Boyfriends of Famous Women (with Lisa Gilroy)

0:04 Welcome back to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists. This week on the show, an elite group of people you seldom hear from. It's the non-famous boyfriends of famous female celebrities.

0:16 There are so many female celebrities out there who have achieved things in the realm of music and acting and influencing the industry. And they all have boyfriends who hang around as well. This is their story.

0:33 Let's listen in.

0:37 What are we even freaking doing?

0:40 It's crazy in here.

0:42 Like all of us.

0:44 I haven't seen you since Cannes.

0:46 I haven't seen.

0:48 You since South By.

0:51 I haven't seen you since Cannes of Beer. Which was this morning? Dude, dap me, dude.

0:58 Wait, I think I saw you, were you guys all, you guys were all at Cannes of Butter, the big event, the opening for Cannes of Butter?

1:05 Oh yeah, Weed Butter.

1:08 Weed Butter, the company?

1:09 Yeah.

1:09 Dude, I can't do that butter anymore. I tried it, and I was out.

1:14 Are you guys organizing your brand events?

1:17 And which ones you should go to with the lady, and which ones you shouldn't? Me and Sasha have a shared calendar. She has her own calendar. Then there's Sasha's calendar, so I know her schedule. And then it's Sasha plus Joe calendar. Spielberg's daughter, right? Yeah, Sasha Spielberg.

1:36 Sasha Spielberg.

1:37 Sasha Spielberg. She's huge. And I genuinely know her sister. Her actual sister. Crazy.

1:45 Susha. Susha.

1:47 Yeah. Susha in this world. Her name is Susha in this world. Yes, that's crazy. I love Sasha. She's like freaking down to earth. Like, I don't know. Like, she's my rock.

1:57 Yeah.

1:59 Crazy she like covers helps me so much with like my career what is your career by the way doggy so yeah like uh i kind of work in the tech space but like the artist tech space like i'm trying to do graphic.

2:12 Like a street art but for the computer.

2:15 Dude banksy on keyboard man that's what i've been saying.

2:21 Thank you so like sasha kind of helps fund that put me in connections like she's so there and then obviously i'm featured on her instagram a lot like Like she said, I'm pranking her boyfriend.

2:31 Are those real, by the way, or are you guys kind of in on it together?

2:34 Dude, half of them are real.

2:36 Oh, that's great.

2:37 Sometimes I told her if they're too mean, I need a heads up.

2:41 Yeah, right.

2:42 Like the one where she swung the paint cans at you like Home Alone style to your head when you were coming up the stairs. Is that real or no?

2:47 That was real. Oh, dude.

2:48 That was real.

2:50 Your teeth went kaboom like chiclet confetti.

2:52 Full remake.

2:53 Kaboom.

2:55 Kaboom.

2:56 Kaboom.

2:57 That was when I was like, Sasha, we need a chat.

2:59 Right, right.

3:00 We need a chat.

3:02 We can't be doing stuff like that without giving me a heads up.

3:05 But it's hard because you're her moose. So it's like tough. Yeah.

3:08 I mean, I'm sure we're all our girls' mooses. We're all kind of mooses. Straight up?

3:11 Yeah. Moose.

3:12 Moose?

3:13 Her moose?

3:13 Her moose. Moose is like magical. It's a Greek thing.

3:16 Moose.

3:17 No, like for many, many years, like only women could be mooses. But now we're in such a time of feminism and with the patriarchy toppling, toppling, toppling down, like we can be mooses too.

3:27 Is moose like also support system?

3:30 Yeah. I love being her moose.

3:32 I'm just wondering.

3:33 Is moose like, because like maybe I don't inspire the art, but like I am like the couch in which she sits on, you know?

3:38 That could be a moose. Literally, your couch is the face.

3:42 I sit on my face. Bo, you're such a perv.

3:45 Bo!

3:47 Keep it in your pants, you horn ass. Bo vibes.

3:51 You're so horn ass.

3:52 Horn ass. Horn ass.

