Old Time Radio Snack Wagon Smorgasboard #3 (EP5070e)

0:03 From Boise, Idaho, this is your.

0:07 Host, Adam Graham.

0:32 This week, we're presenting our third Old Time Radio Snack Wagon smorgasbord. The Old Time Radio Snack Wagon is a series of short old time radio programs or excerpts from programs featuring interesting and unique bite-sized snackable old time radio programs. This is a sample of four episodes from our third season.

0:58 We are currently releasing our seventh season over at snackwagon.net. If you enjoy what you hear today or are curious, you can subscribe at snackwagon.net. With that said, please enjoy these old-time radio snacks. Today's snack is in honor of an observance here in the United States that most people probably haven't heard of. In December 1952, President Truman signed a bill designating September 17th as Citizenship Day. Previously, the celebration had been known as I'm an American Day and was celebrated in May. While you can find plenty of snacks that are suitable for Christmas or Thanksgiving, Citizenship Day is a bit more challenging. It's rare to find something that really celebrates the idea of citizenship and what every

1:57 citizen means to the U.S., both old and new. I was recently listening to an episode of the Family Theater, and one particular segment really screamed to me that this would be something that was appropriate to share for Citizenship Day and make a great snack. Family Theater was a dramatic program that aired over Mutual for ten and a half years. It was a non-sectarian anthology drama series that was based on the idea of promoting family prayers. While usually the program was self-contained, this episode was an exception as an honored American Holmes past and present with a series of short sketches and songs. So here, from February 14th, 1951, is an excerpt from the episode, Treasury of Holmes. Treasury

2:48 of Holmes.

3:03 There's a wonderful phase of our national life that delights all Americans, from the age of three to three score and ten. It's about the days when you couldn't go house hunting with the aid of the wartheads or the real estate brokers. The young and restless, the seeking, striving, progressive spirit of America is strong in us still. If you don't believe it, just try to switch off that television when a western is on. Or just try to get down your own street tomorrow morning without being held up by a miniature Hopalong Cassidy, Buck Jones, or Tim McCoy. Oh, it's breadiness, this love of the open, this thrill of pioneering and discovery. It's the period of our history we call West Ring. The settling of America by men and

3:49 women of great faith and simple wisdom. It is to them we can trace another source of our strength as a nation. A toughness of moral fiber. a strength of the spirit as well as a strength of blood and bone.

4:16 It's sun up, Sarah.

4:17 You ready?

4:18 Henry Simmons, you know I'm ready. Has there ever been a morning when you haven't said that?

4:23 Well, put the kids up then. Let's get going. All right, Madeline, up you go.

4:27 Now you, Jimmy boy.

4:29 I'm ready, Mother.

4:30 Ready, Mom.

4:31 You're going back, Madeline. It's Jim's day to ride beside his father.

4:34 Oh, Mother, can't I ride?

4:35 Not today.

4:36 Now you, Sarah. Up you go. Get up there, Pete, Molly, Zap, Dolly, come on, come on. Let Madeline ride in front today.

4:47 Too, Sarah.

4:47 It was her turn yesterday, Henry. She'll be comfortable on the pile of blankets back in the wagon.

4:52 Oh, put her in your lap so we'll all be together, Sarah. Today's the big day. Today we choose our future home.

4:58 All right, Madeline, come on.

4:59 Guys, we had our turn yesterday. I've heard you say that before, Henry.

5:04 Twice before. Yeah, this time it's for keeps, Mom.

5:07 Back in that mind of yours is a compass that keeps saying west. Must be in your blood, Henry.

5:12 That's why we've never even.

5:14 Had but a sod house.

5:15 Now, easy now, Sarah.

5:16 And that's why you've kept this big wagon and all the horses. Well, you know Molly and Zeb's more than we ever need, except for rough traveling like this.

5:23 Well, things are different now, Sarah. Kids are growing up. Ain't too far to be looking ahead when they'll be needing their own land. Now's the time to get it. And we'll build this time, Sarah. Sartain sure we'll build a real house.

5:38 Oh, oh, there. Oh, oh, boy.

5:50 Oh, there.

5:51 Oh, yeah.

5:52 Well, Sammy, what do you think? If this suits you, the Simmons have a new address.

6:01 What do you say? Land enough for us and several generations of us.

6:06 What do you think?

6:07 I'm thinking, Henry.

6:08 Well?

6:09 My father used to say there was three rules for picking out a home.

6:13 Yeah?

6:13 Name them.

6:15 None of them apply here.

6:16 I'd like to hear them just the same.

6:18 First rule, he says, was pick a home inside of a church steeple, because God comes first. Then make certain there's a schoolhouse nearabouts. Third's most people's first rule.

6:30 Water.

6:30 Well, all we have now is the water. That's a fairer mile away, looks from here. But I can ditch it in nicely come time.

6:36 What about the church steeple?

6:38 The school?

6:39 They'll come, sir.

6:40 They're bound to come. We's the first people to arrive, that's all. Besides, land about here is pretty enough to be a church vest.

6:49 vestry.

6:49 You mean vestibule.

6:51 Well, I guess I do, if that's the way you pronounce it. And if it means the front end of the church, the beginning. I'm meaning to say God's here for us, that's sure. All this is his handiwork. Church building will come later.

7:06 What about the school for Madeline and Jim?

7:08 It'll come, Sari. Someday we'll have a town here.

7:12 Maybe a city, even.

7:13 Oh, Henry Simmons, for a fact, you're the greatest optimist I've ever seen. Where others see a puddle or a birdbath, you see the ocean. Where others see a blueberry bush, you can see a forest. Maybe it's better that way than t'other.

7:27 Sure, Tess Harry.

7:29 Just look at this wide-open rangeland, the whole sweep of it, and fill the picture in for yourself.

7:35 Oh, I sees land, far as I can look.

7:37 Pretty enough with rocks and.

7:39 Brush, but.

7:40 Don't you see the cattle and wheat and your church steeples and loads of things?

7:45 Not yet, I don't. Only wilderness.

7:47 Same as since when we started.

