Chris Appleton - ‘I Felt Shame Before I Felt Love’

Celebrity hair stylist Chris Appleton has a slew of devoted clients including Kim Kardashian, Kris Jenner and Martha Stewart, as well as millions of Instagram followers and a regular slot offering advice on The Drew Barrymore Show. His memoir, Your Roots Don’t Define You, is a New York Times bestseller.

But growing up was hard on Appleton: he was the middle of five children and struggled with undiagnosed dyslexia at school. He was bullied by his classmates for being gay - something he didn’t yet understand about himself. At 16, he left school to work full-time and began a serious relationship with his colleague, Kate. By 19, he was a father.

In this episode we discuss imposter syndrome, the darkest moments of his life, shame and the work he’s done to overcome the hurdles he’s faced. And, of course, we talk about the Kardashians.

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

02:33 Imposter Syndrome as Fuel

04:24 Red Carpets and Online Pressure

05:27 Hair as Celebrity Identity

07:15 Memoir and Health Wake Up

08:48 Dash the Dog and Comfort

11:02 Shame Coming Out and Healing

22:26 Kids First After Divorce

23:05 Holiday Triggers and Boundaries

24:31 Success Doesn't Heal

25:18 Inner Child Healing Work

27:22 Envy Into Mentorship

30:08 Kardashians on Failure

31:25 Hair Identity and Change

35:18 Comparison and Social Media

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

It’s okay to make mistakes, but I love learning from them and understanding why we make those decisions.

Hair is such a big part of people's identity. It tells who you are.

You can externally excite yourself... But if you're not aligned internally, you still have that sad and lonely feeling.

I think imposter syndrome to an extent is healthy... It keeps me turning up to jobs prepared. I treat every job like it's the first time I've done it.

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

Chris Appleton’s book Your Roots Don’t Define You, is out now

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

📚 WANT MORE?

Rylan Clark - on public breakdowns, surviving divorce and rebuilding his sense of self.

Dawn French - on comedy, adoption and finding confidence later in life.

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Elizabeth and Chris answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

_________________________________________________________________________

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices