MAFS S20 Ep. 9: Performative or Nah? w/Dani

[SPEAKER_00]: Hello, everybody. [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to another episode of Tain Talks. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm your host, Tain. [SPEAKER_00]: Here with the final episode of The Last Drop of Married At First Site, Season 20 Episode 9. [SPEAKER_00]: Today, my guest is a friend of the pod. [SPEAKER_00]: She loves maps.

[SPEAKER_00]: She always takes her notes diligently and always is up for a discussion about maps. [SPEAKER_00]: And my guest today is Danny. [SPEAKER_00]: Hi, Danny. [SPEAKER_00]: How are you? [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I'm so excited to be here. [SPEAKER_00]: Are you ready to talk about this session? [SPEAKER_00]: This group therapy that we've kind of had it on maps before, but this is like the official new format news season group therapy.

[SPEAKER_00]: How did you feel about it? [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I don't know, because... [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I know the group stuff always is kind of the demise of the relationships, but I kind of enjoy it to an extent. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, um, my frustration with this episode or this even batch in general was that I felt like we got a lot of them telling us what happened rather than showing us the routine scene for ourselves.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm. [SPEAKER_00]: That's a good point. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think this is part of the process for us that have been watching maps, especially from the lifetime coming over here is we just have to shed ourselves of the notions of what was before. [SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of this is since its condensed is going to be a lot of telling and filling in the gaps, then I'm showing us, you know, this is the things that happened.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I feel like it felt like something that we shouldn't be a part of, which is so weird from someone who covers couples therapy, but for some reason, it just felt so intimate and private and we'll get there. [SPEAKER_00]: I think especially when he came to Bell Julien Mechas and you know, Marissa's when they sat talking about all this private things, I'm like, if you're telling the experts, [SPEAKER_00]: And everyone's involved.

[SPEAKER_00]: I felt a little like, should I be listening to this, you know? [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and they have like stuff like insinuating sexual trauma and things. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that felt very vulnerable to be in a group period, low-low non-TV. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so, and that's the, I think that's the argument is like, yeah, after telling the experts, it's going to be on TV anyways, but I'm like, you know, they say they forget the cameras so we'll see, but before we get into and start the episode, just a reminder to you guys patreon.com slash taint talks.

[SPEAKER_00]: you can get at free episodes, you can get video episodes and you can get the episodes earlier before they drop on there and I'm still running as special for the entirety of MAPS streaming 50% off your first month and you can get it as a gift for a friend, you can just support the pod and you can just be a free member.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're a free member, we're over there and we are chatting in the chats about MAPS and just putting all our gripes out there, you know, before we listen to the [SPEAKER_00]: All right, we start the episode with Bolshellie and Mecca and he's taking her to his work place and I got to say that's bonding all right, like Those Oh my god, it's been Seriously, he's a sanitation worker and he's not joking.

[SPEAKER_00]: He's actually like draining the pot of potties and I don't think I could watch like I couldn't I just had to turn away I didn't want that to take notes after a bit Yeah [SPEAKER_00]: He makes a joke to her to add that, add sanitation worker as role-playing ideas in the bedroom. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, hmm, okay, because if you, just to refresh everyone, the last that we saw was him kind of seducing her lighting candles saying he's taking off his robe.

[SPEAKER_00]: And because it's virtually a mecca, I don't want to assume that, you know, they actually had sex. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, you could go either way. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know which it is, but when he's saying, making jokes about the role playing, I'm like, okay, it seems like they had sex.

[SPEAKER_00]: At this point before they confirmed it, did you think they had sex or not? [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I actually didn't think about it that hard. [SPEAKER_01]: Um, [SPEAKER_01]: I just don't know what to make of Mecca. [SPEAKER_01]: Like I can't tell if he's protecting himself or if he's genuinely not that into her that way.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I guess I had to really think he had, but maybe. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think after he said the role playing, I was like, okay, thank God, I think you know, they have finally had sex. [SPEAKER_00]: And I just want to add as a side note that I just think, Bosia Lee such a pretty girl like she just, you know, she's having to make up on she's had her hair back just throwing back and you're just going on a ride and her dimples her everything has smile like I just think she's so pretty.

[SPEAKER_01]: You know, yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: They were my favorite couple originally. [SPEAKER_01]: I think I got a little nervous after the little disconnect they had about their levels of attraction. [SPEAKER_01]: But I mean, even even the porta potty thing, I think that just shows real work ethic. [SPEAKER_01]: You know, he's not just like, oh, I just want to be Instagram star and make easy money.

[SPEAKER_01]: He's willing to have a job. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: That's true. [SPEAKER_00]: Um, on one hand, I wanted to say like, you know, he still feels embarrassed about his job because he kept seeing it's not a glamorous job like, you know, it's not really the best thing, but he does say it is a family business like he's grateful to be giving employment and she does reassure him, which is what she does and says that.

[SPEAKER_00]: she doesn't care about that, and he has depth, and this just adds on to who he is. [SPEAKER_00]: And now, you know, at first glance, this is a good trait. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, you know, he has someone that supports him, but I don't want their relationship to just be a lot of her reassuring him, because we know he needs a lot of reassurance.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I just, it's unclear to me what this is at this point, whether it's support [SPEAKER_00]: a four warning of what it's going to be in the future where it's going to be a lot of reassuring him because he feels a little low or down on himself. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, and that's kind of what I was saying about how I can't quite make up their sexual chemistry like as he just insecure or as he not attracted to her and you're right.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm worried like they seem to have a good relationship, [SPEAKER_00]: that yeah, that she's a good woman, so you should like her and stuff. [SPEAKER_00]: Um, I noticed that they adapt each other. [SPEAKER_00]: They gave each other a fist bump. [SPEAKER_00]: You guys know, I don't like that, but I'll just let it slide for now.

[SPEAKER_00]: But when you're tapping each other, I'm just like, it's not giving romantic. [SPEAKER_00]: It's giving friendships. [SPEAKER_00]: So stop it, guys. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want it. [SPEAKER_00]: Which is better for head kiss or fist bump. [SPEAKER_00]: forehead kiss. [SPEAKER_00]: I am not with passion.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not because she's on my bat side, but I'm not with passion for her kisses because I know she says she gives it to her son, but there are some forehead kisses that can be intimate. [SPEAKER_00]: They only get from like your romantic partner. [SPEAKER_00]: But tapping, nothing about that is the fist bump.

[SPEAKER_00]: And nothing about that is it shows partnership yeah, but for people that just mad and you're trying to build that, you know, chemistry and all that [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't know how the camera man got in there, but you know, there's no way I could have been built early, but they were in there.

[SPEAKER_00]: They were all up in that toilet. [SPEAKER_00]: He was not wearing a mask. [SPEAKER_00]: I just don't understand the whole thing, but he got it done, but for me, the scene was a little too long for me, but the whole time he had these power beats headphones in. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I mean, shout out to him.

[SPEAKER_00]: Everyone usually wears the air pods. [SPEAKER_00]: I can't. [SPEAKER_00]: They don't stay on my ears. [SPEAKER_00]: I use power beats because I need to look like a little dork, but the fact that he had both in the entire time when he's talking to Bell Julie, I'm like, what are you doing, Mecca?

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, how has he not dropped him in the toilet? [SPEAKER_00]: Well, that would be it. [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe that's why he got the ones with a hook. [SPEAKER_00]: So they don't fall out and they just hook the behind his ears. [SPEAKER_00]: In confessionals, he does confirm that they did have sex.

[SPEAKER_00]: And he hopes that that moves them forward. [SPEAKER_00]: But as I'm watching him, you know, you guys know, I always get sidetracked. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm looking at him in the confessional. [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm like, how long after there's scenes were filmed, the day filmed the confessional's because he still has the black nail polish on his hands.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, it's not a refresh. [SPEAKER_00]: It's old nail polish. [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm convinced that it's the same one that he had during their scenes. [SPEAKER_00]: And also his braids are due for a refresh. [SPEAKER_00]: Like they look so rough. [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, go get it done.

[SPEAKER_00]: Again, so I don't know how long after it is, maybe afterwards I'll find out, but those are the thoughts I had. [SPEAKER_00]: So it's watching this conversation. [SPEAKER_00]: Good observation. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: So the producer asks, like, does he have serious feelings for her now?

[SPEAKER_00]: And his like, what does that mean? [SPEAKER_00]: Like, you know, serious feeling sounds like you're close to falling in love. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's kind of scary. [SPEAKER_00]: So he's not going to say that. [SPEAKER_00]: He's just going to say that he has really strong feelings. [SPEAKER_00]: So they go visit his grandma and I thought it was a house, but it's not, it's just the office because first of all, her name is Victoria, thank God, like it's not another because you know, they have a history of I think Belcher Lee's mom is violent.

[SPEAKER_00]: and then his dad is logic. [SPEAKER_00]: So her is just a simple Victoria name. [SPEAKER_00]: So I was a learn that they go to this sweet old lady's house. [SPEAKER_00]: Just after cleaning poop, no showers, no nothing, just going in there, hugging her, but I guess it was just the office.

