My husband FAKED a severe allergy for years…I want to leave him! | Reddit Stories | ft. Kwesi James | EP3044

0:00 Hey, this is Riley. And this is Dakota, your favorite OK Storytime host. And we've got some great stories coming up. But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

0:11 My husband faked a deadly allergy for years. I want to leave him.

0:15 Oh, damn.

0:17 When I met my husband and we started dating, he told me that he was very allergic to a certain food. We avoided certain restaurants on dates. He was always careful what he ordered when we ate out. And the first time I cooked for him, I purged that food from my apartment and basically sterilized my kitchen.

0:34 Do you have any guesses?

0:36 Ah, peanuts.

0:37 Peanuts is usually peanuts.

0:38 Ah, strawberries.

0:40 Strawberries?

0:40 Specifically strawberries.

0:41 My wife is allergic to strawberries, and I don't even know if it's true. The whole family doesn't know. The whole family's like, no, I don't think it's true.

0:48 I don't buy it. So it's something like this.

0:50 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a lot to talk about when I get home.

0:54 Okay.

0:54 You're like, prove it. He showed me his EpiPen and explained how to use it. When we moved in together, we made sure there was one in the house, one in the car, and And I always had one in my purse. Don't you kind of like have to go to a doctor?

1:08 Yeah.

1:10 What doctor was like, yeah, here, take this EpiPen.

1:12 I feel like the doctor, well, come on, especially if it's like the US, they're like, you paid for it.

1:17 You know what?

1:17 We're not going to question it. You're allergic. Cool. Go for it.

1:20 Word, word, word.

1:22 My family knows and they avoid using that food at family events. And my husband is still extra careful about what he eats. Last weekend for my brother's birthday, my sister-in-law made dinner. One of my nephews has an allergy, though different from my husband, and my sister-in-law is very diligent about keeping him and my husband safe.

1:41 Uh-oh.

1:41 She gave us two Tupperware dishes of leftovers, and the one for my husband had a different colored lid. When my husband ate the wrong leftovers, both me and my sister-in-law panicked.

1:54 Oh, it's about to get real.

1:55 Uh-oh. My husband said even having his food prepared with utensils that touched the food he's allergic to would be enough to give him a very bad reaction. He told me stories of it happening as a kid, but he ate the wrong dish of leftovers and nothing happened.

2:14 Oh, snap. Either he didn't know, he. Is lying.

2:19 Yeah.

2:20 Or he's not as allergic as he think he is.

2:23 That's what I was thinking. Like maybe he just kind of grew because sometimes you can like grow out of an allergy.

2:29 Right.

2:30 Right.

2:30 Or manifest it. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, I want to eat it. Or somebody like misdiagnose. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

2:37 It could be that. It could not be him lying.

2:39 It could be like his mom.

2:40 Yeah, his mom was like, you're allergic.

2:42 We don't eat that. Right. And then you're allergic.

2:44 But for some reason, I think the plot is going to thicken.

2:46 I think you're right.

2:47 You know who this sounds like?

2:48 Who?

2:49 Riley. Riley was like, I can't have shrimp.

2:52 No Ray.

2:52 Yeah, no shrimp, nothing. And he's like, wait, I can have shrimp.

2:56 Yeah, he's like, I lied.

2:57 I lied.

2:58 By the way, this comes from throwaway64111862. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash showcase story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.

3:07 I'm Keon. And we have a very special guest here today. Can you introduce yourself?

3:10 Yo, I'm Kwesi James. First of his name. Come on. I'm out there.

3:14 Yeah. And Kwesi's going to help us read these stories and give some fun jokes and advice.

3:21 Let's start. Let's get into it. Are we getting into this story now?

3:27 Yeah, we're getting into this story. All right, cool.

3:28 I'll wait.

3:30 Are you about to take some notes? You're like, what do I say to my wife?

3:33 I'm playing Columbo in my head.

3:37 You're figuring it out. All the facts and all the clues are coming, but I'll wait.

3:43 Does your wife have an EpiPen?

3:44 No, but do you have EpiPen? Is there any allergy?

3:48 I think it's like for severe, like.

3:50 Yeah, like a severe allergy.

3:52 Really?

3:54 It's just adrenaline.

3:55 That's it?

3:56 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

3:57 This gets you to the hospital?

3:58 Yeah, basically.

3:59 Huh.

4:00 Yeah, because I have a friend who has severe, severe allergies to like six different things. And so he's always got his EpiPen on him.

4:07 No, we don't have EpiPen in the house, but it's been told the whole family knows.

4:11 Yeah. Meaning her family is like, yeah, Courtney's allergic to strawberries.

4:14 Avoid. Wheat.

4:15 Everyone is like, but really?

4:18 Are you sure?

4:18 Yeah, yeah. So we'll get to the bottom of this.

4:21 He confessed to me and my family that he was never allergic. Oh, all right.

4:27 That was easy.

4:28 He just doesn't like that particular food, and when he went to university, he started saying he was allergic because that was better than looking like a picky eater.

4:36 Bruh.

4:37 That's crazy.

4:39 See how lies just compound?

4:41 Yeah, he's like, I didn't know what to tell you. I've been saying this lie since college.

4:46 I have a body in the basement.

4:48 He's like, I have so.

4:49 Many other lies I need to tell you now. His mom passed away before I met him. His parents were divorced, and until he was an adult, He didn't see his dad a lot because his dad lived in another province.

5:00 Because he keeps lying.

5:01 He just keeps lying. So his dad, his friends, and even his own family thought he was allergic. The panic I felt when I thought he ate something that would unalive him is something I could never describe. My sister-in-law thought she did unalive him. I can't believe he's been lying since the day I met him.

5:20 That's crazy.

5:21 That's crazy.

5:23 Would this lie be enough? Like if you found out that your wife had a deathly allergy and that she actually was just lying about it the whole time.

5:35 Yeah, what if your wife was like- And you were changing.

5:38 Your whole life around it. Like you were cooking, like you were sanitizing the kitchen every day and telling everyone to be careful.

5:45 Yeah.

5:47 Oh, well, let's just start here. Yeah. I love you, sweetheart. From the bottom of my heart.

5:52 Mm-hmm.

5:52 I love you, sweetheart. All right, this is a test on forgiveness.

5:55 Yeah.

5:56 This is a test on if someone is not well in a way, and how do I forgive this behavior to find change behavior?

6:06 Yeah.

6:06 I just seen a movie similar to this where the couple... We're about to get married, playing a game.

6:13 It's a movie. It's out.

6:14 Is this the drama?

6:15 Yes. Okay.

6:15 Don't spoil it.

6:16 Yes.

6:17 Okay. I haven't seen it yet. Got it. And at the end of that moment, I was like, oh, forgiveness.

6:24 Wow.

6:25 I don't have it.

6:26 Yeah.

6:27 I don't have it. It's hard for me to be like, wait, what? Why go so far? Why do so much to keep this lie alive?

6:37 Yeah, it is very interesting in this case because he did go really far. Like everyone around him. Everyone around him was like playing into this.

6:46 They had EpiPens everywhere. He could have just said everywhere. Wait, how'd they get the EpiPens? I mean, again, like I said. That's what I'm saying.

6:52 Insurance cover that?

6:54 I guess so. Who paid for that?

6:55 I don't know. Taxes?

6:57 We paid for the EpiPen, bro.

6:58 We're paying for his EpiPen?

7:00 Yeah.

7:01 Unbelievable.

7:02 Yeah.

7:02 I just need to get it off my chest how furious I am at him right now. Any advice? We have an update nearly four years later.

7:11 I'm doing something real fun. I go, all right, the meal that we're eating, whatever you're allergic to, we're eating it for the week.

7:18 Wow, yeah.

7:19 You're getting used to this. I don't care. I don't care if you.

7:22 Don't like it.

7:23 I miss eating.

7:24 I know.

7:24 I don't know.

7:25 I'm trying to think of like mushrooms.

7:28 I like mushrooms. Shrimp. It was like shrimp.

7:30 Yeah.

7:31 I love shrimp. We're doing bubble gum. True.

7:32 Yeah.

7:35 I'm trying to think of something that is very common to have in kitchens because she said she purged her kitchen.

7:42 I think it was like peanuts was the easiest one.

7:43 For a long time.

7:44 Yeah. So I'm thinking like peanuts or mushrooms maybe is something that he said he was allergic to.

7:50 I said we're growing up.

7:51 Yeah.

7:51 We're going to grow up this week.

7:52 Right.

7:53 You're trying this food because I like it. Because if Opie was like, eh, I don't feel anything to it. I don't care about it.

7:58 She likes it.

7:59 He changed everyone's lives because of this lie.

8:04 He's been telling for so long.

8:05 Do you think that they're going to stay together four years later? Because we're about to jump four years.

8:11 Well, does he save animals?

8:13 Yeah.

8:14 Is he a really good person? Does he save animals in his spare time? Yeah. Is he really attractive? Does he give swimming classes to like youth?

8:21 Yeah.

8:21 You know what I'm saying? Does he do things that's like, oh, this outweighs.

8:25 Is this his worst trait?

8:27 Exactly.

8:27 And he's really good at it.

8:28 Right. He's not giving swimming lessons to kids. To the youths. No, to youths. Yeah. In a city. You know what I'm saying?

8:35 If he's not paying parking tickets for people or putting quarters in meters, no.

8:42 We're done.

8:43 It's over.

8:43 Well, let's see if she's staying. Nearly four years later. The long and short of it is that we are in marriage counseling.

8:52 Makes sense.

8:52 Okay, four years later.

8:54 Wow.

8:55 Yes, and I'm not trying to sound dramatic. When the situation with the leftovers happened, my husband apologized to me for making me panic and for his lying. He admitted to being a picky eater, and while a lot of people were upset with him, I thought that was the end of it. I tried to let it go, even though it bothered me how he went so far as to carry an EpiPen for an allergy he doesn't have.

