobby. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

30:11 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: And it goes beyond. [SPEAKER_02]: It's like all the peripheral things anyway. [SPEAKER_02]: All of these soccer players, they speak for five languages. [SPEAKER_00]: So I saw one walk into the cafeteria of the team the other day. [SPEAKER_02]: There was a new player and he walks up to him and he was like, hey, nice to meet you doesn't thought he was he just goes German French Spanish like what language would you like me to speak to you in?

30:36 [SPEAKER_02]: And when you hear these players because they play all over and most of them have done it during adolescence, right? [SPEAKER_02]: So they play for these clubs and they go around, oh five years in England, four years in France, blah, blah, right? [SPEAKER_02]: When they speak, their accent is this amazing [SPEAKER_02]: of you couldn't tell.

30:55 [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, we would call it like euro trash. [SPEAKER_02]: It's true. [SPEAKER_02]: What is it? [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_02]: It's kind of like a schmorgaspoor. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, languages. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: And it's amazing. [SPEAKER_00]: It's amazing. [SPEAKER_00]: I have an antique dealer friend in Paris.

31:12 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, [SPEAKER_00]: That makes sense because he, he obviously speaks French, but his mother was Italian. [SPEAKER_00]: He speaks fluent Italian, fluent Spanish, some German, fluent English, and obviously fluent French. [SPEAKER_00]: And his accent is like a mail-on. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's kind of weird.

31:31 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: Interesting. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: You just don't know. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: What is it? [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_01]: Hmm. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_01]: What it is. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, let's talk about getting cozy with our children.

31:48 [SPEAKER_02]: I want to start like high level, 30,000 feet. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, I've said this for so many years on the podcast, but to me, when I think about the art of home making and what the home maker, [SPEAKER_02]: is looking to cultivate in her home. [SPEAKER_02]: She is looking for cultivation of a space or her children.

32:15 [SPEAKER_02]: Our loved [SPEAKER_02]: and safe. [SPEAKER_02]: And nothing is cozier than when a child is loved and safe. [SPEAKER_02]: No amount of cozy foods and snacks foods that they like, no amount of rented DVDs. [SPEAKER_02]: Right? [SPEAKER_02]: There's all these things that can come along with the pressure of like being a good mom, right?

32:41 [SPEAKER_02]: Or things that we want to do for our kids physical things that we want to be able to provide [SPEAKER_02]: material stuff. [SPEAKER_02]: Nothing surpasses the beautiful feeling of a child feeling safe and loved. [SPEAKER_02]: So high pass in terms of just like tucking in and feeling cozy.

33:02 [SPEAKER_02]: I remember somebody told me when we were raising young kids like one of the greatest gifts that you can give to your children [SPEAKER_02]: Right, how is mom going to, is she going to yell at me? [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_02]: She's going to freak out. [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_02]: Um, that like volatility, like that, that volatility for a child is really damaging.

33:35 [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm not a child's ecologist, I'm not going to pretend to be okay. [SPEAKER_02]: But what I know is that when a child, when we know the feeling of a safe and loved home, [SPEAKER_01]: That should be the goal. [SPEAKER_01]: That should be the goal.

33:54 [SPEAKER_01]: I will say something. [SPEAKER_01]: As a child's like, oh, just a black child's like, my most modest with these headphones on. [SPEAKER_00]: It is a bold move to talk to your kids about that because it is really easy to think that you're projecting one thing and to their little tiny hearts and minds you're projecting another.

34:22 [SPEAKER_00]: Your blow up and volatility like interpretation is probably really different than your children's. [SPEAKER_00]: And I will just speak from experience, personal experience that, you know, just as an example, my kids, if I am if I have my RBF on, you know, they interpret at as they did something wrong.

34:50 [SPEAKER_02]: They did something wrong. [SPEAKER_00]: So I do think it's important to talk about it. [SPEAKER_00]: Because we have hormones in PMS and sometimes we slam things around and we can say all we want that we have created this loving environment where loving mothers, where good mothers, or trying hard, but our children can interpret things different than we would ever, ever, ever want them to.

35:18 [SPEAKER_02]: And the worst is that they bless them. [SPEAKER_02]: They'll take that on themselves. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes. [SPEAKER_02]: So earlier this week, I had a super frustrating day with work. [SPEAKER_02]: And side note, I accidentally went viral on Instagram and literally almost had death threats.