[SPEAKER_00]: So still though, I just their poop particles in your body. [SPEAKER_00]: Like go home and shower first before visiting anyone, but again. [SPEAKER_00]: I should never, so he has ground my assbell Julie, like you know, the hopes is that, you know, Mecca would take over the business, which he'd be willing to be part of the business if he does.

[SPEAKER_00]: And she says that she is, she has front desk experience and they won't be so strange for her. [SPEAKER_00]: She also shares that they're the only black owned sanitation business in the Pacific Northwest and is very lucrative and like a chain but also a shout out to them for that. [SPEAKER_00]: So they would love to pass it down to one of their kids and she's just happy that they're doing well together as a couple.

[SPEAKER_00]: Did you think anything of this scene with his grandma? [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think particular, like I'm just kind of what I was saying up top about, I think it's the idea that he has a business like that. [SPEAKER_01]: It's good to have that foundation. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I think I would feel more secure as long as I don't have to be up in the poop.

[SPEAKER_00]: on there. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, we get a little bit of Marissa and Adam as well. [SPEAKER_00]: This man, this attention-seeking man, is wearing a thrifted shirt. [SPEAKER_00]: In his own home, by the way, that still has to tag on it. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I zoomed on it to see if I could scan whatever the code was on there.

[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't, but it has the goodwill. [SPEAKER_00]: It clearly said goodwill on there and I'm like, why? [SPEAKER_00]: Why are you doing this? [SPEAKER_00]: Like, what is the purpose of [SPEAKER_00]: all this attention seeking with your wife in your home. [SPEAKER_00]: And Merissa says that she loves that he is himself and she needs to take a page out of his book.

[SPEAKER_00]: And she asks if he thinks that group therapy will benefit anybody. [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, that's an interesting question to ask. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, why do you not think you guys don't stand to benefit it? [SPEAKER_00]: Like, why don't you ask, do you think we will benefit from it?

[SPEAKER_00]: Why the group? [SPEAKER_00]: Why anybody else? [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't get that. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I just feel like they're very resistant to going deep and I think she doesn't want to rock the boat and he's just fine. [SPEAKER_00]: He just just want to go deep because I don't I can't tell where he is.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like I said, um, an earlier episodes, I'm back and forth with them. [SPEAKER_00]: Like maybe that is just their vibe, not to steal his words and eventually they'll go deep or maybe he's like, eh, this is temporary. [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't need to go deep and she's playing along because she can get what she needs out of him right now.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it doesn't have to be that serious, but who knows, we'll find out with time. [SPEAKER_00]: He says he's never done group therapy, so he's curious, but he has done years of individual therapy, and she asks if he's going to take group therapy seriously, and he says, of course, I have taken everything extremely seriously, this entire process.

[SPEAKER_00]: He says, as he wears a thrifted shirt with the tag on it. [SPEAKER_00]: So the man says like he's going to be open and honest and he's actually going to have counter questions for Paul. [SPEAKER_00]: If you notice he did not say I'm going to have questions for pass. [SPEAKER_00]: He said Paul specifically.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't take it that way. [SPEAKER_00]: But he says he's going to go full send and like why is this girl man talking and saying I just it's so hard to take him seriously. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean, I got both with him and Nick. [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like they know what to say. [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't know what to believe.

[SPEAKER_01]: You think Adam knows what to say? [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like he just said when it really is in his head. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I think he's very conscious of being on the show and wanting to look good, but I don't know if it's coming across well. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, that's interesting.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I never thought about it. [SPEAKER_00]: I still don't really know what to make of Adam. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, that's why I'm like, I'm one hand. [SPEAKER_00]: Is this just him? [SPEAKER_00]: And because we're not, you do someone like him or just like, you can't be serious, dude. [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm like, a guy who's in love with jet skis, who has a disco ball and just talks about the water and he's like, you know, he lives on the water and just wants to play pickle ball all the time.

[SPEAKER_00]: Where's Swim Sox? [SPEAKER_00]: Alright, I'm going to take a quick break and I will be right back. [SPEAKER_00]: All right, we are back. [SPEAKER_00]: And here is the group session. [SPEAKER_00]: So for you guys, the Australian version, like lately, like when they're doing their first, I kind of tell you guys what similarities or differences it has with the merit at first sight Australian version.

[SPEAKER_00]: So on this version, in the Australia, this is when they have the commitment ceremony. [SPEAKER_00]: And this is when they choose to decide if they wanna stay or if they wanna leave. [SPEAKER_00]: But it looks like for this version, it's just a group session. [SPEAKER_00]: They do do the group session.

[SPEAKER_00]: They have their session. [SPEAKER_00]: They talk about all the things that happen and then at the end they say they want to stay or if they want to eat but it looks like I was wondering if they were going to do that since so many couples but it looks like that part is not being brought over and the closest is just them asking if this was decision day would you say yes or would you say no so.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think I'm okay with that. [SPEAKER_00]: So would you prefer if they gave them the choice if they wanted to continue to experiment or not? [SPEAKER_00]: Like if they were given the choice, like they could quit right now if they wanted to? [UNKNOWN]: Oh. [SPEAKER_01]: I kind of like them just saying where they're at now because the discussions that follow and I'm talking about each other in comparing, which again, is not good for the relationship, but it's kind of fun to see them squirm.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't really want anybody to actually quit at this point. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think so too. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think like they run the risk of people just saying like yeah, I don't want to do this. [SPEAKER_00]: And then I also think it's like infectious you see one person leave and you're like oh my god, I could be free from all this anxiety and then it becomes a trickle down effect and then everyone decides they want to leave and then we don't have a show.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I understand them keeping it this way. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, um, believe it or not, guys, Adam shows up in that shirt, still with the tag on with the shirt on buttoned, the drawstrings on his pants were on tied and he just came in looking like. [SPEAKER_00]: He didn't know that this was going to be a group session.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, what are we doing here at the very least take off the tag? [SPEAKER_00]: When he gets in, he's like, oh, I'm going to button up. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to take this serious because Paul and Pass given this look like, I know you're fucking lying. [SPEAKER_00]: I know you did not come in here with your shirt on buttoned.

[SPEAKER_00]: And all that. [SPEAKER_01]: Did you have any thoughts on that? [SPEAKER_01]: I just love how Paul just calls people out. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, he does that Peter on Bush at all. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, he takes control of the scenarios most of the time. [SPEAKER_00]: So when he just commands respect, like even if he didn't say anything, I think Adam would have known like he had to take off his shirt, button up his shirt.

[SPEAKER_00]: like what are you doing? [SPEAKER_00]: Courtney comes in with Nick and makes a big deal of holding hands and she's like she's trying so hard to not feel this marriage and not self sabotage. [SPEAKER_00]: Caitlin says that she's nervous and Paul welcomes them and introduces them and says that this is a truth telling session and this is where the hard work starts.

[SPEAKER_00]: He says he's looking across the room and he sees couples in avoidance, denial, and fear. [SPEAKER_00]: that they may not have talked about, which is the quickest way to destroy their relationships. [SPEAKER_00]: Passenvites everyone want to be open and honest and they should basically be courageous.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then they decide to start with Marissa and Adam and I can't imagine how scared they are to go first. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, there's an advantage of going first or going last because if you're first, you get it over and done with. [SPEAKER_00]: But then, if you're not, you just have to keep waiting till it's your turn and you just sitting there and anxiety.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you were there in the group therapy, would you prefer to go first and get it over and done with or kind of wait a little bit? [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, no. [SPEAKER_01]: I'd want to see the other couples. [SPEAKER_01]: I'd want to know what I'm in for and, you know, have a little bit of reference point for that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I can see that. [SPEAKER_00]: I can see that. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just feeding the middle of the pack. [SPEAKER_00]: I kind of like, okay, I kind of know what to do and just get that over and done with. [SPEAKER_00]: So Paul says he wants to start with the outfit and how it was on button when he came in and Adam says, oh, man, it was really hard.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was climbing the walls out there and Paul just stops him and says, yeah, that's the stuff we're not going to do tonight. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think everyone was rocked like, oh, this is serious because Nicky is all clock it, Felipe is all, ooh, Devon is trying to see Adam's facial expression.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I think they all got the message that this is serious. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, this is not, no, Dr. Pepper. [SPEAKER_00]: This is not old school anymore. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, we are being called to task in this group session. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, he's not running the show so Paul says that he sees a guy who came into the show serious.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what Paul saw. [SPEAKER_00]: He didn't come in serious. [SPEAKER_00]: You made him have a phone call to break up with someone. [SPEAKER_00]: So what seriousness are we talking about? [SPEAKER_00]: But he said as they went along, he's become more of a deflector. [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like Paul, they're in plain tonight.

[SPEAKER_00]: He says he wants him to tell him where he's wrong, that's Adam. [SPEAKER_00]: And he tells him that he comes in like the humor and his attire and that someone that's deflecting from vulnerability. [SPEAKER_00]: Adam says like, I don't think I'm deflecting like, honestly, this is who I am.

