The Most Insightful Apple Commentary

So I guess so that's it. It was nice chatting with you guys. I'm gonna head out because I think you guys said you were talking about Apple or something, which I know nothing about. So I think we're good. You guys got it from here and I'm gonna watch the show. I'm gonna love it and I'm really looking forward to what you guys are gonna say.

And that's the intro to the startup. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, sorry. Today with me, we have Casey. We have Trash Dev and we have TJ. We're gonna be talking about Apple and their release. Yes, I actually watched the video and I'm not gonna lie to you guys. I watched the video. I am not, I'm not an Apple person. I've never owned an Apple phone.

I own an Apple computer maybe eight, 10 years ago. I mean, I've been not in this whole Apple world. But after, dude, after watching an hour of, of marketing, I'm like, dude, I could own Apple. Like, look at that. Look, look how thin that phone is. I think I need a thin phone and I realized that I'm getting one shoted by advertisement. I haven't been on advertisement in so long.

I just, I just get sucked right in. I'm looking forward to a prime Apple arc. If that's a thing that's gonna happen in the world. DHH will cancel us prime. Don't do it. Do you realize how obnoxious I already am? Do you need, do you really want me to be on Apple? Am I the only one that uses Apple? Yes. I mean, I don't have you on here. I mean, I only use Apple because work pays for the computer. I would never wait. That's a lie. I'm like, I can't.

You were lying. I'm my own computer. I'm my own personal computer. Okay. I like trash. But I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not an Apple shell. Show me your, uh, show me your phone, trash. Well, I got an iPhone. Okay. What was that on your wrist? Oh, no, I got a, I got an Apple one. Oh, no, I got an Apple one.

What are the headphones? What are the headphones? Oh my God, dude. Oh, an Apple shell. Oh, no. Honestly, I didn't even like view myself as that until I looked around and, oh, man, Tim has cooked me. You thought you got one shot? Trash is already $5,000 deep. Yeah. Yeah. How much did we get? Apple shell under that, under that trash name.

And I use a magic mouse too. Nobody uses a magic mouse. That's the only one left you probably had. I love it. He picks it up and uses his thumb. It's scrolling on the internet. Hey, man. Trash. Now, beyond computer. I can't find this computer. Please. I can't believe it actually ashamed right now. I am ashamed. I'm so trash.

The people need to know this, this will seriously be the last draw if I find this out. Please don't tell me that you use Siri unironically. When I'm driving Apple CarPlay, I'll say that's different. Hands-free in a car is different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do it for hands-free stuff. I don't really do anything else other than that.

I'm a safe driver, so there you go. I don't use Apple intelligence. I don't even know what Apple intelligence is. Neither does Apple. You're probably using a trash. I don't think so. I don't think I enabled it. If I am, it's not doing anything. I think that's what they call Apple intelligence. Okay, okay. Roughly, you got it.

Okay, got it, got it, got it. So, yeah, I guess I use Apple. This is a great revelation. This episode's already over. I've never got that Apple watch. That's crazy. That's crazy. All right, and now we're done. Okay, that is the end right there. Thanks for joining us on the stand-up, everyone. You've been a great audience.

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Check them out at blacksmith.sh. Now back to the stand-up. I don't think that people know what they're talking about. Hold on, hold on. Yeah, you're getting too deep now. Especially from people like me who did not watch whatever this is. For those that are wondering, this is what they're unironically proposing everybody should wear.

They're like, and with your new iPhone 17 Pro, you can get the iPhone 17 Pro strap. The strap on Pro 17, whatever they're calling it. Strap on Pro would be a great name for it. I think you nailed it. Wait, Brian, is that what got you interested in Apple? I will find a strap on Pro. Look at this thing.

I know, just leave the strap on off for a second here. But look at this guy. He's going for a bike ride while wearing a European man satchel, except for the European man satchel is just a phone. Who's actually going to wear this? Okay, so this is where I think Apple dropped the ball. Not because they made the satchel.

Obviously, the satchel is great because they can charge a lot more money than it costs to make the shoelace to put that on. But what they're missing clearly is now everybody's going to have their iPhone out on display. So this is a statement. It's not really about the convenience of having it in your phone or not.

It's really just about showing that you bought the latest Pro. You know, like, oh, my goodness. Guys loaded, right? It's like you're flexing the watch. You got to flex the Apple needs to be doing something like they sell only a special case if you spent $25,000 on Apple. Oh, my gosh. Like the Aeroan approach.

Yes. And then I own bananas, but they have an Aeroan sticker on them. It's just like I have Apple. But this is like special Apple. Look, if you need me to help you with monetization here, you guys could be selling $1,000 cases to the Apple whales. Trash would actually buy one. Like he just wouldn't even notice.

He'd be like, well, you got to get one when you check out. It's available only to me. I'm not shilling or anything. I need an intervention. I need an intervention. What do you guys use? Androids? What are you using? Yeah. Yes, the other phone. We do use it. We're like a Google Pixel, right? Yeah. Is it the Aeroan?

I got a Pixel as well. Yeah. Is anyone on graphene? You're so bad. I don't know what I'm on. On random piece of crap that Google ships. And it's, I mean, the operating system. The phone is actually mind some motor role, I think. Nice. But don't you guys think that would be a good strategy for them? I feel like they're leaving a lot of money on the table for Apple users.

Well, here's the thing. You said that they dropped the ball, but they clearly didn't drop anything because they've got it attached to a little string around there. Great point. So the ball is, the ball is hanging from Tim Cook's net. It's still in play. Yeah. It's still in play. It's dangling near Tim Cook's waist is where the ball is.

