#092 Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan, Memoir as Recovery, and Reclaiming Your Story

Topics:

(00:00:00) - Intro (00:01:37) - The Netflix documentary: Misrepresentation and struggles (00:03:19) - Writing the memoir (00:08:47) - The challenges of independent publishing (00:12:40) - The creative process and future plans (00:35:23) - Impact of the book on readers (00:36:04) - Scripted series and unused content (00:36:36) - New docuseries and correcting the narrative (00:37:04) - Psychological analysis in documentaries (00:40:13) - Challenges and rewards of writing (00:41:36) - Unexpected positive outcomes (00:45:38) - Vulnerability of publishing a memoir (00:49:44) - Future aspirations and business rebuilding (00:53:54) - Experience with Scribe Publishing (01:02:59) - Advice for aspiring authors

Links:

People: Andrew Huberman — hubermanlab.com/about David Goggins — davidgoggins.com Eric Jorgenson — ericjorgenson.com Mary Karr — english.utexas.edu/people/mary-karr Paul Millerd — pathlesspath.com Sarma Melngailis — thegirlandtheduck.com Tim Ferriss — tim.blog

Podcasts: Huberman Lab — hubermanlab.com The Tim Ferriss Show — tim.blog/podcast

Companies: Scribe — scribemedia.com

Websites / Tools / Platforms: Scrivener — literatureandlatte.com/scrivener/overview The Girl and the Duck (Sarma’s memoir site) — thegirlandtheduck.com

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We discuss:

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What the Netflix docuseries got wrong—and how she’s correcting it.

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The emotional and creative process of writing a 200,000-word memoir over eight years.

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How storytelling, honesty, and empathy can help others escape manipulative relationships.

Quotes from Sam:

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“I was in a cult of one.”

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“People very often don't understand how this happens to someone who’s intelligent, who went to a good school, and started a business. But it does happen.”

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“I started writing immediately after I got out of jail.”

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“I had no editorial control... They basically changed the reality of what happened.” (on the Bad Vegan docuseries)

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“I didn’t want anybody telling me what I can and can’t put in there... I wanted to have control over my story.”

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“The book is long because I needed the reader to go through the psychological experience with me.”

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“I have all my receipts. I included actual journal entries, G-chats, texts, and emails.”

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“The writing was therapeutic, but also grueling. Sometimes I felt like I was crawling up the wall and slithering out of my skin.”

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“I want the story to be useful. That’s what I’ve wanted all along.”

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“People tell me, ‘I don’t read books anymore, but I read yours.’ That feels amazing.”

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“Even if you're never going to publish it, writing about what happened to you can bring real relief.”

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“I turned down a deal with a major studio because I didn’t want to give up control of my story again.”

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“It wasn’t about power—it was about protecting the integrity of the story.”

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“Someone told me they left a toxic relationship because of reading my book. That alone makes it all worth it.”