[SPEAKER_00]: At first, that person, that wasn't me. [SPEAKER_00]: This is who I am now. [SPEAKER_00]: Paul says, well, you have four weeks to decide, and you need to be deep in conversation. [SPEAKER_00]: And he asked both of them when was the last time you had a deep conversation. [SPEAKER_00]: And Mercer's like, we don't really get super deep and they ask have you told him about your dad and she's like, not really.

[SPEAKER_00]: And Paul says, okay, here's what I see. [SPEAKER_00]: You have a strong physical, lightweight, emotional connection. [SPEAKER_00]: So that means like, you don't have a strong connection yet. [SPEAKER_00]: And paths is like, [SPEAKER_00]: This is a good opportunity for you guys to tell each other something that you don't know about the other and you have to be real and void of humor and Marissa shares about her dad and talks about how he was in a good dad that her parents were married for a long time, but they did it for the kids and he struggled with mental health issues and now they don't have a good relationship.

[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like on demand, confession or on demand sharing, where it's like, tell them something now in front of everyone. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, is it necessary because otherwise they wouldn't? [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like it's just a requirement for these shows in general. [SPEAKER_01]: You have to have a sob story.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know when they're going to make you pull that card out, but you have to have something you're willing to share. [SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes they're ridiculous. [SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes they're the real thing that. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't know how I feel about it.

[SPEAKER_01]: I get that we need that, but they can also trivialize things a little bit. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I can't quite place my hand on, place a finger, I send my whole hand. [SPEAKER_00]: Place a finger on what it is that is kind of off about it, because you're right. [SPEAKER_00]: As long as you're on these shows, you're gonna, you've already told producers what they are.

[SPEAKER_00]: We already know what they are. [SPEAKER_00]: They told us during their matchmaking process. [SPEAKER_00]: It's just knowing when the producers, or whoever, [SPEAKER_00]: want you to say it, but I think when we're doing group therapy and it's like am I ready to share this with this person?

[SPEAKER_00]: Because at the end of the day, yes, it's going to bring them closer, but it is my story. [SPEAKER_00]: It is my thing that causes me pain. [SPEAKER_00]: Telling someone, go ahead. [SPEAKER_00]: say something I know they're giving them a choice like go ahead say something now it's just feels like pressure, you know, like a lot and I don't know that's why it feels a little off there, but again without that again, we don't have a show so.

[SPEAKER_00]: Um, Adam says that his is he was cheated on on two of his relationships and he decided to stay in it and it fucked him up, but there it be helped. [SPEAKER_00]: And there's still talking about Marissa how she feels about talking about it. [SPEAKER_00]: She was like, yeah, she feels, you know, a little weird, but she feels a little lighter than she's got that, you know, she said it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then Adam makes her joke about to Paul and it's like, you got to make my girl cry bro and Paul says you see what you did right there. [SPEAKER_00]: She was emotional and you went for a joke. [SPEAKER_00]: And he's like, I mean, I was just trying to support her. [SPEAKER_00]: And Paul is like, I understand your intent, but you could also say, I'm with you.

[SPEAKER_00]: And his homework is like he needs to build the healthy habits. [SPEAKER_00]: And again, this is again, where I'm torn where it's like, I get it that he shouldn't make a joke, but it's what he's always done right and is not necessarily like a bad thing. [SPEAKER_00]: So where is the line between building the healthy habits and changing completely who you are, if it all this is who Adam is.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I don't think he's comfortable going deep. [SPEAKER_01]: I think that, you know, that's his quick cover up escape. [SPEAKER_01]: And like you're saying, his group therapy really the place to make him sit in it. [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I guess they're all doing uncomfortable things. [SPEAKER_00]: Lisa, the therapist pass is just looking at Paul with admiration.

[SPEAKER_00]: At this point, I know the rest of the cast were terrified for their turn. [SPEAKER_00]: At least Caitlyn, she looked very terrified. [SPEAKER_00]: I think what are they going to say to me, are they confessional? [SPEAKER_00]: Because they're doing this a little confessional with different couples afterwards.

[SPEAKER_00]: They ask Cameron and Michelle, like, do they think Adam opened up at the therapy session? [SPEAKER_00]: And Cameron was like, yeah, I think he opened [SPEAKER_00]: So, there's that. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so speaking of, we move on to Cameron and Michelle. [SPEAKER_00]: They say things are good.

[SPEAKER_00]: Merissa says like she loves them together and wishes, this is a little confessional, not in the group therapy because God forbid Merissa speaks up about anything. [SPEAKER_00]: But she says she loves them together and wishes Adam had the maturity and awareness that Cam has. [SPEAKER_00]: So she does recognize that something is missing and this is to me confirmation that she wants more and she's not asking for more.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that was super interesting because like you said, I think Adam's not become the villain because she's been willing to go along with it and she hasn't been you know the typical bride we get that's like begging the husband to do more. [SPEAKER_01]: So the first time she's really told us that she wants more.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I need her to speed it up and ask for something because I do want to see how Adam is going to act. [SPEAKER_00]: when she brings up something that is not in his favor. [SPEAKER_00]: Because even talking about moving into the house, he pretty much told her you're moving in here and then we're gonna buy a house.

[SPEAKER_00]: He didn't ask her after she said like she doesn't think she can live here. [SPEAKER_00]: She's a city person. [SPEAKER_00]: He basically told her what she's gonna do. [SPEAKER_00]: So how is he gonna react when she stands up to him for something that he's not on board with. [SPEAKER_00]: I wanna see that.

[SPEAKER_01]: And let us not forget before wedding days when they said, what if she's not into the training and he said, oh, I can train anyone, not what if she doesn't want to do it at all? [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_00]: Opposition. [SPEAKER_00]: He needs opposition. [SPEAKER_00]: um she brings up the finance conversation that they had that's Cameron and Michelle where you know they talked it through and she makes money then him and he says like you know he's thought about it like it's just a typical society expectations that he is proud that she makes you know that much.

[SPEAKER_00]: Michelle on the other hand says that she was equating money with success, but he works hard, and she has been brought back down to earth. [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm curious you thought's in this because I understand this, it works for them, but is this a case of her putting on the back burner?

[SPEAKER_00]: what her thoughts, like is it such a bad thing that she wanted her husband to make a certain amount of money because of how much she makes? [SPEAKER_00]: Like she's saying it like, oh, he shown her a different side. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, that's not important to me anymore. [SPEAKER_00]: I need to throw that away.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, try some words saying, I've been brought back down to earth. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, why are they making it seem like that was such a terrible thing that she wanted on her list if that makes any sense? [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I wonder how much it really matters to her, because has she seen past shows where a woman with higher standards is kind of villainize for wanting, that's been to meet them, you know, and she's not gonna, so she's gonna blow it off on the show, but will it actually matter long-term or in-relyph?

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's exactly what it is. [SPEAKER_00]: It's like you're making her feel like, no, you're silly for that being a requirement for you, like you're down to earth, you've learned it away. [SPEAKER_00]: And no one's saying like, it's not taking away from him that he works hard. [SPEAKER_00]: Like yes, he does work hard, but it was something that was important to you.

[SPEAKER_00]: So all of a sudden, is it not or is it a case of, she likes what she sees off Cameron and she's willing to overlook it? [SPEAKER_00]: I think if it was phrase that way, like, you know, it's still important to me. [SPEAKER_00]: But he brings other things to the table that I appreciate. [SPEAKER_00]: So it works, there's a pros and cons to this, but for her to just say, oh, my thoughts was silly.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I brought back down to Earth. [SPEAKER_00]: That was a part that was like, that's not necessarily bad. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I also need to kind of look at what their life will look like, because it's more than just I make more than you. [SPEAKER_01]: It's also, this is [SPEAKER_01]: My standard of life, like she can't have him, you know, I've always seen in other couples in the past where she's spending money that she has on things and he's making her feel like she's wasting it and thinking about things that are normal to her that might be extravagant to somebody who doesn't make that much.

[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Good point. [SPEAKER_00]: Um, they say that the hard conversation brought them closer and Paul says what happens when you have these hard conversations the harder it is the closer you get and then they'll like one more thing she would tell them she would tell them and he's like, we had sex.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, okay. [SPEAKER_01]: Thanks for sharing. [SPEAKER_00]: But that was it for Cameron and Michelle and he last thoughts for them. [SPEAKER_00]: No, that was. [SPEAKER_01]: about covers it with them. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah, I guess just that, you know, I know that they were, you know, clearly there are star couple and a lot of people think they're boring.

[SPEAKER_01]: Myself included, but I do think we we need that recovery. [SPEAKER_01]: We can't have everybody being a disaster or it just gets frustrating. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, I had Camille two episodes ago and she was like coming from someone who was the boring couple. [SPEAKER_00]: I like female and like yeah, I don't know why I feel it's just going to be like a surprise coming like for now they are to start a couple and Cameron like I think I noticed that can't even Cameron is surprised at how much he likes me shall so I think he does like her they do have a lot of things to figure out though because his job seems like [SPEAKER_00]: It could be a surprise, like a roller coaster.

[SPEAKER_00]: But he seems like he's willing. [SPEAKER_00]: He's like, he doesn't have to be Portland. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what they're doing, but I just feel like, I mean, more episodes that we have, like, something is going to come up. [SPEAKER_00]: That's going to be like a thing. [SPEAKER_00]: And you're like, well, you guys were doing so well.

