Hannah Murray - ‘Everything Fell Apart’

Hannah Murray found fame when she was just 17, playing the self-destructive Cassie in E4’s Skins. She juggled an English degree at Cambridge University alongside playing Gilly in HBO’s Game Of Thrones and went on to film Detroit, directed by Kathryn Bigelow.

When the physical and mental stress required from these roles began to take its toll, Murray sought treatment from a reiki healer. From there, her life began to spiral as she became heavily involved with a ‘healing’ organisation whose promises of real-life magic and enlightenment were increasingly seductive. She ended up being sectioned after a psychotic break and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Now, she has written her first book. The Make-Believe: A Memoir of Magic and Madness is a deeply personal account of these events, written with compulsive lyricism. It takes readers on a journey to the edges of reality, where magic is possible, and where the liminal space between what is real and what is imagined becomes ever more porous.

In this episode we delve into Hannah’s breakdown and what it taught her. We discuss living with BPD, her decision to quit acting and why, as a society, it’s so important to talk about severe mental health conditions - even if it makes us uncomfortable. Plus: when does our modern obsession with ‘wellness’ go too far?

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Introduction

04:30 Acting Roles and Emotional Toll

07:51 The Memoir

09:17 Traumatic Filming and Aftermath

11:57 Failure to Be Happy Always

16:06 Rapture Highs and Bipolar

18:14 Reiki Rabbit Hole and Cult Questions

28:50 Wellness as Addiction

30:25 Hotel Breakdown Begins

32:17 Exorcism and Delusions

33:26 Realizing You're Sectioned

35:18 Medication and Coming Back

36:12 Shame to Compassion

42:55 Bipolar Mania Explained

48:41 Leaving Acting and Moving On

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

On the nature of modern mental health discourse: "What if I want to talk about when I was drinking my own urine on a psychiatric ward? You can’t really say that at a dinner party... there is still a big taboo around psychosis, bipolar, schizophrenia, and other conditions that are less palatable and less kind of cozy."

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

The Make-Believe by Hannah Murray is available now in hardback and audio, read by Hannah penguin.co.uk/books/471422/the-make-believe-by…

Hannah will be in conversation with Jessie Cave at Kings Place on Friday 5th June. Link to tickets here: kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/words/hannah-murray-…

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

📚 WANT MORE?

Jennette McCurdy - discusses childhood fame, toxic family dynamics, eating disorders, grief and how reclaiming her own identity after her mother’s death ultimately set her free: swap.fm/l/DqqwmylXlnMvnfOmG53z

Marian Keyes - the bestselling writer on addiction, creative insecurity and body image: swap.fm/l/3opU8XRCVTQLV4v994U5

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