And he just has to reach down and grab it. I would love to see Tim Cook wearing this satchel because there's, there's. He's going to. He's going to. Sales plummet after Tim Cook puts it on. Here's what I will say knowing nothing about any of this. And I would have liked it to remain that way. But unfortunately, I'm doing this podcast is that if this is of all the things, even the vision pro of all the things I've seen Apple do since Steve Jobs died, this is the one where I think he would have fired the entire company if he was still here.

He would have been like, I worked so hard and so long to like force everyone to make computing actually be cool. And you guys turned it into a frickin man bag. Are you out of your goddamn mind? Like, he would have, he would have thrown something across the, you would have thrown this iPhone attached to, so you would have swung it like a Bola and then released it at somebody and it would have hit them in the head.

And he would have been like, you're all fired. Get me someone who knows how to not look complete idiot in public. Is that the David and Goliath weapon? Yeah. I heard that the Satchel was getting regulated in the UK. You do have to register your Satchel. But I mean, to be fair, Apple did release the Vision Pro and how many thousands of people walked around even in the streets with their Vision Pro on ironically, like walking around.

We might be able to deal with European man satchels. Registered European man satchels will be through the roof. Like there is going to be so many people walking around with it. What a big podcast with a Satchel. It's just like a segue. Of course people will do it. But the brilliance of Steve Jobs was like he did things, he made computing into something that everyone thought was cool.

No one's going to think this is cool mass market. Like that's just not going to happen. Gen Z, dude. 100%. I think Casey, that's what I'm going to disagree. I'm a preacher. We'll have to revisit in six months. Yeah. But this is just like, people already do the Fanny Pack just to carry around their phone.

This is like Fanny Pack, but actually for your phone. Yeah, but you don't get anything. You don't get the bonuses of a Fanny Pack, right? But you don't. But you don't. You don't. And the Fanny Pack. No, they don't. They're credit cards. Credit cards goes on the phone case on the back. Fanny Pack is like 1% of all phone users.

It's not 50%. It's not cool. Nobody is racing to put their phone in a Fanny Pack. That's the minority people. Of course, a very small number of people will do this satchel. And everyone else will be like, mmm. And it's a mark against Apple's mindset, just like the visual pro was. Yeah. I thought you were saying popular in the sense not necessarily.

Because like Apple's not popular in the sense of like total number of people who have iPhones, right? Like in the world. America, they are. Yeah. In America. Yeah. Among people who are paying to be cool, they are the premium brand everywhere in the world. But that's what I'm saying. I'm saying I was.

I thought you meant like it will be popular. Like it won't be popular in the sense of like stylish. Like I think it will be the trend to do it, even if a lot of people aren't doing it. Really, I think you're wrong. Wait, what does that mean? I think I think literally four days into this. Someone's going to throw on their satchel, walk out into SF and be brutally robbed.

Yeah. Hundreds of times. That is literally not stop them at all. Why do you think they're going to change your mind about that now? Because now it's just that it's so out there. Like you don't like just walk around with your money hanging out. This one is your iPhone. And it's there. I've seen some teens car.

I need any clarification. What's brutally robbed versus robbed? Rob is where like someone holds up like maybe a gun to you and you like raise your hands and you sweat and you like throw your wallet. Brie Rob is like where you get pissed a whipped and like beat up and your stuff taken from me. Right? Okay, I got the visual.

One involves battery. Well, there could be worse than even what you're thinking prime. It could be that like someone goes to rob you and then just sees what you're wearing and just laughs on like you get humiliated by the robber. Like the robber thinks you're such a dork that they can't even, they can't even quite pull off the robber.

It's like our new anti theft device. Everyone will just start laughing at you so hard that they won't be able to complete the robbery of your phone. I don't know. When I think about that satchel, I think about San Francisco. So I think it's going to pop off there for sure. And we'll set our mind right now for six months.

I'm going to make I'm going to make a calendar event for six months from now and we'll revisit. I'm going to go to a tech conference and SF and everyone's be wearing that. I swear. I need you to actually go to like a tech meet up in SF. And three weeks from now, I need you to go get a satchel. Then I want you to report back like if you wear a satchel to other satchelers, come up to you.

And like, like, you know, like you're now in this cool kid club and so they're all. It's going to stand in the corner by myself with my satchel. I set a calendar event for myself a few months from now. Is apple satchel popular? We'll check back in. We'll report everybody. Report everybody. I hope the satchels can't get cut easily.

If you're just going to walk around with scissors and just like, pull your satchel out. You don't have sand? Do it in your favor. Yeah. It's true. It's true. They're making it cooler by quickly applying a pair of scissors. You can't ask for more than that. Here's one. Here's one cool thing that, well, I don't know if you want to like lead this, but I thought there was a pretty.

You're the apple guy track. You're the apple guy track. You're the apple guy track. Well, this is I think. I'm an apple show. Okay. This is for my health. Okay. All right. It's in a great anyways. The one thing I thought was super cool. It was about to do a sales pitch. I don't know. All right. All right.

I think it's the same lives. I'm not an apple show. But did you know? An apple show. An apple show. I used to be I used to be 300 pounds. Then I got the apple watch. Now I'm going to get to champion. I'm not an apple show, but it changed my life. I was kind of where I was going, but I did it. Okay. But you guys upikr, so the AirPods, which I have right here, there's a new one coming out.

They do the live translation. I don't know how good it's going to be, but like Casey, like Matt you have these on, you go to Italy. You hear people speak to Italian, whatever. And it does the live translation for you. I think that's like the coolest thing ever. So that's like specifically one of the things that I'm like.

I did. Now that's going to go great in France. Yeah, I did that. I did that. They're going to love that when the tourists come over there and they're like, I speak fluent French, thanks to my AirPods. Speaking of things that will get you humiliated in Rob did public, ladies and gentlemen, this is featured.

