The Birds and the Bees and the Astronauts

Birds do it. Bees do it. But do astronauts a thousand miles above the trees do it? Maybe. And if not yet, people will have sex in space someday. And when they do, it will be a lot different than sex on Earth. For reasons that are both thought-provoking and, frankly, just funny. In fact, learning about sex in space is a good introduction to the challenges of life in space generally. Unfortunately, NASA and other space agencies refuse to fund research on human sex in space, or even talk about the subject.

Which is not only silly, it's risky. As you are probably aware, sex can lead to pregnancy. And evidence suggests that pregnancies in space could be harmful for both the fetus and the mother. Sex also has real psychological consequences for humans, as does a lack of sex. So, sex in space might be a titillating topic, but ignoring it is downright dangerous. This is The Disappearing Spoon by Sam Kean, a topsy-turvy, science-y history podcast where footnotes become the real story.

Roughly 700 people have visited space, often in pairs or teams, so the opportunity to have sex up there has arisen. But have people actually done it? One reason to think maybe not is that it's hard to feel sexy in space. There's very little privacy. You fart a lot. You're crammed into a tin can with several other unwashed people. And frankly, space is hell on the body. Being in space disrupts your heart rhythm and your balance. Sun rises and sunsets are screwed up, so people struggle to sleep. This in turn disrupts the body's circadian rhythm and throws your hormones all out of whack. People's libidos often crash. And even if the mood strikes, sex would be harder physiologically. Have you ever seen pictures of astronauts in orbit and noticed

how puffy their faces look? That's because blood and other fluids do not drain as easily when you're weightless. They collect in the upper body instead. Unfortunately, blood also powers erections, so if there's more blood in the head and less blood down there, it's harder to get and maintain an erection in space. That fluid imbalance would also affect women.

Women's vaginas produce fluid when they're aroused. With less fluid down there, sex would be less comfortable. In addition, vaginal fluids flow due to gravity. But in zero gravity, fluids pool at the point of origin. As a result, the vagina would again be less lubricated. Obviously, that's not an insurmountable problem nowadays when we have lubricants, but it is another obstacle. Another reason to think there's been no sex in space is the psychology of the crews. Of the 700 people who visited space, the far majority were astronauts working for national space agencies. They're highly disciplined, highly professional people.

Space agencies don't want any hanky-panky up there, and astronauts obey orders. But human beings are human. Even astronauts rebel or do dumb things. And there are two missions in particular where space sex definitely could have been in play. In 1982, the Soviet Union launched the world's first ever mixed male-female crew. Two men... One woman. And according to a later book by a German astronaut, the trio had orders to try having sex in space. Now, why a German astronaut supposedly knew this is not clear. But for what it's worth, he did make that claim. The other maybe-sex mission took place in 1992. A year earlier, a male and female astronaut at NASA had met, fallen in love, and secretly gotten married. Meanwhile, they randomly got assigned to

the same mission and ended up in orbit together. As one observer noted, their joint flight was practically their honeymoon. Makes the typical Caribbean getaway look kinda dull. Now, there's no evidence the two ever did the deed up there. But wouldn't you be tempted? And given their practice at being elusive and secretive, it doesn't seem crazy to think they could have snuck off for a quickie. And regardless, whatever astronauts have or have not done, government space agencies do not have a monopoly on space travel anymore. Private rocket companies now exist like SpaceX and Blue Origin. They do serious work like delivering satellites. But they're also opening up space for tourism. Within the next decade, space vacations

lasting a few days or even a week might become common. Now, those companies can try to prohibit sex, but space tourists will likely be different psychologically than astronauts. They'll be risk-takers, boundary pushers, people who maybe even enjoy breaking rules, including, perhaps, prohibitions on sex. And as space travel becomes mainstream, the opportunities will only grow. A few companies are already sketching plans to build space hotels, essentially private space stations. Obviously, people will have sex in those. An adult website also tried to raise $ 3. 4 million a few years ago to film a porno in space. Really? So, yeah, if sex has not already happened in space, it will soon. And when it does, what will it look like? The short