3:54 At the event wearing the t-shirt on the carpet. You guys get in trouble for wearing t-shirts on the carpet?

3:58 Bo, we told you a million times, dress up a little bit.

4:01 Yeah, but Bo can get away with it low-key because Bo's 18.

4:06 Bo's 18.

4:06 Wait, you're dating Martha Stewart, right?

4:09 Yeah.

4:09 Yes, my sweet, sweet love. I love her to death. She loves me as long as I don't wear red. She hates the color red.

4:16 Like a bull.

4:17 Like a bull.

4:20 Like a bull.

4:22 Anyway, I'm grateful to be here.

4:26 For some reason, I did go kind of TikTok viral because I was just like talking about my love.

4:31 And people thought I was her intern.

4:33 But I wasn't.

4:37 What's the age difference between you? She's 60-something.

4:40 I'm 18 and a half.

4:41 Loki, you don't know?

4:42 Loki didn't do math. For real, deadass?

4:44 You don't know? For real?

4:45 You for real don't know?

4:46 Like Loki for real. Loki, deadass? Loki, dead horned ass.

4:49 You're not tapping for cans?

4:51 Dead ass in a ditch horned up.

4:53 Okay, pause.

4:53 Don't know.

4:55 Pause.

4:55 You don't know the age difference? Loki? Pause.

4:58 Deadass?

4:59 Wait, for real?

4:59 For real?

5:00 On God? On dick God.

5:04 On Dick God.

5:05 Dick God, our secret God we all worship.

5:07 We love you, Dick God.

5:10 Oh my, Dick God, thank you for blessing me with a rich woman.

5:13 Thank you, Dick God.

5:15 Do you ever mix up your prayers to God and Dick God and then they could.

5:19 Have all swapped? Literally all the time. It's such a problem.

5:23 But wait, I can't believe I'm sitting amongst some of the biggest people I know in terms of the field in which we're in.

5:30 Yeah, I guess I'll go ahead.

5:31 Please, please.

5:32 My name is Logan Weatherbean the Chut, big tall grass Luke, Lukewin. And I'm, they call me the Jennifer Slayer. So, you know, you guys know me.

5:44 Literally, how many Jennifers has Logan Weatherbean.

5:48 The Chut, tall grass Logan?

5:53 And that's the thing, though, too, by the way. My name is the only name that has 32 letters in it, and by the Church of Scientology, it's better luck than a Jennifer. Jennifer's been cursed with an eight-letter name, so they all come to me to kind of balance out the low-key.

6:03 It's been so good for getting.

6:04 My dick wet.

6:05 All Jennifer's know this?

6:06 Yeah, well, the Scientologist ones, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

6:09 So I got Lawrence, Aniston, Love Hewitt. That's kind of a double feature. Double feature. I got Tilly.

6:17 Jennifer Tilly. Jennifer Tilly. How was that?

6:20 I got Boddy. Jennifer's body.

6:22 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

6:23 Dude, that's crazy.

6:26 Yeah.

6:26 And any other Jennifer you guys can think of, help me out.

6:29 Love Hewitt.

6:30 I said love Hewitt.

6:31 Did we say the credit card one?

6:32 Did we say Garner?

6:33 Garner.

6:34 I got Garner. Jennifer Stone from Wizards of Waverly Place.

6:38 Oh, yep.

6:38 And I got Jennifer Stark from Wizards of Wizardly Place.

6:41 Dude.

6:42 That's the KKK documentary. But I got all of them from wherever, yeah.

6:47 Dude, it's so cool that you are here today. What have you been up to lately, like in your career life?

6:53 I've been loving your stones.

6:56 My stones?

6:56 Yeah.

6:56 Yeah.

6:57 I've been doing like, I've been a stone double for a few years. Just doing stones like on the run.

7:04 What's your favorite stone? Jumping from balding to balding?

7:06 Yeah, exactly. Balding, balding, bouldering, boombing, bowing, panging. Oh, I love when you stone double for bowing. Stones?

7:15 Stoning?