9:17 But this wasn't the only lie, and I've been floundering. He lied about receiving a scholarship for University for Athletics, and then losing it because he got injured. Okay, so now we're finding out that, as you said, it wasn't the only lie.

9:31 This is compounding.

9:32 What's his real name?

9:35 No, leave him.

9:36 Leave him. He was never recruited for a sport. He applied to university the regular way and took student loans like most other people do. He lied about spending a season working in Antarctica before we met.

9:48 What? What is Homeboy's problem? Why is he lying about these things?

9:52 He's never even been there. He lied about restoring an old automobile. He bought it fully restored, but when he goes to car shows, he says he did it wrong. it all himself. There are a million other things, and it's basically been a bomb in our relationship. I know. And to have proof there are things he didn't lie about, his mom did pass away from a terminal illness. That would be insane if he lied about that. That would be like diabolic.

10:18 But at this point, sadly, not far-fetched.

10:22 I know. I wouldn't, you know, I could believe he would lie about that.

10:25 Yeah.

10:26 Because he's lied about everything else.

10:27 I mean, what is that called?

10:29 Oh, like a chronic, yeah, pathological liar.

10:32 Pathological liar. Psychopath.

10:35 And it says, I don't want to, yeah, something's obviously wrong where homeboy needs some type of therapy.

10:40 Because it seems like, yeah, that is a pathological liar if this is someone who lies about really small things for apparently no reason.

10:47 And big things, too. I would be like, I don't know you. I don't trust you.

10:51 It's big things that seem to grow into, or small things that seem to grow into bigger things.

10:56 It's the snowball effect.

10:57 Seems like a lie. Seems like a regular lie to me. Yeah. That can happen.

11:01 Because it's not like, oh, my mom passed away. He's not lying about that. He said, oh, well, I'm allergic to that.

11:06 Yeah.

11:07 But then it becomes a much bigger thing because now everyone's catering and around him.

11:11 And also, we have to admit, like, yo, it's really hard telling the truth.

11:17 Yeah. Like, especially when you're wrong.

11:20 Yeah.

11:21 Like, to, like, fess up to something.

11:23 Like, it takes, like, either you get checked as a kid or at some point in your life.

11:28 Yeah.

11:29 So, like, for instance, my roommate, his dad had a really expensive car. And he... scratched that car so bad on the side of the house. So bad.

11:39 And I'm like, oh, just say it was a Mercedes model.

11:43 It was an S, S class. Very, very, very brand new.

11:48 Dad makes a lot of money and he destroyed the side of his car.

11:53 I mean, he just scratched it on the wall.

11:54 And I was like, oh man, just say someone bumped into the car and he stopped me.

11:58 He's like, no, man. I got to do the hard thing.

12:01 And I was like, damn.

12:05 Damn. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

12:08 He's probably giving swim lessons to the youth.

12:11 Exactly. He's a good guy. Exactly.

12:15 That's crazy.

12:17 When you're doing something wrong, it's sometimes really hard because it's so easy to lie.

12:22 To get the pressure off of you. But I don't think there's any pressure on homeboy.

12:25 No.

12:26 It's just plain lies.

12:28 Until I guess OP was like, is there anything else you lied about? He's like, well, and unrolled the scroll of all the lies.

12:36 Right. Oh, my gosh.

12:38 He's like, you know how I said I loved you?

12:39 Another lie. His dad lives in another province and wasn't involved in his life.

12:46 This is true. Canada. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

12:51 He has a law degree and works as a lawyer. My husband's excuse is that he lies so he can feel better about himself. And that's why he doesn't lie about big things like his dad not being involved in his life growing up.

13:04 Is this man Robert Ford?

13:06 He could be. He could be.

13:08 I think it's Robert Ford.

13:09 I think we cracked the code. Yeah, it's... It's a little concerning that he is a lawyer and a real, like, I imagine that he's a really good liar.

13:19 Right, right.

13:19 I mean, he must be.

13:20 And just so you know, if you don't know who Robert Ford is, Google. Yeah. The premier of Ontario. Fun fact for Kweisi James. We're a fact show now. Yeah, and he's dead.

13:33 Oh.

13:33 Sorry. Bummer.

13:34 Yeah, I think OP, I don't know how you come back from this. All of these lies.

13:39 So would you end the relationship?

13:41 If I found out that he, like, not only, if it was just the allergy thing.

13:45 Yeah, what's the cutoff point for you?

13:46 I think, I think, I find out the allergy thing. I'm like, okay, you know, that's pretty hurtful. We go to counseling.

13:52 Yeah.

13:52 Maybe I get over that. But then when I find out that it's, there's like a hundred other things.

13:57 Yeah.

13:57 That he's been lying about. To me, to make him look better to me.

14:01 Yeah.

14:01 I'd be like, why do you need to look better?

14:03 Right.

14:04 You know, what about our relationship has made you think? That you can't be yourself.

14:08 I dig that. So what is it? The third lie? The fourth lie?

14:11 The third lie? The three lies you're out.

14:12 The three lies and you're done.

14:13 Okay.

14:14 That's enough. Yeah. Oh, something's wrong.

14:17 Yeah.

14:18 Something's wrong.

14:18 I did look it up. I wanted to see what he was allergic to. I couldn't find it. But there is a comment from the post that we're going to finish. But the comment from Yeah Rocco says, these are not the only lies. These are the only lies that you know about.

14:31 Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

14:32 He could be still lying about whatever.

14:35 Yeah.

14:36 A lot.

14:37 Yeah. Like, every time he talks, you're like, was that a lie?

14:39 Yeah, was that true?

14:40 Or is that the truth?

14:41 I don't know. You start questioning yourself, right? Yeah.

14:44 Like, what about our relationship is even true?

14:47 Goodness gracious, what? That's work.

14:50 Because then it, like, I feel like then you start to think, oh, well, because we read so many cheating stories. And you're like, well, if you can lie about all this, what's to say you can't lie about something bigger?

14:58 Yeah. And it seems like he's just not good at it. No.

15:03 No.

15:03 Well, kind of. I guess he did hold up for like four years.

15:07 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

15:07 So he's okay at it.

15:08 Because who questions the allergy except me or my wife with strawberries?

15:12 Yeah.

15:12 But who questions the allergy? Hmm. It's because... It's hard to put someone on the spot. I don't know.

15:18 You probably figured it out. You're questioning the strawberry.

15:22 My wife's mom questioned the strawberries, and I was like, huh.

15:26 Maybe I should question it.

15:27 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my wife doesn't really lie.

15:33 She's like, yeah, but it's hard to put someone on the spot when they have some type of allergic reaction.

15:39 You just don't know.

15:40 We did this with my buddy growing up. He was like, I'm allergic to ketchup, but then he's eating pizza. We're like, oh, because you're like, okay, is there something in the ketchup that you can't have?

15:49 Right.

15:49 He's like, no, no, no, I just, keep that away from me. I'm really allergic to ketchup. We found out later that he, again, is just a picky eater. And he's like, I don't like, he's like, please, I don't like ketchup.

15:59 I had a friend who, like, said that they were really, or they didn't say they were allergic to it, but they said that they're like, I can't eat sugar. Can't eat sugar. And I was like, oh, okay. And so they avoided, like, anything sugary. And I thought they were allergic to something because they were really, you know, adamant that they couldn't eat it.

16:16 Yeah.

16:16 But then I realized, I was like, they drink a lot of soda.

16:20 Got it.

16:20 Like, actually, I don't know what your vibe is because you just drink so much soda.

16:24 Yeah. Goodness gracious. Well, my cutoff point is two lies. Mm-hmm. Two lies, and it's like, whoa, now I'm questioning, like, I'm questioning friendships.

16:36 Yeah, we won't even get to a third.

16:38 You know what I mean? Yeah, there's no three lies. Like, One lie, shame on you. Two lies, shame on me. Three, it won't even get there.

16:45 Yeah, we're not there. But we got a little bit left. For about a year and a half after the leftover situation, things were normal, even if people couldn't understand why he lied about an allergy. Then more lies came out. I haven't left because we have a five-year-old. We are in counseling because we are both children of divorce, and I don't want that for my son. My family and friends say I should leave, but I'm trying to work on my marriage for my son's sake. I'm floundering. That's basically what's going on and where I'm at right now. And we've got some relevant comments. Polyester says, What happened to the nephew who also got his food switched? Great point.

17:21 They were both allergic.

17:23 OP says, My nephew never had his food switched. My sister-in-law gave us two containers of leftovers to take home. Oh, and my husband ate mine instead of his own. When asked how she got an EpiPen, she says, In Canada, you can purchase them at the pharmacy. A prescription isn't required.

17:40 Dang.

17:40 Shout out to Canada for that.

17:42 I'm just saying. Big maple leaf right there for you.

17:46 I guess it makes sense because it's not specific to an allergy.

17:50 Yeah.

17:51 But yeah, that's interesting that you can just over the counter get that.

17:54 My uncle, who used to live with us for a minute, he was adamant, like, oh, I don't eat meat.

18:01 I don't think he looked down on us for eating meat, but he's like, oh, I don't eat meat.

18:04 I remember one time I woke up really late at night and my mom made some lasagna and I saw him eating it from the Pyrex dish.

18:11 And he's like, he's so good.

18:13 He didn't even put it in a plate, dude.

18:16 He opened the floor and just went crazy on this.

18:20 I think it was like baked ziti or something like that. I don't know what it was. It was something with... It was piled of meat.

18:25 Right? He smelled it. He's like, I can't.

18:28 He's been doing this for years probably. Yeah. Behind our backs. Dang.

18:32 I remember, I don't eat meat. And I remember, so the first year that I, I used to go to Catholic school.

18:38 Yeah.

18:39 And for Lent, I remember in high school, I gave up meat during the week and then I would have it on the weekend. And I really liked meat before, but on those weekends, I craved it so much. It was crazy. I was rapping in the mornings. I was doing a bacon wrap thing. I didn't even like bacon that much before. And then the next year, I fully went off and it was fine.