Apossiers to be on a roll. They're like, let's see what are all the things we can do so that people literally hate the users of our products. It's like one, make them think they can speak a foreign language using something that probably won't work. Two, let's have everyone wear like a little dangly string thing around them so they look like a complete dork all the time.

What's three? Is it like wear a hat, beanie with a cappella on top? What is the third product that they announce? Because I can't wait. Err, Kasey, the third thing is that now when you go to France, you'll hear how much they hate you instead of me. That's the way I wear her. That's the best part. Yes.

But I saw a couple things on that one. First, with the live translation, I really already hated so much when people do this move. What was that? Right, like I hate that so much. And so now to be like people going, grab in the grid, do double the stems grab. Can you say that again? I'm already going to be driven mad enough by that.

But on top of it, there's just no way, like, I've never met anybody on the internet that says translations are good. Every single time you've gone through any sort of translation service, people always complain about it. It's automated. But like subtitles are always like, whoa, it's way off. If you're doing these autos, you should turn these off.

That's number one comment on YouTube. Turn off the auto translations, because they're all so bad. And so it's like, OK, so how is this going to work in practices? Is it going to be even any good? And then I had one more item with the AirPods, but now I have seemed to forgot it. It was my fault. Well, big part about them all.

There's an additional thing about the translation, which is, are we sure it's doing translation and not old person translation? Is it possible that what these things are doing is you go like this and go like, where is the bathroom? And then it just plays your voice but shouting like, where is the bathroom is what comes out of the thing?

And so it's just like, it slows you down, slows down your cadence, and increases your volume. Where are you guys? You can probably do a self-introduction. You guys are all yucky by your own translated. OK, OK, I remember the other thing. There is also this kind of romantic funness. And this is definitely super.

This is definitely Silicon Valley to a team where they just believe they're super well-traveled and their life is like this traveling extravaganza. So they're like, you know what I need? I need to be able to just constantly be translating my heads and I'm like, what are you Peter Levels? Like, nobody does this, OK?

Like the average person sits in their town, 99.9% of the time and never interacts with anybody else that speaks different languages. At least in America, I'm sure this might be a slight different in Europe, but this is, it's just like, I've never met anyone that's just like, you know what I need. I need auto-live translating all the time.

Ideas sound super cool, never needed it in practice. I specifically want just to hear people talk shit about me. But not actually interact like you just go to like your favorite like, restaurant that's off like Chinese or something. It's like, this fucking American burger. And I don't think, I don't know if it works that way.

Because I don't know if it works that way. But I hope it does. So you won't actually hear who's talking because it does noise canceling like, reduces their sound. It's probably going to sound like asked when you're in a restaurant all that noise too. If anything, if it actually does work, it's going to make me not want to go to those places anymore.

So I do think that maybe the thing you're talking about prime though is at least, it at least continues the idea of Apple sort of trying to position themselves as premium and expensive and for rich people or whatever, right? Because it's like, oh, I just go to so many countries that I can't possibly speak all these languages, but thankfully my AirPods, right?

And so like, I'm assuming that the next feature, like there's probably going to be some feature that they roll out next time, which is something like, you know, it's getting hard to manage all three of your houses at the same time. So this new like, you know, my house feature that lets you manage your house in the Hamptons as well as your house in rural Japan will help you stay on top of all the maintenance items, right?

So they, you know, they could be just going for that kind of thing. And, you know, this is appropriate there. This is why all the agentic demos of like, oh, here's what our AI can do is like booking travel. Yeah, they're like, what? Yeah, that's the only thing you can do. What else do you do? That's all I do.

I just travel around and get people to give me money for hooking up this AI cloud to this website. Okay, so it did feel like your idea of the old person translate thing though, or just yells at you would kind of actually be helpful because there's, I just feel like I run into so many people who are big time mumbles while I'm out and about.

Like, I don't need audio canceling. I need it like audio boost, right? Where it says, it seems like that person you're talking to. I just don't like this all the time. I like, I need it. So when I go through Taco Bell, I can understand what they said in the drive-through. You know what I mean? Like, I have something like that, a previous release.

Yeah, that's what I need. I need audio boost, you know what I'm saying? Like, no, I did not ask for no ground beef. I asked for extra ground beef when I get home. You know, then you're devastated. Like, we, that's the feature I need. I feel like from the extra ground beef. No, I don't know. I just made something up off the top of my head.

Just going to go ahead and say that if they were going for the premium rich persons market advertising that you will be able to hear what happens at the Taco Bell is not a step in the right direction. But okay, Teej. Well, the Taco Bell is for the masses, Casey. That's an Android. What you're talking about, there is an Android feature.

The Android feature is which Taco Bell in my area has the lowest price on this item? Yeah. Yeah. And this is why we use Android. Yeah. I need my agentic demo of an ordering Taco Bell and getting the order actually correct. And then I get my meal. That's the Android demo of Google Assistant that we need.

Yeah. All right. I think the Android features are all the opposite. It's like, how to change find her. And stuff like, it's all features for people with no money. And it's like, I will say, though, the funny thing for this is Apple's acting like they're the first people to have live translated in the headphones.

And it's such a classic Apple thing. Trash is like, bro, that's crazy. Dude, they're going to live translated. How do you call them up? The Facebook apps, the sunglasses, the Rayband matters. They already have live translated in here. There's already a mass market thing that's already out, Trash. You're actually learning that from Beacon the other day.

I know. I was like, I've never seen anyone with the Rayband before. Pretty interesting. Well, you know, that really surprises me. Because if anyone's on top of great marketing and convincing people that they're cool, it's usually Facebook. I will say the Rayband's actually are pretty cool. Like, when I put them on and I heard like, it does that, whatever the bone jiggling sound is versus the other one.