7:16 Your stones is nuts. Dude, your stones, your bowing stones are insane. Give us one.

7:21 Yo, dude. Give us one.

7:23 My bowing stones? Yeah.

7:27 That was crazy.

7:29 Thank you, Dick God, for my friend.

7:32 Like, the way you interpret bowing is insane.

7:35 Well, you guys saw me on the cover of Rolling Stone, right?

7:38 Yeah.

7:39 Yeah.

7:39 Yeah.

7:40 That was sick as hell.

7:41 That was amazing.

7:42 All your core stunts, too, where you're Tonkio-drafting into do-nuts?

7:47 Were you doing do-nuts?

7:48 Tonkio-drafting.

7:49 Does it ever intimidate any of the gens that you're kind of a big stunt guy?

7:54 Well, that's the thing, right?

7:55 Because they think they need me in their life to kind of balance out the curse of Scientology with the numerology and all that. So I can kind of get away with murder there. I'm kind of taking money. I'm kind of doing whatever to get advantage of family members.

8:06 Dude, the funniest thing you say, you're always like, I'm a bad dude. Yeah, I literally am. You're a bad dude. You always joke like that. Dead ass in the grass, poop up.

8:15 Dead ass on God, I meet these girls. I'm like, literally, love you, Lawrence, Garner, line up. I'm like, I'll tell you right now, for real on God, low key.

8:22 I'm a bad dude.

8:24 I just say that.

8:25 And they literally, they just go, panties off.

8:27 Dude, you're so funny. They're into it.

8:28 But I'm like, genuinely, Alexa, turn my panties off.

8:31 Yeah, literally.

8:32 And when it comes to dating with Jennifer, is it like the chicken or the egg? Like, is it the girl or is it the name that you're attracted to?

8:40 Is it the chicken or the egg?

8:41 Well, they come to me, right? Because, like, if they're the ex, like, think of them being the ex and me being the chokin'. Like, if I'm chokin', I'm crushed up, cut up chokin' in the barn, right? And they're smelling that meat from a grizzly mile away, right?

8:53 Grizzly mile!

8:55 That's a dick god blessing, broski! Bro, for real.

8:59 So, low-key, they kind of come to me. I have this thing set up with my sister, right? Because my sister does the intake at the Church of Scientology, and when the Love Hewitts and the Garners and the Lawrence's come in to get their personality test done... And they also check for split ends and a bunch of stuff that makes girls feel insecure. And they'll say, well, we got to hook you up with this guy. He's got the right numerology and his name is the only guy in LA that's got it. So that's kind of how they find me.

9:18 Wow.

9:18 To think about how it goes in from the split ends to like, and it ends with panties off is like, it's just, it's inspiring.

9:25 Your sister is awesome. Yeah, thanks.

9:28 Sasha.

9:29 Sasha.

9:29 Spielberg.

9:30 Whoa.

9:31 Yeah, that's how we know. We're low-key like brother-in-laws.

9:33 You guys are like in the same family, for real.

9:35 I forgot you changed your last name.

9:36 Guys, that doesn't feel low-key. That feels high-key.

9:38 That's so high-key.

9:39 Speaking of high-keys, though, by the way, you're the highest key. You're like my literal god.

9:43 What do you mean?

9:44 Talk about yourself, my man.

9:46 Dude, I did. I'm 18 and a half. I did. I'm dating Martha Stewart. Thank you. Hugo. No, but I will say I heard.

9:57 It was when you were wearing your sunglasses.

10:00 No, notoriously.

10:02 If you have sunglasses on, you ain't listening.

10:03 By the way, when I have my sunglasses on, I'm not even in this realm, bro.

10:08 I've told my deepest, darkest secrets to you when you're wearing sunglasses, so now nobody knows.

10:13 Exactly. I'm a different person. I'm a night and day guy.

10:16 You tell that to the ladies so you can act like you don't hear her.

10:20 Yeah.

10:21 No, I tell it to the truth because Dick God cursed me with another realm when I put sunglasses on.

10:25 But can we tell you something for real, though?

