Halloween Special! Maldives Draft ft. Reilly Opelka, Tournament of Terror & Surprise Guest!

What's up, audio listeners? Just a quick heads up before we get started. We're all in costumes for this Halloween special. Just wanted to give you a little context before we dive in. Check out the episode on YouTube for the visuals. Hope you enjoy the show. All right, it's our Halloween episode. Yeah, that's it. Before the intro, let's... Stevie, you're Agassi, right? Yeah, good guess.

That's so good.

Yeah, it's a good one.

It's so good.

I like this one.

The hair feels right. I will say. Stevie, I think I know who John is. Do you think you know who John is?

Yeah, I mean, the cutoff Under Armour, I got to take the glasses off because I can't really see.

Don't look too much into the Under Armour.

Okay, because the Under Armour is just, what I immediately see is just Michael Russell, but I know that's not it, with the cutoff Under Armour sleeves, but it's not him. But the hair, I don't really know.

He's Jack Draper.

Right?

No.

Yeah.

Are you not Jack Draper?

I would look into the Under Armour logo. You said don't look into it too much. I would look everything into it. So are you saying you're not Jack Draper?

No, I'm definitely not.

That can't be Jack Draper.

I mean, he's got to go America. He's either Michael Russell or Robbie Ginepry.

With the Under Armour.

Like, what other guys were Under Armour?

Stevie's on it. He's on it. Big time.

Okay, so it's one of those two?

Yes.

It's Neps. It's Neps.

Robbie Ginepry. Robbie Ginepry.

If it's the Under Armour sleeveless, there's two humans that come to mind.

Exactly.

He was the OG. Neph was the OG before Russell. Russell pulled it off great. Yes, he did.

Neph was the OG before Steph Curry. He was the only Under Armour guy. He was the.

OG Under Armour cutoff. I wish I had the old school red bab.

That'd be unbelievable.

Neph would go one arm band up here too, though.

Yes. His wristband was huge.

I miss Nephs.

He's the best.

Mine's a little tougher.

Yeah, yours is tougher.

You just threw on an Adidas shirt and a headband.

You're Alexander Zverev. Yes, exactly.

Yeah, we need more gold chains.

Well, I only have one gold chain.

Dude, you actually look pretty cool in the headband.

Thank you. I might rock this to a school drop-off later. Is there no wig? Oh, there was a wig. I didn't know about my bags. Dude, you are such a Muppet. It's unbelievable. You're better than us.

It doesn't matter. We got them. All right.

Happy Halloween, everyone.

Can I take the glasses off?

Nope. You got to leave them on the whole episode. I can't see.

All right.

I'm hosting.

You don't need to read. Yeah, sorry. All right, everyone. On this episode of Nothing Major, it's our Halloween episode, and this is going to be a big episode full of lots of drafts. This is going to be fun, so let's get going.

We love our drafts. We do.

Big Jones, Stevie and Sam. Got close a few times, never won a slam.

Nothing Major.

All right, everyone, welcome back. We got Robbie Ginepri, Andre Agassi, Alexander Zverev here on the pod. Also, the suits at SIFT here with us as well. Happy Halloween. Halloween weekend. It's two days away. It's massive in America, obviously. I know people in other places celebrate Halloween too, but it's big in America, so happy Halloween. So what we got on the docket for today, we're going to do a tournament of terror. We're going to do a draft on what we think would be like the worst tournaments, right?

Pick like the worst venue, the worst transportation, the worst food, and so.

On and down the line. Locker rooms, yeah.

Locker room, everything like that. We're also going to draft... a player zombie apocalypse apocalypse team i love that say that uh you know if there was a zombie apocalypse who on our team men women we're gonna draft that and then finally john's favorite segment the.

Maldives draft we're gonna do a maldives.

Draft it's that time of year people are starting to get to the maldives we're gonna draft on who we think's going so with that Let's start our tournament of terror.

We are doing this. We're all making one, correct? Like as a combined unit.

No, I think we're all drafting and then we're going to decide like what's the best one.

Before we do that, on Monday, Sam, you gave me grief for not accepting the collaboration invite on our Santa Fe picture.

Fair enough. Deserved. I did accept it.

So I go back to the photo and I hadn't really looked at that photo in a while.

So I'm looking at the comments. Wow. A lot of hate on my outfit.

The skinny jeans. The skinny.

Yeah.

First of all, are they that?

Is it? Okay.

Yeah, they're skinny, dude.

I was reliably informed that you're not allowed to wear white pants after Labor Day.

Is that a thing?

Everybody knows that. That's like one of those things, but it's not a thing. If white pants look good, and I hate to say this, you look great in the white pants, you wear whatever you want.

Thank you, Sam. Are they... Okay.

Are those skinny jeans? Are they like two-form fitting, what I'm wearing? Because I know baggy is in. I will never go that way.

I'm not going into baggy. That's the stupidest.

You see these teenagers in my house wearing these baggy clothes who look like idiots.

Yeah, like these NBA players and they're like, you know, they walk into the games and their pants are this big.

