If You Care Too Much About What People Think Listen This!

0:01 [SPEAKER_00]: Brothers and sisters, we often say that at the end of the day, it is only Allah's opinion of us that matters. [SPEAKER_00]: And of course, that is the most important thing, because people's opinion of you, they will never agree on you. [SPEAKER_00]: And even if they were to happen to agree on you being praiseworthy, [SPEAKER_00]: They're going to change their mind soon.

0:21 [SPEAKER_00]: And even if they don't change their mind, it's still not going to benefit you on the other side of the bridge much. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not going to benefit you if Allah is not pleased with you, Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. [SPEAKER_00]: But is Allah's opinion of us the only thing. [SPEAKER_00]: It is the most important, but it is the only thing that matters.

0:40 [SPEAKER_00]: Should we care about people's opinions of us? [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely. [SPEAKER_00]: We are not crude materialists that believe the human being is just energy and matter. [SPEAKER_00]: The human being is just some intelligent animal. [SPEAKER_00]: There's no such thing as honor. [SPEAKER_00]: There's no such thing as reputation.

0:58 [SPEAKER_00]: Interestingly, the people, even who say that today, are often the quickest people to get offended by others. [SPEAKER_00]: But look at it from the lens of Islam. [SPEAKER_00]: Look at the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. [SPEAKER_00]: Allah Azza wa jalla has him born into the most reputable family.

1:17 [SPEAKER_00]: even though Allah does not look at lineages, but because people care about these things, and Allah wants people to listen for their own good, he puts him in the family that has the best reputation. [SPEAKER_00]: And then he gives him Salallahu alaihi wa sallam, the most beautiful of faces.

1:31 [SPEAKER_00]: Though Allah does not look at your faces or look at your wealth, but he looks at your hearts and your deeds, you know the Hadith. [SPEAKER_00]: But he still gives him the most beautiful face because people care about judging books according to their covers. [SPEAKER_00]: So it works. [SPEAKER_00]: and he gave him sallallahu alaihi o sallam the best of character.

1:49 [SPEAKER_00]: For instance, when he would command people with charity, he was the most charitable of them all. [SPEAKER_00]: He would walk the talk. [SPEAKER_00]: And he would consume no charity to his personal benefit whatsoever. [SPEAKER_00]: And even when he would consume of the spoils of war, take some of that for the sustenance of him and his family, he would take less than anyone else ever would.

2:14 [SPEAKER_00]: Like structurally, systematically, the chiefs of the tribes of Arabia would claim one quarter of the spoils after everyone, every war that was won. [SPEAKER_00]: This was normal to the tradition. [SPEAKER_00]: Islam came and said, Fahann Ali Lahul-Humusahu, belonged to Allah, and his messenger are one fifth, not one fourth.

2:34 [SPEAKER_00]: They reduced to one fifth of the spoils. [SPEAKER_00]: And you know that one fifth, he would still share it. [SPEAKER_00]: Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. [SPEAKER_00]: Because this is important. [SPEAKER_00]: The time when he was walking his wife Safiya home in the dark of the Allahu Anha, he felt two men nearby picking up their pace, accelerating.

2:55 [SPEAKER_00]: As if there was something awkward going on. [SPEAKER_00]: Let's get out of here. [SPEAKER_00]: So he stopped them, he said, I'll let him sleep, oh my slow down. [SPEAKER_00]: in the hasafea, this is a safea, I mean there's nothing inappropriate, he was worried that they would misperceive him in a particular way that would brew in their hearts later become an inlet for shaitan and destroy them.

3:15 [SPEAKER_00]: He cared about them. [SPEAKER_00]: Sallallahu alayhi wa-sallam and how they saw him for their own good. [SPEAKER_00]: And this, by the way, stands true about all Muslims. [SPEAKER_00]: Why are so many doors shut in Islam about backbiting, negatively speaking, or even gesturing with your hand, they're with the rolling of your eye, negatively referring to anyone?

3:35 [SPEAKER_00]: Because when reputations fall, trust falls with it, and society is built on familiarity and trust. [SPEAKER_00]: This is why in Islam not only can you not negatively refer to another, [SPEAKER_00]: verbally or non-verbaly, you are not even allowed to tolerate when someone else does it in your presence, you need to be checking them, you need to be shutting them down, you need to be objecting to this.

3:58 [SPEAKER_00]: This is also why in Islam there is a hadde, there is a prescribed punishment for slander. [SPEAKER_00]: If there aren't enough witnesses and there's no public harm here, you shouldn't be talking about this whatsoever or else you are the one that is punished. [SPEAKER_00]: And he ﷺ even elsewhere, he said laya to hadda tunas and namuham madan yaku tudu ashaba.

