Couples Therapy: S5 Ep. 1 w/Jenn

0:09 [SPEAKER_01]: hello everybody welcome to another episode of Altacol I'm your host Tane and I'm here to talk about the new season of Couples Therapy. [SPEAKER_01]: I have no one other than Jen with me to cover this new season. [SPEAKER_01]: Hi Jen, it's been a minute. [SPEAKER_00]: I know Tane Elizabeth that's totally not your name, but it's what I call you.

0:29 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so happy to be back. [SPEAKER_00]: I miss you so much. [SPEAKER_01]: You guys, Jen is frolicking over in the continent of Asia having a good old time with a husband and you want to give an update because there's been a minute since you've been on here. [SPEAKER_01]: Just let people know where you are this time on what you've been up to.

0:50 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm great. [SPEAKER_00]: These are seven through Southeast Asia. [SPEAKER_00]: So we have some time in Thailand. [SPEAKER_00]: And then we have some time in the Philippines. [SPEAKER_00]: We did a short step through like Vietnam, Cambodia, all of that staff mouse. [SPEAKER_00]: That was awesome.

1:07 [SPEAKER_00]: And so now we're in a longer extended time through this part of Asia. [SPEAKER_00]: So we just landed in Bali when we can two days ago. [SPEAKER_00]: And now we're going to be going to put a little bit and we're going to hit Australia, then Japan and Taiwan. [SPEAKER_00]: So we're hitting everything before we hit the states.

1:23 [SPEAKER_00]: So we're coming back in the states in October. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I'll tell you, all you Jen, oh, I'm so jealous about Australia. [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like as long as I'm in corporate America, I don't know if I can hit Australia because you need like a lot of Yeah, it's over there, but then the times that I do have time to go then I'm probably broken.

1:50 [SPEAKER_01]: I can't go to Australia. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it is not cheap so our time will be short so right now we're kind of laying low here in Bali like we had all this intentions We're just going to work on our health and we're going to work out and we're just going to lay low and do work. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and we ended up at I discovered the Black and Bali group obviously they've been.

2:12 [SPEAKER_00]: doing way more than, you know, waiting for me to come around, but we went to an R&B Sunday brunch with them today, and so I was like, okay, so much for us laying low, we're just going to be hanging out here. [SPEAKER_00]: I'll take it. [SPEAKER_00]: I'll take it. [SPEAKER_01]: I hope you have like a great time.

2:27 [SPEAKER_01]: I always say one of my bestifications was Bali. [SPEAKER_01]: It was very peaceful, it was very enjoyable. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, the traffic was really bad, but that's the traffic. [SPEAKER_01]: I saw the great time. [SPEAKER_01]: And at the time, like the exchange rate was in our favor, so it was good.

2:42 [SPEAKER_01]: Love to spend, but yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: guys couple therapy. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't. [SPEAKER_01]: I want to say there was no fanfare, but I want to say that there's never any fanfare about couples therapy. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't even know if people still know or remember that showtime is a channel because they must have giving up on advertising.

3:04 [SPEAKER_01]: They just do things and do shows and merged in with Paramount Plus. [SPEAKER_01]: So a couple of therapy season five came back if you're new to the show as a whole. [SPEAKER_01]: We did cover season four part two. [SPEAKER_01]: That's another thing guys. [SPEAKER_01]: We were two couples for two different parts for the season.

3:23 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why they did that, but we did cover that so you can go back and check that out. [SPEAKER_01]: So we're back for season five because I'm seeing clips and I'm like, [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how you feel, Jen, but I'm worried we've just watched episode 1, but from the clips I'm seeing, I'm worried that couples therapy might be going the route of other reality shows that I'm seeing and I just talked about this over on the Patreon covered 90 day fiancee with Brian and I talked about the fact that they are now casting people where it feels like there's a little, you know, they see the world differently and it feels like [SPEAKER_01]: or kind of like, you know, way mocking them or is this still just, you know, still the essence of the show.

4:10 [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm wondering a couple of therapy if they're chasing the clips, you know, or if the, um, that's not authenticity is not the word is being the integrity of the show is still being retained. [SPEAKER_01]: I was curious about what your thoughts are. [SPEAKER_01]: And again, based on clips, I don't know what the season is, but based on the clips that I've seen so much about the show.

4:31 [SPEAKER_00]: What do you think? [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like you're not wrong. [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like it's getting a lot more dramatic with the couple. [SPEAKER_00]: So instead of just having like, hey, here's a wife and a husband and they're having kind of traditional wife and husband problems. [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, let's throw in, they're a threpple.

4:46 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, and let's throw in politics. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, and let's throw in the, you know, now they're same gender couples. [SPEAKER_00]: So I feel like every season, they're just trying to up themselves. [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know if that's to the benefit of their couples [SPEAKER_00]: It gets a watching, so I get why, and you know, I think when they first started doing it, it was like, oh, good.

5:08 [SPEAKER_00]: They're really broadening the most respective of a couples and couples look totally different and totally different couples. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, problems. [SPEAKER_00]: And so at first it was very interesting. [SPEAKER_00]: But this season seems a little, I don't know, like it just, I don't know if dramatic is the word, but it's just like it's not just [SPEAKER_00]: we're having a couple of issues, we're having like personality clashes, we're having we're completely different humans.

5:36 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, how did we get here? [SPEAKER_00]: It's a little interesting. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, I mean, and I don't want to ignore the fact that it could also be under the [SPEAKER_01]: There are so many differences, and we're just here to highlight it. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, the couple, the first couple that we talked about, they do talk about politics, which that is a hot button topic in the world right now, right?

5:59 [SPEAKER_01]: And there are people facing that, where it's like, I'm not quite sure how they're managing, but oh, I'm married to someone who, you know, radically thinks differently when it comes to politics in this climate right now. [SPEAKER_01]: So it could be them representing that, [SPEAKER_01]: couple I was trying to find their names right now because I haven't gotten used to them with one.

6:24 [SPEAKER_01]: Shane Clinton where Clinton is obviously very open about it that he's being on the autism spectrum but of course or now is going to have to navigate that differently because he's not viewing things the same as who would someone that's not on the spectrum. [SPEAKER_01]: Let's see that doesn't have his own issues but [SPEAKER_01]: Shay who's a transgender woman.

6:49 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's a whole different way of dealing where if Clinton throws a tantrum, normally when you're with a couple dealing with someone that's not on the spectrum, yes, they may be stubborn. [SPEAKER_01]: I forget the villain from the last season that we covered. [SPEAKER_01]: the guy you couldn't stand.

7:05 [SPEAKER_01]: But Boris, yes, yes, or yes. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, he's going to be stubborn. [SPEAKER_01]: He's like you're doing anything, but he did not, you know, start to cry or throw a tantrum and that's completely different. [SPEAKER_01]: So that's a part where I'm like, are you just wanting people, you know, to have, and I noticed that a lot of the clips that I was seeing was Shane Clinton.

7:25 [SPEAKER_01]: So you imagine seeing [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, and I was actually excited when I and blame love on the spectrum for that. [SPEAKER_00]: But I was very excited when I was like, oh, they're going to have like an autistic couple. [SPEAKER_00]: And we're going to see kind of because we know we've seen them on the front end with loving the spectrum where they're like we're early dating.

7:45 [SPEAKER_00]: So, [SPEAKER_00]: I thought this was going to be a, well, let's see what it looks like once they're further down in the relationship. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: So I was kind of excited about it to see what that looked like. [SPEAKER_00]: But then knowing that she was not on the spectrum necessarily in that she had a whole other perspective that she was bringing being a trans woman.

8:08 [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, oh, I don't know how this is going to work. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: So I think maybe they were, [SPEAKER_00]: You know, my, my cynical side thought maybe they were putting Clinton out there with autism to kind of strike that chord, but the people that love love on the spectrum to be like, oh, hey, check this guy out.

8:23 [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's that's my yeah cynical part talking. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, well guys, if you're watching, let us know what you think. [SPEAKER_01]: Is it a case of, you know, the way reality show is now or do you think it's actually a good job of, you know, broadening perspectives and, you know, being diverse in the people that they bring on to the show.

8:46 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, the episode starts with a cold entrance with a couple arguing about politics and then we get a voiceover from Dr. Orna saying how people have become more distrustful, which I can agree with, right? [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: And the media is making it a us versus them situation and they're basically splitting us up.

9:07 [SPEAKER_01]: So we are each consuming like very different realities. [SPEAKER_01]: And to hear her say it out loud, like I agree, [SPEAKER_00]: Dark, you know, like, and this is my uncomfortable laugh. [SPEAKER_00]: This is not my I'm laughing. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah Like it's true, and it feels like it feels like there's nothing we can do about it Like whatever you want to make your reality what you want to hear you can't trust the media to be like not to like not be biased To be objective and just serve you cold hard facts.