I've gotten less grief had I worn those pants.

I think it's just the white.

Yeah.

I think it was just the white.

Yeah.

The thing is, the problem is I left, I have two pairs of Wranglers and I left them both in Wyoming. I'm very disappointed in that. Um, and I would have definitely would have looked better in the Wranglers. Um, But yeah, I got a lot of crap for my outfit.

Look into all the comments.

It is weird because you were the best dressed of the three of us.

I'll admit that. Well, I tried the hardest. I'm not saying I was the best dressed.

Well, yeah, Sam, the one night Sam couldn't find an outfit that was in a carry-on suitcase. That seemed impossible that he couldn't find it.

Yeah. He didn't.

It's pretty amazing. But he, yeah, the hat really pulled off. Look, nobody should be looking anywhere else but your hat in that scenario.

Yeah.

We love our fans. Sometimes they're wrong.

You got to have a good dialogue good banter with the people that support you that's it this is what they.

Come for all right all right um anyways i wanted to i just went through the comments and wow i know uh all right.

Let's let's you know who i wish i was instead of zarev like an eyepatch and i was the guy that mevidev hit with the ball in china.

That would have been good, but it's too late. You have a wig as well.

I have a wig somewhere at the house. I'll wear it next week. Two of the three of us locked in. Tournament of Terror. This is how we're going to do this. We're going to go around, so we're going to try to put together the worst tournament. We're going to start with location. We're all going to pick a location, and then we'll debate which one is actually the worst. Okay, so collectively, we're going to come up with the worst tournament here based on our picks. Did we have to play there? No, it's just any tournament that's going on.

You do not have to play there.

Okay.

And for the record, we love all these tournaments.

Yeah, this is hard.

We got to do it.

Okay.

So we're trying to build the worst tournament based on all the events that go on around the world. Let's start with location. Where's the worst location for a tournament in the world? Stevie, you'll go first on this and then we'll... I'd rather not because this is the only one I have blank. I couldn't figure one out. I didn't want to disparage anyone, which is unlike me.

Wow.

Okay. John, you go next. I'm going to go with Beijing. Okay. Let's stop that.

We were only allowed to pick one tournament.

Yeah.

On the Asian swing. You can only use a Chinese tournament one time. So this is your China pick.

This was an issue for me. I had one, but I just.

John's China pick is out the window with this.

He's going with Beijing.

All right. I'm going with, I've never been there, Marrakesh.

I think you're wrong on that.

I think I'm wrong too. I think I'm wrong too. It's one tough.

Yeah.

Um so collectively tournament that is that is still a tournament i believe so.

Yeah yeah so beijing i think we're coming with beijing.

I location wise yeah i abstain and i vote for beijing.

All right that is our china ticket so wait does that mean stevie can you and i still use china possibly for it.

Yeah because i didn't yeah i think so all.

Right next one worst tournament hotel i've got it i've got it too Stevie, you go first this time.

Eastbourne. Awful.

All of them are awful. Awful.

Eastbourne. Terrible. Eastbourne. Eastbourne.

They haven't been renovated since like 1949. Oh my gosh. And they're terrible.

Like Sir Duke of Ferdinand. I stayed in like, yeah, exactly.

They haven't figured out Wi-Fi. They haven't changed like.

Any of the drapery. The Duchess of Yorkshire. It's ridiculous.

The Duchess of Yorkshire.

Terrible. All right. That's good.

I had Basel. I remember the Basel Hotel like a long, long time ago. I thought it was very average.

Yeah.

I got one.

I think Stevie's going to win. The Ate Cusco in Madrid. Ate Cusco. Yeah.

For a master series too. For a master series.

Yeah, yeah. Ate Cusco.

The beds are on wheels. You just sit on it. It like rolls around. That was a good one.

Yeah. It's got to be Eastbourne though.

Eastbourne. It's just the worst, dude. I mean, I like the tournament itself. Stevie has pigeons in his room in Eastbourne.

Dude, I had pigeons. I will send a video of my room in Eastbourne. I will send it in. You guys will see it.

But the only thing I'll.

Say about Eastbourne is it rains so much there.

It's kind of like cozy in a hotel room when it rains.

No, it's not.

Okay, fair enough. We'll go with Eastbourne.

No, it's not.

I'm serious.

I will send the video. All right, next one, and I'll go first here. Tournament transportation. We're all going to have the same one here.

Yeah.

It's Rome, right? It's Rome. Oh, I put Shanghai.

What? Shanghai's the best. No, no.

Dude, the buses. This is pre-I do.

It's better now.

I know.

I know now.

But when we played for the 10 years or whatever, I was on this stupid little bus.

It's the Peugeots in Rome. Rome, too.

You would land at the airport. 50-50 on whether they picked you up.

50-50. Every single time. 50-50.

And then also, you'd say, look, it's me and a coach, and we have six bags. And they'd send like a two-person hatchback about this big we couldn't fit anything in there.

You know what i was doing the last three years i played room i completely eschewed tournament transportation and when i landed i booked a car service and i paid like 350 euros for it because i needed a.

Van how did you are bad you went on like a smart i like transport.com or something Yeah, 100%.

Very smart. And I got a giant transport van.

I just didn't get– because every single time, Sam, you said they would bring you one hatchback and you'd have to get a taxi anyways.

Yeah, exactly.

Or sometimes they'd just be like, oh, there's a football game going on.

No transport today. What are you talking about?

Nuts over there. Okay, let's keep going on. Yeah, that's a good one.

Food. Okay.

Okay.

I got it. We're back to John first with food.

This is tournament venue specifically.

Tournament venue food, not the city.

Delray Beach. Delray Beach.

Delray Beach. Yeah, it's awful. Delray Beach. It is so bad.

And it's actually gotten a little better.

Yeah. Okay.

So this is the first time we've all three had the exact same one.

Yeah.

Now having said that, you could walk a quarter mile and have great food everywhere at Delray Beach.

Correct.

But the tournament specifically is Delray Beach.

Only at the venue.

Yep.

No, that couldn't be more obvious.

All right, next one.

Now it's getting a little trickier. Facilities. Now, what venue is the toughest?

It's where we kind of wasted Delray Beach. Hold on.

Yeah, yeah.

I thought it was the same thing.

Facilities slash tournament director. I'm going to go with Rome. Old school Rome. The locker room, the laundry service was terrible. And the tournament director was a clown and a half.

I couldn't even tell you who the tournament director is.

He just was like anti-American. We played every day on a Sunday.

Just terrible.

Took nothing into consideration ever.

I don't remember. The towels were bad in Rome.

The towels were awful.

The locker room situation was bad.

Awful.

Man, I thought I had a decent one. Which one's yours?

No, no.

I'll go next. I got it. Mine was Vienna. Oh. It's tough.

And I'm always saying this because the center court's cool, but then like the practice site was, it's this one little court that's like 25 minutes away in a corner.

Is locker room slash venue one in the same? Yeah.

I would say this is facilities.

The worst locker room of all time is Newport, Rhode Island. Yes, it is. Not anymore. What are you talking about?

They got a new one over there.

They didn't redo that one side, did they?

No, I'm saying the new building that they built. I was just there for Rogers Hall of Fame induction.

Oh, okay.

They have a new one over there.

They redid it.

But I'm with you.

Yes.

Pre-remodel.

It was disgusting.

Basically, the showers there were carpeted. Yeah.

It was so disgusting. It was like a carpet shower. It was the nastiest thing of all time. All right, hold on.

I actually never showered there for like 10 years. I just walked back to the hotel.

Yeah, I wouldn't shower there either. You couldn't shower there. It was that bad.

All right, so this is either Newport or Rome.

No, no, no, no.

Newport.

What did you say, Sam?

Vienna, but mine wasn't even that good. Vienna would be strictly.

I'm with you, though.

Oh, and you know what? We already used Rome for transportation. We can't use it again. I know. Yeah, yeah. Vienna locker room, Vienna practice court. Maybe we go Newport, but it's a little asterisk and it's Newport pre-remodel.

And it's only the locker room because the venue is amazing. Yeah. It's tough. All right. Well, I don't know. But hold on. There's not.

I mean, most of the tournaments, to their credit, are pretty good. Yeah, they're very good.

Yeah.

They're nice places, nice venues. That's tough. We're going to go practice court in Vienna. You know what? I got it.

What?

What do you got?

I got it.

Madrid. Locker rooms are brutal, dude. They are brutal.

Honestly, most European locker rooms are very stale.

Talk about a cold facility, the big Chipotle box.

Can we come to a consensus there?

I'm kind of with you on that one. Yeah, I'm with you, too. You've got to walk across that gross little river to go lose to Rob.

You've got to walk across that gross little river with the three-eyed fish.

Almost all the tournaments in Europe could use an interior decorator just to warm it up. It needs to be softened.

Yeah.

It's just like one stale bench across the locker room. Yeah. Yeah.

And there was like in those showers you hit and the water turns off after five seconds.

You have to keep hitting it. Yeah.

I get about water conservation. Like I'm all about that, but like trust us to be able to at least turn.

The water off.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The 25 second button timer.

Yeah.

I like Madrid there. All right.

Madrid.

Madrid is taking it.

Yeah.

Okay, next one, Chair Empire. I feel like we threw that in last minute or I missed that. I like all the Chair Empires.

Yeah, I'm not going to do that.

We're skipping the Chair Empires.

I'm not trying to get fined again in the afterlife.

All right, last one. The afterlife. All right. I abstain.

Last one in our Tournament of Terror, the Court. This one is a little tricky because courts, especially hard courts, can change over years. Sometimes they're slower, sometimes they're faster. I think I've got it. I'll start. I feel like I've gone first of all. I've already played this tournament. Hamburg.

I feel like it's slow clay.

That's a good one. Really my only reasoning. Yeah. Hamburg.

Interesting.

Okay. I have one, but it's not going to win. I'm saying Queens, but I know it's not going to win.

That's a personal vendetta.

It's the most dangerous court in the history of the sport. It's dangerous day one. It has ruined people's careers, that court. True.

On day one.

Ask Delpo. Okay, okay, okay.

I mean, if you're a tournament of terror and it's tricky, you've got to go old school Newport, Rhode Island grass courts. Those things were nasty.

They were diabolical.

They were diabolical. Look, I loved them. Look, John and I loved them. We were great there, but they were diabolical. You could not practice on them. They were entertaining, but they were– If you got a short ball and you let it bounce, you might not be able to get it.

But I'm– yeah. But did we use Newport?

No, we didn't use Newport.

No, we didn't.

We went with Madrid.

So I'm glad we pivoted there.

But a cold– like a Hamburg on one of those cold days where everyone in the crowd is bundled up? Like you don't know that?

It sounds awful. It sounds awful. I think the other one is– That's.

Just like– my elbow hurts just thinking about it. No, no.

It's the one– I think your mistake is saying you got to go Munich. Dude, it snows there.

Half the time.

I did see that in Munich. It's Munich.

Sasha will be out there playing like a semi with like pants and a sweater on because it's snowing.

I think it's, I think Stevie though, it is.

And you got, John knows too. You won this for me. Old school Newport prior to them redoing the courts was one of the most.

It's a nightmare, but it's fun. If you dealt with it, it was great. But if not, like you were in a mental press.

So to recap, location was Beijing hotel, Eastbourne, the transportation Rome, The Food, Delray Beach. That's the only one we all three have the same one. Facilities, Madrid, and the Court, Newport. That's the ultimate tournament of terror that just would take players down left and right.

Doesn't matter where you're looking. Someone in it.

We're going to get withdraws everywhere. We're going to get Manorino winning that thing.

By the way, don't tell us we're too American biased. We have two American tournaments on there.

Yeah, it's true. Yeah, yeah. Good point.

Sometimes you get a lot of hate for that.

To be fair, one of those tournaments in America could have a lot more on the list.

Yeah, yeah. That is true.

Is there anything worse than we make a little jab at Europe and in the comments? I hate being the comment. We're like uncultured Americans as if we all haven't been to every city all over the world 25 times. Yeah, it's a good point.

It's a great point that I make.

All right.

That was good.

That was Tournament of Terror.

That was fun. I really enjoyed that. I did, too.

Now, I'm not like a zombie guy, but we are good. You guys ever watch Walking Dead? John, I feel like you watched that and loved it.

I watched it. The first couple of seasons were really good.

Steve, you ever watch that?

Everything I watched was pre-kids, so... Yeah, true. I mean, I don't watch it anymore.

I've been dialed into Internet Invitational. I know.

I'm with you. It's so good.

Oh, is that back on?

Yeah, yeah.

The first episode is five hours.

Five and a half hours.

Yeah.

Stop it.

Yeah. I have it all just in the background during the day.

You've also been dialed into the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, which is still the weirdest thing I've ever heard in my life.

It's not weird.

It is weird.

It's like a.

It's so weird. I'm not dialed into it. I'm just like.

Pop it on Monday night after the football.

Oh my gosh.

Moving on all right we're now we're going to build our zombie apocalypse team if there was an apocalypse this is like an anisimova thing for me.

How it's an apocalypse apocalypse apocalypse all.

Right um all right we're gonna pick three players each it could be atp or wta this one we're gonna snake draft and then Afterwards, we're going to debate on who we think has the best overall team. So let's start. John, you can go first. No, Stevie, you're going to go first this time. You were supposed to go first last time.

That's okay. I can go last.

I'll take a swing around.

All right.

I'll go first then. My number one pick for my zombie apocalypse team is Savalanka. She's not going to be afraid of any type of zombie. She's going to be on the front line. She is my 1A pick for zombie apocalypse. Also, when someone's been picked, you can't pick them again.

Yeah.

Give me Patrick Kipson.

Yeah, that's a good one. Is he.

He's handy with the crossbow.

Yeah, yeah.

Wait, really?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's actually.

Yeah, I mean, he enjoys hunting and yeah.

Ah, I didn't think about that.

But Sam Wanker's a great pick.

No, but Kipson, the crossbow.

You gotta have some useful skills out there.

He's... What's his name from Walking Dead? The guy with the crossbow. That's it. I don't know. Never watched it. That's good. Daryl. That's it. Daryl.

Yeah, those suits put it in the chat.

Oh, sorry.

All right, Stevie, go for it.

I mean, I'm gonna be american heavy here i'm gonna go colton smith on the same vein that john just mentioned very handy in the outdoors like we'll skip many tournaments to just go hunting so that's a good sign all.

Right you get the next yeah you get picks three and.

Four now I've got a couple Americans on there, but I'm going to go off the beaten path here with a Masters 1,000. I'm going to go with Alejandro Davidovic-Volkina.

He's fast. He's strong.

And he's got a couple screws loose. You need that in this environment.

I thought about that, too.

Yeah, he's got a couple screws loose.

I think that's a good pick.

You need that. I feel like he would just charge right at a zombie.

Exactly.

Like, I'm not doing that. So you need somebody else to do it.

Yeah, you're probably not doing that.

All right, back to John for a second pick.

I feel like I pick this guy every single time we do a draft, but I'm going back to him. Hamad Medvedevich.

No. Yeah.

No.

Give it to me. Dang it.

Yeah.

He's not scared. No, he's not. That is good. That is.

I feel like he could like take a zombie and just like crush their brains with this bare hand, you know?

Right.

He's thick too. You want a thick team. Yeah.

Yeah. That was my, I thought I was going to get a late one there.

In the third round.

No, no, no.

Yeah.

All right.

Over to me now. I'm going Rublev.

Okay. Yeah.

Yeah.

Handy.

Dainty.

Maybe.

But again, just like the no fear. That's kind of the theme of my team.

Just like.

But can't you picture him with his racket just like chopping him down?

Anger, just smashing him down. And then my third pick, I'm going Bublik. I don't know about that one.

It's a little risky.

I don't know. He could join the zombies. He could flip. But he's my third pick too. I feel like you want people that are just... Outside the box, a little nuts at times.

People with anger.

I'll take– it's a bit of a bailout.

I'll take Novak because he's very cerebral.

Like an outsmart them?

He could devise a plan, huddle people together, devise a plan as to get out of a jam, you know. Hamad and Kipchen are going to go into the front lines and open everything up on his plan.

That's not bad. That's not bad.

All right, Stevie, your final pick. Yeah, I don't know which way to go with this one. Pick somebody to be useful or pick someone that I'm faster than, that I don't die for.

Yeah, yeah, right?

Pick someone to sacrifice.

That's actually a great plan.

I had Kekmanovic on there. I think I can outrun him.

But I'm also.

I'm going to go with... Actually, I'm going to pivot.

I'm going to go with Shelton. I want somebody with raw power. I need some strength out there. I've got just... Straight raw power from Shelton.

Okay.

That's not bad. That's not bad. All right. Can we get a little recap in the chat here? And we can go over the team. So, Stevie, read your three.

I got Colton Smith, Davidovich Fokina, and Shelton.

John, your three. I have Patrick Kipson, Hamad Medvedevich, and Novak Djokovic.

And I have Sabalenka, Bublik, Rublev.

Who do we like?

What do we like the most here? I think I like John's team.

I don't feel like I like Sam's team at all.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. All right.

Fine.

Rublev is a wildcard pick. I just don't.

Yeah.

You don't really.

I don't know what you're going to get there.

And same with Bublik. I mean.

Same with Bublik.

Yeah.

All right.

Fine.

I agree with you guys.

I agree. I like John. Patrick. He sold me on Patrick Gibson with the crossbow.

Yeah.

You got to have somebody handy with the outdoors.

Yeah.

Exactly.

I do like.

And that's where you. Colton's a great pick. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what. You know.

It's me or Stevie's team. I like John's team the best. Yeah.

It's fair.

Yeah. I don't know.

I like my team.

I like your team too. But I guess two of the three like John's team, so we're going there. We'll never know. All right. Now it's time for some real fun. The Maldives draft. As we know, we did this last year.

A three-draft show.

We did this last year. This is going to be another big year in the Maldives for ATP and WTA players. We also have a– We have breaking news. We have a Maldives correspondent, which we had last year, Riley Opelka. He is in the Maldives. He'll be there all winter, basically, just letting us know who's vacationing where. But here's a little update from Riley Opelka.

Hey, guys.

It's Riley here, the chief Maldives correspondent. And I'm stoked to be covering... Another year, this upcoming offseason. And I'm picking my top four Maldives participants. And I think we'll just start with Zverev. He's the easiest one. He'll be the number one seed in the Maldives again. He's there every year. I think our second one's Medvedev. That'll be our two seed. He's already stated in his press conference, I think, that he'll be there. So that's an easy one.

My third one's a bit of a stretch. I think he's been there, but I'm going to go with Fokina. He's played a ton of matches at the end of the year. For some reason, when I close my eyes.

I just visualize.

I see an Instagram story of his breakfast on a platter just floating in the Indian Ocean. And then last, you know, the only way you'll get me to pay attention to any movement in the doubles market is if it's regarding the Maldives. So I'll go ahead and take Henry Patton and... And whoever he plays with, I could see them going like halfsies on a villa.

Oh, that's so good.

Ay caramba.

Thank you, Ryan.

That's incredible.

The movement in the doubles market. What a line from our Maldives correspondent. So we can't pick the same people, right? Yeah, don't pick anyone, Riley. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to snake draft. Each of us is going to draft four players that we think are going to the Maldives this year.

Do we have to, like, is it more like bonus points if we go off the beaten path? Yeah, exactly. If we draft a Maldives rookie, right?

Rookie is worth two points and anyone outside the top 25 worth two points.

Yes. These are the rules.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I like that rule.

I like that rule. Yeah, these are the rules.

Can't do the same player. And then obviously Medvedev, Zverev. I can't see.

I got to take this off. Can't do Sabalenka, right? She goes there. She's a Maldives veteran.

Exactly.

But we are going to, we'll be like, this is the easiest thing in the world to track because they all get hotel deals.

Yeah.

I would love if we could figure out like who's getting the hotel deals and who's.

Paying for it. If any of them are paying for it.

All right.

Who's going first? Let's fire up.

I'll go.

Stevie, you go first.

You haven't gone first yet in the draft.

Karen Hatchinoff. I think he's going to be a sneaky Maldives guy.

Yeah. Has he been there before, or is he a potential rookie? I don't know. He's been there. Has he?

They've all been there.

I can't remember.

Who's next? You're next. I'm going Rafa Hodar. I don't think he's been there before. No, I don't feel like he's there.

He's going to be too tempted.

With the offer. He's going to be too tempted with the offer. Oh. Oh, all right. He's been to the Maldives, so you only get one point if he does go. He's like an ambassador. Yeah.

Ugh, okay.

I'm going to take.

I'm going hodar they're they're gonna want them and yeah yeah that is really good okay i'm gonna go with um another rookie in arthur feese oh i had him i think this maldives year is gonna just be full of rookies i feel like the french don't do the maldives i know but that's why i'm going i want the double point here.

He's like he lives in dubai or somewhere i feel like he's going Again, like all.

Of a sudden the agent emails you, hey, here's five nights at a Maldives villa, all-inclusive.

Just a couple posts.

A couple posts. You were hurt a lot of last year. You had a strong end of the year.

Feast.

It's too tempting for Feast.

Too tempting. Give me Arthur Feast. Stevie, back to you.

We're just going to go. We're not going to snake draft it. We're just going to go boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Stevie.

I'm going to start going off the beaten path here to get points. I'm going to go with random doubles guy, Jan Zielinski. I think he's going to end up there.

Georgia Bulldog.

That's a good one.

I think he'll end up really good. The Howard Johnson Maldives.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. He's more– Howard Johnson Maldives.

He's staying at the hotel that's attached to the airport.

Correct.

Oh, my gosh.

You're going to see a small post, but he's going to get like a 50% off discount.

Small post.

He's got to take the car to the city to eat each night. He's not getting the swim-up platter. God, that's a good pick. That should be worth five. If Zelinsky's at the Maldives, Stevie gets five points. Yeah, it's unreal. I'm keeping notifications on.

It could be in some insider trading. Do you know something?

Yeah, me and Zelinsky.

I had a wig.

Do we have that?

It's over there? Are you getting a latte?

Such a.

Yeah. It's ridiculous.

I'm not asking for these, just for the record.

Okay, my turn. Camille Myhock. Good one.

I like it.

My.

Yeah.

Camille. Yeah.

The more Eastern European you are, the more likely you are.

To hit them all. Exactly. Yeah. Camille. What is this? It's a wig.

Is this a woman's wig?

This is freaking wild, dude. But it's like.

I like it.

Okay.

Yeah. I actually don't hate this for me.

Dude.

Let's get, let's go to Turkey and get these.

Do you know how to put it in a bun? All right.

Let's, let's keep going.

All right. Let's keep going. It's over to me. It's over to me. I'm going to go with another new guy, Arthur Ferry.

Yeah.

I thought about it.

Wimbledon run. He's a, I think he like is born in the South of France. So that's the only thing that makes me hesitate. He's probably got from what I hear, a nice setup there. I just think he's going to be too busy. I think he likes the finer things in life, and the Maldives is fine. So give me Arthur Ferry. Stevie, go for it. I'm going to go Daniel Merida. Another good year.

God, you have a strong team. Yeah, good year. If it hits.

If it hits, yeah.

But like strong team. I think that like the girlfriend is like really involved in the life. You see her at every match. So I think she wants to go to the Maldives, right?

You know what?

You make such a good point. The players that have serious girlfriends are much more likely to go to the Maldives because the girls are going to want to go.

Correct.

Like she sees the post, so she wants in. You got to reverse this.

I feel like Feast is single. I don't like my pick now.

I can't go back. No, he can– He's single. You know, he brings someone with him.

Yeah, good point. That's also a good caveat. Yeah, you're trying to impress someone. Hey, how about five nights at the Maldives?

Okay, I'm up. We have three or four picks. Four picks. Okay, Linda Nashkova. Top ten. Yeah. But I feel like she's Maldives worthy this year.

Yeah.

Does she post a lot?

I have no idea.

Okay. Going with Linda.

Okay, over to me, over to me, over to me. My list of potential picks is like the entire ranking. Yeah, I've got a lot here. New guy on the pod. We just had him last week.

Block X. You're going with Block X? I'm going with Block X.

Should have asked him. I feel like two, you know, the Northern Europeans want the sun a little more than some of the other countries. You get into Norway, Sweden, Block X, Belgium. No, I know, but just that general region.

What?

Are they near each other, those two?

We're talking about Belgium and Sweden?

Yeah.

I mean, like, yeah. I would say more Scandinavian.

Yes. I know Belgium's not in Scandinavia, but it's adjacent. Okay.

I'm just saying it's not Spain.

I feel like he might go to, like, Portugal or somewhere, like, coastal there.

Well, we'll see.

Again, I'm shooting for the bonus point. All right.

We all get one more pick.

Back to you.

I've just been infatuated with this. I've got to keep going with the girlfriend portion. I'm going to go with Talon Grigsbor after a title because of Potapova.

I think she wants to go. So we're going to see him there.

I mean, that's the lock of the century. Just a two for one. You should get both of them.

I mean, Potapova and the Maldives?

Yeah.

It's a really good call, dude.

I had to pivot.

After hearing Kachanov has already been there, he's an ambassador to the West Indies or whatever this place is.

Like, I had to pivot. It's a Greek sport.

Yeah. But you're still keeping Kachanov.

Yeah, I already took him.

What do you want?

Okay.

My first pick.

All right.

My last pick, I'm– oh, man. Nashuva's been there before. It's only a one-pointer potentially.

It's a bad pick.

Tough.

No value there.

No value there. The guarantee is nice though.

I'm going– yeah, the guarantee is nice. Yeah, like you bird in the hand. Wow, she's totally going back.

Unbelievable. Okay. I'm going Matteo Arnaldi. Yeah.

Yeah.

He's not married, too. It's a honeymoon. It's a honeymoon.

Dan might have inside information there.

I don't.

Okay. All right. Just check it.

You may have inside information from a family member.

Matteo Arnaldi.

Good one.

I like that. Although, they live in Australia part-time. That's like a lot of times they go early. It's a risky pick. I am going to go with... This one feels– I was going to do Shapovalov, but it feels too obvious. I'm going Arthur Gia.

I can see that.

Yeah.

Yeah. We won't even– Cabo winner. I don't like that one. Okay. I think– Something about the French. I don't feel like the French do the Maldives.

That's a value pick there late in the draft.

I know. I feel like maybe– Mr.

Irrelevant was just picked.

Yeah.

We'll see.

Maybe it is– Yeah.

We'll see. I like it.

I like our draft. Naturally, when you do these things, you've got to post the pictures. You've got to do a little clinic. Maybe the French are a little irritable at the clinic with the guests.

I don't know.

Maybe that's why they don't get asked to go to the Maldives. But over the next couple of weeks, we have our draft. We have our team of four. What's the native language of the Maldives?

Well, it's right in the heart of the Indian Ocean. Okay. Hindu? No. That's a religion.

That's not even a language, dude.

Oh my goodness.

I don't know. The official national language of the Maldives is Devehi.

Oh, I don't know. Alright, well we'll.

Track these over the next four weeks. I'm excited for a couple bonus points. So many players are going to go to the tour. We'll not only track our team of four, we're going to track everyone we'll have.

Let us know let us know who you think is going to go to the mall do some off the beaten path picks yeah also send us i love when the fans send us uh yes of like oh this person's.

They are fun i love that i love that yeah agree i like that we all went off the beaten path a bit there yeah that's more fun that way yeah all right to end this we got we got some fan horror stories you guys send in some good ones um we're gonna read a couple first what.

That's the oracle He's back.

Unbelievable.

Oracle, you're back.

I'm from the clouds. Good morning.

Oh, my gosh. Oracle, you are back.

Oh, and just outdoing everyone on Halloween.

Well, you know, I got a last-minute invite, and I said I can do it, but I'm going to be at work. So I couldn't get put makeup on. So I had to give you all my natural look.

Oh my God.

Oracle, what are the, what are the Halloween plans for you?

Oh man.

You can imagine how busy it is this time of year for us. I don't know. I think I'm just going to make some predictions and, And, you know, fight off some monsters. You know, nothing. Just mystic stuff. Just general sort of mystic stuff. I love this.

Hey, Oracle.

Oracle, are you aware of how much you were loved on social media? We don't know if you have social media, but everyone's asking for more Oracle.

Yes. Somebody came up to the temple and told me about that. And I was very flattered. I was very flattered. And yeah, that's that's good news. You know, oracles, you know, monsters and witches and everything. They always get a lot of pub around this time. But, you know, oracles are, you know, we got some skills, too.

Absolutely.

Incredible. I don't know if you pay attention to this in tennis. All the players go to the Maldives for their offseason. We just did a Maldives draft. He knows.

Oracle knows.

Give us two or three players you.

Think are going to the Maldives. Oh, who's going to the Maldives? Well, I can't say who's going to be in my little hut that's over the water.

No, of course you're going.

I'm going to go strong with Feast.

I picked Feast. Sorry, I love this.

Okay, Feast, and I'm going to go with. Oh, Anisimova.

Oh, an American.

I like that.

That's a good call. We didn't choose one American.

I don't think an American's ever gone to the Maldives.

Yeah, it is.

Somebody knows something.

It is a schlep. It is a schlep. But once you get there, it's worth it.

It is.

What's your favorite part of the Maldives?

Just the... Her favorite.

Thing to do in the Maldives. Wait, he's been to the Maldives? Of course he has. It's the Oracle.

Yeah. I would say just snorkeling. Snorkeling. I'm a big snorkeler.

It's so good.

Hey do you want to stay on we're almost done but we're gonna do uh some fans wrote in some fan horror stories do you want to hear you want to react to them as we as we write them as we read them.

Oh yeah yeah i'm i'm very sensitive so i might faint or something but go ahead yeah.

Uh that time of year first one this is from will turner i hope I lost to a one-armed 60-year-old. They were previously a righty, forced to become a lefty. Some would say Nadal-esque. The loss haunts me. I don't think Will's very good at tennis. Pretty.

That's tough for Will.

Yeah, Will might want to look into pickleball. Yeah.

All right, this next one is my favorite. This is anonymous. A buddy and I had grounds passes to Wimbledon 2012. I was pumped to watch Maria Kirilenko. I think we all remember her. When I found a seat, I realized I'd sat next to Alex Ovechkin, the legendary NHL player. who was her boyfriend at the time. I asked him for a quick selfie and he was happy to oblige.

A few minutes later, my buddy Sam joined me.

That's not me.

Sat in the row behind, leaning over my shoulder, not so quietly saying, dude, Kirilenko has an incredible backside. Now I realize why you wanted to watch her. I heard it, and Ovechkin heard it.

Embarrassed.

Offered him a fist bump. He did not give one to me. That's brutal. That's uncomfortable.

That's uncomfortable. Yeah, that's a nightmare.

But it's a compliment to Alex.

Yeah, you're actually right. It is a compliment.

Yeah.

Don't hockey players just beat people up, though? Exactly.

You're not doing that at Wimbledon. It's a safe place.

Yeah.

All right this is another this is jennifer i've been dating this guy for just over a week we both shared a love for tennis so i invited him to watch me play doubles on a saturday morning it's three two in the first set i raced out wide for a ball swung at it somehow lost the grip on my rack and my racket slipped on the somehow lost grip of my racket and it slipped on the clay I fell face first and broke my jaw. My racket bounced over a low fence and connected with a child's head.

My new man took me to the ER and we've been together for seven years. So not only did she break her jaw, the racket flipped over the net and hit a child in the head.

I feel like that one's excusable because you broke a jaw. Like, if she wasn't hurt, that's, like, tough. But, man, that's tough. That's a bad sequence of events.

I can't imagine a broken jaw. It's got to be one of the worst things ever.

For sure. Yeah.

I don't know, but you're lifting up your head and you see some kid with the racket sticking out of his head.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's also not good.

That's not. That's not good.

Oh, man.

Also not.

Do you have any other horror stories, Oracle, besides... Basel, the Pakistani who you can't.

Beat. We love Basel on the show. We'd love to bring on Basel.

I think I broke a racket one time. I had a method of throwing my racket when I was mad, but I called it the helicopter. I would throw it, and it would be horizontal, and it would land in the grass, so I wouldn't break it. Smart thing.

Get it going this way. Yeah.

We have to pay $ 200. We're not like you guys. And I didn't do it successfully. And I hit the chain link fence. And, you know, it was a nightmare.

Yeah, it's a nightmare.

Look, I have Andre Agassi, the Oracle, and Robby Ginepri. Hi.

Oh.

Hey, kids. That's the Oracle down there. I got my headphones in so they can't hear, but they say hi.

Okay, no treats. No treats, only tricks.

Exactly.

Hey, this guy says no candy this year at Halloween.

You like that rule?

No.

Oracle, thanks for joining us, man. Man, this is seriously, thank you. Best surprise we could have gotten.

That was fantastic.

I got a lot to do. Thanks for having me. You guys look pretty scary yourselves.

I mean... Yeah, this wig's getting quite itchy.

Yeah, it's like you're hippies or something. I don't know what you got going on, but I wouldn't want to run into you on a tennis court, that's for sure.

No part of this.

Question, do you know how to exit the app now? Uh.

No.

No!

Wait, this. Wait, you can see my finger going towards the. Let's see. Share screen, mute my computer. No, I'm not going to go through. Can't you guys, don't you guys have the power?

Here's the good news for you. The episode is over, so we're all leaving now. That's our Thursday episode. Happy Halloween, everyone. Mr. Oracle, thank you for the surprise. Oracle, beautiful.

Thank you. I had a ton of fun. Have a good Halloween.

You as well, Oracle.

See ya. See ya.

Later.

I'll just fade to black. Here we go.

All right.

He's just going to keep the video on until we have him on.

There we go.

See ya, fellas.

So funny.

He's so good. Holy crap.

Oh, my.

Gosh.

Nothing, nothing made you Nothing.

Nothing made you.

I like these shirts. I'm going to start wearing these more.

It does fit in for you, minus if you're doing mayoral duties.

Yeah, they're comfortable, man.

Outside of a mayoral duty, this is you doing big trap bar deadlifts in the gym.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Exactly right.

Looks nice.

Halloween Special! Maldives Draft ft. Reilly Opelka, Tournament of Terror & Surprise Guest! | EP 227

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