7:49 Then I'd better start filling in that picture. I'll unload my tools right now. This afternoon I'll begin on the sod house. Temporary, mind you. But you just start watching and waiting and dreaming.

8:01 Watching and waiting and dreaming and working.

8:16 These are the things that go into the building of a home and a nation. Oh, material things, too. Brick and wood and mortar, land and taxes. For the true American.

8:28 Is a realist.

8:29 The hard-headed yank, they called him in the early days. But he's a realist in the good way. It's his head that's hard, not his heart. His heart has always been pliant enough to stretch out and embrace the needs and the dreams of the world. And herein lies another source of our strength as a nation. From the days of the Mayflower down to today or yesterday or the day before, when Tony DeLuca and Inar Jensen got their final nationalization papers, we have drawn strength from the solid stock of the old countries, from those who had the courage and the will to seek to share our way of life, our freedoms with us. And so they have thrown in their lots with ours. Our songs of earlier days evoke different memories in them, and we are the richer,

9:28 for we are co-heirs with them of their strengths and their.

9:32 Hopes and their prayers and their dreams.

9:35 ¶ ¶.

9:47 My land was the Westland, my home was on a hill. I never think of my land, but it makes my heart to thrill. I never smell the west.

10:03 Wind that blows.

10:05 The golden skies. But all desire is in my feet, and dreams are in My home crowned a highland, it had a stately grace. I never think of my land, but I see my mother's face. I never think of my mother's face. That blows the silver ships But all delight is in my heart And youth is on my lips My land was a highland My house was near the skies I never think of my land, but a light is in my eyes. I never smell the west wind that blows the summer rain. But I am of my mother's need.

11:51 Welcome back.

11:52 Great song sung by John Charles Thomas. The title is The Homeland. This clip offered a really good juxtaposition that highlights people in very different situations, but nevertheless links them. In this way, it's really appropriate for Citizenship Day, as it honored all American citizens, whether they were born here or...

12:20 or immigrated and all that they contribute to the United States. This week, we're serving up an episode of a series that many people enjoyed and that I've been meaning to serve again. Other plans have gotten in the way, but now we're going to bring you another episode of Family Doctor. From 1937, here is episode three, Error in Diagnosis.

12:50 Hello there. This is the family doctor.

12:54 The End.

13:19 THE END.

13:39 Thank you. Good luck. Dr.

14:25 Adams!

14:25 Hello. Oh, howdy there, Griff Miller. Going up to your office, are you? Yes, sir. Anything I can do for you?

14:30 Well, no, I don't rightly know. I reckon it's all right to be up to you.

14:34 Well, I guess you're right, Griff. Well, come on up.

14:38 It's as young as it used to be. The stairs are going to tuck me out.

14:42 Well, I guess there isn't any hurry. We can take them slower. How's business at the boathouse, Griff?

14:49 Oh, tolerable for this time of season, I reckon, but.

14:51 Threateners, hell, this is going to be the last.

14:53 Yep, the last.

14:54 What? No, Geister, Friday, Griff, you've got a long time to live yet. Yep, you're right, Doc.

15:00 It's just the trouble.

15:00 What do you mean?

15:02 Oh, there ain't nothing nobody can do about it. Just have to let it go, I guess.

15:06 Oh, there's Lawyer Bates coming down the stairs.

15:09 Howdy, Ralph.

15:09 Yeah, howdy. Oh, now, what do you suppose is threatening Ralph Bates?

15:14 What say?

15:14 I said, don't you know Lawyer Bates?

15:16 Oh, yes, yep, I know him all right.

15:18 Well, you didn't speak to each other.

15:19 That's right, nope. We didn't speak to each other, no.

15:24 Step right in, Griff. Thank you.

15:27 Can I sit right down, Doc? I'm kind of tuckered.

15:29 Sure. It's right in that big chair. Feels good. Now, what seems to be the trouble?

15:36 Well, I'll tell you. For about a week now, I've been getting dizzy spells, sort of. Seeing the black spots in front of my eyes kind of worries me.

15:44 Take off your coat, Griff.

15:45 Yes.

15:46 Open up your shirt.

15:47 Going to cut me open?

15:48 No, no. I'm just going to do a little sounding. Griff, have you been doing any hard work on those boats of yours?

15:58 Well, no, not to speak of. Got to keep them in shape, of course, but I've been getting the Maynard twins to do the most of it. Pay them 25 cents an hour after school.

16:06 I see. What's that talk, Doc?

16:10 All that thumping around in my chest?

16:12 Oh, just trying out a theory. Now, Griff, when I place this stethoscope to your chest, you just sit there in a natural light and breathe. That's it. Uh-huh. What is it, Doc?

16:27 My, uh, my heart.

16:29 Yes, Griff. It's your heart. That's what I thought. Yep, that's what I thought. How old are you, Griff? How old?

16:35 Well, let me see. Well, I was too old to join up with T.R. and the Rough Riders in 98.

16:40 Well.

16:42 I reckon I'm past 70. That's about all I can recollect.

16:45 Now, you tell me the truth, young man. Haven't you been doing some extraordinary hard manual labor lately?

16:51 No, no, no, Doctor. I swear I ain't. The many twins have been doing it all.

16:54 Then you got something on your mind. Well, uh... What's fretting you?

17:00 Oh, Doctor, I can't stand it.

17:01 Well, tell me about it. You know, a doctor has to keep lots of secrets. I guess that's right.

17:06 Well, it's this way.

17:09 My daddy had that there boathouse up to Miller's Lake before me, and his daddy before him, Granddaddy Lice Miller, he discovered it.

17:15 We Millers sort of took it for.

17:16 Granted, I guess, that it belonged to us.

17:19 Yep, belonged to us. Well, doesn't it?

17:22 Well, this is Saturday afternoon. It belongs to us Millers. Maybe in the last, belongs to us up till Monday morning.

17:29 And what's going to happen then?

17:31 Doc, Dr.

17:32 Adams, I don't like to complain, but, well, truth is, I let myself in for a mortgage on the place three years ago. just in order to get some new canoes and some of the newfangled outboard motors, as they call them. Yep, there's a mortgage on the place.