19:04 It was done, yeah. You got over it. The transition.

19:06 The transition.

19:07 Oh, trans is so hard. It is.

19:09 I mean, it's hard from being a liar to, like, not a liar. You can get used to these things.

19:14 Yeah. And it becomes part of your identity.

19:16 Yeah.

19:17 And I would imagine this lying thing is a part of his identity.

19:20 Yeah. I mean, he changes who he is.

19:23 Yeah.

19:23 You know? Like, that's... Like, if you've introduced yourself as someone and then... Everyone in like, you know, everyone around you gets to know that version of yourself. It's like, oh, shoot. If I tell them none of that is true.

19:36 Yes.

19:37 You know, who do they?

19:38 Yeah.

19:38 And sometimes I think it's nice to be it's nice, but it's not cool to be a social chameleon.

19:46 Yeah.

19:47 Right?

19:47 I'm going to make myself fit in or change the way people look at me.

19:53 So that group likes me.

19:54 Because that group likes me. And it doesn't matter.

19:57 Yeah.

19:58 It's like, why do you need to fit into that group? Wouldn't you want a group that accepts you?

20:02 Boom.

20:03 And I also feel like sometimes you forget who you are.

20:06 Bruh.

20:06 It's like, what version am I?

20:08 Yep.

20:09 And what lie did I tell that I forgot I told? I tell so much lies. How do I keep up with this? Yo, guess what? If you don't lie, it's less work.

20:18 It's true.

20:19 I mean, you don't got to think about any conversation.

20:21 Because you'll slip up eventually. Exactly. Someone will catch you like, wait, didn't you say that?

20:26 You're like, oh, wait, wait, wait. I thought you didn't eat me, Uncle Selwyn.

20:30 He's like, no, what are you talking about? I said I didn't eat me during the day.

20:34 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell the truth.

20:37 Tell the truth. That's the moral of the story.

20:39 Yeah, it's hard in the beginning, just like anything else, but it makes your life so much more easier.

20:44 So I did some sleuthing.

20:46 Yes.

20:47 We still don't have a confirmation from OP what the food was, but a lot of commenters were like, cilantro or tomatoes?

20:55 Oh, interesting. Yeah, those are other things that could be in the house a lot.

20:59 Yeah.

20:59 Yeah.

21:00 Okay. I have a friend that's very, very allergic.

21:05 To uh bell pepper oh and it's bell peppers and a lot of things.

21:10 Yeah yeah because they're so chopped up and like.

21:12 Yes yeah oh yeah this is bell peppers and so many things and like yeah i don't.

21:18 And i don't think i don't think he's lying.

21:20 Yeah i have a friend who's allergic to my my friend with severe allergy is allergic to all dairy eggs peanut butter and shellfish so what does.

21:29 Your friend eat air He's actually a really good cook.

21:33 It's kind of just like being vegan, but also you eat meat. So he can have meat, fish, and then it's just like being vegan. Minus peanut butter, I suppose. But yeah, it's actually surprisingly, I think because he has so many food restrictions, he's had to become a very good cook.

21:52 Got it.

21:52 So, like, if you ever ate dinner with him, you wouldn't even think about it.

21:54 But restaurants is just like.

21:56 Yeah, restaurants, he just has to be like, hey, I can't eat this. So, like, can you, you know, take the food out? Yeah. So he has to be pretty.

22:04 Shout out to everyone with allergies out there. Like, man, it's tough. I don't know how it feels. I don't. I just don't like coconut. I'm not allergic to it, but it's just not my thing.

22:14 See what I just thought I did? You see what I did there? That's cool.

22:18 You know what? If you care that I don't like coconut, I was like, I don't care.

22:23 Yeah.

22:24 So what?

22:26 Oh, really? So what?

22:28 That's what I don't like coconut, and that's okay. Yeah.

22:33 This is a safe space OP's partner for not liking certain fits.

22:38 But what are you going to do, OP? I don't know.

22:40 I guess you get to try.

22:41 A rock and a hard place. For real.

22:43 For real. I wouldn't want to stay there.

22:45 I know.

22:46 What it is is a great lesson for your five-year-old. Just like, yo, you don't have to be like this.

22:54 Yeah, I would be worried to stay in that relationship because I wouldn't want the five-year-old to learn, oh, it's okay to lie about anything. And there's no consequences.

23:00 Rock and a hard place. I don't know. I guess buy some dice. Yeah.

23:06 Magic eight baller.

23:06 Buy a magic eight baller roll and see what happens.

23:09 Yeah, it's... I don't have any advice for anybody getting divorced or staying together.

23:14 It's not my call, but man, it's that tough.

23:17 But we got another story that we're going to get into. My husband prioritized his mother's comfort over my health. I confronted him.

23:27 Stop it at all costs.

23:29 I have celiac disease. Okay, we're getting back into the allergies.

23:33 Common theme here.

23:35 So I cannot have gluten, wheat, which is flour. I am particularly sensitive and cross-contamination can also cause a reaction. My husband and I do have a shared kitchen. People sometimes have snacks that contain gluten or food such as pizza or chicken nuggets that are made with gluten-containing flour. However, we do have separate utensils, meaning he has his own flour sifter for gluten-containing flour, his own pots for gluten-containing noodles, his own shelf in the pantry for gluten-containing snacks, his own plates and bowls for the foods that contain gluten.

24:09 I guess gluten's just that good to him.

24:11 He's like, I can't give it up. Gotta keep it. The rest of the kitchen we share, as those are used with things that do not contain gluten. My husband invited his mother over to watch the World Cup game and said they would make pizza. I had no problem with this. I had made my own pizza the previous night and had leftovers. When his mother arrived, they went to the kitchen and began making the pizza.

24:34 Oh, snap.

24:35 By the way, this comes from Rooster2041. And if you want to smit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Sophia.

24:43 I'm Keon. And we have a very special guest here. Let them know who you are.

24:46 Quase James.

24:47 Thank you so much. Tell us a little bit about yourself.

24:50 I'm on the internet.

24:52 He's on the internet, folks. And now he's on our podcast.

24:56 I like how you took my advice before. Change it up.

24:59 Change it up.

25:01 It's cold outside. It's freezing. Thank you so much for joining us.

25:08 You're welcome. You're welcome.

25:12 Thank you. Opie says, I was in the living room with our niece watching a movie. I could hear them talking and my husband asked her to begin sifting the flour. He explained that it could be slightly hard if you fill it too much as it is a little older. She asked where the electric one she got us was and he explained that we don't put gluten in that one because wife uses it for her flour. Mother-in-law then asked where the strainer is so she could use it as it would be faster. It was then quiet.

25:40 Whose house? Wife's house? Husband's house?

25:41 This is their house.

25:42 Their house? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mom's visiting?

25:44 Yeah, mom's visiting.

25:45 Let's continue. You know what that.

25:46 Means for the son? It's her house now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

25:50 Oh, okay.

25:51 I walked in to get more water and saw them using the strainer that is not supposed to have gluten in it. They then proceed to get cheese and pepperoni out of the bags without washing their hands first, meaning they touched gluten and flour first. then put into a bag of ingredients that is shared between us.

26:09 Whose house?

26:10 There's still their house.

26:12 Mom? Wife's house? Husband's house?

26:14 Wife's house.

26:14 Who's visiting? Mom. Continue.

26:17 So I will no longer be able to use these ingredients. I now have to go buy a new strainer, cheese, and pepperoni for myself. He saw I was upset and apologized. I'm not sure he would have apologized if I wasn't visibly upset. My kitchen is the one place in the world where I'm able to feel completely safe.

26:36 Who's kitchen?

26:36 This is her kitchen.

26:38 Who's visiting?

26:39 Mother-in-law.

26:40 Continue.

26:41 I don't have to worry about getting sick because we have what I guess you could say are procedures in place. This has made me feel unsafe in the one place in the world where I'm supposed to feel safe.

26:52 Mm-hmm.

26:53 I have explained and educated my husband on my disease, and this is why we do things the way we do in our kitchen.

27:01 Whose kitchen?

27:02 Her kitchen!

27:03 Who's visiting?

27:04 Mother-in-law!

27:05 That's right!

27:06 He has even gone as far to suggest things that I haven't thought of to make the kitchen safer for me. Because my husband already has the knowledge of my disease and is very aware of what to do and not do in our kitchen, it feels like he was just doing those things to please his mother. Even if it meant inconveniencing me.

27:26 Who's he married to? His wife.

27:28 And not married to who?

27:29 His mother.

27:30 Continue.

27:31 Any advice on how to handle this or talk to my husband about this without making it seem like I'm overreacting? We've got comments. We've got an update. But what do you think? Is OP overreacting in her kitchen?

27:46 Yo, you said it. Her kitchen.

27:48 It's her kitchen.

27:49 Her house. Her house. What did I do when I came in here, when I came through the front door?

27:53 You took your shoes off.

27:54 Because I felt that this was a non-shoe place.

27:58 Then you felt right.

28:00 You felt it. You know what I'm saying?

28:02 You felt it.

28:02 I was like, you know what? I think I'm going to take my shoes off too.

28:06 And people don't do that sometimes.

28:07 Oh, wow.

28:07 People walk in and they keep their shoes on. I'm like, but you didn't. I didn't even have to ask. You knew.

28:13 I'm like, I see shoes by the door.

28:17 You know, it's just like, ah, I don't think this is a place with no shoes because I respect your place.

28:23 Thank you.

28:24 Yeah.

28:25 Wow.

28:26 I feel so seen.

28:27 And for someone. Yeah. For someone to invade your space. Yeah. Like the Spartans invading Troy.

28:38 Exactly. Speak on it.

28:40 You know what I'm saying? To just do that. To come in with what you think is like family vibes, like a Trojan horse.

28:48 Yeah.

28:49 She's bringing in the Trojan horse full of gluten.

28:51 To just break through the gates and just do anything anyway because I have an allergy. I have celiac. Yeah.

