Stop Seeking People’s Approval - Know Your True Value

0:00 [SPEAKER_00]: True peace, my dear brothers and sisters, it doesn't come from people accepting you. [SPEAKER_00]: It comes from being aligned with your Creator. [SPEAKER_00]: It comes from being true to yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: And the Prophet ﷺ completely predicted this type of loneliness to come in the future.

0:15 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and if don't, it's not isolation. [SPEAKER_00]: It's a feeling that you are different to the norms of this world, to the corruption of this world. [SPEAKER_00]: You stay out of it. [SPEAKER_00]: The Prophet ﷺ said, [SPEAKER_00]: for the whole world or whatever, Islam began as something strange and it will return strange the same way it began.

0:38 [SPEAKER_00]: So glad tidings of paradise to those who belong to the strangers. [SPEAKER_00]: So here must it. [SPEAKER_00]: What does it mean? [SPEAKER_00]: It means when everybody else goes astray and it becomes the norm in society or on social media. [SPEAKER_00]: When everybody does it and normalize the bad, [SPEAKER_00]: or the criminality, you say no.

0:55 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to be a part of all of this even if I am isolated from that circle. [SPEAKER_00]: And I will join with the groups who stay on the moral ethical grounds, the right truthful grounds, the my faith in truthfulness, and adhere to it even if I am seen as a stranger to the corrupt world, as normalised it.

1:15 [SPEAKER_00]: Entering Paradise is a different story. [SPEAKER_00]: It requires a contract of faith with Allah Subhanahu wa Dahlah. [SPEAKER_00]: An example that I can give of that is like having a beloved kind, hearted and supportive father whom you love. [SPEAKER_00]: And you work at a corporate place, let's say.

1:30 [SPEAKER_00]: you work for them, you sign the contract, they give you privileges, they pay you correct, they give you passwords and pass keys to enter the building. [SPEAKER_00]: So your father, for example, goes to this corporate building and he cleans for free and he serves them for free and he helps them, but he doesn't sign the contract to be part of the company, a member, an employee, would he be entitled to any payment from the corporate company?

1:52 [SPEAKER_00]: No. [SPEAKER_00]: would he be entitled to pass words and to privileges like the members and employees? [SPEAKER_00]: No, but I thank you and a privileged card and probably inviting him to their functions and to mention him while I put him on the wall is something but he cannot be an employee or one who enters the corporate company like everyone else until you sign the contract and that is the difference.

2:16 [SPEAKER_00]: My brothers and sisters, knowing how this story ends in Miss Saura, how do we survive the middle? [SPEAKER_00]: How do we walk into our offices, schools, and homes tomorrow, without our heads held high, given the uphill, uphill battle? [SPEAKER_00]: The first thing I want to say to you, brothers and sisters, number one, reject the myth of safety.

2:35 [SPEAKER_00]: What do I mean by that? [SPEAKER_00]: I don't mean physical safety. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean reject the myth of safety by blending in and trying to hide who you are to please people. [SPEAKER_00]: This is a trap. [SPEAKER_00]: If you hide your values to fit in, you have to constantly not. [SPEAKER_00]: You have to not along and try to put on a face and disagree with what your own soul is telling you and you drain yourself on the inside.

3:00 [SPEAKER_00]: Why do that to yourself? [SPEAKER_00]: You simply exchange the external trial of dealing with people's mockery for a brutal internal warfare against your own conscience. [SPEAKER_00]: True peace by dear brothers and sisters, it doesn't come from people accepting you. [SPEAKER_00]: It comes from being aligned with your creator.

3:18 [SPEAKER_00]: It comes from being true to yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: and the Prophet ﷺ completely predicted this type of loneliness to come in the future. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and if don't, it's not isolation. [SPEAKER_00]: It's a feeling that you are different to the norms of this world, to the corruption of this world.

3:34 [SPEAKER_00]: You stay out of it. [SPEAKER_00]: The Prophet ﷺ said, [SPEAKER_00]: as something strange, and it will return strange the same way it began. [SPEAKER_00]: So, glad tidings of paradise to those who belong to the strangers. [SPEAKER_00]: So, here, Muslim. [SPEAKER_00]: What does it mean? [SPEAKER_00]: It means when everybody else goes astray, and it becomes the norm in society or on social media.