17:45 And is the mortgage due now?

17:46 No, no, no, not that.

17:49 The principal ain't due for another seven years, but, of course, there's always the interest to pay. Well, I told you how business has been pretty good this season, but it ain't, Doc. Doc, it ain't at all. It's been, well, as the young folks say, it's been lousy.

18:04 And you can't meet your interest payment right now, is that it? Yep, that's it. Griff, who holds the mortgage on your property up there to the lake?

18:12 Oh, well, I don't think that makes no difference.

18:15 It don't make.

18:16 Griff.

18:17 Yes, Doc? Who holds that mortgage? Well, uh, Roger Bates. That's what I thought.

18:23 How's that?

18:24 Never mind. Now, Griff, I'm going to give you some pellets to take. I want you to take these. Just as you get up in the morning, and just before you go to bed at night.

18:33 Just as you say, Doc.

18:34 Two each time, twice a day. And don't you forget them.

18:37 No, no, I won't.

18:38 Reckless how they'll help or might, Doc.

18:40 Yes, they will. But they won't do it all. Griff, you've got to stop worrying about the boats or the canoes or outboard motors or the mortgage. You understand?

18:50 Well, yes, Doc, I understand. I know what you're getting at, but.

18:53 I said not to worry, Griff. I'm your doctor. You let me worry about everything.

18:57 Well, thank you, Doc. It's my deterrent, Edgar.

19:00 Well, I reckon I might as.

19:04 Well be getting back to the lake.

19:05 Well, thank you, Doc.

19:07 I'll pay you later for these here pills.

19:08 Yep, I'll pay you later. Well, don't you worry about it, Jeff. Just you take them and let me worry about the pain. And drop in again, say, Monday morning.

19:16 Well, thank you again, Doc.

19:18 Well, good night. Good night, Jeff. Well, baked. The old skin flint gushed up Friday. So help me, I don't think there's a thing I can do. Well, Ralph Bates, what in the name of good and bad happened to you?

19:44 How should I know?

19:45 That's what I called you for, to find out. Where have you been? Called you an hour ago.

19:48 Oh, well, you know what it is around the house Monday morning?

19:52 No, I don't know.

19:53 Well, let me take a look at you. How do you feel? Rotten. That's what I thought.

20:00 What?

20:00 Let me see your tongue.

20:02 Hey, what's my tongue got to do with it?

20:04 Let me feel your pulse.

20:05 Pulse?

20:06 All right.

20:08 Ah, just as I thought.

20:09 What is it, doctor? What is it?

20:11 Varicella. What?

20:13 Oh, good heavens, what's that? It sounds terrible.

20:15 It is. It's chicken pox.

20:16 Chicken pox. What did you say? Impossible. Chicken pox at my age. Impossible.

20:22 No, it isn't impossible. It happens quite often. Sometimes it's quite dangerous, too, in men of your age, I mean. Dangerous?

20:28 Oh, no, no, it can't be.

20:30 Well, that's what it is. I'm certain of it. Chicken pox. And that means I'll have to place you in quarantine.

20:36 Oh, yes, yes, of course.

20:37 What?

20:38 Quarantine? You can't do that. I've got business to do. This is Monday morning.

20:42 I've got a very important business transaction to take care of today.

20:44 You can't put me in quarantine.

20:45 No, no, Ralph, you mustn't carry on so. It's bad for your heart with chicken pox. Well, I'll give Pete May a prescription for you, and he can send it up with Johnny. Oh, by the way, is this business transaction of yours anything I can take care of for you?

21:03 Of course not.

21:05 No small-town doctor has enough brains to take care of anything. I just lose it, that's all. Well, maybe he won't be able to raise it today. Let's hope so anyway.

21:14 Yeah, yeah, that's of course. Well, I'll drop around again this evening, Ralph. I'll see you then.

21:20 Chicken pox at my age. It's preposterous. That's what it is. Preposterous, I say.

21:34 Let me see. Let me put this sign right here, I guess.

21:39 And there we are. Nice and yellow.

21:45 Quarantine.

21:56 Now then, Griff, how have you been.

21:59 Feeling over the weekend?

22:01 You look a lot better.

22:03 Well, I feel better, Doc.

22:06 Well, that's good.

22:06 You haven't raised the interest on the mortgage yet, have you?

22:10 No, no, I ain't.

22:26 I thought while I was up here I'd drop in on Lawyer Bates and tell him he might as well take the place over.

22:32 Lawyer Bates won't be in his office today, Griff.

22:35 Oh, he won't?

22:35 No, no, he won't be down. How much was that interest payment, Griff?

22:41 $ 73.

22:41 47.

22:41 Mm-hmm, I see.

22:41 Just a minute. There you are, Griff. What's this, Doc?

22:57 A prescription?

23:00 Why, no. It's a check.

23:02 A check for $ 75.

23:03 I'm taking a lien on your new canoes and motors, Griff. Take that check down to the bank right away. Get Judge Windsor to apply it against Ralph Bates' interest claim. And then go on back to the lake and take a rest. I can't do this, Doc. I can't. Listen, young man. Didn't I tell you last Saturday to let your doctor do the worrying for you? Oh, Doc.

23:24 How can I thank you?

23:25 Say, by the way, Griff, haven't you got a lot of poison oak up there around Miller's Lake?

23:31 Poison oak?

23:32 Law me doctors, there's tons of it.

23:35 Wish I could get rid of it. Get rid of it? You'd better not, Griff. It may come in handy again sometime.

23:58 Crack Adam, what do you mean, leaving me all alone in this house all day without anybody to take care of me with that plagued yellow sign out there on my front stoop?

24:06 Now, now, Ralph, I told you to keep yourself calm. Let me take a look at you.

24:11 All right.

24:13 There seems to be a little change. Change?

24:15 Mm-hmm.

24:16 It doesn't look like chicken pox this evening.

24:18 What? What do you mean? What is it?

24:19 It looks like poison oak.