29:00 And you just do that because you think that's okay. And then your husband, your partner, your dog, your best friend. The person where you say, I do.

29:10 The snake. Yeah. He brings the snake inside the home. It's ridiculous. And it's so easy. He could have just been like, oh, mom, we can't actually do that.

29:20 Because these are the rules.

29:21 These are the rules in our home. We can't do that.

29:24 Yeah.

29:24 It's not that hard.

29:25 These are the rules. The person where I have the best seat in the house for their life, the front row seat to someone that I love, that I want to protect, that I cherish. I feel like her husband is not really taking care of her in a way that sucks.

29:45 That also is crazy. They have so much gluten in their house already, so he really is not impacted in his day-to-day life. It is pretty easy for him. And he can't even follow the one rule of just like, wash your hands, and don't use my strainer.

29:59 Right.

30:00 That's it.

30:00 It's not like, oh, don't use my slippers. It's like, yo, I may get sick.

30:03 Yeah.

30:04 No, it's like, it's not because, oh, I don't want you to use my stuff. I could, like, you could affect my whole body.

30:12 Yep.

30:12 My whole body's going down.

30:13 And I don't know too much about, like, this disease of celiac. I don't understand. Like, I don't, I don't.

30:19 But I imagine, like, yeah, like, this is, it's serious. Yeah. Like, come on.

30:22 It's different than gluten. So gluten intolerance is just, like, You know, you get an upset stomach, and it's, like, not good. But celiac is a lot more intense. Like, you can go to the hospital and stuff like that.

30:33 Yeah, yeah.

30:34 Because I have a cousin who has celiac.

30:36 Yeah.

30:37 And she, like, can't eat it at all.

30:38 Right. I would imagine.

30:41 Whoever she lives with, hopefully they respect the space.

30:44 I would hope so.

30:45 Yeah.

30:45 I would hope so. Yeah.

30:46 And then also, mom, no disrespect. It is hotels, bro. Yeah.

30:51 You can stay somewhere else.

30:52 If you want to do whatever you want to do.

30:54 Or we could cook at your house.

30:55 Or we could cook at your house. Yeah, we could cook at your house.

30:57 Who's more disrespectful here? Is it mother-in-law or OP's husband?

31:03 Well, I think Opie's husband knows the rules. Mother-in-law is just coming in and is like, oh, can I use this? Can I use this? She doesn't know the rules. He knows the rules, so he, I think, in my mind, is the most disrespectful.

31:14 Oh, word. Word, word.

31:17 Because if, like, you came in, let's say, like, I have another roommate or something, and you came in, or maybe like, let's say Keon welcomes you into the home, and you're like, oh, do I need to take my shoes off? And Keon's like, nah, nah, nah. You know, like, Keon knows the rules. You don't know the rules.

31:31 I'm not gonna get mad at you. I see, I have an idea.

31:35 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

31:35 Of like, oh, there's, there's, there's, there's like, yeah, there's the shoes over here.

31:40 There's two sets of strainers.

31:40 That means, take the shoes.

31:42 Off, but Keon is like, no, take the shoes off.

31:43 I'm like, no, this is an alternate universe.

31:45 I know.

31:46 I respect, I respect the house.

31:50 As a visitor, come on.

31:52 Yeah, for real.

31:53 But I mean, yeah, it's the husband.

31:56 That's the truth, yeah. What's happening? You have separate utensils and everything in between.

32:02 Buy your own strainer if you need one.

32:04 Follow the pattern.

32:05 It's easy. But we got comments.

32:08 Hey, this is Riley, your favorite Southern belle.

32:11 We're going to get back to these stories, but here's three minutes worth of ads from our sponsors.

32:16 Comment one says, firstly, that really sucks. Did you say he has his own sifter for gluten flour? Did they use the electric sifter that you heard him tell her he couldn't use for gluten flour? If so, that's also just kind of crazy that she had been told no and why and simply didn't care about your health.

32:35 Yeesh.

32:36 OP says, yes, they were originally using his own sifter, but it takes longer since it's older and cannot be filled up all the way. But they did not use the electric one because he did say no and explain why, which is why I'm having such a hard time understanding why he couldn't have done the same thing with the strainer and continue to use his own sifter. Okay, okay, so there was two things here, and there is an update.

32:59 There was a sifter that they both had their own sifter, and... He didn't use her sifter. He used his own, but then they needed a strainer and he used her strainer.

33:10 So it was like a my bad.

33:11 Yeah, I guess so. I don't know.

33:13 It was like, it wasn't egregious.

33:15 It doesn't seem as bad because the electric sifter seems like it probably would be harder to clean.

33:20 Yeah.

33:21 But she's, yeah. So, but like still, so he said, oh, we don't, we can't use this one. But then it didn't continue to say we can't use that for the sifter. So he could have kept that pattern going.

33:32 Yeah. But didn't, which is weird.

33:35 I mean, I think a small mistake, your partner may end up in the hospital.

33:41 Exactly.

33:41 Which sucks, but everyone makes mistakes.

33:44 Yeah, I think just talk to him about it. But let's see if conversation works.

33:50 Okay.

33:51 Update. I wanted to address some comments that I did see. Celiac is a severe disease, but it is different for everyone than has it. What works for one person may not work for another. The procedures we have put in place in our kitchen have worked for me my entire life. The procedures that worked for me growing up in my household I brought with me as I transferred into adulthood, and they have continued to work. My husband has always been willing to learn about my disease and what he can do to help and how to handle food. He's advocated for me and supported me time and time again.

34:22 Celiac has a lot of nuances that can be hard to learn unless you're living it, but he has put in the work to make me feel safe. To clear some things up, I do need to replace the strainer. This is part of the nuance of my disease that not everyone understands.

34:36 Hold on. He needs to replace the strainer.

34:39 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

34:39 He needs to go out and get you a new strainer.

34:41 Oh, word. Yeah, I see, I see.

34:43 You don't need to replace it.

34:45 He needs to replace it. I see, I see.

34:46 Yeah, get it.

34:47 Yo, yeah.

34:47 Go get that strainer.

34:48 Yo, yeah. Come on. Come on.

34:50 Yes, it was a shared strainer, but in the sense that we both used it for things that did not contain gluten. Anything that is shared in our kitchen doesn't have gluten in it. My celiac reactions, I do get pretty sick when I get gluten. I get incredibly bad stomach pains, many bathroom runs, headaches, brain fog, etc. My husband has seen this and is aware. He knows this is a real disease and has never made me feel like it wasn't. He is actually more cautious than me sometimes because he doesn't want me to go through that pain and put my health at risk. The cheese and pepperoni, he clarified that while he did wash his hands after touching gluten and touching these shared items, he was unsure if his mother did. Therefore told me not to use

35:34 these items because he wasn't sure if there was any cross-contamination and would rather be safe than sorry. We will be getting new ingredients. We did talk. I told him how this incident made me feel and it was a hard conversation to He explained his thought process. He said that when mother-in-law asked for the strainer, that he did hesitate because he knew that we would no longer be able to use this one and would need a new one.

35:58 He thought that the strainer is relatively easy to replace though. And since my health and gluten safety is important to him, didn't want to be met with opposition from his mother in that moment, as if she would have met him with pushback about some type of gluten safety, it would have upset him and caused a bigger argument.

36:14 Hmm.

36:15 I explained I wasn't upset about replacing the strainer or ingredients. Ultimately, it had everything to do with educating his family about that nuance of my disease as this concept of cross-contamination transfers to other situations, such as holidays or family gatherings. He said he understood how I felt and why I felt that way. After more conversation, we ended up on the same page. We will be educating his family going forward when situations arise. And our boundaries in our kitchen are strict. We won't be bending those boundaries for anyone.

36:49 And he will be replacing all the items. Comment one says, if it's easier to buy a new kitchen utensil than tell a grown woman she has to use a different kitchen utensil, there's bigger problems. And that is the end of the story. Do you think that he has any, you know, validity in what he was saying? Right.

37:09 Yeah, welcome to marriage, y'all.

37:11 This is the real stuff. Give it to the nitty gritty. Yeah, you think weddings and receptions are fun? Think about doing life.

37:19 Yeah, all of life.

37:19 This is what it's about. This is these, like, everyone has a point. No one's really that wrong.

37:27 Yeah, I think that's a good way to look at it because when he explained, it doesn't sound wrong.

37:34 Yeah.

37:34 It just sounds like they weren't fully communicating on, you know, how they wanted to react in, like, that specific situation. Because, like, how would you know?

37:44 Yes, because when you're doing life with someone, it's like, yeah, these things pop up. Of, like, we were missing each other here. And, yeah, like, she's right. He's kind of right. It's just, yeah, boundaries.

37:58 And the answer is somewhere in the middle.

37:59 Somewhere in the middle. Like, yeah.

38:01 We call that a compromise.

38:03 Right, right, right. Like, we need a color code. Yeah. And really have, like, a next time if this happened.

38:12 There shouldn't be a next time.

38:12 Yeah, this is how I want you to react. Yeah, this is how I want you to react. Or let's not have this happen again.

38:17 Or, yeah, it's like.

38:18 Well, now they have another strainer.

38:19 Buy another strainer if you, like, yeah. Because the mom is just being the mom.

38:25 Yeah.

38:25 She doesn't seem like she had any malicious intent.

38:29 No, she just seemed like she wasn't, like, she didn't care. Yeah. Which I understand why Opie.

38:33 Is hurt by. True, because I'm thinking the mom came in there and was just like. Well, I'm the mom.

38:37 Yeah, I'm the mom. What I say, go.

38:40 Yeah, I use any strength I want wherever I'm at.

38:43 Rules, I make the rules.

38:44 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right?

38:46 And it didn't seem like the mom came at it with malicious intent. So now it's like, yeah, the dynamic of husband and wife and how are we going to solve this problem so we can keep doing life?

