E214: The Truth About Being Touch-Starved (Even In A Happy Relationship)

This week, we’re diving into something that seems simple but holds a lot of power in your relationship: touch.

Whether it's a lingering hug, a soft shoulder squeeze, or just holding hands while watching Netflix — physical touch is one of the most important (and underrated) ways to build connection, intimacy, and trust.

But if you’ve found yourselves touching less — or if touch feels off somehow — you’re not alone. We asked our audience, and:

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47% said they want more touch

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37% said they want better touch

In this episode, we’re breaking down why touch is so essential — and why so many couples stop doing it. (Spoiler: it's not just about sex.) Plus, we’re giving you practical tools and one super simple free exercise (takes 5 minutes) to start reconnecting through touch today.

💛 Here’s what we’re covering:

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The emotional and physical benefits of touch (for both of you)

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Why “touch starvation” is real — even in long-term relationships

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The surprising ways you may be unintentionally avoiding touch

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The difference between sexual and non-sexual touch — and why both matter

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What to do if your partner says “touch just isn’t my love language”

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Quick, everyday ways to bring more affection into your relationship (no grand gestures required)

✨ Ready to explore all the ways to touch?

We created The Secret Touch Blueprint to help you and your partner reflect on what kinds of touch feel best to you — and how to talk about it together.

Grab it here → free.vmtherapy.com/touch-blueprint

And if doing that exercise leaves you thinking, “Wait… I want more of this,” you’ll love what’s coming next.

This July, we’re launching a 4-week Sensual Touch Challenge exclusively inside our Deeper membership.

It’ll walk you through 8 specific types of touch — from relaxing to arousing — with fun prompts, step-by-step videos, and guided exercises to try with your partner.

It’s designed to bring back the playfulness, the exploration, and the kind of touch that makes you feel again.

💥 Pillow Talks listeners get 25% off their first month of Deeper with code PILLOW → vmtherapy.com/touch

Links & resources:

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👋🏻 The Secret Touch Blueprint →free.vmtherapy.com/touch-blueprint

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💥 Join the Sensual Touch Challenge (starting July 7 inside Deeper) → vmtherapy.com/touch

Stay connected:

📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ instagram.com/vanessaandxander**

💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns.

Sign up here 👉🏻 vmtherapy.com/subscribe

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