4:22 [SPEAKER_00]: I will not leave room open for people to misstake in lisae Muhammad kills his own companions. [SPEAKER_00]: He said this about a man that was wrong that did commit a crime, that was manipulating and mobilizing and war mongering, but [SPEAKER_00]: the perception on the outside, the optics was, people don't know this, he's doing this.

4:44 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm not going to leave room open for people to easily attack the reputation of Islam by punishing him for something people can't see. [SPEAKER_00]: I will not open the door, make it easy for others to say Muhammad kills people who are his own companions. [SPEAKER_00]: He kills his own.

5:02 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, in fact, there is a Hadith narrated about the Barani. [SPEAKER_00]: from Abu-Lahib misalam from Zaidim misa'ana. [SPEAKER_00]: Zaidim misa'ana like Abu-Lahib misalam was a leading rabbi in Medina, but he was also very wealthy and he would lend people money. [SPEAKER_00]: The prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam once borrowed from him 18th-th-a'al of gold, big chunk of gold.

5:24 [SPEAKER_00]: And he gave it all away. [SPEAKER_00]: And then Zaidim misa'ana approaches him one day in the middle of his companions in a gathering of Muslims a few days [SPEAKER_00]: And he says to him, [SPEAKER_00]: So, of course, Omar and you know Omar, Omar couldn't even believe this was happening.

6:11 [SPEAKER_00]: So the first thing Omar said, when he jumped up, he said, did you just say what I heard you say? [SPEAKER_00]: Like, please tell me this, you didn't just say that, because it was too far or too abrasive. [SPEAKER_00]: And so then Omar grabs him because he had grabbed the Prophet alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallallahu alaihi sallahu alai

6:44 [SPEAKER_00]: But as he is saying this, the Prophet, alaihi salatu wa salam, notices that they did not look at Omar, who is threatening him, he is looking at the Prophet, he is fixated on him. [SPEAKER_00]: So he is ala Llahu alaihi wa salam, in as perfect wisdom as you will ever find in any human being, he knew what he was doing.

7:04 [SPEAKER_00]: And so he caught it and he said to Omar, [SPEAKER_00]: But Omar no, what you should have done, is said to me, pay him back. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, even if it's early, just give him his money. [SPEAKER_00]: And say to him, he should be asking more politely. [SPEAKER_00]: He knew that Zidu's testing him.

7:22 [SPEAKER_00]: He said, now go get the money, borrow it from someone else or whatnot, and give him the money, and add on top of that 20 SAR, 20 sort of double handfuls, because you terrified him. [SPEAKER_00]: Compensate him for the horror you put him through you terrorize this man So Omar goes off what of the Allah wa Anhu and he gives the man his money and he gives the man the bonus and he says to him What's this?

7:47 [SPEAKER_00]: He said the Prophet's sauce. [SPEAKER_00]: I let him tell me to give you extra because I terrorized you He said to Omar you don't know who I am will you and Omar is not interested, you know, but he said who are you? [SPEAKER_00]: I like I don't know and I don't care who are you? [SPEAKER_00]: He said I'm saved him to certain He knew of him, but he didn't know him.

8:05 [SPEAKER_00]: He said [SPEAKER_00]: the leading rabbi of the Jews. [SPEAKER_00]: So they said, how dare you speak to the Prophet ﷺ like this? [SPEAKER_00]: Like you know better, he said, no, no, no. [SPEAKER_00]: There was not a single sign of him being a true prophet, except that I recognized it from the first time I looked at him.

8:21 [SPEAKER_00]: But there were only two left that I had to account for. [SPEAKER_00]: One of them is, [SPEAKER_00]: foolishness would never overcome, be able to sort of surface against his forbearance, his ability to tolerate offenses. [SPEAKER_00]: And the other one is the more foolish someone becomes with him, the more he outdoes them in grace.

8:51 [SPEAKER_00]: The more overboard you go, the more of a shining radiant example you get out of him. [SPEAKER_00]: So when I push the envelope, I force the issue and he pays me out a bonus. [SPEAKER_00]: I am now pleased with Allah as my Lord and Islam is my Dean and Muhammad as my prophet. [SPEAKER_00]: Take me back to him.

9:09 [SPEAKER_00]: So he takes him back to the Prophet. [SPEAKER_00]: Allah, alaihi wa sallallahu alaihi wa sallallahu alaihi lallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallallall [SPEAKER_00]: At every battle since then, until he was martyred, he was granted the rank of Martyrdom in the Battle of Tabuk.