And it just goes through and you hear stuff. Oh, it sounds great. It's pretty good. So is the Quest III. It's a pretty great VR headset. It's just meta is absolutely horrible at convincing anyone to use their stuff. Like, people were probably more excited about the Vision Pro than the meta Quest III, even though the Quest III's actually good, right?

My parents say otherwise. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, Kasey. Sorry. My mom thinks Facebook actually is cool. So I like it if you would stop. I used Facebook Marketplace all the time. Facebook Marketplace is the shit. Good point, Trash. Good point. That's how you know you've gotten older is when you say Facebook Marketplace is cool.

Like, that is the sign that you have hit a certain stage in life. I do scroll Marketplace before I go to bed. I'm like, anything local I can pick up that's on sale and he deals. Not even kidding. Trash, what are you finding on this doom scroll? Well, I'm trying to get a picnic table for my kids for the backyard.

And you know, I'm just like waiting for like someone that just doesn't want their picnic table anymore for whatever reason. I can like get it for like five bucks. Let me ask you what I'm hoping for. Trash, can I ask you how many hours you've been searching for? Yeah, I know. This picnic table is going to, this, this is five dollar picnic table.

It's going to end up costing like $3,700 in like hourly wages. I'm only doing it for like 20 minutes every 20 minutes a day. And I look for like a used jujitsu gear, you know? And then maybe some like, it's called amortization. He's going over, you know, he's, he's amortizing it across several products.

I got you. I, I'm just throwing it out there. Trash, maybe Netflix salary, not working out well enough. You have to go for a used jujitsu gear. I feel like up there's one thing that you can work in a new, you could be in one of those commercials that they do. Like it's like, there are people working at Netflix who can't even afford a picnic table.

Please give generously to the Netflix fund. Okay, my kids are going to draw that thing. For less than a price of coffee, you can help Trash get a picnic table for his children. Currently, they're just sitting on the ground and all of their food is filling out all the way to the ground. And they're eating their sandwiches.

You're welcome, Trash. We just gave you your nights and weekends back, buddy. This podcast has made me hate myself for using Apple, for using Facebook Marketplace. That's the funniest thing. My terrible person. Jesus. We're totally screwed this up. We, on the discord, it was like, Trash is like, I'm not supposed to be here today, right?

And I was like, no, we love you, Trash, come, come today. And then now this is how we treat him. He's never coming back. This is the problem. He's the star of the show and he's going to leave. And no one's going to watch this freaking show. What I wish we had done is that we have not made so much fun of the satchel and seen an inside bet.

I'm getting the satchel. I'm not saying I'm getting the satchel. I'm getting the orange iPhone. Okay. Okay. I'm getting the live translation, airpods. You bet your ass. I'm getting all wet. Okay. And I'm going to expense it. I'm scared. No, I'm not. I'm just kidding. Just kidding. Well, Netflix is so multicultural.

You maybe are testing out the subtitles with your, with your earpods. It's true. I got business case. Great. Oh, yeah. Actually, I suppose I have. Do they announce anything that is actually something at this? What did they announce? They announced something, but I don't think a lot of people caught it.

In fact, I thought I was one of the, like, the greatest parts of the entire presentation. Then, which was, which was how they tested the iPhone's scratch ability by exploding coin changes and having a very complicated lever move iPhones through the exploding change in breaking bottles and everything.

They, they, they set up the world's most intense testing simulation for scratch ability. Okay. That part of the video was cool. That part of the video. They're keep throwing me for these loops. So I keep saying, oh, they must be going for like the rich, high end marketing. Who has changed? What is this testing?

What is this supposed to test? That it doesn't get scratched. That's not a scratch. Casey, that's such a good point because how would your iPhone get scratched in the iPhone satchel? If you, you know, like, there's no change in an iPhone satchel. You shouldn't it be something like, oh, we, we set up a thing that like launches, you know, 1500 designer handbags from Gucci and Bulgarian stuff into the air.

And then we just like, there's iPhones and all of them. And we just like ram them around with like a bunch of stuff in there that's like meant to, you know, you know, like an entire full purse. And then we just like see what comes out. Like, what, what changed? What are we talking about here? How do we go back to Android use?

I like when they do, you know, they just have the machine that like punches a seat a thousand times, right? To make sure it's good. It should be like inserting it into a Gucci bag and pulling it. There you go. Like how many times does it hit the, it's a full Gucci bag. So stuff has moved an eyeliner.

Yeah, exactly. Like, and they should show it rubbing up against $1,000 bills. Yes, just like, I don't have change. But I might have like a few thousand dollar bills in my pocket. It doesn't like getting into your luxury car charging port. But there you go. Yes, you know, they could also do like, we wanted to make sure that your $100 bills don't get defaced by the iPhone.

So we also checked to make sure Benjamin Franklin's face was perfectly visible after our 10,000 insertion test. And then we have a lot of $100 bills right here. The BFD, the Benjamin Franklin degradation. Yes, yes. What's our BFD mark? We ran BFD mark on this. Is this for the screen? It is for the screening trash, yeah.

Here we go. Oh, my God, the biggest Apple user ever is this for all my goodness. That's funny trash. Oh, yeah, this is because I'm with the Vegas and I do. You're trash. Oh, that's the lead test. If that's not the opening of this podcast, then I quit. That is the lead of the podcast. That is amazing.

Man, that is ridiculous. I'm a stereotypical Apple user. Casey, I hear that they brought Matt Moll to the GPUs. Okay. Which apparently makes things much faster for various operations. For probably just AI unless they're talking about Matt Moll for, you know, for a full floating point or something like that.

But I don't think so. Assuming that they're talking about low precision, Matt Moll. I mean, I have to see the thing there. That's AI, right? So I assume this is for the Apple intelligence. The trash does isn't there, I guess. So I don't know what it's for. But let me actually check and see if it's enabled.

