E323- Why Asking Your Dog to "SIT" Could Be DESTROYING Your Relationship

0:00 [SPEAKER_00]: if you've ever asked your dog to do a behavior and they look at you confused and then you reach for a treat and then they put their button the ground, you have successfully confused your dog. [SPEAKER_00]: If you've ever asked your dog to do a behavior and they don't do it, there's a reason for that.

0:24 [SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of people actually have taught their dog hand signals instead of the actual word, which is not only hurtful to your relationship, but it's potentially dangerous just because your dog doesn't actually know what you're asking. [SPEAKER_00]: So a lot of my clients deal with this on the regular.

0:39 [SPEAKER_00]: They ask their dog to sit. [SPEAKER_00]: The dog looks at them like they have eight heads. [SPEAKER_00]: They then reach for a treat. [SPEAKER_00]: The dog sits there but in the ground. [SPEAKER_00]: And this really goes for any behavior. [SPEAKER_00]: And this is just a facade of an understanding of a queue.

0:50 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's not the dogs fault, it's your fault. [SPEAKER_00]: So it's really important that you understand what you're doing and how you're doing this. [SPEAKER_00]: So again, I'm going to frame the question to you. [SPEAKER_00]: If you've ever asked your dog to do a behavior and they look at you confused, and then you reach for a treat and then they put their button the ground, you have successfully confused your dog.

1:09 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I want to talk about this because it's a real problem. [SPEAKER_00]: Dogs learn off of cues when we talk about behaviors anyway. [SPEAKER_00]: So conditioned responses, right? [SPEAKER_00]: So we talk about when we ask our dog to do something, we wanted to do it. [SPEAKER_00]: So if we say, hey, fight-o-sit, bang, we wanted to sit.

1:27 [SPEAKER_00]: We say down, they down, place, place, recall, et cetera. [SPEAKER_00]: So the word that comes out of our mouth is the cue. [SPEAKER_00]: And that kind of confuses people. [SPEAKER_00]: But let's just pretend that you don't know what a cue is. [SPEAKER_00]: A cue is asking Alexa to do something, right?

1:40 [SPEAKER_00]: So we say, hey, Alexa. [SPEAKER_00]: And then they respond with, what do you want me to do? [SPEAKER_00]: Right, so that's the queue, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Or a prompt into AI, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Chat, CBT, or something. [SPEAKER_00]: Like you want them to answer a question for you. [SPEAKER_00]: So the dog always needs to know what the actual verbal queue is.

1:56 [SPEAKER_00]: Of course, unless they're deaf, instead of other queue. [SPEAKER_00]: So what people make the mistake of is in the very beginning stages of training their dog, they take food, and this is the first thing they do. [SPEAKER_00]: They put the dog up into a sit, and the dog puts their butt in the ground, and then they pay the dog.

2:12 [SPEAKER_00]: And so unintentionally, you're not training the dog what the word sit means, you're actually training the dog that when you put your hand up in the air, that's the cue. [SPEAKER_00]: So the cue becomes your hand up in the air with the food and not the word sit. [SPEAKER_00]: So then when you ask the dog to sit without the food, the dog doesn't do it.

2:29 [SPEAKER_00]: And this happens literally. [SPEAKER_00]: I would honestly say eight times out of 10. [SPEAKER_00]: So about 80% of the clients that I work with who have a dog that come in, their dog doesn't know sit. [SPEAKER_00]: And that may sound crazy to people. [SPEAKER_00]: And people actually look at me like I have 10 heads.

2:46 [SPEAKER_00]: They're like, what do you mean my dog doesn't know sit? [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like your dog doesn't know sit. [SPEAKER_00]: It's right here, it's right in front of us, and it even goes sometimes further to a point where the owner is putting pressure on the dog, like pulling up on the leash and the dog is like, what do you want from me?

2:59 [SPEAKER_00]: And they don't know, because you have basically think, you think, and you, blah, blah, blah, you thought that your dog knows the word sit and they don't. [SPEAKER_00]: So it's really important for you guys at home to audit, whether your dog actually knows the word or the verbal cue versus the hand gesture or and a lot of times, I would say more than half of the time, the dog just smells the food and they put their butt on the ground.

