Ay Por Favor: Ask Us Anything

With Alexia Napola and Marisa Patton an iHeartRadio podcast.

Hi guys, Hi everyone, Hi Amiga, come with.

Das Yomi Yang. I was so excited to see her face. I haven't seen it in a few days.

I know I missed your beautiful face too, and talking. But I know we've been really busy with our lives.

Sorry.

I love that I have this little time with you and we get to chat. He me out on Boco and ask each other questions.

We have a bunch of questions from our followers.

I love it, and a lot of answers.

I guess we're going to be answering all those questions that everybody wants to know.

So I remember the first time I met Todd, and I'm sure you remember the first time you met Steve. And one of the questions was what was our first impressions of each other's you know, now husbands.

So what was your first impression of Todd to Todd?

Todd I thought was really funny. I was like, this guy's really funny. He had like this New York vibed him and he would just like do these like I don't know, he just he was funny and he was quick, and I'm like, I like quick, I like funny. He talked a lot, he was very engaging, he was obviously not hard on the eyes, and I thought, this guy's really fun. I hope this is like, this works out because I liked, you know, hanging out with him and double dating.

Yes, well that was many years ago, because you obviously met Todd. Wait before I met Steve. Because when I met Todd, you were with.

We were double dating with somebody else.

Oh god, Okay, I kind of slipped there, But that's because you've been my friends.

Okay, that's life.

That's fine. You know, we all have a past. Yep. So yeah, so I remember that as well. I mean I remember you having a lot.

Of fun with Todd because you do have that sense of ye or like he does, and and the joking and he's really clever.

So you do have those similarities with him. Maybe that's why I like you so much.

I told you you married Todd because he reminded you of me. I've been saying it forever.

For sure about Steve. So I heard a lot about Steve before I actually got.

To meet him, because you were like hugging him up for yourself.

You were like not sharing him with anybody yet.

You know, I remember when you first met Steve and you were just like with him, like twenty four seven, which I loved because, by the way, I think that's really important before the women actually share the partner they're with, they need to make sure that he's like shareable, like that you want other people to meet him.

Well, I had already been burned with sharing beforehand and announcing and you know, introducing someone to everybody before.

Right, I'm really careful with that, and I think that that's an advice that I give all my friends, Like before you bring him out there and introduce him to the whole group, you know, make sure that you know he deserves it and that you really like him. And yeah, you know, you never know about the future at that point, but like you really need to be excited about him.

And sure, I mean, I just don't like to like introduce you know, my guy. I agree with a lesson to something. And of course I've learned that you know, with age and it was with and with wisdom.

It took us a long time to figure that one out.

Yeah, you know, I think when you're younger, you just don't know any better. And you're so excited and you kind of want to, like you introduce him to parents. Yeah, yeah, but how I always say, like, make sure that it's like you know, it's solidified and like you know it's locked down before you bring him out there.

Mm hmm.

But nobody asked me for my advice right now, and you're actually asking me what my first impression about Steve was.

That was the question advice I was. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, me too. I think the song I'm.

Usually like used to that too.

And so when I met Steve, I had heard so much about him, and I was so excited to meet him, and he was everything and more that you told me about. I was really happy for you because he was. He was great like you and him made the cutest couple. It was like, you guys look good together, and then when you were together, you were sewing to each other.

You're sweet and loving. He was sweet and loving. It was like, you know, do mommy, like your mom put him there for you to say, like this is the man. And your dad too, by the way, because your dad would have loved somebody like seeing Oh my god.

Yeah, well I think they were trying to show me this is what love is supposed to be, like, this is what a good loving relationship is. Like, I really hadn't known. I thought I had known many times, but I didn't know until now. Yeah, what it's supposed to be never too.

Late, It's never too late.

I thought he came out the perfect time and you were ready for it, and he was so.

Cute, he was so sweet, and.

That's it.

That's why you ended up like marrying him, And you know, you guys are good because I felt like, you know, you belong together.

Yeah, we did. We belong together. Yeah.

Yeah, And I love that we all get along and we love to go out and have fun because we kind of like all like yeah, right, Todd and Steve they like each other each other from the day they first met. And it's great, you know, because it's really good to be able to go out with another couple, you know, like, oh, so we have things in common, we like to do the same things. Yeah, and you know, we just like to have fun.

Absolutely, though, when did you know that you can spend the rest of your life with this man?

With Steve?

I actually.

I actually remember.

I want you to answer it because I remember having this conversation with you, my friend.

So my answer to that is every day that goes by, it reconfirms for me. So the longer I'm with him, the more I realize I can't ever be with anybody else, like this is the person. I'm going to change his diapers, I'm gonna you know, clean out his feeding to whatever I have to do. I'm gonna be with him till the end because I really like this is it. And the more I'm with him, the more I feel solidified in that decision that that's that's it for me.

But I remember, so I'm gonna you know, I'm a particular date.

You're better with dates than me, but I know that.

So I'm going to stick to the question and I'm going to answer it for you. Yeah.

So the question is when did you know that Steve was like the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with. So I remember, like talking to you, I remember you never leaving there, never.

Leaving like Steve's siety.

Yeah.

So I remember those days, and I remember like you talking about him like all the time, every single day, and you're telling me, oh my god, I'm so happy, Alex, say, like you don't understand Oh my god.

I'm like, it's so in love. This is like the best man in the world. Oh my god.

So one day you just said, oh my god, I'm like in love with this man, like I can feel like I can marry him and just be with him for the rest of my life. And I was like, oh wow, Like okay, that's like it's so tough for because it was, like I think it wasn't even like the first three months you were already saying that you knew. Yeah, it's kind of like you knew.

I always know and then I'm always wrong.

But no, but I think that way because you don't take the risk.

You don't know I've made exactly, you have to take the risk. You said it. If you don't take the risk, you don't you know.

I'm a risk taker. I mean me too. I don't love a challenge. I love a challenge. With me, I kind of had the same situation you did. You know, you know, we're like in love with love and we know rights, like we know.

What we love putting on a wedding dress, don't we or not right?