39:01 Yeah, and this was not a big issue, because I feel like these are the types of issues that happen all the time in any sort of relationship.

39:07 Big time.

39:08 And you just have to hear the other person and then make a path forward.

39:13 Yeah.

39:13 But that's the end of that story.

39:15 I know. And you're welcome for the marriage advice. Yeah.

39:19 Professional marriage guy over here.

39:20 Boom.

39:20 Don't say that.

39:21 Nope.

39:22 You're in a professional marriage. Don't put that on me. I'm a human with human things, going through human problems.

39:29 Trying to live and grow absolutely that's professional marriage advice.

39:33 That's what like a Extraterrestrial would say.

39:35 I am a human. I am a human.

39:40 Going through human things. I got a human brain.

39:43 Yeah. That's what I am.

39:45 I'm not a robot.

39:46 Don't look into it any further.

39:50 No one's perfect.

39:51 It's very sensitive when you have someone with a severe, something like celiac, and then it's like they'll end up in the hospital.

40:00 You don't want that. Yeah.

40:01 Yeah.

40:02 And yeah, it really didn't seem like something huge. Obviously, we're nowhere near like a divorce thing.

40:07 Yeah. Rahm Emanuel said, never waste a crisis.

40:11 It's a good one.

40:12 So it's a really good opportunity to have a very serious conversation.

40:15 About how we move forward. Yeah, the best time for a conversation is when you think.

40:19 About it, I guess. It's like now.

40:23 But we got another story. My husband bought a shockingly intimate gift for a coworker as a joke.

40:31 Oh, no.

40:32 So being 28 female, I had been with my husband, 28 male, for about three and a half years. Married for one year. He's always had a spicy sense of humor. But due to issues we had in the past, particularly when he would say how he thinks about cheating on me or thinks about leaving me to get busy, he got on medication and that hyper spicy side of him That's calmed down a lot. That's a crazy red flag.

41:02 She said, she said, oh yeah, he would joke about leaving me and like hooking up with other people. But you know, it's okay. We worked on it.

41:10 Right, right.

41:10 Oh, we don't know what type of relationship they, cause they vibing.

41:13 We don't.

41:14 We don't, you know what I'm saying?

41:15 It could be chill.

41:16 It could be, it could be we have friends.

41:18 Totally fine, yeah. Due to these issues, I had told him to stop talking spicily in general to one of his friends because he had told me in the past that if I hadn't gotten together with him, he would have tried dating her.

41:31 Oof.

41:32 He needs to stop talking.

41:34 Oof.

41:34 Why is he telling you things?

41:36 Oof.

41:37 So he has a co-worker who's a married woman and apparently they started talking about spicy toys and stuff like that and how they are both filthy minded and make jokes like that. I normally wouldn't care as long as it's friendly and not in a what I would do with you kind of way. So he got her a Secret Santa this year, and he told me he got her a normal gift for the office and a gift for at home. When I asked what he meant, he told me he got her a large phallic object.

42:09 Oh, snap.

42:10 What could that be?

42:12 Phallic object to use in the bedroom. OP continues too big to use as a gag gift and started laughing.

42:21 What do you mean too big to use?

42:25 That's like immediate HR. Yeah. It's an HR complaint right there.

42:30 HR's like, I love this game.

42:32 Yeah, you could do something and mess around and stop paying your rent or mortgage for that joke.

42:38 Oh, yeah.

42:38 I said immediately, you bought a phallic object for another girl? And he immediately stopped laughing and said, what do you mean by that? I told him, you know how this looks, right? He got really awkward and said he didn't think of it like that. And then I know that was his sense of humor.

42:54 What's up with the voice, yo?

42:55 That's my man voice.

42:56 That's your man voice?

42:57 That's my man voice, yeah.

42:58 That's what to say.

42:58 That's my stupid man voice.

43:00 Copy.

43:02 By the way, this comes from Spooky Crew. And if you want to spit your own stories, go to the r slash showcase story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.

43:09 I'm Keon. And we have a very special guest. Let them know who you are.

43:11 Kwesi James. I'm Kwesi James.

43:18 That was beautiful. Thank you so much for joining us.

43:20 Thank you. Thank you for having me. Yeah.

43:22 Kwesi's going to help us read these stories and give some advice. And you're already doing so great at it. Ah, yes. You've been nailing every advice. And let's get into the story.

43:32 Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite goofball host here. And we're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

43:40 OP says, I just said it felt way too intimate of a gift. Talking about it is one thing, but giving her something like that is entirely different. He should overturn it because he respects me. Then he said that he's always had this kind of humor. And that he even bought me a phallic object in the past before we started dating. A too big to use object. I said, that doesn't mean anything because he liked me back then too.

44:07 He told me before.

44:08 Wait, wait, wait.

44:09 What do you mean? So you buy that for people you like?

44:12 Yeah, that's what it seems like.

44:13 Yeah, I just buy flowers.

44:14 Yeah, you could just buy flowers. That would be normal.

44:17 Yeah.

44:19 He got quiet and just kept repeating, this sucks.

44:23 Over and over.

44:23 Oh, this sucks.

44:27 I love your acting. Thank you, thank you.

44:28 That's what's up. Am I being the a-hole here? It just feels very boundary-stepping, especially due to our past. But at the same time, he did buy me one, too, in the past, before we started dating, like years before. We've got an update. Is this boundary-stepping?

44:47 To give your co-worker... Boundary-hopping? Yes. I mean, he hopped on a plane.

44:53 Took it to like the boundary that's 20 places over. 20 states over.

44:59 Stepping on the boundary.

45:01 It's dancing on the boundary.

45:02 He's dancing on the boundary.

45:03 Dancing on the boundary.

45:04 Oh my goodness.

45:06 Yeah, he paid tolls to get through, then crossed the boundary.

45:10 Took a ferry over to the next boundary.

45:12 Big time. Like, yo, grow up.

45:15 Yeah, that's ridiculous.

45:16 I mean, and then. But I mean, it worked with his current?

45:21 It worked with OP.

45:22 Yeah.

45:23 But I feel like now OP's like, dang, that's his move.

45:26 Word.

45:27 That's his move. He does this with all the girls he likes. That's his dirty dancing.

45:30 Yeah, don't put baby in a corner. He Patrick Swayze the whole thing.

45:34 But with a phallic object.

45:36 With a giant phallic object.

45:39 Too big to use.

45:42 Wow.

45:43 Yeah. I think that he's much more than stepped on your boundaries.

45:47 Yeah. Big time. What are these? Phallic objects going on sale?

45:51 I guess so. He's got a whole store.

45:53 To buy one, get one.

45:55 He's got a box of them in his garage.

45:57 Get a bundle. He probably has a wholesale license.

46:00 He's using them like nunchucks.

46:01 Yeah, he buys them in bulk.

46:04 He's giving them out to everyone.

46:05 Goodness gracious. Oh, yo, yo.

46:09 Because this, along with all the comments that he used to make that OP didn't like, I feel like I don't think this is lasting. This is a tough one.

46:19 You think you're on thin ice, huh? Yeah.

46:21 I'm on more than thin ice. I've broken through. I'm in the cold water. I'm freezing.

46:25 Get a jacket.

46:27 Someone save me.

46:29 Goodness gracious. Relationships could be hard.

46:33 For real. It's true. They don't have to be this hard, though.

46:36 No, they don't.

46:37 They're hard, but not that hard. Yeah.

46:41 Wow.

46:41 Yeah, we've got an update. I'm not... Too hopeful. So my husband kept telling me that he doesn't care about this situation and that he hadn't thought about it since he canceled the spicy toy order. So I decided to drop it as well. But reading a lot of your guys' concern in the comments really made me think and reflect on everything. My husband had always been controlling. If he didn't like something that I did or wanted to do, like dye my hair... He'll argue for hours, hyper-focus on how I used specific words, get hooked on the proper way to use a word instead of actually listening to the argument. He'll throw around buzzwords like gaslighting and how I'm manipulative and also downplay anything he's done and only

47:26 focus on how I react to his actions. Well, I decided a while ago that I think I might want my lip pierced, but I'm worried I might not like it and it might scar up. So yesterday I ordered some fake sticky piercings to test out the look without committing. And I told my husband about my order. He told me it's my body, but he hates piercings and thinks they're really ugly and that he wants them nowhere near my beautiful skin. That's weird.

47:54 Oh, snap.

47:55 I told him I noted his feelings on this and will keep it in mind, but I'm not making a decision just yet on if I'm getting one or not. He didn't like this at all. He said me saying that I had noted his feelings and means I don't give a crap and I'm just ignoring it.

48:11 Wow.

48:12 I told him no. I'm keeping it in mind. I have just not made a decision yet. Somehow this escalated very quickly because I was going out of my way to speak to him calmly since if I get upset or raise my voice, he'll hyper-focus on that instead of the argument.

48:28 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

48:29 Wow. Well, you shouldn't be raising your voice.

48:31 Yeah.

48:31 He started saying that I don't sound like myself, that I sound like my sister, who he hates. and his harmful mother. Because while he was talking, I was responding like, mm-hmm, and okay. He said I was mocking him and that I don't care. I told him I'm just listening, and I do care. Somehow it turned into me gaslighting him and only wanting him for his money. Not true, he has really bad money problems, and I've had to help him out plenty of times. Yeah, I hope he's like, how could I want you for your money? You don't have any.

49:02 You're spending your money on giant phallic objects.

49:05 Yeah, maybe that's where all his money's going from. He's getting like the top of the line stuff.

49:09 Yeah, yeah, the good ones.

49:11 It's like the Nimbus 3000.

49:14 He kept calling me a manipulator and was saying things like, don't you see it? We're done. After a while of this, I started getting upset and said, I'm genuinely trying to talk to you about this and you keep going off. My voice got a bit wobbly and he told me not to get emotional. So I told him I was done.

49:34 This is exhausting and I cannot do this anymore. He asked what I meant. So I told him I wanted a divorce.

49:42 Ooh, got him.