3:23 [SPEAKER_00]: So they think, [SPEAKER_00]: When motivation is around, I do this thing and then I get paid, which is not good, because it doesn't create clarity, it creates confusion, because the dog doesn't actually understand the word. [SPEAKER_00]: So when you actually want your dog to do a behavior, they don't do it, because the context isn't there.

3:42 [SPEAKER_00]: And so for an example, this happens often with people with recall. [SPEAKER_00]: Another famous one, and a very dangerous one. [SPEAKER_00]: Sit is not so dangerous. [SPEAKER_00]: It just really is telling about your relationship that your whole training routine is predicated off of cues that you don't even know that you unintentionally taught your dog.

4:02 [SPEAKER_00]: to do, right? [SPEAKER_00]: So it's really confusing, but the recall for an example. [SPEAKER_00]: So what happens is a lot of people what they do is they let their dog off leash and they say, hey, dog come, the dog ignores them, so they beg with them, which is an awful thing to do. [SPEAKER_00]: And guys, as you know, I've been talking about this for years.

4:17 [SPEAKER_00]: I want people to be able to ask their dog to do a behavior in the dog does it the first time without any equipment, without any corrections, without any food. [SPEAKER_00]: The dog just understands what they ask. [SPEAKER_00]: That's always my objective. [SPEAKER_00]: So anytime I'm talking about dog training in a behavioral sense or even in an obedient sense, and the difference is when we're doing behavior modification, we're trying to change the emotional response to the dog, how they feel about certain things, and then obedient training is simply training the dog to do certain behaviors, down sits, day, heel, etc.

4:48 [SPEAKER_00]: So when we ask a dog to come, not only do they not know it, we're basically just saying, hey, look over here, I got something for you, is what we're really doing, like most times that's what dog owners are doing. [SPEAKER_00]: And on intentionally, we are doing two things. [SPEAKER_00]: We are teaching the dog that if they don't come, then that's fine.

5:04 [SPEAKER_00]: We're just going to keep begging them to come to us. [SPEAKER_00]: So everything is predicated off of what the dog wants to do. [SPEAKER_00]: Which is extremely hurtful to your relationship. [SPEAKER_00]: It makes dogs anxious and secure for your full and reactive and just plain not listen to you Damages your relationship and then also it's really dangerous because if you need your dog to actually come to you when you say come they won't so that's an issue [SPEAKER_00]: But furthermore, to my original point, a lot of people shake the bag of treats, or they squeak the squeaker, or they run away, or they're like, hey, do you want to go for a ride?

5:32 [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm going to say, yeah, so you are quite literally bribing your dog to do stuff, which again is awful. [SPEAKER_00]: That's like your kid's kicking and screaming and you go, hey, do you want ice cream? [SPEAKER_00]: Let's stop. [SPEAKER_00]: Let's stop. [SPEAKER_00]: So, you're unintentionally rewarding the behavior, and of course, you're not getting to the core reason of stopping the behavior and teaching the dog or even in that case teaching the kid that what they're doing is actually inappropriate.

5:53 [SPEAKER_00]: So, I digress. [SPEAKER_00]: So, it's important for people to know when they're shaking the bag of food or when they're holding the treat up in the air, they're holding their hand up in the air, your dog is not understanding what you're saying. [SPEAKER_00]: And I see this all the time, and people are kind of proud of it, where they're like, oh, oh.

6:08 [SPEAKER_00]: I asked my dog to sit, but I go, you're dog doesn't know, sit, they go, yeah, they do look. [SPEAKER_00]: And they go, boom, boom, boom, they do this whole, like, here's the treat up in the air, and the dog puts their butt in the ground. [SPEAKER_00]: I go, this is kind of embarrassing.

6:18 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let me explain this again. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, so it's really, I want, again, my purpose with any client that I ever work with. [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't matter if it's online or it's in person, or anybody that just watches my content anywhere, or listens to my podcast that we're on now, [SPEAKER_00]: I want you guys to have a healthy, clear relationship with your dog, at any age.

6:40 [SPEAKER_00]: When we develop behaviors, we want to teach the dog the very basics, just like we teach kids, ABCs, and please, and thank yous. [SPEAKER_00]: We teach them every day. [SPEAKER_00]: I have two young boys, and I tell them all the time. [SPEAKER_00]: They're young, and they forget things. [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of times they do say thank you, or please, but we have to remind them.