But what I'm trying to say is like, so with Todd, I felt the same thing when we met, and I feel like two months later he asked me to go with him to Los Angeles and we went to LA and I think like day three or four being there, like this is so unlike me because I'm not that expressive emotionally, especially with you know, something relatively new. And I told him I must have been drunk, by the way, because I told him last time I felt like this.

Last time I felt like this about a man, I married him, and I remember him like, like.

No words because it's true.

So you know, I had been like single for a year and I was, you know, just going out and having fun.

I threw it out there.

Was so weird, I think because I'm you know, I'm so real and so genuine, I'll tend to like it just came out from my heart. So I just told him like I'm kind of to me like I'm not trying to marry you, but okay, like I think he kind of.

Like, bro, He's like, okay, I like you, like, we're just dating.

But it was weird because we're not just dating.

No.

What I'm saying is no, I'm but first of all, I'm not that person. But I don't know, like how that came out. But what I'm trying to tell you, it's kind of like you know, like in your gut, it's obviously not happened to me.

It's happened to me three times.

And that's why I've been married three times, because it's kind of like you know when you're gonna that this is the guy you're gonna marry, obviously for different reasons at different times in your life. But when I'm saying, like with Todd, I I knew, like I looked at him and I said, oh my god, because I guess because being alone for that year that I was on my own and I was going out and having fun, I hadn't felt that with any man, so like with him on this trip, I did and I just kind.

Of like blurred it out and yeah, and the rest is history. You know.

Three years later we got engaged and we've been married since then, so we've been together for six and a half years. Yeah, So, like, what do you think do you feel like, since like I knew, I felt that way about Todd, do you think guys also know when it's like the girl and when they're ready for that, like you know, when they know that this is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I kid it's her.

I can only speak from different men that I've known that were like bachelors forever. They have all said to me, I knew she was the one. I don't know what they knew or how they knew, but they knew she was the one. There's something that happens, and that happens to them too, they know.

I feel like it's something different.

It's like we have something different than none of the other ones I've had.

Mm hmm. So don't come after us because you're be in trouble after elected. You don't want to be the next one.

The next question is a fan question.

I love that our fans are reaching out and asking those questions because it makes it a lot more fun. And thank you Marathon for taking the time and reading through the questions and picking some of the questions. Yea, So here we have a girl and she says she and her girlfriend are all married to white American men, and they're always having.

To explain things relating to our culture.

So what stuff do you, for example, have to explain to Stephen or like what I have to explain to Todd? So I want to know what you have to explain to Stephen about our culture.

Okay, you probably have a lot more work in this department than I do. Because Steve grew up in Miami and he went to a Cuban Jesuit high school.

I love it.

He was literally the only American guy there. We were just at the Kibisken Yakab last weekend and he ran into a bunch of the guys he went to high school with at Berlin and they're all like talking, you know, like half English, half Spanish. Steve knows crokeda. He loves the word cha moza. He gets it.

But he is very he's very land.

Absolutely, he's he's he's he understands it, and he jives and and he thrives and he's cool with it and they love him. It was so cute. They're all telling me the stories and he was the only gringo in the entire high school. And then he tells me there was a cafeteria outside of his high school and the only thing they had was like so he learned how to eat all those things because that was the only place he get it snacked outside of Berlin.

Of course, and so Yami. Anyways, I'm sure he didn't have a hard time.

Well, you know, he loves food, yes, but.

I'm going to like Cuban foods and snacks are really good.

I think something that because he doesn't understand he hasn't lost his parents, that I have a couple of pictures of my parents together in the house and I keep a little glass of water in front of it, a clear glass of water for their spirits. And I don't think he understands that, but he allows it because he respects my my feelings and you know my traditions. That that is just clarity for the spirit. Sometimes I put a little candle, sometimes I put some flowers. It's just for the spirit of the ones that have passed. So those are things that I've taught.

I am here.

Oh yeah, for Nance.

You said that. For Nancy.

I have a picture of my mom right up here. And you're not going to believe this. I've had this since Mother's Day. What I mean, I had more. But look at it. It's perfect and the water. I haven't even changed the water, my friend, Nay.

It is so strong, it's perfect. Marisol, look at this two weeks that's incredible. That was two weeks to change the water. So clear clear, I haven't even changed, you know, we know.

We know those are signs that there were.

Sure, yes, it's incredible they show us.

But mummy, m O Nancy, So yeah, they think it's weird. I agree with you that we're so in touch with our loved ones and with with our with with the people that have the seas that have been such a part of our lives, and they're like our guardian angels, and we maybe communicate with them and we remember them in such loving memory, and like you said, we have their pictures. We put a flower, we put the basso and and I did that for a long time, like you know, for the spirits, because that's how you elevate their spirits. And that was the bigs that we were taught you know, as as young girls in our homes.

So yeah, very very good. So I had that one as well. But I think that with Todd, like you said, him growing up in Saten Island and you know, definitely being more American whole other animal, right, He's he's definitely you know, not as you know Latinisau or like Cubanized as Steves. So I don't know I mean, I don't know that this has so much to do with our culture or maybe the person, but I've had to explain how the Latinos are always late, not always, I mean there's everything, but we have a problem with on time.

So you're not bad at that.

You're good because I'm with Todd. Yeah, like I used to not be so good. Look with Todd, I have to like I have worked on it because I know it bothers him.

But I hate to interrupt you, but you're not grossly late. Some people are an hour hour and a half late. You're usually ten to fifteen minutes. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm early. You're ten fifteen minutes. But that's not yeah, grossly.

By the way, we have that problem in our group right now. But anyways, so yeah, so but with him, I've gone better. But it is a Latino thing. And like the thing is, we don't even get mad about it. Like we have a party and we put a knee and by eight o'clock and we don't nobody's going to show up till nine.

So it's so funny.

So Todd and I have had parties here at home, and all of his friends that are all American they're all on time, sipon the're right there at seven ding tho. I was like, oh god, for sure it's your friends. Yeah, all his friends show up on time. And then my friends are for sure an hour late. You know, if I put seven, they'll be by eight. So it's definitely a cultural Latino thing. And I think another thing that that I've had to explain to Todd is the fact that we talked to our mom, to our parents and to our kids like ten times a day. Like, I mean, I obviously don't have my mom now, but when she was like I just like you were EDZN, I used to talk to your mom on the phone for hours.