24:21 Poison oak. You let me stay here. Let me out of here. I've got to find Sam Windsor. I've got to foreclose that mortgage. Mortgage?

24:29 Say, that reminds me. I saw Griff Miller this afternoon, just after the bank closed.

24:34 Griff Miller?

24:35 Yeah. Told me he just paid the interest on his mortgage. Felt pretty spry about it, too.

24:41 Then... Then it's too late.

24:44 Say, by the way, speaking of your poison oak, Ralph, they tell me there's a lot of it up around Miller's Lake. You don't suppose that's where you caught yours, do you? Sort of surveying around the lake?

24:57 Grant Adams, you old fox. You did that to me a purpose.

25:01 What do you mean, Ralph?

25:03 You made me think I had that plagued chicken pox just to give Griff Miller time to pay off that interest.

25:09 You knew all the time I didn't have chicken pox.

25:11 Ralph, don't you realize you're scandalizing my professional ethics?

25:15 Professional ethics?

25:17 You're a doctor, Grant.

25:18 And as such, you're bound to treat human ills. I guess you just can't help treating some of the mental ills of us humans along with the physical ones.

25:26 Oh, now.

25:27 I know I'm right.

25:27 I can see it in your eyes. Grant Adams, God bless you for it.

25:34 THE END.

26:03 THE END Thank you. This is the family doctor.

26:46 I'll be in to see you again right soon.

26:48 Goodbye.

27:20 Welcome back. It might seem a little odd for Griff not to know when he was born or be able to guess his exact age. However, he was around 70, and that would put his birth date sometime in the 1860s. And depending on where he was born, particularly if it was a rural area or his family immigrated from another country, an exact birth date might not be known or birth certificate might not even have been issued. Doc Adams used a bit of trickery to achieve a just result. Today, he would probably get sued for that. But this gives us an insight into the cultural image of the country doctor.

28:10 The idea was that the country doctor represented not just a medical service provider, but a community elder who cared for the whole community. Indeed, Doc Adams is talked about as the main doctor in town, and he'd have relationships with people of all classes and distinctions. Of course, even if he was sneaky, it's hard to fault him much.

28:36 Lawyer Bates even admitted he'd stopped him from doing the wrong thing. The amount of interest that Griff owed amounts to less than $ 2, 000 in today's money. Taking the livelihood and family business of an elderly man with no other means of support during the midst of hard economic times would have been a sure sign of extreme greed. a disease Doc Adams was happy to treat. Today, we're serving up a bit of New Year's drama from the series Guest Star, which we've already played an episode of this season.

29:14 This episode originally aired December 26, 1948, and the sketch is entitled Time is Sacred.

29:31 The United States Savings Bonds Division presents Guest Star.

29:38 Guest Star.

29:50 How do you do, ladies and gentlemen? This is Jeff Barker, your host for Guest Star. A transcribed feature program brought to you by this station and United States Savings Bonds as a public service. With it, we bring you this suggestion, that in the new year, you decide to make it a secure year through the regular purchase of United States Savings Bonds. Today's guest is the beautiful star of Culver Productions, Miss Joan Leslie. We will present her to you immediately following the opening collection by David Rose and the Savings Bonds Orchestra.

30:21 Mr.

30:21 Rose's own composition is Holiday for Strings.

30:24 © transcript Emily.

32:03 Beynon Thank you.

33:36 Thank you, David Rose. And now, ladies and gentlemen, our charming guest. She is starred in Time is Sacred, written for her appearance on this program by Jean McCurdy and Margaret McKay. Here she is, Joan Leslie.

33:51 Joan Leslie.

34:06 New Year's Eve falls on the weekend, and so the old Treadway office building is deserted early, except for two people. Bill Cooper, a young insurance executive, and Louise Marston, a secretary in an office down the hall. Soon they'll be on their way, too, for now Bill is holding the door of the automatic elevator as he calls.

34:25 Going down?

34:26 Yes, sir. Thank you for waiting.

34:30 Not at all. We seem to be the last people on the 12th floor.

34:38 Or on any floor, I suppose. Everybody's getting started early on the holiday.

34:42 Yeah, building's as lonesome as a ghost.

34:45 Well, no more work for two days. Thank heaven.

34:49 Hey, what gives?

34:52 What's the matter? Something wrong?

34:53 Power's off.

34:55 We're stuck.

34:56 Power off?

34:58 How can it be? There's an electric light.

34:59 Elevator motors are on a separate circuit, I suppose. Oh, it's probably nothing more than a fuse.

35:05 Fuse?

35:06 Well, who takes care of such things when they blow out?

35:08 Usually it's Mike, the engineer. He won't be much help, I'm afraid. I saw him at noon. He started on his New Year's celebration even then.

35:15 Well, let's try shouting. Someone might hear.

35:18 That's a good idea.

35:19 Let's yell together.

35:19 It'll carry further.

35:21 Hey, is there anybody down there?

35:22 Help!

35:22 Please help!

35:23 Get us out of here!

35:24 We're stuck in the elevator!

35:27 Oh, that's no use.

35:29 Yeah.

35:30 You don't think there's much chance for us to get out right away, do you?

35:33 Oh, of course there is. Someone's sure to notice the indicator on the first floor.

35:37 Which means that we aren't likely to be found until Monday morning.

35:41 Well, it could be that bad.

35:45 Well, it probably won't kill us. But it won't be very comfortable either, especially without water.

35:51 We'd better keep off that subject. It makes you thirsty just to talk about it.

35:56 Well, all right, if you insist on playing ostrich... You might stay in character long enough to supply us with a nice egg for breakfast.

36:03 You know, you... Well, you're okay. Most girls would be hysterical about now instead of taking it in good humor.

36:09 Well, I'd say that good humor is essential. If we, who only had a nodding acquaintance up to now, are going to be kept here together for a whole weekend.

36:17 It's too bad you had to work late.

36:20 There really wasn't any reason for it. Except that I took three hours off yesterday and had to make up for it tonight on the time clause.

36:27 Are you kidding? A time clock in a little office like yours?