[SPEAKER_00]: Where did this come from? [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm hopefully going to eat my words. [SPEAKER_00]: No, but hopefully, I do hope they make you through. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, for the most part, that's what I hope, you know, for most of the couples, is like, they make you through. [SPEAKER_00]: I just, [SPEAKER_00]: feel like when you go through something like this, where you're exposing yourself to the world, where you've gone through so much to go through the application process and all of that things, the least you can get out of is your actual true love that you really wanted.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if it does come out that way, it's just such a nice story to tell. [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm hoping I'm wrong, let's put it that way. [SPEAKER_01]: I think you're probably right that something's going to happen, but hopefully I'm right that they'll still work out after all. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: All right, take a quick break and I'll be right back. [SPEAKER_00]: All right, we are back with Courtney and Nick. [SPEAKER_00]: Before I get into them, I want to do a little social media updates for you guys with Courtney. [SPEAKER_00]: I went to her page and I just clicked on it. [SPEAKER_00]: She has pinned her whole Instagram page guys, reads like an influencer.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like it just has, she's not addressing any of the criticism. [SPEAKER_00]: Like there are people all up in her comment saying, all the things that she is not, she is Ray Charles so all of that. [SPEAKER_00]: She's not seeing anything of that. [SPEAKER_00]: But she has fits. [SPEAKER_00]: She's a, uh, that are linked, you can find it in her bio.

[SPEAKER_00]: She's a 10 day and more than willing concerts. [SPEAKER_00]: She has like this thing where it's like the five things to spend money on her five, just for fun. [SPEAKER_00]: Guys is real gold jewelry, smartwatch, hierarchs, races, TSA precheck and a digital camera. [SPEAKER_00]: Those are her five things.

[SPEAKER_00]: She does say the thing that I found really interesting is that she says she splits her time [SPEAKER_00]: And for a quick second, I'm like, did she and Nick work out? [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, sounds like we have similar goals. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, he lives in Austin. [SPEAKER_00]: That was my whole thing why I wasn't taking them seriously.

[SPEAKER_00]: Was that he lives in Austin, and she's down here in Seattle, but apparently she's not even in Seattle, but also when she says she's in Oregon, that was the whole thing last episode where she said she wants to move closer to her family. [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm very confused as to what this is like, did they purposely pick her because she's in Austin too?

[SPEAKER_00]: Because they're both not talking about living in Austin. [SPEAKER_00]: So this is the thing that I wanted to share with you guys because that was a discovery for me, maybe other people already knew, but now my brain is going five, five miles a minute, like, did they work out as she moved to Austin?

[SPEAKER_00]: Or she's always been in Austin and that's why they paired them together. [SPEAKER_00]: So location would not be an issue. [SPEAKER_00]: So. [SPEAKER_00]: Um, past as that she's a tough little cookie package in this, uh, in this little package, but at the dinner party, she was blocking and rejecting Nick.

[SPEAKER_00]: She says she starts like, you know, there's an instant spark and she knows that feeling and I'm like, I thought you said you never had that feeling before and you go slow with all the guys. [SPEAKER_00]: So which is it, Courtney? [SPEAKER_00]: Because we Courtney, you never know, you know, what she's saying or not.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then the tears come and then she's crying. [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, Courtney, why are you crying? [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I have a hard time with Courtney, so I don't know, like, where do you stand when he comes to Courtney? [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, at this point, I mean, what you said about her social media is interesting, because that sounds like she and Nick would be great together.

[SPEAKER_01]: They both are gonna want that type of career. [SPEAKER_01]: But from what I've seen on the show, I feel like Courtney desperately wants to be able to break up with Nick and still come out looking good. [SPEAKER_01]: Like I think she wanted her family to give her a red flag. [SPEAKER_01]: And I think that the real source of the breakdown is she's like, I can't do this, but I can't be the bad person in the relationship.

[SPEAKER_00]: Which I don't know why. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, she can say that. [SPEAKER_00]: I just don't understand why she's mean about it, I guess. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: Well, and did you catch, I don't know if it was this episode, or she said something about how like she has trouble opening up, but that's like she's been like overly open.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, it was last episode. [SPEAKER_00]: I think I mentioned that too, where she said she has trouble, she'd rather the other person, you know, she'd rather be the one that suffers for it as something, and I'm like, you have not had any issue. [SPEAKER_00]: talking and saying all the things that you feel.

[SPEAKER_00]: So that's what I mean like she's a contradiction. [SPEAKER_00]: She just said that she knows what an instant spark is like and she's had that in the past, but from my recollection, she said that she's not had that before. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we're what are we saying? [SPEAKER_00]: So she talks about being safe and she needs time for her to feel safe and [SPEAKER_00]: I'm about to be a broken record guys, but if you need time to feel safe, don't sign up for masks, please, like, don't do it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like if you know that's what you require to be in a healthy relationship, even if that's the pace that you want to go, that you go at, that's fine. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think it's fair to the other person. [SPEAKER_00]: Who signed up for a six week show? [SPEAKER_00]: And you need time.

[SPEAKER_00]: How much time are we talking? [SPEAKER_00]: Because you don't have time on a show like this, you know? [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Um, paths asked her about her paths like we're safety and intimacy hand in hand and she says she hasn't had the best experiences in her past sexual experiences and she likes to be flirty, but she likes it to be at the friend level.

[SPEAKER_00]: So she likes to flirt on a friendly level where it can stay at the door, but she's signed up for a show called Marida First Site where the person [SPEAKER_00]: I don't get it. [SPEAKER_01]: Her and Caitlin both. [SPEAKER_01]: It's like things say one are not unreasonable, but why are you on married at first sight of all shows?

[SPEAKER_00]: Of all the shows. [SPEAKER_00]: So, paths as if she knows how to receive someone genuinely being into her and she's like, I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: past you should ask that question before you match her actually that's on you. [SPEAKER_00]: So she says you know she didn't talk a lot but they don't talk deeper and that's why she doesn't feel safe and comfort as quickly as quickly and I'm like do you initiate this conversation and he doesn't participate or are we just blaming Nick for everything like even the things that you're not doing it's [SPEAKER_00]: Um, Adam chimes in that Nick is a good guy.

[SPEAKER_00]: And she just needs to put the walls down and passes like, hey, Nick, you're sitting here. [SPEAKER_00]: Like we're just talking about Courtney, but for you, what are your fears? [SPEAKER_00]: What are your pain points? [SPEAKER_00]: Like honestly, I don't know much about you because you show up shiny and polished.

[SPEAKER_00]: which is true, but I think is a wild take to say when you're the one who matched him to get married. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, you should know him enough to match him. [SPEAKER_00]: So for you to say, I don't know much about you, that's a wild take to admit in front of everyone as a matchmaker.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, they're basically admitting what I've believed all along, but they just recruit people, [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, Nick is, I think Nick mentioned that he was recruited. [SPEAKER_00]: So literally, he was, um, he, um, they asked him, okay, she asked him, what are your fears?

[SPEAKER_00]: What are your pain points? [SPEAKER_00]: And much like when they asked him, like, what are some beliefs that you have as a conservative? [SPEAKER_00]: He's like, I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I haven't really thought about this. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what it is. [SPEAKER_00]: I can't think of anything passes like I call bullshit on that.

[SPEAKER_00]: He continues to say that and I'm like, okay, this is not good. [SPEAKER_00]: Like it's either you're lying or you're really not thinking about anything, which means like you're not putting any effort at all into the relationship. [SPEAKER_00]: And Paul tells him to look at Courtney and tell her something of high importance to him.

[SPEAKER_00]: And he says it again, I need to think about it. [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, oh, can we move on? [SPEAKER_00]: I'm over this. [SPEAKER_00]: Like vote this two couple, like two of them, vote them off the island. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sick of them. [SPEAKER_00]: So, um, [SPEAKER_00]: He's still struggling, but he ends by saying like he has a fear of being judged for his awkward goofy self so he becomes reserved.

[SPEAKER_00]: Michelle times in like well you have awkward goofy friends who I love and everyone's like way away and she's like oh we have friends we share friends we have mutual friends together and passes like great do you have anything you want to out about Nick and I truly truly was expecting her to say something.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think it would have been a great [SPEAKER_00]: Courtney says that what she feels is the uptightness of him and she loves him being silly and she just worries that they are surface. [SPEAKER_00]: I think I want to say that Camille is who said that, you know, the thing about reality TV we're all up on Courtney but maybe Courtney can't feel his blankness for lack of a better word and that's what she's reacting to and that's what is not [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it could be.

[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it's hard because Courtney does bother me so much. [SPEAKER_01]: Then again, Nick bugs me too. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I enjoy Nick and TV, but I could never have a relationship with someone who I feel like is putting on an act, and I could see how that could lead to a lot of insecurity.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think with Nick, it's more of a chicken of the egg. [SPEAKER_00]: Is he acting this way? [SPEAKER_00]: Because of Courtney, if he was paired with someone else, say I'm a rissa, would he still be this way? [SPEAKER_00]: Or is this just Nick? [SPEAKER_00]: Him just being very conscious of being on TV and just putting his best food forward.