9:45 [SPEAKER_01]: There's an agenda [SPEAKER_01]: for everything and whatever you want to justify what you're thinking, you can find that. [SPEAKER_01]: And that's just sad for humanity. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And we're looking at everything through our own lens. [SPEAKER_00]: Like we could we could watch the same information and we're going to put our own lens on it, which I think is really the crux of what's happening with couples and couples therapy and why or an integrated or job is like let's find out what your lens is and what your [SPEAKER_00]: we can have a conversation based on our understanding that we're coming at this from totally different places.

10:22 [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, orna, 2028, we're breads of this. [SPEAKER_01]: I know, I saw somebody in the register was like, oh, I'm seeing this couple's therapy. [SPEAKER_01]: And I think, again, like I said, they're having their moment because of the clips. [SPEAKER_01]: As long as I'm seeing this, I'm about to start this.

10:36 [SPEAKER_01]: It's just like a regular reality show, which we see all the time. [SPEAKER_01]: where people question couples therapy, or is the therapist actually legit? [SPEAKER_01]: And this is not helping, especially in the black community, where Dr. Cheyenne is going through it, right? [SPEAKER_01]: Why did I say Dr. Cheyenne?

10:50 [SPEAKER_01]: Where Cheyenne is going through it? [SPEAKER_00]: That's what she made. [SPEAKER_00]: Our name was, and we're hoping for what they want to be called, unless they're lying in line with it. [SPEAKER_01]: saying that her school calls down. [SPEAKER_01]: She's not this. [SPEAKER_01]: We don't know.

11:02 [SPEAKER_01]: She doesn't need to be and everyone's skeptical. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, okay, are you a doctor or are you not? [SPEAKER_01]: But Dr. Orna and I was like, Dr. Orna is the best. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, in fact, she's very good at what she does. [SPEAKER_01]: And the first and I was like, okay, I'm trusting you.

11:15 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to dive in and I want to be like, yeah, go in and watch. [SPEAKER_01]: I will. [SPEAKER_01]: Dr. Orna, I trust. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, he was the cops experts. [SPEAKER_01]: That would be a whole different thing. [SPEAKER_01]: Um, we get out first couple, which is Marjorie and Jason, I don't know.

11:30 [SPEAKER_01]: I got some of the couples and how long they've been together. [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't get it from Marjorie and Jason and I apologize. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to find that out on the next round if you got it, Jen. [SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't make it out with the card because they don't, they talk over each other.

11:46 [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't think we got there. [SPEAKER_00]: I think anytime Orna asks either one of them a question, [SPEAKER_00]: it turns into a, like, who can talk first? [SPEAKER_00]: So no, I don't think we got a ton of information about the two of them. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean, they put it in their title card or something, but I don't know, I just did something like this too.

12:04 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so Dr. Arner is like, what troubles the two of you and Marjorie's just like, we fight every day and he says, hey, even that's, they cannot agree on. [SPEAKER_01]: We just met them. [SPEAKER_01]: We just like, we don't really fight. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, we argue, but it's not every day.

12:19 [SPEAKER_01]: Sir, semantics, he just looks like you're fighting win or molding you should have like every day can not be a fight like that'd be peace And he says well the problem is whenever there's a major decision to be made it'll be briefly listened to and then it'll be trumped and I was like [SPEAKER_01]: okay by her decision and she goes like yeah because you know it's her second marriage they have she had a 22 and a 16 year old and then they have a son together.

12:47 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how old a son is she never said it and she feels like he doesn't understand like they're moving and she feels like he doesn't understand that it's not easy. [SPEAKER_01]: 14-girl to move to a different area. [SPEAKER_01]: And like, yes, it's not easy, but that's what we do in life.

13:03 [SPEAKER_01]: So she has taken it upon herself to drive 18 miles one way to take her to school and back. [SPEAKER_01]: And he said, like, I am dead set against this because it is insane because he's right. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that is absolute insanity. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think of that. [SPEAKER_00]: And I just watched the documentary crash with the girl that killed her parents with killed her kids.

13:33 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you. [SPEAKER_00]: And [SPEAKER_00]: watching her and her parents and her parents are like, we're just gonna do everything. [SPEAKER_00]: And like, yeah, that's what happens when you don't set a boundary. [SPEAKER_00]: Like your kid, and this is coming from somebody that doesn't have kids, but I assume your kid should not rule your relationship.

13:47 [SPEAKER_00]: Your kid doesn't get a vote on what happens with the family. [SPEAKER_00]: And you don't override your husband for the sake of your kid. [SPEAKER_00]: Is it hard? [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, it's super hard to move schools. [SPEAKER_00]: Is it harder to get up? [SPEAKER_00]: earlier, so you have to go 80 minutes to school and put that on your mother every day.

14:06 [SPEAKER_00]: That seems way harder than having to deal with a kid manage changing schools, but again, I don't have a kid, but that that seems wild to me. [SPEAKER_01]: It is very wild. [SPEAKER_01]: I would put a caveat like maybe there's sometimes a show of already as many if it makes sense, but I feel like [SPEAKER_01]: parents in general, like as so anti giving their kids grit these days, is it awful to move to a new school?

14:29 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. [SPEAKER_01]: I started a new high school from a completely new country at 16. [SPEAKER_01]: Was it awful? [SPEAKER_01]: Very awful. [SPEAKER_01]: But it's what happens in life, like suck it up and adapt, like this is what happens. [SPEAKER_01]: They're going to be changes. [SPEAKER_01]: They're going to be things that don't align with you, but it feels like, and I feel maybe it's [SPEAKER_01]: parents try to make up for how they felt during when they were raised and they just want to make everything so nice and easy for their kids.

14:56 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, give your kids a better life, but also give them life lessons, driving 80 miles each way. [SPEAKER_01]: That is not. [SPEAKER_01]: They're not going to know what to do when there's difficulty in life, which is inevitable in life. [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember from the school again, the childless person's school of, you know, your kids are in your life for not as long hopefully as your partner.

15:15 [SPEAKER_00]: And so if this is kind of a foundation that you're setting with your husband for the next I don't know four years that she's in school, what about the rest of the life when she's gone, you know, you've made some decisions in four years or however long you've got to drive back and forth to keep her in school that are impacting your husband have you thought about that that's nuts to me.

15:36 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, at this point, it's clear that they don't record each other, so she's not even considering that at all. [SPEAKER_01]: But that's why I'm kind of like taking the husband out of it, but just in general, even for yourself, because he does make the point that right now, they're 20 minutes away from the school and they're late.

15:53 [SPEAKER_01]: So imagine 80 miles. [SPEAKER_01]: Like they're not gonna make it, you're gonna be tired. [SPEAKER_01]: You're gonna be even more cranky, but you want to make your kid happy. [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, [SPEAKER_01]: Well, golfs is, so when you do disagree, what do you do? [SPEAKER_01]: And Marjorie's like, I mean, there's no negotiating.

16:12 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm just going to do what I want, and I tune out. [SPEAKER_01]: Because I'm tired of hearing him rant and raving about stuff. [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, I know it's wrong, but I basically just doesn't care. [SPEAKER_01]: She's at the checkout point and she doesn't care. [SPEAKER_01]: And Orna says, you do realize that the less you listen, the more the other person ransom raves.

16:28 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's so still interesting to see when a couple has a light bulb moment in real time. [SPEAKER_01]: Because you can just see something so simple and she's like, oh my God, that is my life. [SPEAKER_01]: It is true. [SPEAKER_01]: And Jason is like, yeah, like, I just want to be heard.

16:48 [SPEAKER_01]: And politics comes up and she's, I don't know how he came up, but then Marjorie's like, don't get me started of that. [SPEAKER_01]: Because of course, his manga. [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't say that, but he is manga. [SPEAKER_01]: He, he looks like a, he has to look of like a hell's angel. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, he's tall, he's out there including his head, he's bald, he's wearing like a, a plaid shirt.

17:13 [SPEAKER_01]: Is that what it is? [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, something like that, but he has to look. [SPEAKER_01]: about him. [SPEAKER_01]: But I do notice that every time she's trying to explain like when she's trying to explain like I guess his you can see that she's choosing her words very carefully and she's trying to say like oh he's Republican and oh he voted this way she keeps looking at him she keeps turning to look at him for someone who [SPEAKER_01]: feels or seems like she's checked out and doesn't care what he's thinking, she's still conscious of maybe how he's going to come off or how she's saying things and I think I found that quite fascinating.

17:49 [SPEAKER_01]: The dichotomy of someone who's checked out and I don't care, I'm going to do whatever I want. [SPEAKER_01]: We've got to say what you say, but when she's talking about his politics, she's looking at him as she's saying each word and is being very [SPEAKER_00]: And I took that two ways, you know, those TikTok videos where some wife will go on and talk about, oh my husband did this.

