Couples Therapy: S5 Ep. 4 w/Jenn

[SPEAKER_01]: Hello everybody, welcome to Tain Talks. [SPEAKER_01]: I am your host, Tain. [SPEAKER_01]: Here are the new episodes talking about couples therapy season five episode four. [SPEAKER_01]: Here with me is Jen. [SPEAKER_01]: Hi Jen, how are ya? [SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing well. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so excited.

[SPEAKER_00]: I get to be part of the new Tane Talks rebrand. [SPEAKER_00]: I feel I can talk into a new lady. [SPEAKER_00]: I love it here. [SPEAKER_00]: Congratulations on the change. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm looking forward to seeing how I mean I assume most things will stay the same, but I like the idea of the relaunch.

[SPEAKER_00]: So good on you. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, thank you. [SPEAKER_01]: It was asked backwards because the name is last. [SPEAKER_01]: Everything else is interesting. [SPEAKER_01]: Everything is going to be the same. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just hoping to myself. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't say, welcome to all the call.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, wait, it's okay. [SPEAKER_01]: So, you know, we'll get there. [SPEAKER_01]: So, okay, just to remind our guys, it is now patreon.com slash taint talks to you why an ETALK. [SPEAKER_01]: As you can get bonus episodes in there, I am currently covering 90 days. [SPEAKER_01]: resort and you can get ad free episodes and you can get video episodes sometimes also over there.

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I mean join the season guys. [SPEAKER_01]: I was just telling Jen this before we started recording like I [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I always enjoyed it, but no way, I think last season was a dud. [SPEAKER_01]: Did you talk about that where it was just like, uh, it was just painful. [SPEAKER_00]: I think it was just kind of like, there was no, not resolution, but it was just like, there was nothing to like forward to.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was just kind of like, oh no, what pile of do we're gonna open this week? [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, this one feels like layers being peeled back, which I think it keeps it entertaining. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it just reminds you that being a human being or is just homeless. [SPEAKER_01]: There's no way to figure it out, so he can't get a hand on it.

[SPEAKER_01]: Like, so unfair that we have to be human. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, it's so hard. [SPEAKER_01]: It's a lot. [SPEAKER_01]: But you were saying that this was your favorite episode. [SPEAKER_01]: I want to hear more. [SPEAKER_00]: It was and I don't really have a reason why. [SPEAKER_00]: I think I just when it ended.

[SPEAKER_00]: I kind of like, oh no, it ended. [SPEAKER_00]: Although I was happy. [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't have a secret space, but I think there was something about I wanted more. [SPEAKER_00]: from it. [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't really have a reason why, but I don't really like it. [SPEAKER_00]: It felt like, oh, I'm unfinished and I want to know what else is next.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, we always talk about like, what happens on the car right home? [SPEAKER_00]: And I think this is kind of what it feels like for people on therapy, where it's like, oh, we've spent an hour getting this far and it stops. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think we're meant to what it felt like for me.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we're right here. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: No, I mean, it's, I'm just enjoying the season of Raw. [SPEAKER_01]: I think I said I really enjoyed last episode. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if it was my favorite. [SPEAKER_01]: It's just like, I'm just so very fascinated by the human psyche.

[SPEAKER_01]: And these people are giving us that. [SPEAKER_01]: They're giving us a lot of the things. [SPEAKER_01]: And just, you know, actually participating. [SPEAKER_01]: Again, yes, another reason why last season was a slow. [SPEAKER_01]: I forget the guy, the couple who quit, he was trying to control the therapy.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so it wasn't working and then his wife was also a therapist and she was going along with his bullshit. [SPEAKER_01]: So these people are actually putting in the work, at least from as a viewer. [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm enjoying that. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so the episode starts with Drea saying like she is learning the tools and whatever therapy speak because honestly guys that is the language that Nessa speaks I said that last week think it's just a lot of therapy speak and she says she's working on her internal voice so that it isn't ruining whatever situation she walks into a first I'm like what does that mean and hopefully you're not blaming yourself for something.

[SPEAKER_01]: And then I was like, wait, they were in the same place from last episode. [SPEAKER_01]: Then I realized it was like the episode hadn't started yet. [SPEAKER_01]: It's just kind of leading up to what Orner is about to say. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, you're like a detective. [SPEAKER_00]: I want to spend, I think I need another show where it's like, what's in Tane's mind?

[SPEAKER_01]: I can't believe it. [SPEAKER_01]: Letting you think of who it's. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, you pick a show. [SPEAKER_00]: I want you. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'll tell you. [SPEAKER_00]: That's what I was telling you. [SPEAKER_00]: Like you, just your stream of consciousness. [SPEAKER_00]: Like what are you thinking right now?

[SPEAKER_00]: And it needs to be a video component because I need to see what you're googling while you're trying to process what you're seeing here. [SPEAKER_00]: I love this. [SPEAKER_01]: If you include that part, then we're going to be here forever. [SPEAKER_01]: Because it's very sweet for ever to watch shows that my ass is just signaling the whole thing.

[SPEAKER_01]: But Arna says that people are coming more educated with a certain kind of therapy vocabulary. [SPEAKER_01]: If you guys remember, I did see this. [SPEAKER_01]: I think when we first started when we were talking about this season feels different because Arna has to face like different situations now.

[SPEAKER_01]: And we here on and say this as she's walking, like a zebra crossing or something, I'm siding her, Jan, because I'm like, because you don't know the braids. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, braids. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm done from the dogs. [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, the braids that she had done, looking like a color 30 over there in the back.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I'm a lady of a certain age that's prone to experimenting, but I'm not, no, you're also black, [SPEAKER_00]: I can't get her noticed. [SPEAKER_01]: You're also like, I mean, there's nothing wrong with the braids. [SPEAKER_01]: I was just like, or no, what are we doing here?

[SPEAKER_01]: Like, what? [SPEAKER_01]: I first thought it was feathers. [SPEAKER_01]: And I looked around and I'm like, wait, no, it's like, she's like a blundish brat, whatever. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, you do you, Dr. Orner, like, who will have to listen to a lot? [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever helps you get through it, that's true.

[SPEAKER_01]: So. [SPEAKER_01]: We see Chris throwing up disorders that he has ADHD that has this and that and owners like when they import these concepts from the mental health world it's great but you're just wondering like what are you trying to say to me like I'm top of everything else she has to kind of decipher what they're trying to say and then we see Shay say Clinton is a bottoms up conversationalist basically he's a processor and she's an avoidant and I'm like oh my god [SPEAKER_01]: This does something.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's awesome. [SPEAKER_00]: Diagnosis too. [SPEAKER_00]: What do we have today? [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: So basically, it's not the episode starting, but it's just a reinforced honest point that listen, I have to parse through these people. [SPEAKER_01]: They're coming already, you know, self-diagnose like going to the doctor, having symptoms instead of going listening to your doctor, you're Googling the symptoms and saying, oh my god, is either I have cancer or I have [SPEAKER_01]: just a sore and you know whatever it is there's a wide spectrum of things but people something about going to therapy makes people defensive either you want to prove I'm not that bad or I'm aware of my issues like whatever you tell me I'll do that so they just don't come as they are so I think that's what she's trying to tell us or they want to

[SPEAKER_00]: have justifications as to why they are. [SPEAKER_00]: Like why am I the way that I am? [SPEAKER_00]: Like rather than go, huh, instead of trying to go, this is where I am and move forward from here. [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, well, how did I get here? [SPEAKER_00]: Which sometimes is important, especially in a relationship.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I went to, I feel like I should not be admitting this because people are gonna come for me, but I went to get there. [SPEAKER_01]: Don't put me trouble. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, it's it's it's me, not you. [SPEAKER_00]: But I went to grad school. [SPEAKER_00]: And the very first day the our professor said, okay, you're going to read the DSM for so it's the diagnostics statistical manual.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that's kind of, and it outlines all of the diagnoses that people have. [SPEAKER_00]: He's like, you're going to read this book and think that you have everything. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have everything. [SPEAKER_00]: And then, absolutely, dad, I was like, oh, no, I'm bipolar. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, no, I'm this.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, no, I'm that. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's kind of what it feels like where somebody has briefly read a thing and go, oh, that's me without really understanding, like, in order to be this, you have to have a very severe, [SPEAKER_00]: case of it. [SPEAKER_00]: Like it has to be wildly impacting your life.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like you're not bipolar just because you max out your credit card. [SPEAKER_00]: That's not what that means. [SPEAKER_01]: But in defense of, I don't know who I'm defending. [SPEAKER_01]: I just feel like we live in a different world that even something [SPEAKER_01]: that may not have been 20 years ago could be now.