4:01 [SPEAKER_00]: When everybody does it, and normalize the bad, or the criminality, you say no. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to be a part of all of this, even if I am isolated from that circle, and I will join with the groups who stay on the moral ethical grounds, the right truthful grounds, the my faith in truthfulness, and adhere to it, even if I am seen as a stranger to the corrupt world who has normalized it.

4:25 [SPEAKER_00]: If everybody commits adultery and fornication and normalizes nudity, you say no, I don't want to be a part of that, even if 90% of the people around me do it and as a result you become lonely in that sense. [SPEAKER_00]: If everybody became a murderer and a corrupted person who steals and robs, and you say this has been normalized in our society and you choose not to take part.

4:45 [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to become lonely. [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to become a stranger. [SPEAKER_00]: You're not really a stranger. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not a bad thing, but you don't take part in corruption. [SPEAKER_00]: So you'll be called a stranger. [SPEAKER_00]: Why are you like that? [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have a girlfriend.

4:57 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have a boyfriend. [SPEAKER_00]: You're weird. [SPEAKER_00]: No. [SPEAKER_00]: You're stranger. [SPEAKER_00]: You're strange to them. [SPEAKER_00]: You're strange because you don't do what everybody else is doing. [SPEAKER_00]: You're strange because you are not the person who easily gets sucked into influences.

5:12 [SPEAKER_00]: You're not person who gets easily sucked into whatever trend is on the market. [SPEAKER_00]: You are an intelligent person who sits through and you have benevolence and high self-esteem. [SPEAKER_00]: Secondly, brothers and sisters choose the hate over the shade. [SPEAKER_00]: What do I mean by that?

5:27 [SPEAKER_00]: It's always easier to sit in the air-conditioned shade of blending in. [SPEAKER_00]: It's comfortable to sit back and look like everyone else. [SPEAKER_00]: Think of the Companion, Abu Khayh Thamma, Rabbi Allah wa Anhu, during the grueling Companion of the combat story of Tabuk, time of the Prophetsal Al-Azallam.

5:47 [SPEAKER_00]: The Muslims had to go out to face the enemy lines. [SPEAKER_00]: Otherwise they were going to be annihilated. [SPEAKER_00]: And they had to sometimes get up to carry arms [SPEAKER_00]: and to defend themselves and their borders. [SPEAKER_00]: And this man, Companion Abou, Haithamah, Al-An-Sari, of the Allahuan, who heard the hypocrites because they were hypocrites among them, spies.

6:06 [SPEAKER_00]: Who started to make mocking words and use what we call today memes of sarcasm, bullying words, [SPEAKER_00]: They call your names in derogatory sort of titles, the high school bullying tactic, the hypocrites used to do that, and they make names of mockery. [SPEAKER_00]: So this man, he felt embarrassed to go out and show himself, because the hypocrites were stronger in mockery.

6:27 [SPEAKER_00]: They were better at manipulation. [SPEAKER_00]: They were better at derogatory words, they're very colorful with them. [SPEAKER_00]: And every manipulator is really good at that. [SPEAKER_00]: So Abu Khaytama, he got sort of influenced by that, and he thought, I'll hide myself. [SPEAKER_00]: While the Prophet ﷺ himself, on his own blessed feet, in the height of the sun with his great companions went out in a small amount, then his Eman hit him hard.

6:52 [SPEAKER_00]: And he said, how? [SPEAKER_00]: How can I sit here in the shade of these palm trees of my land, eating fruit and food? [SPEAKER_00]: And while my wife sips for me, whatever, you know, tea and drink, just because I want to avoid the mockery of the people and not stand out. [SPEAKER_00]: While my beloved Sallallahu alaihi wa selam, he is out on his blessed feet in the scorching heat.

7:10 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, lahi, I am a nobody. [SPEAKER_00]: If I were to sit in the shade and let us all realise that selam be out alone like this, I will follow him and not be a hypocrite. [SPEAKER_00]: When he went out, Rasulullah al-Sallam was thinking about him, and he was distorted about it. [SPEAKER_00]: And so when he saw him from a distance, he said, Qun abuhaytha, Qun abuhaytha.

7:29 [SPEAKER_00]: Please be abuhaytha. [SPEAKER_00]: Please be abuhaytha. [SPEAKER_00]: And when he arrived, Rasulullah al-Ali, he was selling him. [SPEAKER_00]: He was so proud and happy when he saw him. [SPEAKER_00]: My brothers and sisters, the moments that define your soul, are the moments you choose to ride out into the social hate for the sake of Allah.

