I Spoke in Tongues at 8… Then Darkness Came for Me - #152 Aleiya Dimaggio

0:00 He was wanting to give me that piece I was looking for, but I just didn't know how to receive it. I really didn't. It's almost like I didn't want it. Like I wanted the darkness more than I wanted him. I couldn't stop the voices even if I wanted to. I tried. I couldn't have done it. Nothing I could do.

0:19 No counselor could stop the voices. Only God himself could stop those voices. And. He did. Yeah, in that moment I heard nothing after and the days following nothing. I felt joy. For the first time in years, I felt real joy. Aaliyah DiMaggio was filled with the Holy Spirit at 8 years old, but that didn't stop her from walking through years of rejection, addiction, anxiety and spiritual torment.

0:51 That she didn't feel she could escape raises a question many believers wrestle with. How can someone be filled with the Spirit and still tormented by darkness? A question Aliyah's story speaks to in a powerful way. But for Aliyah, things begin to change. When God spoke to her through prophetic words that hit right at the heart of what she'd been carrying that letter into Scripture and ultimately to Jesus.

1:19 Words on forgiveness. And when she chose to forgive her father, something broke that had held her for years. That choice opened the door to let deliverance in and to a walk with God. That is way more than she could have ever expected. Please meet Alia DiMaggio. Alia DiMaggio? Yes, you sent the video in, which everybody does. And you could tell when you sent when, when it came in. You were doing that purely from obedience. You weren't like, hey, this is Aaliyah and I love doing this and this is in my wheelhouse and comfort zone. You were like, OK, I've never done this, but I'm supposed to do it, so here we go.

2:10 And I thought it was great and I'm really happy that you're here. I know this isn't super comfortable for you, but you know, the cool thing is it's not comfortable for almost everybody that sits in that chair. I mean, we truly have everyday people who are experiencing God because it's everyday people that God moves in the lives of.

2:34 And so you, you knocked on the door and we opened it and you came in. And so congratulations and welcome and thanks for. Being here, thank you for having me. How you feel? Good. Good. Yeah, well, you look confident. You got your husband Connor with you here, and I'm excited about that too. We love it when people bring those that are in support with them. And so as we've started before, people sit in that chair because they've experienced God.

3:07 How have you experienced God? I've experienced him pursuing me and me running away from him and it all came down to a moment where I had nothing left in me and all I could do was say yes. Well, there's a lot that goes into that and from not only the back story, but the experiences that you described when you did say yes and, and, and just kind of sort of fell into his arms.

3:42 We got to start with the back story. Where Where does all of this start? So I come from 2 parents who struggled with addiction for majority of their life. My story starts before I was even born. So I'm the third child, I'm the youngest and my mom and dad were struggling with addiction and trying to get it right. And they went to a church service who was the pastor was friends or family with my dad and my mom when she had my sister had AC section and she said I don't want anymore. I want my tubes tied, which I think she was just doing that because she knew she wasn't in the place or mindset to have any more.

4:36 So sign the paperwork to get her tubes tied with my sister. Five years later, she's at this church service and this lady comes up to her and she's like, I know you've been asking for a miracle and God's sending you your miracle. My mom was like, yes, like, OK, I'm about to get a miracle, you know, And my mom is still like in active addiction at this time. And two weeks later, she finds out she's pregnant with me. I was her miracle, which is she was shocked, to say the least, because she was like, that's impossible. I got my tubes tied.

5:16 Turns out the doctors lost the paperwork, so it never got done. I know now that that was all. God. Yeah. So after she found out she was pregnant with me, she was very upset, contemplated getting a an abortion. And thank God for my grandma, she talked her out of it, so here I am. Wow so all of that is pre birth for you.

5:51 So your story truly does start before you were before you were born. God says I knit you together in your mother's womb. So to think that life started spiritually and otherwise starts sometime later is, yeah, yours is a testament sort of against that. So, so take it from there. I mean, what? What was childhood like? So my dad and mother separated before I was born, so he wasn't really in my life a lot as a kid. He struggled with addiction for a very long time, trying to think of which route I want to go. So he, my mom, and my dad separated. My mom had a crazy encounter with God, completely gave her life to God.

6:56 He delivered her and she's on fire for God. And I grew up being raised mostly with my grandparents, my Nana, my pawpaw, which is my mom's parents. And my mom had to work a lot. When I was probably 5 years old, my sister got taken away from my mom. It's my mom. I'm not 100% of all the details because my mom wasn't very like open about that because it's very hard for her. But my sister had to go live in Florida with her dad, so and my brother's 10 years older than me, and he struggled with addiction as well.

7:36 So I was kind of like raised as like an only child, I guess you would say. I saw my sister like maybe once or twice a year, which is really hard for me growing up. And so my mom was working a lot. I was always with my Nana. We were like best friends. She's the best Nana ever. And we're always going to church, always in church.

8:00 My mom loved the Lord. I remember being like, I don't know, four or five years old and my mom would turn all the lights down low, light some candles and just play worship music. And I would lay in her lap. And she actually wrote this in her book is the reason I even know a lot of the details about that. But I do remember laying in her lap and just feeling God's presence for the first time.

8:27 I couldn't put words to it at that time, but I just felt this peace, like we were in our own little bubble. Nothing in the world could harm us, nothing could hurt us. Everything was perfect. And my mom actually wrote in her book that the Lord instructed her during those times of like soaking in His presence late at night when she would get home from work, that when I would lay in her lap, he instructed her to lay hands on me and impart to me everything that he imparted to her. And I truly think that has that has impacted me as my story goes on.

9:08 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. The the prayers of parents for their children is a theme that is run through several of our episodes in the last couple of months that I think you probably can attest to as well. It's probably something we want to hit. So how did childhood go? So at 7-8 years old my mom was engaged to this man and he was everything I ever wanted in a dad. He was amazing.

9:47 And one night she was going to go to this, I think it was Rodney Howard Brown Conference. He was somewhere near us and I wasn't even supposed to go. My mom was like, no, you're not going, you're going to stay with your Nana. And I begged and begged and begged to go to church with her. She finally said yes. And we're in this church service and it's they're doing praise and worship.

10:12 And it's like concluding and I just start laughing like uncontrollably got this joy in me. And he called me up to the stage and he had everyone pray over me. And he put the mic to my mouth and all of a sudden this language just flowed out of me. Are you serious? Yes. How old were you? I was 8. I got filled with the Holy Spirit, got my prayer language at 8 years old. Did you know what was going on?

10:46 Did you understand any of this? I when I started praying in tongues, I was like, oh, this is what my mom does. Yeah. So that's really all I knew. My mom even had a picture, and it was like she got it blown up and framed. And in the picture, all you see around me is light, this light beaming off of me.

11:07 And I'm just like crying and speaking in this other language. And after that experience, the enemy already started to attack my mind as a young girl. Now I know back then I didn't know. But you would tell me that like, you're copying your mom. That's not. You're saying the exact same thing she's saying.

11:30 And it wasn't. But when you're 8 years old and you have no framework for that other than, well, this is what my mom does. And other people at church speak in this other language, so yeah. Yeah. And I, I mean, that's a long time ago and. Yes. Me questioning 8 year old version of Aaliyah. It's probably not going to work.

11:53 But I mean, do you remember? I mean, how much of that do you think was, hey, my mom does this. I'm this is what I'm supposed to do? I'm going to do it versus. I don't know how to describe it, but I was overcome with something that I couldn't really control. I was just overcome by it and I know for a fact that it was real because when I finally got to the point I am two years ago, all that time had passed. 8 to.

12:23 I'm 25 now and I never forgot my Prairie language ever. Never forgot it. You would think that as an 8 year old I would be like, oh I don't remember what I said, I can't remember. I remembered it the whole time and I think God used that moment to ground me in the fact that He is real. Because there was moments in my teenage years where I completely denied the fact that God was real. But there was a little voice in my head that would always say, but remember that experience, That's real. Yeah, so you're shaped by the early addiction even, you know, pre birth for you, even a potential spirit of rejection, right.

13:10 Yeah, that's a that's a thing. You don't want a a child and and give birth. I think there are things that go on in the spiritual realm there that that creates spiritual challenges for the unborn child. If if a parent especially doesn't repent of that and say no, no, no, no, we're we're we're not speaking those words or having those thoughts over over my child. And so I think if you look at the spiritual realm after having experience with it, you, you know that your words matter and, and you need to take authority of those over those. And it's not just a spewing a random thought, but there are real consequences that come from that. If you don't believe in spirituality, then you think that's just hogwash.

14:00 So be it. And that's fine. I understand that. And I felt that I was, I was that person before, but as I've grown and matured, I understand and see things in a different way than I did before. And so, so anyway, you're, you're, you're saddled with this sort of spirit of rejection. You've got the, the, the addiction thing. And now, but your mom has an encounter and is now praying over you and parting the things that she's received from God into you on God's, you know, prompting you go to this thing. You have an infilling of the Holy Spirit that you recognize as that, that it wasn't just an acting thing. But you seem to indicate that sort of from that point forward, there was a distancing or kind

14:53 of a moving into a loss phase that you believe, if I understand you correctly, that God was anchoring you at five years old or 8 years old for what was to come? 100%, yeah. So tell me about it. So after that experience, I would say around probably middle school, 6th grade is when everything kind of took a turn.

15:20 So I'm growing up in a house. My mom is in love with God. Like everyone knows. My mom was unashamed of the gospel 100%. Like I grew up, we would go to the park and I'm over here at, I don't know, 9-10 years old sharing the gospel with other kids on the playground and walking them through a salvation prayer.

15:43 And like my mom, we would go eat and she would ask people to pray. I remember I prayed over this one lady at Huddle House and she got healed. Her knee was in excruciating pain. She was on like a cane, and she got healed there. You did? Yes. How old were you? And over my grandma I was probably, I don't know, nine years old, 10.

16:06 You're an agent of healing, praying, healing. At 9 or 10 years old, yes, you did get filled with elder experience. I would say there's a little more evidence for it there. Wow, I didn't know about this. That's great. And my Nana was had to have knee surgery and my mom was like literally a pray over you.

16:24 So I remember sitting down in my Nana's living room and can't even tell you what I said. I was just had my hand on her knee and I was praying. And eventually she did get up, end up getting the knee surgery, but it was years later, yeah. Wow, yeah, so cool. Yes. All right, so in 6th grade, it was confusing for me because I'm growing up in this house where my mom is on fire for the Lord.

16:52 But then there's things going on in my home, like my brother struggled with addiction really bad. And my father, I wouldn't see him much, but when I did either, my mom and my dad would be fighting because he's, you know, using drugs and around me. And so it was just confusing. Like there's this one part of my life that's all about God and we love God. And then all around me there's like chaos, like drug addiction. I don't know.

17:24 And my mom was kind of like the black sheep of the family. So like, it's almost like that rejection was also put on me from my family. And I know they love me and they cared for me, but I always felt like they didn't accept me because of my mother and because my Nana raised me. It was a lot of like, jealousy and that aspect.

17:48 Yeah. So in 6th grade, I was bullied severely to the point where I wanted to take my life. I would just come home and just cry myself to sleep every night and just think of everything that's going on in my life and like how horrible everything is and like, nobody wants you here. You don't deserve to be here. You have no purpose.

18:17 And at that time in my school, there was like, I wouldn't say it was a fad because obviously we know mental illness is real, but I think the enemy used that. There was a fad going around of other girls cutting themselves in school. And so I saw them and I was like, well, they're sad and that's why they're doing it and I'm sad, so I'm going to do it.