18:09 [SPEAKER_00]: Then she hoped that in the comments, people would be like, oh my gosh, you're a queen, but people are like, leave him. [SPEAKER_00]: And she's like, no, no, he's great. [SPEAKER_00]: It feels like that, where she kind of wants to see Orina to see him react in some way. [SPEAKER_00]: So she's like lightly poking the bear.

18:27 [SPEAKER_00]: So she can have Orna on her side to be like, see, look what he did or oh, see, look what he said and maybe she does this enough where he knows I'm not taking the bait on this because he did's a really sane thing that we he, um, shocking and he's, he's the, I don't know, not the worst maga person but somebody that's like, well, I voted for this and not that.

18:50 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, well, that's not how that works. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't get the cherry. [SPEAKER_01]: He does. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, he doesn't understand the weight of what that means. [SPEAKER_01]: He still feels that he has the luxury to be a L'Aquart in that regard when one is like a domino effect.

19:05 [SPEAKER_01]: And if you agree with this, well, it's going to dust because it doesn't affect you. [SPEAKER_01]: This means it doesn't affect other people. [SPEAKER_01]: Um, she says she has a daughter. [SPEAKER_01]: She's a woman and she cannot understand how he can vote in that way. [SPEAKER_01]: He says I didn't vote for him to be like screw them and he's just like fuck it.

19:23 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna say his name. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why we're dancing around this. [SPEAKER_01]: Like I've always like Trump. [SPEAKER_01]: Like I've always liked him even before he the politics came in before he ran for office. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, you know, when he was on home alone and I'm like, you know, um, Jason, how am I going to take you [SPEAKER_01]: He's like, I wouldn't take you, not like how are you even say, oh, from home alone.

19:45 [SPEAKER_01]: I like them. [SPEAKER_01]: He's booked it. [SPEAKER_01]: What was there about anyways, whatever, but that's what he's saying. [SPEAKER_01]: And on our ass, like, okay, what do you care about, Marjorie? [SPEAKER_01]: And she said, no, she's asking them, right, to say what they think the other person cares about.

20:00 [SPEAKER_01]: He says that she cares about women's rights. [SPEAKER_01]: It took him a while to say it, but he said she cares about the gay community, but this man also is [SPEAKER_01]: She was in care for me, or what to say. [SPEAKER_01]: I was to say it, and I'm like, to spit it out. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I mean, it's not that hard, but he says it very weird.

20:23 [SPEAKER_01]: And then, when I asked her, what does he care about? [SPEAKER_01]: And she looks, and she's like, I guess, I don't know what he cares about. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, maybe money, I think he, I like how she said this. [SPEAKER_01]: He thinks our taxes will go down, because the false thing, [SPEAKER_01]: The thing is everyone thing your taxes.

20:41 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like you are not in the 1% guys Right, so if you think you're included in this plan You are not so I like that she did say he thinks our taxes are gonna go down [SPEAKER_01]: And or not, just call them out and it's like, listen, you have not done a good job or talk because Jason is like, oh, we fuck so much about politics.

21:02 [SPEAKER_01]: We talk a lot about it. [SPEAKER_01]: And then she's like, you're not done a good job clearly because you talked a lot about politics, but you don't know what the other beliefs in. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, she says you you don't know what each other stands for, but you know you're a post to it.

21:15 [SPEAKER_00]: Which was like gold. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, and but that requires and to listen to each other. [SPEAKER_00]: And I also was so curious, like, how did you guys get this far? [SPEAKER_00]: What do you agree on? [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I wish I wouldn't have had asked that question. [SPEAKER_00]: So tell me five things that you guys agree on.

21:29 [SPEAKER_00]: Cause let's start from there. [SPEAKER_00]: Do you guys agree on anything? [SPEAKER_00]: How did you guys get this far? [SPEAKER_00]: There's no negotiations. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't care what you think. [SPEAKER_00]: We're done here. [SPEAKER_00]: Where do you go from there? [SPEAKER_00]: So I just, this whole thing baffles me and the whole, like, I'm going to tip to around this, but also again, how did they get this far?

21:51 [SPEAKER_00]: Not only in the relationship, but through voting, the John, I'll talk about this. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, what did that mean? [SPEAKER_00]: And you just sat here and voted your way and you sat in there, voted that way without thinking what that meant for each other is wild. [SPEAKER_00]: So crazy.

22:07 [SPEAKER_01]: That's a good question that I'm hoping that comes out, maybe the rest of the season. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, was it a case where at a point you were getting along, when did the drift or the shift start? [SPEAKER_01]: When did we stop caring? [SPEAKER_01]: When did we stop fighting about everything?

22:25 [SPEAKER_01]: When did it become an addiction where, even if I don't disagree, I'm gonna make myself disagree because that's what I'm used to and that's what we do exactly. [SPEAKER_01]: Because I think there's an element of that. [SPEAKER_00]: because you know that I'm on my second marriage and I think the way that we both approach it is that we're so careful about it.

22:45 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, okay, here's some things that were triggers to me or here's some things I didn't like in my last marriage and I don't wanna carry this on to this one. [SPEAKER_00]: So how is this working for you? [SPEAKER_00]: I heard you say this. [SPEAKER_00]: So when you said this, I reacted this way.

22:58 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean? [SPEAKER_00]: Like, there's so much or communication in the second marriage and there wasn't the first that it's so strange to me that they've gone into the second marriage for her, at least. [SPEAKER_00]: I think it sounds like it's a second. [SPEAKER_00]: Without being more careful, it being careless, I would say, to be like, I don't care.

23:16 [SPEAKER_00]: It's my way of the highway. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so hopefully that comes out, you know, through since this is the inkure introduction to them, we'll see. [SPEAKER_01]: So, Orna tells them that they need to spend 10 minutes talking to the other about what they want. [SPEAKER_01]: And then Jason's like, and then what?

23:34 [SPEAKER_01]: And then she's like this homework. [SPEAKER_01]: And then they'll have fame. [SPEAKER_01]: But I don't know why he's asking in then what? [SPEAKER_01]: That's a huge step. [SPEAKER_01]: It sounds like a baby step, but for them, it's gonna be a muscle they haven't used. [SPEAKER_01]: in a while that just talk it might be difficult and might be easy, but it might be a revelation as well.

23:50 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's what we get for Marjorie and Jason. [SPEAKER_00]: Well, and I think to close out that point is that that's the issue I think people have with therapy. [SPEAKER_00]: is that they think, oh, if we do this, then everything will be solved. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's what he was asking for.

24:05 [SPEAKER_00]: Is that all right? [SPEAKER_00]: If we do this, what does that solve? [SPEAKER_00]: And that's not how that works, sir. [SPEAKER_00]: And so that to be was like the clearest form of somebody that doesn't understand how therapy works because he was like, yeah, results. [SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, you got a long way to go, sir.

24:21 [SPEAKER_00]: This is only your first appointment. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. [SPEAKER_01]: All right. [SPEAKER_01]: Let me take a quick break here and I will be right back. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm back. [SPEAKER_01]: So the b-roll is back, but it looks like it's fresh new b-roll. [SPEAKER_01]: We don't have people from COVID being put in during the season.

24:39 [SPEAKER_01]: The bureau we have is of people head down deep in their phones. [SPEAKER_01]: Again, I don't know what this show is trying to do, but they're just reminding me where we are as human in humanity, it was pretty lengthy too, and each time on the train at the coffee shops, just on the side of the road, everyone was just deep in their phones, just type typing away.

25:02 [SPEAKER_00]: that you're trying to remind me this is in New York City don't you forget this is New York people. [SPEAKER_00]: I do think this is all over the place. [SPEAKER_01]: Everyone's in their phones. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay we meet on C&R and Chris they have been married for 13 years. [SPEAKER_01]: I think we didn't get more information.

25:22 [SPEAKER_01]: I want to say at first I thought C&R was biracial. [SPEAKER_01]: Chris is white but then I'm like it looks like she might be Latina but I don't know [SPEAKER_00]: All I could see when she came on the screen was Rachel Dolazal, and that's all I can call her. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god. [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm so sorry for that lady, because she doesn't deserve this, but every time I see her it's just, Oh, it's Rachel Dolazal.

25:45 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so sorry. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_01]: She's lovely. [SPEAKER_01]: She's lovely. [SPEAKER_01]: And she's really cute lady. [SPEAKER_01]: But she does look now that you mentioned it. [SPEAKER_01]: But. [SPEAKER_01]: The reason why I'm mentioning or trying to see where she's from is because I just think it's a different dynamic and I just want to point out again for those who might be listening, not watching, that it is an interracial relationship, whichever which way, right, that other than her hair, I didn't catch that.