10:27 What's up?

10:27 Like, literally, can we bring it down, you guys?

10:29 Yeah.

10:29 Because we haven't been honest with you about one thing.

10:31 What's up?

10:32 When your eyes are closed, dude, you're not actually invisible. So when you put your sunglasses on, when you close your eyes and you go, oh, I can't see anything, so maybe my homies can't see us, we've been kind of feeding into.

10:44 That for a couple years because we.

10:45 Thought it was funny.

10:46 But I went to the Met Gala and closed my eyes, ran around and made a mess, and everyone kept saying, who's making that big mess?

10:52 We saw you. You were flipping trays.

10:54 At that Skinny Pop Fair that we went to, the Skinny Pop Fair.

10:58 Oh, the Skinny Pop Fair.

10:59 And you closed your eyes and pissed your pants. We just looked at you pissing.

11:04 What?

11:05 Yeah. Dude, can you believe popcorn had an entire affair?

11:07 That's crazy. Do you remember when we guessed how many kernels were in that big jar?

11:10 And we got it wrong?

11:11 Dude, when before we started this interview and you were like, I'm a little nervous. I'm going to take a second to be myself. And you went and sat by the black curtain. You closed your eyes and you started masturbating.

11:19 We saw that.

11:19 You saw me masturbating?

11:21 Yeah.

11:21 Yeah.

11:22 And you are the master of the bat, to be clear. Master of the bat. Master of the bat.

11:27 Master of the bat.

11:29 Oh, my girl would love that.

11:31 By the way, guys.

11:32 Oh, yeah, tell us about your girl.

11:33 My name is Mackenzie Scott.

11:34 I am the boyfriend of Misty Copeland.

11:37 Ballet.

11:38 Prima ballerina extraordinaire.

11:41 Misty Copeland, dude.

11:42 I thought that was a horse's name, dude.

11:43 No, Misty Copeland is actually the best ballerina of all time.

11:46 She's like a super acclaimed ballerina.

11:49 She's like amazing and she's mine. She's mine, all mine.

11:52 She's also old like mine.

11:53 Yeah.

11:54 No, she's not actually.

11:55 She's 40.

11:56 That's old.

11:57 Nah, dude. Nah.

11:58 Dude, she's 40.

11:59 Now, compared to who I've been dating, though, shout out Kathy Bates. Love you. Jumping down.

12:05 Dude, so does.

12:07 Misty ever teach you any sort of pirouettes or anything like plies, anything in that genre?

12:13 Yeah. Well, can I be honest?

12:15 Yeah, dude, for real.

12:16 Do these things on? Is this allowed?

12:18 Yeah.

12:18 I never do that shit on my chest, bro.

12:20 Pirouettes on my chest. That's going to hurt.

12:23 It hurts so bad, bro.

12:25 Because those shoes are actually made of wood.

12:27 At the end. And she got them on, dude.

12:29 That hurts.

12:30 It hurts.

12:31 But what if you get too close to the ballet? You're gay.

12:34 What?

12:35 What if you get too close to the ballet, you gay? What if you get too close to the ballet, you gay?

12:40 What if you get too close to plie, you gay?

12:42 No. No? You sure?

12:45 What if you get too close to pirouette, you gay yet?

12:47 No.

12:47 You walk in.

12:49 If you walk in straight, you walk out straight.

12:53 If you walk in nervous, you walk out.

12:55 But if you walk in and spin a bunch, you walk out dizzy.

12:58 Bro. Bro.

13:00 Bro, no, no, this is for reals.

13:01 Dead serious.

13:02 Bad-ass. Bad-bad-ass. This is dead-bad-ass.

13:06 Dead-bad-ass and beyond, bro.

13:08 Listen to me.

13:10 They have some straight-ass ballerinos in there, dudes, and they're slaying in there.

13:15 Ballerinos?

13:16 Yeah, I got it. Look, we could get into ballerina.

13:18 Whoa.

13:19 And they're gay?

13:20 Ballerina. We could get into ballerina. We could do ballerina ourselves.