49:44 Yeah. We've got a little bit left. Do you think that was the right move? Divorce?

49:51 Or do you think that there was anyway?

49:53 I have a hard time telling anyone if they should get divorced or not.

49:58 As a married person.

50:00 Yeah, absolutely.

50:01 But if you feel unsafe, if you feel like you're being belittled, you shouldn't be in any friendship yeah or a romantic relationship.

50:11 With anyone absolutely you know i mean um oh gosh this he sounds exhausting he.

50:17 Really does it's like everything he wants to do is okay yeah and then everything you want to do is not okay and he just doesn't listen.

50:27 I dig yeah i think he's like he's yeah he's living in the world where he can buy his co-workers.

50:34 Yes tools that are too.

50:37 Big to use.

50:39 Tools that are actually kind of useless.

50:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, where do you put it? On a mantle?

50:46 Yeah, you know what? I do have friends who have, they have like a little phallic object things on their mantle.

50:53 Yeah.

50:53 What's actually above, it's like they have doorway and then like a lip on the doorway.

50:56 A collection?

50:58 Well, they got them at like a party or something and they just like, they like stuck them to it. They're just small.

51:03 As like a door holder?

51:05 I don't know.

51:05 Oh.

51:06 I don't know why they have it.

51:07 I hate it.

51:07 But it's just like, it's like above.

51:09 Oh, nice.

51:10 So like you wouldn't see it unless you were like looking up.

51:12 Yeah. I look up all the time.

51:14 Yeah, so you'd probably see it.

51:15 What is the co-worker's husband?

51:18 Yeah, she's married. That's a good point.

51:19 You know what I'm saying?

51:20 Yeah, I don't know. Maybe he doesn't know. Maybe OP's husband is just like really open about.

51:27 Right. Husband or partner, I don't know. Yes. We didn't even specify.

51:31 Yeah, we don't know.

51:33 Yeah.

51:34 I don't know. We don't know how they feel. But she probably is keeping that to herself.

51:40 I think so.

51:41 And Opie's husband's just like way too open.

51:43 I think so.

51:44 He's like, yeah, I did that.

51:46 I hope I never find these problems.

51:48 Me too.

51:49 Right?

51:49 I hope this isn't the love that finds me.

51:51 You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. Stay away from me, those problems.

51:54 Yes.

51:55 Please.

51:55 I don't need them. I don't need them.

51:57 I don't need those problems.

51:58 Yeah.

51:59 Opie.

51:59 Yeah.

52:00 Divorce is expensive.

52:01 But if this is the decision you want to make and separate, think of it as an investment into your future.

52:07 True.

52:07 That's a good way to look at it.

52:09 To not be with someone who's not your person.

52:12 Yeah.

52:12 It's kind of like student loans.

52:14 Yeah.

52:14 Yeah. Think of your husband as Sally Mae. Yeah. Yeah.

52:19 And your divorce is your student loan.

52:22 Yeah, just pay it.

52:23 Yeah, just do it.

52:24 Just do it. Just do what you can to find freedom and happiness. The person.

52:29 We will listen to you and all these things that you want that's clear and easy for a partner is out there. And this is probably not the one.

52:38 I agree.

52:39 Yeah.

52:40 We just call that like a learning tax.

52:43 It's so true.

52:44 Let's go ahead and look at it.

52:46 There's a little bit left, though. Let's see if they solidify the divorce. He immediately got upset, saying divorce wasn't even on his mind. He said, I broke his heart again, and it's not fair that I can decide this. Then he said, I'm giving up because of one conversation. I told him we were never going to work as a married couple. We're too different. One of us would have to sacrifice a lot for the other, and that's not fair.

53:11 He said, fine. He's in no position to divorce me at the moment and asked if we can hold on until June. He said, we're going to go through with the divorce no matter what, but it's to get our finances together.

53:22 Our?

53:23 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

53:24 He just doesn't have money. He's in the military. And we share a BAH, a bi-monthly check for housing.

53:31 You better be careful because that USAA account is undefeated. Also that Navy Federal.

53:37 Yeah. But you could find better.

53:39 It's not worth it.

53:40 It's not worth it. It's not worth a Navy Federal credit union. No, no, no.

53:44 Just staying with. Oh, is it though?

53:46 I'm sure there's other Navy men.

53:48 All right, cool.

53:49 So that's what he's referring to. I went over to my best friend's place after and she wants to celebrate me finally leaving him. She's always hated him and I understand why now. So yeah, I guess it's finally happening and I'm not backing out this time.

54:03 That's what's up.

54:05 There we go.

54:05 P said, I got a backbone. She did. Stella got a groove back.

54:10 So true.

54:11 Her groove back.

54:12 Yeah.

54:13 I love that. Opie's got her groove back. She's grooving.

54:18 Yeah.

54:19 She grooved out of the relationship.

54:21 Come on. New haircut coming. Yes.

54:23 She's going to get the lip piercing.

54:24 Get the lip piercing. Come on.

54:26 She should shave her head.

54:27 Dye her hair.

54:28 Dye her hair. Do your thing. Look at those phallic objects from a distance. Yeah.

54:33 How do you have you ever because Opie kind of mentioned briefly like, oh, I wanted this lip piercing, but he was really against it. yeah have you ever had a moment where your wife was like oh i want to do this new change and you didn't like it and how did you you know or.

54:46 Vice versa like yeah um i i think i'm the one who's a lot of changing my wife just makes fun of me yeah yeah that's.

54:54 Pretty much like a playful way yeah definitely.

54:56 Playful way yeah absolutely yeah yeah yeah because like like um like all right so like i just fasted for like four days and like Did it like when she was not home because she would just be concerned that I'll pass out.

55:09 Yeah, sure, sure.

55:10 Yeah, and my wife, she can be pretty bossy, but I don't listen to anyone, so I think it works within our relationship.

55:17 Yeah, you take it when you need it.

55:18 Yeah, yeah, for sure.

55:19 Sometimes she's right, though, and that's the part where it's like, damn, I really should have freaking listened.

55:24 Yeah.

55:24 But have you had a relationship like that where somebody didn't want you to do something or vice versa? Uh.

55:30 I don't think I've I was thinking you know like sometimes I'll like my boyfriend will be like oh like if he has if he wants to get a new haircut or he's like oh this is how I want my hair and stuff and I'm like not into it I don't say like oh you don't get that haircut you know But when he gets a haircut I like, I just positive reinforce. I'm like, that is a great haircut on you. Or with his clothes, because he used to wear more skinny jeans or skinny pants and stuff.

55:58 But I really like the wide leg. I'm like, the wide leg personally.

56:00 That's in right now. Yeah, it's in.

56:02 And I just personally, I've been telling him, I'm like, you should get on the wide leg. And so instead of being like, don't wear those pants, just every time he would wear the wide leg, I'd be like, oh my God, you look amazing. You look incredible.

56:12 Oh.

56:13 And I think that's the way to go. Like, you don't tell someone they look bad. You just tell them they look good.

56:17 Got it. Got it. Got it. All right. I'll learn from that.

56:20 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

56:21 That's my trick. I'll take that note.

56:23 It's worked. He doesn't wear the skinny pants anymore. And his hair looks great.

56:27 Right.

56:29 You probably would like to Dominican guy because he's saying like real.

56:32 He's going to give you something good. Yeah. Yeah. That's what's up. Hey, man.

56:37 That's my trick. That's my trick.

56:39 I'll take it.

56:40 Yeah.

56:40 I'll take it. I'll take it. I can give you anything. I'm pretty critical sometimes, though.

56:44 I don't know.

56:45 I think I have really good taste. Yeah. But we don't know.

56:48 I love when, I guess, my wife experiments with different looks.

56:53 But she's very, I guess, really conservative with her. She knows the hairstyle she likes.

56:58 That's how I am. I'm like, I know how I like my hair. But it's tricky because my hairstylist never does it the same. Okay.

57:05 Okay. Oh, it's a little different all the time? It's always different.

57:09 I'm like, I always go in asking for the same thing, but it always comes out a little different.

57:13 Got it. Got it. Oh, man.

57:15 Do we have another story?

57:16 We have one more story. Okay.

57:19 That's all right with you?

57:19 Yeah, for sure.

57:21 My husband drained our emergency fund to buy World Cup tickets we couldn't afford.

57:27 Worth it.

57:29 Yeah my husband bought three tickets for the world cup and each one cost over a thousand dollars what.

57:38 Did you expect yeah yeah it.

57:40 Was gonna i have been furious since i found out we absolutely cannot afford this and my husband knows it but he still bought them for self yeah for himself i think and may not as a I wonder if he bought them for her too.

57:55 Yeah, because that changes things a bit.

57:57 He's like, no, you and I are going.

57:59 He's like, I'm going to the World Cup.

58:01 Yeah.

58:03 I found out he entered the most recent lottery to get tickets. I have since also found out that it was different from the previous lotteries. Instead of going online and buying tickets right when they went on sale, you had to submit a list of which games you wanted tickets for. And if you won the lottery tickets... your credit card would automatically get charged.

58:21 This man put every game.

58:23 Yeah, he said, please, please, please.

58:26 I need one game.

58:28 Our credit card was charged on Monday, and normally I get an alert whenever a card is used, but my husband deleted it from my phone.

58:36 Before I saw it.

58:38 Oh, scandalous. Yeah, that's a little bit too much.

58:41 It's a surprise.

58:43 I didn't see the charge until two days later, and I thought our card was compromised. I found out what the charge was, and I was still going to dispute it because we absolutely cannot afford it.

58:54 Dispute it. Scam. Yeah, scam, y'all.

58:57 But my husband already paid it and confirmed he made the purchase. He took money from our emergency account. This is getting worse and worse. We have less than $ 100 in our emergency account now.

59:11 Guys, to him, it was an emergency.

59:15 You don't understand.

59:16 Yeah, when is it going to be in America's again?

59:18 I needed to see Messi.

59:21 This is his last time. Ronaldo, this is it.