6:57 [SPEAKER_00]: I always try again. [SPEAKER_00]: Try again. [SPEAKER_00]: And then that way, when they grow up, [SPEAKER_00]: They're going to know their manners, because it's instinctual to them. [SPEAKER_00]: It just happens when they ask for something they say, please, when they get something they say, thank you, right?

7:09 [SPEAKER_00]: It's good manners. [SPEAKER_00]: And I guess that's subjective, because trust me, not everybody focuses on manners with their children, unfortunately, but same thing with dogs. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, when we ask a dog, look how to come, I want the dog to go, yep, got it, I'm coming. [SPEAKER_00]: And typically the way that we work is we teach the dog, if you come to me, you get paid and you get rewarded.

7:30 [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't come, there's accountability. [SPEAKER_00]: But further, even before that, we have to spend time teaching the dog what the recall command is before we actually apply it in reality, which is what a lot of people miss. [SPEAKER_00]: So the whole treat up in the air and the hand up in the air is getting lucky.

7:46 [SPEAKER_00]: You're basically what you're doing is the mechanics of a dog, right, if they're standing. [SPEAKER_00]: and they're looking at you, and they want the food. [SPEAKER_00]: If you raise the food over their head, they will sit because they don't want to flip over backwards, right? [SPEAKER_00]: So again, it becomes this facade that people think that their dog understood sit when really they don't.

8:06 [SPEAKER_00]: So I would tell people, audit your relationship with your dog right now at home, ask your dog to sit with nothing in your hand. [SPEAKER_00]: See if your dog does it. [SPEAKER_00]: Pull out a piece of food and then ask your dog to sit and see if they do it. [SPEAKER_00]: And the good news is, guys, if you guys are realizing this, you can make a change, but even worse than that, if your dog doesn't sit when you say sit and then you hold the treat up, hold the treat higher and see if the dog sits.

8:33 [SPEAKER_00]: And you'd be surprised how many dogs that are, or dog owners that are listening to this, I don't think any dogs listen to this, maybe they do. [SPEAKER_00]: That actually don't understand the command that we're asking, which is, again, it's really telling to everything else in your relationship with your dog.

8:47 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's a clear sign that there's probably going to be issues, right? [SPEAKER_00]: It would be like a mechanic hearing a bunch of clunking of like, well, there's probably more issues or somebody going into the doctor that smokes three packs of cigarettes a day. [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, well, I could probably predict how everything else is going to go.

9:04 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's just important for you guys to know that if your dog doesn't do a behavior without some sort of motivation or cue from your body, they don't actually know the behavior well. [SPEAKER_00]: And they don't know the behavior, why do we, and furthermore, why would we ever teach a dog a behavior [SPEAKER_00]: to not apply when we need it.

9:27 [SPEAKER_00]: What would be the point of that? [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I only want my dog to sit when I have a treat over their head. [SPEAKER_00]: I only want my dog to recall when I have a bag of food and their paying attention to me. [SPEAKER_00]: I only want my dog to walk next to me if I'm dangling a piece of food over their head.

9:39 [SPEAKER_00]: We would never do that. [SPEAKER_00]: That is extremely unrealistic for everybody involved. [SPEAKER_00]: We would never do that. [SPEAKER_00]: That doesn't make any sense. [SPEAKER_00]: When we ask our dog to do a behavior, we want them to go, oh, I know what that is because we've practiced it.

9:54 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to do it because I don't want to get in trouble, and I will get paid too. [SPEAKER_00]: So it's this whole balance because it works off two ways. [SPEAKER_00]: So the brain, the brain with everybody, pretty much everything on Earth, is in some ways selfish and narcissistic, where [SPEAKER_00]: When we ask a dog to do a behavior, if they are bored and kind of like, yeah, I'm just like not really stimulated anything and we say, hey, come here.

10:22 [SPEAKER_00]: They go, oh, I might get food. [SPEAKER_00]: This is going to be great. [SPEAKER_00]: And they come running and then you pay him a food or you pay him with a verbal payment. [SPEAKER_00]: Good, good, good come, but then the opposite end of that is simple. [SPEAKER_00]: If they're into rabbit poop or a deer or another dog and you say, come, they go, man, I really want to do this, but I don't want to get trouble.