35:37 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, it gets quite wild. [SPEAKER_02]: The darkest story. [SPEAKER_02]: And this stupid thing, that's not the point. [SPEAKER_02]: The point is my phone was just like, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping. [SPEAKER_02]: And I wanted to just shut it off and not look at it. [SPEAKER_00]: But when people were saying the most God awful things you can imagine.

35:54 [SPEAKER_02]: So I had to because otherwise, I have a lot of young people who follow my page. [SPEAKER_02]: all those comments were public right yeah so I had to go in and hide them because of the language and the content so I for all of the day I just had to deal with all this stuff going in I'm I've got our BF I don't it's not even ours just it's just the BF okay [SPEAKER_02]: it totally weighed on them and they kept coming in and they kept trying to hug me and they wouldn't like one came in like rubbed my back while I was at the computer just like trying to click these comments away faster as faster than they were coming in and it was amazing like they felt the weight of it and I think you're absolutely right because what can happen in that situation

36:58 [SPEAKER_02]: church stuff, whatever it is, the way that we speak about it in our homes and the way that we deal with in our homes then becomes the way that they feel about that. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, no mom is an island. [SPEAKER_00]: You can think that you're keeping it, you know, you're just overdraft at the bank account or whatever, you know, but that's probably the 17th hit you took that day and it's just really easy to be like, what?

37:25 [SPEAKER_00]: Just a minute, I'm almost done, you know, just really, really easy. [SPEAKER_00]: I also tell my kids, I tell them that they are not responsible to help me get in a good mood. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, mom's mood is not your responsibility. [SPEAKER_00]: You can do kind of things like you can, like, junior will do the same thing.

37:45 [SPEAKER_00]: You'll come by and rub my shoulders or be like, would you like a coffee? [SPEAKER_00]: But like, I would rather want to make sure that you're doing that just to be serving and not like, I gotta fix mom. [SPEAKER_00]: right. [SPEAKER_02]: I can't handle her like this. [SPEAKER_02]: I want to get her on the right track.

38:00 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, that's tough stuff that you're not going to talk about. [SPEAKER_00]: I do think it's important because it's just easy to go the pillow. [SPEAKER_00]: I'll make a pie. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to make popcorn. [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to have fun. [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to do movie night.

38:14 [SPEAKER_00]: The pillows are fluffed. [SPEAKER_00]: The house has a candle on the counter. [SPEAKER_00]: We're coming in. [SPEAKER_00]: It's cozy now. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's those are deep rooted things. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so every once in a while, I get a little nugget off social media.

38:27 [SPEAKER_02]: That's really outful to me. [SPEAKER_02]: And like cooking pasta and water, sauce. [SPEAKER_02]: Sorry for me. [SPEAKER_02]: So, one thing I watched last week was actually kind of helpful. [SPEAKER_02]: They were talking to moms and he was saying, look, it's actually really helpful. [SPEAKER_02]: If you name your bad attitude, give it a stupid, whatever.

38:51 [SPEAKER_02]: He named his Greg and he's like, oh, when he comes in and he starts to, I'm like, Greg, get out of here. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: It's Friday afternoon. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm trying to figure out what's [SPEAKER_02]: You're not helping. [SPEAKER_02]: Like, like it's the separate kind of entity.

39:09 [SPEAKER_02]: Get out of your Greg. [SPEAKER_02]: Then he said, and I thought this was really helpful. [SPEAKER_02]: We create, as moms, we can create a lot. [SPEAKER_02]: We can expend a lot of energy, just run in our minds. [SPEAKER_02]: But what if he doesn't want to he shows him that, right? [SPEAKER_02]: We can just get ourselves all kinds of twirled up in there, which is [SPEAKER_02]: And he said, you know, one time he was all wadded up in his mind, and he said, it dawned on me, if I could waddle this up, if I could create essentially this kind of like living hell in my mind.

39:45 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: So the way that this works and like our home is like, it's work. [SPEAKER_02]: Work is stressful. [SPEAKER_02]: We're entrepreneurs. [SPEAKER_02]: It's hard. [SPEAKER_02]: We're middle class. [SPEAKER_02]: We're working middle class. [SPEAKER_02]: It's tough. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

39:57 [SPEAKER_02]: We're watered all up, watered all up, [SPEAKER_02]: If we can create that kind of like living mental hell of just being captive in your own thoughts and RBF and it's coming out your pores and you're taking it out on everybody else, can we use our minds to create the opposite to essentially create this like, [SPEAKER_02]: living beautiful, heaven on earth, peaceful, cozy, affectionate, situation as well.