answer is that sex in space will be a lot more difficult. The problem here is Isaac Newton, or at least Newton's laws of motion. For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. Not to get too descriptive, but sex depends on motion, often one person pushing against another. That push is a force. On Earth, that push force gets counteracted by gravity. But in space, every time you push against your partner, you'll go bouncing off in the opposite direction. It's just hard to stay locked together. The force-counterforce pushes you apart. To counteract this, one sexologist suggested that human beings could do what dolphins sometimes do, have a third party there to hold a couple together and

prevent them from drifting apart. For those of you who are a little less voyeuristic, there are other options. People could strap themselves together instead, or get creative with Velcro. In fact, someone did invent what's called the two-suit, a two-person suit designed for sex in space. It's essentially a giant bag with Velcro all over the outside. As far as anybody knows, the two-suit has never been road-tested, but it's good to know it's there. So let's say we overcome all the potential obstacles for sex in space. There are willing partners, a space hotel, we overcome all the gravitational and physiological challenges. Anything else to worry about? Unfortunately, yes.

There is still the problem of space pregnancy. Now, reproduction is not the be-all and end-all of sex. Heck, reproduction isn't even possible in many types of sex. Which is fine. It's still a zesty enterprise. But it would be naive to ignore the fact that sex often does lead to pregnancy, which means we need to take the possibilities seriously. One consideration is that it might be harder to get pregnant in space. Space can disrupt menstrual cycles and damage ovaries.

It interferes with sperm production, too. Sperm in zero gravity might also have trouble swimming through the uterus and fallopian tubes to reach the egg. But other creatures have gotten pregnant in space. Guess what the first creature to do so was? It was a... fish. Specifically, a Japanese rice fish, a little fry. Since then, jellyfish, sea urchins, snails, frogs, salamanders, and rodents have all bred in space too. So it's at least possible for animals to reproduce up there. Unfortunately for humans, serious problems could arise after the pregnancy starts.

Let's say a sperm does reach an egg and fertilize it. At this point, the zygote normally begins to migrate down the fallopian tubes toward the uterus. But in space, you're weightless, and being weightless could impede the egg's ability to migrate. If so, the fertilized egg could get stuck in the fallopian tubes, what's called an ectopic pregnancy. That's a dangerous situation.

It's painful and life-threatening. It would be especially dangerous in a space capsule, which lacks the equipment that a full hospital has. But let's say the fetus does implant properly in the uterus. Well, then the real danger begins, because of cosmic radiation. When you're in space, it's impossible to avoid being bombarded with atomic particles. Electrons, protons, alpha particles, they are all over. On the ground here, the Earth's magnetic field deflects those particles and shields us. But in deep space, you can't hide. Some of those atomic particles stream along at such high speeds that they can penetrate thick metal walls. And even if the walls stop them, when the particles strike the wall, they produce secondary atomic shrapnel,

which is almost as bad as the originals. When those particles strike our cells, they clobber our DNA and tear the double helix apart. The particles can also shear hydrogen atoms off the H2O water molecules in our cells. The H1O that's left over is highly reactive and will also attack and shred DNA. Either way, DNA damage can lead to cancer. That's a problem even for adults in space, but the problem is magnified for developing fetuses. Especially early on, fetuses are basically little bundles of madly dividing cells. And if the DNA in one of those early cells gets mutated in a bad way, that mutation will end up inside every single daughter cell that divides from the original.

Even beyond cancer, vulnerable structures like the brain and heart are developing in utero. DNA mutations can prevent those organs from developing properly and lead to awful birth defects. Another potential source of birth defects is carbon dioxide. Given the fact that spaceships are confined spaces, the CO2 we exhale can build up to high levels pretty easily. That's true even with good air scrubbers, and carbon dioxide does seem to increase the risk of neuron damage and stillbirths during pregnancy.

Animal studies also suggest that weightlessness in general could be an issue for a newborn. Now, It's always tricky to jump from other animals to human beings, just because frogs or rodents show a certain biological response that does not mean humans will. But sometimes the results do apply, and the animal studies on babies born weightless are troubling. Tadpoles born in space cannot swim in straight lines. They just go around and around in circles. Other animals have balance issues.