18:43 So I started to cut myself in 6th grade. It didn't last very long, but I can I could tell from that moment why girls do it, because the first time you do it, it slowly becomes almost like an addiction. What? What is the? What is the reward? I think just to, I really, I don't know, just to feel something.

19:11 It's almost like you can see the pain instead of like it's all internalized. Yeah. Yeah. I've never understood how that becomes a thing. I just, I've not lived in that space and so just trying to understand it and certainly we're not promoting that. Obviously that's a very destructive behavior that is clearly from the enemy of God.

19:34 So I just. Yeah. Yeah, it didn't last very long for me. So my mom finds out I'm being bullied and she handles all that. It still didn't really help much. I just felt very rejected by everyone and I started to hang out with what you would call like the cool kids, you know, started to fit in. But it's funny because like, even though I'm hanging out with all these people who are like popular and cool, I still feel so like like an outcast, Like I don't fit in here.

20:13 There's something different about me, but I don't know what it is. I don't know why I can't just fit in. I started to do things that. Weren't very godly like hiding them from my mother like started drinking alcohol at a very young age and by 9th grade that was like all I wanted to do was every weekend we want to drink and we want to have fun and we want to go to all these parties and my mom has no clue at all. I'm completely lying to her about all of it. And 9th, I would say like 8th grade, probably 8th, 9th grade, I completely stopped going to church for a minute. My mom would fight me on it.

20:56 I'd be like, I don't want to go, Like I'm fine, I don't need to go to church. And I think that is where everything went wrong because I wasn't grounded. I wasn't being constantly reminded of God. So it's easy for me to push him aside because now I'm part of the cool kids. Now I can hang out with all of them and feel accepted by them. Like I'm doing something that everyone thinks I'm cool. It's like almost like it was filling that void of rejection. So 9th grade I smoked weed for the first time and that catapulted into now smoking weed all the time and life goes on. I'm still partying probably it was like 10th grade I think I moved to a different school.

21:57 I begged my mom to move us out of the school district that we were in because again, I didn't fit in. I went to a very rich like upper class school in the area and all these people driving in with nice brand new cars and my mom's driving in with a beat up 2000 squeaky 4 Chevy Blazer. So like it was just embarrassing and like everyone would pick on me about it. You know, like, I remember one time I got dropped off at my house and one of the girls who I was friends with, she was like, looked at me.

22:37 And she goes, this is your house. And it's just like, wow. Like, I don't know, it just hit me like that rejection all over again. Like, no matter what you do, you're not going to fit in no matter what. You're not like them. You don't have the clothes like them. You don't have the style like them.

22:55 You don't have money like them. So yeah, 10th grade, we move school districts to a different school where I felt like I fit in more. When we moved, my mom kind of like secluded herself in this tiny apartment we were staying, and the apartment building where we moved was like low income housing. So when you're in environments like that, there's going to be people who are struggling with addiction and all kinds of things.

23:34 So I think that affected her a lot. And she's like all alone in this apartment. And we are fighting 24/7. Like it never stops. We are arguing about everything. I just wanted to be an adult and do what I want to do, and I don't need you anymore. Like, constantly. I'm never home, like, ever, never home. I'm always with my friends, always smoking, always drinking on the weekends, partying.

24:09 So I would say about, I think it was 11th grade, I was 17. I met my boyfriend who's now my husband at the time, and we hit it off very fast. Like, we just clicked immediately. And at that time, my mom had stopped going to church as well. She kind of like secluded herself, like all the way stopped going to church.

24:41 So I think in her doing that, it kind of allowed an open door for torment. So she would accuse me of, like, being on heroin, like, I would come home and she'd be like, let me see your arms. And she'd roll up my sleeves. And I'm like, I'm not using like, heroin, like I'm not doing anything. And I slowly started to see it get worse. She would put wood blocks up against the inside of the door so that it was like an extra lock on the door so that nobody could come in.

25:18 And then all of a sudden, we're putting chairs up against the door so nobody can get in. And I'm coming home and she's saying there was someone in the in the attic. We didn't even have an addict. We lived in a townhouse, like apartment, just a lot of stuff like that. And I'm like trying to tell her like, nobody's harming you.

25:43 Nobody's out to get you. Like Joe, I thought somebody was listening to her. She'd like, every time I saw her, she bought a new phone because somebody hacked her phone and they're trying to listen to her, get to her, like, so it's really hard trying to understand what's going on. And I wasn't sensitive to that at all.

26:08 I was very like harsh with her. And she would always ask me like, are you talking to God? Are you talking to God? I'm like, no, I'm not talking to God. Like, no. And the friend group I was involved with, I love them dearly. We were like our own little, like, family. Like, we're all like, had, you know, rough childhoods or rough home life. So we became, like, our own little family. Like, it was like US against the world, you know, Like, yeah. Every day after school, we're all meeting up at this person's house or this person's house or at a park or, you know, and one of my friends sometimes, like very seldom, but sometimes the topic of God would come up.

26:56 And I remember my friend saying like, I don't believe in God, like God's not real and like giving her reasoning for it. And it's almost like that seed was implanted into my head. And I'm like, you know what? I think she's right. Like all these bad. My life has been nothing but, like, awful. And I'm surrounded by all this, this trauma and addiction and rejection.

27:22 And I just felt like nobody truly cared for me. Nobody loved me. And I was like, God, God isn't real. He's not real. There's no way. But every time I would even think of that or say that, that moment of being 8 years old would play in my head every single time. Yeah. So at 17, when things started getting worse, is my mom, I'm getting close to 18.

27:56 It's close to my 18th birthday, and I just couldn't do it anymore. My mom had gone like completely. I don't know, her mind just completely checked out like she was. There were moments where she would, there's this one time she sat at a police station and slept in the car with my dog because she felt so unsafe.

28:24 She slept in the front yard at my Nana's. Like I would run away from home after a fight and I would go to my Nana's or my friends. And one time she spent the night in my Nana's front yard just like waiting for me. And I guess she felt unsafe to take the dog with her everywhere because she was scared somebody was going to hurt the dog.

28:46 It was just like very, I don't know. That time in my life was very difficult. And the second I'm alone, that's also another thing. Anytime I would be alone, all I would do is cry. It's like the second I got alone and all the distractions of the world are away, thoughts would flood into my head of you're not good enough, nobody loves you, your dad doesn't love you, he chose drugs over you, Nobody's ever going to be there for you.

29:17 Like all these thoughts and like memories of my childhood would flood my mind and I would just cry all the time in the car. I would purposely, it's like so demonic even saying it now, but purposely put on sad music so that I could cry, so that I could feel awful. It's like it fed that thing in me. Yeah.

29:43 So things of my mom started getting a lot worse and I decided I'm going to move out. I can't do it anymore. I'm moving out. So me and my boyfriend moved in with his older sister in a different county and I finished out school from there. Still, you know, you live in the party life. You know, every weekend there was a moment that I distinctly Remember Me and my friend had some pills. And I know now that it was only by God's grace that something didn't happen to me.

30:29 Nothing happened to me. I took a very scary amount that something should have. I should have at least had a reaction to it. Nothing happened to me. I woke up the next day perfectly fine. Yeah. Why did you do that? So like when I would drink or smoke I was always the type of person where like more let's do more, one drink isn't enough, 2 drinks like I'm completely drunk.

31:01 No, let's keep going more and more and more. And there was actually a few times where it was my boyfriend's birthday. This moment, always back then I thought it was, you know, like it was just my anxiety, you know, it's just my panic attacks. But now I know it was completely demonic because we know, you know, there's no coincidence that liquor stores are called, you know, spirits. You know, like, you're allowing those entities to come into you, whatever is attached to it.

31:43 And there was one night we were all drinking. And I remember everyone's asleep. We're all asleep. We're down for the night and I remember sitting up and having a full blown panic attack, like can't breathe. And the rest I don't really remember from what everybody else has told me is I was hyperventilating and passing out so much that they had to put me in the shower. They I still wasn't coming to.

32:12 They drove me to the hospital and by the time we got to the hospital, I finally fell asleep. But I was hyperventilating. And I remember sitting up and the reason I was hyperventilating is 'cause I was thinking about my dad. Like every time I have a drink, when you know, everyone's down for the night, we're done drinking.

32:32 Those thoughts about my dad would play in my mind. Your dad doesn't love you. He never wanted you. I mean, my dad. I didn't even have my dad's last name at all. Like there was a moment, from what I'm told, that he didn't believe I was his because, you know, they had a toxic relationship, you know, a lot of cheating and this and that. I'm not 100% sure.

32:57 But he didn't think I was his. So that put a lot of that in my head. Like he doesn't want you. He doesn't care about you. So I would have these panic attacks very often when I would drink. And I'm also very like, not secretive, but like seclusive person. I guess you would say. I don't know what the right word is, but I don't like to share with other people. Like it would always just be me to myself. When I'm alone, that's when I can let it all out, you know, like when everyone's asleep.

33:33 Like anytime I would drink, I'm crying myself to sleep when everyone's asleep and alone and I'm alone. And it's like these thoughts would just race through my mind. Everything that I've been through would play. It's like a movie would play in my head of every traumatic thing I ever went through. I graduate high school, you know, still living the same life and everything.

33:55 Me and my boyfriend end up getting our own place together at 18. And our house kind of came like the party house for a while and, you know, partying, doing, smoking weed, you know, other drugs, you know, lots of things. And at I was 19, we decided we wanted to have a baby. So I became pregnant with my daughter, who's 5 now.

34:31 And I had like a sense of fulfillment for a moment. I was like, this is my purpose. This is what I'm supposed to do, Which I always felt as a young kid, like being a mother. I had no interest in anything else. Being a mother is what I want to do. And a lot of my family was not supportive of that.

34:54 Yeah. Because I'm the only child in of my mom's that even graduated high school. My parents didn't even graduate high school. Like it was a very big deal. So I guess they looked at me having a child at that young of age as like, I'm not going to be able to, you know, go to college or like have a career.

35:16 But I knew that's what I wanted to do. And if it failed me being pregnant, I was probably like the happiest I'd ever been in a long time. So it's like a moment of happiness. And then when I, I was probably like 6 months pregnant, actually in the beginning of my pregnancy, my mom got very sick, which on and off through my childhood, my mom was sick a lot. She had, she had a disease that came from drug use and so she was sick on and off.

36:01 So it wasn't a big deal to me that she was sick, you know, like it would happen for seasons. And it got really bad, her sickness. And it got to a moment where I was like, maybe this is a lot more serious this time. And when I was six months pregnant, Hospice was called in and she was moved to a Hospice facility. And during that time, it was like, it was like in a movie where everything's frozen.

36:38 Like, you're frozen, but life is still going on around you. That's literally how it felt. Like this isn't real. There's no way. I'm about to have my first child and going through all these changes, and my mom is going to die. There's no way. Absolutely no way. Yeah. So she ended up passing away and it was that was like the epitome of rock bottom for me. I hit rock bottom so hard, but I had to be strong because I'm pregnant and I've got this new life ahead of me. I'm about to become a mother.

37:16 And so I don't even think I properly like grieved my mom. It was kind of like a shell shock, like there's no way this just happened. And so I spent a lot of time with my Nana after that, after I had my child. Like she was my backbone. She was help me through all the motherhood things. You know, I had postpartum anxiety severely, like so bad I got no sleep.

37:44 Fast forward to a few months later, I get a call from my brother that my Nana is in the hospital and that she had a stroke. I know for a lot of people this sounds like like normal, you know, they're old, you know, but like my Nana, you would look at her and probably think she's like 50 years old. She's constantly running around going here go and they're like, it was just, I've never seen her sick in my life ever. And it was so hard.