[SPEAKER_00]: We'll never know. [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe we'll know because Kevin, Kevin Frazier asked all the questions. [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe he'll ask other reunion. [SPEAKER_00]: We'll see. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but he needs to think about his answer to make sure it's the right one. [SPEAKER_00]: That's true.

[SPEAKER_00]: That is true. [SPEAKER_00]: So she says she doesn't feel like she knows him and it feels very platonic and Paul says they need to try harder. [SPEAKER_00]: And Felipe asked them like have they ever talked about why past relationships failed and Courtney was like, I can answer that. [SPEAKER_00]: If she can answer that question for Nick, does that mean they're actually having conversations then because she does answer by saying that Nick has five boxes that he has for the person that he wants to end up with and for him he's like the boxes get ticked but no one ever reaches the six box.

[SPEAKER_00]: First of all, I'm like, okay, if they're five, if no one reaches the six blocks, that means there's six boxes and then they never get to the six. [SPEAKER_00]: Don't say they're five and then say no one reaches the six because unless it's just a metaphor for impossible standards. [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm telling people they're five, but I want them to get to six, but this is me just overthinking it.

[SPEAKER_00]: The math and math and they didn't math. [SPEAKER_00]: But she still feels like that's a polished answer and Paul agrees with her and [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I'm going to round up this couple by saying that Nick is lucky he was paired with Courtney because Courtney is so much of a mess that it's easy for him to hide behind and you know good on pass for all me being hard on her good on pass for calling him out and saying like you're just hiding behind the shadow of like she didn't say that but that's my interpretation hiding behind the shadows of Courtney, but who are you what are you about what do you want for [SPEAKER_00]: for you to say you don't have a pain point, for this man to tell people at the dinner party that their communication is so great, they're doing so well, like, are you here?

[SPEAKER_00]: Are you even in the relationship? [SPEAKER_00]: So there's something there, he just needs to be honest, which is what they told him at the group therapy is be honest. [SPEAKER_00]: And he's not being honest, but we don't know if it's because he's not into courting me, or if that's just him being cautious because he's been burned by TV before.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, well, I mean, I could say, and I think probably to you that Nick really hit the jackpot with Courtney because it was goal, which he seems very focused on the reality TV star of it all. [SPEAKER_01]: He can break up and still come out on top because it will she'll be the one that looks bad.

[SPEAKER_01]: And then he doesn't have to be married, but you can go on to the next show. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And then even if he's the bad guy, the way reality show works. [SPEAKER_00]: Now there's a show for that. [SPEAKER_00]: You could be in house of villains, you know, true villains are getting the best off of even traders and things.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, they want those and anything else that is so true. [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe this is his addition for traders. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I wonder if you wrote that in his contract. [SPEAKER_00]: He's like, I'll do it. [SPEAKER_00]: But if you can guarantee that I'll be on. [SPEAKER_00]: Traders guys if he's on the next season or the season after you heard it here first, okay?

[SPEAKER_00]: All right, let's move on to Tori and Felipay. [SPEAKER_00]: Felipay says that on paper they're good together and he felt that he had committed but didn't realize that he had to commit every single day Let me say that again just in case he didn't hear me. [SPEAKER_00]: He felt that he had committed but didn't realize that he had to commit every single day the fuck [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my goodness, what happened to changing and committing and all the things I just all I want Kevin's first question to be at the reunion is what show did you guys think you were signing up for?

[SPEAKER_00]: Did you guys think it was like love eyeliner or something? [SPEAKER_00]: Because everyone is acting brand new and it's pissing me off, you know? [SPEAKER_00]: He says like he's in a relationship where nothing is wrong but he keeps looking for something to be wrong. [SPEAKER_00]: and he didn't realize how avoidant he is and, you know, worried about the passion going and here comes a therapy speak again, like stop diagnosing yourself, like face what you were supposed to face and stop coming up with, you know, things for yourself.

[SPEAKER_00]: So, as mentioned, that people like to think like no butterflies falsely represents that, you know, your relationship is done, but what happens when you plateau in your relationship? [SPEAKER_00]: And he says, like, you know, that's what he's done the last four years. [SPEAKER_00]: And [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.

[SPEAKER_00]: I thought that was insensitive. [SPEAKER_00]: I just thought it was insensitive for him to say that so blatantly in front of Tori. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, yes, it's group therapy. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, you're saying things, but this is a person that you only know like a week, a little over a week.

[SPEAKER_00]: Don't just say things matter of fact because she's also trying to decipher how she feels and her body has already told her something. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, we're not going to ignore that like feeling that she had after they had sex. [SPEAKER_00]: It happened for a reason. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and yeah, and she's already like, you know she's on guard when he mentioned the cheating thing and this is not going to help her, you know, that feeling in the back of her mind is real.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they ask Tori how she feels hearing what he's saying and he's like, yeah, that it is scary. [SPEAKER_00]: At first, she couldn't even speak. [SPEAKER_00]: You could see her just trying to contain her emotions because, you know, she's one who likes to repress her emotion. [SPEAKER_00]: She just nods and says like, yeah, it is scary.

[SPEAKER_00]: When I say it was in sensitive, I think what he said just to expand on that is like, for the last four years, that's what he's done. [SPEAKER_00]: He's going into relationship. [SPEAKER_00]: The passion leaves is no more butterflies. [SPEAKER_00]: He just runs and then he runs and I'm like, that is not what your new wife wants to hear about her husband.

[SPEAKER_00]: Devon in the confessional says he relates to Torrey because Caitlyn is the Philippe here and she signed Caitlyn signed up for it to be one way and when she's challenged to open up and be vulnerable, it becomes an oh shit moment. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't necessarily think that is Philippe's problem.

[SPEAKER_00]: The man is an open book. [SPEAKER_00]: The man just wants to sleep around. [SPEAKER_00]: That's a whole different situation. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I see two very different issues with them. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, passes like, yeah, if I were you Tory, it was scared to shit out of me. [SPEAKER_00]: Are we ever going to get used to the experts [SPEAKER_00]: She's trying to be cool.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not going over well. [SPEAKER_00]: She really is. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a meter to settling and just realize you are in TV. [SPEAKER_00]: You are at the expert. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, don't be so happy to be here. [SPEAKER_00]: Tori says she understands how he feels because she's an avoidance.

[SPEAKER_00]: So Paul says that, you know, no, Paul tells Philippe. [SPEAKER_00]: that he thrives under uncertainty and he's telling himself that if things are certain, then he's going to be so bored. [SPEAKER_00]: So he's challenging him to reframe his way of thinking. [SPEAKER_00]: He's like become incredibly curious and it will never end.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's the passion. [SPEAKER_00]: It will only end when you stop being curious. [SPEAKER_00]: Throw away passion and replace it with curiosity. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, if you guys watch the show, you know how Paul talks and it's almost like being under a trans. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, he just commands the room, the way that he speaks.

[SPEAKER_00]: And everyone just went silent when he was making this speech. [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, wow, Paul, you really earning your paycheck on this one, you know? [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I like fall up front with it all. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so I thought that we're going to talk about it because I was going to be like, are we not going to talk about her flight, but Paul, you know, brings it up.

[SPEAKER_00]: And she says that, you know, she panicked and her panic was more like, is this the person that he's showing me, is this really him or is this a facade and they asked why couldn't she talk to him about it and she's like, she's just independent. [SPEAKER_00]: She just never talks to people when she's in a pickle or something like that.

[SPEAKER_00]: She just keeps it to herself. [SPEAKER_00]: So Paul says in moments like this, now is the time to test your partner. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, [SPEAKER_00]: I guess an interesting choice of words because usually testing your partner is not the right thing to do, but I think I understand what he was saying was just figure out, I think because the scenario is not the norm, but just figure out where they stand and how it is and then when you do this with your partner, he said, see if you feel safer or not and if you feel safer, then you know this and if you don't then pause.

[SPEAKER_00]: So paths asked if they've had additional intimate moments after that, which I thought was a good question because I was curious about it. [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, did you just have sex one time? [SPEAKER_00]: And that was it. [SPEAKER_00]: But where she didn't flee? [SPEAKER_00]: And they say yes.

[SPEAKER_00]: So they are having sex and she's not fleeing. [SPEAKER_00]: And flea-based like, oh, it was great for me. [SPEAKER_00]: So there goes my theory. [SPEAKER_00]: Because my theory was that I thought maybe this sex was in great for him. [SPEAKER_00]: And now he's just wondering like, huh? [SPEAKER_00]: This isn't as good as other women that I've had.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if I can sustain this for a while. [SPEAKER_00]: He said it was great, so good for them. [SPEAKER_00]: Philippe and Tori, so what do you think about them? [SPEAKER_00]: Where do you think they're headed? [SPEAKER_00]: How do you think this is all going to play out? [SPEAKER_01]: I am kind of torn because I have actually been, had my guard up as much as fully face one everybody over.

[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like he's had rose colored glasses and he's caught up in the love and the bubble. [SPEAKER_01]: And I think we're starting to see those come off. [SPEAKER_01]: He's maybe never been with one person for this long. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm actually encouraged that he's acknowledging that.

[SPEAKER_01]: But is the best place to work like maybe this should have been a one on one session with Paul not in front of Tory and everybody else and I think the real test is coming up see what he does about it is he actually going to make the changes or, you know, are they going to go back to the real life and everything is going to fall apart, which I hope not because for Tory.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm just curious to see if he's going to keep winding about the passion because at that point is going to get old real quick if he keeps talking about that. [SPEAKER_01]: So it has to be more than that. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, we move on to Mecca and Bell Julie and pass a jumps in on if they did the homework, if they went beyond the forehead kisses.

[SPEAKER_00]: And Mecca was like, yeah, we skipped the entire homework and exchange for going all the way for it. [SPEAKER_00]: So for those of you who watch Love Island, every season they have different terminologies or words that they use when they have sex or they have any kind of sexual contact, like I think this season was like, [SPEAKER_00]: French fries or in the UK, there are many other words that they used to go to the salon or go get fast food or something like that.

[SPEAKER_00]: So for this group, it looks like when you have sex, the word is vibed or they're vibing. [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, did you get this from Adam? [SPEAKER_00]: But okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Let's go with that. [SPEAKER_00]: So, um, I think Devon was like, yeah, they were vibing. [SPEAKER_00]: So they ask, uh, built your league is she feeling connected and more desires and she's like, oh, just a point of correction.

[SPEAKER_00]: I never did not feel desired. [SPEAKER_00]: I always felt desired and passes like, really? [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, what? [SPEAKER_00]: Why are you challenging her? [SPEAKER_00]: Like, he just needed them to make a move. [SPEAKER_00]: But I think Pass is correcting being confused because I thought there was a whole attraction conversation and she was upset because she felt like maybe he wasn't into her as much as he was.

[SPEAKER_00]: So now she did the switch up and said that she never, she didn't ever not feel desired. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think, [SPEAKER_00]: I can't tell, too, but I think Bell Julie's a kind of person who's a, I'm going to stick by my man, and she will never try to say anything that's the opposite or go against him like in public, and I can't tell if she generally just felt like she, she did feel desired or if she's just trying to not have Mecca being called out in this situation.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I felt like we missed something, because last I knew they specifically said there was that disconnect would be attraction, which I didn't even know if it was real or was just mecha trying to protect himself, but yeah, I felt like we missed something. [SPEAKER_01]: Or like you said, maybe she's just gonna stick back in no matter what, because they do seem, they seem to be into each other.

[SPEAKER_01]: They're just, he's not saying that. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they seem to be into each other, but it's also like maybe their baggage is too much, but can they get through it together is the question and that's what I don't I really really hope they're working because I really like them together I like the way even though it's a thin line I do like the way that she accepts him for who she is and like she met his dad and isn't scared off by him.

[SPEAKER_00]: And can make it work, but I just, I also don't want her to suffer for it. [SPEAKER_00]: Like if it becomes too much, she should always choose herself and walk away. [SPEAKER_00]: Like she shouldn't spend the rest of her days just reassuring him. [SPEAKER_00]: But I like that she's willing to accept him and I hope he leans into it and does the same for her.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I wonder if it will help his confidence to this, you know? [SPEAKER_01]: Again, I don't know that I believe that he's really not that much into her or that he's afraid to say it. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so Paul says like this is a challenge with them. [SPEAKER_00]: They have been matched, but they need to keep choosing each other, and he feels that Mecca has never chosen bill.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to lie that I was a little taken a back by this because I know that it's very easy to get taken in by Paul's words, but I'm like, is this fact? [SPEAKER_00]: that he's never chosen Belle. [SPEAKER_00]: He was like, he knows that you have not officially chosen her yet. [SPEAKER_00]: I think Belle's release tearing up at this point, which makes me believe she agrees with Paul.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I don't know if I completely agree. [SPEAKER_00]: Do you? [SPEAKER_01]: Well, is it just based on that one conversation? [SPEAKER_01]: I can't I feel for missing something like what's happened between? [SPEAKER_01]: When are they choosing or not choosing? [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, thank you, because I was like, I, okay, like, maybe you have information that we don't, but to flat out, just say this man has not officially chosen her, like, I was a little lost.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what that meant. [SPEAKER_00]: So, he says, Mekka's challenge is dealing with someone who is very much into you. [SPEAKER_00]: That I can agree with. [SPEAKER_00]: That, okay, she's into you. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't know what to do with it. [SPEAKER_00]: You feel like, you know, you're not deserving.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's a whole other story, but the whole not [SPEAKER_00]: I don't get it. [SPEAKER_00]: So past says that they asked him if he feels deserving of love or if he is blocking it and he's like, well, partially, I feel like it. [SPEAKER_00]: Like I see other people who are deserving of love, but I don't see myself fitting into that script.

[SPEAKER_00]: He says it feels good to receive it, but he doesn't know if he's accepting. [SPEAKER_00]: And past says like, you know, based on his, you know, past experiences, like maybe he doesn't know how to feel super safe with a woman at this point, you know, mech has bouncing his feet so you can tell like, you know, his anxiety is up.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then this is a part where I really felt like should this be said in a group setting. [SPEAKER_00]: Pass suddenly just comes on. [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, you know, guys, I'm going to share something. [SPEAKER_00]: When I told Mecca that he was matched, he said, oh, I feel like crying.

[SPEAKER_00]: I just can't believe that someone might love me forever. [SPEAKER_00]: And that just felt so private to me, that it's so vulnerable. [SPEAKER_00]: And yes, it's on camera. [SPEAKER_00]: I get it. [SPEAKER_00]: But is this something you should reveal to the whole group? [UNKNOWN]: I don't know.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's pushing it. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: as is like, I'm gonna cry now and I'm like, what, like, fast, get it together. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, don't say that. [SPEAKER_00]: And she says she told him, like, I will not let you do the thing of blocking, and now she feels like he's on the edging of sabotaging himself.

[SPEAKER_00]: Paul then brings up and says that they showed up different at the dinner than they did today and that the dinner was performative. [SPEAKER_00]: Bell Julie says, we talked about the dinner. [SPEAKER_00]: It was authentic on my end and I think it was for his, I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: Uh, mecha says like it may be because of the social setting and the environment, it was exaggerated and I'm like this is how he was with his friends on the wedding day when he was talking about should I kiss or should I pick you all saw that which I do mecha's just a tight extra.

[SPEAKER_00]: Have you met his dad? [SPEAKER_01]: You know, yeah, yeah, this whole performing thing just completely threw me. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, [SPEAKER_01]: If we're ranking performative, they're like at the bottom of the list. [SPEAKER_01]: They all were to some extent in a social setting. [SPEAKER_01]: But yes, I would have called them the most real of anybody.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'd like, if they're, if you're gone with, there were extra, yes, absolutely. [SPEAKER_00]: But the whole performance, when we had other people that were there, it kind of pissed me off. [SPEAKER_00]: And that was not it because Michelle comes in and is like, oh, you know, what you share today was more real and authentic than at the dinner.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like you were seeing things like, you were, you guys were putting this world to be put together. [SPEAKER_00]: Then next thing is like you're not as attracted then and then next thing you're all over each other that she had whip lash But today she respects it more and she thinks him for sharing you guys I was really pissed off by this.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know Michelle is the darling of the show or whatever it is called, but this really pissed me off because I don't know how I feel about this I don't like when people think that the only time people are being real is when they're broken down [SPEAKER_00]: or heard or crying or whatever it is that you think it is and I don't appreciate her comment about Mecca was he being extra?

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: He could have been over compensating because he felt awkward at the dinner or he was feeling nervous at the dinner but it doesn't mean he wasn't being real. [SPEAKER_00]: part of his personality is that he's extra, maybe does the most, but I just, I just didn't appreciate that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't know why she had to make that comment, especially giving that later on when we're talking about when they're doing the debrief and she and Cameron are talking. [SPEAKER_00]: And then they're like, oh, Felipe and Tori are doing great. [SPEAKER_00]: They're a great couple. [SPEAKER_00]: They're a great couple.

[SPEAKER_00]: The man who doesn't want to commit and things that monogamy is like, this four-letter word. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: I was really pissed about this. [SPEAKER_00]: What did you think? [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, you said it well, and I mean, of course the vibe as I like to say is different at the dinner versus group counseling when they're being called out on things, I mean, you probably did feel a little bit more just goofy happy whatever and now it's uncomfortable, whatever.

[SPEAKER_00]: And there's some of our faces like yes, he would they have the attraction conversation then he said oh, maybe that was a stupid question, but time passed after that and yes, he was like, oh, when I saw what she had in the back side, blah, blah, blah, and everyone was hyping him up. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I'm not even arguing that he wasn't extra.

[SPEAKER_00]: I just, just in situation that he's not being himself, especially after hearing, you know, the whole talk and concentrating on him, not, you know, loving himself or being insecure. [SPEAKER_00]: Now he has to be conscious about people thinking that he's not being real and he's putting up an act and I don't know, I really felt for him in that moment.