26:14 [SPEAKER_00]: Really? [SPEAKER_00]: I think she looks very white passing. [SPEAKER_00]: She is passing, but she's not right. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what it is, and I don't think she, we don't get into it, and he doesn't seem to be totally whitered there, but there really is. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I thought it was, I don't know, because his hair is dark, I don't know, there's something about him that strikes me as of some sort of Latin descent, but I don't, I don't have any way to prove that he does.

26:38 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, that's fair. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I could think was that Chris looks like he was in an alternative rock band. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, that's pretty cool. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, what a striking couple, like, where, how did they meet, where is this from? [SPEAKER_01]: But they have three kids and they talk about when they met and how it was so cute and she said your hands, well he said, I just want to sit on your face.

27:08 [SPEAKER_01]: And he was just like, well, she's like, no, I didn't really say that. [SPEAKER_01]: I just said you were handsome. [SPEAKER_01]: I want to sit on your face. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, oh my god, he missed one line. [SPEAKER_01]: And then they just seemed to be a nostalgia there. [SPEAKER_01]: And it felt like [SPEAKER_01]: There was love between them.

27:27 [SPEAKER_01]: But when they talk about how they met, you can see that love. [SPEAKER_01]: And after when they met, they were married six months after. [SPEAKER_01]: And then six months after that, they got pregnant. [SPEAKER_01]: And she said that she said that because she had alcohol on a system and she's sober now.

27:46 [SPEAKER_01]: And things were working out, except the few days after Christmas, when she found out that he was cheating on her [SPEAKER_01]: And she said she thought they were happy you know, but she said I thought we were happy But then she said something really quickly like ten years later And it was a big betrayal so now I'm like did it happen again, but We don't know.

28:11 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, maybe I heard that differently because I thought I had heard that she they were together for ten years Or they've been together for ten year or 13 years, excuse me, and then she went back to work [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, later. [SPEAKER_00]: So she was a stay at home mom for like 10 years and then he had the affair when she went back to work because was the timeline on your stood.

28:32 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, interesting. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that's interesting. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: I thought it was two years after she said a few days after Christmas. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so they were married. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, that's fair. [SPEAKER_01]: That's fair. [SPEAKER_01]: He does say that he's childhood was tough, and his mom abused him, and if he needed to talk, he would just shut down, and then like, he would be attacked.

28:55 [SPEAKER_01]: But he feels like when they fight, he also does shut down, and then he just has the need to attack her, and then try to annihilate her, not like physically. [SPEAKER_01]: Just like annihilate her with his words, [SPEAKER_01]: And this just kept happening and Sienna says so casually like, you know, I call it dead sharp eyes Like it's like he's not there.

29:14 [SPEAKER_01]: He just shuts off your emotion and it's like I could set myself on fire right now You wouldn't even notice because you're not there the casual way which he says it It means like I shouldn't be terrified, but I'm like that's not good, right? [SPEAKER_01]: It's like what [SPEAKER_00]: I, yeah, and the the word that he used and I wrote down a dilate because when you think about your partner and like, okay, sometimes, you know, I'm mad at you.

29:38 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to hurt you whatever, but the word annihilate is so strong a word to use against your partner and then for her to be like he wants to annihilate me and he goes dead behind the eyes, but it's fine with what you guys. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just caught myself saying like when he said annihilate not physically and I'm like this is me really hoping that it's not physically and if it is physically they wouldn't cast them on this show but you're right it is a strong word and even if it's not physically you are on the same side of your partner even when you're fighting why do you want to annihilate her because that means destroying her and cutting her down and then you're supposed to come back and say sorry and

30:22 [SPEAKER_00]: That's crazy, yes. [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know if you've got the feeling like I got, kind of like the, not exactly I've got the guy from last season, but I just felt like he wanted to talk about his childhood so badly. [SPEAKER_00]: And Orna wasn't giving him that, but I feel like he really wanted to talk about his childhood so badly.

30:40 [SPEAKER_00]: And there were so many other things to talk about that they didn't get to it, but it's just, he just, alluding to his past. [SPEAKER_00]: And my past was so difficult and my childhood was terrible. [SPEAKER_00]: And this and this and this. [SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, yeah, but we've got to deal with the now.

30:54 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, that's where, and I wrote real big individual therapy, individual therapy, whatever this is, serve deal with it, whatever childhood thing that is like, trying to creep into this conversation, take that offline. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, you're going to deal with what happened with your family first.

31:10 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think what I didn't like about Chris was, [SPEAKER_01]: Should I call it the lack of remorse? [SPEAKER_01]: It feels like, yeah, I did a thing. [SPEAKER_01]: So either you get a border or not. [SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like he feels emboldened to the fact like, well, I mean, she chose to stay.

31:24 [SPEAKER_01]: What do you want me to do? [SPEAKER_01]: What happened? [SPEAKER_01]: Right. [SPEAKER_01]: And it's not like, I'm sorry. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: What do you plan? [SPEAKER_01]: What would you say? [SPEAKER_00]: Just that whole, like, bring up old stuff. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

31:36 [SPEAKER_01]: So I didn't like that. [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, yeah, I'm not saying like, [SPEAKER_01]: every single thing, you're going to be reminded of it, but also every single thing, you remind her of it and say, how sorry you are about it, but not like it happened to happen to deal with it. [SPEAKER_01]: So, Ernest says, how did you think things were great?

31:56 [SPEAKER_01]: if you cheated on her and he's interrupted to say I mean other than that and it's a big other than that I just don't like what is this other that she thought that she was being great because she was really paying attention to him she was being a great wife she was making sure he was okay and this is just a reminder you can do everything in the books that you think is great and if i'm [SPEAKER_00]: That's just for man.

32:26 [SPEAKER_01]: He might even say, like, you're new to much because. [SPEAKER_01]: The cheating started, he said, with platonic cuddling. [SPEAKER_01]: Help me out here, Jen, I'm confused. [SPEAKER_01]: Is there a payment factor to this? [SPEAKER_01]: Like, was he paying to cuddle someone? [SPEAKER_01]: Was he being paid to cuddle?

32:46 [SPEAKER_01]: What is platonic cuddling and then after some time he got physical? [SPEAKER_01]: What does that mean? [SPEAKER_01]: What did you sound to me? [SPEAKER_00]: And there's a and the only reason I believe this was true because I believe there's a movie that Helen Hunt did about this where [SPEAKER_00]: It's a service where people can pay other people just to cuddle, which, okay, it feels like a gateway to something, but also cuddling, it's not like he's with a wife that isn't capable of it.

33:13 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not like, oh, my wife lost her arms and she can't cuddle, so I'm going to base somebody else to do this. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't understand. [SPEAKER_00]: why he needed to go out to another service for something that his wife who clearly, at least from weepsie and on the show, is pretty loving to him.

33:31 [SPEAKER_00]: She doesn't seem to cold. [SPEAKER_00]: She doesn't seem like don't touch me. [SPEAKER_00]: She's not Marjorie. [SPEAKER_00]: So it's strange to me that he would go there. [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, I believe especially in people that have disposable income that you can pay other people to cuddle you.

33:44 [SPEAKER_00]: I believe that. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so I don't think that that's not the case. [SPEAKER_01]: I think my confusion is is it his job, is he paying someone, that wasn't clear. [SPEAKER_01]: I think he's paying someone. [SPEAKER_01]: If he is, why did Oran and I say, what made you seek out that service?

34:01 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what I mean, I don't know what made me believe he was paying for it was because it's a service that he sought out to pay somebody for. [SPEAKER_00]: That's insane. [SPEAKER_00]: But again, but again, because I promise you, he's going to bring this back to his child. [SPEAKER_00]: And it's just waiting to bring this back to his child.

34:20 [SPEAKER_01]: On to see the other part of it was like, maybe he was a friend and then you just had a cuddling. [SPEAKER_01]: That's the other thing. [SPEAKER_01]: I just felt like there were not clear of what this cuddling thing was about. [SPEAKER_01]: Because you can't go from CNN saying, like, oh, I was attentive.

34:32 [SPEAKER_01]: I was around. [SPEAKER_01]: I was great. [SPEAKER_01]: I was this. [SPEAKER_01]: And then you go from, and then I sought out cuddling with someone else. [SPEAKER_01]: Why? [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I just seemed like a huge round hole that was left. [SPEAKER_01]: But anyway, he says after some time he got physical, he says like even afterwards he was like, why am I doing this?

34:48 [SPEAKER_01]: But then he went ahead and he did it again. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't like, oh my god. [SPEAKER_01]: She says what makes it painful is that she doesn't know who he is. [SPEAKER_01]: And he talks like he's absolved and I like it's such a double-edged sword because in some way he has to be absolved if he decided to stay.