13:23 But I don't want to be ballerina because fear of being gay.

13:26 No, no, no.

13:26 There's plenty of straight ones in there. I swear to God.

13:29 But that is low-key a sneaky way to get in with them, right? Because those little girls are so small, too. You get a pirouette in the mouth. Imagine a ballet shoe in your mouth, and she's doing a pirouette, and you're just laying on the bed. You're just like, I'm in the happiest place of my life.

13:41 You're looking straight up at Dick God.

13:42 Literally, you're like, low-key, if you see a girl doing a pirouette with her foot in my mouth, don't stop me. I'm exactly where I want to be.

13:48 Yeah, dude. Don't wake me up.

13:50 I'm dreaming.

13:51 But no, it's truly like Misty is the light of my life and my rock, and I'm there for her.

13:56 It's hard to be ballerina. It's a hard life and she's working all the time. I'm just there to be her support.

14:01 I watch every TV show that she can't and I tell her what goes on in them so that she doesn't have to sit down and watch TV.

14:06 Wow, that's sick and so cool. I'm sure this is the kind of guy you are.

14:10 You also got to talk about your Etsy store.

14:13 Oh, yeah.

14:15 I'm selling your name on a bean, and I put it in a necklace. So let me know.

14:21 That's so romantic, bro.

14:22 Thank you so much.

14:23 You got to pay the bills somehow.

14:23 It's called Your Name on a Bean, right? It's called Your Name on a Bean at Etsy. It's yournameonabean.etsy.com.

14:30 How are you carving those beans? What are you using?

14:33 I'm using a dental tool. Because my uncle is a dentist.

14:38 That's sick.

14:40 Carving up beans on the weekdays and on the weekends.

14:43 Am I right?

14:45 You're a bad dude.

14:47 I said it.

14:48 I'm a bad dude.

14:52 Sorry?

14:52 No, sorry, what?

14:53 What?

14:53 I'm so hard to handle when I'm around.

14:56 Oh, I get it.

14:57 Yeah, yeah.

14:58 But dude, talk about your girl. Talk about your girl.

15:00 My girl?

15:01 Fuck, dude. Oh, fuck, dude. Or your mad town.

15:04 Fuck, dude. Oh, fuck, dude.

15:06 I've got sunshine. On a cake. In a clouded day. What's up, you guys?

15:14 I'm Chunk Punk, and I am dating CNN's Dana Bash. She is the light of my light and the light of my world. She makes the world go round, and she is in high-level spaces all the time.

15:27 Dude, like intellectual.

15:28 Intellectual security clearance through the roof.

15:31 Whoa.

15:32 Dude, real news, real tits, real hair.

15:35 That's what we say.

15:38 That is one of the worst things I've ever heard. That is a deplorable thing to say.

15:44 A deplorable thing to say about a woman.

15:46 No, but Loki, that's her sign-off on CNN. That's just what I heard.

15:51 Loki, that's what she says. That's what she says. um yeah but that that's my lady that's my girl we met when uh she was lost outside a library and i was lost looking for a skateboard store and we bumped into each other at the corner of the road and we both dropped everything we were holding what were you holding i was holding okay so i had.

16:22 Go through it because this is a long list buckle up you guys this is nuts i've heard this list before and it's literally about 20 items last time i took a nap in the middle i know.

16:30 Get ready for this this is what i was holding Celsius. Two Celsiuses.

16:34 A vape.

16:35 Skateboard.

16:37 Hair gel.

16:38 Weed.

16:38 Ash tray.

16:39 Bong.

16:48 Chipmunk.

16:49 Of course. Whoa, crazy. What are you going to put the bong in?

16:52 Sticker sheet.

16:54 Lisa Frank?

16:55 Yeah. Lisa Frank sticker sheet. Good Night Moon, the book. Yeah, of course. Obviously, you've got to.

17:03 Go to sleep at some point.

17:05 Click, click.

17:08 Clean air freshener yeah kitchen timer microwave um uh two more celsius and that's.

