- #153 Kinder & Familie
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My Child Is So Mean to Me
A parent describes her 4-year-old daughter as smart, funny, incredibly strong-willed, but sometimes “downright mean.” While she appreciates her child’s spirit and doesn’t want to stifle that, when she says mean things to her she doesn’t fee
Navigating the Playground with a Child Who Seems Too Physical, Bossy, Huggy, or Shy
Janet offers her advice for handling typical playground behaviors in preschool-aged children, such as physical aggression, bossiness, and shyness. Whether our child is exhibiting these behaviors or they're on the receiving end of another ch
It's Never About the Watermelon: What's Really Behind Your Child's Behavior (And What Actually Helps)
When a toddler throws his fork, tips over his bowl, and falls apart over the wrong-sized watermelon pieces — what is really going on? In this episode, Janet responds to a mom of a two-and-a-half-year-old with a new baby just weeks away who
How Forcing Kids to Do Stuff Backfires (And What to Do Instead)
A parent describes the power struggles he and his partner go through with their daughter to get her to brush her teeth. The process has deteriorated into a wrestling match. While on the one hand, the parents feel it's their responsibility t
The Joy of a Self-Entertained Toddler (Yes, It's Possible!)
In a previous 'Unruffled' episode, a parent reached out to Janet with concerns about her then 8-month-old son's play . "If I leave the room, he stands at the gate and screams and cries, even if he can see me and we are chatting." She wonder
Why Parents Need RIE (with Melani Ladygo)
You may have heard Janet, other parents, or early childhood professionals speak about "RIE" (pronounced "rye"). Perhaps they described "RIE" as profound and life changing. Or maybe they outright panned it. They may have brought up elements
Finding Your Voice for Setting Limits
A parent writes that she's become uncomfortable with the language she's using when setting limits with her daughter. She's using a lot of "if/then" ultimatums and doesn't like the suggestion of a threat. "I was an elementary school teacher
Disturbing Things Kids Bring Home From School
A parent feels devastated by recent behavior her 5-year-old daughter has picked up from her peers. She has tried speaking calmly to her about the issue, but this hasn't helped. Janet offers what she hopes is a beneficial perspective that ma
Demands, Wild Behavior, and Parent Guilt
A parent feels confused by her children's demands and wonders if her boundaries are too unclear. Another parent feels overwhelmed by her 4-year-old's emotional behavior at the preschool she opened at her home: "He's gotten increasingly unsa
Becoming Untriggered (with Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn)
Trauma informed coaches Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn join Janet to discuss how they help parents identify triggers and heal wounds that are preventing them from being the parents they wish to be and otherwise negatively impact their daily
Raising Can-Do Kids
Inspired by a couple's Instagram video of their determined toddler, Janet shares a 4-step sequence of responses to encourage our kids to persevere, even through frustration. Deddeh Howard's video: https://www.instagram.com/p/DKfLwy0p2q-/?hl
Separation Anxiety, Meltdowns... The Solution Is Often in Our Face
Janet responds to questions from two parents who describe their sensitive children struggling with separation, transitions, and general emotional overwhelm. One writes, “I go into panic mode when I see his eyes widen with worry,” while anot
Lost in Transition - How Changes Affect Our Kids' Behavior
Toddler twins are suddenly melting down at bedtime. A 5-year-old is struggling to manage his unruly friend. Janet explains how parents in both these cases can help to resolve these issues by better understanding their children's sensitivity
The Year to Stop Doubting Yourself
Janet believes that one of the biggest hurdles for us as parents is our own self-doubt and hopes that 2026 will be the year we stop second-guessing ourselves. With this in mind, she offers suggestions to 3 families who've written to her abo
Can We Be Sad or Angry And Still Be Unruffled?
A parent struggles to control emotions like anger, frustration, and disappointment when they’re triggered by her toddler. While she strives to be a confident leader by appearing calm and unruffled, she also wants to model her emotions authe
Threats and Bribes Aren't Very Helpful (What to Do Instead)
A parent wants to get out of a cycle of bribing her 3.5-year old and writes to Janet for help. “It seems that in order to get him to do anything, I have to offer a reward, treat, or special outing.” If these strategies don’t work, she says,
Finally! A One-Size-Fits-All Approach to Our Kids' Behavior
Every child is certainly unique, but when it comes to their behavior, we can sometimes complicate a situation that might really be quite simple to address. This week Janet shares an email from a parent who says her nearly 4-year-old has lat
3 Secrets to Raising Grateful Kids
As parents, we do our best to raise kind, thoughtful, appreciative kids. But despite our efforts, our children can sometimes seem downright ungrateful. In this episode, a mom writes to Janet about her frustrations with her sons, aged six an
The Best Response to Our Children's Turbulent Emotions
Janet responds to emails from parents who describe struggling with their children’s strong emotions. One writes that her 2-year-old rejects her comfort when he has a meltdown. “It breaks my heart, and I feel like I must be doing something w
How to Boost Your Child's Self-Confidence
We all aspire for our children to grow up with a positive self-image and an abundance of self-confidence. When life throws our child a dilemma, it’s our natural instinct to want to fix it, or at least work them through the uncomfortable fee
Don't Play Along With Annoying Behavior
A parent describes her 5.5-year old as the love of her life. Lately, though, her daughter has been dissolving into silly, immature behavior at inappropriate moments, melting down over nonsensical things, and demanding her mother's attention
The Kindness of Consequences
In this episode: Janet receives a follow-up message from the mom she helped last week in the episode "Demanding, Stressed, and Aggressive—What's Happened to My Gentle Child?" The parent candidly shares aspects of Janet's advice that did and
Demanding, Stressed, and Aggressive - What's Happened to My Gentle Child?
A stressed parent writes that her 4-year-old has been having a very difficult time for the past year. He's anxious, easily frustrated, "screams and stomps so loud it scares the baby," and is physically aggressive toward his older sister. Pr
Bedtime Battles ("Losing Myself in Motherhood")
A parent writes that the bedtime routine with her 5.5 year old daughter has become an all-consuming marathon, and she feels exhausted, frustrated, and disconnected. "I don't enjoy motherhood right now," she says, "and that's painful to admi
What to Say and Do During a Meltdown
At the heart of Janet's parenting approach is respectful, honest communication between us and our kids beginning in infancy—which means observing and listening to kids at least as much as we talk to them. It also means walking through our o
Parenting Is Too Hard? Consider Editing Your Job Description
No matter how we approach raising our children, there are times we'll feel physically, mentally, or emotionally exhausted. Maybe all of the above. We’re only human, of course, but it may also be that we're taking on more than we need to ---
A Secret to Stop the Hitting and Hurting When All Else Fails
It's common for young children to go through phases of unwarranted aggression, usually directed at the ones they love most. Janet has noted that these phases are as uncomfortable for our children as it they are for us, and probably even mor
Making Independent Play Work for You and Your Child (Brilliant Examples From My Inbox)
You've no doubt heard by now about the countless benefits of our children's self-directed play. Less understood is how to nurture this invaluable instinct in our babies—every child has it. With our good intentions, though, we sometimes get
Obedience Is Not a Dirty Word
We all hope to raise polite, well-behaved kids who follow rules and comply with requests, assuming these are fair, just, and appropriate. We want our kids to not only respect us but other authority figures in their lives. Yet, many of us sh
Parenting Problems Our Childhoods Create (and How to Fix Them)
The root causes for our children's behaviors—especially the behaviors that most alarm and confuse us—are often confusing and complex. Sometimes, try as we might to understand and even reason with our child, the behavior only gets worse. But