9:29 [SPEAKER_00]: And by the way brothers and sisters, you know this idea, like the great imams of Islam also understood this. [SPEAKER_00]: That there's technicalities, right and wrong, technically halal, for me to get justice, but at what cost the reputation? [SPEAKER_00]: could get tarnished, could get muddied, and it's just not worth it.

9:45 [SPEAKER_00]: They knew this about our prophet Alayhi Sadhu Selam. [SPEAKER_00]: They understood the value of the currency of credibility. [SPEAKER_00]: It's, you use it, and you don't want to spend it on cheap things. [SPEAKER_00]: You pick your battles, right? [SPEAKER_00]: And so they would stay away from so much Hala Al even.

9:59 [SPEAKER_00]: For the sake of the greater good, you know, Imam Malik bin Adinar, you'll read in his biography that one day, perhaps he hasn't had it in years, he was craving, figs, tin, tin, figs. [SPEAKER_00]: And so he went to the seller that he saw the selling figs and the cravings sort of got sparked and he said, can I pay you later the seller said absolutely not Take a hike like he was being very abrasive with him So he said, okay, you can sort of this was common practice.

10:27 [SPEAKER_00]: You can hold something that's mine here are my sandals until I bring you the money [SPEAKER_00]: No deal. [SPEAKER_00]: It's just being very rude about it. [SPEAKER_00]: And so, of course, Maniky Bidinar, people are watching. [SPEAKER_00]: This was humiliating for him, so he walked away.

10:43 [SPEAKER_00]: the people go up to her, like, are you crazy? [SPEAKER_00]: This was Malikipiddinart. [SPEAKER_00]: How could you speak to my, he said, I didn't know that was Malikipiddinart. [SPEAKER_00]: How was I supposed to know that was Malikipiddinart? [SPEAKER_00]: So one of the men, he felt bad.

10:52 [SPEAKER_00]: He bought a whole bushel of tin. [SPEAKER_00]: And he had his servant, someone from the slave class, said he told him if you can get Malikipiddinart to accept this gift, you are a free man. [SPEAKER_00]: It's a huge deal. [SPEAKER_00]: Hundreds of thousands of dollars if you will. [SPEAKER_00]: So he goes to Malikipiddinart, and he says to him, this is yours.

11:11 [SPEAKER_00]: He said to him, I can't accept it. [SPEAKER_00]: He said, no, no, no, no, no. [SPEAKER_00]: Let me explain. [SPEAKER_00]: I, I, I was told if I can get you to accept this, I become a free man. [SPEAKER_00]: He said, you go back and tell them in Namali, Ken, Laya, Kulutina, Bidin. [SPEAKER_00]: Why in Namalee can Harra Malan F-C-He-Teen Ile-Yomideen?

11:31 [SPEAKER_00]: Go tell them Malik does not eat fixed-teen in exchange for his deen. [SPEAKER_00]: Meaning if I accept this, this is Sheikh Dynamics. [SPEAKER_00]: This is you treating me nice only because you found out who I am. [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm not going to Tarnish spend from that currency of my reputation.

11:46 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to accept special treatment just because I'm a Sheikh. [SPEAKER_00]: No, that's going to hurt my integrity, my ability to be seen as someone reputable to share dealing with people. [SPEAKER_00]: For Allah's sake, I'm not going to do it. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't eat tea in exchange for deen.

12:02 [SPEAKER_00]: He said, until then, I have prohibited, meaning promised myself that I will no longer eat this, because it was subjected me to social mediation. [SPEAKER_00]: I will not give in to this craving, again, until the day of judgment. [SPEAKER_00]: I'll have mine in general. [SPEAKER_00]: So he said, back to him, I understand that your freedom is involved, but my captivity is involved.

12:27 [SPEAKER_00]: You'll become free if I accept it, but I become a captive of that bad reputation, meaning if I accept it. [SPEAKER_00]: It was also similarly reported about the Imam al-Bukhari Rahim al-Lah that one time in his journeys seeking the sacred sciences, he was on a boat and when he was on a boat, someone was calling out who stole my purse, who stole my pouch of money.

12:49 [SPEAKER_00]: I had 10,000 in there. [SPEAKER_00]: And at that moment, the personal pouch of Imam al-Bukhari had the same exact amount inside. [SPEAKER_00]: So I had al-Bukhari took the money and he threw it in the middle of the ocean. [SPEAKER_00]: So, his friends, the conference in the journey are saying what are you doing?

13:06 [SPEAKER_00]: It is normally Haram to his money. [SPEAKER_00]: A lot to him, that is Haram. [SPEAKER_00]: It's prohibited in Islam to just throw money out. [SPEAKER_00]: But he explained to them in Nassalam et'a, l'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'. [SPEAKER_00]: securing, meaning my reputation is priceless.