17:15 The and that was the last of the celsius that you're holding for sure.

17:18 That was the last of it uh mcdonald's sausage egg mcmuffin yeah what was the toy feastables.

17:23 What the toy the toy that came with the mcdonald's oh the toy.

17:26 That came over that that was grew yeah yeah um.

17:28 We haven't even gone to the electronic section.

17:30 You grew or grew it's very different.

17:33 McDonald's did the combo.

17:34 You didn't go?

17:35 Groot, Groot?

17:35 Yeah, Groot, Groot.

17:37 Groot means Groot?

17:38 Groot means Groot.

17:39 It's Groot, and he's got these adorable little daughters, but he's a tree, and the daughters are made of trees.

17:44 How did they think of that?

17:46 Yeah.

17:47 No, it's not.

17:48 And the daughters are trees wearing overalls and goggles.

17:50 Yeah.

17:51 Yeah.

17:51 And then the electronics section, Samsung Galaxy, iPhone 17, iPhone 16, AirPods, AirPods Max, iPhone 16 Pro, iPhone 11, iPhone 8, iPhone 7, iPhone 6, Google Phone, iPad, two iPads, and MacBook Air.

18:08 And what was she holding?

18:11 So she was holding... So much girl stuff.

18:13 So she was holding.

18:14 Let me guess. Tampons, tampons, and tampons.

18:17 Wait, wait, I'm sorry. Tampons, tampons, and.

18:20 cranky attitude yeah right.

18:22 No i'm a bad guy my dana my dana actually she's sunshine all the time she actually leaves work at home in such an amazing way like she leaves work at home like.

18:31 She leaves oh she doesn't bring it to work she leaves work.

18:34 At home she leaves work at home she leaves.

18:36 So she only talks about work when she's at home.

18:39 Dude you're misunderstanding him she leaves home for work in the coolest way like on a skateboard oh Misunderstanding.

18:47 That was a misunderstanding.

18:49 He said she leaves work at home.

18:52 So she leaves work at home. That's what he said.

18:54 So at home, she is talking about politics, Trump.

19:00 I had to say it. She's talking about the White House. She's talking about the pit, the pit, the pit, the pit that they're filling up.

19:07 Oh, okay.

19:08 The pit that they're filling up.

19:09 Also the pit.

19:10 She loves the pit. Oh, yeah.

19:11 Have you guys ever been to the La Brea Tar Pits?

19:14 Dude.

19:14 Oh, look.

19:14 I grew up right around there.

19:16 We should go down in there.

19:17 Have you guys ever been?

19:17 I did south either.

19:19 I'm going to tell you right now, best place for a first date, because if you fart, you're just like Loki. It was the pits.

19:23 Dude, genius.

19:24 Like, does the pits stink like fart ass all the time?

19:27 Here's what's actually a great question that I wanted to ask is, like, how is it to fart around such a famous woman?

19:34 For me, it's hard.

19:37 What are tips and tricks for farting around famous women?

19:39 How do you approach farting around such famous women?

19:42 Everyone has been asking, and I know the guys watching this are like, but how do they fart around them?

19:46 Yeah.

19:47 I mean, it's impossible to fart in front of my lady. Because, number one.

19:51 She's got a nose. She's got a nose that'll just.

19:53 Number one.

19:54 And knows it just won't quit.

19:55 Just my fucking God. That girl can smell. Martha Stewart can smell.

19:58 I mean, she's a sommelier and a chef in all those ways. And she's a smellier, so she smells it all.

20:05 Smellier.

20:07 Dick. Well, are you okay?

20:10 It's okay. Well, sorry, guys. I think I need a new fruit roll-up. a new fruit roll up.

20:15 Can we get this guy a new fruit roll up a new fruit roll up please please can we get a new fruit roll up it's no longer working he went through all three.

20:22 Feet please he's lost the rest I'm so sorry I need a new fruit roll up it's okay.

20:27 He's wearing it on his arm like an insulin band hey.

20:31 Dude anyway yeah I usually just go I think your plants are really exotic Martha I'm smelling some piss ass shit.

20:39 And that's when you farted out your butt.

20:41 That's what happens I usually say what do you say around your ladies Well, I usually try to play it off like, I'll go like, did someone fart or is it just your idea that stinks?

20:48 If she was in the middle of a sentence.

20:50 Wow, you're a bad dude.

20:51 I'm a bad guy.

20:51 This is a bad guy right here.

20:53 I'm a bad guy.

20:54 Dude, that's like a way to neg them. Literally, or have you heard of gaslighting?

20:59 Yeah.

20:59 It's when you blow some gas and then you turn off all the lights and close the door and leave her in there.

21:02 I didn't know that.

21:03 Yeah, and then she's just like, help, it stinks in here and I can't see.

21:09 That is, like, hell.

21:14 It's hilarious. I'm a bad dude. Try it on your girl. Try it on your girl. I got to try that on Sasha. I got it. Dana's going to love that.

21:21 Yes, she will not.

21:22 Dude.

21:23 You do it enough, it shakes them to their core. It makes them feel kind of scared and vulnerable in their own home. And they rely on you more.

21:29 That's amazing.

21:30 Wow. That's amazing. See how that works like that.

21:32 Like, how that kind of comes around.

21:33 Yeah.

21:34 I kind of do, like, the, oh, how cute can I get? I go, pfft.

21:37 Oops.

21:38 Yeah, yeah.

21:39 They kind of love that stuff.

21:40 That's a good method.

21:41 What do you do when you have to blow a big fat natty?

21:43 A big fat natural fart?

21:45 Yeah.

21:45 Are you farting natty, by the way?

21:48 Are they natty? Are you all farting natty?

21:51 Are you all farting natty?

21:52 I mean, if you mean unfiltered and unchecked, I'm farting natty all the way. I got natty lights and I got fat natties.

21:58 Fuck, dude.

21:59 Dude, dead ass fuck natty ass. I am farting natty. And my fucking boxers are so.

22:06 Shredded.

22:07 Just... Blown through.

22:09 You're farting so hard your boxers are blown through?

22:11 Yeah.

22:11 You don't ever get that? I put the hole, you know the hole that they have for your dick? Yeah. I put it back there.

22:16 Yeah.

22:16 So I get good breeze access.

22:19 You put the fart back there? Can I say something?

22:21 I think you're an awful, awful example for this 18-year-old. Dude, thank you.

22:25 I think that too. I'm a bad guy.

22:26 You're rubbing off on this.

22:27 18-year-old in a weird way. What are you fucking talking about?

22:30 Hey, by the way, you're not the first 18-year-old I've rubbed off on.

22:33 Come on. That sucks to hear. I'm a bad guy. You're a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.

22:37 It's a doll. He's a bad guy.

22:39 If you want to mention, by the way, though, you get to pick a mentor at the end of this episode.

22:43 No. Yeah.

22:44 Is that true? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They told us that you're looking for a mentor.

22:49 Then tell me what the hardest thing that's been happening for me.

22:52 You have a rose under your chair and you get to give it to one of us at the end of the episode.

22:55 And we'll spin our chairs like voice style to get the rose.

22:58 You did sit on the rose, but I'd still take it.

23:00 You get to choose.

23:01 What do you do on the rose, though?

23:04 I have a lot of questions that are things that I've been experiencing that's hard. Dating a woman in media. What do you do at the events when she's gone for so long?

23:13 Dude, purse boy, come on. You gotta be the hanging purse.

23:17 If you show up, you know you're standing directly to the right of the step and repeat and letting her do her thing.

23:26 No, because I took Martha's purse, and then the public said, that's my job, and she pushed me.

23:31 Well, this is what's tough is you could also, there's another job you can do, which I try and do for Dana, which is test all the food at Crafty, make sure it's not poisoned.

23:40 That's fun.

23:41 So I take a little bite here.

23:42 Is she worried about that?