35:08 [SPEAKER_01]: Because it's either you stay and you move on past it or you can't stay and keep bringing it up every time It's not gonna be a healthy relationship So she says like and also he never quite came right out and said it She had to find out because he got a text message if someone saying I miss you And she had to dig and the more she dug the more come coming up And this is exactly how she says it makes me so fucking furious like [SPEAKER_01]: The resentment was so physical on her when she said talking about it, I think she was even twitching her jaw.

35:42 [SPEAKER_00]: Her demeanor completely changed because she was kind of the sweet, loving, very like, misracial, coming to me, loving Debbie and then when this came up and she started talking about having a dig for it, her demeanor absolutely changed. [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know if it's because she's on TV and or she's got ornament now and now she's got a stage or a voice that she can put to this anger, but it was it was a switch.

36:10 [SPEAKER_01]: No, I don't think it's because she has a stage, it's because it's like infidelity is hard for some people I will assume to get over because it's a broken trust, especially for her, which is like, this is my person. [SPEAKER_01]: And then the fact that he still seems to be like, so casual about it, like, yeah, I'm gonna happen.

36:27 [SPEAKER_01]: So I think it's just every time she's reminded, it comes right back up and it's like, I wanna move past it, but my body keeps remembering it, and I just get so mad. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I guess it's true, because she didn't come in angry. [SPEAKER_00]: Like she wasn't like what was our favorite girl from last season with the sparkly sweater arms Allison.

36:44 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, Allison came in angry like, yeah, and I think that's the problem. [SPEAKER_01]: I think that's the problem. [SPEAKER_01]: We're going to face with Sienna. [SPEAKER_01]: Seattle wants things to be okay. [SPEAKER_01]: I think he knows that because even her saying describe why you thought everything was great, her description was not that we were working as partners, we were doing things together, he was being attentive to me, it was all her doing service.

37:20 [SPEAKER_01]: I was a great wife, I was paying attention to him, I was doing this, that's what her definition of great is, that's very telling to me. [SPEAKER_01]: Hmm. [SPEAKER_00]: What does it tell you? [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I'm saying. [SPEAKER_01]: Like it's about I I it's not about them being a partner.

37:35 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not like he was doing things for me. [SPEAKER_01]: We were working together. [SPEAKER_01]: We were raising our kid. [SPEAKER_01]: We were aligned in our values. [SPEAKER_01]: It was more about what I'm doing for him. [SPEAKER_01]: That's what made. [SPEAKER_01]: That's how she defined that marriage is great.

37:48 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's telling that. [SPEAKER_01]: She thinks the onus is on her, but it's not about what he's doing for her also. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: Hmm. [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: So she says she's angry, she says she feels stupid. [SPEAKER_01]: She said it broke her to the point where she had to go to an outpatient facility.

38:08 [SPEAKER_01]: And he's like, you know, I feel awful about that. [SPEAKER_01]: And I feel evil. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, am I a sociopath when it's a dissociation? [SPEAKER_01]: But again, the tone he's saying it is not like, I'm concerned that I might be the sociopath. [SPEAKER_01]: It's more like, oh my God.

38:24 [SPEAKER_00]: I might have to draw him up. [SPEAKER_00]: He really, like, wants a balloon. [SPEAKER_00]: He wants a balloon. [SPEAKER_00]: He's so much wants to wear the supervillain uniform and be like, yep, I'm the bad one. [SPEAKER_00]: Check me out. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know why, and again, just because he's so badly wants to talk about this childhood, I think it's going to be all wrapped up and that stuff.

38:45 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: But Arnold blows their minds because she's like, both of you are dissociating. [SPEAKER_01]: See Anna's like, wait, what? [SPEAKER_01]: And I agree again, this is why she's so good and that's what I'm saying is like, Seattle does want things to be okay. [SPEAKER_01]: She is dissociating because if she engages fully, maybe the fear is that you might have to face the fact like, I don't want to stay here and then she doesn't want to be that person that is not in her marriage.

39:11 [SPEAKER_01]: She doesn't want to leave her marriage. [SPEAKER_01]: So, Arnold says they have to integrate. [SPEAKER_01]: and I'm like, I'm very curious about this couple and mostly I'm curious to see why she stayed. [SPEAKER_01]: But also because I was thinking that this happened two years in, so, but even if I'm just curious.

39:25 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, for some people, infidelity is not a deal breaker, but in her case where she's still angry, where he seems to not be so remorseful and where he seems to be disassociating and in his words [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, um, Orna says that um, for the b-roll, she does say that in fiddellities, like a play within a play, and then you begin to find out why people lie.

39:58 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like okay. [SPEAKER_01]: Alright, let me take my last break and I'll be right back. [SPEAKER_01]: And we're back, and we're back with Shay and Clinton. [SPEAKER_01]: And they are the ones who are not caring to season on their back, but I paramount has decided that it's not paramount, really.

40:16 [SPEAKER_01]: It's people who are watching who are like sharing the clip from TikTok, and it's from their session. [SPEAKER_01]: Like we mentioned earlier at the top of the episode, Shay is a trans woman and says that she's been in transition for 23 years. [SPEAKER_01]: And Clinton, while she's talking, Clinton is moving around.

40:37 [SPEAKER_01]: Clinton is moving around, not sitting still, looking around, and She says, oh, he's stimming. [SPEAKER_01]: He's stimming because he's autistic. [SPEAKER_01]: And Clinton says, I like to say that. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, don't say that to me. [SPEAKER_01]: And I already have a glimpse into what their relationship is.

40:52 [SPEAKER_01]: With her already just trying to explain [SPEAKER_01]: or speak for him right? [SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_01]: And he says, like, oh, I'm autistic and I have ADHD and I went undiagnosed until my 30s. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't really know how old he is. [SPEAKER_01]: And he says he's a teacher and he works with kids.

41:10 [SPEAKER_01]: And I gotta tell you that I'm very surprised that it took him that long to be diagnosed. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it does. [SPEAKER_01]: He has all of his algorithms. [SPEAKER_00]: It's very clear. [SPEAKER_00]: And his reactions to [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know if this is just because we're seeing him in a high stress environment, not only the therapy, but also with the cameras and Orna being strangers.

41:31 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if this is all a reaction of the situation, but I agree. [SPEAKER_00]: I think he [SPEAKER_00]: clearly has some diagnosable symptoms. [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm surprised, but we don't know about his family and whether they wanted to admit it or whether, you know, back in the day we've got those people in our families where they're like, they're just special and you don't really think about it.

41:57 [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, it seems to me. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because even, [SPEAKER_01]: You're right, that even it's a high stress situation, but even then he mentions his whole life. [SPEAKER_01]: He's had trouble like, you know, being around people and just had trouble with people.

42:11 [SPEAKER_01]: So as we unfold, we're gifted. [SPEAKER_01]: There was a lot of mention about his mom, so we'll see if we get more background on the family. [SPEAKER_01]: They met on a dating app and she says like, you know, they had a connection and they just have this history and the history is what has kept her in this for a long time.

42:28 [SPEAKER_01]: They're also someone I didn't, I don't know how long they've been together, I didn't see that. [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't feel like the time, but the whole like we were on, we went on five dates in seven days and that was it. [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, okay, you know, I'll try to see if I can get it the next time, intentionally I'll look forward there.

42:49 [SPEAKER_01]: Clinton says that she is one of the most consistent people that he talks to every day, and I'm like, I would hope so. [SPEAKER_01]: She's your girlfriend. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't. [SPEAKER_01]: I do they feel the need to work on their communication. [SPEAKER_01]: She is scared of them moving in because if he doesn't like what she's saying, it becomes an argument and he even goes nonverbal.

43:11 [SPEAKER_00]: He chimes in and says, we say, non-speaking, we don't say non-verbal. [SPEAKER_00]: I love you. [SPEAKER_01]: I gotta tell you for anyone out there, I did not know. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if it's a Clinton thing, but I didn't know that you can't say non-verbal because I just didn't know.

43:27 [SPEAKER_01]: So if anyone is versed on this, I would like to hear about this. [SPEAKER_00]: Do you know Jen? [SPEAKER_00]: I am not versed on it, but it seems to me to be very clearly him. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think he's very clear and I don't, and again, we know he's a teacher, but we don't know what kind of teacher he is, but I think in terms of being able to accurately label issues that he's having and his reaction to things is real important to him.

43:51 [SPEAKER_00]: And because I feel like those are the times where he may be interrupts, Shay is when he wants to be real clear about look, this is what I'm experiencing, and this is what I'm feeling, and this is what I'm exhibiting to you, and I want you to be really clear about that. [SPEAKER_00]: So those are the times where I saw him being really strong, was when he was talking about how he would, how he expresses himself.

44:14 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so he says he doesn't have a lot of friends. [SPEAKER_01]: It's mostly just she and I'm like, oh, that's a lot of not hard to deal with. [SPEAKER_01]: When they started dating, this is she talking and I don't know if this plays into anything but I do want to add that this is also an interracial relationship.

