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Rude Tales of Magic

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In this improvised narrative role playing podcast, come and join artists, writers, and comedians from Adult Swim, Cartoon Network, Comedy Central, Marvel Comics, and more as they fight and fumble their way across the madcap, and exceedingly rude, fantasy wasteland of Cordelia. Branson Reese and his jester's retinue, Christopher Hastings, Carly Monardo, Tim Platt, Joe Lepore, and Ali Fisher star as a group of unlikely survivors (a talking crow, a lich in a wig, a bubbly fawn, a Sasquatch punk, and a tiefling hunk, specifically) who must solve the mystery of Polaris University's vanishment and return balance and higher education to their world. It's going to be very hard and very, very, rude.

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  1. Fountain, Pen

    Sometimes the Infinity Mall is a place where all deals break loose. Sometimes it's a place where all hell (and powers, and cyborg siblings) break loose. This is one of those sometimes. Follow us on bluesky (https://bsky.app/profile/rudetale

  2. Mall Quiet on the Western Front

    Our heroes head into the Infinity Mall, a place full of endless possibilities...and endless possibilities (bad version). Follow us on bluesky (https://bsky.app/profile/rudetales.bsky.social) for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably th

  3. [Unlocked] Opera & Sherry #1!

    It's the 5th Tuesday of the month, so you know what that means...releasing bonus content out from behind the paywall!!! *Airhorn* *Airhorn* Tell your friends, Rude Tales done did Frasier. For this PATREON GAME OF THE MONTH, Branson invites

  4. [Patreon Preview] Opera & Sherry #2

    Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the Seattle... Wanna hear the rest of this incredible episode? Well it's a Patreon Exclusive, so you're gonna want to head there and subscribe now (https://www.patreon.com/rudetalesofmagic)! W

  5. This Is Bus

    With the strange of events of the Long Weekend behind them, our heroes can finally get back to what's really important: their studies! How is Scooter's Honors History project going, anyways? Wait? What do you mean? It's not going to be a ju

  6. Intro to Botany

    While Mikey, Briley, and Scooter would love to get back to the Carton Family Brunch, they instead are confronted by mild-mannered Diner employee Giles Waiterman, who has some surprising revelations to share. You mean to tell me this Oxford-

  7. [Patreon Preview] Lassos & Cowpokes!

    The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly? More like the Rude, the Tales, of the Magic! Saddle up, pardners, for the rootinest, tootinest, podcastinest bonus content this side of the Rio Grand! Wanna hear the rest of this incredible episode? Well it'

  8. In the Gust of Snakes

    How many snakes must a teen absorb Before you call her a Beast? How many snakes must her friends fight off? Before she tries to eat them? The answer, my friend, is gustin' in the snakes The answer is gustin' in the snakes Follow us on blues

  9. Long Weekend

    Our heroes have finally accepted their roles as, well, heroes! Hope just as this happens, shocking revelations about their powers don't threaten to tear them apart!! I'm a guy who hates compelling narratives! Follow us on bluesky (https://b

  10. [Patreon Preview] Scyllas & Charybdises!

    The Podcasting Gods have come down from Mount Podlympus and taken the shape of swans to bestow upon you this bonus game. Enjoy, mortals! What wisdom, your Gods must have, to record a podcast so timely! Wanna hear the rest of this incredible

  11. Heroes Don't Suck

    The Chess Club would hate it if you listened to this episode. Unless...that's one of their deft gambits, tricking you into listening to the episode?? Follow us on bluesky (https://bsky.app/profile/rudetales.bsky.social) for goodness sake, i

  12. What Will Happen At The Sophomore Assembly?

    The Sophomore Assembly has long been shrouded in mystery? What exactly happens when the doors of the auditorium close? No one will say. But our heroes are about to find out. And so will you, if you just hit 'play' on your podcast app of you

  13. [Patreon Preview] Rodents and Chivalry #2! DM'ed by Branson!

    As a June with 5 Tuesdays, we simply had no choice but to share with our beloved listeners (you) a second Patreon Game of the Month! Your cup overfloweth! And this time? It's filled with Elderberry Cordial! Following our legendary, original

  14. Gulp

    Some things are hard to swallow. Follow us on bluesky (https://bsky.app/profile/rudetales.bsky.social) for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered. Special Thanks as always to Sydney and

  15. Soup Du Jour

    Hey, the kids've gotta eat somehow! Follow us on bluesky (https://bsky.app/profile/rudetales.bsky.social) for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered. Special Thanks as always to Sydney a

  16. [Patreon Preview] Oozes and Ninjas!