40:31 [SPEAKER_02]: If our mind has the power to build this up, can it also harness that power and can we train it to build this up instead? [SPEAKER_02]: And I think that's super powerful for the homemaker because so much happens in our homes with our families, with our friends, with our communities that is outside of our control.

41:01 [SPEAKER_02]: you have a special space and you want to make it beautiful. [SPEAKER_02]: Some of the most powerful ways we transform our spaces is with light and scent and the gorgeous candles and fragrances from salt and light by Sammy will do just that. [SPEAKER_02]: What my gosh, you guys, I have their candles all over my bedroom.

41:17 [SPEAKER_02]: I cannot get enough of how thoughtful and refined the scent smell. [SPEAKER_02]: Sammy and Ben are on [SPEAKER_02]: to help you make your home less toxic. [SPEAKER_02]: This is a brand that you can trust to bring you clean, cozy, comfort this autumn with their gorgeous line of candles. [SPEAKER_02]: They're made from 100% coconut and beeswax.

41:39 [SPEAKER_02]: Have these beautiful woodwicks that sound gorgeous when the candle is being burned. [SPEAKER_02]: and they sent their candles with non-toxic fragrance oils and essential oils. [SPEAKER_02]: Each candle is hand-poured and burns for over 45 hours in their autumn line. [SPEAKER_02]: You can choose from sense like salted pumpkin butter, country pear, homestead, or my very personal favorite, cider and bourbon.

42:03 [SPEAKER_02]: Apple with the little spies, all about it. [SPEAKER_02]: It's gentle, it's moving. [SPEAKER_02]: It's the easiest way to transform your space into something magical this season. [SPEAKER_02]: You can shop salt and light by Sammy. [SPEAKER_02]: That's s-a-m-i.com. [SPEAKER_02]: And use the code homemaker chic for 10% off.

42:20 [SPEAKER_02]: They're gorgeous line of autumn candles at checkout homemakers. [SPEAKER_02]: Unless you live in some magic world, my guess is that you have to clean your home often. [SPEAKER_02]: So here's my question. [SPEAKER_02]: Is it something that could potentially be causing harm to those in your home?

42:36 [SPEAKER_02]: Is it toxic? [SPEAKER_02]: Is it one of those grocery store brands that claims to be clean? [SPEAKER_02]: But is anything but maybe it's time for a real change. [SPEAKER_02]: Branch basics is disrupting the cleaning space in a few really intentional ways, like fully disclosing all ingredients on their packaging, which is something that most conventional cleaning brands [SPEAKER_02]: still don't do.

42:56 [SPEAKER_02]: Everything is fragrance free and made with safe ingredients designed for every day use across your home. [SPEAKER_02]: It's safe for your babies, for your pets, for your hormones, for your skin, for you. [SPEAKER_02]: Their line of cleaners is built around one powerful. [SPEAKER_02]: plant and mineral-based concentrate, so you just take that concentrate, dilute it to different ratios for different cleaning needs.

43:18 [SPEAKER_02]: And here's the good news. [SPEAKER_02]: Branch Basics is now available everywhere you shop at Target, Amazon, and of course branchbasics.com. [SPEAKER_02]: For anyone grabbing the premium starter kit, you can get 15% off at branchbasics.com with our code, homemaker's cheek, all one word, and let them know you heard about Branch Basics right here [SPEAKER_02]: It's easy to make some popcorn and put on a movie and have those moments with your family and those are so important and do it, but also.

43:53 [SPEAKER_02]: I think our families will get a lot more traction if we can, if we can get our hearts in the right posture, our minds in the right posture, to be like, no, you know what things are, things are good, are things perfect? [SPEAKER_02]: No, they'll never be. [SPEAKER_02]: Are they excessive?

44:13 [SPEAKER_02]: Probably not. [SPEAKER_02]: They're probably very, very average. [SPEAKER_02]: They're probably super normal. [SPEAKER_00]: Does that track, it does, it does, one is reaction now. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's where we're so good at giving excuses. [SPEAKER_00]: XYZ happened, so I get to react this way.