38:19 I walked in. Five months later, I'm walking into the same place. I saw my mom pass away and now it's my Nana, my best friend, and I remember walking in and just falling to the floor because I've never seen her sick. And I, it was really, really hard for me. And after that, my whole family, we just stopped talking. Everyone stopped talking.

38:54 There was no family gatherings anymore. It's like everything I loved had been ripped away from me. Everything. And it seemed to be a pattern in my life. My dad gone, my mom, this dream of me having a dad again with my soon to be stepdad gone. My mom got everything was just like I was like nothing in my life ever. Everything's taken away.

39:23 If there's something bad that's going to happen, it's going to happen to me. That was my mindset. And so, yeah, I was so depressed and just like lost and I started reaching out to mediums. Yeah, Why I I was scrolling on Facebook and I saw a very popular, I didn't know he is popular medium on my Facebook account.

39:54 And he was talking about how it was like him talking to someone else about their loved 1 and I saw their reaction and I was like wow, this has to be real. Like their reaction is real. That's real. So you thought you could connect with your mom and grandma? 100% And I remember it was like a Zoom call where like you would pay for this ticket to this Zoom call and there were hundreds of other people in there and if he picked you, he picked you. If not, you'd have to pay again.

40:28 And I did it like 3 times and not once did he ever pick me. And I think that was all God like 100% but it wasn't enough. I kept going, I kept searching. I was like I'm going to get in contact with them. I need this, I need to hear from them. I have to. So I'm scrolling on TikTok one day and this live of this lady doing tarot cards is on TikTok. So I stopped and I was like said my name like pick me you know? And she said she was only doing one free one and she picked me and I was like Oh my God.

41:06 Like I was so happy. And she told me all these things about like how butterflies which butterflies is mine and my mom's thing. I mean, I even have it tattooed on my arm of my mom and all these things about a lot of it didn't make sense, but I was like, yeah, I I could see that, you know, like said, like one of them was like dealt with alcohol addiction and I was like, no, like some of it just didn't add up. But then there were parts of it that was true, like the butterfly and like just little things that were like, oh, yeah, that makes sense.

41:51 That's her like reaching out to me. And. Yeah. But deep down, I knew because my mom, I knew that what I was doing was all right. But I was like, maybe I've just been so sheltered that and maybe this is real. Maybe we can talk to the dead. Yeah. So that led me down a rabbit hole of always needing more, always wanting to talk to them more.

42:18 And I even remember like I would lay in bed or like be driving down the road and I would ask like, it sounds so creepy. I was laying in bed one night and I was talking, it's late at night, very late. No one's awake but me. And I was like talking to my grandma. And I was like, can you just come sit with me or come hold my hand or something like that? And I like my bed, like, creaked, like somebody sat down on it.

42:54 Or like, I would smell perfume, like my Nana's perfume, just little things like that that would make me think it was real. Like, yeah, I'm talking to them. I would talk to them all the time. Like they were right next to me. Yeah. So I mean, even from the beginnings of this, you can clearly see as we look at it from a stepping back a little more of an overall perspective just instances all, each one of the things that you describe are all instances of you being pulled further from God.

43:30 Yeah, 100%. Every single one of them given an opportunity to draw near to God or move further from Him, you're taking the path of moving further from Him. I was so mad at him, so mad at him. I hate him. For for allowing the circumstances to happen, yes. OK, so I mean, if you had to look at things now, going from where you were, is it you know, spirit filled 8 year old to this place of now you know, you've had all of this with your mom and your grandmother passing away. You're now, you know, contacting mediums. What do you think?

44:19 I mean, if you had to attribute that descent away from God to something, what would you say? These were just my choices. Would you say my circumstances pulled me in that direction or would you say demonic spiritual influence bread crumbed me away from God? If you had to look at it objectively now, and I'm I'm sure it's not an absolute one or. The other.

44:53 But where do you? Where do you go? I think it was definitely demonic, like 100%. And there was like this in my mind because my mom was the outcast and she was weird. Now Christianity is weird to me. Christianity is lame. Being that devoted to God is weird. You're a weirdo. And I want to be cool. I want to be accepted and I want to fit in. So I'm going to reject that because why? Why do I need that?

45:24 Why do I have to follow these rules? And I can't do this, and I can't do that and be this perfect little person with a neatly tied bow. No, I'm not going to do that. It was rebellion. Well, you bought You bought the world's misconceptions of Christianity. 100%. So as a Christian now, do you see those as oppressive rules? And it's no fun.

45:48 I mean, how do you see Christianity now in in through your current lens? Christianity to me now is freedom, like those rules that God has put in place isn't to tie you down, it's to free you. Yeah, so that's not what people are taught so young. Aaliyah is like BS on that. 100%, yeah. So we're buying the lie.

46:17 It's understandable to want to be able to connect with your deceased loved one. Yeah, right. You love them, you miss them. You may have regrets, you may have, you want to know things that may be they're in a position now to know. And so the allure is the hope of connecting with them. Yeah. But I mean, I think you probably understand you're not even if you feel like you are potentially experiencing him, them, it's not them that you're experiencing, no.

46:55 It's a literal demonic entity. That is taking on the attributes of your loved one to make you think that you are indeed communicating with them further taking you by the hand away from God 100%. So you're not in a good spot now? No, in this part of the story, I mean, thank God you're here with me now.

47:21 You're not here because you're still there, right? Which is great, but it that spot, I mean you are. Yeah, I'm at rock bottom. Well, you're, you're in a real dark place. Yeah. And then you're in such a dark place that there doesn't appear to be any potential source of light in your life. No whatsoever. You are just dependent on the darkness. You're you're summoning the darkness. Yeah, I almost enjoyed the darkness. Yeah, I mean, you're, you're intentionally listening to depressing, sad music to take you further into that place that is.

47:57 A Yes. That's a straight up like demonic thing. That right. That's that's like, hey, let's, let's get you as low as possible. Maybe we can get you so low in such a dark place that you can, I don't know, consider unaliving yourself. It's the same thing like when as Christians we listen to worship music and we uplift our spirit with like praising God. That's the same thing.

48:24 I was just doing the opposite 100%. Paul teaches us whatever's pure, whatever's lovely, whatever's true. Think on these things, right, To lift yourself into more of a, yeah, heavenly related place. If you continuously choose the other way, you're, you're, you're, you're taking yourself to hell. Let's be honest about what that is.

48:49 And if I am a demon or a group of demons, you know, here's this girl at 8 years old who has had her mother praying over her, anointing her, filled with the Holy Spirit. This girl at nine years old is praying, healing, and seeing it happening. She is a powerful agent for the Kingdom that we got to stop this.

49:18 So we got to we, we got to, we got to pay attention to her and let's really get her off of this path. You see that 100%, yeah. I can, I can see it in your whole story. You gave a lot of detail there. And I mean, it's just pretty clear. So tell me how it went from from there. I mean, now you're, you're summoning mediums and, and just darker and darker. So after during that time, I really like I was so mad at God and I had came back to the fact that God was real, obviously, because now I needed hope that he was real. If I'm going to see them again, I need to know that he's real. So I finally accepted that fact that he is real. Because if he's not, then all hope is lost. I will never see actually see

50:17 them again. Yeah. So I'm extremely mad at God, but I am reaching out to mediums and all this stuff. So I start going to church here and there, not because I want to get closer to God, but because I want to please my mom. I was like, if I want to please my mom, I, I, I'm going to go to church because that's where I know, like I can feel her. That was the whole point.

50:49 So we'd go to church off and on, not regularly at all. And in 2022, I think it was actually, I think it was the end very beginning at 2022, I'm scrolling through Facebook late at night and I see a video. It was like a live broadcast of the church I grew up in. And it said North Georgia Revival. And I was like, that's weird.

51:25 What is that? Like, I know that's the church I grew up in, but what is the North Georgia Revival? And so I'm sitting there and I'm watching and I'm seeing all these people get baptized and like experiencing the Holy Spirit. And something in me was like, you need to go. And keep in mind, I'm not going to church regularly. Like I just felt this insane pull to go. So the next Sunday we went to church and then I was talking to my fiance and I was like, listen, there's this church. I just want to go.

52:01 I want to check it out. Haven't been there since I was a kid. So I just want to go and I there's a preacher preaching and he did an altar call and everything he was saying was me. You've been running from God. Your life is like all the things I'm feeling, he's saying. And so, but I also felt this pull in my mind like, you're already saved. Why are you about to go up there and give your life to Jesus? You're saved.

52:40 You don't need to go up there. But I did it anyways. I ran up there to the altar when he gave the salvation call. And yeah. And then I was like, I'm going to get in the water. I'm going to get baptized. That night. Yeah, that night, yeah. So my mom's best friend and her daughter is my like, childhood best friend. We're like sisters.

53:07 I sat with them and like, I think them being there was like admit everything to me. They were like, it was like old times again, you know, like a part of my mom was there anyway, so she like takes me to the back and I'm about to get in the pool to get baptized. And I'm like, in my head, I'm like, why are you doing this? Like, why are you getting baptized? Like, what's the point of this?

53:34 But I was just doing it. I didn't even know I was. I was just doing it. And they pray for you before you get in the pool. And this guy looks at me, who is now not coincidental enough, is our marriage class pastor. Yeah. And he looks at me and he goes, God just wants me to tell you that he forgives you.

53:57 And I just looked at him and I felt rage. I felt so mad. I was like, why are you telling me that? I didn't say anything. I just looked at him. But inside I was fuming. I don't know why I was mad, but I was so mad. So I get in the water and he like prophesized over me like he's like all the things you've been running from and like, I'm I'm going to give you your song back.

54:28 I'm going to give you your dance back and like I've prepared a table for you to eat at. The longer will the voucher come and eat from your table like all these things. And when he said you're going to get your song back, it hit me because that's something God that has always placed on my heart is worship and singing. And like, he wouldn't know that like that how much that meant to me.

54:55 Like he was just saying all these things. And I'm just like bawling and I get baptized and I like, I don't know, just God's this peace just like came over me and I'm just laying in the pool and this lady who I don't even know is holding me. And like, yeah, it was, I didn't even know how to put words into it.

55:17 But at the same time, I'm still hearing like, this is fake. You're not really experiencing God right now. This is fake. But I couldn't deny what I was feeling. It was such a tug of war in my head between this is God and he actually loves you and he actually wants what's best for you. And he, he's not mad at you. And this is fake.

55:48 You're doing this. It's all you. He doesn't want you. It was like a tug of war in my head. What do you think was going on there? I think he was wanting to give me that piece I was looking for, but I just didn't know how to receive it. I really didn't. It's almost like I didn't want it, Like I wanted the darkness more than I wanted to. OK, So what do you think's going on there? Because as an observer, All right, as an observer sitting over here, not emotionally experiencing your life like you're experiencing as I would watch, you know, a murder mystery on TV.

56:37 I'm trying to look at the whole picture a little bit. I mean, you're in the water to get baptized and a rage overcomes you. Yeah, it's demonic. It's so demonic. I mean, right, yes, so demonic. And so as I listen to the story of of of your life, the decision to recommit your life to Christ is wonderful.

57:04 The decision to commit our life to Christ doesn't. From my conversations with many people and I my own experience, who doesn't rid you of active partnerships with the with the demonic? No 100%. I think there's work to be done that I think is found in repentance. I mean, we deliverance is as a much more spoken about conversation today of actually ejecting those. But but all of even deliverance is there's the process is really rooted around confessing, you know, confessing our sins to one another.