[SPEAKER_01]: Like all our attention spans are shorter. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think I was that addicted to social media or scrolling or doom scrolling. [SPEAKER_01]: The world is much worse like this more doom and gloom. [SPEAKER_01]: than it was, not like to say there weren't things, but it just didn't feel this heavy, and also we've just never recovered from the pandemic, which would never experience at least most of us on Earth now, unless people that went through, yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: for the most part most of us so it's just a lot to that maybe it is maybe now everyone is prone to having all of this because a lot of circumstances have changed and a lot of the textbooks even that we're written did not account for the pandemic and afterwards you know so [SPEAKER_00]: And I think there's, and there's an awareness too, and I'm not saying, and I'm not saying it's wrong that people are diagnosing themselves or having an awareness that like, oh, hey, these things impact who I am that makes sense, like even when we talk about later when Clinton was diagnosed later in life, it's like, yeah, that really informs a lot of who you are, but there's other parts to you too.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's what I'm going to impact in therapy. [SPEAKER_01]: I think that's part of what we're struggling with is like people are now making it a personality and it's not even trying to find ways to make it better. [SPEAKER_01]: You get to diagnosis, it becomes a personality, well, I'm aware I have this and then the journey ends.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I always say like yes, our childhood informs. [SPEAKER_01]: who we are are adulthood or behaviors and things, but at a certain point, we do have to take responsibility for what we become, because one of my favorite quotes in life is practice makes perfect, so be careful with your practice.

[SPEAKER_01]: So you don't want to be a certain kind of person and people are like, no, I'm not that kind of person, but if you do something once, twice, maybe you are that kind of person. [SPEAKER_01]: Even if you don't wanna admit, which I'm gonna talk about later, because I saw something similar in one of the couples.

[SPEAKER_01]: But let's start with Shay and Clinton, who we did not have last week, so we're going to make sense that they are starting with them. [SPEAKER_01]: We just the other thing. [SPEAKER_01]: We also had three couples. [SPEAKER_01]: So I don't know if we're going to go back to four couples, or if it's just going to be three, or if they're prepping us, if one couple is going to drop out.

[SPEAKER_01]: So we're just getting ready for three, but [SPEAKER_00]: No, it just feels like having three a week gives more time to each one. [SPEAKER_00]: Not that it felt rushed having all four, but I think we got more in depth. [SPEAKER_00]: There was a lot less bouncing around when we just focused on three.

[SPEAKER_00]: I like it. [SPEAKER_00]: And now like bringing one in and leaving one out. [SPEAKER_00]: And then this is for me. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, um, I don't think this has been mentioned or if I missed it, because remember we were wondering when she paid off his credit cards, we're like, what does she do for work?

[SPEAKER_01]: But we see that Shay has a body of work. [SPEAKER_01]: They show us her body of work on the runway in print. [SPEAKER_01]: And not like no, slouchy print, too. [SPEAKER_01]: This is like Cosmo and then things. [SPEAKER_01]: And she was a model. [SPEAKER_01]: But there's saying was, well, Orna is one telling Virginia, but I'm like, does she still do it now?

[SPEAKER_01]: What she do now? [SPEAKER_00]: And she was doing the thing big, like you said, like I realized that she was not the voice, it seems like, and I would have to look around. [SPEAKER_00]: Just a notable, a notable, yeah, yeah, yeah, interesting, interesting. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like headlines and everything.

[SPEAKER_01]: So, on our tellin' Virginia, that she's a highly ambitious person once a reliable secure life for herself. [SPEAKER_01]: And my in a monologue is like, and is dating clean. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I was like, wait. [SPEAKER_00]: What? [SPEAKER_00]: Are we going to ask that question? [SPEAKER_01]: Let's what?

[SPEAKER_01]: So she says she's telling Virginia and this and I, well, the thing is Clinton just left his mom's home. [SPEAKER_01]: So he kind of has a belated adulthood, but she's tolerant of it, but she's also impatient about it. [SPEAKER_01]: Shay says that Clinton is her youngest boyfriend. [SPEAKER_01]: We're now in therapy and only she only dated men.

[SPEAKER_01]: They were 10 to 15 years older and because she finds men her age immature and she's looking forced to ability once again. [SPEAKER_01]: Tain was like all these talk of stability and security. [SPEAKER_01]: I just wanted to know why you didn't Clinton now. [SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, I and I can't imagine that came out later like his instability and not that he's not accomplished, but not at a level at somebody who's [SPEAKER_00]: on paper, the person that she would select would be.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I don't even understand what the attraction is. [SPEAKER_00]: Like for her to be, I'm, again, highly ambitious. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm physically tangibly accomplishing things. [SPEAKER_00]: I have things that you can point to that show my accomplishment. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm motivated and she's like, yeah, like maybe she maybe she needs to be with Nessa.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't understand what the, [SPEAKER_00]: draw is for her to be in a relationship that's completely the antithesis of what she's used to and what's comfortable and what makes them most sense for her, both personally and professionally, it's strange. [SPEAKER_01]: And to your point, it didn't come out later about Clinton because he just moved out of his mom's house.

[SPEAKER_01]: He's living his mom. [SPEAKER_01]: So I don't get it. [SPEAKER_01]: I still think that it is something [SPEAKER_01]: deep within her and insecurity and the only way to kind of work it out is by being with someone that you think you can not cure but fix. [SPEAKER_01]: because if she dates someone that is on her level like before, again, we don't have enough information whether she's still due to she feel like oh, I aged out of modeling, I don't do modeling anymore or if it has, we haven't, maybe they're not gonna talk about it because maybe it doesn't bother her at all.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if her size bothers her if that's ever made a play in her entire life. [SPEAKER_01]: She hasn't talked much about [SPEAKER_01]: being trans what her journey was like she's here and there she said little things I don't know I'm just trying to pick out all different things that she could be struggling with but in order I trust because you know even with some fuffles now she's like hey tell me a little about your background and then we just Melalala we hear all the things so I think we're just biting our time with her but one of these days when she talks it's gonna click [SPEAKER_01]: but there has to be something why you went from dating older men's and you want stability, you want that to date Clinton.

[SPEAKER_01]: She does say that Clinton brings out the child in her and makes her laugh, but quickly adds that she's easily aggravated by him. [SPEAKER_01]: she says when she met him, he had it, but was not diagnosed. [SPEAKER_01]: That's autism. [SPEAKER_01]: But as soon as he got a diagnosis, it's almost like he began to demask and was like so authentic, basically she was saying he was too authentic.

[SPEAKER_01]: And then he's like, whoa, I got you know my safest person. [SPEAKER_01]: So it gives me the luxury to be myself, which I think is a little unfair, but we'll get into that. [SPEAKER_01]: She says none of my friends want to be around him. [SPEAKER_01]: Again, why are you with this man? [SPEAKER_01]: You have not said a good thing about it.

[SPEAKER_01]: Even when you said he makes me laugh, it's like past tense. [SPEAKER_01]: He brought out the child and me. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, the child is out the child's plane. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, we're done. [SPEAKER_01]: So when there's always nothing. [SPEAKER_00]: There's always a butt with her, too.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like she'll say something. [SPEAKER_00]: nice and then there's a butt and there's not any and it's not the complimentary sandwich where you say something [SPEAKER_00]: Nice to see something less nice but then you end it with something nice like there's there's not the compliment sandwich it's like Here's everything.

[SPEAKER_00]: I here's the good qualities about him, but here's all the things that suck All the things that suck are important and I don't know if the way that the the way Clinton shows up If we're ever going to be in a place where she can fully tell her story because and the camera does wonderful at picking up on this [SPEAKER_00]: that even when she is talking, Clinton's head's to the side and he's making faces and he's talking with his mouth even though he's not saying anything.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't know if there's ever a place where she can fully just be heard because he takes attention in the room and not because he's doing it in a mean way. [SPEAKER_00]: That's just who he is. [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't know if we're going to get to the point where we can just focus on her in this form.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean, I do think she gets to say her story. [SPEAKER_01]: A lot of what we see from Clinton is him reacting, actually. [SPEAKER_01]: And if anything, I don't think that he gets to say his story. [SPEAKER_01]: He gets to react to her story, but she's always the one. [SPEAKER_01]: She's the narrator.

[SPEAKER_01]: The same way, Nessa's a narrator in that relationship. [SPEAKER_01]: She's an narrator in this relationship, you know? [SPEAKER_01]: So she says none of her friends want to be around him because they struggle to relate to him. [SPEAKER_01]: Or not asking how do you feel he goes, and I'm used to it.

[SPEAKER_01]: She says like, yeah, I'm not trying to be mean, but I feel like he uses it as a defense from growing and then he turned around owner is like, I think he just lost him. [SPEAKER_01]: He says he doesn't, but it frames every single aspect. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I'm sorry. [SPEAKER_01]: I have to say it how he said it.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't, but friends, every single aspect of whom I am. [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, you being trans. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I gasped, but everyone seemed okay. [SPEAKER_01]: So I said, okay, maybe that's okay to say. [SPEAKER_01]: And he said, I've had to reframe my life. [SPEAKER_01]: My child's just imagine that he's copying his hand while he's saying this and just getting agitated.

