Bella Mackie - ‘I Will Never “Fix” My Mental Health’

Bella Mackie began her career as a journalist, writing for publications including the Guardian, Vice and Vogue, before writing her bestselling debut, Jog On. The book explored how running helped her rebuild her life after the end of her first marriage triggered debilitating anxiety and panic attacks.

She followed it with How To Kill Your Family, a darkly comic novel about a young woman methodically murdering her wealthy relatives. It spent 47 weeks on the Sunday Times bestseller list and is now being adapted for Netflix, starring Anya Taylor-Joy. Two more novels followed, including her latest, Claws Out - another bestseller, this time taking aim at the absurdities of North London’s liberal elite.

It’s a world Mackie knows well. She grew up in North London, the daughter of journalist and campaigner Lindsay Mackie and former Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger, and still lives there today with her husband, Radio 1 DJ Greg James.

In this episode we cover her OCD, how she feels she hasn’t ‘fixed’ her mental health - and perhaps never will, her ‘failure’ to leave home and what it’s like to be married to someone painfully level-headed.

This bonus episode is brought to you by @arlalactoFREE - all the taste, easier to digest.

IN THIS EPISODE

00:00 Intro

02:51 True Crime Origins

04:11 Rewriting Crime Tropes

07:17 Funny Draft Fail

10:37 Success Fuels Anxiety

14:57 Living With OCD

22:02 Childfree Choice Backlash

30:41 Cozy Season Sponsor Break

31:35 Failure to Launch Confession

32:15 Living Near Mum and Dad

33:48 Therapy Rejection and Detachment

34:43 Anxiety and Codependency Roots

37:31 Privilege Nepotism and Validation

39:26 Tony Blair as the Adult

44:01 Driving Cycling and Creative Life

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

Anyone else’s mental health is an island you can’t get to.

OCD is like Pokemon, you can catch them all.

Greg [my husband] lies down on me when I have an intrusive thought and does a chicken dance on me to make me laugh.

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

• Bella’s novel, Claws Out, is available to buy now: harpercollins.co.uk/products/claws-out-bella-m…

• Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

• Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

📚 WANT MORE?

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Caitlin Moran - swap.fm/l/CaitlinMoran

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