SENT: The Emails, the Silence and the Trauma Nobody Talks About with Nicola Hughes

For many SEND parents, the trauma doesn't come from one big moment. It comes from years of paper cuts – small wounds that build and build until you realise how damaged you have become.
Today, Dale is joined by Nicola Hughes, psychotherapist, SEND parent, and author to discuss the trauma that so many parents face when battling the SEND system.
Nicola brings both professional expertise and deeply personal experience to this conversation. As a parent of two autistic children, she has fought for EHCPs, sat through tribunal, given up work to advocate for her children, and spent years sending emails into what often felt like silence.
Dale and Nicola explore the concept of systems-generated trauma – the harm caused not by individual bad actors, but by the policies, templated letters, and standardised processes that leave parents feeling dismissed, gaslit, and invisible. They discuss what it looks like when a school genuinely understands the trauma a parent brings with them and why statistics – OFSTED ratings, EHCP timescales, attendance figures – have become more important than the children they were designed to measure.
"I'm pretty sure nobody understands the depth of despair that some parents often go through."
— Nicola Hughes
An honest, moving, and at times quietly devastating conversation – essential listening for every professional who works with SEND families.
About Nicola Hughes Nicola Hughes is a psychotherapist, supervisor and trainer, and an accredited member of the BACP. She is known for her warm, accessible and deeply human approach to therapeutic work, specialising in supporting grieving, neurodivergent and traumatised families. She draws on more than fifteen years of experience across bereavement services, universities, schools and the NHS.
Nicola runs a private practice offering individual therapy, couples counselling, creative supervision and outdoor sessions from her much-loved Caravan Clinic in Pudsey. Her work blends creativity, nature-based practice and gentle, trauma-aware support to help people feel heard and supported. Alongside her clinical work, she develops courses and resources for counsellors and advocates for the equitable treatment of SEN families.
Her book, SENT: The Emails I Sent, the Silence That Followed, is part memoir, part guide and part survival companion, exploring Parent Carer Trauma and the hidden emotional toll of fighting for SEND support.
Book SENT: The Emails I Sent, the Silence That Followed is part memoir, part guide and part survival companion, exploring Parent Carer Trauma and the hidden emotional toll of fighting for SEND support.
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