I don't even know how to use this thing. Because yeah, Matt Moll generally, if they have an accelerated Matt Moll, I mean, those are things to exploit the fact that you know the order of operations and a matrix multiplies. You can do them more efficiently. And so presumably they are just saying like we want to have AI run well on this part.

Presumably this is in the GPU, but I guess I don't know without seeing the the thing. I mean, GPU. It's in the GPU cores of the a series chip, whatever a series they're on at this point. 19. So on a 19, presumably the GPUs have this accelerated. Whereas I guess they didn't before. Yeah, that's I don't study the local model quite actually they said the word local model quite a few times during the presentation.

So my guess is that they're gearing up to be in some sort of like they're actually thinking about local models. But my guess is that because it's Apple, it's going to be like a wall garden local model. It's like a local model, but not really a local model. Oh, it's like we specified which local model you get to run kind of a thing.

Yes, yeah, local model got you. You can't own the numbers like they have to own the numbers. You can't own weights in a computer. That's very dangerous. These weights are licensed not sold to you, the end user. And you have to use them. Each weight was notarized by the Apple notary service. Tim Cook signed each one.

That's why they haven't released any new or interesting features. It's he's been spending all of his time signing the weights. Yep, yep. But what can you do? You got to make sure they're safe. So yep, there was actually I know we're kind of getting a little off topic. But Anthropic is apparently endorsing a California bill called SB 53.

And I believe part of that actually had some sort of limiting amount of flops. The bill currently decides which AI systems to regulate based on how much computing power flops they were used to train. The current thresholds 10 to the 26 flops. And they do some sort of like regulation based on flops. Are we on Super Bowl like 56 or something like that?

Is that how many flops are? We haven't a while ago. So mean it's the total number of flops that got executed through the entire training run? I don't know. That's not where he is. It was only one sentence which does does not make a lot of sense. I guess we could go look at the bill. But will LeBron still be able to play at the Lakers if they limit the number of flops in the state?

Or what's the deal? Oh, okay. He is. Oh my goodness. That's what exactly. I need someone to... Yes! I don't even follow hockey and I got that one. Oh my gosh. That was a great sports ball reference DJ. Thank you. Because if you haven't seen if you have not seen the clip of LeBron getting knocked over, knocked over and then doing this, where he peeks out and he peeks in the camera sees him and he goes, that's like all type of classic.

That's what I can do. Oh man. So yeah, I don't know. It will be interesting to see who cares about this. Because presumably somebody cares about this. I don't know how the AI features... I don't know how the public has been responding to AI features. Mostly the things that I hear are that people seem to be using cloud AI stuff a lot.

They seem to be like, oh, I lost my wife to chat GPT or whatever. It's like the news stories, right? Or like all the kids today just have all their stuff written by chat GPT or whatever, right? But I don't know like to what extent are people actually counting on AI run at the edge of something? Like to what extent have they been caring about AI running on device?

And I don't know. Like have people been adopting those features, generally speaking, that such that they they will care about. Matt Moll being on their iPhone. Anyone know? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure no one has Apple intelligence on. I'm pretty sure when it first came out, everyone turned it off.

I actually checked my phone. It was actually off. So I remember when it first came out, it was like trying to give me all these Bozo recommendations. And I was just like, this is stupid. So I ended up just turning it off completely. But yeah, I don't know. I did notice that that in the previous years, kind of like whatever they call this, I phoned a polluza that they were very heavy into Apple intelligence.

They mentioned it like 9,000 times. Yeah. This time it was much more of like just like a background hint. Like it was mentioned maybe like three more times than the Vision Pro. So I, which is three. And give I would I would just ask to combine that with the fact that like, I feel like Microsoft's like co-pilot PC thing did not go over well either.

Like I don't really hear a lot of people going like, oh, I'm so glad I bought like a Qualcomm Snapdragon PC because all the AI that I've been running on that TPU is really making me happy, right? So I'm just wondering like is this is this sort of just more of a forward-looking thing? Like look, we expect in five years to be at a point where people are doing this.

So we're just adding TPU stuff now because we just trust that at some point, we'll get these models either the, the, the, the, the RAM bandwidth and the on-device storage will be such that it's feasible to just run all of a modern model on the device or will get these devices down to smaller things so they run.

And so that we're adding TPUs to a 19 because really it's more about a 20 or a 21. Or are people literally like, I can't wait to use these AI features now in the a 19 because there's all these things I was doing on a co-pilot PC that I could do on my phone now. Like, does anyone have any idea? The only one that I've seen people be excited about for like on-phone stuff.

I don't know about in Appleland because I'm not right in Appleland, yeah. But I don't have Apple's friends except for trash. I didn't know like he, he didn't realize he was so we'll probably not be friends next week. He's like too cool for me now. He realized, you like your text are showing up there on color.

The only one that I've seen is when you can do stuff with like your photos. Like, you know where you can like magic erase something and like they disappear or like, oh I need to like combine three photos because my kids always look in a different direction every single one and so we can't line all of them up at the same time.

I feel like that's the only like scenario that I've seen people like, oh that's really cool and useful I would like actually use that. I don't think anyone's like, I really hope it can summarize my text faster. Like I really need my text to be summarized in 13 milliseconds or something like that because I can't read the text from my mom that says like, see you at 5 p.m. for dinner.

Are people actually using the combined three photos thing or they just think it's cool? Because that's my, like I agree that they would think it was cool. But I'm like, is anyone actually using these or does he just don't care? Okay, I've used this. So then in that case that that alone would probably be enough to justify something like this because if you don't have matmo you're not going to be running much of a model like really.

Like the speed difference is pretty dramatic, right? So I only know of it like on pixel basically and Google ships their own. So like Google is doing the same thing. Like Google is shipping like custom chip setup pipeline blah blah everything for their pixel line and then doing special stuff in it for like local or like on device like AI things.