7:47 [SPEAKER_00]: Number three, the Qur'anic prescription of a tight chest comes to mind. [SPEAKER_00]: We're a lot of Hanohu wa Ta'ala describes the feeling of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ himself against the mockery and the hate of the derogative of the denigrations that the enemies of Qur'aish started to do against him.

8:06 [SPEAKER_00]: Allah Spantala consoles the Prophet ﷺ in the Qur'an where he says to Hanohu wa Ta'ala [SPEAKER_00]: O indita messenger of Allah, we know very well how your chest becomes tightened with anguish and pain at what they say and throw at you. [SPEAKER_00]: If the messenger of Allah used to encounter that.

8:36 [SPEAKER_00]: Even the Muslims from among them, who were hypocritical, silently used to throw word at the Prophet ﷺ from afar, one time he was sitting among the companions giving out charity to the people, and one man did not receive what he anticipated or wanted. [SPEAKER_00]: It was a little bit. [SPEAKER_00]: So he said secretly among other people, Allah, He maddened.

8:56 [SPEAKER_00]: I swear, He wasn't just or fear. [SPEAKER_00]: The news got to a companion and he came to the Prophet ﷺ and said, they're saying about you that you weren't fair and I will not hide it from the messenger of Allah. [SPEAKER_00]: The Prophet ﷺ got hurt. [SPEAKER_00]: That even people from among, that his people around him, then the Prophet peace be upon him remembered who, like we remember the messenger of Allah, he remembered his brother Moussa, Moses Ali Salam.

9:18 [SPEAKER_00]: And he said, the following words, look at the O'Thea, Moussa, be akhferim in Delhi, kafa sabar, wa anasper. [SPEAKER_00]: Moses, he received even harsh words from his people than what I have received, and he was persevereing impatient. [SPEAKER_00]: Today I will be persevereing impatient.

9:33 [SPEAKER_00]: And Allah SWT gives him ways of how to deal with his tight chestness. [SPEAKER_00]: He gives him three ways. [SPEAKER_00]: He said to him, for Sub-Baham-Dirabbiq, engage and shift your focus from the low toxic words of people to the high perfect majesty of Allah, by literally saying Subhan Allah, Subhan Allah, Subhan Allah.

9:56 [SPEAKER_00]: pray to Allah SWT and in the nights say glory be to you Allah you are the most perfect. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh Allah far away from imperfection are you. [SPEAKER_00]: In other words you are the one to protect. [SPEAKER_00]: You are the most perfect. [SPEAKER_00]: Where behamdi here and say alhamdulillah gratitude to Allah for what I have.

10:12 [SPEAKER_00]: In Allah SWT says in the Qur'an [SPEAKER_00]: Allah also said, and say it in Your Sujud, go and pray and make Sajda and put your head on the ground, release your stress and connect to the only entity whose opinion actually matters. [SPEAKER_00]: Because when we put our heads on the floor and we make Sujud, my dear brothers and sisters and do our prayer, it releases cortisol and it helps us to de-stress Salat and talking to a loss of [SPEAKER_00]: And number three, Allah SWT says, Wah-Jur-Hum-Hajran-Jamila, have beautiful avoidance.

10:49 [SPEAKER_00]: Meaning, you do not need to scream back. [SPEAKER_00]: You do not need to fight back. [SPEAKER_00]: Walk away from toxic environments with quiet, dignified distance without malice. [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it might happen to the people you can't move from your life, such as your own family.

11:05 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's toxic to you while you practice. [SPEAKER_00]: Some of them might say to you what now you grow your beard, yesterday you were dancing at the nightclub. [SPEAKER_00]: What now you're wearing your hijab, misperfection, what you think you're better than us. [SPEAKER_00]: Only yesterday you were walking around with this boyfriend or that.

11:20 [SPEAKER_00]: What now you tell us about Salat and then the ester are you are gambling? [SPEAKER_00]: What today now you're a mismissor, mismissor, Mr. [SPEAKER_00]: Perfect only earn halat when you've been you know stealing it with faith before? [SPEAKER_00]: Now you tell us good things, you're the biggest swearer come on.