I love talking to her. Like my mom took on the phone, so did your mom. And we would like and they would call us. How many times would your mom call you? I remember, and she couldn't find you. She would call me and.

She was like everybody anybody that could find me, right, and my brother and my father, like she never stopped the cleaning.

So if I wouldn't answer the same thing, my mother would call my sister or you eat doing mana.

So it's it's just like a cultures. Yeah, so and you know, so I guess we got that from my parents, and now I do the same thing to my kids. You know, I caught Peter twenty times a day and I call it Frankie. Well, Frankie calls me a lot to Actually, Frankie loves to call me, and I love that, you know that.

Like I'll text him. I'm like, where's und your worst car? What are they doing? Are they coming home today? What are they doing? Are they staying with us? What's for dinner? What's happening? Like I ask him a million questions.

It was so funny with my stepdaughters and talks like bro, like like he doesn't call me bro, but that was just me happening.

He was liked yeah, and I was like, babe, like what and he's like, listen, it's okay.

I don't call the girls twenty times a day like we communicate, but like I trust.

Them they're good. I don't have to be calling them the whole day.

I was like no, but like you need to text them and are they coming and where are they And I was like, say, helio, me too.

He's so calm about it, and I'm like, but wait, but what Yeah, yeah, it's weird.

So definitely. That's another one that's been but like it's been like in a fun way. You know, I've learned from him, he's learned from me, and you know, I don't know whose way is better, but it's just like my way in his way.

And again like the way that we were raised in our culture.

And I think the other thing is like talking with our hands and talking loud.

He's like, he'll he'll get home and.

I'll be like maybe even talking to you or talking to one of my girlfriends, and he'll be like, who are you screaming at like in Spanish? And I'll be like, babe, like this is that we talk like. It's not argumentative, like we're not arguing. We're just like yell and I'm like talking all over with my hands and he's like, oh, okay, because like you know, they don't speak like that.

You know, it's different. So I think that's also like cultural.

Steve gets it. He's never once said to me being loud. He's yeah, he's.

Been around and he went to Berlin. Yeah, and all his friends were like Cuban America like us. I'm sure he would visit their homes and.

They were used to that, like if there's no screaming, there's like no communication going on.

That was when a community.

When I was on Saturday when we were with ran into all of his friends from high school at the yacht club. Every other word out of their mouth was O battle, battle, And he just listens and talks like that's nothing. And I'm thinking of myself.

He does it, Milburt him. He does it well. And he when his friends is always.

Oh he says that.

Now, yeah he does because that's where I want. Oh, you know, we go like how we speak. So he's I picked up a couple of things from me.

It's his favorite word is j molsa. Every time I say it, he giggles and he screams gi molsa and takes a sip of wine. Chee molsa.

He's so cute.

Well, I love that he's embraced you know, he's embraced you know, you and and your culture.

And he's a lover not a fighter. Yeah.

I love that. Well.

Speaking of families and blended families, how have you been able to I mean, in this case, you didn't come with any children into the marriage, but you came with two dogs with Tupac and Poppy.

Oh god, oh.

Blend. How were you able to blend your two spoiled dogs.

And the boys? Yeah, because his boys are easy. I think your dogs are harder than his than the boys.

Well, yeah, Steve has a problem with my dogs.

I look, they're not table.

Your dogs are not trainable, and his kids are fine.

Perfect.

So a lot of people have told me, like Tupac is hapchuaap dogs, and those dogs are untrainable. They pepe everywhere. I don't even know what Poppy is. He Pepe's everywhere too. They he loves to run away. They men at each other. So if one's knotty, the other one does the same thing. It's very hard to train them. I paid a trainer, it's like kids, several thousands of dollars, a lot of thousands, and I've been busy. I never had them come here.

I paid them like a year ago. That flushed it down the toilet basically, So you know, he's not.

Way I would have done with your kids, if you would have had kids. No, that's obviously not.

You know, because the dogs can't respond to me, you know, they can't speak back to that.

That's a great thing. That's a great thing. By the way, well.

That's why people love animals more than people, because you know, they don't get any lip. But uh, it's been you know, for him, it's been difficult because of my dogs. But his kids are great. They're really easy, and I think you they're they're amazing, Like I couldn't have been knock on wood. I don't want to say I like youving because I'm just I don't even want to use that word.

I feel very grateful. I'm blessed, and I always wanted to have my own kids, and then I got some that somebody else raised and they're perfect. So that's it, done and done. Your situation is a little more complicated. You have like the Brady Bunch going on over there.

It is because I came with two boys. And even though you know Overage, you know, Peter is still a very big part of my life. And and Frankie, you know, you know, being you know, unique and having unique abilities, he you know, he also comes with like special directions. You know, it's not like you know, your average, you know, independent child that you know can do a lot of things on his own, Like he needs you know, a lot of my attention, so you know, Todd's learned to you know, to to realize it, to be aware of it, and and.

Actually just add you know, support to it.

But you know, the girls are really loving, and you know they get along with Peter and Frankie fine. Peter doesn't live here, so it's been easy. You know, I think that when they're older, it's easier in some ways and it's harder in other ways, right, because it's kind of like Peter's a man, so it's kind of like okay, like to your husband, but it's like he doesn't live here, so you know, the relationship is different. It's like a friend, which is actually great because you know he sees Todd as a friend. And Frankie is very loving. You know, there's nobody that's not going to love Frankie. Frankie all he has is love and happiness to share, so it's very easy to love him too. And and you know, my stepdaughters are.

Really independent and they're really great.

Honestly, like I'm really blessed that way because they've given us zero problems. So that's been easy as far as you know, managing that. But the best advice I can say is kind of like respect your boundaries and just don't try to be their mom or don't try to be their dad. Just try to be their friend. You know, that's all you can do, you know, because they don't have a mom. You know, they already have the real you know, the biology mom, the biological dad. And you know, we're not here competing. First of all, there's enough love for everybody. I have love for my children, from my stepdaughters, from my husband, for everyone.