57:57 So I don't know that you had a season of confessing that you've described so far where you have really opened up the the packaging, so to speak, on how this stuff has gotten footholds in your. Life. So at that baptism, I opened up a tiny bit. I was very like secretive. Also, I want to keep in mind and preface that when I walked into that church or church in general, I felt disgusting about myself.

58:33 Like all these righteous people and they're better than me, and here I am have to put on a pretty face that'll look perfect. Who's speaking to you there, right? Yeah, 100. Percent. So who's speaking? Who's speaking that to you? Whose voice is that? Right? It's very clear. Yeah. Right. Who's speaking to you? What is this guy saying to me?

58:56 You know, I think he's probably saying to everybody, God Forgives you, right? It's like, I don't think he picked you out because he knew your. No, I didn't know him at all. But you know you felt that, right? So is that you just you being a jerk or is that something in you trying to get you out of?

59:12 There, yeah, 100%. You see that, I see it as that and I think there's a lot of people that are watching this that say that's straight up what's going on, especially when you understand and it's like, OK, but she's getting baptized. So, so the baptism, you would think, OK, she's committing herself a lot of Christ and the baptism, when she comes up, she should be free from that. It should be washing all that stuff away. And she should she should no longer be hearing these voices that she's, you know, filled with shame. And what are the other things that you felt like as you came out of that water or as you were in in that? Shame.

59:46 Rejection I mean. Still there, not broken free of, no, but still carrying after you come up out of the water. I had so many open doors though. I'm still actively smoking weed every day, still actively drinking on the weekends. So this is a real controversial thing, right? There. Yeah, there's, there's going to be a lot of, and you know, there's a sanctification process, right? You got a lot of, we call it muscle memory, right, In that, in that realm, right.

1:00:14 Unless you a supernatural thing occurs, then you know that doesn't just happen. You you work your way out of that. A lot of times I've heard the supernatural occurring then and just like it was gone instantly and that's cool man. But as a sanctification process also of of what life begins to look like as you follow Jesus and it gets better and better over time.

1:00:37 But the controversial thing here is this conversation around OK, she's getting baptized. The demonic should have been gone and flee and have fled right there. But yet you're clearly there's evidence that eating the water up out of the water and immediately post this, you are still carrying demonic influence personalities in your person as a baptized believer committed to Christ who has been filled with the Holy Spirit. I can't tell you how many comments have come through on YouTube just categorically saying no. No spirit filled truly born again person can have a demon. And, and I also can tell you that every single deliverance minister that I've ever spoken to has said that's not true. Yeah.

1:01:39 That's just not true. I mean, I in theory, it sounds good. Yeah. But in in experience, that's just not true. And it it's it's really interesting for you because you would think, OK, she just got baptized. All that's going to get washed away. Now the question is, is she going to partner with it again from this point forward? You're not saying that.

1:01:59 You're saying in the water. Yeah. It was still there. Yeah. So what happened after you got baptized? So I get baptized, had this amazing experience, go home. Nothing changes nothing in my life other than the sense of conviction. A small like a little bit more conviction when I would do the things that I was doing, but I kind of just ignored them. You know, I was like, but I kind of like this more than I didn't understand.

1:02:38 I was like, how does this all work? So I got baptized. Now what? What do I do? Yeah, well, the good news is, if you've done those things and religion teaches you, it's like, who cares? I'm saved. Yes, exactly. Right. Isn't the objective to go to heaven when I die? Box checked. Yeah, exactly. So let's just move on. Keep going with life.

1:03:02 Isn't that what we do and say 100% and we don't we don't have a concept of of the abundant life God has for us while we are on the earth. Yeah. Perfect. No, no, without difficulty in trial. No. But abundant life nonetheless. We just think we just we just punched our ticket back to heaven. Yeah. You know, whenever I die.

1:03:26 Yeah, and that's what I was doing. I was checking the box. OK, I'm going to church. I'm doing this. But eventually that church, it wasn't enough. It never is enough. You have to have that relationship and I didn't have that. I didn't know how to have that. I don't even truly think I was interested in it at the moment.

1:03:50 I think that encounter was truly just God being like, I'm running, I'm chasing you, you're not going to escape. Yeah. So a few weeks later, I actually found out I was pregnant with my son, which is kind of cool because I was like, baptized while I was pregnant. So yeah, so obviously I'm pregnant. So I had to stop all the things I was doing.

1:04:20 No, you don't. No, I mean no, Yeah. It's true, it's advisable for sure for the health of the baby and and you, but some people don't. But I stopped smoking, stopped drinking. But yeah, nothing changed. We weren't really going to church. We were in the beginning, and then we kind of stopped going to church as my pregnancy went on.

1:04:42 No particular reason, we just stopped going. And so like 2 years pass. My son is probably a year old and it's getting close to September. I just had my birthday and you know, life just keeps going. I'm still depressed, still anxious. Yeah, all the things. Nothing has left, nothing has changed. And one night I go to sleep just like any other night, nothing special.

1:05:19 And I have a dream. And before I say this, I want to give context. I, as a child, had dreams that would come to pass. For example, one that made me realize, OK, this is weird was I was seven years old, maybe maybe 8, and I had a dream that my brother went to a party and I can still picture it to this day.

1:05:52 And at this party, cops showed up and my brother's getting put in handcuffs. And I wake up and my sister is visiting from Florida. So she's there and my mom, they're in the kitchen, and I tell them this dream, and they look at each other and their mouths are wide open. And I'm like, what? I just had like, what's the big deal? And they're like, he is going to a party this weekend. So my mom tells my brother the dream. I tell my brother the dream.

1:06:26 And he's like, you know, whatever. OK, what happens? He goes to the party. He gets arrested. Yeah. And they're like, as a child, they were little, like nothing like that, but just little things that would I have a dream and then all of a sudden there happened. So dreams for me were always like something like I could tell when a dream. I remember that dream specifically. It felt different, like, like I was there like in a movie. It's different from just having a dream, like a, you know, we have weird dreams all the time and nothing special about it. You know, we forget them, half of them when we wake up. That dream felt so real, like I was there. So I have this dream and in the stream, I'm standing on a hill. I'm in the town we live in and

1:07:25 I'm standing on this hill and I'm looking out and I can see our whole town and there's this airplane and I'm carrying my son. And all of a sudden I look out into the sky and there's this dark tunnel in the sky and I see little beams of light being shut up into the sky. And I'm standing there and I didn't say anything in my dream, but it's like I could knew what I was thinking in this dream.

1:07:59 I'm thinking, Oh no, what have I done? Why am I being left behind? I knew that in the dream that God was calling his people up almost like a rapture dream. And I'm standing there like, Oh no, but I'm like, all these thoughts are running through my head, but I'm saved. Why am I not going? Like what have I done?

1:08:32 I was just standing there knowing that my fate was not going to be with God in heaven. So I wake up from the stream and immediately I'm like, what was that? And I start thinking all morning. I'm thinking about this dream. It will not leave my head. And I remember being in the car with my fiance and telling him about my dream. And I was like, I don't know, like, I think we should start going to church again.

1:09:09 Let's start going to church. And he's like, OK, let's go. So we start going to church. And I'm starting to really listen to what they're saying and starting to really question the statement that once saved, always saved. And I'm like, but I believe in God. I said the salvation prayer. I am going to like, I'm going to go to heaven. But in my heart, deep down, I knew after that dream, no, I've got to make a decision either.

1:09:57 I stay like this and I play church and I Playhouse and or I truly see what this is all about. And so I did that and this progressed over a few months and I'm starting to really, really listen to what the preachers are saying with their preaching. And in October, Halloween time, I made a decision on this. I don't recommend this, but I said OK, there was a Halloween party that we were going to and I told God. I said this is the last night I will ever drink and I will ever smoke.

1:10:47 This is it. So I did that and I committed myself to not drinking again because I was starting to feel conviction about drinking and about smoking weed. And a friend of mine got in a really tough position and needed a place to stay for a couple weeks. And I think not anything against her, I love her to death, but I think it was a tactic of the enemy to get me to pull back over here because she was still living that lifestyle.

1:11:32 She's still smoking. And I did give in a few times, but it's like I felt so nasty when I did. Like I would get this overwhelming anxiety and panic and paranoia. I'd be so paranoid of everything when I would smoke, so anxious to the point where there would be nights I'd be laying in bed and literally be like, I might end up having to go to the hospital because my heart is literally going to jump out of my chest.

1:12:09 And so she eventually leaves and I completely stop that. I'm done smoking, I'm done drinking, I'm done with all of it. And I bought a Bible for not the first time, but the first time of me being serious about reading the Bible. So I get my Bible and I dedicate a time to read it. I wake up early in the morning and I'm sitting at my table and I didn't even know where to start. Anytime I had tried to read the Bible, I started in Genesis. And I was like, OK, I don't understand any of this at all, so I'd give up.

1:12:56 And so I looked it up on TikTok. I was like, where's the best place to start in the Bible? And almost everyone said Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. So I started in the Gospels and I'm reading about Jesus's life and everything. And the part that struck me the most when I got to this, and I can't even tell you how long I had been reading the Bible.

1:13:23 It probably been like a week, maybe 2, and I'm reading about forgiveness and I read the verse that talks about if you do not forgive others, your Father in heaven cannot forgive you. And I was like, Oh my goodness. And in that moment I laid it all out to Jesus. I forgave my father. I didn't audibly say it. I didn't audibly say anything.

1:13:53 I just made-up my mind I'm going to forgive him. And I think that's the first time and since I was 8 years old that I felt an overwhelming sense of God's presence. I was weeping so hard. And after that moment, my dad actually called me. And we hadn't talked in, like, a year. We would go years without talking. I wouldn't know where he was.

1:14:37 Yeah. And he called me. And when we would talk, we wouldn't really. Like, it was like, hey, you know, like nothing. Because I was so mad at him. I was so resentful. I resented him. But after I forgave him, we developed a relationship. We never had a relationship ever. And it was like all those years, 20, I don't know, 22 years of built up anger and resentment towards him. It's was just like wiped away.

1:15:13 And I didn't see him as the man who abandoned me or the man who chose this lifestyle over being a father to me. I saw him as God's son. That's how I viewed him. God's son who had been through things that made him go down the path he chose, things that happened to him as a result, as Wyatt, like how he is today or was.

1:15:43 So we started to develop a relationship and he got clean and we still have an amazing relationship today. And that would have never happened, I truly believe, if I would not have forgave him. There's a lot in the things that you've gotten to thus far. You know, we, we talked earlier about the tactic of the enemy of hey, she's getting baptized.

1:16:10 All this stuff. We're going to, we got to restrict her. We got to keep her from it, but we didn't talk about is the way God is moving in right? He's he he's taking over more territory with you. He's opening doors and creating this sudden urge to go to this revival and you, you, you got a baptism and you participated here and and these ways that he is drawing you to himself.

1:16:44 Scripture teaches us mostly in the parable of the prodigal son. But in every other place, it's like the father was waiting and saw the one that the son in the distance and ran to him. He was ready to bring him. The son had to turn, but he had to bring him in. Jesus says in Revelations, I stand at the at the door and knock.

1:17:08 Just open the door. I'm here, I'm at your door. And so as you are describing the, the sort of transition from darkness into light and and still hanging on to dark throughout your initial transformation, I just keep seeing God saying, I'm going to, I'm going to put this open this door for her and we're going to work her into this eye opening this buying a Bible. Yeah, I don't know, even I just felt this conviction like that dream truly scared me.

1:17:53 Truly. Yeah. And throughout this whole thing, I mean, if you did a search on places in Scripture in the New Testament that offer instructions for salvation, John 316 you know, God's loved the world. He gave his only son. Whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. In Romans it says that if you confess with your tongue, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart, He was raised from the dead, you will be saved.

1:18:30 When Jesus is asked about it, it was like, you know, how do you? What are the keys to eternal life? He talks about following the commandments. I think the most the one that impacts me the most is the words of Jesus in John 17. John 17 three is one of my favorite pieces of scripture. It's the high priestly prayer.

1:18:56 This is what's this is the night before the night he was arrested and then led to the crucifixion. In John 17 is an entire chapter of Jesus praying to God which is really unreal. You should go read that if. That's actually the scripture God gave me this morning, John 17 when I woke up. Is that right? I'm so serious, he said.

1:19:21 Read John 17. So I did. Yeah, that's amazing, huh? And John 17 three says, this is Jesus saying, and this is eternal life, that they know you, the one true God in Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. And then you think of a few of the parables Jesus told he's like people would say, Lord, we did all these things in your name. And he says, get away.

1:19:53 I. Never knew you. I never knew you and when we think that our eternal salvation is locked up in. Doing a couple of things that are religious in nature and it doesn't consist of knowing God. I think we're making a big mistake there. I think we also substitute knowing about God with knowing God. So I mean, imagine I don't know who's a famous person. Carrie Underwood.

1:20:38 Carrie Underwood, right? If you follow Carrie Underwood, got the albums, got the playlist on Spotify, watch the interviews, everything that she's done, she's like, I know Carrie Underwood, right? If you got face to face with Carrie Underwood, would she say, hey, Aaliyah, or would she say, I don't know you? I'm Carrie.

1:21:03 Yep. We think we know God and a lot of times when we hear about him or maybe even read about him. But do you know him? Have you had a conversation with him? Have you given, made a commitment of your life to Him? Have you experienced Him? I think we got to ask that question because knowing about God is not the same thing as knowing God.

1:21:25 And when Jesus says this is eternal life, that they know you, I feel like your dream was telling you Aaliyah. You don't know me. You. Don't know me? Nope. I think it shook you. It did. It really did. And you stopped or or you started saying I got to know him. And when you get into that place of commitment, yeah, I would not advise holding off the most satanic holiday of all time, right. To go consume more of the things that had pulled you from God. And I'll get to you after that.

1:22:06 Yeah, thankfully it worked out later, but but but anyway, you made a commitment and then when you open Scripture, it it spoke to you. It did. It wasn't a confusing text. That doesn't make any sense. That's outdated. Suddenly your eyes are opened right? And you and, and now you're getting to know God and interesting that he took you to the scripture right away that pointed to forgiveness.

1:22:46 Forgiveness. Talk to any deliverance minister. It's the chief problem in demonic oppression. We get offended. Somebody offends us, whether it's a family member. It could be an egregious offense. It could be a small offense or, you know, somebody in traffic or whatever. We get offended and we hold it.

1:23:05 We don't release it. So cool that he took you straight to forgiveness. Yeah. And you were like, oh, my gosh, my dad. Yeah. And then when you did, all of a sudden, the dam that was holding freedom, like, began to burst forth. And all of a sudden. Yeah. And it amazing that shortly after that your dad calls you. Yes, yeah, yeah.

1:23:37 And all of a sudden, like, I'm able to talk to him. Like, I couldn't even barely speak to him before I forgave him. Like I couldn't. It was like all I wanted to do on the inside was scream at him and tell him how much he hurt me. But after I forgave him, all I wanted to do was show him love. That's all I wanted to do. And as I'm reading the Bible, I think this is so important. I'm not just reading it and being like, OK, yeah, I get that.

1:24:09 I am writing to God. Everything I read, like when it came to forgiveness or being saved, I remember I just recently read the first journal entry I ever put and I wrote down and I'm like praying to God, but I'm journaling to him, like writing him a letter. And I asked him, I invited him into my life to make me clean, to do whatever he wanted to do.

1:24:41 I invited him in before, whenever I would read the Bible or whatever, I was just reading it. There was no application. There was no OK God, what do you want me to know about this? Like I truly was taking the Scripture and then writing a prayer about Holy Spirit. You come in and you do whatever. I just read.

1:25:07 Do that in me. And he did. That is amazing. Yeah, that is so cool. Yes, there's something that happens that causes us to transition from reading an ancient text to realizing that it is God speaking to you in the moment. Yeah, 100%. That hits different that that like, it's kind of like a a droplet of water that, you know, is sitting on a paper towel for a second, then all of a sudden it just like absorbs down in it. Yeah.

1:25:48 You know what I'm saying? You can feel that, Yeah. And that's a different thing. That's knowing God. That's knowing God. Yeah. You have a hard time knowing God if you're not in His Word. Oh yeah. Because he speaks to you so richly through it, speaks to us so richly through it. He speaks to us in lots of ways. And so this is really a powerfully insightful truth of connecting with God in the world. Did did did you get healed of an incurable disease and that caused you?

1:26:32 All right, A lot of times we'll have people on here who've had very pronounced events or whatever. I mean, I think we can probably point to a few times where God really invaded your space and gave you peace. Think the deliverance thing. And but this, this moment, right here, the way he did it through Scripture.

1:26:54 Which I never thought would happen because I hated reading, absolutely hated it, but I could not get enough of it. So what happened after you forgave your dad and you you began to immerse yourself in your Bible? So me and my dad are we have a relationship and I start getting convicted of more things like cursing and I had a mouth on me like every other word was a cuss word F bomb you know and slowly every time I would say a cuss word it was like.

1:27:32 Like you. Could feel it. Couldn't. Yeah. It was like, oh, that doesn't feel right. So he starts slowly transforming me and through this, I, it's like my eyes were open to other things as well, like other people around me. And like also on my TikTok feed, all of a sudden stuff about deliverance is popping up on my TikTok. I'm like, well, that's strange.

1:28:05 I've heard about deliverance. My mom talked about deliverance, never really knew what it was. And I'm seeing these videos of people getting delivered. I'm like, hmm, that looks real, but I don't know. But I'm also reading in the Scripture that Jesus cast out demons, so surely it's real. Yeah. So I started looking more into that. I almost like, I wouldn't say, became obsessed with it, but it was like my, I just wanted to know more. I was like, what is this?

1:28:44 What is this? And yeah, so also during this time, anytime I would read the Bible or just play worship music getting ready or around my house, I would hear voices in my head blaspheming, cursing God. Like what? Like F God, you hate God, Like I mean terrible, disgusting, vulgar things. And I would feel I didn't know at the time that it wasn't me, but I'd be like repenting for it. Like God, I'm so sorry.

1:29:29 I'd take these thoughts. I don't know what these are. Take these thoughts away from me. I don't think that about you. Like terrible, disgusting things and umm, but at the same time I would have these moments. Like I remember 1 moment I was in my bathroom and all of a sudden I'm just weeping. I was just, you know, cleaning up. I'm a mom, so, you know, cleaning up is what I do for 90% of my day and I'm just weeping.

1:30:04 And it's like his presence just like encountered me out of nowhere. And that would happen periodically. It's almost like he was giving me those doses, like keep going, keep going, like I'm here, I'm right with you. And there is also moments where I'm sitting at my table reading my word. And I didn't know it then, but now I know it was God speaking to me, Holy Spirit speaking to me.

1:30:34 And I heard I have a purpose for you. You have a call on your life and I love you and I'm just weeping and weeping and weeping. And then all of a sudden I'm like, that's your voice, that's your thoughts. God does have a purpose for you. You don't have a call in your life. You're not special. But it was like this tug of war battle.

1:30:58 But at this point, God's voice and God's pool is stronger than the enemies. So Fast forward to it's like 3-4 months later and the North Georgia Revival, the church where I first, you know, got baptized at, they were having a women's conference. So I was like, I'm going to go to that. And I invited a bunch of my friends and none of them could seem to make it.

1:31:32 I now know God wanted me to go alone. It was important that I was alone and it's like a three day conference. So we're at this conference and I'm the whole weekend I'm sitting with my mom's best friend. Her name's Amanda and her daughter is my childhood best friend. So I'm sitting with them. So I kind of feel somewhat, you know, like comfortable now. Church still felt awkward for me. It still felt weird.

1:32:00 I wasn't the type to be like raising my hands in church and like, you know, it just felt weird. I didn't understand why. It just didn't feel right. But I knew that I needed to be there. Like, I wanted more. I was so thirsty. I needed more. But so I fought that uncomfortability. And I'm sitting there and it's the last day of the conference. Actually, let me go back.

1:32:26 It's the second day of the conference and our pastor's wife is preaching about ministering to God. And she did this whole sermon about how important it is to minister to God, to tell him how thankful if you are to just sit and minister to him instead of us always receiving, receiving, receiving minister to God. And I was like, what?

1:32:52 And she had everyone get on their like kneel at their chair or kneel on the floor. And for like 15 minutes every, all the women were just ministering to God. And the presence of God flooded the room. And I was so honest with God. I kneeled down and I said, I don't know what I'm doing right now, but I'm going to try.

1:33:15 I need your help because I don't know what I'm doing right now. This is so weird to me. This feels very uncomfortable. I feel like everyone's staring at me. No one was staring at me, but yeah. So after that, my mom's best friend comes up and she hugs me. And when she's hugging me, she said it's OK to miss your mom and your Nana OK to miss them. And as she was hugging me, she like prayed over me in tongues. And I wanted to weep right there. I did it.

1:33:57 I held it back, but I wanted to. And so we leave and I'm on my way home and it's like I felt like, not like I had to throw up, but something in my stomach did not feel right. Not like I was sick, but it just felt weird, like she stirred something up in me and I didn't know what it was at all. I had no clue what was happening.

1:34:25 But I think she also said that because I knew, I think God knew I needed to hear that because I had pushed all of my feelings of my Nana and my mom aside. Because I felt like if I focus on those, then I don't know. Like the darkness will come back. Like I can't focus on them right now. I forgave God for that happening. So almost like I can't even describe it. Like if I tell God how much I miss my mom and how much that hurt me, that's all I will focus on. I won't focus on him anymore or growing my relationship. That will become my center focus again. So I kind of just like put that in the back of my mind. So when she said that, it was like like God was like, it's OK to miss them you.

1:35:23 It's OK to have feelings. So the next day I'm on my way to the morning part of the conference and I'm just in my car and I'm talking to God. And I said, God, I want to know that you love me. Everyone says you love me, you love us, but how do I know that you love me? Like that's all you hear. Jesus loves you.

1:35:54 And I'm like, OK, sure. But like, how do I know that? Yes, there's scripture that obviously the whole Bible is God's love letter to us, but it just wasn't clicking in my head because nobody loved me and my childhood. So how do you love me? So? And as I'm saying that, I didn't realize it, but I got a picture in my head and it was of a heart and it's cracked all over.

1:36:27 The whole heart is just like cracked into pieces, almost like it was taped together, like it should be broken. And I didn't think anything of it. I really didn't focus on it at all. You just had a. It was just a picture that popped her head. Yeah, almost like when you think of like an animal, you picture that animal in your head.

1:36:46 It was like that. I didn't think anything of it at all. So I get their conference is going great. The last they preached on the prodigal son, which really hit home because I remember her saying when the prodigal son had gone out and spent all that the father had given him, and he's thinking he's going to come back home and the father is going to be mad and ashamed of him.

1:37:19 But the father comes running and throws his robe over him. It just like hit me. I was like, that's how he sees me. Like, sorry I didn't serve that love. I felt so nasty. But that's how he sees me. He's glad I'm in here. He's glad I'm coming back to him. I spent all that I had been given and he still wants me to come back. So and then the last person get up, gets up to preach. And she was going to preach on the prodigal son too. Yeah.