    RUDE TALES BONE CON OOZES & NINJAS RUDE TALES BONE CON OOZES & NINJAS RUDE TALES BONE CON OOZES & NINJAS SUBSCRIBE FOR THE FULL EP- THIS A PREVIEW! Wanna hear the rest of this incredible episode? Well it's a Patreon Exclusive, so you're gon

  17. Auditions

    Our heroes don't use their powers much this episode, but boy oh boy do people smoke in high school! If you like "smoking cigarettes in and around high school, during the day, alongside teachers" this is YOUR episode. Enjoy! Follow us on blu

  18. Ooh La La in the House! Ooh La La!

    Our heroes meet a strange child in a basement. Good news: he's facing them-not a Blair Witch situation. Phew. Bad News? He's still a creepy little freak! Afterwards, the gang gets hungry, but what's still open this late? Follow us on bluesk

  19. [Patreon Preview] Opera & Sherry, DM'ed by Branson!

    Well baby I hear the podcast a callin?! Here's a preview of our latest Patreon Game of the Month, Opera & Sherry, GM'ed by Branson and starring Ali, Joe, and Tim! Wanna hear the rest of this incredible episode? Well it's a Patreon Exclusive

  20. Something Amazing

    Over the course of 4 episodes, our heroes have experienced so much. Love and loss, heartbreak and joy. And if you think about it, they've almost completed one whole calendar day of the school year. How could so much happen in such a short t

  21. Text Education

    Reeling from the events of the previous two episodes (meeting an alien, mysterious powers, homeroom icebreakers, etc.), the gang finishes their first day of school and heads to the McChristmas basement to debrief. Hopefully more trouble won

  22. [Patreon Preivew] Tommyguns and Fuggedaboutits! GM'ed by Branson!

    Here's a preview of our first Patreon Game of the Month, Tommyguns and Fuggedaboutits, GM'ed by Branson and starring Ali, Joe, and Tim! Wanna hear the rest of this incredible episode? Well it's a Patreon Exclusive, so you're gonna want to h

  23. Life is a Hallway

    The School Bell Rings. Homeroom. Paths Diverge. Halls are monitored. Follow us on bluesky (https://bsky.app/profile/rudetales.bsky.social) for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered. Spe

  24. [New Campaign Premiere] An Odd Event

    Ah, Sophomore year. For many American High Schoolers, it truly is one of the most Second High School Years. It certainly is for Mikey McChristmas (Branson Reese), Briley Brynn Bailey (Ali Fisher), and Scooter Carton (Joe Lepore) At Foxmenvi

  25. BLUE KINDNESS HIGH: COMING TUESDAY MARCH 17

    Summer's over, losers! Get in! Coming this Tuesday, March 17th, is the premiere of our next thrilling Rude Tale: BLUE KINDNESS HIGH. Action! Adventure! Suburbs! Mystery! Drama! Extracurriculars! All this and more comes to your precious ears

  26. BLUE KINDNESS HIGH SESSION ZERO w/Tim, Ali, Branson, and Joe!

    Blue Kindness High is almost here! Ali, Branson, and Joe sit down with our Game Master Tim Platt to reveal their characters, their secrets, and—buckle up!—their favorite high school classes!! Follow us on bluesky (https://bsky.app/profile/r

  27. UNLOCKED! Rude Talks of Chatting for Nethermurk 36 & Campaign Wrap-Up

    Out from behind the walls of Patreon, it's Rude Talks of Chatting for Nethermurk 36, the whole campaign, and what's next... NETHERMURK HAS ENDED WITH IT'S INCREDIBLE FINALE "SUNDOWNING"! Listen to the WHOLE CAST answer questions, razz each

  28. BONUS Game: Sense & Feelings!

    Wanna watch this episode? Check it out on the Rude Tales Youtube (https://youtu.be/XyX5p-pol9c?si=e9_8Ekzm6lM1aNbW)! REGENCY ENGLAND: When the three youngest Godzilla sisters attend a Garden Party given by their elder sister, will they be a

  29. Sundowning

    Will all the light be eaten? Will our heroes survive? Will anything slime-related happen? All this and more, in the thrilling finale of RUDE TALES OF MAGIC: NETHERMURK Follow us on bluesky (https://bsky.app/profile/rudetales.bsky.social) fo

  30. A Visit to Baltimore!

    The gang takes a helicopter ride! Follow us on bluesky (https://bsky.app/profile/rudetales.bsky.social) for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered. Special Thanks as always to Sydney and

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