So it's like there's enough of love.

So it's kind of like just respect each other, you know, just be good listeners and be friends and and really don't butt in in like important things, you know what I mean. I've learned a lot from Todd's parenting skills, which, by the way, were very different from mine, maybe because of his background, you know, different from mine, the way he was raised, you know, so he definitely had a different parenting scot style.

But it's worked out for him really, really well.

So I've actually learned a lot of things from him that I've applied to my relationships with my sons. And I think he's learned a lot of things from me and my boys.

You know.

He always says that he learned to love and be affectionate, like because me, Peter and Frank and I were so affectionate, you know, like you see, as well as.

Like touching each other.

Oh that's another thing about Latinos that we're always touching each other.

Yeah, we're always like.

That's how you end up getting married too many times touching, touchy.

So anyway, so we I think we both you know, came in to like the marriage or into our relationship. Also like later on in life, right, you know, more mature, with more wisdom, so like things that didn't work out before, you know, work out now because we really wanted to work out. And like I said, you know, it's it's different when the kids are small. Everybody's situation is different, you know. Luckily for me mine we're older, but then I have you know, special needs on so it's it's been an adjustment. It is an adjustment. And then just don't give up. You know, you have to be patient, you have to be tolerant. And I mean that's all I can I can really say. Yeah, and you really have to love each other because.

Oh they only see us happy and laughing, and you know, these kids are so well brought up. They had two good parents. I'm just like a big sister over here, so you.

Know, well, you know what that but that's a great thing. I mean, we're two boys. Wouldn't love to have a big sister like you?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, oh. I'm all giggles and fun and they love it, you know.

And you know what, that's all you're really supposed to be because and they have their mother, and besides that, you don't want to be that step mother that's going to I mean it's different because, like I said, when they're little, there's you know, different like responsibilities and that you would have as a stepmother. Right, But I think that you getting them at teenage, you know, late teenage years, just like I did, changes everything. So every situation is different.

And I had enough employees that were young to know how to handle them and know, you know the things are going to bring up and don't get involved. I'm literally just a rescue. If you need me, I'm there. You need a sandwich, you need an emotional place, you need to drive, you need some money, whatever, you know, big sister, that's it. You know. I'm not here to teach them anything new, maybe just how to deal with the pains right now. My step son just broke up with his girlfriend and he's hurting.

No way, you hadn't told me.

Yeah, he's yeah, he's hurting. But she's about to leave for college, and you know she's said.

Oh, everybody's going through that. Although my stepdaughter has has a boyfriend. But you know they're good and they're going to spend the summer together. But it's hard. It's their first love. Never know how to handle it.

You know. You know what I did. I brought him a Jill's Aaron candle. He loved it. I put it on the room, I made it dark. I'm like, you want any food, you want to hot cocoa, you want a tequila? What do you need?

Just you want girlfriend?

Well I know I told Steve that afterwards, but it's a little soon, and you know, it's only in a couple of days. He loved the candle. He slept. You want to play poker with his friends. He's getting through it.

We broke up with him.

It was kind of like a mutual was kind of mutual, kind of mutual, but not so much. It was just kind of forced. You know, someone always checks out a little bit and you someone else takes the reins and you feel it coming and you're like, okay, well we need a break, and then you hope feel like.

You know, this will be a life lesson for him, you know. And that's how we can say it hurts, and it's going to hurt, but you.

Kind of have to go through this. No, you can be ready for.

The next Are we ever really ready? Like it hurts the first time? Well, now it's starts. It's super painful, And I was like, you know what, hopefully you don't have to go through it again. You meet someone and that who you're with forever, but you won't be the first and you won't be the last.

It happens going everybody college.

Yeah, and obviously he's staying here, so that's a problem exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah, I feel like that's like the first heartbreak right when you when you graduate from high school.

Mm hmmm, and you have to make that decision mm hmm. But hopefully you're there, like you, like you said, like a big sister and like a friend. He has a shoulder you know, to cry on or you.

To Like anyone can give experience on bad breakups, it's me, You're an I'm an expert.

So MATI.

I know how much you're like a cocky. I don't like when you call it the other word without the I E.

But you know what, I'm lazy, so I cut some you know, a shortened every day.

Don't cut that one off.

It sounds like it's very fun. No, it's not cocky, is cue but the other one without the ie nomeusta.

Okay.

So anyways, I know all your favorite cockies. But because I know you're working on your cockies, I know that you're discovering different flavors. So tell me what's the latest on your list that you love.

My latest favorite cockie is the porn Star Martinis.

Right, okay, so tell me.

Yeah, so it's vodka. You know, one of my favorites passion fruit lemon, and I think it's like a vanilla syrup in it. You shake it up, it's delicious. Oh my god, yeah, it's really good.

I can't wait till you prepare one of those for me.

Oh yeah, yeah.

I had a margarita the other day. We always order the other day, no, every day, So you know what it was called the orange marmalade.

It was a pastise. It was so good because besides the lemon. They put orange on it and like the orange syrup with the lemon and the spice.

It was delicious.

That sounds really I'm like, oh, I have to give this idea from my to my friend because it was really really good.

That sounds really good, Alex, Yeah, yeah, Do we have to get it at pasties? Are we going to make them at home?

No, let's try them at home. I'm sure yours are going to come out better. You're really good shaking up a drink, my friend.

You know what, there's something in the hands. My first husband used to tell me he'd make himself a sandwich and I'd make.

Sandwiching else, you're like something in my hands. My first.

Yeah, he was was like you, there's something in your hands. He'd make a sandwich. I'd make the same exact sandwich, and he said mine tasted better. But some people have something in the they know how to cook and make things.

Yo, tell me. And that's why I'm so afraid of using my hands because.

The world will explode.

Yes, no, no, for real, I get that a lot too. But the drinks, you know, I don't really like it, but I feel like you really do. How to prepare a cocktail. And you know that because in the group, everybody always wants you to prepare the cocktail.

Some of the girls like, huh, I can't drink them? What, Oh my.

God, I do get to you sometimes. I mean, I'm like, it's for me, not for you.