1:38:03 So it's such a God ordained everything about that. And instead she just starts speaking. And she was like, everyone had their hands raised. And she was like, I just feel the Lord is going to deliver people tonight. And when she said that, my hand shook. And I was like, that was weird. I didn't think anything of it. I was like, that was odd.

1:38:31 Yeah. So she gets down. People are starting to get into the water to get baptized. And I was going to ask for prayer because they have like an altar team that comes up after the service is over and they all stand there at the altar. And if you need prayer, you go up to one of the prayer ministers.

1:38:50 And Amanda, my mom's best friend, who I've been sitting with the whole conference, she was part of the altar team who prays for people. And I'm sitting next to her daughter, my childhood best friend. And I was like, I kind of want prayer. And she was like, go. And I was like, I don't know. I didn't even in my head, I'm like, what do I even say?

1:39:12 I don't know what I need prayer for. I don't know everything. Like there's I don't know. And so she comes and sits down. And she had invited a friend from Florida to come to the conference. I didn't know this lady at all. And this lady brought her daughters who were young, like 1517, very young.

1:39:35 And they sat with us like the whole 3 day conference. I didn't really speak to them at all. And Amanda and her friend are talking about how my mom and Amanda used to go to this church and they would have like prophetic night. And they're just talking about that and how they would get Starbucks and like all this stuff. And this lady looks over me and she goes, your mom. And all of a sudden I'm weeping.

1:40:08 I'm crying so hard that my head is in my knees. I'm weeping so hard. And now she's sitting on one side and Amanda sitting on the other side of me. And they're just like praying over me and. All of a sudden I hear a voice. I can't see anything. My eyes are closed, I'm crying so hard. I hear a voice and it's a woman, a girl, and she's saying you're worthy of my love. You're worthy of love.

1:40:44 I'm so sorry about your mom and about your Nana that they passed. I'm so sorry for all the people have hurt you, but I'm here for you. You've been carrying this weight and it's time to give it to me. And she said, umm, things like, sorry, all the voices in your head, they're going to leave. All the overwhelming thoughts, they're going to leave, just take my hand.

1:41:33 And as she's saying all of this, I'm seeing pictures in my head. I'm seeing a hand reaching out to me. And as she says, take the hand, take the hand. So I'm like, I don't know how to do that, but I'm like, OK. And I start while she's saying all this, I'm still weeping and crying and I start shaking uncontrollably, shaking, and my whole body is hot. I'm sweating profusely.

1:42:11 And all of a sudden it just stops. And I'm just filled with God's peace and his love. Like I knew that I knew that I knew that God loved me. So it's like a good minute, maybe 2, that I'm just laying in the chair with my eyes closed, just like feeling this overwhelming sense of God's presence. So I open my eyes and it's a 17 year old girl who I did not know. I've never talked to her.

1:42:50 She lives in Florida. And I'm just like, what? How did you know all of this? Like, I didn't say that, but I'm like, that was God. I asked, and he came through. He showed me how much He loved me. So I'm sitting there and I'm just like taking it all in, trying to really wrap my head around what had just happened.

1:43:20 And the way I feel it felt like 100 LB weight had been lifted off of me. That's literally what it felt like. Like there was something on my chest. And now it's gone. I can breathe better. And she's sitting there and she's sitting on the floor in front of me. And she starts to say something else and she stops and her mom looks at her and she goes, You want to say something else, don't you? And she looks at me and she goes, God is putting back the broken pieces of your heart, and He's healing them. And when she said that, I saw that picture in my head that I had seen on the way to the conference, and I realized that was him.

1:44:08 He was telling me right there that he loved me. And I just started to weep and cry again. And they prayed over me again, and they prayed for a fresh baptism of the Holy Spirit. And I just felt this heat all over my body. So I get up and I go to the bathroom and I look at myself in the mirror and even my face changed. Like I looked different.

1:44:37 My eyes look brighter. I can't even describe it, but I looked different. I felt different. I felt so different. My mind felt clear. It felt empty. For the first time. I wasn't hearing thoughts in my head like I was 24/7 on replay. Never stopped. Constant. But I heard nothing. Silence. It was weird, but it was so peaceful.

1:45:11 Wow. Yeah. So, you know, the way my mind thinks about situations like this, I'm going to try to get into some weeds just a little bit around some of this stuff. And and part of me like doesn't even want to do that, but part of me knows I have to. Do that. So Amanda and the other lady are on either side of you, and when the other lady had said something about your mom, some emotions overwhelmed you and you buried your head and your knees and you began to weep.

1:45:50 That's when this young girl, not her daughter, right? It was the yeah, it was her friend. 'S daughter, the 17 year olds, the the. The woman from Florida was her daughter. OK. Who was kind of with the group sitting next to you guys for those days actually came over and began to, it was her that was speaking, but she was speaking things that were prophetic.

1:46:17 Yeah, she didn't know. I hadn't. I did not know this girl. They're from Florida. Do you feel like, I mean, because what you're describing on the the after side of this is the freedom from some demonic oppression that in the previous part of our conversation, we felt like, you know, most people would say that would have been addressed back then, but kind of held on through your baptism.

1:46:46 And do you feel like deliverance occurred? 100%. OK, How do you think it happened? I mean, did she step in, take authority and audibly cast things out of you that you recall? Or do you feel like she was an agent of the Holy Spirit who came in and did a spiritual deliverance on you without the audible words of a human?

1:47:22 Yeah, it was all Holy Spirit because there was even a moment when she's speaking and she said all the voices that have been in your head and tormenting you, they're going to leave. So right there I knew. Like, OK, so God knows they're there. They're not me. Then if you know it, like clicked on that moment, like, OK, those aren't me. Those voices aren't me.

1:47:51 But she didn't speak and cast them out. She didn't say. Leave or her mom or anybody there that said be gone in Jesus name. No, she just prophesied that they were going to leave. Is it possible? Let's let's play a little opposition here. Is it possible that you're experiencing a highly emotional moment?

1:48:15 You got your mom's best friend, you got your childhood friend. Everybody's gathered around you in this women's conference in a time where a woman has just said people are going to get freedom or deliverance here. That her saying that you knowing you've had voices, you knowing your picture of a broken heart and that you've been broke, broken hearted, that you just accepted those words as true. Therefore, from now on, I'm not going to have the voices. Therefore, from now on, my heart is going to be mended. I'm going to issue forgiveness.

1:49:06 And that was your transformation. No, no. Tell me how it's not that. I couldn't stop the voices even if I wanted to. I tried. I couldn't have done it. It's nothing I could do. No counselor could stop the voices. Only God himself could stop those voices. And he did. Yeah, in that moment. In the moment.

1:49:37 Yeah, I heard nothing after, and the days following. Nothing. I felt joy for the first time in years. I felt real joy. I believe you. My job is to ask those questions because if there's somebody who doesn't believe in spirituality or even if they count or churchgoers like, OK, it sounds like I want to give you the opportunity to say why it's it is as you describe it. And and you being able to double back on it and say I did everything that I knew how to do to rid myself of these voices, but in this moment, they were gone. Yeah.

1:50:31 And stayed gone. Yeah, never came back. I don't know how you explain that without God. No, you can't. I mean, I think you can come up with some things, but we tried to address those. That's what my questions are for is trying to explain it without God, not to disprove God, but to to prove God. And that's why I asked those questions.

1:50:53 It's what he's charged me with doing. I asked you when we started, tell me how you you've experienced God. I mean, well, there you go, right? So. What would you say to somebody who is where you were? I mean, even people who have gotten baptized, and I mean, this stuff still seems to be lingering around.

1:51:22 I mean, did you just kind of get lucky and the Holy Spirit moved in and did this? Is there some way that you would guide somebody else into actions or a spiritual posture or anything else that says here was my ticket out? I would. I think that encounter started with me asking show me how you love me.

1:51:55 So I would encourage anyone you're doubting or you've never had an encounter with God, ask him. That's all you have to do. May not look like what you want it to look like or how you think it will look like. It'll be better. Yeah. That moment catapulted me into showing others how to get freedom. God laid it on my heart.

1:52:29 Weeks later, start a Bible study. So I started a Bible study. Yeah. Like attending one no or hosting 1. Hosting one at my house. It's just mostly my husband's family, which that's also part of that. Not to backtrack, but after that, my encounter at the women's conference, days later, me and my fiance went to the courthouse and got married because I could not live with the conviction of not being married.

1:53:09 Yeah. How did you feel after you got married? I honestly didn't think I'd feel any different, but we did like we felt united more like bonded more like before it felt fake, like, you know, we got the kids, we have the house, everything. I'm staying at home, you know, like. But when we got married, it felt real. Like we weren't just playing house anymore. It felt real.

1:53:42 We felt united. Yeah. Did you feel like God was telling you to get married? Yeah, 100%. So you getting married was out of obedience to God? Yeah, because I didn't. You can ask my husband. I did not want to get married in the courthouse. I fought him on it. He was fine with it. He wanted to. He just want to marry me. I did not.

1:54:09 I wanted a wedding. I wanted the whole thing. I had the dress, everything. But when God put that conviction in me, I said OK, we'll go to the courthouse and we'll do it. So we did. I've had that happen. That's not how we got married. It's a totally different thing, right? But every now and then God will convict me on something. Not condemning me on something, but said it happened literally yesterday.

1:54:41 It's a crazy thing, you know. As I have pursued God further, I ask him to reveal things that I need to either add or remove that are not honoring him and just in a desire to, to be more pleasing to him, to be more connected to him and, and, and for my whole life, I've been a a music fanatic, all right.

1:55:16 I've played in bands and, and listen to all genres, you know, and then like, you know, up to the 90s and 2000s and, and, and then beyond, there's some pretty vile music. I listen to a lot of vile music and I did it not because I like the vile lyrics, but because the music. It would give you a strong baseline or, you know, I liked an aggressive style or if it was gangster rap or whatever, it would have some punch to it. And yeah, I didn't really get in line with a lot of the lyrics sometimes.

1:55:53 And but it was the music and I just, I mean, ask anybody that knew me, it knows me, right? I mean, back when before CDs were around, you literally had a giant bucket of tapes in my car. That's how old I am, by the way. And CDs were the same thing anyway. So hundreds of CDs. This is way pre Spotify, right? So the.

1:56:15 Napster and all that stuff. You don't even know what Napster is probably. But anyway. But you had to buy CDs, right? And you had a CD player in your car. They still have them in the cars, but they're totally obsolete now. But anyway, I bought, you know, 10s of thousands of dollars in CDs, hundreds and hundreds of them.

1:56:34 And it was like they got to go. They're in your house still. I'm taking them with me and I don't play CDs. I can play whatever on Spotify. But he convicted me the other day is like, get rid of the CDs. There were other things in the house that were from an era when I was just in straight up complicit sin, not pursuing him that were associated with dragging me away from God. And it was this.

1:56:59 It's like you could sell some of those to collectors. And I was like, Nope, Nope, Nope. And and the longer I went without getting rid of them, the more often that conviction would pop up in my head just like out of nowhere. I mean, I'd be with like lunch with my family. And it's like, get rid of the CD. My so I came home from church yesterday. We had lunch and you know, I'll after, you know, all that good Sunday afternoon nap, you're ready for that. It was like, no, now.

1:57:31 And I did. I grabbed tons of boxes of these things. I told my wife, I said, this is what I'm doing. She said great and and, and hauled them off. And so how did I feel after that? I felt aligned more with God. I felt like I'd been obedient and that was a satisfying thing to do what God told me to do. But in that something broke.