44:29 [SPEAKER_00]: The other is discipline, the intentional, right? [SPEAKER_01]: You know, you're not just going to conjure up, you're not going to react and conjure up cozy in your mind. [SPEAKER_02]: the negative is way easier. [SPEAKER_02]: And also, we've had years of practice. [SPEAKER_01]: That nice.

45:00 [SPEAKER_02]: So I've realized in my adult years that I have a really hard time with money. [SPEAKER_02]: because we didn't really have money growing up. [SPEAKER_02]: We had what we needed. [SPEAKER_02]: But money was never like a positive thing. [SPEAKER_02]: I have mom, you might be listening. [SPEAKER_02]: I have like dug deep into the recesses of my mind.

45:21 [SPEAKER_02]: And I can't ever remember a positive correlation with it. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, it was always, is it payday, [SPEAKER_02]: Remember when they used to do layway, you know, my parents were super hard workers, but it took both of them working. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, just we carry these things into adulthood.

45:48 [SPEAKER_02]: And so for my mind, it takes a lot of work to think about money and just to be like, no, it's fine. [SPEAKER_02]: We have enough. [SPEAKER_02]: This is good. [SPEAKER_02]: I can think positive thoughts about this thing. [SPEAKER_02]: Because we, and I think that's true for a lot of people when it comes to raising children in childhood.

46:10 [SPEAKER_02]: In general, when we're talking about creating these environments for our children, that's actually kind of counter to what a lot of people experienced in their childhood. [SPEAKER_01]: So you're already swimming up upstream a little bit. [SPEAKER_00]: So what about, okay, like, let's go, we're coming down.

46:36 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, we were 30. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, we worked. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, we're coming down for the last few minutes. [SPEAKER_00]: What about like, what are some codes? [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I like to take my kids camping. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, what are some cozy things you guys do in your home?

46:47 [SPEAKER_00]: I know what we do here. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, what are some, like, this where you're sitting around as a mom and you're like, dang, they better remember this. [SPEAKER_00]: This is so precious. [SPEAKER_02]: there's so many things. [SPEAKER_02]: Meal time is the big one for us like sitting at the dinner table just chatting.

47:03 [SPEAKER_02]: One of my favorite moments is when everybody's doing their, I'm happy when everyone's like doing something that brings them joy. [SPEAKER_02]: So like Georgia will be listening to music and she'll be painting at her little place in the living room and my kids the boys will be like [SPEAKER_02]: And like Julie at the other day, she had found this injured mouse.

47:29 [SPEAKER_02]: We're back to the rodents. [SPEAKER_02]: She had like made it a little home, and she was speeding up on the chips. [SPEAKER_02]: And she was making dinner, and she was in an out-the-citch. [SPEAKER_02]: And what else does the mouse eat? [SPEAKER_02]: Like all the, like it was one of those beautiful moments where I was like, everybody is just safe and content and exploring and playing and resting in their own particular way.

47:52 [SPEAKER_02]: Like though that's a moment to me, that feels really good. [SPEAKER_02]: where they feel like they can kind of let down and be themselves? [SPEAKER_02]: Those are really special moments. [SPEAKER_02]: I will do a little plug. [SPEAKER_02]: We watched, we do like to do family movies. [SPEAKER_02]: So that's fun.

48:12 [SPEAKER_02]: We watched Nate Bargazs, we've told you about him on here before the stand-up came in. [SPEAKER_02]: He did a movie with Mandy Moore called the bread winner. [SPEAKER_02]: I just saw the, you know, the little, yes, Netflix or something the other day. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, choosing, you know, yeah.

48:28 [SPEAKER_02]: That I wouldn't say. [SPEAKER_02]: And that's a ceremony to say cheesy. [SPEAKER_02]: Like, I do still get a little bit fatigued about the, like, my husband is so stupid. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, like, I don't really love that. [SPEAKER_02]: And I don't love the angsty team.

48:41 [SPEAKER_02]: That's always there. [SPEAKER_02]: But on the whole, it was like a super clean, super enjoyable sweet little family movie to everybody, like laughed out loud. [SPEAKER_02]: So that was like moments like that are really fun. [SPEAKER_02]: I forced my kids to watch soccer with me now. [SPEAKER_02]: Let's, let's, here we go.