Well, you know, my trick to a good cocktail is I pour myself one first so that you know, then I get creative and I make a good one, and then sometimes sendalo like you say, I do a little extra, and then everyone's gay. I'm like, it's fine, what's wrong with you? Drink it puts hair on your chest, like my dad would say.

So, since we're giving kind of like advice to each other, what's someonody?

Well, like, what advice have you given me? I feel like we're always giving advice to each other.

I know that that's one of the next questions, and that's why I was looking at it and kind of thinking, like, I don't know. I feel like all of our conversations we kind of have advice for you the same.

Well, we think the same very much so, and I find that you and I think the same and feel the same about don't sweat the small stuff, don't let the little things stress you out. It's very easy to get caught up in the You're sitting in traffic, someone cuts you off, you get pissed off, you start cursing, and then you're living in that negative energy. Like you and I are very much about, don't let the little things bother you. Look at the big picture. This is small, it's not a big deal. Focus on the good. Like we talked about this last time about not letting you know, even a breakup or you know, just not focusing on the negative, focusing on the positive and all the good around you. I think that that's something I learned from you,

and we constantly talk about that.

No, I mean I agree with you.

I mean I love that I have, you know, a friend that can give me good advice. You know, it's always great, especially now that I don't have my mom. And my mom used to always give me good advice. I would never really do anything with it. I mean I would kind of like I feel like as I got older, I did start listening to her advice. And what I do now a lot is think about the advice that she chose to give me. Right, Oh my god, and like if my mom was here, like what would she be telling me or I start thinking, do la cosa get in the past, you know, throughout my life she had told me like all the time, I've been doing that lately.

Yep, me too, or no, angry at little things of like Okay, it's not a big deal. Yeah I do that to Alex.

Yeah yeah no, But I mean it's great because I feel like every girl needs a friend to get good advice. And I feel like I have different friends. They give me different kinds of advices. You know, if I already like financial advice, like I know one of my friends was really good with that, so I would ask her, you know, if I need advice on relationships, you know, and everything. But I feel like you and I we can talk about everything and anything and be honest with each other and really, you know, give advice to each other like like sisters, and you know, really talk like raw, you know, like say things and maybe you don't want to hear, but you have to be open and honest.

And you know, I don't always want to hear things.

I know you don't, I know, but oh my god, I know, Like yeah, I'm.

Very and I'm a good listener and you.

Are, but I tell you those things because like I love you and I care for you, Like if if I don't, then I don't do that. But when I give advice, it's usually like good advice, and especially if you're my friend and I love you, because it's like I would only do that if you're my friend and I love you.

So I feel like people give each other really good advice.

Yeah, of course, I always have you know, your best interest at heart. I always want you to end up happy and winning at the end of whatever the situation is.

But yeah, I mean I think like sometimes people do have a hard time taking in the advice and it's like, well, why are you even like.

Because we're stuck in our own thoughts in our own heads. It's normal. You know, you have a thought process and someone's giving you a different angle and you can't process it because you're stuck in your own situation. It's normal. But you know what I do, listen and I do.

Okay, So we've been beating out on the bush. We've been being around the bush. Remember I'm the teacher. They want to know specifically, what is the best advice you think you've given me?

And the best advice I've given you.

Well, I just said it before and I and it's the same.

It was the same in general, No, I thought, but I could think of like one thing okay again my words with you, but with a relationship, okay, with like in the past.

So it was some advice you gave me.

Mm hmm about your Yeah, about like somebody that was in your life, you know, in the past, and you know you you finally listened and you know I gave you a lot of advice and you reacted.

You know.

I feel like that's when you really you know, I'm just trying to be like a little bit more specific because I mean, in general, we give each other great advice, you know, and that's what good friends do. I feel like you and I have both been through a lot of things in our life that were on a level that you know that you you could give me good advice, and I could give you good advice because you know, you're not going to ask like a thirty year old and maybe hasn't gone through something like that or hasn't lived the experiences we have, you know, for advice. So with that being said, I remember giving you specifically good advice and a particular relationship you were in and you finally like accepting it and realizing it and listening to it.

And I'm happy about that because you know, I got thank you.

Yeah, yes, thank you. And I think a lot of what you were saying is what I was saying before.

You know, Yeah, this is going to you've given me and you've given me good advice too, Like with my relationships, like with my kids, with with my.

Limited capassibility, I do the best that I can and I possibility capassibility.

Okay, when you see you teach me your words, I was like, capassibility.

I love when an English lesson, it's so good. We got to do one of those.

And one of our podcasters do an English lesson please.

Yeah, yes, a Spanglish lesson.

So anyways, Amiga, for all your advice and.

Thank you, thank you. I'm only I'm only healthy in alive because of you and all the good people around me.

So we know that you had a very successful PR firm here in Miami, and I had the privilege and honor to work with you and together.

I had full locations around the country. By the way, I just want to throw that plug in there.

Oh that's right. You did have in different cities. You had presents there, so I apologize for that, thank you for But I mean you were really known in Miami for you know, for the events you know, and the and the brands that you represent here and for all of your PR work that you did here. So and I had the honor and privilege to attend all these events and to work with you and to publish all those great events in the magazine.

Thank you for your support the magazine.

You know, how can I not?

You were like, had the best parties and the best of everything. So you did that for many years, and I know it was a big part of your life and it assumed your life as well. Yes, you know your friend back then as well. And by the way, the question is like what made you close the firm? I already know any.

Answer, but I would like for you to explain it to people that are interested that are listening.

Right, So, I think that for people that don't know, PR is a it's it. It sucks the life out of you. It's a really really really hard job. A lot of people burn out really young, really quickly change careers. It's a special type of person that can do this and do it for the rest of their lives until they're you know, until they expire. It was taking a big toll on me. My personal relationships, my families were My mother and father were very ill. They needed me.

And I met a man at the time that said to me, you know what, you're not fun. You know, you're super stressed all the time. Don't worry about work. I'm going to take care of everything. And I called I remember calling my father and thinking this is crazy, Like I need to ask my dad because he's always supported me my whole life. And my dad was like, you know what, your mother and I really need you.