10:38 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's the whole essence of like what some people would call balanced dog training. [SPEAKER_00]: I've, I've really started to explain it. [SPEAKER_00]: My friend forced Mickey actually introduced this to me of unlimited dog training. [SPEAKER_00]: So unlimited dog training is essentially we don't have any limits to the ability to work with the dog in front of us or the clients that we are communicating with at an international level.

10:59 [SPEAKER_00]: In some places I travel and I work in, there's different requirements and rules and regulations for tools and stuff like that and that's fine. [SPEAKER_00]: I can stretch and mold into whatever I need to to help the dog that's in front of me. [SPEAKER_00]: Or if a dog is absolutely dangerous in acting out of control, I'm definitely not going to be using positive free enforcement to train that dog because that's dangerous and it's just wasting everyone's time and taking money from people.

11:21 [SPEAKER_00]: So unlimited dog training pretty much works off those principles. [SPEAKER_00]: at a fundamental level we ask a doctor do something that they know because we've trained it well before we've asked it in reality. [SPEAKER_00]: If they do do it, there's a chance that they're going to get paid and they like that and they're thinking, oh, on my way to my owner as I recall, I'm going to get paid.

11:37 [SPEAKER_00]: And at least they're going to get verbally paid. [SPEAKER_00]: Good job. [SPEAKER_00]: Scratch in the belly, at least the dug up, we leave everything's gravy. [SPEAKER_00]: Right, and on the other end of this picture, I'm if the dog's like, man, I don't really want to leave this rabbit poop or playing with this other dog or even reacting, but I'm going to because I don't want to get how accountable by my owner.

11:51 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's like this dual system that really keeps your dog safe and you're always in the green because it works off of both intentions of the dog. [SPEAKER_00]: Or they know, well, if I don't come, I'm going to get punished and if I do come, I'm going to get paid. [SPEAKER_00]: So you have this double standard of if the dog.

12:12 [SPEAKER_00]: kids are very opportunistic just like dogs are and then kids of course grow up to be adults and that's why it's important to shape and mold kids to let them know if they do good yeah good job you did great in your test you studied you worked hard here's a bunch of rewards positive reinforcement right but then of course if the kid does something wrong like they need to know like they're always going to want to do something they don't they're not supposed to stay up later than they are eat the candy we told them not to [SPEAKER_00]: ride your bike without a helmet but they also know that there's consequences for that from us whether it's hey put your helmet back on who that was scary or okay you know we use a light negative punishment in my house negative punishment a lot of people think it's uh bad right negative is bad and positive is good that's again if you're watching this and you're listening to this I'm glad that I can help you understand these things because

12:55 [SPEAKER_00]: a lot of people think that and that's not it. [SPEAKER_00]: Negative is taking away positive is adding in the dog training world. [SPEAKER_00]: So we use a lot of negative punishments. [SPEAKER_00]: So if my son hits his brother out of frustration, we take away his books. [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks.

13:05 [SPEAKER_00]: So we punished him by taking something away. [SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, I digress. [SPEAKER_00]: So I want you guys to have a stable, healthy relationship with your dog. [SPEAKER_00]: It is totally possible. [SPEAKER_00]: I've done it thousands of times with people all over the world. [SPEAKER_00]: And I want you guys to just know at a basic level.

13:19 [SPEAKER_00]: How to do that. [SPEAKER_00]: So I hope that this podcast was helpful. [SPEAKER_00]: If it was, make sure you follow me on Spotify. [SPEAKER_00]: If you guys haven't yet, there's so many people who are listening to us on Spotify that haven't subscribed or followed us. [SPEAKER_00]: Make sure you guys do that.

13:31 [SPEAKER_00]: It would be super helpful. [SPEAKER_00]: And if you're listening to this on my second channel, make sure you hit that subscribe button. [SPEAKER_00]: We just put it. [SPEAKER_00]: We just hit 20,000 subscribers on my second YouTube channel. [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you guys for listening and watching and if you guys ever need anything for me You can work with me online directly via FaceTime or phone call by clicking the link in the description And I have a ton of courses and we actually just filmed three new courses advanced obedience course a Many series which are smaller Courses that are a little bit smaller in length and of course in price and that's the place command and the leave it command Which we're producing right now so there'll be out soon.

14:02 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you guys for listening and watching I will talk to you guys on the next one. [SPEAKER_00]: Peace