49:00 [SPEAKER_02]: Man City's plan Paris, let's go, let's go. [SPEAKER_00]: And what I love is you give you a family lexicon, what you would I have talked about. [SPEAKER_02]: So they'll be like, oh, this plan you're this and that. [SPEAKER_02]: So we kind of get to have a conversation. [SPEAKER_02]: Um, that's a fairly comforting thing to me.

49:16 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, what we're living in the same world for a little bit of time. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's so important. [SPEAKER_00]: It's harder to get because right on up to their respective corners and doing their things. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Right. [SPEAKER_02]: That's super valuable.

49:34 [SPEAKER_02]: We go to church as a family every single Sunday. [SPEAKER_02]: And I think that does more than probably any other thing that we do to be honest with you. [SPEAKER_02]: I think it it trains their souls and their hearts in a very particular way. [SPEAKER_02]: I teach them something about our family.

49:55 [SPEAKER_02]: Sure. [SPEAKER_02]: They're, and there's all that's predictable. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's predictable and important. [SPEAKER_00]: And then there's, you know, the dynamic of like the ride home. [SPEAKER_00]: Everyone's hungry. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, there's the dynamic of the drive going, which is usually a little bit in our house.

50:14 [SPEAKER_00]: And then the ride home, it's like, you know, somebody's playing DJ. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to listen to that one, play that one. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and like, are we going to go get lattes? [SPEAKER_00]: You know, just like just fun. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: It's true, and moms, and I'm speaking to myself, I think the more we can find a way to embrace this and stop trying to squeeze control out of it, better it is for everybody.

50:44 [SPEAKER_02]: The better it is for everybody. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, yeah, your teenagers are going to want to listen to certain music and they're going to have opinions about things and they're going to want snacks and they're going to be messy and like I don't know the more you try to like hyper control that as a parent I think the less comfortable it becomes for them to feel like they can express their thoughts and [SPEAKER_02]: be themselves and share and certain things and have opinions.

51:14 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, that is that, or all that, to the safety feeling too for a teenager. [SPEAKER_01]: I get to be here and be me, you know. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: I think that's what hurt me so bad about the chocolates, sir. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: Because I'm like, did she assume I wouldn't make it for her if she asked me?

51:38 [SPEAKER_02]: That's not good. [SPEAKER_02]: Why are we assuming that right then you're like, what am I in there? [SPEAKER_00]: Oh gosh, yeah, yeah, I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: Just happen this morning. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm still rocking. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, okay, okay. [SPEAKER_02]: We'll talk about it more.

51:53 [SPEAKER_02]: Would you get so? [SPEAKER_02]: Um, okay. [SPEAKER_02]: Let's okay. [SPEAKER_02]: Zoom. [SPEAKER_02]: Step down one final step down. [SPEAKER_02]: Here we are in October. [SPEAKER_02]: So what [SPEAKER_02]: What are some palpable ways that we can make things feel lovely? [SPEAKER_01]: cozy?

52:13 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: cozy and lovely are the same thing. [SPEAKER_00]: No. [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I didn't really make it lovely recently. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, for me, it's just, you know, in our house, it's about having things like on the [SPEAKER_00]: It's just, you know, there's like just a kind of a list of silly things in our house, must you bananas?

52:32 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you like to make banana bread? [SPEAKER_00]: Let's make banana bread at the drop of that. [SPEAKER_00]: Usually it's once the kitchen is spotless. [SPEAKER_02]: Of course. [SPEAKER_00]: Um, leaving a deck of uno cards out within reach at all times, you know, for her spontaneous uno games, um, make a top firewood chocolate big one for us.

52:49 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: We do fire as a lot. [SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_02]: It gives us something to kind of gather around. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, around the holidays, we definitely, we have certain movies that we like to watch and we have like, like, new, you know, funny, it's fun to laugh like hysterically as families.

53:08 [SPEAKER_00]: We kind of watch this. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I realized after the summer. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if this happens with anybody else's house, but I have two throw pillows in my entire house. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know where they are. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what happened to them, what they were used for, so everyone was sitting on the couchs the other day and it's kind of like, uncoffed your voice like, because there were nodes, or okalos, gosh, and I was like, I know buying things isn't always the solution, but when we can, it is really nice to actually have a physical cozy environment.