11:34 [SPEAKER_00]: These are words to test your faith, but I repeat my dear brothers and sisters. [SPEAKER_00]: When they see you's hold on tightly and you respect yourself by adhering to what you now hold on to, [SPEAKER_00]: After a little while, they will shift, they will give up. [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody gives in at some time, brothers and sisters.

11:52 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, la il althine, they will get tired of smoking at you. [SPEAKER_00]: They will get tired of talking. [SPEAKER_00]: And even if they still don't like what you're doing, they'll harbour it inside, but they'll leave you alone. [SPEAKER_00]: Some of them don't. [SPEAKER_00]: So what do you do?

12:04 [SPEAKER_00]: Wahjurah Mahajaran Jamil. [SPEAKER_00]: Even if they're close family, you're allowed to have something called beautiful avoidance. [SPEAKER_00]: There's something called beautiful patience, and there's something called what beautiful avoidance. [SPEAKER_00]: Both of them are part of Islam.

12:17 [SPEAKER_00]: No, I'm not going to sit here telling you, no, connect your family ties even if you're abused, left right in center from head to toe. [SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, I'm not like that. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to seek telling you, connect your family ties and keep your head on the floor while they step on it.

12:30 [SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, don't you do that. [SPEAKER_00]: And I will even dare to say, please forgive me and understand me, even if it's my own mother or father who steps on it and abuses it, it doesn't mean that I allow them. [SPEAKER_00]: What do I mean by allow them? [SPEAKER_00]: It means I walk with benevolence.

12:44 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to reciprocate in the same way. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to swear if I have terrible, abusive, [SPEAKER_00]: I have a benevolent distance from afar, I'll talk to them. [SPEAKER_00]: If I am in danger, if I'm not in danger and it's just their words, I try to avoid it. [SPEAKER_00]: I try to minimize my contact when they need me, I respond, but within a safe distance.

13:09 [SPEAKER_00]: Up to Allah, you know, saddabn Abi Waqqaus, sort of the Allahuan, or the uncle of the Prophet ﷺ, the paternal uncle, by breastfeeding. [SPEAKER_00]: He was only 16 years old when he converted to Islam, when he embraced Islam. [SPEAKER_00]: His mother, who remained a polytheist at the time, you know what she did, she used abusive religious abuse towards him, religious violence, emotional abuse psychological abuse and religious abuse.

13:32 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what she said to him? [SPEAKER_00]: She said to him and spread it out through the entire Makkah, so she made it, she even exposed him, or she tried to. [SPEAKER_00]: So in modern terms we call it defamation. [SPEAKER_00]: She said, in front of everyone, I refuse to eat a single bite and I refuse to bathe or shower and I refuse to change my clothes until my son salad leaves Islam, emotional abuse.

13:58 [SPEAKER_00]: She used the motherly status to abuse him with it, to show that he is a bad person, bad son to his mum. [SPEAKER_00]: Look at him, if he agrees to stay in Islam, it means he doesn't want his mum to eat, he doesn't want his mum to drink, to change your clothes, doesn't want his mum to bath, bad son.

14:12 [SPEAKER_00]: And then she added the religious abuse by saying, doesn't your Islam, your guard, your prophet tell you that you have to obey your parents? [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, brothers and sisters. [SPEAKER_00]: 1,400 years ago, they used religious abuses, not something new. [SPEAKER_00]: The companions beat you to it.

14:26 [SPEAKER_00]: So don't think you're the only one, but keep your head up high and there's a way to deal with it. [SPEAKER_00]: She said your religion tells you to obey your mother. [SPEAKER_00]: So leave Islam. [SPEAKER_00]: So he said this to the Prophet ﷺ. [SPEAKER_00]: One of the other companions, actually before he went to the Prophet ﷺ, I didn't know when his other companions he said to him, listen to me.

14:40 [SPEAKER_00]: Don't obey your mother in leaving Islam, but treat her kindly as much as you can. [SPEAKER_00]: Well, don't worry. [SPEAKER_00]: She'll soon start to eat when she gets hungry enough. [SPEAKER_00]: She will change her clothes when he gets dirty enough, and she's going to bathe when she smells enough.

14:53 [SPEAKER_00]: She's just trying to test you out. [SPEAKER_00]: Don't compromise your faith. [SPEAKER_00]: So he went back to her and said, mother, I love you, you're everything to me, but I swim on. [SPEAKER_00]: If I saw you die and your soul entered an exited 100 times, I'll be there for you, but I will not leave this religion.