Like Google now sometimes even will like it doesn't do yet but I'm sure it will like auto combine it already picks like it takes a bunch of pictures and picks the one that's like best where most people are like looking at the camera or whatever, right? And so like those are I think like actually you know people would use those and taking pictures is like a big part of why it's a big part of it.

Yeah, so that part that part makes sense. So it seems like that would be enough probably to justify this. Especially if it's something that you're expecting to happen quickly on the phone. Like you need an oil and oil also low power. Like another thing is like the more efficient you can do the calculations often sometimes it's not necessarily about how fast the turnaround is.

It's just like look we could do this you know fast enough just using the CPU or just using the existing GPU mode but it's like it eats a lot more power, right? And so that's no good because in your battery life stats look crappy. And when the reviewer goes and photographs this kids is like oh I lost all my my juice whatever so it's okay.

Yeah, so that's probably it then I guess. And then future like well maybe it'll be used for me else in the future who knows. Can I be the boomer about phones and just be like what's up with all the phones getting super thin? Can I just have like yeah I don't understand that. I just want a five day battery.

Is that so much to ask Tim Apple? Five day battery. What's the battery like the thin one? You can buy cases TJ that just make your phone thicker and are a second battery. Oh good idea I actually didn't even think about that. Yeah so why don't you quit being such a boomer and just get a boomer case? Well that's what I'm saying I already said I was the boomer about this situation.

I'm already yelling at the cloud you know so I get that. Well but you do have to ask the question is who are these thin phones for because everyone puts a case on it. So why don't you just make the phone thicker and have it be gripable and then we wouldn't need to do that. Thank you. An internal case would be really nice if because that's the test I instead of having this like silly experiment where someone spent like five million dollars setting up the perfect iPhone drop and all that can we just have something that someone just drops the phone a hundred times from like from nipple high and be like does does does when does it break how many nipple high drops of the average mail does it take for phone to crack.

Oh nipple heights the same. He said average average. He's going with a he's going with the mean world wide five eleven America. This is a mean nipple. He's asking for mean nipple height or m and h as it's called in human factors engineering yeah yeah yeah the m and h drops how many m and h'd be safer dude you should be happy yeah my phone my phone sounds pretty safe because we have a built in case you can't customize it people want to customize yeah yeah they don't apples like guys a big features would release the phone in orange this is not the light actually do not highlight orange as a specific feature teacher I heard it was because of the ship blew my mind yeah all right I don't know how to get orange

fuck this will be my favorite color it's ironically my favorite color I was like I'm showing up with that at some point I do want to see a 20% increase in m and h or in mn's drops yeah m and d's yeah before cracking like that's what I want to see yeah yeah what's like we we need uh so is it possible for apple to create a position that's like the nipple drop like like like nipple drop director of nipple drop experiments right like like how like there's someone who's going to do this kind of like like large scale testing for that and also they can do the Gucci handbag insertions or or g h i's imagine how $100 bill rubin apple would be able to make a sweet like really artsy make you feel bad about yourself unless you're an apple

user video of them doing those tests though you know what I mean yes I do feel like they still got the production crew those guys are still there they're still hanging out I mean it does feel like a little bit you know I don't know feels like versel stills kind of got them but they could put together a sweet video of the Gucci test station and they would eat that up apple tv plus exclusive as well it's like you have to pay to watch the apple documentary it's kind of like when Nintendo released this schematics of the Nintendo that you could walk around on for the Nintendo switch too but you had the buy it for 80 bucks or whatever it was and you're just like really I have to buy the the tutorial for 80 dollars

oh oh that thing yeah yeah yeah yeah I know it's time to do the same thing apple could do the exact same thing you want to see our premium testing it's a premium feature yeah all features are premium I'm buying it I'm buying it right now yeah you have to verify that you're a serious apple user you must have spent at least $50,000 on the store before we allow you access to this they could they could also have it so that like the only way to buy one of the really exclusive iPhones that we're contemplating is they won't give it to you they will only put it into a designer handbag so if you don't show up with like a handbag costing like at least $3,000 or something and open it they won't put anything in it like you don't get a

device until that happens I think they do that with Ferrari's you can't buy a Ferrari unless like you like comment what they're driving loves there's some yeah yeah trash or are you trying or something or what so trash in my dream I hate myself okay just stop talking to me I didn't actually try to go and I just heard yeah you got me my brother was messaging on the account sorry it wasn't me do you need a designer handbag to buy a Ferrari hashtag ask you for a friend all right well this is very important I'm very glad I'd spent a lot of time watching all the stuff on that Apple thing it doesn't seem like anybody else Casey was engaged in the Apple stuff Casey why weren't she engaged so I was told

and maybe this is just me you know doing some I realize it's frowned upon in the modern world but reading the discord you guys said we were going to talk about npm getting hacked for the 700th time in the past three days also I know I'm prepared to talk about that but guess what it turns out we're talking about literally Apple posting a fricking ad like we talked about an Apple ad for 45 minutes so that's not my fault I don't watch Apple ads because I have self-respect did you watch gpt 5 announcement video no okay because that that was so bad okay when I watch this Apple one I was just like this is something this is noteworthy we should talk about this competitively it was like the difference between the two

what did the gp what was so bad about this gpt 5 announcement video since I didn't see it hey guys prime here to talk about chat gpt 5 and then the graphs the graphs oh my first of all those graphs we treated they were just completely wrong like I know the deception graph the deception graph having a higher number look lower to be deceiving in a graph about deception was like it was it it was the greatest moment of life okay I I case you know my conspiracy theory about this though okay I don't I mean I don't you're gonna tell me okay yeah I will offstreet no okay all right all right no I'll tell you right here you never know it will might be listening exactly my my theory is open AI intentionally does bad and cringe announcement things because it adds to their mystique