[SPEAKER_00]: You could tell on his face too, that he was just like, oh my god, where did this come from? [SPEAKER_01]: So, you know, come fully from him. [SPEAKER_01]: No, I just didn't. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm probably thrown in so was I. Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, and the confessional and mech says like the comment, the comment heard because he could have done less yes, but Belcher Lee is like, I don't know, he was genuine to me.

[SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, that's all matters. [SPEAKER_00]: That's what that matters. [SPEAKER_00]: If she thinks that they were being honest, even though at the back of my head, I'm like, if she doing that thing where she's just, I'm a backup my man, regardless of what it is, [SPEAKER_00]: Do you love yourself to receive love and I'm like anybody but you please anybody shut up I don't want to hear from you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want you talking to him and he's like yes I love myself and I'm doing that, you know every day and [SPEAKER_00]: Devon tells him that he sees him, he's not alone and he has people who's going to be there with him and Mecca is just like, you know, it's just a mental barrier that, you know, I'm working through.

[SPEAKER_00]: Bells releases like she could feel this that she has had a traumatic upbringing that triggers anxiety and panic attacks. [SPEAKER_00]: She knows it's going to trickle into the relationship and that's why she feels like she understands him so much. [SPEAKER_00]: And she just wants him to know that he's beyond deserving of love and if nobody else is going to show it to him, she will.

[SPEAKER_00]: And Devon is not like, that's it. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, boy. [SPEAKER_00]: That's it. [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, I'm glad that Bill Joly wasn't forced or felt like she had to go into detail about her traumatic upbringing and things like that because the way the group therapy was going, I'm like, please don't make her share anything or share it with him.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like that seems like a private thing that's going on with her. [SPEAKER_01]: I can't really force them to share, yeah, or what they can say, look, I really don't want to talk about this. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Then we get a confessional, and we get Felipe yapping about bilgioli is very ready for mecca, but mecca is not ready at all for bilgioli.

[SPEAKER_00]: And now I'm really, really annoyed by everyone. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't need peanut gallery commentary. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't need misconservative and Mr. monogamy like go fix your own shit, like go away. [SPEAKER_00]: So, [SPEAKER_00]: Like I said, my summary of these two is like, I don't want Belle's your lead to be a fixer for the entirety of their relationship, like she can try and be there for him.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if it doesn't work and he doesn't love himself and it's not working, please save yourself and leave the relationship. [SPEAKER_00]: But fingers crossed for them. [SPEAKER_01]: In the last thoughts, no. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, Nikki and Sean, they talk about their homework and their ratings, they say they have done the ratings.

[SPEAKER_00]: The first time they did the rating, it was a 10 and the second was like a 9 point something, if you remember, and they're one on one, it was a 2 on her end and a 7.5 from him. [SPEAKER_00]: They say they've been talking, they have a lot of commonalities and the air has been clear, and she can see her physical attraction growing.

[SPEAKER_00]: Nick is like, I'm so confused. [SPEAKER_00]: How did you go from dinner to 10 of a 10? [SPEAKER_00]: Like, yeah, I feel like I missed 10 chapters. [SPEAKER_00]: And this is my problem with Nick. [SPEAKER_00]: When you're recording me, [SPEAKER_00]: you're not saying much but then when he comes to commentary in the other couples all of a sudden you have a voice and you can speak up and then you're snarky on top of everything because it's one thing to say oh guys like how did you get here that's great but for you to say oh from the dinner I'm confused I miss 10 chapters that's some passive aggressive like talk right there [SPEAKER_01]: Oh yeah, that's like none of your business.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so he says like, you know, they started Sean is saying, like, listen, what happened is that we started out in tents, but now we're taking the other route and now we're going light and for everyone else, they started out all happy and now they're just getting to deep. [SPEAKER_00]: So we're taking opposite route and then Paul said, and then he repeats what Paul told [SPEAKER_00]: power and respect and something else and he was not saying things for closeness and he was basically trying to win and basically going like you respect me as a man but now that he's conscious of all three his conscious of it when he speaks to Nikki and it has changed the tone of the conversation.

[SPEAKER_00]: Nick again in a confessional is like they're presenting it like oh my god they took a step on the moon instead of like oh they took one step I'm like Nick what do you care like stop I don't like the snarky things like as much as we've had. [SPEAKER_00]: commentary from other couples in the past.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's never been like this competitive. [SPEAKER_00]: I think he's forgetting what show he's on. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't win a prize. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't win money. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't win anything here. [SPEAKER_00]: So if people are taking strides, take you for what it is. [SPEAKER_00]: Even if you don't believe it, like his commentary just robs me.

[SPEAKER_00]: His confessional erupts me the wrong way when he talks about the other couples, especially when he's burned down. [SPEAKER_01]: Well, he's doing the reality TV thing, right? [SPEAKER_01]: They know the half time, I mean, like you said, maybe he doesn't know what show he's at and because on Bravo, the only way to keep your job is to start jumping into the drama.

[SPEAKER_01]: You know, if it's none of your business, it feels like he's doing. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: So Nikki says that her tone didn't need to be that way, so she's conscious of it now. [SPEAKER_00]: And when they ask Michelle and Cameron, they're like, Nicky and Shawn's answers just seem contrived.

[SPEAKER_00]: ordinarily I would usually like agree with Nikki and Sean like their answer seemed rehearsed but Michelle is on my back side today so I'm just not wanting to hear anything from her like I don't know it's kind of like do you watch the valley or medical rules at all? [SPEAKER_00]: It was reminding me of you don't like Brittany, everyone just decided Brittany's an angel so regardless of what she does she's like great and I'm like no that's not the case for you to be married to jacks there is something in you and you are not an angel so everyone has dim that Michelle is such an angel and now everything she says holds weight and she's just saying all the things against people I like so she's on my back side today.

[SPEAKER_01]: nuanced people. [SPEAKER_00]: Devon and Caitlin, I think we're the final couple that went last and I'm like, you guys, why did you do this to Caitlin? [SPEAKER_00]: She can't wait that long. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, just goes right in and asks Devon, like, do you feel, I think he asked him like, do you feel like your light has been dimmed?

[SPEAKER_00]: He said, right out of the gate, he didn't, he didn't warm up. [SPEAKER_00]: No, Lou, just went straight. [SPEAKER_00]: And then he says, all the love bombing was too much for her. [SPEAKER_00]: And it was pushing her away. [SPEAKER_00]: So he just took a step back. [SPEAKER_00]: So she can get what she needs right now.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what matters. [SPEAKER_00]: They ask, Caitlin, do you think his light has diminished? [SPEAKER_00]: She goes 100%. [SPEAKER_00]: And Felipe says, like, he is so committed. [SPEAKER_00]: He's willing to do anything. [SPEAKER_00]: And Paul says like, you know, that's a fear that he has like honestly he might be the most committed of them all and he is a brilliant partner but he shouldn't have to lose himself in this.

[SPEAKER_00]: Caitlyn says like, you know, [SPEAKER_00]: He is fantastic and she likes that he is grounding but usually she's slightly and Paul says well that's not his job to ground you like you have to do that for yourself and she's like well three years ago I was much worse and I like her energy right now and I find that Caitlyn does that a lot hey Caitlyn can you hold hands well three years ago I used to hold I wouldn't even hold a finger so better appreciate whatever I'm giving you now [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, Caitlin, do you think you could smile?

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, three years ago, I didn't have, I used to have a skull on my face. [SPEAKER_00]: So if I'm giving you a blank face right now, you should be appreciative of what you're getting. [SPEAKER_00]: And I just think like she needs to live live in the presence, especially when you signed up for a show called Married Our First Site.

[SPEAKER_00]: Paul says, love does not diminish you, and you shouldn't have to shrink to fit. [SPEAKER_00]: And Caitlyn is not budging guys, she stands her ground and she says, I want him to feel grounded, but if our energy shifts, I don't know if I can handle that, but for right now, I kind of like, what we have, I need that for me to be able to like, you know, function at this level.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, Caitlyn, it's not all about what you want. [SPEAKER_00]: You know that, right? [SPEAKER_00]: And I think to Devon's detriment, him saying like that's all that matters, he can't for get himself just to make her happy because it's not sustainable. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it was like this whole conversation opened with, he's having to change himself in his light in order to do what she needs.

[SPEAKER_01]: As meanwhile, she likes to just go off and do her own thing anyways. [SPEAKER_01]: So, and then they talk in this full circle and come right back here of like, well, I need someone to run me, okay, I'll be that for you. [SPEAKER_01]: So what do we get out of that? [SPEAKER_00]: Nothing and that that's what I've been saying is like I feel like we're all tiptoeing everyone and that's dev in the experts everyone around Caitlyn and I'm like what hold is she having everyone like what is happening here [SPEAKER_00]: He said that they can have practices of why she's feeling that way.

[SPEAKER_00]: He'll try to do that and he goes, will you try? [SPEAKER_00]: She goes, yes, I'm like, I'm not sold. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't. [SPEAKER_00]: She knows that she has a man who's willing to do anything. [SPEAKER_00]: So she's just going to take advantage of it. [SPEAKER_00]: Why not and just get through the six weeks.