15:08 [SPEAKER_00]: So she started to eat, she started to dress, and she started to bathe. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's when the verse of the Quran was revealed, O Sain-e-l-in-San-e-b-u-e-l-e-le-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e- [SPEAKER_00]: And then I learned, I knew what I feel so I knew what I mean.

15:25 [SPEAKER_00]: And I shortly, I knew early day, and we have commanded man to be beautiful to their parents. [SPEAKER_00]: His mother carried him, paying upon agony, upon paying upon agony, in childbirth. [SPEAKER_00]: And after two years she breastfed him, so be beautiful and thankful to Allah and then to your parents.

15:42 [SPEAKER_00]: Ile'i al-Masir, to me, will all return. [SPEAKER_00]: Then Allah says, [SPEAKER_00]: But if you own parents, these same parents, they strive against you to disobey me or to make partners with me, which I have not shown you or taught you, do not obey them, [SPEAKER_00]: but live with them on good terms in this what largely life and to me you shall all return and I will judge between you.

16:14 [SPEAKER_00]: So, a Muslim can do a beautiful avoidance within a safe measure and should not be afraid of the commanding of God and misunderstanding the meaning of connecting family ties if it means the danger to themselves. [SPEAKER_00]: And this goes for everyone else around you at work at school, at university, at home, at your friends and so on.

16:34 [SPEAKER_00]: My brothers and sisters and finally [SPEAKER_00]: As we walk out of this moustache tonight, you and I, we face a choice. [SPEAKER_00]: tomorrow morning. [SPEAKER_00]: Will you go back to your office to university, to your workplace, to your home, or to your social media feeds, and just be exactly the same trying to fit in and hide.

16:53 [SPEAKER_00]: I promise you will with your will face the pressure of blending in. [SPEAKER_00]: You will feel that urge to hide your prayers, to compromise your values, and to silence your identity just to escape a smirk, a wink, a hateful online comment, or a pay for remark from a family member. [SPEAKER_00]: But I want you to remember, I have the love of Prophet ﷺ. I want you to remember, be lalib, nor abah, nor the Allah who I know.

17:16 [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to remember, I'm mad, I'm not yes, but the Allah who I know. [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to remember the messenger ﷺ, and all the prophets before. [SPEAKER_00]: Jesus ﷺ, Moses, Abraham, Noah, nor Haleh ﷺ. [SPEAKER_00]: And his people used to say to him, all we see are the low class insignificant people who have followed you.

17:36 [SPEAKER_00]: You must be a cheap person with a cheap religion for cheap people to follow you. [SPEAKER_00]: And when he started building the ark when a lot of commanded him, they said, well, Sir Tanesjar and Bada and Kuntanavir, what now you're a carpenter? [SPEAKER_00]: You've left the trade of Prophethood?

17:50 [SPEAKER_00]: Didn't work for you? [SPEAKER_00]: All the Prophet's and messages were mocked for the truth. [SPEAKER_00]: But your values and what you stand for is where your strength is. [SPEAKER_00]: And I promise you that we'll respect you even if they say hate forwards. [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to remember how they stood firm while the elite laughed, and most of all, I want you to remember, Abu Hatham, riding out into the heat, in the luxurious couches of paradise waiting for you.

18:11 [SPEAKER_00]: People's opinions might be brothers and sisters a cheap. [SPEAKER_00]: and their mockery is temporary. [SPEAKER_00]: Do not trade the eternal unwavering approval of the creator of the universe for the flickle, fleeting, acceptance of a human being who can neither benefit nor harm you. [SPEAKER_00]: When you feel lonely, when I mean benefit or harm you, meaning benefit or harm your soul and your identity.

18:31 [SPEAKER_00]: or what you hold inside your heart, when you feel lonely, smile. [SPEAKER_00]: Because you are in the company of the prophets, in the company of His companions, and the most righteous in my love's. [SPEAKER_00]: In the company of the angels, in my lost penata'ala loves, stand tall, hold the line, and remember, let them laugh today, because by Allah, the believers will have the last laugh.

18:48 [SPEAKER_00]: Barak Allah, O Fikum, Sallallahu A'anabinam Muhammad, alhamdulillahirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrahmanirrah