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We spend much of our lives building our careers. We chase success, recognition, and expansive networks—yet despite all of it, many of us still experience a quiet, persistent loneliness.
In this episode of Office Hours, I turn to Aristotle and his work, the Nicomachean Ethics, to ask an age-old question: what makes a good friend? I’ll explore Aristotle’s three types of friendship, and suggest something that sounds counterintuitive: the best of friends are perfectly useless. I also share four practical ways to deepen the friendships you already have, and cultivate more of these useless relationships that create real meaning, deeper happiness, and a life well lived.
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Where to find Arthur Brooks:
• Website: arthurbrooks.com/ (arthurbrooks.com)
• In-person Retreats: retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ (retreats.arthurbrooks.com)
• Newsletter: arthurbrooks.com/newsletter (arthurbrooks.com/newsletter)
• X: x.com/arthurbrooks (x.com/arthurbrooks)
• Instagram: instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/… (instagram.com/arthurcbrooks)
• Facebook: facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/… (facebook.com/ArthurBrooks)
• YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A… (youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A)
• LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/… (linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks)
• Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com
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Timestamps:
() Intro
() Why close friendships are essential to happiness
() What a healthy friendship ecosystem looks like
() Aristotle’s three types of friendship
() Real friends vs. deal friends
() Friendship step #1: Give yourself a friendship checkup
() Friendship step #2: Identify the people who truly know you
() Friendship step #3: Go deep or go home
() Friendship step #4: Make more friends that you don’t need
() Q&A: Adjusting to home after a year abroad
() Q&A: Building better habits
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Referenced:
• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness:themeaningofyourlife.com/http://themeaningofyo…
• Meaning Membership:hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership
• Arthur’s newsletter:arthurbrooks.com/newsletter
• The Happiness Scale:learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale
• The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks:thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur
• Why You Should Want to Be Alone: theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/07/hermit-s…
• I Matter to My Friend, Therefore I am Happy: Friendship, Mattering, and Happiness: experts.nau.edu/en/publications/i-matter-to-my…
• Friendship and personality as predictors of happiness: link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10902-006-9…
•The average American has three best friends: the-independent.com/life-style/friends-adults-…
• Social Support, Social Strain, Loneliness, and Well-Being Among Older Adults: An Analysis of the Health and Retirement Study: psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-05698-001
• ...References continued at: arthurbrooks.com/office-hours (arthurbrooks.com/office-hours)
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