[SPEAKER_00]: So as of now, I think she's going to say no, but who knows? [SPEAKER_00]: That unless he just comes into her life and stays away from her. [SPEAKER_00]: That is not what he wants for his feature. [SPEAKER_00]: All right, so pass, ask them what they will say if today was decision day, if they'll say yes, no or undecided.

[SPEAKER_00]: Caitlyn says, undecided, I'm like, Caitlyn, you a damn lie, you know it's no, but, you know, good for you, factually saying undecided and sparing devil's feelings. [SPEAKER_00]: Devon says, undecided that he needs her to be more open. [SPEAKER_00]: Sean said undecided. [SPEAKER_00]: Nikki said undecided.

[SPEAKER_00]: Cameron said yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Michelle said yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Nick said undecided. [SPEAKER_00]: Courtney said undecided. [SPEAKER_00]: Another lie. [SPEAKER_00]: Bell Julie said undecided. [SPEAKER_00]: Meckas said undecided. [SPEAKER_00]: Tory says yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Philippe says yes.

[SPEAKER_00]: Marissa says yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Adam says yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Is there anyone in here that you think we're lying? [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I think I decided was a way of saying not if it was right now, but I'll give it another chance. [SPEAKER_01]: All right, this show up. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but do you think they were lying or that's how they really felt.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think they want to stay in the show. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I mean, they're not getting kicked out either way. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, regardless of what they say. [SPEAKER_00]: So I mentioned the people that I thought were lying about their decisions, but I do think on decided is a kind way to instead of saying no, because I do think if you say no, it changes the dynamic of your relationship.

[SPEAKER_00]: So on the site, I'm glad they included the option of undecided. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: I guess that's what I'm saying. [SPEAKER_01]: I think if it were actually like you can make that you have to make the decision right now, they would probably be in no, I think, um, you know, they would be in no, but they are willing to, you know, see what the next few weeks could change.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I get you. [SPEAKER_00]: So like if on decided was not an option there answer be no exactly if you had to choose right now I think the on the side is would be a no yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Got it. [SPEAKER_00]: That makes sense. [SPEAKER_00]: So Adam says This is afterwards.

[SPEAKER_00]: They're all debriefing in different ways animals like oh, it was so attractive seeing his girl being open [SPEAKER_00]: You can have her open all the, any time you want, just ask her questions, you know, Caitlyn says they're in a car with Devon and she's like, she wants a massage. [SPEAKER_00]: He's like, I give good massages.

[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, no, I want a massage from a professional. [SPEAKER_00]: He was like, I give pretty good professional massages. [SPEAKER_00]: She's like, no, I want a massage from someone who is not interested in me. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, God damn, this woman just, it's not trying, but I don't.

[SPEAKER_00]: Nick is so focused on the people that said yes and has yet another confessional saying like what are these people thinking like how can they say yes they just met these people I don't believe them they're not saying the truth and I'm just like Nick use all this energy to talk to your wife Courtney the same way don't say it for and be a confessional person on there and start talking there.

[SPEAKER_00]: Um, Mecca looks pissed and dejected when they get home and he says it again and says like the fact that he comes from Michelle, who everyone, you know, respects and looks at like she's going to say to truth and things like that before her to think that he was being performative that that really hurt him.

[SPEAKER_00]: Why are we doing all of this for Mecca? [SPEAKER_00]: Like I think Megan, it could be editing, but that's part of why I was annoyed. [SPEAKER_00]: Like we know Mecca is fighting his own battles or demons or anything. [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe anime is, but he's not telling us how we gonna know this man came in with a tag that he didn't take off.

[SPEAKER_00]: Why don't we have all that energy for him? [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they asked him, but nobody piped in to say, oh, you're being all this. [SPEAKER_00]: They knew that they were being all shallow and surface, but nobody, you know, felt the need to chime in, you know? [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't know.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can understand. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like I said, they all were being performative to some extent. [SPEAKER_01]: And he was no worse than if anything better. [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, that whole thing just threw me. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, yeah, she says the nitpicking is making me feel some type of way, but all I need from you is for you to be mecca.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then he's like, that's why I like you. [SPEAKER_00]: And then they kiss and like, oh, thank God. [SPEAKER_00]: They didn't bump fist or high five or something. [SPEAKER_00]: They actually can see each other. [SPEAKER_00]: Michelle and Cameron are saying, like, you know, I, he uploads them and campuses, like, and he kind of called Mecca and builds really out.

[SPEAKER_00]: And she's like, no, not really. [SPEAKER_00]: And they're like, well, Torian Felipe said, yes, is, you know, they're a good couple. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, okay, like, you didn't hear him say all of the things that he said before that. [SPEAKER_00]: He tells her that he'll miss her when he leaves.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then they talk about what works best for them [SPEAKER_00]: And that was the end of the episode. [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, pretty entertaining episode and give us a look. [SPEAKER_00]: I wonder, we only have about three more drops. [SPEAKER_00]: So I wonder how many more group therapy sessions we are going to see.

[SPEAKER_00]: If it was on lifetime, at least we know every week we'll get like some kind of group therapy. [SPEAKER_00]: But now I don't know with the drops, how many of those we're gonna see. [SPEAKER_00]: But at least one more, I believe we should see ya. [SPEAKER_01]: Probably one just like it's like a check-in and everyone like yeah Yeah, and the mid-season will have another relieving up to decision day.

[SPEAKER_01]: I would be out. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, okay Who before we round out as always who has your bouquet for the episode? [SPEAKER_01]: Might be a hot take, but I'm actually going to give mine to Philippe specifically this episode even though I know he [SPEAKER_01]: made a lot of people concerned.

[SPEAKER_01]: I am actually glad to see him acknowledge these things as the rose colored glasses come off and I want to see what he does with it. [SPEAKER_00]: That is a hot take. [SPEAKER_01]: I was not expecting that at all. [SPEAKER_00]: I knew I was talking to people at the opposite. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, okay, but that's the video of it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love when we have like, you know, people come from behind like just unexpected. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: All right. [SPEAKER_00]: Um, mine is going to the experts. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, including past. [SPEAKER_00]: I know I'm hard on past, but I like to be objective. [SPEAKER_00]: Like if they do something that's good.

[SPEAKER_00]: I will give it to them. [SPEAKER_00]: We know that Paul is carrying the show for the experts, but she did ask some questions. [SPEAKER_00]: She's still acting like a fan, but she did ask some questions. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, making them talk about things because against the nature of the show, it's a group therapy, I'm sure they mentioned that to them.

[SPEAKER_00]: But as experts, I think they asked like good questions, held them to the fire and it was a good group therapy session. [SPEAKER_00]: Is it okay? [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, who has your asses? [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe just the group as a whole, um, probably, um, well, for the way, and that just, the way they came at neck.

[SPEAKER_01]: I really bothered me. [SPEAKER_01]: And you know, like, again, they, like you said, there are so many things they could have picked on people that like I said, I think Adam and Nick are particularly performative and they're just rolling with that aside from asking them to go deeper. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, to even like the here there are a group therapy session and they're giving my hard time about having his emotions change over time and yeah, we've talked about it a lot, but that just they all bothered me with that experts in the cast. [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's fair because you know, he wasn't the only one who's emotions, you know, flip flopped and they just picked on him.

[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, [SPEAKER_00]: My ashes are in the same vein. [SPEAKER_00]: Again, I know she's the darling, but again, it was just Michelle. [SPEAKER_00]: It was just what she said, you know, going that extra mile. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, she had something to say about everyone. [SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't necessarily bad.

[SPEAKER_00]: She piped in when he came to Nick. [SPEAKER_00]: She piped in with that. [SPEAKER_00]: She did say it about Adam, like, did he? [SPEAKER_00]: Did he open up? [SPEAKER_00]: But I was like, I don't want. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want that feeling of maybe you feel like, oh, you're a top couple.

[SPEAKER_00]: So you can chime in anything. [SPEAKER_00]: And I also understand there's also editing. [SPEAKER_00]: I just decided to change it up because Courtney has had my ashes for the last, I don't know, I think she has a trifecta at this point. [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, switching things up a bit and I gave it to Rishelle for that.

[SPEAKER_01]: So if there's one way, if there's one way to make a star become or give me the egg anyways, it's to have them think that they are just clean of everybody and above everybody. [SPEAKER_01]: She was giving that. [SPEAKER_01]: So I don't disagree. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't know if that was her intent.

[SPEAKER_00]: Probably is not, but it's my podcast. [SPEAKER_00]: I can do it. [SPEAKER_00]: I won't. [SPEAKER_01]: So. [SPEAKER_00]: Well, you guys let me know who has your bouquet and asses for the week, a denny, thank you so much for coming on and for talking maps with me. [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're welcome. [SPEAKER_00]: You guys know where to find me. [SPEAKER_00]: It is Tain Talks across all social media. [SPEAKER_00]: Please give me a five star rating on Apple podcast and Spotify. [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't like what you heard, please tell your friends in the group chat and stay subscribed.

[SPEAKER_00]: So you don't miss out on the next batch of episodes that are coming out next week. [SPEAKER_00]: Until next time, guys. [UNKNOWN]: I'm full.

MAFS S20 Ep. 9: Performative or Nah? w/Dani

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