36:30 Silly, isn't it? To have one for just the two of us. The boss and myself. But we have one. And he checks and rechecks our time cards religiously.

36:38 How come you workers are such a screwball?

36:40 Oh, he's all right, I guess. He just has a kink about time. Time is sacred, he says. I'm going to write Ripley about him someday. He's probably Father Time himself come back to Earth.

36:51 Oh, I'll bet he's the one who told me it takes one minute and 38 seconds to make the trip to the 12th floor.

36:56 It couldn't be anyone else.

36:57 Mr.

36:58 Elmo Middleton, certified public accountant.

37:01 Well, say, isn't there somebody outside the building who'll miss you and start looking for you? Boyfriend, maybe?

37:09 No, no, I'm new in the city. Haven't met many people up to now.

37:13 That makes us even on the date situation. I just had a fight with my girl. Well, we might as well have a date and celebrate our New Year's Eve right here.

37:23 I hope we like the floor show. What time is it?

37:32 About 11 o'clock. Hey, don't you think it's a little stuffy in here?

37:36 Yes.

37:37 What can we do about it?

37:38 Oh, that's simple. I'll just break through that overhead skylight.

37:41 Oh.

37:42 Look out for falling glass.

37:43 Oh.

37:47 But it doesn't improve the view very much. All you can see is the top of the shaft and the cables.

37:52 Cables?

37:53 What about the cables?

37:54 Oh, nothing.

37:55 Nothing. I just said there's nothing to see up there.

37:58 Oh, um.

37:59 Don't you think we'd better try and get a little rest? We may be here a long time.

38:04 You.

38:06 Know.

38:13 Hey, what are you standing up for? You're supposed to be sleeping.

38:16 I did sleep, Bill. Nearly an hour. Then the sound of those whistles and horns woke me up.

38:21 Oh, yeah. Not quite time yet. Somebody's watch must be fast.

38:26 Bill, I saw the cable.

38:28 Oh, I'm sorry. I hoped you wouldn't notice.

38:35 Better I did, I think. How long have we got?

38:39 I don't know, Louise. I'm not more afraid than when I looked before us.

38:45 10 or 11 stories is a long drop.

38:51 Yeah.

38:53 They were going to get new cables the first of the year.

38:57 The first of the year. Time for a beginning anew. New accounts for Mr.

39:02 Middleton.

39:04 New cables. New resolutions. I wonder where we'll begin a new bill. In some other world, perhaps.

39:14 I hope when we get there they'll have a Better language to help me tell you how much I love you, Louise. Oh, I know it startles you, but it's true. Just since we've been here together.

39:24 No, I'm not startled, Bill. You see, I.

39:30 love you, too. It's just that we had to find it out quicker than most people.

39:37 I'd have told you sooner, back when I thought we had a good chance to get out of this. Anyway, I'm glad we lived long enough for me to tell you.

39:44 Hush, dear. Let's not waste time feeling badly. It's been short and sweet. Bill, my knees are a little wobbly. I guess it's a normal reaction. You see, I never faced death before.

40:02 Here, sweet, sit on my coat. Look at my watch.

40:07 It's midnight.

40:09 Happy New Year, darling.

40:11 Same to you, baby.

40:14 You know.

40:15 I'm not afraid anymore. I don't think I ever was, really. Because you were here with me.

40:22 Well, I feel surprisingly good myself.

40:24 No worries.

40:25 Just floating along through space, moving. Hey, we are moving.

40:30 The power's back on. We're on our way down.

40:32 Bill, what do we do? Can't you stop it? On the next floor, before that cable breaks.

40:37 That lever's jammed.

40:37 I think we won't stop till we reach the bottom.

40:40 One minute and 38 seconds. Will it stand the strain, Bill?

40:44 It's got to.

40:45 It's got to.

40:46 Oh, Bill, hold me.

40:48 Hold me close.

40:58 Are we all right?

40:59 Yeah.

41:02 Yeah.

41:03 Let's get out of here.

41:04 Huh.

41:06 One minute and 30 seconds.

41:07 Why, Miss Marston... What are you doing here at this hour?

41:10 Look, look, look, old Father Time himself.

41:13 Oh, Mr.

41:13 Middleton, happy New Year.

41:16 What's going on here?

41:16 We're not crazy, really, we're not.

41:20 You've just saved our lives.

41:21 I just said, well, goodness gracious, how fortunate, but how?

41:25 You replaced the fuse, didn't you?

41:26 Yes, you see, when I came in and noticed the indicator. And when it didn't move, after I'd pressed the button, went down to the basement and discovered the difficulty.

41:35 But what brought you back on New Year's Eve?

41:37 Miss Marston, I'm.

41:38 Afraid you'll never learn the value of time. My fiscal year begins at 12.01 a.m. and I'm late now. I have some records to make.

41:45 That's amazing.

41:46 Amazing?

41:46 Not at all, young man. Time is sacred.

41:50 Oh, you've no idea how sacred.

41:52 Come on, darling.

41:53 Let's not waste another minute of it.

41:55 No, let's celebrate. Happy New Year, Mr.

41:57 Middleton.

41:58 Happy New Year, Bill, darling.

42:00 Go out and wish everybody a happy new year.

42:24 And now a curtain speech from our guest, Joan Leslie.

42:27 It was great fun appearing on this holiday program for savings bonds. I do hope you enjoyed our little play. And I hope, too, that the new year will be a good one for every single one of you. You can help things along, you know, by planning ahead, by saving for those sudden emergencies which all of us encounter once in a while. And the best way to save is to invest regularly in United States savings bonds. They're a perfect combination of safety and profit, backed by your governments.

42:56 So this year, buy savings bonds and buy them regularly. I recommend them to you as an investment in your own future and in your own country. Goodbye, everybody.

43:17 You've been listening to Guest Star, a transcribed program for savings bonds. Brought to you at this time each week as a public service Our special thanks to today's star, lovely Joan Leslie, who was supported in the play by Barton Yarborough, Norman Field, and Jean Barber. Direction was by Louis Graff. David Rose conducted the Savings Bonds Orchestra. Next week, we have another fine show and another fine star, so be sure to tune in. Meanwhile, this is Jeff Barker saying goodbye with a reminder that automatic saving is sure savings.

