
How To Fail With Elizabeth Day· Staffel 20· Folge 96
Tom Ellis - Fatherhood, Surrogacy and Years of Therapy
Mittwoch, 3. September 2025 · 50 min
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Shownotes
You may know Tom Ellis as the devilishly charming lead in Netflix’s Lucifer, or as the lovable Gary in the BBC sitcom Miranda. He's also made waves in the U.S., starring alongside Gina Rodriguez in Players, and appearing in Hulu’s Tell Me Lies, created by his wife, Meghan Oppenheimer.
In 2023, Tom and Meghan welcomed a daughter via surrogate, adding to his role as a proud dad of four. Now, his next big project is the star-studded film adaptation of Richard Osman’s bestselling novel The Thursday Murder Club, alongside Helen Mirren, Pierce Brosnan, and Richard E. Grant.
In this episode, Tom opens up about modern fatherhood, navigating surrogacy, his fear of needles and what it's really like working on a series about sexual toxicity - with his real-life partner at the helm.
✨ IN THIS EPISODE:
Intro
From Cardiff to Hollywood
The Spiritual Journey
The Thursday Murder Club Experience
Personal Life and Surrogacy
Failures and Lessons in Sports
Discovering Acting
Being Recognised on the Street
Medical Green Card Failure
Discovering Vasovagal Condition
Becoming a US Citizen
Political Climate in the US
Working with his Wife
Financial Struggles as a Student
Cats and Family Life
💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:
"I've had to face things that have been really uncomfortable. But I'm glad that I have done, because then I get back to a place of - this is where I should be. Acknowledging when I've been in the wrong place has been hard, but it's something that I've got better at"
On therapy: "I've learned that you're just basically asking someone to ask you the questions that you're scared to ask yourself, because you probably know the answers already"
🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:
Tom Ellis stars in The Thursday Murder Club, available to watch now on Netflix
Elizabeth’s upcoming one-off show at Cadogan Hall on 21 Sep for her new novel One of Us: fane.co.uk/elizabeth-day
Elizabeth’s Substack: theelizabethday.substack.com
Join the How To Fail community: howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content
📚 WANT MORE?
Miranda Hart - link.chtbl.com/BoBbGenZ
Richard Osman - link.chtbl.com/oo_ct3h3
Tom Daley - link.chtbl.com/FGrAfe6J
💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?
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👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:
Instagram: @elizabday
TikTok: @howtofailpod
Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod
Website: www.elizabethday.org
Substack: theelizabethday.substack.com
Elizabeth and Tom Ellis answer YOUR questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: howtofailpod.com
Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com
Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan
Sound Engineer: Matias Torres
Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali
Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot
Executive Producer: Carly Maile
How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.
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