1:58:01 Yeah. Where wherever there was this Gray area in our house that's just a old C DS back there and you know, they're they're back in the basement. They're tucked away that I mean, who's even those where they are? They're not we're not like engaging with them anymore. I don't know. I just felt, I truly felt an internal alignment with God. Did you feel that when you got married? Yeah, 100%.

1:58:24 Did you feel that? I mean what? Other things Is he peace? Yeah, yeah. Peace. Like I wasn't living in disobedience to him. I think that's what it is when we are in obedience to God. It's not like, oh shoot, now I've got to stop doing the thing I really enjoyed just to be in obedience to my heavenly Father. OK, whatever.

1:58:44 It's not that. It's like he's like, do it so that you can unlock this piece that I have for you. Yeah, this alignment, this eye opening goodness that you're blocking yourself from by hanging on to this other stop. 100%. It's such a misconception, but when you do it, that's what it is. So I would say to anybody that's watching this or listening to it right now, if you feel like God is convicting you to be obedient in doing something or getting rid of something or whatever else it is, just do it because He's got great things for you that you can't imagine. Yeah.

1:59:32 So cool. So how else did you transform from this point forward? So that's where it gets really good. It's been pretty good so far here recently, but I can't wait to hear this. So after that experience, God lays it on my heart to start a Bible study. I fought it for a minute. I was like, I yeah, I am not prepared to lead a Bible study.

2:00:01 I know. I don't know what I'm doing. How am I supposed to lead a Bible study? I did it anyways and it was mostly just my husband's family. Like his cousin, his sister, and after my deliverance, my encounter with God at that women's conference, God put me through a season of isolation. And he even said that when the girl was talking that she said a lot.

2:00:32 So I can't remember exactly all of it, but I have it written down. But that was part of it is that the coming days are going to get hard, but just wait, push through. So I knew it was coming and eventually it did come and I felt isolated and alone and I was like, I don't know if I can keep doing this.

2:00:55 This is too hard for me. So I cried out to God one night and I was like, I need a friend, I need someone or else I'm going to turn back. This is too hard. I felt too alone. I knew he was there in that moment. I felt his presence. And it was like, to me, it was like reassurance. Like, OK, I'm going to send you someone.

2:01:19 Just wait. Like I got reminded of what he had said to me. And within two weeks, there's a lot that went into it, just like coincidental things. That was all God. But I meet my best friend at church and we hit it off immediately and we became like sisters instantly. And I'm a very introverted, shy person so me meeting someone at church was like no, no absolutely not. But we just clicked right off the bat and I didn't feel so alone anymore.

2:01:56 I was like, finally someone understands me. Finally. And yeah, so she was part of the Bible study as well. She helped me, you know, have that confidence, like, you can do this. God told you you can do it. You can do it. I think that's so important because I know if I would not have had that friend or just someone supporting me or understanding what I was walking through, it was really easy to just be like, no, I'll just turn.

2:02:31 I'll just go live the way I was living because it was almost easier than being alone and having to deal with. Now I'm the Jesus freak and I'm the weird 1, you know? But it was worth it. And he sent me a friend who understood what I was going through. So I start this Bible study and it's amazing.

2:02:55 And I watched my sister-in-law, both of them slowly transform with me. We're all transforming together. Our families are transforming. Her and her husband start going to church as well. It's like God, like catapulted this these encounters and this transformation in everyone around me. Yeah. So we did the Bible study for a year.

2:03:25 We took a small break this summer and during that small break, I was going to another Bible study that had found on Facebook of some moms in my area, and it was exactly what I needed and this So we're sitting at the park and the lead mom who leads the Bible study had gone out of town. She asked me to lead it and I was really nervous about it because these aren't people I like, know, like they're not family, like my husband's family.

2:03:58 So I'm a little bit more nervous. And we're talking about the, I can't remember how to say it, Cyrophoenician woman, the Gentile woman whose daughter needed deliverance. And she asked Jesus and I can't remember the exact wording he used, but basically he's like. We don't give the bread to the dogs.

2:04:30 It's. Yes, yes, OK, so we're talking, we're talking about that. And the this girl sitting next to me looks to me and she's like, that's what I need, I need deliverance. And I was like, I didn't know what to say. And I could feel the Holy Spirit being like, you know what to do. And all of a sudden the girl sitting across from me is like, you can do it.

2:04:57 And in that moment, it's almost like God himself, Holy Spirit was speaking through that person and was telling me, you can do it. You can usher in deliverance just like I delivered you. You can do it. And I had been praying for a while that God would put someone in my life who needed deliverance who wanted it because of the church we're at. I had signed up for their college. I was getting all this training and teaching and I was had all the knowledge but didn't know how to use it. Hadn't had the opportunity to put it into practice. Yet yes.

2:05:43 Until now. Yes. So I felt so convicted after we left the park because I didn't say anything. So I texted her and I was like, would you want to, you know, for us to do a deliverance session on you? And the girl who told me like he was sitting across from me, it was like, you can do it on her. She messaged me too. And she was like, do you feel like you can do deliverance? Because I feel like that girl really needs deliverance, like she's asking for it.

2:06:19 And I was like, yes. So we set up a time. We set up everything. I barely knew these people. I had met them twice. That's it. So I go to this woman's house and we fasted the day before. And the whole time I'm just like, God, I am so scared. You have to come through like you. You have to like, I know you've given me everything I need to do this. You've given me the authority.

2:06:57 I know that, I know that I know that you are going to do this, but help me. And I'm hearing these thoughts like you can't do this. You cannot do this. Who do you think you are? You cannot do this. So we get there and obviously the second I realized that thought in my head, I was like, why am I taking this?

2:07:23 It's like absolutely not. So I commanded all of it, every thought in my head to leave and for Satan to leave me alone. And he did. All of it gone. And I was like, why didn't I realize that sooner? You needed a little self delivery there, but you you didn't, so that's great. So we get there and funny thing, I've told my husband, I was like, it'll be like an hour, 30 minutes, just wait in the car. So I go to her house and it ended up being a six hour deliverance session.

2:07:57 And it was so beautiful to see her after. Like she looked like I did after I got delivered. Her eyes were clear every like she experienced God and now she is on fire for the Lord. That's incredible. Yes. What was it like? Catapulted What? Was the session like? So we started with forgiveness first.

2:08:25 We wanted to ask her like, why do you think you need Deliverance? Yeah. And she went through a list of, you know, like, anger and like all these other things that she feels and like her childhood. And she also comes from like, a Greek background. So there was a lot I learned that night that a lot of what people experience or go through is from generational things.

2:08:59 There were things that we were casting out. She was like, what? I didn't even know. Like I was like, Are you sure? So I just said it in Cherna, yes. Was she manifesting? Oh yeah, she's throwing up. Really. So it's pretty. It was very intense. Very. Wow. Yeah. So you LED this? Yes. You'd never LED a deliverance session before. And God called you to lead this.

2:09:25 Was it just you and her? Was she another friend? There me and the lady who was like you can. Do it. You should do it. I'm glad she was. There too, yes. Got in on that. Yeah. Wow, that's great. Do you know how many? How many demons? There was at least 30, yeah. At least that's not uncommon. People think, Oh my gosh. 30 No.

2:09:47 And we've realized that we've done more since then, and every time it's out, it's been like at least 20. Did some come out without a lot of fanfare, or were they all pretty demonstrative? Pretty. The manifestations were pretty crazy, especially one of the last ones we did. Yeah, it kind of put some fear in me, but I had someone pray over me and prophecy and she was like, you keep asking if this is me, this is me.

2:10:18 I have called you to do this. You said I will do it. So here it is. Yeah. And it gave me that like reassurance, like. Well, and talking to deliverance ministers, I think the more experienced you get with that, the less likely you're going to see a lot of that. A lot of that is designed to do just that, right? Just cause you to back off in fear or, or, or hey, this is too big for me or, or whatever I think. And your authority remains the same. Yep, right, but.

2:10:52 I got so much confidence after that. Yeah, so much. And the more you do that, I, I just ain't like anything else, the more you're going to understand what's going on. You've exercised your authority, so it builds your faith, right? You know how it works and so good for you for stepping out in faith.

2:11:15 A total introvert in most cases, right? This is just so far from what your wheelhouse, your comfort zone is, but you felt the conviction, you felt the prompting of God. He equipped you right and and he's pulling you. It's so cool to watch. I just look back over the whole thing and, and we had this season, this long season of the enemy just completely behind every decision that you're making, pulling you further and further away from God and then God stepping in and saying, OK, we're going to pull her back. And, and he did.

2:11:54 And it wasn't, you know, we think of the, the parable of the prodigal son. This is the third time it's come up, but we we just are captivated, I think by the the, the thought that the very father who was essentially pillaged for his life earnings from this kid of his, you know, racing to him. It's like that's just the opposite of what anybody with in their right mind you think. OK, the father or even God in this instance when we have chosen to separate ourselves from him would be like in the house, in his secret room.

2:12:37 And you know, how dare you try to come in. You've got a lot of things before you can work your way into me. And let's keep him out there. And you know, maybe if you earn your way back, I'll, I'll consider speaking with you for just a minute. But I'm mostly I'm sitting in judgement of you for what you've done. And instead God is like.

2:12:59 Comes running after you. And he's like taking you each step of the way into this place of where you look up now and you look up where you are. I can't believe that I'm where I am right now in relation to where I was three months ago. But when you look back to like. All the way back. You're like that. I can't get here from there.

2:13:25 No. It's just amazing. I I feel the same way and I think most people who have chosen to follow Christ and are obedient in the promptings God gives us to do what he's asking us to do. Each one of those is a step further and closer to him to such to get to a point where it's like I cannot believe where I was and where I am. No, I know I've only been truly following him for two years and he has done so much.

2:14:01 And it's crazy to look back and like, remember how I used to view Christians like they're lame. And now I'm like, this is so fun, so exciting. I love life with God. Like it's so much more fun than partying and drinking and all of those things. So much more fun. No, you had a life committed to that and for forever and ever and ever.

2:14:25 It wasn't like you tried it for a couple of months and it's like, Oh no, I'm going back to church. It's. Still. Like yes, people like you that can say, hey look, everything that the the anti Christian crowd says I did, I was, I didn't just do, I was that was me. I embodied that. I carried your flag.

2:14:49 Yeah. But what I'm trying to say is of the two of us that are in this conversation about this, Mr. Skeptic, only one of us has been on both sides. And I'm telling you, it's not what you think it is. It is a lot. It's a, isn't it? Life of abundance, spiritual, internal peace, joy and abundance, all the things everybody's looking for happiness. If happiness is associated with you getting everything you want and wealth or whatever, that's not that at all. No, I could care less about any of that stuff now. Or.

2:15:29 But are you happy? Yeah, I'm the happiest I've ever been, especially because I think my happiness, obviously it comes from God, but in that I've relinquished all control over my life. I don't have to worry about it, you know, like he's got it. I'm not trying to control every little thing and keeping up with the Joneses, and we have to get this and we have to get this car and we need to buy how?

2:15:54 Like, I don't care. If that's what you want from me, God, then so be it. If not, I'm fine. I have you. I have my husband, I have my children, and whatever you want me to do, I'm the. World doesn't believe that, Aaliyah. The world doesn't believe that. No, you have to have these things to be happy. That's just not how it works.

2:16:12 No, you don't get it. It's like I do, actually. And it it is from person after person after person after person. And they're not faking it. And there's really nothing in it for them to try to get you to see truth. They just know what's in it for you. Yeah. And so to continue to resist Christ when he's opening a door for you and and what we're saying is the greatest internal peace you've ever known is a doorway away for you.