43:53 Buy savings bonds automatically through the payroll savings plan where you work, or if you're self-employed, through the bond-a-month plan where you bank.

44:13 Welcome back.

44:13 A really fun episode and very dramatic. You've got romance and also a bit of suspense thrown in in a relatively short piece. I like that the eccentric boss provided the way out. That was just such a nice little twist. Of course, the way he applied his motto, time is sacred, was way over the top. But actually, that was the theme of the story, and it suggests a different way of looking at New Year's. I think often we have the model of the New Year's resolution in mind, where we look at our lives and we look at ourselves And we take a look at those things that we're not happy about. And we want to change about ourselves.

44:55 And certainly being better with money and losing weight. All those are great, if you can do them, which we usually don't. What the drama suggests is that New Year's is a time to focus on the big things that you want out of life. The career, the new business, the relationship, the book, the charitable effort, the education, what have you. And in this specific example, their relationship developed really quickly, but the story indicated that they already had kind of an initial attraction that predated getting in this elevator that they hadn't acted on or explored. But being in the elevator with that cable about to snap made them realize that time was sacred and limited, and this would be the only chance they had to really explore

45:44 the potential they had as a couple. And what the sketch suggests is that New Year's is a time to consider what you really want out of life long-term, and what's important, and to really make solid moves towards that. Again, that's the implication of the story, and I think it's a really interesting twist on New Year's. Of course, in deciding what to do for yourselves, your mileage may vary.

46:15 We will be back on New Year's Day with our special public domain record party. Until then, I hope you have a safe and happy New Year. Today, we're serving a sample of the work of radio legend Orson Welles. Welles had a long, winding career path with numerous highlights and lowlights. There are many memorable moments and productions in his career as a major public figure. over half a century.

46:47 You can think of the radio series The Shadow, or movies like Citizen Kane, The Third Man, A Touch of Evil, or Transformers the Movie, the original animated one, as well as a few infamous commercial outtakes. We have all had our moments with Orson Welles. My first introduction to him was in The Muppet Movie, where with a few great facial expressions before delivering his single cameo line in the Muppet movie totally sold his performance that he was offering Kermit the Frog and company a standard rich and famous contract. Yet, if there was a time in his career where Wells was The most interesting and the most innovative, I would say it was in those early days of the Mercury Theater.

47:42 It began as a traditional stage company in 1937. But in July 1938, CBS brought the Mercury Theater to radio with Wells as the star of every hour-long episode and also the director of a series that would... plumb the great works of literature for its stories and offer their own take on them. And by the way, Wells was only 23 years old. While the Mercury Theater generally performed hour-long plays, they did something a bit experimental for their fifth episode. They presented... three separate short stories, effectively cutting them into snack-sized pieces, which are just perfect for our podcast.

48:34 So we're going to bring you the first of those stories, this one from August 8th, 1938. Here is I'm a Fool.

48:44 I'm a Fool by Sherwood Anderson.

48:47 I'm a Fool by Sherwood Anderson.

48:59 It began at 3 o'clock one October afternoon. As I sat in the grandstand, the fall trotting and pacing meet Sandusky, Ohio. It was a good heart jolt for me, and it.

49:10 All came about through my own foolishness, too.

49:13 Summer before, I'd left my hometown with a fella called Bert French with two horses that was campaigning through the race.

49:18 Meets that year. Gee, it was fun.

49:22 We had Bucephalus, a big black pacing stallion that could do 209 or 210.

49:26 If he had to.

49:27 And a little gelding called Dr. Fritz that never lost a race all fall. And Bert wanted him to win. Gee whiz, it was fun. He got to a county seat town, maybe say on a Saturday or Sunday, and The fair began the next Tuesday, and you took your horses to the track and fed them and got your good clothes out of a box and put them on, and the town was full of farmers gaping because they could see you were horse race people, and you went into a saloon, the two of you, Bert and I, and all the dudes came and stood around asking questions, and all you did was to lie and lie all you could about what horses you had, and I said I owned them, and then some fellow had asked us to have a drink of whiskey with him, and Bert

50:06 had lead him on.

50:10 What was that you said, sir?

50:11 I asked you, gentlemen, if you'd have a drink with me.

50:13 Oh, well, all right.

50:14 I'm agreeable to a little nip. Tell you what I'll do, sir.

50:18 I'll spit a quart with you.

50:20 All right.

50:24 Gee whiz. That isn't what I want to tell my story about.

50:28 We got home late November, and I promised Mother I'd quit the races for good. There's a lot of things you've got to promise a mother because she don't own you back. I got a job driving a laundry van, and then, as I started to tell you, the fall race came to Sandusky. I got the day off, and I went. Had on my good clothes and my new-bound derby hat and a stand-up collar. I had $ 40 in my pocket and three 25-cent cigars and a drink of whiskey inside me that was bought me at the West House by a fellow with a cane and a Windsor tie. Gee, it was fun being on a track again. I looked around for Bert French, and there he was, standing around with his horses.

51:16 Hello, Bert.

51:18 Why, hello, Joe.

51:19 How you been, Bert?

51:20 Never better.

51:22 Say, you got any money, Joe?

51:23 Sure.

51:23 How'd you like to watch it grow?

51:26 Like it fine, Bert. All right, come over here, then.

51:29 I'll tell you something. Listen, Joe.

51:32 In the second race, the 218 pace, there's a horse I'm handling, Abadal Ben Hammond. There he is, number seven. That gelden's as fast a streak, Joe. Longs to a fellow called Mather in Marriott, Ohio. We got him marked at 221, but he can step in 08.

51:50 Gee.

51:51 In the first heat, don't you touch him.

51:54 He'll go around like an oxen hitched.

51:55 To a plow.

51:57 After that, you go right down and lay on your pile.

52:00 Thanks, Bert, a lot.

52:02 Have a cigar?

52:02 Why, thanks, Joe.