as a nerdy company because they're like they they're just so full of nerds that are so in their ivory tower of magical AI that like when normies watch it they're like wow these guys all look like they could be on big bang theory that's crazy they're really smart and then they believe that the AI is magic that's that's my theory you might be running into a bit of a pose law situation there though is my only thing why is there so many laws you guys keep bringing up every day I'm episode there's a law so it's talking about why do you all know about these laws I got now I got the Wikipedia page full of every law these is just laws man pose law there are too many laws Murphy's law I like this trashes law which is when you think you've

learned all the laws there's another yeah trashes law trashes laws just why are there so many love I'm really going not really a law but that's okay I'm telling Chachi Petita Eli five pose law to me nice dude ask apple intelligence yeah Siri not it's your Siri hey trash trash my ask Siri what is pose law and let's hear it hey sir what's law here so here's a web result I bet you she remember series like five his statements right what we turn on apple intelligence I don't know trash we got to find out now though this is okay apple tell me I can't help you with that hey Siri can you Eli five pose law put it to the microphone it says search the web or try chat GPT are you see are you kidding me it didn't even it even talked to me it was just a screen are you kidding me it was just a dialogue

please use a different product it didn't even try it was just like oh no bro I don't know man it didn't even try yeah well there you go there's your answer but now I know it pose law is because I just looked it up on my computer I can't tell the difference keep on going so DJ you're hitting it into pose law well I don't have anything else to say I'm just asking if that was the case like I think what you are mistaking I feel like you may be mistaking a bunch of nerds who do not know how to make a video for a bunch of people who want to appear as nerd like it may be exactly what it appears to be I'll give you my evidence I'll give you my evidence okay see all right my board was real I would be drawing lots of connects yeah

yeah yeah do it I could you said conspiracy theory so I want something deep like this has to connect to Jeffrey Epstein or this is over this podcast is over dang it we don't have enough time for that all right all right I do have this whiteboard but I don't know where my markers what okay okay so here's my evidence here's my evidence one Sam ultimate is a known hype cycle chaser okay every time he goes on the internet he chases hype he knows and he's raised a lot of money off of hype that's fair remember the day before chat GPT five was announced he did tweet the death star yeah that's his least good one him going on reddit and saying AGI achieved internally in deleting it and other stuff like this and he's he is really good at it especially for I would

say non-technical normies who are reading it and they think he's this super genius incredible monster brain guy which like to be fair he's better at lots of things than me so maybe he is all those things whatever but so he's and he there's no way he's getting to the presentation and they're like oh we just didn't prepare and there's no like he is doing those things he's preparing those things he's getting ready number two you can watch the video where they did the like I owe announcement with him and what's the what's the ex apple guy designer guy always forget his name and then I want to bond joe v yeah bond joe v bald man joe v yeah that's the one okay that's why so watch that video they know how to put on a produced video that makes people feel a certain way

and gives you a certain vibe they made Sam Altman look human in that but who's the they in that sentence that's the open AI people are you sure it wasn't like joe v was there like hey guys you can't do any of this let me tell you how this has to be don't you think if they're doing like a huge billion dollar thing with him they're like saying like yo come over and help us do our big announcement for GPT-5 I just feel like you know I'm saying like within the company like when's the last time microsoft put out a video that made you think like nice like they just can't see well when you said last time you're suggesting that there was a time you're telling me developers developers developers alpha sigma male edits don't don't make you feel something personally I feel

like the windows vista rocks uh like Bruce Springsteen parody video is my favorite and so that's the one I would go with although I agree developers developers developers was was good as well so was the one where he said sit down but what is his goodbye speech where he sings I don't think I've seen that one oh there's also just a television commercial where he's selling windows and I think he says something along the lines of like can't get that you can't get windows in Nebraska and like that's the ending is that like they didn't shoot windows to Nebraska there's some sort of law in one of the states there's like no windows so uh my point being that company is unable to produce a video regardless of what collab they make or whatever they do and they can do it's an

open AI has made those things samultman is a hype beast uh and they have insane oh money now sometimes insane oh money means you waste it all and do something stupid I get that but like they could at least bring in like a prep team to help people do the presentation that's that that's my case Casey I don't know how strongly I truly believe it but it's just like pet conspiracy theory of mine it's weakened slightly by the comparison to Microsoft because I guess my counterpoint to that would just be that like explain Xbox like actually they did some pretty cool like the trailer for Gears of War that's a Microsoft game studios right the original one was kind of amazing it's like Matt it's the cover of Matt it's the cover version of mad world with the like exploding things

like that's Microsoft like they made that video right and they put on some pretty great uh E3 stuff in the early like 360 days uh so well then I take back my Microsoft argument yeah so so I guess I'm just saying like when we're thinking Microsoft we're thinking like the windows work and so I think it's very possible that open AI could be similarly that way like it's like maybe there is maybe when Joni comes over I don't know if it's Johnny I don't know how you pronounce his name bon Jovi bon Jovi when bon Jovi comes over he's like look guys this has to not be so cringey could you Sam could you stop sounding like one of the AI's uh and then when he's gone it just everyone reverts back to behaving the same way the AI does that's always why they're like