13:20 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm spending this money, if you will, so that people do not put a question mark upon me and might allow to be in that legendary process that sacred chain of passing on the Prophet's words. [SPEAKER_00]: Cause if I'm like possibly a thief, it's all over. [SPEAKER_00]: I'll pay 10,000 for it.

13:39 [SPEAKER_00]: To keep my reputation, keep it safe, keep it spot. [SPEAKER_00]: This is exhausting, by the way. [SPEAKER_00]: Staying away from the halal. [SPEAKER_00]: And the early Muslims used to recognize how exhausting it was brothers and sisters. [SPEAKER_00]: Because like, it affects how you dress.

13:52 [SPEAKER_00]: It affects what you do and don't eat sometimes. [SPEAKER_00]: It affects sort of your emotional health. [SPEAKER_00]: It affects the way you speak to your family at home. [SPEAKER_00]: This is why Alahina Fbn Khalis Rahimah Allah. [SPEAKER_00]: He said once, [SPEAKER_00]: that if I knew people disdain, they criticized the drinking of water, I would never drink water again.

14:14 [SPEAKER_00]: This is an expression, of course, that's impossible. [SPEAKER_00]: He means, I'll do whatever I can do to make sure I don't put myself in that place. [SPEAKER_00]: And so then he heard a man say, Alahana heard a man say, not me. [SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't care less with people say. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't care what anyone says about me.

14:30 [SPEAKER_00]: So he said back to him, [SPEAKER_00]: You found relief, you took the cup out. [SPEAKER_00]: The easy route, the path of least resistance. [SPEAKER_00]: He said, you comforted yourself from tracking up word, the people of nobility, put in much more work than that. [SPEAKER_00]: It does matter, even with your family.

14:54 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, many times, kids, family members, resent their parents because their parents don't go out of their way. [SPEAKER_00]: You're not always going to explain. [SPEAKER_00]: But to explain to them, it's not a power trip. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not just trying to bully you here. [SPEAKER_00]: This is why I did it.

15:08 [SPEAKER_00]: of the fewest people that was able to do it right in human history, the best of them was Muhammad ﷺ. [SPEAKER_00]: When he removed the charity that was eaten by his grandson, one of the warehouses of charity, the dates, his grandson, they're not allowed to eat charity, he was eating from the charity.

15:24 [SPEAKER_00]: He said to him, ah, ah, like spit it out, spit it out. [SPEAKER_00]: And then he explained why, I didn't just say, put that away, stop it. [SPEAKER_00]: He said, in a sadaqata, alatah illulim Muhammadin wa lali alim Muhammad. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not you, not trying to bully you. [SPEAKER_00]: This charity is not permitted to be consumed by even me, by Muhammad or by the family of Muhammad.

15:45 [SPEAKER_00]: How beautiful. [SPEAKER_00]: Or the other incident, when the young man came to say, Yara Sulla Allah, then leave his ina. [SPEAKER_00]: Permit me to form a cave. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm going crazy here. [SPEAKER_00]: Give me an exception. [SPEAKER_00]: Give me a pass. [SPEAKER_00]: Give me one year off or something.

15:57 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't. [SPEAKER_00]: He didn't just tell him fear of Allah the day. [SPEAKER_00]: The Hadith actually, we don't have time to unpack it in detail. [SPEAKER_00]: It is deliberately by design so long with it. [SPEAKER_00]: would you accept it for your mother? [SPEAKER_00]: He respected his intelligence.

16:12 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not just sort of like shutting you down. [SPEAKER_00]: He sympathizing with his struggle. [SPEAKER_00]: Respecting is what you accepted for your mother. [SPEAKER_00]: No, people wouldn't accept it for their mothers. [SPEAKER_00]: Would you accept it for your sister? [SPEAKER_00]: No, people wouldn't accept it for their sisters.

16:23 [SPEAKER_00]: Would you accept it for your aunt on your mom's side? [SPEAKER_00]: No, how about your aunt on your dad's side? [SPEAKER_00]: He's subdividing here to help him imagine what the world would be like if the free for all and exceptions existed in this regard. [SPEAKER_00]: It wouldn't work.

16:37 [SPEAKER_00]: And then he didn't stop there, sallallahu alaihi wa salam, he furthered, he furthered, by putting his hand on his chest and saying, Allahumahsun Farjahu, wa wa Firdhambahu wa shfis al-dara. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh Allah, guard his body from being used in the wrong ways, and forgive his sin, whatever could have happened in the past of slip ups, and heal his chest.