2:16:52 Yeah, and he's constantly chasing us. We just, if we stopped, if I would have stopped and just thought for a second, like, where is God in my life right now? There's so many little things. I've noticed nothing. Nothing is a coincidence, nothing. It's all him. What is life looking like for you now?

2:17:18 I am in my second year of it's called Kaneo. It's a college that's through our church and it's ministry training. So I'm in my second year of that and it's been absolutely amazing. Really just being obedient to whatever he wants me to do. If it's more deliverances, we'll do that. If it's, I don't know. I'm just waiting for him to tell me what's next. Are you continuing to experience him? Yes.

2:17:55 And how are you experiencing him now? So every morning after my husband goes to work bright and early. Especially if you have kids, I recommend you get up before them. I get up at 5:00 AM. When he does, he leaves. I sit at my table. And something God has put on my heart lately is I've been taking communion every day before I start my Bible study. And yeah, I'll just read my word journal. Journaling is how I've always connected since the beginning. So I've just kept it going.

2:18:33 And when I did stop, God used two people to be like, keep journaling 'cause that's how that's how we connect. So yeah, I sit and I read and writing is like my thing. So sometimes God will give me a revelation or something through a scripture that I read, and I will write it all out and I'll post it. That's just something that he's laid on my heart is writing, which my mom was a writer, so it makes sense. Yeah.

2:19:09 So I experienced him through worship and just sitting with him. And I've learned asking him questions and waiting for him to speak. Yeah. Really. Yes. Tell me about that. So we learned in my first year of Keneo to write just simple questions like, Holy Spirit, what do you want me to know today? What do you want me to do today?

2:19:38 And I will sit, and I will wait. And even if I feel like it's my voice or my thoughts, I'll write it down anyways. And he always confirms it. Maybe it's a few days later. Maybe it's an hour later. That's so cool. Yes. Yeah. You had that dream about the rapture. You had dreams as a kid. As have any more dreams like that shown up? Yeah, since.

2:20:08 Yeah. So after this was, I think after my encounter with God, I had a dream about my brother. And in this dream, we're on this road intersection and there's like construction going on. You can see all the cones. And I'm like pulled over to the side because there's a wreck. I can't see the wreck, but there's a wreck.

2:20:32 I know it's a wreck and I know it's my brother. And I'm like, just waiting to hear something like standing on the side of the road and this lady comes to me and people are going to probably say I'm crazy, but that's OK. I know that. I know that. I know that in my dream this lady was an Angel, a messenger of God. And she looks at me and she says, I'm sorry. There was a battle on where he was going. And I'm sorry, but he's going to hell. Yeah.

2:21:03 So I pondered with that for a while. Like, do I tell my brother? Do I not? So I just told him. I said I had a dream about you. And he immediately called me because he knows about, you know, my dreams. And I told him about it. And it really got to him, really changed him. He started pursuing God more. Yeah.

2:21:29 So that's just one example. Wow. That's strong. Yeah, they're usually always warnings. Yeah, well, that's the nature of prophecy, right? You've got a prophetic gift that you've had since you were a child. And so I wonder if you're stepping into that or if he's calling in you into more with that or if this is the beginning of some greater, yeah, prophetic type gift.

2:22:00 I mean if you look at the events in your life, not just the dreams but prophecy spoken over your mother. About you being. Born and it feels like it's peppered 5-6 times into the story how a prophetic word sort of altered the course of. Things even for this podcast. What do you mean? Three times before I even thought about putting in a video or anything like that.

2:22:31 Within a span of maybe 3 months, if I got prayer or like someone a prayer for me, three times the same words have been spoken. That many will be called and come back to me through your testimony. Yeah, yeah. And many times I've wanted to film it, but I'm like, I don't even know where to start or how to do that.

2:23:00 And yeah, so. Well, here you are. I'm excited. Do it fulfilling. Yeah. Having that prophecy fulfilled, Yeah. Today, that's incredible. It is. You had a a really volatile relationship with your mom. You talked about the forgiveness of your dad. Did you forgive your mom? Did you feel like you had to forgive your mom?

2:23:28 Oh yeah, 100% yeah. There was a lot there. And I think about forgiveness, at least how God has shown me is that, and I tell every person this, whoever talks about forgiveness is I prayed for God to show me my mother, show me my father, anyone who's hurt me, I want to see them through his eyes because that's hurt people hurt people.

2:23:59 And my mom went through some very, very, very traumatic things. And that's why she was the way she was. And I didn't see her anymore as this crazy mom who, like, you know, schizophrenia and all these things. And like, yeah, I saw her as someone who had been through a lot, who God used regardless, he used her very mightily, regardless of some of her actions or even like through her relapsing.

2:24:35 She relapsed when I was like 131213 and I watched it and she still went straight back to God after that season. And I forgave her for all of that because I saw her through his lens. I saw her in the lens of love. Yeah. As a daughter. I didn't see her as my mother. I saw her as a daughter. Yeah. Yeah, you, you, you see them.

2:25:06 When you put on the heart of God, you develop a compassion for people that that didn't exist. Before even. Oh yeah, 100% yes. I think also about her anointing you and praying over you, things that you described earlier that even after she had passed, still not seeing any fruit of that, right? Yeah. But then you look up now.

2:25:40 Yeah, I know it's her prayers. I know it was right. Yes. How does that mean? How do you process that? I'm just thankful that God used her in spite of her mental problems, addiction problems. I see more of God's goodness in her life than I do. All the things, the trauma and all the things we went through.

2:26:14 Yeah, that's what I see. You know, scripture teaches us to honor our father and our mother. And I know that when we have volatile times, we feel like we're not honoring them. And and you know, there's times where you, you know, there has to be separation because they're just destroying your peace. And that can happen.

2:26:35 And I hear it happened in so many instances, but you think about all the time she prayed it over you. And for you to be doing this today is probably as strong an example of honoring your mother as you could. Do you see that? So, you know, I know that you've taken all this to God. You've you've sought forgiveness for where you were, you know, didn't treat her the way that you probably felt like you should even in some of those other things. And I know that that's all reconciled and you've gone through that process.

2:27:23 You may have not done today out of honoring your mother is just obedience to God. But I think God's so cool in the ways that when you're obedient to him, that it's like, oh, by the way, also as you're obedient to me, you just kept that great commandment of mine of authoring, honoring your father and your mother. Yeah, she's such a big part of my testimony, but it's no coincidence at all that today is her birthday. Today, yes, is your mom's birthday. Today is my mom's birthday.

2:27:58 As you sit here, yeah, honoring. Yeah, today is her birthday. Yeah, Yeah. That is the genius of God. Yes, it is. It's all happened. I mean, do you feel that right? Like right now in your bones? Yes, I do. Yeah, yeah. A day that you today, two years ago, this would be a day that I would sit around crying all day, sulking all day.

2:28:28 And now look where I'm at. Yeah, that's only God. Yeah. That's the goodness of God. Yeah. That's just unreal. That is unreal. Is there anything I did not ask you about that you feel like you you're, you're here and you want to bring out? I don't think. So 'cause we covered a lot. Yeah, I think the main thing that God I kept hearing is that the look that Christians my age, 'cause you look around the church, at least in my area, and it's weird for people our age to be in church.

2:29:14 They always have the outlook of I'll get right with God later when I'm older, I'll get right with God, but I just I it's a lie from the enemy. Like you don't see people in church who are our age in our middle early 20s because culture has put this label on Christianity that it's weird. And that is something that he really, I felt like stood out to me was just demolishing that lie that Christianity is weird and that it's boring. It's not boring.

2:29:54 It's so fun. I love it. Life of God is more fun than any party, any concert, any drinking, smoking, anything, hooking up a guys, hooking up a girls. It's more fun than any of that. It's more fulfilling than any of that. I found purpose before God. I was like, my life has no purpose. It's just a meaningless void.

2:30:21 So I'm just supposed to raise my kids, be a Good Wife, and that's it. That's it. That's all I'm supposed to do, which is amazing and it is important, but I didn't find any fulfillment in that, any purpose in that, until I found God. We're all just filling ourselves with this meaningless stuff. Unless you add God into it, into your marriage, into your children, into your life, your work, anything. It's all meaningless without Him. It's all purposeless without Him. All of it.

2:30:57 It means nothing. You're literally chasing your tail. Yeah. And as you are chasing your tail, you're chasing in a downward spiral that ends in your destruction. Yeah, When you live that way, I, I, I live that life for far too long. And God thankfully pulled me out into connection with him and I am the most hopeful, fulfilled like by 1,000,000 miles than I've ever been.

2:31:31 You can't explain it either until you experience. Yeah, we think we'll, we're going to do all the fun things for us and then we'll maybe, you know. Try to get ourselves right. And and it's just it, it's just, it's a lie and it's wrong. The fulfillment happens when you're connected with him. The longer you put it off, the more you're missing. It's 100%.

2:31:54 That's how it works, but I'm old now so. I've seen at our church, our church has been in revival now for eight years. And I can't tell you how like much fulfillment I have found in God, but also watching him perform miracles, cancer, dissolving from bodies, women diagnosed with infertility, walking on stage pregnant or with a baby. Like I serve in the church now, like with baptism. And I have seen people get healed instantly. I've seen women come in with just anxiety and depression and torment.

2:32:36 And when they come up out of the water, their faces, their whole demeanor, they're smiling. Like I've seen so much from that. And it's can't say Christianity is boring. You can't. Seeing people who got in, who can't walk, come out walking. That's boring. It's not. It's amazing. It is the most extraordinary life and I tell you just to hear you now describe what you were experiencing since God so gently.

2:33:14 I think. I mean, there was some challenging but but just like he's like we're just kind of we're going to take Aaliyah from where she was into this place that she's got no idea. It wasn't a punishment, judgement condemning thing. It'd be a little conviction here, a little door opening here and just walking you into the greatest, the greatest joy of your life.

2:33:40 Yeah. It's incredible and you did such a great job. Thank you articulating it. Yeah. And just a side note, about a little over halfway through, your face changed. Really. Yeah, it did. The light in it changed as you began to speak of the things that he did for you, and you could see it in your face.

2:34:09 I'll be surprised if it doesn't show up on the camera, but I've seen that a handful of times where the light in a person's face changed in the conversation. And that happened for you. And you could see him glowing through you. Just so cool. So cool. Aaliyah DiMaggio, you did a wonderful job. I love this conversation.

2:34:34 I love the way you spoke about it. And I love the things that God bubbled up in it that I believe. I don't believe. I know that he is using right now to bring people into their own awakening. Yeah, you did a wonderful job. Thank you. Thank you for coming. Thank you. It's been an honor. Aaliyah's story reminds us that darkness doesn't win just because it's been around for a long time. God restores what the enemy tries to claim, and he rebuilds lives in ways we could never imagine. If Aaliyah's journey awakens something in you, consider what God may be wanting to restore in your own life and share this with someone who needs hope today, especially if they or you need to step into forgiveness.

2:35:26 Thank you for joining us today on A Stronger Faith. Stories like Aaliyah's are powerful because they share how everyday people are actually experiencing God. That's what we do. So if you feel like you have unmistakably experienced God and that God is prompting you to share it to build the Kingdom of Heaven, I want to encourage you to make about a 20 minute video telling how you have experienced God. Then visit astrongerfaith.org/contact and share it with us there.

2:35:57 You don't have to give every detail in the video, just enough to let us know how you have clearly experienced God. It's how we get almost all of our guests. And if you feel like God's moving you to come alongside us as a financial supporter of a stronger faith, you can find giving options at a stronger faith.org/give.

2:36:19 Until next time, we pray for a richer connection with God and for a stronger faith for you and those you love.