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A podcast where we dive deep into what really goes on inside of domestic violence relationships that makes it so hard to simply "just leave". Through stories of survivors, and practical conversations with guests, I am going to put the microscope back on what the abuser is doing that causes us to become so trapped in the first place, and how each survivor was eventually freed. We will discuss what abusive relationships look like, sound like, and feel like for the purpose of educating and relating to one another in a much needed way. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Ep. 104: He Sounded Overly Honest & Vulnerable
In this episode, I sit down with author and licensed therapist Chelsey Brooke Cole to discuss her experiences navigating abusive relationships, even while working as a therapist herself. We explore how her abuser used the appearance of open
Ep. 103: (Re-Release) Twist, Blame, Repeat
In this episode that originally aired on February 10th, Kelly shares her experience of being in a relationship where reality was constantly twisted. Her abuser was skilled at blame-shifting, making her feel like she was the problem for aski
Ep. 102: He Says You're Free, But Are You Really?
How do we read between the lines when our abuser has gotten really good at coloring within the lines? Deploying control often looks like mastering their craft and becoming “less messy.” As abusers become more skilled at controlling their pa
Ep. 101: The Power in Seeing the Cycle Unfold Close Together
In this episode, Hannah shares her story of what happens when coercive control slowly changes who you are. One of the things that ultimately helped Hannah leave was seeing the cycle of abuse unfold in such a short, compressed period of time
Ep. 100: Could the Word "Narcissist" Be Setting Us Back?
In this episode, I’m sharing my honest thoughts on whether the word “narcissist” may actually be setting us back when it comes to understanding abuse and coercive control. We talk about why focusing so heavily on whether an abusive person i
99: "“You Always Leave Right When I’m About to Turn a Corner”
In this episode, Helen shares her story of the subtle ways coercive control made her believe that she was the problem. She shares how he repeatedly blamed her for leaving “right when he was about to get things right,” pressured her sexually
98: What Change Does Not Look Like & How to Test Them
How do you know when an abuser’s “change” is actually just another form of control? In this episode, I break down the clear signs that an abusive person is not truly changing, including real text messaging examples and behaviors you may see
97: The #1 Thing You Must Know About Abuse For a Lasting Breakthrough
If you never read another book, listen to another podcast, or consume another piece of content about abuse, there is one thing I want you to understand: If you continue looking at your relationship through an incident-based lens, you will a
96: "You’re Making an Elephant Out of a Mosquito"
In this episode, I sit down with Wednesday to talk about how the nervous system can become attached to predictability—even when that predictability is harmful—and how an abuser can become both the poison and the antidote, the distress and t
95: I Had to Become Ruthless to Stay Gone: For the Person Who Keeps Leaving and Going Back
Ali shares the brutal reality of trying to leave an abusive relationship and how, after leaving and returning over and over again, she began to lose trust in her own ability to stay gone. In this episode, we talk about: • Why repeated leavi
94: Aubree's Story | PART 2
Everyone asks what happened the day Aubree’s husband shot her twice, murdered their nearly six-month-old son, Kymani, and then took his own life. But the deeper question is: What happened long before that day? While many people assume letha
Ep. 93: In Honor of Kymani: Aubree's Story | PART 1
Everyone asks what happened the day Aubree’s husband shot her twice, murdered their nearly six-month-old son, Kymani, and then took his own life. But the deeper question is: What happened long before that day? In this episode of Why She Sta
Ep 92 Abusers Don't Lose Control- They Deploy It: with Lindsay Stoker creator of The Control Code
I sit down with Lindsay Stoker creator of The Control Code to unpack the most misunderstood aspects of coercive control and psychological abuse. One of the most powerful shifts in understanding abuse is learning to stop asking, “Was this in
Ep. 91: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Coercive Control
If I could sit across from the woman I was back then, these are the 20 things I would tell her. In this episode of Why She Stayed, I reflect on my own experience of coercive control and share the lessons I wish someone had taught me while I
Ep. 90: What if I'm Wrong About Everything?: Why AI Helps Survivors Feel Sane: Aimee Says
What if you’re wrong about everything? It’s one of the most haunting questions survivors of coercive control ask themselves after years of psychological manipulation. In this episode of Why She Stayed, I sit down with Anne Wintemute, founde
Ep.89: The Damage of Chronic Deception
Brand new episode! This is a never-before-heard conversation. I’m joined by author Cora Leyderman, author of Meet Me at the Well, as she shares the story of her previous marriage to a pathological liar. While many people picture abuse as ph
Ep. 87: (Re-Release) Lundy Bancroft Interview: Why Does He Do That?