53:49 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like this to be either fuzzy blankets, big pillows, those, you know, they're even at like Costco, just big fuzzy fluffy nonsense blankets and everybody just feels good in on the couch and yeah, I wouldn't get your teenagers weird body pillows like they lay in weird positions, like on the tops of the couch is [SPEAKER_00]: You guys, teenagers are so amazing.

54:13 [SPEAKER_00]: They land the back like they're a cat. [SPEAKER_00]: And then they pile on top of each other. [SPEAKER_00]: They pile on top of each other. [SPEAKER_00]: Snuggle. [SPEAKER_00]: They're like, yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Just a strange creature. [SPEAKER_00]: Get away from me. [SPEAKER_00]: Are they're almost making out?

54:26 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, that's what it is. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, it's, I love washing their dynamics together. [SPEAKER_02]: But yeah, having, [SPEAKER_02]: physical space for them to be in and we talked about this in the bedroom last week like this is the room where you are going to be intimate this is the room where you are going to be paired back okay and I think your room should reflect what is going to happen in there yeah I'm going to rest I'm going to clear my mind I'm going to be physically [SPEAKER_02]: The same is true for like where is your where is your family going to hang out or or you know I know not everybody you're as kids at home okay I want to have a cozy fall I want to be able to have guests over I want to be able to have movie nights with my friends or have my parents over for dinner or whatever okay well where physically in your home are you going to do that.

55:29 [SPEAKER_02]: Right. [SPEAKER_02]: And is that space overtaken by something that doesn't need to be there that doesn't contribute to that goal? [SPEAKER_01]: Hmm. [SPEAKER_02]: Does that make sense? [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: Creating the environment. [SPEAKER_02]: We talked like, okay, the 30,000 foot view was creating the emotional environment and then creating a physical environment is where those emotions can actually exist and be together.

55:57 [SPEAKER_02]: Um, yeah, we would love your thoughts on this. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we would love these thoughts on this. [SPEAKER_02]: Um, these are special things. [SPEAKER_02]: What and make food? [SPEAKER_02]: How could I make food? [SPEAKER_02]: All the foods. [SPEAKER_02]: Um, I'm going to put a link down below.

56:11 [SPEAKER_02]: I just compiled my, uh, like top 20 most popular soups and stews recipes from the cooking community. [SPEAKER_02]: Right. [SPEAKER_02]: And so I made it into this wonderful beautiful ebook. [SPEAKER_02]: So you can just like, [SPEAKER_02]: download it immediately. [SPEAKER_02]: You don't have to become a member of the cooking community.

56:29 [SPEAKER_02]: You can just have it printed out. [SPEAKER_02]: It's like normal sized paper from your normal printer, viewers has ink. [SPEAKER_02]: My never does, but. [SPEAKER_02]: And that would be great for this season, too, because there is something where it's like gathering around a pot of soup is like gathering around a fire or a movie.

56:48 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a universally loved thing. [SPEAKER_02]: So I'll put the link for that in the show notes, but you guys should check that out. [SPEAKER_02]: And I would love to hear from you in the comments. [SPEAKER_02]: We'll read them next week. [SPEAKER_02]: What does it look like for your family, for your kids?

57:00 [SPEAKER_00]: It's perfect timing, because I have a new bra on from Paris. [SPEAKER_00]: And it's a front class, but has this beautiful class in the front, and it just popped open. [SPEAKER_00]: OK. [SPEAKER_00]: I could be reconnecting the bra. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what we're talking about. [SPEAKER_00]: Apparently I didn't do this beautiful class correctly because all of a sudden I was like, oh, I'm feeling really relaxed here.

57:19 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm cozy. [SPEAKER_00]: Pick. [SPEAKER_02]: That is true cozy. [SPEAKER_02]: Let's do it with cozy fashion for somebody where we talk about how we go. [SPEAKER_02]: We don't have to wear bras under sweatshirts and sweatshirts. [SPEAKER_00]: Sure, the love. [SPEAKER_00]: I did get a text message requesting that.

57:34 [SPEAKER_00]: So. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, come on, we have a fun one. [SPEAKER_02]: All right, ladies, thanks for joining us and we'll see you here next week. [SPEAKER_02]: By the way, thanks for all your sweet comments about the videos on Spotify. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I won't say they're seamless, but we're getting there slowly but surely.

57:49 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, we'll see you next week. [SPEAKER_00]: Cheers.