52:11 Well, sir, I went and bought myself the best seat I could get right in the grandstand. I didn't go in for any of those boxes. That's putting on too many ears. Well, right in front of me in the grandstand that day, right in front there was a fellow with a couple of girls. And they was about my age. The young fellow was a nice guy, all right. He had his sister with him and another girl, and... The sister looked around over his shoulder accidentally at first, not intending to start anything.

52:39 She wasn't that kind. And her eyes and mine happened to meet.

52:44 You know how it is. Gee, she was a peach.

52:47 She had on a soft dress, kind of blue stuff, and I blushed when she looked right at me, and so did she.

52:56 She was the nicest girl I ever seen in my life. She wasn't stuck on herself.

53:00 She could talk.

53:00 You know, proper grammar without being like.

53:02 A schoolteacher or something like that.

53:04 What I mean is, she was okay.

53:08 And then, pretty soon the horses came out for the 218 pace, and there was Bert's horse in among the rest.

53:20 What have we got on this side?

53:21 What do you say?

53:22 You know as much about it as I do. What about the brown one there with the long tail? Heck, ma'am, that mare couldn't beat a streetcar.

53:30 Well, they looked up kind of surprised. But they didn't seem mad. Anyway, I've done it now, and I might as well go on. There's a horse in this race, number seven, that's as fast as Streak. Abdul Ben-Hamed.

53:43 Is that a horse's name?

53:44 That's right. Abdul Ben-Hamed.

53:47 But look, don't you go letting on this first heat, because don't bet on him, because he'll pace it like a lame cow.

53:53 You see if he don't.

53:55 But when the first heat is over, go right down and lay a pile on Admiral Ben Hammett. He'll come right out and skin him alive.

53:59 Willie, really?

54:00 That's the dope.

54:00 Well, that's what I told her. Gee, you should have seen the way they looked at me.

54:06 Then you know what she did?

54:07 Gee whiz.

54:11 She asked this man that was with her, Wilbur.

54:14 Well, she asked him and there was a fat man sitting beside the little girl that had looked at me twice by this time.

54:19 I had heard both blushing and.

54:22 What did that young fella do but have the nerve to turn and ask the fat man to get up and change places with me so I could set with his crowd?

54:29 I want you to meet Miss Eleanor Woodbury.

54:31 Pleased to meet you.

54:32 And this is my sister, Lucy Wesson.

54:34 My name's Wilbur.

54:36 I suppose it was their having such swell names that got me off my trolley. Then that girl. You know how a fella is.

54:45 Something that kind of nice clothes and the kind of nice eyes she had and the way she looked at me a while before over her brother's shoulder and me looking back at her and both of us blushing. I couldn't shore up for a boob, could I? I made a fool of myself, that's what I did.

54:59 Glad to know you all. My name's Walter Mathis.

55:02 What do you do, Mr.

55:03 Mathis?

55:04 From Marietta, Ohio. Have a cigar, Wilbur?

55:07 Thanks.

55:08 And you really think this horse is going to win, Mr.

55:10 Mathis?

55:11 Then I told him all the smashingest lie you ever heard. I said my father owned this horse.

55:16 You know, boob and Adam.

55:19 It was supposed to be a secret because our family was proud and Never gone in for racing that way.

55:25 Abdul Benhamid, I mean.

55:27 Here's what I think of that horse, Wilbur.

55:29 Will you do me the favor when you go down to place these.

55:32 30 bills on Abdul Benhamid at whatever odds you can get?

55:36 Just about there in the bell for the first heat come off.

55:39 Sure enough, Abdul Benhamid went off his stride up the back stretch and looked like a wooden horse or a sick one came in to be last.

55:45 See, folks, what'd I tell you? Like a lame cow.

55:47 You certainly were right, Mr.

55:48 Macy.

55:49 Then this Wilbur Weston went down to the betting place under the grandstand and this Miss Woodbury with him, and.

55:55 and.

55:56 Lucy Weston and I was.

55:58 left alone together.

56:01 Like on a desert island.

56:03 Gee, Miss Lucy.

56:04 Gee, I.

56:04 I'd like to show you our place.

56:06 Down in Marietta....

56:21 It's on a hill, a great old red brick house with a stables behind it, way up on a hill, up above the Ohio River.

56:30 I like rivers.

56:32 Her eyes were shining, and then she kind of, with her shoulder, you know, kind of touched me. Not just tucking down. I don't mean that. You know how a woman can do. They get close, but not getting gay either. You know what they do. Gee whiz, I began to wish I was on the square with her and to see what a fool I'd been, but there wasn't any way of getting myself on the square now. There ain't any Walter Mathers, like I said to her, and there ain't ever been one, but if there was, I bet I'd go to Marietta, Ohio, and shoot him tomorrow. And then Wilbur Weston came back with Miss Woodbury, and he'd gone and bet $ 50 on this horse, and the girls had gone and put in $ 10 each of their own money, too. Gee,

57:14 I was sick then, but came out okay. Ben Adams stepped the next three heaps like a bushel of spoiled eggs going to market before they could be found out.

57:22 There he goes!

57:26 Look at him, Mr.

57:26 Mavis!

57:27 Look at him coming up!

57:28 Abdel Ben Hamid! Abdel Ben Hamid!

57:30 There he is!

57:32 Coming up! Abdel Ben Hamid!

57:35 Mr.

57:35 Mavis is going to win! He's going to win!

57:37 He's winning!

57:38 He's winning!

57:53 Well, well, we all got nine to two for our money.

57:58 After the race, we had a hack downtown, and Wilbur stood us a swell supper at the West House and a bottle of champagne besides, and there was I with that girl, big boob that I am.

58:11 She wasn't saying much, and I wasn't saying much either.

58:15 One thing I know, She wasn't stuck on me because of the lie about my father being rich and all that.

58:21 There's a way, you know. Crap so mighty, there's a kind of girl you see just once in your life.

58:25 You don't get busy and make hay, then you're gone for good, and all you might just as well go jump off a bridge, because what it means is you want that girl to be your wife, and you want nice things around her, like nice flowers and swell clothes, and you want her to have the kids you're going to have.