59:24 I will say, I'm not a soccer fan.

59:27 Yeah.

59:27 I did watch a lot of the games because my boyfriend really loves it, and they were pretty good.

59:32 I mean, you're not a soccer fan, but guess what? 90% of the planet is a soccer fan.

59:37 Well, I'm just saying from my point of view of being like, I don't even care, and it was good.

59:41 Right.

59:42 So I'm like, if you were a fan, it's incredible.

59:45 If he took money out of your emergency fund to pay for.

59:49 It, though.

59:49 But for both of you.

59:51 We don't know that yet. Yeah, we don't even know. Let's see what happens.

59:55 Our emergency fund was low already because two and a half years ago, my husband lost his job and he was out of work for a year. We had to dip into our emergency savings a bunch of times while he was unemployed. He knows what our financial situation is like, and I can't believe he did this. If I didn't have some overtime shifts scheduled over the next two weeks, we would not be able to afford our next mortgage payment.

1:00:19 No.

1:00:20 What if he's doing this? What if he's like, honey? If we get them now, we can sell them. Right, right, right.

1:00:26 Wait, wait. Hold on. Two tickets, you, me, $ 1, 000 each. Third ticket, we wait, and then we sell it at the last minute for triple the price.

1:00:40 My wife did that a couple of times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't have the stomach for that.

1:00:46 No, neither do I. My boyfriend did that for the Olympic tickets. He bought a bunch of them, and he's like, I'm just selling them.

1:00:50 And those are freaking expensive.

1:00:52 I got... Did you get the next... The second... Like Olympics.

1:00:56 I got all of them. Yeah. I got the first one and the second one.

1:00:58 I got the first one and the second two. And I didn't even look at the second one because I'm like, I heard that they were just so expensive.

1:01:04 They're so expensive.

1:01:04 I'm like, I already bought 12 tickets last time. And that was a price. Well, I didn't. You're balling. I didn't buy them all for myself.

1:01:10 You're doing it.

1:01:11 I bought, I bought, yeah, I bought them all for my family.

1:01:15 That's what's up. Yeah, yeah.

1:01:16 So it was 12 tickets split between four people.

1:01:18 What games? You had a Batman and all that?

1:01:20 No, I'm not in the world. Like golf.

1:01:22 Oh, wow.

1:01:23 I think I got women's basketball, so.

1:01:25 I'm excited about that. That's what's up.

1:01:26 Yeah.

1:01:26 Equestrian. Nice. And I think I also got beach volleyball.

1:01:30 Sick. Beach volleyball is also on TV.

1:01:32 Yeah.

1:01:32 Oh, it's lit. I'm excited for those ones. I really wanted rock climbing. That was sold out immediately.

1:01:38 It was gone. We, as a family, we were all like, should we spend money on it?

1:01:43 Yeah.

1:01:44 And it was like, no.

1:01:45 Yeah, we don't need it.

1:01:46 Yeah, no.

1:01:47 I was like, I'm spending max money. I think I spent, the most expensive was like $ 100 for the beach volleyball, and everything else was like $ 40.

1:01:54 Yep. Oh, that's perfect.

1:01:56 Yeah, I was like, I don't need to spend more in my own city.

1:02:00 I'll find a way to finesse to get there.

1:02:03 $ 3, 000, you're not paying for the World Cup.

1:02:05 True, I know.

1:02:06 All right, one ticket.

1:02:07 Yes.

1:02:08 Let's put a little side bet. Yes. The husband bought one ticket. Yes. We agree?

1:02:13 Yes.

1:02:14 For $ 1, 000.

1:02:14 Because that seems like the going price for World Cup tickets.

1:02:19 That's probably like a nosebleed seat.

1:02:21 Yeah, the worst seat. Nosebleed seat. And he said, you know what? I'll just apologize for this later.

1:02:27 Yeah. I think he did. I think he went, oh, it's fine.

1:02:30 That's a later problem.

1:02:32 That is a later problem.

1:02:34 By the way, this comes from Burner Accounts, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Sophia.

1:02:41 I'm Keon, and we have a very special guest. Let him know who you are.

1:02:44 Hi, I'm Koisi James, and you're watching OK Storytime. Yes.

1:02:50 Okay.

1:02:52 We're in time. That was my NPR title. No, I liked it.

1:02:56 I switched it up. Ira Glass a little bit.

1:02:58 Yeah, a little Ira Glass here. Come on. Ira Glasses?

1:03:01 Yeah. And Opie says, I'm furious. And he says, I'm overreacting. He says he's taking his dad and his brother to the World Cup because both of their birthdays are the same week as the game. Wow.

1:03:17 So OP's not going.

1:03:18 OP's not going.

1:03:19 That changes stuff.

1:03:21 OP was not invited.

1:03:22 He was not saving a third ticket to sell it down the line.

1:03:27 Mostly OP's money. Yes. With OP's money.

1:03:31 That's crazy. But that doesn't mean we can afford to spend over $ 3, 000. My husband said at least the tickets didn't cost $ 1, 500 each. He also dropped a bomb on me. He applied for tickets to every game that is being played in our city. And if he had won all the games instead of just one, the total cost would have been over $ 12, 000.

1:03:54 I called it. This is the type of guy, he's like.

1:03:57 I'm going to go to every game.

1:03:59 Yeah, I'm just going to go to any game I can. If I get every game, great.

1:04:03 Yeah, he would have spent $ 12, 000.

1:04:05 He's bugging.

1:04:07 Yeah, that's crazy.

1:04:07 He's not afraid of his wife.

1:04:10 No.

1:04:10 He's like, it's fine.

1:04:12 He's like, I know we don't... He didn't even have... OP says they have $ 100 left in their emergency fund. He would have had to overdraft.

1:04:18 Yes.

1:04:19 Because it said they immediately charged the card.

1:04:22 Right, right.

1:04:22 So if he had gotten any more than the three tickets... would have been in.

1:04:27 Debt holy he's like honey house is temporary yeah watching messi and ronaldo play forever lifetime yeah infinite.

1:04:36 I couldn't believe what i was hearing i asked my husband where we would have gotten that kind of money and he just said we would figure it out He tried telling me that Canada has a huge demand for World Cup tickets, so that's why it cost him over $ 1, 000 per ticket. As if that is an explanation for what he did.

1:04:54 Wow.

1:04:54 I can't even explain how furious I am. We have been going to marriage counseling because of how strange things got after my husband got fired. But that's not going to cut it anymore. I've always been the breadwinner in our marriage. And that's never bothered me. But now the stupid decision he made is the last straw. I tried to make it work, but I can't anymore. I'm going to get my ducks in a row and talk to a lawyer before I do anything with our finances. Then I'm done with him.

1:05:24 Wow.

1:05:24 He thinks I'm overreacting and that all of this is a big joke. I'm done. And we've got comments. And I think another update, but wow.

1:05:33 Somebody had enough.

1:05:35 I think it was because of the other money trouble they were having. And then this was just like, oh, you're not even, you don't even care.

1:05:41 You're not even working.

1:05:42 Oh my goodness.

1:05:42 I think he's working now.

1:05:43 You're playing with other people's money.

1:05:45 Yeah.

1:05:45 I mean, but like. Whoa.

1:05:47 Yeah. I can see why OP... I think money is like one of the biggest stressors on a relationship.

1:05:53 Big time. Yeah.

1:05:54 So I can see why OP would be so frustrated when he just spends $ 3, 000.

1:05:57 Yeah.

1:05:57 And not even on her.

1:05:59 True. And OP's... I think OP.

1:06:02 Let's just say OP was a big fan of Jay-Z and his Jay-Z concerts and the husband bought it for her to like, hey, let's go to this. I think OP will still be upset because I think... From what I'm hearing, OP cares about security.

1:06:14 Yeah, I agree. She still would have been upset if it was something for her. Because it's not about what you bought. It's just the fact that you used this money.

1:06:22 Yeah, it's secure. Like, we don't have it.

1:06:25 Yeah, like, what happens if someone has to go to the hospital? You know, what happens if we, I don't know. Like, the house burns. Like, there are so many things that emergency fund is for that they don't have anymore.

1:06:38 Again, babe. this was an emergency. It's the World Cup.

1:06:41 Yeah.

1:06:41 All right.

1:06:43 It got egregious for me when homeboy got the tickets. From what I understand, oh, he bought his own ticket, I would imagine, and his dad and his brother are going, They bought their separate tickets.

1:06:55 I think he bought it for all of them.

1:06:57 No!

1:06:58 Yeah, because he bought three tickets. Don't do that.

1:07:01 Don't say that.

1:07:02 I feel like he could have just been like, oh, like, guys, can you pay for your tickets?

1:07:06 Yeah. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.

1:07:09 It's tough. Let's see. Yeah, let's see if he specifies, oh, my dad and my brother.

1:07:13 Yeah.

1:07:14 Common One says, so he's using your money and not even taking you? OP says, I don't watch or follow soccer at all. Even if we could afford tickets, I wouldn't go to a game. I do understand your point, but a ticket would be wasted on me. I would just be bored the entire time. That's what you think, OP.

1:07:33 Yep.

1:07:33 That's what you think.

1:07:34 Yep.

1:07:35 I thought that too.

1:07:36 Yep.

1:07:36 And it was very entertaining.

1:07:37 Tell them.

1:07:38 I did get invested. Every time Jude Bellingham was.

1:07:40 On the screen. What was your investment? Jude Bellingham.

1:07:42 Locked in.

1:07:43 Okay. That wasn't what I was going with this. I was going somewhere different.

1:07:46 The soccer was good too.

1:07:48 I was going like the atmosphere. Yeah.

1:07:51 When you're in a stadium, I saw like some LA game.

1:07:54 Yeah. And- When those drums start beating.

1:07:57 It's electric.

1:07:59 And those flags start waving.

1:08:01 And it doesn't stop until halftime. And then it comes back again after when the game starts back. The energy is infectious.