Baby rats born in space could not tell up from down or even flip themselves upright when dropped underwater. When brought back to Earth, the baby rats did recover this ability eventually, but they had to get back to Earth quickly. Depending on the length of a space trip, astronauts might not have that option. Beyond the fetus, there's also the mother's health to consider. In truth, some parts of human pregnancy might be easier in space. When you're weightless, it's a lot easier to manage that bowling ball strapped to your belly and not let it drag you down. Unfortunately, the flip side is that the end stage of pregnancy, labor, could be much worse in space. In one study, five pregnant rats all had painful extended labors, probably because it's

harder to bear down and push in zero gravity. And keep in mind that rats usually have far easier births than human beings. In humans, giving birth is like squeezing a cantaloupe through a hole the size of an orange. A lack of gravity will make things even worse. Given all the potential dangers of pregnancy in space, you might think that space agencies are diligently studying all the risks and educating everyone they can. But you would be wrong.

NASA refuses to fund studies on human sex in space. In fact, it actively tells astronauts to avoid the subject. The agency also removed a book on sex in space from its gift shops, a move that the author called childish and short-sighted. I agree. We're not Puritans here. No one knows why exactly NASA and other space groups are so skittish about sex. They probably worry that sex is taboo or something, or that they'll risk losing funding or take a hit to their reputations. But there are risks in avoiding the topic as well. Let's say some company or government agency lets people go into space without warning them about the risks of sex up there. Nine months later, a baby is born with severe birth defects. So the

parents sue for damages. They also go to the media, arguing that they should have been warned. Surely that situation would do a lot more damage to the agency's reputation and cost them a lot more money in the end. Of course, once people are warned and informed, the burden of responsibility might shift. Consider a woman who knows the risks of cosmic particles to a fetus and gets pregnant anyway.

And suppose that a baby results with severe birth defects. Some legal analysts have mused whether the woman could be charged with a crime in this case for being reckless. If that sounds extreme, remember, we do charge women with crimes for drinking excessively or using narcotics or speed while pregnant.

And again, while we don't know for sure, space could be every bit as harmful for a fetus as those substances. So, that got a little dark there. I didn't mean to derail the episode with gloom. Overall, sex in space is a topic we can have some fun with, but we have to acknowledge the serious side as well. And in one sense, the very future of humankind could depend on our knowledge of sex in space. I'm sure you have heard people say that the future of humankind lies among the stars, that will one day push outward to other planets and even other solar systems, becoming an interstellar species.

I've always hoped so. It's such a stirring vision. But other celestial bodies are really, really hard to get to. Even reaching another planet or moon in our solar system will require confinement for months, if not years. That's stressful on the body. It's also a huge psychological strain. Well, do you know what a great stress reliever is? Come on, sex.

Sex relieves stress and improves your mood. It also helps you sleep. Sleep is hard enough in space, especially during high-pressure missions. And for men at least, ejaculating helps flush potentially harmful bacteria from the prostate gland. Denying a crew the chance to have sex would undermine their health and undermine the mission. In addition, consider trips to other stars.

Those trips will take decades, perhaps centuries. Maybe we can cryogenically freeze ourselves or grow babies without belly buttons in test tubes. but it would probably be easier to just reproduce along the way. Biology is pretty advanced technology. It's hard to top it with pipettes and incubators. And besides, what joy is there in reproducing with machines? Making babies the old-fashioned way will always be more fun. And the future of life beyond Earth could depend on taking that fun seriously. This is the Disappearing Spoon podcast. If you like the show, please subscribe, leave a five-star review, or tell friends and family. Reviews, subscriptions, and word of mouth really do help. Also, please support the show at patreon.com

slash disappearing spoon. It costs as little as seven cents per day for ad-free shows. You can also get bonus episodes and signed books. You can find more incredible stories in my books. Check out Samkeen.com. You can also inquire about booking me as a speaker at your school or event. This episode was written, edited, and produced by me, Sam Keen.

Thanks for listening.

The Birds and the Bees and the Astronauts

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