17:00 [SPEAKER_00]: I know you're on fire, right? [SPEAKER_00]: And then the narrator says he never turned left and right again, meaning looking at you know what. [SPEAKER_00]: He was healed. [SPEAKER_00]: By the prophet, Adi is supposed to send him winning his heart and being able to get in there to better him.

17:14 [SPEAKER_00]: Finally, brothers and sisters, as you know, Islam brings us to the perfect golden balance in all matters. [SPEAKER_00]: So let me identify in great brevity when people's opinions shouldn't matter. [SPEAKER_00]: They shouldn't matter, of course, if they're going to cost you your Islam. [SPEAKER_00]: Think of the multitudes of people, millions upon millions throughout human history, that refuse to become Muslim.

17:35 [SPEAKER_00]: Even after recognizing the truth of Islam, simply because of what my family's honor, the path of the forefathers, my ancestors. [SPEAKER_00]: We found them a certain way I'm sticking to it, right? [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to humiliate my family. [SPEAKER_00]: The social, currency, [SPEAKER_00]: It's a big thing for people, it's just like financial.

17:54 [SPEAKER_00]: This is why the prophet Ali alaihi salatu al-Salam said about the two currencies, two hungry wolves, being let loose among a flock of sheep will not do more damage to that flock than a man being too clingy, to obsess, too keen on his wealth, that currency and his reputation, those will do damage to his deen, even more so than these wolves will be doing damage to a flock of sheep.

18:18 [SPEAKER_00]: It will destroy your den. [SPEAKER_00]: Also, there is no room for your honor, your reputation when it involves violating the rights of others. [SPEAKER_00]: You know Mahalib Niyasar, Rati Allahu'an, remember this anecdote. [SPEAKER_00]: People love to make things about themselves in the middle of conflicts.

18:35 [SPEAKER_00]: So, his sister was divorced and her husband waited a long time before he finally changed his mind and said, okay, I'll take her back. [SPEAKER_00]: So Mark has had absolutely not, you will never have my sister back, you humiliated our whole family, not going to happen and she wants to go back.

18:51 [SPEAKER_00]: So the Qur'an comes down and says what Wala Ta'aduduhunna. [SPEAKER_00]: Aiyyan kihna is wajahunna, Ida Ta'r al-Dawbaina humbil ma'ruf. [SPEAKER_00]: Don't obstruct, don't get in the way of your women. [SPEAKER_00]: When they want to go back to their former husbands, so long as they've arrived at a fair, amicable, mutual agreement between them.

19:08 [SPEAKER_00]: No room, don't make this about you. [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lady there. [SPEAKER_00]: It's her life. [SPEAKER_00]: There's probably kids involved. [SPEAKER_00]: Back off, no room for your reputation there. [SPEAKER_00]: And lastly and very quickly, [SPEAKER_00]: over-focusing on your reputation, at the expense of your flaws.

19:24 [SPEAKER_00]: You know when people criticize your reputation, sometimes these are the best people to help you pinpoint your most fatal flaws, because they're more focused on looking at your flaws than you are. [SPEAKER_00]: Very hard to say your own flaws. [SPEAKER_00]: So harness it. [SPEAKER_00]: It was set to a full blade, this person is criticizing you, tarnishing your rep.

19:42 [SPEAKER_00]: He said, I will spite shaytan. [SPEAKER_00]: I know it's not him. [SPEAKER_00]: It's shaytan behind him. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna spite shaytan right now. [SPEAKER_00]: O Allah if it's true, good be true. [SPEAKER_00]: Keep it in mind. [SPEAKER_00]: Good be true. [SPEAKER_00]: O Allah if it's true forgive me, and if it's not true forgive him.

19:56 [SPEAKER_00]: And it was said, and with her I close, Umad Darda, Rabbi Allah wa Anha. [SPEAKER_00]: They said to her, a man is alleging things against you in front of Abdel Mellik, Abdel Mellik is the president, so like this could get serious, there could be an execution involved, right? [SPEAKER_00]: She told them slow down, let's not get carried away, let's not assume the worst, so-and-so is accusing you in front of Abdel Mellik, she said, [SPEAKER_00]: In Noobben, be Malay Safina, Fatalama, Zukina, be Malay Safina.

20:24 [SPEAKER_00]: No big deal right now. [SPEAKER_00]: If we are being accused of things unfairly, we have also been praised so many times unfairly. [SPEAKER_00]: He'll cancel out, not the end of the world. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not obsessed over this. [SPEAKER_00]: May Allah as the original better our image in front of the world and make our best profile be our profile in his eyes Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, may Allah better our credibility in the eyes of our family and our loved ones and help us prioritize our reputation with him above and before all else.