[SPEAKER_01]: Reframing his life and his childhood, he's yelling at this point, and I don't know how she does this every day. [SPEAKER_01]: If I cannot speak to my partner, level-headed, and to your point, I don't think he can help himself. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, do I think that's what Shay is saying? [SPEAKER_01]: That's... he's not growing, but I'm like, how do you grow and also realizing that he just got diagnosed not long ago?

[SPEAKER_01]: And maybe I don't want to speak for him because or not I didn't get into this, that's what he meant when he said, [SPEAKER_01]: it's a journey. [SPEAKER_01]: You're not going to wake up one day and then that's it and you have it figured out if and again we're not getting enough information as to how long this journey has been and when she said transitioning but let's say I think we did it because like 23 years she said how old is she?

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how old she is but exactly in the first episode she said she's been dealing with those 23 years. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I know, but I mean, is that from teenager, is that from 20s, is that it's a whole different that we don't know, but it's like, it's a journey for you to realize like where, what does my womanhood, how do I define my womanhood and what is it for me?

[SPEAKER_01]: And he just got diagnosed and he's not going to know. [SPEAKER_01]: In, what is it? [SPEAKER_01]: It's just, it's Lisa, it's like two, three years, I guess? [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, for some reason. [SPEAKER_01]: These were diagnosed and suddenly just figured out and know how to operate. [SPEAKER_01]: But she's calm.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's like when he starts like getting agitated, she's not phase at all. [SPEAKER_01]: She's just like, I hear you. [SPEAKER_01]: And I wonder why owner doesn't tell him, like, do you know that you don't have to yell at her? [SPEAKER_01]: But she didn't. [SPEAKER_00]: So, that's a lot, and I think in first of all, I wasn't laughing because I'm laughing at Clinton, I'm laughing because your interpretation of them is so spot on because, and for anybody that hasn't seen it, it doesn't really good.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I think that's right. [SPEAKER_00]: I think he's able to make that connection [SPEAKER_00]: between what I'm going through is what you've already been through. [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean? [SPEAKER_00]: And again, I feel like she's been managing her life as a trans person for a very long time.

[SPEAKER_00]: Where he's a baby at this, and he's like, yeah, it frames every part of my existence, especially when we didn't know what it was, and I didn't know who I am. [SPEAKER_00]: And now that I can say, I do this because of this, [SPEAKER_00]: I have that that freedom to do it, and I'm with a partner who should on some level understand what I'm going through, but see what I'm going through as a negative and I can see why that would be frustrating for him.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's like, let's say you have symptoms and you're going to a doctor trying to find like a diagnosis and it's like, you'll find you'll find you'll find, but then it's like, it's almost like, I'm grateful I'm fine, but I'd rather know what's making me say, we're so actually treated and now that I have an answer, then I'm gonna go through that.

[SPEAKER_01]: But let me take a fresh break and I'll be right back to continue talking about them. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, we're back. [SPEAKER_01]: So she says, again, that she thinks, because he just got his diagnosis, that he uses it as a quandary for bad habits. [SPEAKER_01]: And Orner is just like, yeah, you're in tricky grounds.

[SPEAKER_01]: Let's rephrase that. [SPEAKER_00]: I like that she said, but we're like, hey, I am the therapist so you're not you. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I need you to not put stuff on him. [SPEAKER_00]: I like that she did that. [SPEAKER_01]: Honestly, it's just great production because when you think about it, how they started, how they made sure to tell us what we're going to encounter in this episode of people coming with their own wisdom because they think they know and they're using all these language and seeing it play out.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, that was a very good setup for it. [SPEAKER_01]: So, she says sometimes, he doesn't recognize that the level of authenticity overwhelms her. [SPEAKER_01]: And Orna says, okay, give me an example. [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, okay, I'm going to work, trip. [SPEAKER_01]: So, I guess she's still a model.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, I hit this vagueness. [SPEAKER_01]: She just gets closer to me. [SPEAKER_01]: I was that annoying child who always ask questions when I don't have the answers in what both the heck I do. [SPEAKER_01]: I want to create the picture, the full picture in my mind. [SPEAKER_01]: And when I don't have it, then it's just, what's it?

[SPEAKER_01]: For those of you who watch some of our house, when Ben said he had an indiscretion in her dad, he's dad then talks to him anymore. [SPEAKER_01]: I created my own damn story because it didn't tell me and I told Brian I was like he got a girl pregnant made it happen abortion and that is that he killed somebody he killed a life and now he's never going to talk to him and all he was was they caught them in bed.

[SPEAKER_01]: So you see you know give me information so I don't have to make it up okay [SPEAKER_00]: So I do that with people in restaurants if like we see a couple and I'm just like and they're not talking or whatever I'm like what do you think their story is this is their first date? [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know he's not acting like their first date.

[SPEAKER_00]: Why is he on his phone? [SPEAKER_00]: Did it and he's like can you just let them eat like no I need to know their story [SPEAKER_01]: So, um, yes, she's going to know work trip and she has like an apple charger that she wants to take and she tells him to put it in the luggage and he's just like, no, you have something else that you can use and that turn into an argument for an hour.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, oh my god. [SPEAKER_01]: That is two episodes of a couple's therapy or one Netflix show or something, like just found an hour, I don't know how much energy. [SPEAKER_01]: So Ernest says to him, like, what would he be like if he just let his slide? [SPEAKER_01]: And he was like, I could, but I really just want her to understand where I'm coming from.

[SPEAKER_01]: Like I would have dropped it if she heard me out. [SPEAKER_01]: So the missing piece is she thinks they're arguing about that and he's being stubborn, well he is, but he's just like, I want to feel heard. [SPEAKER_01]: And I think it goes back to him wanting to feel heard in a relationship, recognizing that she has the upper hand and he's constantly feeling like a failure and just wanting to be like, I have good ideas too and, you know, that's what it is.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's what I took it like, too. [SPEAKER_00]: Like if she's always taking care of him and this is the one area [SPEAKER_00]: that he can be helpful and like, hey, here's something I think would be useful for you and she's like, no, just do what I said. [SPEAKER_00]: I could see why that would be frustrating for him.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, she says, yeah, except that he got aggravated, swatted a box halfway across the room at me. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, uh, wait. [SPEAKER_00]: He got a number going to argue about the box. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, he's like, I didn't swap the box. [SPEAKER_01]: Well, yeah, I did. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, well, I just swapped the box that you were purpose.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, we're, we're, we're talking. [SPEAKER_01]: His going on and honor is like, okay, question, question, question. [SPEAKER_01]: Do you know how to pick your battles? [SPEAKER_01]: Which I think is a fair question. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how far he goes on the spectrum of his autism, but I do know like one of the symptoms is like just being hyper fixated on something and just wanting to get that across.

[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't really matter. [SPEAKER_01]: And he may not recognize like, I'm just, you can let it go. [SPEAKER_00]: So what also he's going to need tools to figure out how that is. [SPEAKER_00]: He's not just the awareness, I don't let things go. [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, what is the tool for letting that go, which I don't think orna as evidence by she went to a different specialist to talk about autism is capable of getting that tool to him.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and he doesn't know the difference between, oh, I'm standing up for myself. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm contributing to my relationship. [SPEAKER_01]: And you know what, for the sake of peace, like I can let the skull. [SPEAKER_01]: So he says, sometimes I do see what she's saying, and I hear how she's feeling, and it's another alternative to, you know, let it go.

[SPEAKER_01]: And Orna says, [SPEAKER_01]: uh uh no he says it's the way she says it like I just don't like the way she says it like maybe if she said it nicely because again she's always telling the story she narrates like she's narrating like she's leading whistle down. [SPEAKER_01]: Link [SPEAKER_01]: She's no it's true like and it just she's just even killed she's calm like even when she said you swatted the box She's not like Oh dramatic or clutching up her it's just even till and just saying it and sometimes you know is very easy [SPEAKER_01]: to think that, oh, just because you're calm, you're in the right.

[SPEAKER_01]: Because also, how are you saying things? [SPEAKER_01]: If you're, if he aggravates you easily, if you're irritated, if you're impatient, and you're talking to him like, oh, my God, you idiots. [SPEAKER_01]: You're not saying that in the story, because you're the one saying the story. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going to make myself look bad.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, this is good. [SPEAKER_00]: And you know, you know, I'm deep in this summer house, Kyle and Amanda Sierra and West thing. [SPEAKER_00]: And this feels very like, you know, when Amanda would tell the story to Sierra and Sierra comes out going, oh, Kyle's a jerk, but now that she's seen the other side, she's like, oh, I only had one side of the story.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what we're kind of feeling like we're only getting shades very controlled side of the story, which Clinton doesn't argue with. [SPEAKER_00]: He never says that didn't happen, that didn't happen. [SPEAKER_00]: But to your point, we're getting [SPEAKER_00]: not a sanitized version, but a version where she's her hands are clean.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, a lot of what they're going to have to deal with is, Shay, do you have the patience to walk him through navigating this diagnosis? [SPEAKER_01]: Because it's like when your baby has to learn how to walk, like he just doesn't know and he doesn't have all the things, like maybe she does have a point.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to dismiss what she's saying. [SPEAKER_01]: Like everything can't be, oh, I did something. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, man, I need to do better next time. [SPEAKER_01]: You just can't say, well, it's my autism and then that's it. [SPEAKER_01]: That is also frustrating like you have to have a plan on what are the things that you think will help you like how are you since you got diagnosed what have you done like how are you trying to integrate like [SPEAKER_01]: walk through this journey.