1:08:09 No, I was in Culver on the steps watching the last game. And it was crazy. We were up and down and up and down.

1:08:19 It's magnetic. It's something to.

1:08:22 You gotta see it. You gotta feel it. But for your home security, chill, girl.

1:08:26 I'll miss it.

1:08:27 Not worth it.

1:08:28 I'll see you on TV.

1:08:28 I'll go to a bar. I'll go to a bar. I'll get some good energy. It won't be that energy, but it'll be good energy. Right.

1:08:35 Find me the dopest bar. Yeah. You're fine.

1:08:39 Common2 says, so congratulations on your new separate bank account to which he does not have access. OP says, I won't be doing that or anything related to our finances until I speak with a lawyer. One of my friends went through a divorce and her husband faced consequences in court for separating money and withdrawing financial support. And I do not... want that to happen to me i'll only be following advice from my lawyer comment three says sell the tickets on the secondary market make a loss into a win depending on the match you could make two or three times op says i don't have the tickets my husband had them and i have no idea how i would even access them Now he's telling me he transferred them to either his dad or his brother. He

1:09:23 won't say because he doesn't want me to be able to ruin this for them.

1:09:26 I'm done. Oh, no.

1:09:28 Yeah, that's crazy.

1:09:29 Yeah.

1:09:30 Common 4 says, reported as fraud to your credit card company. OP says, I did. The credit card company said it isn't fraud because my husband already made payment and confirmed it with his purchase.

1:09:41 Yes.

1:09:42 I'm not giving up, but credit card company won't budge. Update nearly five months later. Well, I think OP wants to get the divorce. I think that is pretty solidified.

1:09:53 I mean, go for it.

1:09:55 Yeah.

1:09:56 I think, yeah, at that point when he spends $ 3, 000 of your money, I think that is a time to leave.

1:10:01 That stings.

1:10:03 Five months later, OP finds out husband put all his money. All the rest of the emergency money on Spain to win. Oh, could you imagine? On Spain to win it all.

1:10:13 Oh, and he came up.

1:10:16 That's like the dream, right?

1:10:18 Update nearly five months later. I posted five months ago and my update is just a small one, but I have left him and I'm seeking a divorce.

1:10:26 Yeah.

1:10:27 That's what I like to hear. I moved out four months ago. We had been going to marriage counseling because of how strained things got after he got fired from his job. For the second time during our marriage.

1:10:38 Man.

1:10:39 But the World Cup tickets were the nail in the coffin. Before I moved out, he had the gall to complain to me about how he couldn't afford some of his favorites from the grocery store. And whose fault is that?

1:10:50 Lionel Messi's. It's Lionel Messi's fault.

1:10:55 Maybe the World Cup will feed you.

1:10:56 Yeah.

1:10:57 If it wasn't for me working some overtime, we wouldn't have been able to buy any food at all. I had already hired a lawyer, and since there was no case for a fault divorce, I have to be separated from him for a year in order to get a divorce. Although my lawyer said the only thing filing on a fault ground does is forego the one-year waiting period. It doesn't affect the settlement or the division of assets. I may have to pay some spousal support since I was the higher earner, but it's a small price to pay for being rid of him. He doesn't want a divorce.

1:11:29 He asked me to stay and continue marriage counseling. He still went to the game three months after I left.

1:11:36 Yep.

1:11:36 While also telling me I should stay. Also, to address some things from my first post that kept coming up, his dad and brother did not care about him spending our emergency fund on the tickets. His dad, his brother, and his friends thought he was right.

1:11:51 Of course, of course they thought he was right.

1:11:53 They got to go to the World Cup for free.

1:11:55 Yeah, they're like, we're going to the World Cup. This is the way. This is the right thing, yeah.

1:11:59 If it was a Canada team playing, they got knocked out.

1:12:03 They got knocked out so quick.

1:12:06 Yeah, what game did you go to?

1:12:08 They didn't really perform that well.

1:12:10 We all live in the city where the game was played. No one would have to get a flight or a hotel. At least there's that. I don't watch soccer and even if we could have afforded tickets I wouldn't have gone to a game. My anger was about him draining our emergency fund. It wasn't about me not being invited to the game. We got a little bit left to this story.

1:12:29 Do you have any final thoughts?

1:12:30 Oh yo if your partner is not a sail on your ship and an anchor you gotta like release that anchor.

1:12:38 And that's That's a great way to say it. Where'd you get that one from?

1:12:41 Just came from a top.

1:12:42 That's so good.

1:12:44 From me.

1:12:44 From me.

1:12:45 Like, come on. Like, yeah, get away. Because sometimes you make mistakes.

1:12:52 Yeah.

1:12:53 And you probably are with the wrong human.

1:12:56 Yeah. That's just what it is. Yeah.

1:12:59 I mean, I really hope that the World Cup was worth losing his marriage.

1:13:03 Yeah.

1:13:04 Apparently it was.

1:13:05 Apparently.

1:13:06 Apparently it was.

1:13:07 Yeah, his marriage was worth $ 3, 000 and three World Cup tickets.

1:13:10 Indignant, though, of complaining about not buying his favorite food.

1:13:15 That would send me over the edge.

1:13:17 That's so funny.

1:13:18 For him to go, where are the Doritos?

1:13:20 Yeah, yeah.

1:13:21 Why don't we have my Doritos? And she goes- We can't afford them. He goes, what the heck? We can't afford my Doritos?

1:13:27 I can't have poutine anymore.

1:13:29 What happened? Oh my gosh.

1:13:31 We got one sentence to finish it off. I am following the advice of my lawyers regarding finances and will not be fully withdrawing financial support as many comments suggested. I don't want to face the consequences in the divorce proceedings and will follow my lawyer's guidance on how to proceed no matter how much the comments double down on what I should do. That is the way to go.

1:13:52 I think we should leave it to the lawyers.

1:13:54 Yeah. Now she has to pay. Oh, yeah.

1:13:59 Now she has to pay a lawyer.

1:14:00 Oh, no. She has to pay him. Oh, yeah.

1:14:02 Because spousal support.

1:14:03 Because she earns more. Yeah, she earns more.

1:14:06 Crazy. That's tough.

1:14:06 That is tough. So twice, he didn't get laid off twice. Guess what?

1:14:11 He got fired twice. Yeah, this does not seem like a guy who's very good at his job or at thinking.

1:14:20 Financial responsibility.

1:14:21 Financial responsibility.

1:14:24 He's more of the now guy.

1:14:25 Yeah.

1:14:26 Not the future.

1:14:26 He's not a future guy. And then, yo, sometimes the now guy could be fun if you're like 19.

1:14:30 Yeah, and maybe that's.

1:14:31 Why she married him.

1:14:32 She's like, wow, this guy's so fun. And then she was like, ooh, every year he gets less fun.

1:14:38 Right.

1:14:38 Yeah, he's like, like, homie yeah in high school used to be the man homie yeah she probably.

1:14:45 Is like oh wow you were so adventurous and like spur of the moment and then she's like oh actually that's not a good thing anymore yeah but uh that is the end of that story and i think that it was our final.

1:14:59 Story final story so yes.

1:15:00 But if there is anything before we go that you want to tell people about or promote.

1:15:05 Yeah where they find where they can find you.

1:15:08 Sure well i gotta say first of all this has been so much fun oh thank you yeah i don't want any of these relationships to find.

1:15:14 Yeah yeah no no no ever and they.

1:15:16 Won't any respect to everyone who was brave to write in and yeah And tell us their story, for sure. Hopefully, the advice helps. And hi, I'm Kwesi James, and you can find me on the Try Guys platform, making funny, funny, funny, funny videos. Killer Dinner is coming out this fall. Please watch it. And also, Travel with Kwesi is coming back. So, let's explain Travel with Kwesi.

1:15:40 Please do.

1:15:40 Some of my fans, I invite them to come travel with me around the world. Well, we went to Thailand.

1:15:45 We went to Morocco. We went to Tobago, where my family's from. And this time, we're going to Tuscany.

1:15:51 Oh my gosh. I think Sophia and I are fans.

1:15:53 Yeah. You should pull up. We should go to Tuscany.

1:15:56 Are you kidding me?

1:15:57 Yeah.

1:15:57 I am a fan.

1:15:58 We're going to Tuscany.

1:15:59 You had me at travel.

1:16:00 Yeah, we're going to Tuscany.

1:16:01 You had me at Quezzy James.

1:16:02 Oh, snap.

1:16:04 We're going to Tuscany. We're going to have a really good time. It's going to be live soon. I'll send you the details. That's awesome.

1:16:10 Please do.

1:16:11 Travel with Quezzy coming up. It's like, think of it as a supper club internationally.

1:16:15 Amazing.

1:16:16 Good luck with that. I love travel content, so I will check that out.

1:16:20 I should shoot more content on this for my travel videos, but it's kind of like more of a disconnect.

1:16:24 Really?

1:16:25 Yeah. There's rarely any phones out.

1:16:28 It's very Anthony Bourdain. Oh, yeah.

1:16:30 But without any cameras.

1:16:32 Yeah.

1:16:33 Amazing. That's the fun stuff.

1:16:34 So just connecting with the fan that you go with.

1:16:38 Yeah.

1:16:38 That's awesome. Just vibing. That's really cool. You know what I mean? Yeah. So we'll be in Tuscany this early next year. Mm-hmm. First quarter, we'll be there. And, yeah, pull up. Find me on Instagram, Kwesi underscore James, and more details to come.

1:16:53 Thank you so much for joining us.

1:16:55 Yeah, thanks for coming.

1:16:55 Thank you for having me.

1:16:56 We hope to have you back in the future.

1:16:58 Please do.

1:16:59 Thank you. Thank you.

1:17:00 It's been so great. I am going to go for a three-mile run.

1:17:05 Yes, enjoy. Yeah, here right now.

1:17:07 But that's the end of the episode, so if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

1:17:10 Because we love you. And see you tomorrow.