AGI achieved because the AI sounds just like them and they're like I don't understand it's exactly like a human no because other people aren't this way right yeah that's you know they're just like wait a second I'm wrong 20% of the time and I sound like this and they're wrong 20% yeah I mean this is AI yeah I've never expressed uncertainty in my life Casey that was extremely insightful yeah oh I'm just a form of fountain today I'm just a fricking fountain prime almost a form of Conway's law prime's laws when the output of the yeah I got these matches the organ which the gypides was developed in so you're so basically in my mind I'm just thinking open AI is basically that cruzam sketch where the guy is like hey I'm orange to long and I love the embarkadero and my

dog biscuit and the other guys like we improve the performance of the back end queries uh by 17% which which was above our target like I'm thinking it's that but you're thinking that they're like 5D testing it and they just want you to think it's that is that what we're saying I don't know if I truly believe it or not but it is my current favorite conspiracy theory about open AI it's it could be right it could be right it strikes me at least as a possibility because for some reason people forget open AI has like access to every powerful and important person in the world all of the capital that you could possibly imagine and then some and is heavily incentivized to try and make them appear to be the only place to go to get real AI like it is not it is not

that you can't get decently similar results by going to claw dot com or like you know like you can get some of the same experience but why is it that like nobody goes to anthropics website to ask questions to clawed no one says I'm gonna go clawed that or something you know what I mean yeah my question right like I literally called claw jippity yeah so my my point there's a huge incentive for them to make themselves appear to have some mystical some additional thing that's beyond matrix multiplications appearing at their company and if you ask normies like what what AI is they're just think that it's magic right so it's like that's that's why I think there is legitimately an incentive for them to like make this kind of appearance that they're

they're they're the elites they're putting on a show that they are the academic and the intellectual elite they're here to lead you to the promised land of AI we're the only people that can take you there okay we've gotten pretty far off from the main topic I do what we're talking about just yeah can we just bring up this one thing yeah here watch the presentation which one the apple presentation the thing we're talking about the whole thing or which yes the whole thing yeah yeah yeah I watched the highlights I watched highlights all right if you watched every last person speak they were all clearly trained by the same person because they all did this arms locked and they just did this and rested this rested this rested and they all

get it palms dude so much just did did they're playing whatever this of the accordion non-stop it was it was a dude is Trump Trump Trump started this Tim Cook's like don't worry Trump we got you back everybody speak like you don't hit us we get we got the thinnest phones everyone says it we walk into the room say wow that's a thin phone that's a thin phone but it was one that's amazing no one noticed that or is it just yeah start taking pictures of it because there's just so many of can you can we get can you post to your your x-feed like just a grid of of of a shot of each of the people in the presentation with their hands doing that I would like to see that I ain't watching this presentation again I said I tried to maintain some self respect gave it up a little company called

Apple before we go before we go so I just want to show you guys something so there's these popcorn things and they're they're like what is going on right now have fries but they're healthier maybe and I couldn't find these at they used to I used to get them from like sprouts or something but they're always they were always sold out fat to go in Amazon fuck it or the whole I had to show somebody I was like I was like I literally went to the aisle look for them for like the hundredth time and I was like I'm fed up with this busted open up my app and just bulk ordered something I was like I'm done with this anyway I just had to share with somebody I was really upset that food is I think the craziest thing you said in there was it might

be healthy it's comparative he said healthy or probably I think it's healthier than like the original hot fries and that blue metallic bag okay I don't know anyways check them out pretty tasty I said yeah no I just want to share my they're going to want to cut you know I just want to share it was fine listen it doesn't do this for free my man yeah so I actually got a split it with us at least I'm gonna do I'll bring some to the tower so you know I'm sure it's out it's pretty good very good I'll bring a box oh my goodness all right well that's what I want to see if if all of the things with trash from now on like somehow Pipcorn is like sneaking into it comes onto the tower is like oh sorry I would just hadn't quite finished my bag of delicious

Pipcorn yet so I finished just figure I'd finish it here if you're everyone go and tag Pipcorn right now on in an appropriate non-harassing way and say that they would be a great sponsor of the stand-up and we can have him send more boxes of trashes out yes we will get trash a lifetime supply of popcorn if possible I want that whole wall behind you trash to be Pipcorn bags to the ceiling speaking of which this wall is supposed to be decorated see that these pictures right here I bought these in January I'll sit in there I'm supposed to hang these up and I haven't done it yet so hey trash is that a peloton that is a peloton my mind doesn't even work anymore like I actually can't even ride a bike this is like an inverse ad not your inverse adding peloton this is not

going to give you more sponges is the single worst company in the universe don't I hate them since we said I don't know obviously I don't subscribe at this point I can't do it was so bad that I couldn't even do a free ride like they change their menus so you can't even free ride no that's what I do I do the free ride I know but it was now two menus deep and then oh yeah they need to change your account information when I change it say you need to pay and I was like I don't want to pay I'm not I just want to ride a bike and I said you need to take a ride and I could I had the bypass by quickly going faster than the loading and then I would forget to do that and then it's just quit working now it just doesn't even turn on now I just literally have a two hundred pound bike

yes so that I can't even ride can we hacks or the roms on this thing or something like I feel like there's got to be aftermarket flashable peloton by now I don't know I don't know that's a stream prime that is a stream series hacking my peloton make it happen dude that would do that's content that's hashtag content right there yeah dude at the problem is I just hate peloton the problem is I also hate biking so it's like well it's a reward for doing all that work yeah doing an activity I hate anyway there reasonable while you guys are doing hashtag ads I will point out I ran out of coffee yesterday and I have not been able to get to the store to get it and I don't know like I've heard that you guys have something that helps with this you try my special blend it's right I'm

sending you so I'm gonna send you some later today probably trash or later this week or just what is trying to bring it to a tower yeah yeah trash has some special blend which is what we'll show you at the trash blend hashtag ad ironic perfect I'm just the walking cash cow all right folks buy a picnic table for his kids I'm gonna buy one this week and I'm gonna show you a picture of it oh my god dude that's it like 10% of the pro proceeds of all hashtag ad coffee sales goes to try to fund trash's picnic table for his kids all right well this is a great stand-up thank you everybody for watching the stand-up I hope you also enjoy apple or you don't

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