[SPEAKER_01]: Of your diagnosis, but I also noticed that his shirt says my ADHD makes it so hard to focus and focus sounds like a whole old lot. [SPEAKER_00]: Did it also say Abercrombian fits on the bottom because that threw me off? [SPEAKER_01]: couldn't make it that far. [SPEAKER_01]: He was sitting down.

[SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't gonna go back and that's the best I could do. [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, but that's him, you know, having his diagnosis frame it is him having it on a t-shirt. [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, he's living in a very different world. [SPEAKER_00]: He's the baby version of what she spent 23 years already doing.

[SPEAKER_00]: And again, which is fine, I think they would be great friends. [SPEAKER_00]: how this is a sustainable relationship for them both. [SPEAKER_01]: I just have so many questions because also as owner, I'm just like, so where does the romantic part, you know, we've said it, she's a caretaker.

[SPEAKER_01]: Where is the romantic part of this relationship? [SPEAKER_01]: Where is the fun? [SPEAKER_01]: Where is what are you getting out of this? [SPEAKER_01]: So Orna says maybe they tried to accommodate and let go of 25% of things that they get to stubborn about, and it's like we are so both so stubborn.

[SPEAKER_01]: Orna is like, oh yeah, I can see that. [SPEAKER_00]: Say what? [SPEAKER_01]: Clinton says that he's a high achiever, so he's going to aim for 100%. [SPEAKER_01]: My analogue is like, how do you calculate 25% of the things to let go? [SPEAKER_01]: Since things haven't happened yet, so if something happens, do I let it go now?

[SPEAKER_01]: How do I add up my 25%? [SPEAKER_01]: So, but it made sense to them. [SPEAKER_00]: So, go on my. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if I like anybody as a couple. [SPEAKER_01]: I think I have favorite individuals. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if I like anybody as a couple. [SPEAKER_01]: I think I have favorite individuals.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if I like anybody as a couple. [SPEAKER_01]: I think I have favorite individuals. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if I like anybody as a couple. [SPEAKER_01]: I think I have favorite individuals. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if I like anybody as a couple. [SPEAKER_00]: I think I have favorite individuals.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if I like anybody as a couple. [SPEAKER_00]: I think I have favorite individuals. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, okay, I shouldn't rephrase that. [SPEAKER_01]: My favorite couple to watch is Nessa and Dreya. [SPEAKER_01]: Like when they come up, I'm excited. [SPEAKER_01]: I'd turn up it.

[UNKNOWN]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, what fuck should is Nessa gonna say today? [SPEAKER_00]: Look, I'm like stupidies, you get out of here. [SPEAKER_01]: So anyway, Marjorie and Jason, we see them laughing at GoCard. [SPEAKER_01]: This is before the, [SPEAKER_01]: This is before their their possession and they're in the waiting room.

[SPEAKER_01]: He says, how do you think I lost weight? [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, I don't know, for your significantly thinner and next year, it's my turn for people to notice. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, that is a weird statement, but again. [SPEAKER_01]: He says dedication, hard work, and sacrifice, and she's like, I know stop making me feel bad about yourself.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's about myself. [SPEAKER_01]: It's fucking annoying. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, okay. [SPEAKER_01]: She seems to be brought it up. [SPEAKER_01]: So they'd go in for therapy and he's like, oh, how owners like house the week, they're like, they just moved, it's very stressful, they're fighting.

[SPEAKER_01]: She's actually didn't do any of the boxes and she just sat with the kids. [SPEAKER_01]: Then he came home and was like, ugh, you didn't do any of the boxes, you're so lazy. [SPEAKER_01]: And she hates when he calls her lazy, um, when they don't fill in the blanks like I said earlier in my mind now I'm just like her kids are spoiled because put them kids to work well my friend was like you moved again didn't they move didn't they start to move this was the upcoming move they had mentioned that they were going to move and that's when she's going to start driving and he said right now school is 20 minutes now it's going to be like okay terrible place so.

[SPEAKER_01]: So, because she honest says why does she not like it, she says because she remembers all the other times when he was home, he was playing video games, he was doing nothing in the house, and she didn't say anything, which I find so hard to do. [SPEAKER_00]: You're super know. [SPEAKER_00]: No way.

[SPEAKER_00]: Nobody believes that. [SPEAKER_01]: No way, so honor continues to pull that thread and it's like, okay, continue. [SPEAKER_01]: Keep talking. [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, yeah, she hates it because I work very, very hard. [SPEAKER_01]: I work very hard. [SPEAKER_01]: She says, I think I just, you know, I'm having a lot of feelings about his weightless journey.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, yeah, you can all see that. [SPEAKER_00]: You think? [SPEAKER_01]: She says she's feeling a lot of self hatred. [SPEAKER_01]: So when he called her lazy, it's just all connected. [SPEAKER_01]: And she knows that she's taking it out on him. [SPEAKER_01]: So I'll take a break here and then we'll dive deeper into this self hatred that she speaks of.

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so she says that he asked her about a gym. [SPEAKER_01]: and ask her if she wants to have a friend that he's doing it, it keeps him accountable, they keep each other accountable, and she's like, I don't want a friend. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't need a buddy to go to the gym, but this is our tone.

[SPEAKER_01]: I can go by myself. [SPEAKER_01]: He's like, okay, I'm sorry that you're sensitive about this. [SPEAKER_01]: You know, there's something about that apology. [SPEAKER_01]: You could have just stopped at, okay, I'm sorry. [SPEAKER_01]: When you say I'm sorry that you're sensitive, there's something about that, but it doesn't ring right.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, it's much as I don't want to be team Jason, I'm team Jason here like it feels so much that any she's allowed to say any crazy thing to him she said all kinds of crazy things to him but if he says lazy she gets angry and so what it feels like is that when when he says the things that she feels about herself it sets him off which is a you thing, sis.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, no, but I mean, I'm sorry that you're sensitive. [SPEAKER_01]: She is, oh, she is good, in the grand scheme of trying to make the relationship better, that's a dig. [SPEAKER_01]: It's passive-aggressive. [SPEAKER_01]: like just let it be like no in the whole like weight loss thing that is a hurting even she said it she's like I'm taking it out on him like he is holding up a mirror to her because the truth is when he comes to the weightless thing you are being lazy and that's the thing about that I was talking about with um human beings because artists says he's trying his best to be sensitive you know to you and to be supportive but it's not landing.

[SPEAKER_01]: And how could he be helpful? [SPEAKER_01]: And she's like, well, he could be helpful by listening and caring. [SPEAKER_01]: And this is why I say like we're complicated because for one, we conflate what we aspire to be and who we actually are. [SPEAKER_01]: A lot of times the way we see ourselves is not how other human beings necessarily see us.

[SPEAKER_01]: Because I don't know her life outside of this, but when he comes to the weightless thing, the truth is, she is not doing all of the things. [SPEAKER_01]: So it's been lazy when it comes to things like if it were so easy, would all be at our peak physical existence that are I do wait at the drop of a hat, but you have to eat less work out what they say burn mark calories or whatever the whole thing is you have to be in a calorie deficit.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but it's so hard and that's why we're always like in the hamster will of that so I can also see how he can be annoying because also Jason doesn't know when to stop because when he's when they sat there and she was talking about the weight loss It does you don't have to be a rocket scientist who know that she's sensitive about the weight thing which is why I'm saying like why are you even saying that that she is sensitive [SPEAKER_01]: And then she's telling you like next year is gonna be my time.

[SPEAKER_01]: You don't need to repeat. [SPEAKER_01]: You have to be dedicated. [SPEAKER_01]: You have to be saying it. [SPEAKER_01]: Nah, bro. [SPEAKER_01]: You're my favorite. [SPEAKER_00]: You're my favorite. [SPEAKER_00]: She's every year. [SPEAKER_00]: She's a very different. [SPEAKER_00]: She's giving two different things.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like on the one hand, she's like, I know what I need to do. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm very, I'm a hard worker and I'm a hard worker and did it up. [SPEAKER_00]: And he's like, great. [SPEAKER_00]: I know you're a hard worker. [SPEAKER_00]: Well, he's not saying this because he's not as, he's not as articulate as she.

[SPEAKER_00]: So he's not gonna be able to stay it in a way. [SPEAKER_00]: that Marjorie is going to receive. [SPEAKER_00]: But I think he's saying, I know you're all these things. [SPEAKER_00]: I know that you're work hard and you're dedicated. [SPEAKER_00]: But... [SPEAKER_00]: Here's some things that have worked for me, maybe you should try them too, and she's like, if you, it's like, okay, my bad.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think the difference is I don't think that his tone also is necessarily the best, because the other thing I was gonna say is like, they're both so far gone that I think they're both like, she's sniping his passive aggressive. [SPEAKER_01]: They both don't trust each other's intentions.

[SPEAKER_01]: They both don't listen to each other. [SPEAKER_01]: It's just a hot mess that it's like, [SPEAKER_01]: you're not there yet to say what you want to say like yeah you should be you know all out with your partner you should be who you want to be but you're not there you're working on that she's not receiving it no matter what it is even when she I won't say that she said a couple episodes ago and he was like yeah I don't believe it [SPEAKER_00]: So when he was going to chat GPT for saying you're doing a good job, and apparently she was saying the same thing to him, and he was like, yeah, I don't, I don't what I didn't hear.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so that's what I'm saying. [SPEAKER_01]: That's where they are in their relationship, where they don't trust each other. [SPEAKER_01]: You can't say these things and think that is going to be received. [SPEAKER_01]: There's a whole, there's a huge difference. [SPEAKER_01]: when you trust the intentions of what someone is saying to you, whether it's a loved one, when it's a friend or a partner, but they just don't trust each other's intentions and right now she is filled with resentment where she's like sleeping next to the incredible shrinking man, and she just can't do it, and that's the whole other thing she needs to figure out.

[SPEAKER_01]: So honestly, we asked Marjorie like about her background and she's like, oh, man. [SPEAKER_01]: I had a good childhood. [SPEAKER_01]: I had good parents. [SPEAKER_01]: I had perfect childhood. [SPEAKER_01]: Remember that people. [SPEAKER_01]: She had love, support, and in the stable house her parents, oh my god, so I love.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, okay, something doesn't ring right here, like even the people. [UNKNOWN]: with the best. [SPEAKER_01]: It was not that perfect. [SPEAKER_01]: Then she just switches up and is like, well, as I got older, I noticed my mom was different. [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, ah, from perfect to different.

[SPEAKER_01]: And it was hard to talk to her like she's a loving and wonderful grandma, but I noticed that it's all about appearances and it is a difficult relationship. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, [SPEAKER_01]: Again, I wished on her head been like, how did you go from she was perfect? [SPEAKER_01]: You had good parents, you have childhood to all of a sudden discovering because it had to your mother did not make this drastic change.

[SPEAKER_01]: It had to have been there. [SPEAKER_01]: I think she should have just, I think what I'm getting at is, she's in the stage where she realizes that it's different, they have a difficult relationship. [SPEAKER_01]: So why when asked about her childhood, she still said it was perfect. [SPEAKER_01]: It was that she didn't say, I always thought it was, but looking back, it was not.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I wonder if that's how she talks about her relationship with Jason too, like if outwardly it's like [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I, you know, we're great. [SPEAKER_00]: This is my second marriage, but then you get behind the scenes. [SPEAKER_00]: You're like, oh, no, you guys are not communicating well with this.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: But you could tell that she's also being very careful about how she talks also like the guy last season, like listen, some of these people are still alive. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to speak bad on them, but it is part of my life and my stories. [SPEAKER_01]: So, I mean, I don't fault her for that.

[SPEAKER_01]: This is a can't be easy. [SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes because of the older generation, they just can't receive things. [SPEAKER_01]: You know, that we know almost here themselves. [SPEAKER_00]: Also, it's going to be on TV and you don't want to put me family's business on TV, like you chose to be there.

[SPEAKER_00]: Your mother and the rest of your family didn't choose to be there. [SPEAKER_00]: So there's some, I've got to be careful about that, too. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so she says that getting married forced the forced her to get married, you know, when she got pregnant and she's a black sheep of the family and owner was like, okay, how did you come to this like, is that like it kind of like a shaming and she's like, yes, exactly that like she's like the shaming and owner says, is that why you feel bad about yourself and she says, huh, I've never really talked about this out loud, but I think that's where the self looting comes from.

[SPEAKER_01]: Like, she said she was never really like even a big kid, but with the weight thing, her mom put her on weight watchers as a kid. [SPEAKER_01]: And Jason is a very animated guy. [SPEAKER_01]: He was like, oh, I didn't know that. [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't know that. [SPEAKER_01]: It's like that, you know, her mom had lost weight, weight watchers.

[SPEAKER_01]: And if you remember, we think that we had a bad, like, in the 2000s, but even before then, there were. [SPEAKER_01]: housewives just not eating drinking broth when we're back there now and you know just trying to say slim and trim and that was all the women back then were obsessed with which is how to say small and it's just I don't know the more things change some more things stay the same I swear to God [SPEAKER_00]: And that's fully what I remember as a kid, like my mom was always on weight watchers or she was going to jazzer size or there was always a thing that people were trying because that was like, and the Susan powder of it all, like everything was about.

[SPEAKER_00]: focused on that and being a kid because she was a single mom, like she just had to bring me with her because we're was I gonna see. [SPEAKER_00]: And so yeah, although I wasn't put on weight watchers, like it was very, really stupid to me. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: So I can see, I can't imagine being on weight watchers as a kid, but I can see if her mom was very like, we've got to keep up appearances.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not doing this to hurt you. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing this to help you because I don't want you to be where I am. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want you to see that you getting bigger as a kid, [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want you to be struggling with this as an adult. [SPEAKER_00]: So let me help you not to defend the mom, but I could see, again, you just have this conversation.

[SPEAKER_01]: You have that, you just have to say you should still know. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's perspective because, you know, the page doesn't come in a handbook. [SPEAKER_01]: Everyone's just doing the best that they can. [SPEAKER_01]: And then somehow there's still some gap, you know, that needs to be filled.

[SPEAKER_01]: So Orna says how old were you? [SPEAKER_01]: She was like, I was about 12, 13. [SPEAKER_01]: Jason says, oh, now I get why I was so oh my god. [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm not triggered. [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, Jason relax. [SPEAKER_01]: It's her time now. [SPEAKER_01]: He's so ready. [SPEAKER_01]: But no, he really kept just interrupting and he was like, I truly, truly apologize.

[SPEAKER_01]: I apologize. [SPEAKER_01]: I had no idea. [SPEAKER_01]: I feel so terrible. [SPEAKER_01]: I feel so terrible now. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, y'all never talked about this? [SPEAKER_00]: That surprises me like I can't imagine with all of this talk, well, I guess I can because they don't talk to each other, but I can't imagine with all of this frustration from her perspective in terms of being called lazy in terms of, you know, next year it's my turn to notice like she's fully in this weight thing that this didn't come up unless it just occurred to her in the middle of this conversation.

[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, even if the way things didn't come in, I just, I'm not even married as long as they have. [SPEAKER_01]: I've had a conversation with my husband about, you know, things that, you know, went on when he comes to aid or in the family and how people spoke about it and stuff like just like, [SPEAKER_01]: That's like you get to know your partner like you just oh and I don't trim your childhood like I just how do you miss something that significant like you know when we watch love is blind we say things like Um, what do they talk about in the pods and it's like okay they only have 10 days these people have years [SPEAKER_01]: We have a child together.

[SPEAKER_01]: What do you talk about? [SPEAKER_01]: You know, because I mean, thank God, I think she knew about his addiction. [SPEAKER_01]: She didn't seem surprised. [SPEAKER_01]: No, it was Christen C. C. C. C. Rauh when Siana, Siana, sorry. [SPEAKER_01]: It was Christen C. Rauh when something she said and she looked shocked and I'm like, uh, is this the first time she's hearing it?

[SPEAKER_00]: But I don't know. [SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, so, um, she says that she's also annoyed because when they met, he loved food. [SPEAKER_01]: It was part of the love language, and now he met her heart, got her fat, and now he's leaving her again. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, okay, that's heavy. [SPEAKER_01]: That's individual therapy.

[SPEAKER_01]: That's a situation like, now you're blaming him for that. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm afraid of him. [SPEAKER_01]: So, [SPEAKER_01]: I say walk out at therapy, he's like, man, I'm hungry. [SPEAKER_01]: I smell steak, I don't want steak. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know who he was on one. [SPEAKER_01]: And Marjorie, and I don't know if he was just, you know, hyping it up because she's like, oh no, I can't eat with you.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's protein right? [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I can't stay. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I was feeling him because he was like, oh, it's so easy for you and did it on. [SPEAKER_00]: He was like, no, I'm hungry all the time. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm hungry right now. [SPEAKER_00]: And so I think when he was trying to say to her, I was like, I'm doing this, but it's hard.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I think he was trying to relate to her because he's like, yeah, I know what you're going through is hard and this is hard for me. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm hungry right now and I think that's why you can't talk about food because they open that trap door and he was like, I'm, yeah, I'm, ah.

[SPEAKER_01]: I mean and that's it and it's unfortunate they didn't realize that if they did this together if food was ill of language just find the protein good foods like you know everywhere you go everyone's doing like a protein cup protein bowl and find new places and be creative with it and just you just tweak things a little bit you know Marjorie says like um and dude she's good [SPEAKER_01]: Is this child shit that's still there, but it's just smaller as you get it as you become an adult.

[SPEAKER_01]: So that was it for them. [SPEAKER_01]: I like I always like when we have the breakthrough. [SPEAKER_01]: So now we've had Chris talk about his childhood. [SPEAKER_01]: Now we have Marjorie talk about her childhood being kind and had Jason, but it wasn't it was kind of his childhood, but more about his addiction.

[SPEAKER_01]: So addiction. [SPEAKER_01]: We'll see how that goes. [SPEAKER_01]: All right, so yay, my favorite couple who they always keep for last. [SPEAKER_00]: Dre and Nessa, why are they in your favorite couple? [SPEAKER_00]: Help me, help me help you. [SPEAKER_01]: No, I said it earlier, my favorite couple to watch because I don't know what she's gonna say every week.

[SPEAKER_01]: So I am entertained by this. [SPEAKER_01]: Like it's real life for them, but I am entertained by them. [SPEAKER_01]: I just never know where it's gonna go. [SPEAKER_01]: I was not expecting internalized homophobia. [SPEAKER_01]: What happened this week? [SPEAKER_01]: I was not expecting and it's happened to the baby like me What is wrong with you?

[SPEAKER_01]: So they keep me on my they keep me on my toes. [SPEAKER_01]: So I I'm not gonna lie enjoy So it's not as dire as well. [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it is I don't know like what I want Shane Clinton. [SPEAKER_01]: I just I feel sad [SPEAKER_01]: because I don't know what the way out is. [SPEAKER_01]: You cannot fault someone for who they are.

[SPEAKER_01]: And it's almost like if she breaks up with him, can he survive that? [SPEAKER_00]: You know, but I, yeah, but that shouldn't be a reason to stay with somebody either, because that's not serving you. [SPEAKER_01]: No, I'm just explaining that that's why it's heavy for me when I watch them.

[SPEAKER_01]: There's too much stuff. [SPEAKER_01]: Like we drank this up. [SPEAKER_01]: Honestly, drama not know it now, but she'll be okay. [SPEAKER_01]: That should be the honest truth. [SPEAKER_01]: She'll be okay. [SPEAKER_01]: And she can flourish. [SPEAKER_01]: Like she's in a 40s. [SPEAKER_01]: Uh, Nessa said, she just hit her sexual and new way girl.

[SPEAKER_01]: Go find somebody. [SPEAKER_01]: So, anyway, it's, I digress back to Drain and Nessa. [SPEAKER_01]: Looks like they're going somewhere. [SPEAKER_01]: We are in their home. [SPEAKER_01]: We I think intentionally don't get to see their daughter and all I noticed is as they're packing there is a book called Anxiously Attached and I'm like, is it for Dre?

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, is it for Nessa? [SPEAKER_01]: It's a Nessa body for Dre. [SPEAKER_01]: She did. [SPEAKER_01]: She was like, here's something I thought you should read. [SPEAKER_01]: Sure. [SPEAKER_01]: But the camera caught it, so they come to therapy and Nessa is talking as usual while Dre is making faces as usual.

[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, how is your week? [SPEAKER_01]: What happened? [SPEAKER_01]: Nessa says, oh, we just got back from vacation. [SPEAKER_01]: We went to visit my mom in Florida, had a family reunion, things were well, things were great. [SPEAKER_01]: We got back and then I got, she put her hand, gestures up and down this.

[SPEAKER_00]: The walls were back up. [SPEAKER_01]: Um, woke up this morning. [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, doesn't want to talk. [SPEAKER_01]: And she turns her and just like feel free to feel in the blank. [SPEAKER_01]: So I was like, I know you. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, girl. [SPEAKER_00]: If I could punch a TV, I would punch it.

[SPEAKER_01]: Dre has said, okay. [SPEAKER_01]: Now you're ready for the real real, because honestly, I trust Dre as a narrator because every since nested told us the whole thing with the blessing of their child and just skipped all the things and Dre is like, ma'am, you see, a lot of things this man compared our marriage to pornography addiction, please.

[SPEAKER_01]: So Dre says from the start of the vacation, it was so pretend. [SPEAKER_01]: This woman has not worn her wedding rings in almost a and I quote fucking year and now we're going to see your mom now you're wearing your rings like, oh, that's supposed to make me feel good because what it does not make me feel it makes me feel not good like tell her, [SPEAKER_01]: I thought it would make her happy to wear it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, Nessa, see, no you didn't, no you didn't. [SPEAKER_01]: A jazz says, oh, this thing that is supposed to be a symbol of unity is only, uh, is only working around people so that we see normal. [SPEAKER_01]: And then as soon as we're back, it goes back to the ring trade to never be worn again.

[SPEAKER_01]: That is what we're making me happy. [SPEAKER_01]: So, Jaya says, I don't know how to explain to someone how on Monday she's loving W and on Tuesday, she's acting like I'm a guest who overstayed her welcome. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how to explain that to you. [SPEAKER_01]: Jaya says like, she wanted to go through therapy to try and structurally rebuild the things that we're lacking.

[SPEAKER_01]: But she thinks right now, they should pivot the conversations around the proper separation and what this is going to look like moving forward. [SPEAKER_01]: I am done talking about, not Nessa. [SPEAKER_01]: I am done talking about Ro Nessa's feelings and what she's going through. [SPEAKER_01]: What she wants to change, how she feels, I'm done.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't care. [SPEAKER_00]: Jen? [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, when she pulled out your government name, you're in trouble. [SPEAKER_01]: I was applauded like a motherfucker. [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, fine, not fucking me. [SPEAKER_00]: Sorry guys, all the cussing. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just so excited.

[SPEAKER_01]: I love it when you can't detain. [SPEAKER_01]: I was just like, thank you. [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you like you the she's been talking shit all every week you come in here You insult me and I know I said it like you know we said that in the beginning like she came to this show To break up with her this was her goal the whole time like listen at least I'm doing a gently She got tools she could figure it out not me and then I'll be free Hallelujah Because on the flip side though even though you know she said that I'm just like neccess like you [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, finally, it worked, she broke up with me.

[SPEAKER_01]: And then you know, so. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think, Dreia used a perfect word. [SPEAKER_00]: She said, Ness is putting on a performance. [SPEAKER_00]: And she was putting on a performance for their family. [SPEAKER_00]: And she's putting on a performance in therapy. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's exactly what it is.

[SPEAKER_00]: She's putting on a performance when she talks about being a driver and being this and being this, but having no substance behind it, she's a performer. [SPEAKER_00]: In the relationship, Dre, I was fine. [SPEAKER_00]: I'll let you perform. [SPEAKER_00]: I'll let you be the shiny thing as long as I get my family and I get my substance.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can perform, but now you're performing without me. [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not cool with it. [SPEAKER_00]: You're performing too, and I'm not cool with it. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and also using me as collateral damage because if Nessa was being honest and saying like listen, I don't want to deal with all the flag I already deal with, you know, the judgment that comes with homosexuality, I don't want to add divorce on top of that, say that you were to feel better because you want to deal with that, but don't say you thought it would make her happy, don't drag me into this, I didn't ask you to, so it's not noble, you're you performing outwardly isn't some kind of noble thing for Dreia, knock it off.

[SPEAKER_01]: So, Dres says, I don't know what our romantic relationship is because less than 24 hours ago, she asked me to look up our vitro balance on their health insurance so they could have another baby. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, what games is this woman playing? [SPEAKER_00]: I can't. [SPEAKER_00]: I screamed at that.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's when I screamed at the TV. [SPEAKER_01]: I said, what? [SPEAKER_01]: You see? [SPEAKER_01]: I told you, you don't know what's going to come out of Ness' mouth. [SPEAKER_01]: Week two week. [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, she told me to look up the balance, but in this morning, we couldn't even speak.

[SPEAKER_01]: Orna says, what? [SPEAKER_01]: What happened yesterday? [SPEAKER_01]: I just want to peek you to Orna's my- like, you know what? [SPEAKER_01]: Dre has says, okay, we came home and as soon as we walked in, she just changed. [SPEAKER_01]: It's just like, she was not happy to be home with me.

[SPEAKER_01]: And that's what doesn't disagree. [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, I agree. [SPEAKER_01]: And then Orna says, the baby part, and then that's really what I'm asking. [SPEAKER_01]: and she goes, yeah, I want her daughter to have a sibling and she wants another baby. [SPEAKER_01]: Makes sense to me, Arna says, okay, are you saying that you want a different structure?

[SPEAKER_01]: And she's like, yes, I see our romantic relationships separate from our ability to co-parent. [SPEAKER_01]: NASA says, but she sees it different. [SPEAKER_01]: Necesses says that no, that she, no, that because Dreia wants all of it, not like separate. [SPEAKER_01]: Orna asked, um, Dreia if she has any interest in discussing this kinship structure.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't think Dreia is listening. [SPEAKER_01]: She's not listening to her. [SPEAKER_01]: She's zoned out and upset, and she's just like, it is what it is. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm just supposed to move on with my life. [SPEAKER_01]: Orna is like, you, you don't? [SPEAKER_01]: have to do anything.

[SPEAKER_01]: She's still talking. [SPEAKER_01]: Like I just have to watch the person that I love, go on and do whatever they want to do, then honor is like meaning that you are preoccupied with the fact that there's a separation on the table and dress like I didn't say that you did. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm on your side, sis, but not with Warner.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't care. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't want to. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm in jail all the way. [SPEAKER_01]: Again, it's like, I'm hurting right here. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm angry. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sad of you asking me all this. [SPEAKER_01]: But I cannot process. [SPEAKER_01]: So. [SPEAKER_01]: She tells her like you are asking me a question and I am telling you that being in love with someone who doesn't want no one is on saying this because I can't see Dre is saying this She's like being in love with someone who doesn't want that kind of love and the pain of that is hard and Dre is crying at this point [SPEAKER_01]: Orna says, okay, let's talk about that.

[SPEAKER_01]: Jay is like, I don't want to. [SPEAKER_01]: So the pain is poppable. [SPEAKER_01]: The pain is so poppable, like you can just feel it. [SPEAKER_01]: And I feel so bad for Dreia. [SPEAKER_01]: So Orna tells Ness, oh, go ahead. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, no, I was gonna say, I think this is the moment where I felt so bad for Dreia because while she's crying, [SPEAKER_00]: I thought Nessa was reaching to get maybe a tissue or something for her.

[SPEAKER_00]: But no, not yet. [SPEAKER_00]: Nessa wanted a bottle of water. [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, no, no, she did not move. [SPEAKER_01]: So, Orna tells Nessa, but I noticed that Orna is also calling Nessa Ronessa. [SPEAKER_01]: She's not saying Nessa either. [SPEAKER_01]: And like, do you get to say Ronessa?

[SPEAKER_01]: So she says, she tells her, she talks her, and she tells her pointedly, like, that's a thing not to gloss over with a good story of what things could be. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, oh, yes, tell her. [SPEAKER_01]: And I was about to say, like, so far, Nessa has had the good sense to not say anything.

[SPEAKER_01]: But then she just says, so what's the next step? [SPEAKER_01]: Am I free yet? [SPEAKER_01]: She needs to understand. [SPEAKER_00]: She's like, she basically was saying, like, can I go and my dismiss? [SPEAKER_00]: Like, all right, why am I still here? [SPEAKER_00]: All right, he told you what I want.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to have a kid, but not with you. [SPEAKER_00]: And... [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, what's the problem? [SPEAKER_00]: What's the problem? [SPEAKER_01]: Show us how a kid was her, but not a romantic entitlement. [SPEAKER_00]: But it's just me off because isn't necessary supposed to be the one with the big plans.

[SPEAKER_00]: She's supposed to be a leader and a driver and a director. [SPEAKER_00]: What's the next step? [SPEAKER_00]: You tell us. [SPEAKER_01]: Well, remember they asked for last week and they asked her if you could do what you want. [SPEAKER_01]: What does it look like? [SPEAKER_01]: And she said, I don't know.

[SPEAKER_01]: She doesn't know. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: And I was telling you that I was surprised because again, if you're the planner, thinker, you want to be free. [SPEAKER_01]: You would think that you have this all organized. [SPEAKER_01]: So when she says what's the next step, Dr. Scoffs and Orna says, I don't know what's next if is I'm just finding out what y'all today.

[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, let's be here now. [SPEAKER_01]: She looks at Dreya. [SPEAKER_01]: That's uh, Nessa does not comfort her at all. [SPEAKER_01]: Instead, she sighs. [SPEAKER_01]: In fact, she leans back into the couch and says, this is uncomfortable. [SPEAKER_01]: This is so comical to me, it's not funny, but I can't believe it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I just want to punch Ness in the face. [SPEAKER_00]: Like how are you so cold in Tallah's? [SPEAKER_00]: Like I understand, clearly, you have no love left for this woman, but you aren't wanting things from her that are wildly inappropriate and wildly outside of her balance, but you want it because you want it because you want to perform being what outwardly and it's mean and you're really good.

[SPEAKER_01]: Jace says that she feels like she can't breathe. [SPEAKER_01]: She's crying. [SPEAKER_01]: She's bouncing her leg. [SPEAKER_01]: Nessa finally reaches to touch her leg. [SPEAKER_01]: And Juse, like, please don't touch me. [SPEAKER_01]: As she, like, now she's sobbed. [SPEAKER_01]: She's not, like, just here.

[SPEAKER_01]: She's sobbed and she's making a fist with her hand. [SPEAKER_01]: I gotta say, guys, it was uncomfortable for us, too, because we're watching the silence. [SPEAKER_01]: And they'd silent for a while. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, do I fast forward, like, [SPEAKER_00]: But the sound grew out of my TV.

[SPEAKER_00]: What happened? [SPEAKER_01]: But I do appreciate that Dr. Orna said I don't know what the next step is. [SPEAKER_01]: I appreciate a good I don't know you know I had a medical issue way back many years ago And I had a doctor just thought I'll tell me and she's just like I don't know what to do anymore Like I'm being honest like I will refer you to somebody else, but [SPEAKER_01]: this is we above my power and I appreciate it that like it's not it's not going to be like oh your doctor you should know this above above but I'd rather that than you using me as a guinea pig and you have no idea you know what you're doing so instead of doctor owner trying to say something smart she's just like I don't know like we'll figure it out

[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and this was a part where I heard you say, oh, you need footage of the drive back home. [SPEAKER_01]: I can't write out. [SPEAKER_01]: However, where they're going back home because this has to be uncomfortable, you know? [SPEAKER_00]: Or I want footage in the room when, you know, Nessa proposed to Drayal, let's have another kid.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be with you, but let's have another kid like, what would that conversation like? [SPEAKER_01]: Well, it wasn't a conversation. [SPEAKER_01]: She just told her, look up what our balance is. [SPEAKER_01]: Very business-like and very cold. [SPEAKER_01]: So Arna says, it's sad and tragic where they are.

[SPEAKER_01]: And she asked, Drea, does it feel like you're gonna do something to get away from the discomfort of it? [SPEAKER_01]: I kind of felt that was a wrong question to ask, because I don't know if Drea asking for a separate, for tools for a separation was impulsive or something that she thought about.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't, I didn't expect her to have an answer, but, you know, Miss Nessa, she had an answer and she's like, I drink and she says, I live in a world where I am uncomfortable with so many things I was using like, you know, being a black woman, being a queer woman and she should not have to deal with that discomfort at home and unfortunately, she deals with it by drinking, no way, she says, I deal with it by [SPEAKER_01]: in maladaptive ways, um, as what she is.

[SPEAKER_00]: So there we go. [SPEAKER_01]: So she starts tearing up that's Nessa, and look who's still hands her attissue, Drea, because Drea is not a monster. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, she's not. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think they're going to go. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm curious to see where this goes from now. [SPEAKER_01]: Like I hope she stands on business, but I I don't know.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_01]: So I want to ask her to describe her discomfort. [SPEAKER_01]: She says this is Nessa by the way. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't have a lot of friends. [SPEAKER_01]: The friends I grew up with somehow some way abandoned me and just to heads up that this is Nessus, you know, we counted the childhood.

[SPEAKER_01]: So Marjorie told us about her childhood and so has Chris and now I guess Nessa is telling us about her childhood. [SPEAKER_01]: And she said she had a best friend in high school and you know, she had a crush on a girl and she told her best friend and I was like, oh my god, I'm so excited.

[SPEAKER_01]: I have a crush on this girl told her and the girls like don't talk to me anymore. [SPEAKER_01]: She had another friend, his boys were spreading rumors, and she, the friend believed her, believed the rumors, and she just stopped talking to Nessa She says she takes friendship to heart even more than a marriage.

[SPEAKER_01]: I say Jesus Right? [SPEAKER_01]: Just throw this one in the heart and Even as what you feel do not say it out loud right now things are raw and tender [SPEAKER_00]: But also, you've already just told us what you're getting from your friends is what you want to get from Dreia. [SPEAKER_00]: So why would you leave that?

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, crazy person. [SPEAKER_01]: She says the friendship is there. [SPEAKER_01]: It's the romantic that she does want. [SPEAKER_01]: She says she's she holds friendship to marriage because she didn't know the value of a marriage growing up. [SPEAKER_01]: She says, [SPEAKER_01]: She just switched to the best friend.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, man, you are like, I, I, I, I, they're two people here and you're just changing all these things. [SPEAKER_01]: And she says she switched to the best friend because she still loves her. [SPEAKER_01]: And she was too do anything to support her. [SPEAKER_01]: But for Dreya, it's like my own.