And and I hate that job. You're always stressed, you're unhappy, and you know, you know, go with this man, close it. Do whatever you're going to do. Go live a life, go travel, do whatever. And you know what, I was just waiting for just someone to rescue me and get me out of there. I was so stressed.

Oh I remember, I remember that part of your life vividing.

Yeah.

I was very happy that person.

Yeah, because you were so it consumed you and you were so good at it, and it absorbed you so like you want everything to be perfect, and you had so much pressure with your employees, with the brands, with with just I was.

The one man show with a big monkey on my back, and the opportunity to escape was there. And one of the girls that was my vice president at the time, I've been telling her for two years, I'm going to get out of this. I don't know how, but I'm going to get out, and I'm either going to close it or you can have it. We're gonna, you know, just start thinking about it. And then when I met, you know, my ex, I remember calling her like with the two months notice. I said, I'm out. You want it?

Or am I closing it? She's like, I don't know what to do. I'm nervous. What do I do? And I said, open a bank account. Oh, you can have the furniture, you can have the employees, you gonna have the clients, you gonna have the computers, the phones, you can have it all. You just need your own bank account and your own corporation. It's all yours. And that's what we did. We transferred everything over. And she's still in business now and she's killing it. She's doing a great job. She wants to get out. She hates it.

Well, the thing is like for a single woman.

Well, the only reason why you were able to do it for so many years was because you single, Because if you would have had a family or a real relationship at that time in your life, you wouldn't have I mean, any man would have made you pick because I remember it was that you could never have fun, like even like at the event, I would see you and you were like completely disconnected and stressed out.

And you know that.

I was very happy when you made that decision because I was your friend at that time and you told me as well, and I was like, oh, you know, finally, like finally we're gonna be able to go out and have fun and you're gonna you know, So it worked.

And there's a point, did I I We've been having fun ever since, like.

A different person since then.

People asked me, and I said, well, you really can't judge by that because she was working, Like that's not like how she really is.

She was working.

She's a professional and and and it gets stressful, and it gets stressful.

So I was very happy by your decision.

I think that's one of the best things you've done in your life, because if not, you would have been there like, oh my god, for nothing, because you know.

A person in the world. And I just want to give kudos to all those people that are MPR and have a family or run to own a business and have a family. It's a lot of stress, it's fine, very difficult.

I really applaud all those women because you know, women have even more responsibility in that case. You know, when they have families that they go home and their children and homework and after school activities and then events on night, and then they have to make their husband happy and they have to look good, and it's a lot. Honestly, it's a really it's a glamorous career. It's actually a really pretty profession for a woman. I always loved it myself too.

But it's not so glamorous exactly.

Well, like a lot of careers and professions, but it's one that you really have to dedicate your heart and soul and so many hours and at the end, you know, I don't know if it was worth it. It was worth it for you for all those years that you did it, obviously because you liked it, but it's a lot of sacrifice.

Well, as you said, I.

Checked that box off of running a really big company from scratch, and growing it and becoming in your national and you know what I mean, that was huge and I didn't even study that, so I you know, I have to pat myself on the backboard. I gave it the college try. I did great. It was top business in my city at least, so you know, I did it, done it, and I'm out. My father always said, if you're going to do something, be the best, and I did it to be the best until I myself.

Still the best.

My friend, your starter. Oh favorite Cuban traditions. I can talk about this all.

Day hours, right, there's so many.

Well, I feel like one of the biggest Cuban traditions I think is like our family.

I feel like we were we were like born.

And raised Gila Familia is like everything everything is a family and food, right, everything is like food. My house, well, you guys were like weird Cubans and that because father.

You know, my mom didn't want to eat either.

I know, you know it's true. You know I didn't have that typical house. It was luckily for me, I had my grandmother that cooked so good and she was like so Cuban and she was the one that raised us so like every day it was like food, Like.

I was all like that kind of food. I was likeda.

So, which, by the way, is like another tradition is like the Cubans that we call like terms of endearment to like the people we love, Like we call like I call boy. He's like, what do you mean Boppy. It's like, isn't Poppy like your dad?

Yeah, And I'm like, well yeah, but it's also like my guy. It's also like my man, right, like a mimacho like Bobby, things like that. So that's like another Cuban tradition that we have that we call each other in terms of endearments and we put like ETA on everything, like I like say aa or like Gordida, you know, and not to you know, like English speakers.

I think we'll look at us weird, like we call somebody skinny like Gordida. But it's kind of but like sometimes you say, like Meorda, you know, and it's not because you're Gorda, it's not because you're.

Fat's just you love endment yeah right, yeah, So I think that that's like another Cuban tradition.

Like I really like, by.

The way, I made free from scratch for the first time in my life on Sunday.

No, maybe.

No, I used the regular pot. Yeah, and they tasted just like in the restaurant. It took seven hours. I'll buy them at the restaurant.

Seven hours, bro, How can it take you seven hours? Negro?

Because they had to cook for my friend Peter.

You need a pressure cooker. Oh yeah, the bersion, yeah faster.

Yeah, because I took I said, Steve, we can just go by it around the corner. I want to spend making good.

Yeah.

And I made him super clean. No, just water and herbs and that was it.

And that's seven hours or like.

No, I made it perfect, but it wasn't boiling. Peter told me to boil it and then lower the heat and then it took too long, and then I had to boil it again. Then it finished, So it took like a good close to seven hours.

Yeah.

I thought this is ridiculous.

I can't wait seven hours to eat, bro.

Well, they're telling me, oh, women make it in the morning. They go to work and come back. I'm like, who's going to leave the stove on all day? You're gonna burn the house.

Down for free?

How did the house get on fire?

I was making free? Holy that's funny, I was.

Making it's not that necessary.

I a lot of good Cuban restaurants, so yeah, we gotta.

I'm gonna spend seven hours on something you better like over the top and different.

Yeah yeah, so well, speaking of food, that's another tradition that I love, Like.

That's my favorite.

But yeah, yeah, get the pig at the farm. I don't like the part of the slaughtering and all that.

Yeah, I've never gone to the farm. Usually just shows up at my house in the box and someone makes it right.