44:35 [SPEAKER_01]: Clinton is black, [SPEAKER_01]: Just for anyone who's not watching, just to give a visual like all that, maybe we'll play into the relationship. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, but just giving all the visuals. [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, you have that, you know, that visually, would you describe Clint as kind of like a comic book nerd, like one of those guys that might like play comic books.

44:59 [SPEAKER_00]: So, visually, that's kind of what they strike me as, where she's a larger white trans woman, and he's just like comic book nerd black guy. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, he reminds me also, if I don't know if you ever watch real world, but Dave, the guy who strapped, I think they kind of look like in that way, but yeah, maybe I'm mixing it up, but yeah, he just always reminded me of him.

45:23 [SPEAKER_01]: So she says that when they started dating, yes, he pulled away from his mom and it's hard being his only resource, meaning like he's just the person that he depends on and relies on as a friend, as everything, as his anchor. [SPEAKER_01]: She says like if she had his mom, she can understand him a little bit, [SPEAKER_01]: And Clinton chimed in to say she doesn't even understand me so you're not even going to get anything out of her and she's like, yes, understood I am speaking from my own POV.

45:54 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, she doesn't understand you, but you don't know what I might get out of it and I'm thinking that I will get something out of it He says he lives with his mom like they're talking about his mom like he's not because she says he pulled away from his mom and I'm thinking [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, pulled away.

46:09 [SPEAKER_01]: They don't really speak, but he literally his mom. [SPEAKER_01]: And then he said he mostly made it on his own for about four years. [SPEAKER_01]: And she says, you are not on your own. [SPEAKER_01]: You have a partner. [SPEAKER_01]: There's a little edge in her voice when she says that.

46:25 [SPEAKER_01]: And then she thinks like, [SPEAKER_01]: on your own means that I don't have any family to ask for help. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I have no one keeping me safe. [SPEAKER_01]: I have no one securing my bag. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, at this point, the resentment is like bubbling over that cool, calm, facade she had is slipping.

46:41 [SPEAKER_01]: Because you have to know that she is very like calm when she's talking. [SPEAKER_01]: It almost feels like you're watching like a British show. [SPEAKER_01]: or something and it's like the, it just gives very classy when she's like a Broadway show like she's just talking and the things like she's wearing like a dress right but it feels like she wears a scarf whether I don't know what the season is or not but it's just all dramatic I guess.

47:09 [SPEAKER_00]: I get the feeling and again, if she has been transitioning for 20 some odd years that she's probably very, very well worst, very, very well burst and therapy speak and that's the kind of impression that it get from her is that she's been through a lot of there because she's quick to, you know, if he corrects her, she's quick to be like, you know, you're right, I understand.

47:31 [SPEAKER_00]: and, like, reheat what he said. [SPEAKER_00]: So it feels like the therapist is in therapy, a little bit, but to your point, she cracks and everyone's in a while, which she gets frustrated. [SPEAKER_01]: So, yeah, because when she's just like, I don't have family. [SPEAKER_01]: I have no one keeping me safe.

47:47 [SPEAKER_01]: I even know what's the current of back. [SPEAKER_01]: And then she's like, he has someone that's secure. [SPEAKER_01]: And Ona says, do you have him? [SPEAKER_01]: And she goes, hmm, we have hopes. [SPEAKER_01]: And then she goes, okay, this is tough. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm not trying to hurt anyone, but I love Clinton for who he is, but he's in consistency, in work, in consistency, in consistency, in emotions is burning.

48:15 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, oh, that's heavy. [SPEAKER_01]: That's heavy. [SPEAKER_01]: And then he goes, we get a glimpse. [SPEAKER_01]: He's like, [SPEAKER_01]: I don't, I don't want to be a burden and it's a little child like we go ahead and say oh my heart hurt when he said I don't want to be a burden oh my sweet baby heart right there and he's like I just want to share like you know I've had trouble with people like I felt like a burden at home I don't want to do that and then she's tearing up and she's like but this is a situation this is why I feel I can't speak because it's hard to be honest and not create pain.

48:51 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, brah, there's a lot here. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how orn as what shovels she's gonna use to dig through this, but I just did so much there. [SPEAKER_01]: And you know, [SPEAKER_01]: my one episode 15 minute glimps into that. [SPEAKER_01]: It's not even 15 minutes. [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever a lot meant they have.

49:12 [SPEAKER_01]: Seven minutes into them is that she just wants to be with someone. [SPEAKER_01]: I still think there's a lot of insecurity lurking somewhere from past things. [SPEAKER_01]: We don't know a lot yet. [SPEAKER_01]: But the way she said, I have no one for me, I have no one helping me, keeping me safe.

49:32 [SPEAKER_01]: That is a very specific thing to say. [SPEAKER_01]: There's no one keeping me safe. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: Um, there's that. [SPEAKER_01]: And she just wants to have a partner because nothing about this makes sense because for lack of a [SPEAKER_00]: And she resents it and she fully holds it and she absolutely to her core resents it.

49:53 [SPEAKER_00]: Like you can't that it's hard being his only resource is so telling like and she's not just his only resource. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, kind of emotionally, she's the only person he talks to, she's the only thing he can engage with and regardless of, or, inclusive of what his relationship with his mom, it seems like this is all he has, but we don't know what she has, like is she so busy with him that she doesn't have her own resources and if so of them, yeah, she's gonna be resentful of that.

50:27 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't, I mean, I know we're not supposed to diagnose these people [SPEAKER_00]: be rooting for people to break up, but I don't see how this relationship is helpful to either one of them at this point. [SPEAKER_00]: He's got a lot of stuff that he's got to work on for himself to kind of give himself a foundation and she keeps giving him and not an out, but if she's truly his only resource, he's never going to learn to develop that stuff on his own.

50:56 [SPEAKER_01]: That's how they're helpful to each other. [SPEAKER_01]: It's in an unhealthy way. [SPEAKER_01]: They both give each other as semblance of normalcy. [SPEAKER_01]: It can be easy transitioning, right? [SPEAKER_01]: It can be easy feeling like I was born in a different body and I just want to be accepted.

51:14 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know her feelings towards being in a larger body if that plays into anything, but feeling like someone sees me and someone wants to be with me and makes me feel like I do have a boyfriend, like a normal person, like I have that. [SPEAKER_01]: And then for him, I don't know how to relate to people.

51:29 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't really know how to, you know, [SPEAKER_01]: You know, social cues are hard for me. [SPEAKER_01]: I can't keep a job or anything. [SPEAKER_01]: She gives that normalcy. [SPEAKER_01]: I have a girlfriend. [SPEAKER_01]: I have someone who's willingly in a relationship with me. [SPEAKER_01]: I can't be that bad.

51:43 [SPEAKER_01]: I have someone who wants to be with me and makes me feel grounded. [SPEAKER_01]: So they're both giving each other something, but it's not healthy. [SPEAKER_01]: it turns into a codependency and she suffers more for it because she's a provider financially emotionally and whateverly and she's getting nothing and she's being depleted in that way but if I lose this it's like a case of you never know like it's not it doesn't even have anything like even people who are quote unquote seemingly normal or anything.

52:13 [SPEAKER_01]: And I see that not because I think she's abnormal, but just like in society, where the people out there and how they define stuff, and they still think they're not good enough. [SPEAKER_01]: So that's already like a general baseline thing, and it's just, there's a lot to unpack for them to feel confident and secure as individuals before they come together.

52:36 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but that's what we want for people [SPEAKER_00]: neurodivergent or not neurodivergent, we want that for people who are, you know, living in the bodies that they were born into, people that aren't like we want you to be whole before you can be with another person. [SPEAKER_00]: And this having this person plug in different parts of your puzzle isn't enough.

53:00 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not enough. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: year after year and seeing the history and I'm like, what is the history? [SPEAKER_01]: What is the history that's keeping you guys together, you know? [SPEAKER_00]: Until your point, Dr. Tane, like it's serving, the relationship serves them in some ways, but it seems to be a disservice in more ways than it does to be a service.

53:21 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yes, it is. [SPEAKER_01]: So, on a show, this was her peer advisory group and she was like, yeah, guys, I have an intense group this time and I'm like, you sure do. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, she says there are people that they're coming in with two versions of the truth and we're living in a post-truth era and that shows up in people's anxiety about their partners and then we get a montage of all the couples doubting their partners in some way or the other.

53:48 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, oh my god, this is dark again. [SPEAKER_01]: Listen, couple's therapy has always been dark, right? [SPEAKER_01]: But it's always had still some kind of lightness where you're like, oh, this couple, ha ha, like, oh gosh, like, or like, you know, Jen is always like, break up.