[SPEAKER_01]: This way, or it's none at all. [SPEAKER_01]: And that feels like abandonment. [SPEAKER_01]: And it feels very alone. [SPEAKER_01]: And she doesn't know if there's anyone in her life that really understands her 100%. [SPEAKER_01]: Think what Nessar is missing is that Nessar is not saying this way or none, Nessar is in love, I mean, yeah, Dre is in love with you, Nessar.

[SPEAKER_01]: You can switch out to best friend because you don't love her anymore, and you don't think she's good enough for you So why do you expect someone who builds all their memories with you to switch off the love and suddenly? [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah, you're still gonna be my best friend after you shattered her hard to pieces She wants it all clearly.

[SPEAKER_00]: She wants it all on her own terms and That's unfortunately not how relationships work [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it's just really selfish. [SPEAKER_01]: You're not even giving her time to process. [SPEAKER_01]: You're just like, oh, we're best friends. [SPEAKER_01]: I switch, you switch, come on.

[SPEAKER_01]: Dre is says she can't help but feel like she wasted 20 years of her life and messages. [SPEAKER_01]: But then it's like, how is this a waste and Ernest says, say more Dre? [SPEAKER_01]: And that's the keep talking. [SPEAKER_01]: No, it's not. [SPEAKER_01]: It's not a waste. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, Ernest was like, hold on.

[SPEAKER_01]: You have great convincing powers. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not trying to convince her orness as you are. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, oh my god. [SPEAKER_01]: I love this so much. [SPEAKER_01]: It's so much. [SPEAKER_01]: Give me 14 of them. [SPEAKER_00]: The Wizard of the Year. [SPEAKER_01]: The Wizard of the Year.

[SPEAKER_01]: So Nestor's like shaking her head, like, I cannot believe this is happening. [SPEAKER_01]: Dress says like, she invested in this with her own view of what the future would look like in what she wanted. [SPEAKER_01]: And now what does she have? [SPEAKER_01]: a best friend who thinks she's not good enough to help elevate her in life.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm my own couch saying, my dad, who you also just mentioned that you abandoned her, doesn't understand her, and brought her on a TV show to break up with her. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, add that to your list, ma'am. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm here for you. [SPEAKER_01]: Just come here. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm keeping the checklists.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'll tell you all the things. [SPEAKER_01]: So Martin says she doesn't know where this process is going, but if they're truly, I think Ernest still doesn't believe it too. [SPEAKER_01]: Talking about separating, they should give you some time to understand this. [SPEAKER_01]: Orna says, like, you know, really intense feelings come up and Andrea is trying to speak to the pain, the anger, the betrayal that the separation entails.

[SPEAKER_01]: Nessa says, betrayal is the strong word. [SPEAKER_01]: Orna says, wait. [SPEAKER_01]: Every separation of the gods, every separation comes into betrayal. [SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't mean it has to be a villain. [SPEAKER_01]: And Nessa is like, clearly, I'm devilling in the story. [SPEAKER_01]: Orna says, well, you are initiating a separation.

[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't mean you're a villain, but you have a certain responsibility. [SPEAKER_01]: It's just, you know, tomato tomato. [SPEAKER_01]: And then that's a shakes her head and then we suddenly just get pictures of their relationship over the years. [SPEAKER_01]: But before we close out, I do wanna talk about this villain thing, Jen, because what do you do when you're not fulfilled in the relationship?

[SPEAKER_01]: Is Dre as suddenly the hero because she's still in love like, [SPEAKER_01]: Could, I'm Team Dre, I see this all the time. [SPEAKER_01]: But what could NASA have done? [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I, you know, what is the best way to handle this? [SPEAKER_00]: NASA could have been more sensitive to it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And again, we're not in their house. [SPEAKER_00]: We're not in their car on the train on the way home. [SPEAKER_00]: But it just feels like there's an insensitivity to it. [SPEAKER_00]: Like you have to, if you don't want to be the villain, then don't be the villain. [SPEAKER_00]: Like there's a way to say, hey, our relationship isn't serving us anymore.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's a way to say, I don't think I can move forward with you anymore. [SPEAKER_00]: I think we should end this and let's figure out a path that works for both of us. [SPEAKER_00]: There's a way to do this respectfully. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not gonna, it doesn't mean that Dre is not gonna be upset.

[SPEAKER_00]: Of course, she's gonna be upset. [SPEAKER_00]: There's just 20 years of her life, but there's a way to approach this in a way that doesn't tear Dre it down to shreds. [SPEAKER_00]: And everything that Nessa has done has torn Dre it down. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what makes you the villain.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're not the villain because you're breaking up with somebody. [SPEAKER_00]: You're the villain because you're doing it in a way that's completely inconsiderate every relationship. [SPEAKER_00]: completely and consider it of who Dre is as a person and completely and consider it of what your future could be if you were going to be actual friends.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's what makes you feel. [SPEAKER_01]: I agree. [SPEAKER_01]: Um, I think for me, again, we don't know. [SPEAKER_01]: It just felt like [SPEAKER_01]: Nessa dictated this whole relationship. [SPEAKER_01]: Did you express some things that you wanted to change and give Dreya a chance to work on it and see if she changed or did you decide that you can't do it, you're not capable, I don't want it, I need to leave.

[SPEAKER_01]: Those are two different things like, you, they didn't, I don't know what it's been like over the years, but they did not come into this experiment, or she did not come into this experiment with the idea of working things out, and which brings me to when they were filling out the form, applying to be on the show, what did they think?

[SPEAKER_01]: It was going to be like, how did NASA present this? [SPEAKER_01]: to her, you know? [SPEAKER_00]: I think, Nessa probably presented it, like every other performance, like, oh babe, this is gonna be our chance. [SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna be representing queer couples that have been together for a long time and we're gonna show that it's not easy, but that if we persevere, you can get to the other side.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like I can see her presenting it that way as a very performative, like this is a way to elevate both of us. [SPEAKER_00]: And at the same time, we get free therapy. [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, on the flip side, is it a case of Nestle was very clear and Drey was like, no, I love you. [SPEAKER_01]: We're not going anywhere.

[SPEAKER_01]: We're stuck together. [SPEAKER_01]: We're a family. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I think Drey went into this thinking there was going to be a solution. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think Drey went into this thinking this was closure. [SPEAKER_01]: No, not closure.

[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, not accepting what Nessa is saying. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, like she's saying like, because there's some people like that, like, no. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm so in love with you, there's no way you can feel that way about me. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm a good wife. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I take care of our child, like, do this.

[SPEAKER_01]: I do that. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, what, you can't, you can't be real. [SPEAKER_01]: You can't be serious. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I know you better than anyone, like, it's not fair to chance that that way. [SPEAKER_01]: But in the way it's unfortunate, I don't think too unhappy people should be together.

[SPEAKER_01]: And that's how you end up with this silly situation in some house. [SPEAKER_01]: So many of you, some of my house references, but I know Dre is in the pits right now, but I say it again, she's going to be okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I think once she realizes that [SPEAKER_00]: Nessa is not the only person in the world that could and will love her.

[SPEAKER_00]: She'll be fine. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because the other thing about human means is like we go to his worst case scenario before a best case scenario. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: So you might as I go on the one else is going to love me. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm older. [SPEAKER_01]: I have a kid.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm blah, blah, blah. [SPEAKER_01]: And you're just like, oh my god, it could be good. [SPEAKER_01]: It could be better because you've set your ceiling or your bar so low. [SPEAKER_01]: And you don't even create room for something great. [SPEAKER_00]: But also you've been a partner that's told you that all the things that you thought were assets.

[SPEAKER_00]: our liabilities, like I could see why that would give you pause for moving forward. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, agreed, but yeah, I mean, I'm still wanting to see where this goes. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if they're fully gonna separate, but I see they do. [SPEAKER_00]: For Dreas take, I hope they do.

[SPEAKER_01]: Well, that was the episode this week. [SPEAKER_01]: We'll be back with a new episode next week before we go. [SPEAKER_01]: Jen, can you tell people where they can find you? [SPEAKER_00]: You can find me and my husband adventuring through Southeast Asia right now. [SPEAKER_00]: We're in Indonesia so you can follow our adventures on Instagram and YouTube at jns.atventures.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, guys, and now reminder that everything has changed. [SPEAKER_01]: It is now at Tain Talks on all the social media that's CAY and ETALKS, give me a five star rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. [SPEAKER_01]: Really helps the podcast to be found. [SPEAKER_01]: And stay subscribed so you don't miss out on any new episodes.

[SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, I'm having you to channel. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't really use it. [SPEAKER_01]: It's just audio, but you can check it out too. [SPEAKER_01]: And that's just YouTube.com slash Tain Talks.

Couples Therapy: S5 Ep. 4 w/Jenn

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