This episode originally aired on May 13, 2025. Brand new episode will be released on Tuesday, March 24th. Lundy Bancroft is the author of the book "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" as well as many other bo
Ep. 86: What If I Ruin His Life?- The Fear, the Grooming, and the People Who Said She'd Destroy Him.
Lindsey shares the story of how her relationship slowly turned into something she didn’t recognize as abuse. What began as the gradual normalization of cheating became a pattern of psychological grooming. Over time, he reframed betrayal as
Ep. 85: Twist, Blame, Repeat
In this episode, Kelly shares her experience of being in a relationship where reality was constantly twisted. Her abuser was skilled at blame-shifting, making her feel like she was the problem for asking reasonable questions, having needs,
Ep. 84: Quiet Control: When Culture Masks Coercion
In this episode, Kelly shares her story of entering a relationship with a mild-mannered Arab Muslim doctor at a vulnerable point in her life, a time when she felt ungrounded and stuck in patterns of promiscuity. He positioned himself as a s
Ep. 83: How Abuse Stripped Me of Myself
In this episode, Daniella shares her experience of being in a relationship marked by extreme intensity followed by sudden discard and abandonment. She opens up about how emotional abuse eroded her sense of self, fueled comparison and insecu
Ep. 82: Facing Pain Head-On: The Only Way Is Through
In this powerful episode, I sit down with Kia Lee, author and survivor, as she shares her journey through domestic abuse and cancer—and what it means to keep creating hope while still living in the unknown. Kia opens up about the loneliness
Ep. 80: When The Unknown Feels Scarier & The Courage To Leave What You Know | with Stephanie Strickland
In this deeply honest episode, I sit down with abuse survivor and author Stephanie Strickland, whose new book Finding Peace Within shares her journey of survival, self-discovery, and healing. Stephanie opens up about how her abuser convince
Ep. 79: "He Gaslit Me So Sweetly"
In this survivor story, Tiffany opens up about the hidden layers of abuse she endured in her marriage- abuse she didn’t initially recognize. Growing up with a father who was a “standard yeller,” Tiffany assumed that abuse had to look loud a
Ep. 78: Help, I Can't Define My Experience!
In this solo episode, we dive into one of the most overlooked reasons people remain stuck in abusive cycles: the inability to name what they’re experiencing. I explore how the lack of clear language- not just individually, but across societ
Ep. 77: The Threshold That Never Comes: The Ambiguity That Keeps Survivors Silent
In this episode, I sit down with Hannah to explore abuse that is intentionally designed to be unrecognizable. Hannah shares how her abuser strategically created gray areas and emotional ambiguity, making it almost impossible for her to pinp
Ep. 76: Will The Abuser Change For The New Supply? | Dr. Jaime Zuckerman
In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Jaime Zuckerman, a nationally recognized clinical psychologist who specializes in narcissistic abuse and relationship trauma. Together, we dive deep into one of the most painful and confusing stages of rec
Ep. 75: "He Poisoned Me With Abortion Pills" - Catherine Herring
In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Catherine opens up about the years she spent trapped in an abusive marriage marked by emotional abuse, infidelity, and alcohol use by her former spouse. What began as a hopeful relationship spir
Ep. 74: Their Weight On Our Shoulders: How Abuse Makes Us Feel Responsible For Them | Wendy's Story
In this episode, I’m joined by Wendy as she bravely shares her story of surviving abuse and how it manipulates your sense of duty, love, and identity. Wendy opens up about how her abuser made her feel responsible for his well-being, and how
Ep. 73: How Did I Get Here (Again)? : A Story of Two Abusive Relationships
In this episode, I sit down with Alissa to talk through the painful reality of surviving not one, but two abusive relationships, and the patterns that emerged between them. We dive into the emotional and financial toll of being made to feel