But I feel like that's like a real Cuban or Latin thing, you know, where we celebrate whenna and it's like a whole ceremony picking up the pig, seasoning it the night before watching it, you know, and like a Gina churning it, doing the whole thing.

It's like we serend the pig.

If I if I did the beginning to end process like that, I'm like I could eat it. And you know I love bacon and pig.

Yeah, I love it. I know you love it. Remember remember the little here.

There was there was this we filmed the scene. I think it was season one two. I don't remember one. Season one one at your house, and you guys went to get the pig and you cooked it. And remember we were we were filming, and they did this thing for the audience. There's something called ring tone where everyone has to be silent. And I had just put a piece of crunchy pig skin in my mouth and I was crunching it, and everyone screamed at me because it was ring tone. When I was you could hear the crunching of the pork skin.

In my mouth, and you know, and you didn't want to stop. You're like, it's so good, I'm not going to stop. They have to wait, so you I had to wait for you to get room, Tom. And by the way, it had the hairs of the pig.

Yeah, yeah, thing.

I was like, yeah, cool, Like it literally had those hairs of the animals. Still I can't but I'm happy you enjoyed it.

I enjoyed it. I'm not enjoying it now, reflecting on hair in my mouth.

When the guys are serenading the pig, they are like smoking cigars, which is another really cool Cuban tradition which I don't like either because I don't like the smell of it. But it's like pretty hot, like the guys like smoking the cigar.

Have you ever put a suitcase by your front door before on New Year's Eve? So you travel represtitious.

I'm not there yet, Remember I I follow my questions. I was amazing.

Is there another one? Is there that's a tradition?

No, Cuban traditions?

Oh, I thought you were talking about Cuban superstitious, which is another which is all it's superstitious.

Tradition for me is tradition, but it's also bornerline.

You're right, because Cuban superstitions are Cuban traditions.

So let's talk about that one marathon. Tell me that's what I'm saying.

So I like to put a suitcase in front of the door, front door every year, so that you know I'm sure to travel plenty.

Really yeah, I like, you know, I even heard about that. You know what I want I put behind the door after a party, And I'm kidding.

I don't do that. I've never that one, but I've heard of that one. Yeah.

What about.

That means.

Money is coming? Right?

Yes? Yes?

Yes?

Or now, since we're talking about superstitious and super stitions, let's talk about it. Superstitions I feel like since the day were born, like we we grow up in superstitions, at least like in our culture with the Cubans.

Because did you even have the saba the little ones gemp stone.

No, I had diamond earrings?

Okay, well I had those two. I had those two dibine earrings. My parents put a big asaba.

Oh well, guess what I told you if you would have had that bro I was an infant. Well, I wasn't in.

Or in the necklace, but I think that's so cute, you know, like a lot of baby on the pin, yeah, the pins, or like in the necklace or in the bracelets.

So I felt like the day I was born, I was already brought up like it's a superstition.

Of course because of the asabach thing.

Yeah yeah, well I believe in good luck charms. I just never had an asabachi.

What about another superstition that I love? And I know that I love it.

When you know that somebody is being mean to you and like, you know, trying to like ruin your life, you like put their name, you write their name, and you wet it and you put it in the freezer and you kind of just like freeze them, you know what, Like.

I did that. I did I did that once like thirteen years ago. Not sure if it worked.

They're still talking about your being mean.

Huh yeah, I think so. You see it didn't work.

Well, there's superstitions, That's how there are. It's not like you know, there's any proof to them. And these things work, but you know, you want to believe that the work when you're doing them.

And I kind of just set it and forget it.

And it was that right. Another one is the milha or like the sugar, like you want when you want to attract somebody like romantically, or you know, you want like a job interview to go well or something to go good.

It's kind of like you sweeten them up. Yeah, and you use honey or use sugar like water with sugar.

And there's so many out there.

I mean, I feel like as Latina in a culture that we have so many of these superstitions, you know, and they're all fun, you know, they're all like fun and funny and.

Yeah, and I think that the the mental energy you put into it is actually what makes it happen, you know, just not just the act of a little sugar and a honey and here. The fact that you believe that it's going to give you a result is what makes it work. If it works, it all. But they are certainly fun folklore, that's for sure.

Mm hmm.

Yeah.

I love let a candle's yeah, the candle like the flowers, the water.

That's the first thing I did when Garrett came home, the candle still sitting there, the Jills Ren candle. He was like, like, you want a candle and me put a candle.

Why does it have to be Jills Darren's candle. Why can't it just be diptique.

No, Well, because that's what.

Have any like special superstitious qualities.

Actually, so her candles have stones and gems in them for energy. They actually have real gemstones in them for healing. Yeah. And I had a fresh one in there and it's and the candle said be happy on the outside, and I thought, me.

Like happy, yeah, And.

He loved it smelled like vanilla. He was relaxed. It was good. Yeah, candles beautiful.

It's all medic and all you need at home are flowers and candles. To me, that just changes like the whole mood and vibe of the house.

It smells like Vanilla so much.

It's right here, be happy, Okay, Lena, I like it. So everybody wants to know about our fitness and beauty routine.

Hypo forward. There's nothing I can talk about here. So we have a do we have.

The I put forward? Was I'm really really fit?

In context? Because I put forward for you? Like, so what did you? Obviously don't do anything for fitness?

Yeah, thank you?

No, no, I don't know.

So no I'm so I'm saying yes, thank you for that entre No I I unfortunately I'm a poor example of fitness. I don't like to perspire. I don't like to be hot. I don't Yeah, I don't like any of that. I've tried a few, like to move.

I've seen you play tennis. You can play tennis, I mean, but it's less routine.

If someone puts me in some sort of a game where I have to win, I will. I will to win because I like to win. But I'm not athletic at all, super competitive, zero athleticism.

So nothing for fitness. Okay, what about for beauty?

For beauty so you know, for me, like I think we talked about this a little bit before, a little bit less for me as less. It's more. I do my boat talk. I've all as all the time without moisturizer on my face. I used to be better about it. I try not to.

You don't want to give people your no, no, no.