58:41 You want good music played and not ragtime.

58:44 Gee whiz.

58:47 Well, there's a place over near Sandusky across a kind of bay, and it's called Cedar Point. And after we'd had supper, we went over to it, and it launched just the four of us by ourselves.

58:58 What time does the train leave, Wilder? 10.40.

59:01 And is that the last train?

59:02 Yes, that's the last train. Oh, Charles.

59:09 Well, over at Cedar Point, we didn't stay around where there was a gang of common cattle at all. The big dance halls and dining places for yaps, and there was a beach you could walk along and get where it was dark.

59:24 We went there.

59:26 She didn't talk hardly at all. And neither did I. I was thinking how glad I was my mother was all right.

59:35 Always made us kids learn to eat with a fork, a table, and not spill soup, and not be noisy and rough like a gang you see around a racetrack, you know.

59:42 That way.

59:44 Hey, Lucy!

59:44 Lucy, we're going up the beach a ways.

59:47 Are you coming?

59:48 Go on ahead.

59:49 We'll wait for you here.

59:50 I feel kind of tired, don't you?

59:55 Yeah.

59:58 Yeah.

59:59 I guess so. Miss Lucy?

1:00:03 Why don't we sit down a while?

1:00:05 It's nice here.

1:00:08 Lucy and I sat down in a dark place where there was some roots and old trees and the water had washed up.

1:00:16 Feel that wood.

1:00:17 How smooth it is. It's like silk.

1:00:21 Yeah. And there was a watery smell.

1:00:24 And the night was like as if you could Put your hand out and feel it. So warm and soft and dark and sweet like an orange. After that, the time till we had to go back in the launch and they had to catch their train was nothing at all. It went like wink in your eyes.

1:00:54 Lucy!

1:00:54 Lucy!

1:00:56 Lucy's needed Lucy I've got to go We've got to go to the train now.

1:01:05 Will you kiss me goodbye?

1:01:11 She was most crying then.

1:01:14 But she never knew nothing I knew She couldn't be so all busted up as I was Gee whiz Sometimes I hope I have cancer and die Yes, you know what I mean We went in the launch across the bay to the train like that. It was dark, too.

1:01:35 What are you thinking about?

1:01:36 Gee whiz. Only she knew.

1:01:40 You know what I was thinking? What? I was thinking you and I could get out of this boat right this minute and walk on the water.

1:01:52 Sounded foolish, all right. But I knew what she meant. Then, quick, we were.

1:02:06 Right at the depot.

1:02:08 There was a big gang of yaps, crowded and milling around like cattle and... How could I tell her?

1:02:12 It won't be long, because you'll write, and I'll answer you.

1:02:15 I ain't got a chance like a hay bar and a fire, a swell chance I got to answer her.

1:02:19 Oh, Lord, pull the hand up, get by, breathe, breathe, go and get it.

1:02:25 Oh, Lord. Yeah, and maybe she'd write me down at Marietta that way, and the letter'd come back. And stamped on the front of it by the USA, there ain't any such guy.

1:02:36 Something like that.

1:02:38 Never they stamp on a letter that way.

1:02:41 Bye, Walter. Thanks for the tip-off. Bye.

1:02:45 Bye.

1:02:46 Goodbye.

1:02:48 Bye.

1:02:49 Goodbye.

1:02:56 Goodbye.

1:03:03 When that train went, I busted out and cried like a kid. Gee, I could have run after that train and made Man O' War look like a freight train after a wreck, but socks are mighty.

1:03:19 What was the use?

1:03:21 Did you ever see such a fool?

1:03:24 Me trying to pass myself off for a big bug in a swell.

1:03:28 To her. Did you ever see such a fool?

1:03:34 I bet you would.

1:03:36 If I had an arm broke right now or a train had run over my foot, I wouldn't go to no doctor at all.

1:03:40 I'd go sit down, let it hurt and hurt. That's what I'd do, big fool that I am. I'll bet you what.

1:03:47 I'll bet you if I hadn't drunk that booze, I'd never been such a boob as to go tell such a lie.

1:03:53 A lie that could never be made straight to a lady like her. I wish I had that fellow right here that bought me that drink.

1:04:01 I'd smash him for fair gosh darn his eyes.

1:04:03 He's a big fool.

1:04:04 That's what he is.

1:04:07 If I'm not another, you just go and find me one and I'll quit working and be a bum, give him my job. I don't care for working and earning and saving it for no such boob as myself.

1:04:30 Welcome back. A solid story. While the language is a bit antiquated, the sentiments and feelings are things that many men can relate to. There's something enduring about that unique way that many men throughout the years have made fools of themselves trying to impress a young woman that really does come to and make it relatable. The mention of Cedar Point is of interest as it's still an operating amusement park. I remember seeing commercials on television for it when I was a kid, and my wife, Anita Buckeye, actually went there once. It's actually the second oldest amusement park in the United States and has been in operation since 1870. Wells put in a great performance. It's very different from your typical Wells Park, which are so often

1:05:22 these sort of brash and daring characters. but it's a fun piece of acting that does a great job of bringing his everyman character to life in a believable, yet somewhat humorous and amusing way. This concludes our current Old Time Radio Snack Wagon season. I hope you've enjoyed what we've shared. We're going to take the Snack Wagon in for a while and give it a rest, but we'll return with a whole new series of Old Time Radio Snacks on February 15th. It's time for me to close up the old snack wagon. But don't worry, we'll be back with another serving of old-time radio goodness before you know it. If you want to enjoy some of our longer-form podcasts, you can feast away at my website at greatdetectives.net.

1:06:11 Your emails are also welcome at adam at snackwagon.net.

1:06:17 The Old Time Radio Snack Wagon comes to you from Boise, Idaho. Your host is Adam Graham. Sound production is by Rines Media, LLC. You can listen to past episodes of the Old Time Radio Snack Wagon as well as connect on social media at our website at snackwagon.net. Email suggestions for episodes to adam at snackwagon.net. This has been the Old Time Radio Snack Wagon.

1:06:55 Until next time, goodbye.