54:01 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want you guys to meet together and see you don't stop. [SPEAKER_01]: But this season so far, I'm just like, [SPEAKER_01]: I don't even know what I want because it seems so serious and happy, you know, I don't even more. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's way more than just, hey, you never put the toilet seat down or you don't spend time with my mother while she's in town.

54:25 [SPEAKER_00]: Like these are very, very huge issues that are more than just them as a couple. [SPEAKER_00]: They've got a lot of individual stuff going on here that they bring you to the table. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I wonder if this is the season where we get to see or an navigate her. [SPEAKER_01]: therapy skills and how she does this because we are in a different world.

54:50 [SPEAKER_01]: She's right about that. [SPEAKER_01]: Everyone's anxiety is up. [SPEAKER_01]: Everyone is distrustful. [SPEAKER_01]: The apps are making everything just more terrible. [SPEAKER_01]: And then especially what she just said, coming in with two versions of the truth. [SPEAKER_01]: That's it on the baseline right?

55:03 [SPEAKER_01]: But now we're living in a post truth era which truth doesn't matter. [SPEAKER_01]: You can see something staring you in the face and you just create your own reality and we're just peddling [SPEAKER_01]: whatever moves her gender further along and we're just how does she navigate that where it might be hard to people who are not receptive at all to anything new.

55:23 [SPEAKER_01]: Everyone is doubling down on what they believe in. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what we're seeing to your point in this world now is that we're given information or we're being fed information whether we choose to pursue [SPEAKER_00]: that reinforces our beliefs. [SPEAKER_00]: And so if I'm on this side being told, yep, everything that you're saying is right, your partner is an idiot, and my partner's getting the same information.

55:49 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's why they need an orna, like a third person to be like, this is what I'm seeing and hearing from both of you and providing that clarity, otherwise everybody's just living in their echo chamber where their own thoughts, beliefs, and feelings are being reinforced. [SPEAKER_01]: but also everyone's also weaponizing therapy speak that it's just like, oh my god.

56:11 [SPEAKER_01]: If we're trying to like, I want to speak my own truth. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, this is my belief, this is my, whatever, or we have to Chris, it's like, my childhood may need you this, it's not me. [SPEAKER_01]: So, mm. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, our final couple is Nessa and Dre. [SPEAKER_01]: There is same sex couple.

56:27 [SPEAKER_01]: They have been married 11 years and they're together 20 years and they're both black. [SPEAKER_01]: So, Drea thinks that, go ahead. [SPEAKER_01]: Sorry, you think that's interesting. [SPEAKER_00]: Isn't that so black? [SPEAKER_00]: I thought she was maybe Latina, maybe like Puerto Rican or Dominican or something.

56:43 [SPEAKER_01]: We're names are free. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm from Latina, I'm from Latina. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm from Latina. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm from Latina, I'm from Latina, I'm from Latina. [SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, okay, she's Afro Latino. [SPEAKER_01]: If she is Latino, she's Afro, but Drea thinks like Nessa should take the lead because she feels like Nessa wants to be free and live single while be married with someone at home.

57:01 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's just say that's a lie. [SPEAKER_01]: The thing is, I lost myself, but I have evolved and now I want to explore and the mismatch is that Drea has not evolved, and I'm like damn. [SPEAKER_01]: And Dres says, I hate the word he evolved because I'm not on evolved, but oh my god. [SPEAKER_01]: Nessa says, [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I'm just saying like maybe we should have a separation where we figure it out and if we come back, great, if we don't come back, great too, it's just for the best and um, I think, uh, Dre was like, how is this different from the last breakup and I'm like, well, we have a child now.

57:39 [SPEAKER_01]: So that is different. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, agreed. [SPEAKER_01]: That is a big difference. [SPEAKER_01]: You can't just [SPEAKER_01]: I'll split ways. [SPEAKER_01]: Jay thinks like, well, we shouldn't just talk about the bad. [SPEAKER_01]: Let's talk about how good things are. [SPEAKER_01]: And they're like, yeah, we're best friends when things are really good.

57:58 [SPEAKER_01]: But Jay says she feels like, nested things that she can't level her up. [SPEAKER_01]: Again, I'm like, yikes. [SPEAKER_01]: But Nessa does say, like, yeah, I do feel like I'm dragging her with me. [SPEAKER_01]: I want to travel. [SPEAKER_01]: I want to go places by myself. [SPEAKER_01]: And, Dre, I think it's weird to travel without your spouse.

58:20 [SPEAKER_01]: You have the best person to ask that, right? [SPEAKER_00]: And for clarity, I'm looking at my notes. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so sorry. [SPEAKER_00]: I've confused them. [SPEAKER_00]: So, uh, [SPEAKER_00]: Drea is the one we dreads who feels, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, [SPEAKER_00]: to have another driver, like all of these words, this word salad is driving me nuts.

59:06 [SPEAKER_00]: Traveling without your spouse, I think it's makes sense within a specific context. [SPEAKER_00]: Like if my husband is going on a scuba dive trip where it's a bunch of dudes, like have at it, go ahead and travel with your friends. [SPEAKER_00]: But if he just wants to travel to be alone, [SPEAKER_00]: I have questions to think I don't know about that part.

59:27 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think spouses need to be each other's person 24 hours a day, but to travel without my spouse alone, just feels a little strange to me. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what was your problem. [SPEAKER_01]: My first thought is like, I don't, I've never done it. [SPEAKER_01]: My husband has never done it, but I don't necessarily think it's strange.

59:53 [SPEAKER_01]: I think I'm just thinking, oh, I just want to go weak. [SPEAKER_01]: Like maybe a weekend somewhere or something and I just go and I say well, I'm just gonna go there and I'll be right back I don't think it's weird for say as long as it's not like all the time Well, I want to go to Columbia by myself.

1:00:10 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I want to go here by myself like okay But I think what makes it weird is you can't say I am evolved. [SPEAKER_01]: I want to do things You are dragging me down. [SPEAKER_01]: You are only involved and I want to travel by myself now the combination of all of that together [SPEAKER_01]: that's what the problem is.

1:00:28 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, a great. [SPEAKER_01]: But if it was that they were in a good space and she actually thought that her spouse was her equal because all I'm hearing is you are beneath me and you're dragging me down to you status and I don't want it. [SPEAKER_01]: That is the problem. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think wanting to travel by itself.

1:00:45 [SPEAKER_00]: If Rey has said it, where she said about Nessa, like, you want to live a free person's life and be free. [SPEAKER_00]: So if I have the impression that my spouse wants to live a free person's life and be free, then no. [SPEAKER_00]: You traveling without me doesn't feel comfortable. [SPEAKER_01]: Because the next thing is going to come back is like, maybe we should open up our marriage.

1:01:06 [SPEAKER_01]: The things we're not getting from you, please. [SPEAKER_01]: I think it for this purpose. [SPEAKER_01]: us. [SPEAKER_01]: So Necess says like, and the thing is when we first met, I told her I need my alone time, but she needs to be attached. [SPEAKER_01]: The thing is they're attached for themselves is so completely different.

1:01:24 [SPEAKER_01]: Dre is just like, I got to be with you all the time. [SPEAKER_01]: We are Velcro. [SPEAKER_01]: We got to be together. [SPEAKER_01]: Necess is like, no, we are two different people stop. [SPEAKER_01]: And even if we were one person, I don't want to be associated with you. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.

1:01:35 [SPEAKER_01]: So then that's when she says, you know, I want to co-lead like, you know, she has been a passenger and then it turns into a part that I don't like. [SPEAKER_01]: Nessa says that, um, [SPEAKER_01]: She delegates Drea, I guess, to the kitchen. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, what? [SPEAKER_01]: Woo!

1:01:56 [SPEAKER_01]: Did I hear it, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Is that what you heard? [SPEAKER_00]: I think so, but I'm like, all right, tiny New York apartment, do what you got to do if you need space. [SPEAKER_01]: Well, it's one thing if they said, like, you know, we split our chores and then what happens is, like, you know, I'm trying to get kitchen, I like cooking and blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:02:13 [SPEAKER_01]: But it was the way she said, what are you doing? [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, yeah, she delegated me to the kitchen. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, no, yes. [SPEAKER_01]: When she said, and it came right after saying, I'm the lead, and she's been a passenger. [SPEAKER_01]: And I delegated her to the kitchen.

1:02:25 [SPEAKER_01]: And this is gonna be tough. [SPEAKER_01]: It's gonna be like, right now. [SPEAKER_01]: Drea says, like, yeah, I do the shopping, I do the picking, but then she makes comments about, you know, I've been there all day, and then she tries to bring up, well, I can bring up what I do. [SPEAKER_00]: And then that's was like, yeah, I pay all the bills and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, this is giving heteros, yes, they have a very traditional roles in their relationship, like one is very like you do all the traditionally.

