Stop Being So Hard on Yourself. It’s Not Helping You | Dr. Kristin Neff - EP 833

What if the voice you use to motivate yourself is the very voice keeping you stuck?
You push harder after a mistake. You judge yourself for falling short. You tell yourself that if you were more disciplined, more successful, or simply better, you would finally feel worthy. But what if being hard on yourself isn't making you stronger? What if it’s making it harder to recover, grow, and move forward?
According to today’s guest, self-compassion isn’t self-pity or letting yourself off the hook. It’s learning how to respond to difficulty without turning against yourself.
Dr. Kristin Neff is a pioneering researcher in self-compassion and the creator of the Self-Compassion Institute (self-compassion.org). In this conversation, she explains why so many of us tie our worth to achievement, how our inner critic can intensify shame and disconnection, and how self-compassion can help us respond to life's challenges with greater clarity and care.
In this conversation, you’ll learn:
• Why being hard on yourself doesn't necessarily make you more motivated or successful.
• The difference between self-esteem, which evaluates your worth, and self-compassion, which responds to your humanity.
• How achievement, appearance, status, and external approval become measures of worth.
• Why shame, loneliness, burnout, and emotional numbness can be connected to a deeper sense of disconnection.
• How self-compassion creates space between what you feel and how you choose to respond.
• Why compassion can help you recognize your needs, set boundaries, and act with greater intention.
• How parents can model self-compassion for children without turning it into another expectation.
• A simple practice for responding to difficult moments with warmth instead of self-judgment.
Kristin shares a powerful phrase to return to when you’re struggling: “I will not abandon you. I am here for you. I care.”
You don’t have to earn the right to treat yourself with compassion. You can begin in the very moment you feel you’ve fallen short.
Guided meditation + live Q&A with Dr. Kristin Neff, open to all at no cost. Reserve your spot for an upcoming gathering here: self-compassion.org/gatherings-with-kristin-pu… Use code: passionstruck
Check the full shownotes here. (passionstruck.com/how-to-stop-being-hard-on-yo…)
Get the Companion Digital Workbook. (drive.google.com/file/d/1PVD9v5yfKhSi6gfGnCaPF…)

Explore "The Mattering Effect"
Get your copy of The Mattering Effect (matteringeffect.com)
What happens when you spend so much of your life showing up for everyone else that you start to disappear from yourself? Take the 90-second diagnostic to discover whether you're experiencing the signs of unmattering.
New to Passion Struck?
Explore the Passion Struck Starter Packs (passionstruck.com/starter-packs)
Not sure where to begin? Discover curated episode collections designed to help you explore the ideas, conversations, and questions that matter most.
Connect with John R. Miles
• Website: johnrmiles.com
• Speaking and Events: Book John to Speak (johnrmiles.com/speaking)
• Substack: The Ignited Life (theignitedlife.net)
• Children's Book: You Matter, Luma (youmatterluma.com)
Support the Mattering Movement
Visit Start Mattering (startmattering.com)
Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and significant. Help make that belief visible. Wear it. Live it. Show it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The #1 Health & Fitness Podcast. More than 85 million downloads.
Disclaimer
Passion Struck is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. Nothing shared on this podcast should be considered medical, mental health, or psychological advice, or a substitute for consultation with a qualified professional.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.