Yeah, yeah, well I actually switch on your to aquafor I put it because I have very dry skin, though, so my skin soaks everything up, plus the pillow picks it up. So I use something very thick because I have dry skin. I do my aquafor. I do my boatox. I get a couple of strings once a year just to help with you know, lift the underneath my neck.

And you don't have to say so much.

Beauty could be like you know, nutrigena and oil oble like I was just talking about creams.

I take no vitamins. I'm a hot mess, but you know here I am clean.

I'm pretty good, my friend, I don't think so. You're very healthy and you look good, you know, you know it.

Must be some good jeans, because I don't think I really take care of myself.

Jeans.

You're good doctors, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, or doctor both.

What's your cigarette a?

I was born that way and I'm kidding.

Yeah, I woke up like this, right, never sleep with kidding?

Well, you know, I know I do that. All you girls get mad at me because sometimes I do that. But the only reason why I sleep with makeup sometimes is because the next day I need my makeup done and I don't feel like sitting in a chair for another hour and a half. So I say, you know what, let me just keep my makeup on and just sleep on it, and then the next day I use it and then I take it off.

But luckily for me, I do have good skin.

Doesn't that make you feel tired? I feel exhausted. If I wake up with my making.

I feel exhausted. I feel like I have to sleep the same. My sleep is not as good because I think I'm a little bit cautious about it, like am I going to get my pillow dirty? Which the answer is yes, by the way, for something well minor extensions.

I don't have the strip the last strip, so I don't do that. But it's worth it.

It's worth it because the fact that I have to wake up the next day earlier and just in the chair for an hour for makeup.

Save a couple of hundred recycle it.

And save two or three hundred dollars. So yes, but I do watch my face every day, you know. I think my secret has been, like I've never really worn a lot of makeup. And with that being said, foundation. I never used foundation to like an older adult like into like my late thirties. Truthfully, I never wore like My makeup regimen was very simple. It was only like, you know, mascara, lip gloss, maybe a little bit of blush.

I never really young, no, but not really because the other young ones now are the ones that do.

Their face like a lot. I've seeing the young girls amount of makeup that they wear all the what is that? So that's what I'm telling you.

I never really did anything to like my late thirties. And with that being said, even like makeup and I did both talks for the first time in my early forties, and sporadically I would do it. So I think I had like a late start, you know, as far as like beauty, you know, beauty products and all that. I do love to change up like the brands like so I'll use Lamer, I'll buy Lamur, and once I'm done with the whole Lamer thing, I'll change feel like Babor when I'm done with like Babor, you know, I'll change to Nutrigina.

So I know it's crazy, but I like to try different things.

I say, it's good to do that, to change the brands and the cosmetics and not to do the same routine. Just like with your hair, you have to mix it up.

Yeah, yeah, So I love to do that.

And for fitness, for me, I I've always had to kind of work out because I have the body, that kind of body or like again the Latino body where I have the big legs and the button the whole thing. So I need to be working out, especially now at our age.

I feel like you don't miss a workout, you don't miss the work you're pretty good.

I think it's all mental. Like for me, that's how I start my day, like I don't even think about it. I put on my workout clothes. I have the gym here downstairs, so that's a plus. I don't have to drive to the gym, and I have a trainer three times a week, so for me, it's like automatic.

You know.

I brush my teeth, washed my face, I have my coffee actually before I write the gym and then I just work out of the gym and it gets me, it wakes me up.

It makes me feel good about myself. You know.

It kind of like starts my day. I think about all the things that I need to do and get done. Yeah, and from there I'm ready to like shower or not shower, depends how much I sweat, and then I just you know, keep onto the beauty bar or like go on with my day whatever it is that I need to do. But for me, fitness is very important. I mean, fitness is part of my beauty routine for me.

Well done. You. I wish I could be like that, Honestly, I wish I could. I wish I loved it. If I did, I know, I'd be like ripped and fabulous.

Yeah.

I mean I don't want to be ripped because you know, at our age some book, I'm trying to be ripped.

But you know, I like my clothes to look good.

And like I said, I've really noticed, like in this time in our lives that you start getting flabby.

I mean, it is what it is. Okay.

So who is your style inspiration? Do you have any like anybody you look to for like a style inspell.

I'm trying to think of do I say that I always.

Like somebody, oh, Zerra Burn, Coco Chanel.

I love Audrey Hepburn, But you know, I always like what she wears. What's that blonde? Kate Blanchet. I love the way Kate Blanchet dresses. She always dresses on point for me, you know, I like her style.

Yeah, and you my inspose is.

I knew, but you know what, she could be sexy, she could also be conservative and elegant.

She just for me. She's always on point. She always kills it and.

She saw well we said it at the same time.

Yeah, of course I knew who yours would be too. I mean, I didn't know Kate Blanchet, but she does have great style. But I feel like Jlo always dresses like appropriate for the occasion, And to me, that's part of yeah, you know, knowing knowing how to dress.

It's not like, oh, she had a beautiful dress, but like.

She's definitely gotten better over time.

Definitely feel like she else it.

If she goes to a Good Morning America, she's wearing like a sue or she's wearing like a turtleneck. You know, she knows how to dress for the occasion for me.

Turtle neck signature.

Excited.

Yeah, I hear turtleneck and I get lady would it's my signature.

Bro. But we live in Miami. When do I wear a turtle like when I go to New York?

Now, Lamas, I can I wear turtle like in all weather?

Yeah? I know, Yeah, I feel like you just wore one recently.

I did. You were visiting, Yeah, and it was blazing high.

It was like ninety degrees and it was black, I mean not even white. You could have worn a white turtleneck.

Oh no, because my nipples would show throw on that. No, no, no, no, no no. When you around a bunch of ladies. Okay, why do anyone get in the wrong idea? Well, my love, I love you.

I love you.

I thank you guys, thank you for listening. It's been so much fun. Please continue to send us questions.

Oh my god, I love when we do personal questions. That's my favorite. Right.

Yes, Well, you know what, maybe next week we can continue because we're leaving a few questions out and we are being asked about our mommies and how our moms came to the US. So maybe that's something we can talk about and start off our next podcast with.

That absolutely, that would be great. Okay, love you bye everyone. Thanks for listening to I Put Foward I.

Thanks for listening.

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