1:02:59 [SPEAKER_00]: feminine things and you do this professionally masculine stuff. [SPEAKER_00]: They have a very I guess traditional approach the relationship [SPEAKER_01]: And again, I always say this. [SPEAKER_01]: Us numbers are two people in the relationship on the same page like, who are my on the outside?

1:03:13 [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever works for them, what I did not like is Ness' tone. [SPEAKER_01]: She's just like, yes, I paid the bills. [SPEAKER_01]: And Dre is like, and also Dre are confirming it by saying, like, it doesn't matter what I say. [SPEAKER_01]: She basically doesn't see me as an equal because she's paying the bills and I'm just here cooking so that's it.

1:03:29 [SPEAKER_01]: And it just felt so stained the kitchen have a baby barefoot. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm just like, you know, [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I didn't like it, but then I was like, but then resent her for doing all those things. [SPEAKER_00]: Like I, you're not evolving, but you're also doing all of this free labor that I've put on you, whether you've chosen to be a part of it or not.

1:03:49 [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, their relationship dynamic is strange. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's it's so frustrating to watch because, you know, [SPEAKER_00]: Nessa was clear about what she wanted from Drea than Drea would do it, like, because she said, I don't like the word that I'm not evolved, but what is that you want?

1:04:13 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, what is it that you want in a partner? [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know if Nessa's so, I don't want to tap to tell you what I want, but how is Drea just supposed to know? [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't know, I see both sides to this one. [SPEAKER_00]: It's really frustrating. [SPEAKER_01]: I think it doesn't matter.

1:04:27 [SPEAKER_01]: I think even if she told Drea what she wanted and then Drea did it, she would still be matter her, because it's like I had to tell you what to do. [SPEAKER_01]: I think she just doesn't respect her and that why can't she think for yourself? [SPEAKER_01]: I just think she thinks like, you know how some people are just okay.

1:04:41 [SPEAKER_01]: Like there's some people who are out there who are just like, I just want to be a mom. [SPEAKER_01]: I just want to stay home. [SPEAKER_01]: I just want the simple pleasures of life like, you know, take care of my kids and you do this and whatever. [SPEAKER_01]: And then there's some people like, I want to go out in the world, I need to go out and travel, I need to climb up the corporate ladder, I need to do this or whatever.

1:04:59 [SPEAKER_01]: And then it's like, you think that yours is more important. [SPEAKER_01]: Or even those who choose, like, you know, I just want to say raise my kids, like, they, it's almost like you're judging the women who decide to work. [SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, you think that your job trying to stay home with your kids are more important.

1:05:12 [SPEAKER_01]: And basically, not respecting, I think that's the situation here. [SPEAKER_01]: So even if she tells her, oh, I want you to do this is like, oh my god, I even that I have to spell out her. [SPEAKER_01]: She doesn't even have to desire to want to like level up whatever level up means to her.

1:05:27 [SPEAKER_01]: She doesn't accept her for the fact that I just want my little family. [SPEAKER_01]: I want my partner to be obsessed with me and then we just raise our kids and we're happy. [SPEAKER_01]: So even if she does what she wants, even if she stays home, and she does the delegation and the kitchen, she already is just like, and I'm like, oh my God, I just tell you what to do, and you do it too, ugh.

1:05:45 [SPEAKER_00]: So, is he feel like, do you feel like this change in some way or do you feel like maybe Nessa was like this through the course of the relationship? [SPEAKER_01]: It's through the course. [SPEAKER_01]: For the fact that the next thing that owner asks is how old were you the way 19 and 22.

1:05:58 [SPEAKER_01]: So I can't imagine that Nessa was making all that money at that time and had that dominance financially. [SPEAKER_01]: And then I want a bit like we're going to see who carried the baby if it was carried and wasn't adopted. [SPEAKER_01]: Right. [SPEAKER_01]: Because if it was Dre, that's another thing that she did, you know, for the family.

1:06:17 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just going by making assumptions based on the dynamics [SPEAKER_01]: on their relationship, like, my bet is that on Jaya being the one that carried and then being the one being the mom at being the stay at home mom. [SPEAKER_01]: So I think that's what it was. [SPEAKER_01]: They were so young when they when they met and [SPEAKER_01]: her view of what 20 to be as an adult stayed the same in the nestle doesn't like it and it's like, you know, not matching her, you know, trying to meet her in the middle.

1:06:49 [SPEAKER_01]: You're just barking all demands and saying, you've all evolved. [SPEAKER_01]: It's not like a Harry Potter wands taken. [SPEAKER_01]: make it happen. [SPEAKER_01]: So Nessa says again for the obtain time that she feels like she's shedding who she used to be and she can't explore that in this dynamic and more work needs to be done on Dre's part because they can't do things if they're infused.

1:07:14 [SPEAKER_01]: Which again, before the whole kitchen thing came in, I can understand that. [SPEAKER_01]: We evolve as people. [SPEAKER_01]: As we get older, we find out what we like, but we don't like what we gravitate to, but the whole hope is that you evolve with your partner. [SPEAKER_01]: But in this case, again, I hope she isn't therapy to figure out tools to do that because it's giving, I've made up my mind.

1:07:39 [SPEAKER_00]: That's, and I just need her to catch up. [SPEAKER_00]: Yep. [SPEAKER_00]: And in the middle of all this summer house drama, it's giving Amanda and Kyle in therapy where I'm already balanced. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just waiting for you to either get where I'm at or all hang out so that this looks like your idea.

1:07:58 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm not the bad person, but Necaphil's so checked out of this. [SPEAKER_00]: And all of these because Dre has said, over and over again, like you're my best friend, like my life, [SPEAKER_00]: My entire life is you and our family. [SPEAKER_00]: And so she does not want to not be in this.

1:08:17 [SPEAKER_00]: And Drea doesn't give anything, or not Drea, sorry, Nessa doesn't give anything to say, yes, I want to try too. [SPEAKER_00]: I need this, I want to try too. [SPEAKER_00]: It's just like, I don't get ABC and D, and I'm never going to get it from you. [SPEAKER_00]: So you know, you let me know when you're going to go up.

1:08:32 [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, she definitely Nessa feels like she's bounced already. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, to me. [SPEAKER_01]: Orna asked Drea, Diana Nithats, and Drea says, nope, and I'm gonna Nithats. [SPEAKER_01]: And then she had thought, of course she had thoughts. [SPEAKER_01]: She just was checking, shutting down.

1:08:47 [SPEAKER_01]: And she was like, even the way she says that we are matched, she says it like it's a derogatory work. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, yeah, because she doesn't want to be associated with you. [SPEAKER_01]: But Nithats says like, she just wants to be inspired by life. [SPEAKER_01]: And she feels how world shrinks when it's just then.

1:09:05 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, down. [SPEAKER_01]: That's rough, that's really rough to hear. [SPEAKER_00]: And poor, you know, I'm mixing these two up. [SPEAKER_00]: Drain, you're crying. [SPEAKER_00]: And like, nested doesn't even like rubber bag, or put her hand, you know what I mean? [SPEAKER_00]: There's no like, I'm in this with you.

1:09:23 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just gonna sit here and watch you cry because I'm checked out. [SPEAKER_00]: Uh, this is not choosing her words carefully. [SPEAKER_01]: She just doesn't know. [SPEAKER_01]: She has said, she has said, she has said, on Evolve, she has said you are dragging me down. [SPEAKER_01]: She has not.

1:09:37 [SPEAKER_00]: Only then she didn't say it was an Isleid because it was already. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_01]: I think that is I will be considering that to be the worst Dan Isleid. [SPEAKER_01]: But to say, because this is pretty tough, too. [SPEAKER_01]: This is pretty tough, too.

1:09:50 [SPEAKER_01]: This is pretty tough. [SPEAKER_01]: But multiple times over, over, like, and then she said, love love. [SPEAKER_01]: And then she always bad. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, this is so bad. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I don't know how people. [SPEAKER_00]: And I wonder, and that'd be another fun show. [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, can we just get a camera on them in their car right home?

1:10:06 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, what happens when you get home? [SPEAKER_00]: I was laughing. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: It's been you leave. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it wasn't tough episode because she said Clinton was a burden. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I need to know why everybody. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, my heart, everybody.

1:10:20 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. [SPEAKER_01]: All right. [SPEAKER_01]: Well, that's it for this episode. [SPEAKER_01]: We'll be back for episode two next week. [SPEAKER_01]: But before we leave, Jen Keech or people where they can find you. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you can find me gallevanting all over Bali right now on Instagram and YouTube at [SPEAKER_01]: okay guys you know what it's fine me it is all to call MAPFS and all of the socials send me a comment send me a question let me know what your thoughts are on this episode and please give me a five star rating if you can on Apple podcasts and Spotify helps people find the podcasts and stay subscribed so you don't miss out on any new episodes until next time guys bye