23:44 Yeah, so I text her. She's a little concerned about that because she reports the news and the government doesn't like it. There's a whole lot of stuff going on. So I'll text her, you know, like, pigs in a blanket, safe. Caesar salad, safe. Onion rings, safe.

23:58 Dude, I know because I saw that your guys' text chain got leaked on TMZ.

24:02 Everyone thought you guys were sexting, but that's what that was about.

24:04 No, no.

24:05 Crazy for them to think that was sex at all. That's crazy.

24:08 Because my fucking God, dude, you just test everything out for her.

24:11 You're just a water.

24:12 You even got a bunch of the COVID vaccines, right?

24:14 I got a bunch of COVID vaccines. I kind of, my eyes went cross-eyed for two days, but then they went back to normal.

24:21 Did you say that one was safe or not safe, the one that you took?

24:24 Well, the first one I thought was safe. And then with each progressive COVID vaccine, I took my eyes got further and further together because you're not supposed to take 16 COVID vaccines.

24:32 No, I heard it's bad for that.

24:35 What am I.

24:35 Supposed to do versus not? I'm like sick of it.

24:38 By the way, can you list the 16 manufacturers?

24:41 Yeah.

24:41 So we had Moderna, Pfizer, the other one.

24:45 Of course.

24:46 What's it called? The other one.

24:47 Johnson & Johnson. Well, that counts for two. So then we had McKinley. We had Washington, D.C.

24:55 That was a good one. That was local to that place.

24:57 We had Fisher-Price.

24:59 We had Blackstone Financial. We had Tylenol, Advil, Melatonin, Motrin, Benadryl, Claritin. And then Tate McRae did one.

25:13 Oh, I love the Tate McRae.

25:14 That was only administered after a backflip.

25:19 Yeah.

25:19 The doctor at the backflip.

25:21 Backflip component and side effects were crazy.

25:25 Yeah. I got a question for my guys. Like, is it cool if I ask it?

25:28 No, of course. This is a safe space. I'm God. Because like, my mom calls me. She's like, what are you up to today? I'm like, I don't know.

25:35 And she's like, well, you have to do stuff. And I'm like, am I the only one that's like, like, what are your schedules look like?

25:41 This is big. But a lot of people think we're freelovers, right?

25:45 Yeah. We're not like, yeah, I, I get to design my day.

25:49 I sent you the Monopoly Go brand deal I did.

25:53 Yeah.

25:53 I sent you that email that I got.

25:55 Yeah, you sent me that email. And maybe it could work for you, too.

25:57 It doesn't.

25:57 I don't think it works like that.

25:58 That's crazy, because Monopoly Go is so good for so many creators.

26:02 Dude, it was so good.

26:04 Monopoly Go was handing out $ 500 to everyone.

26:06 In the world.

26:07 But I talked to Sasha, and she was like.

26:09 That's a really, really, really, really low rate for a multi-billion dollar company.

26:15 Of course she's going to say that, right? Because her dad's E.T., right? Her dad is literally.

26:19 That's crazy to relate to.

26:20 So it's like, yeah, we get it.

26:22 She grew up, her mentor was getting dressed up as a little lady and going out and doing... trying to run away from the government.

26:29 Like, literally.

26:30 And living in the closet with a bunch of kids. It's like, how can you live up to that?

26:32 Exactly. Here's the thing that I always say to myself. It doesn't matter what anyone else sees me doing. It matters what she sees me doing.

26:39 That's so true.

26:39 So I don't care if anyone thinks I'm a loser.

26:41 If she comes home and I reorganize the Spice based on her preference, she's going to love that.

26:46 And for me, like, I say the same but the opposite. Like, it only matters what she doesn't see me doing. Because, like, low-key, when my girl goes to Cannes or TIFF or whatever, I stay home and I'm just taking... one of her credit cards and hitting the ATM every 15 minutes.

26:59 Credit card ATM. What are you buying? You're staying home? What kind of stuff are you buying? Straight up cash.

27:04 So you're kind of always prepping to get out of these relationships.

27:07 I'm a bad guy.

27:09 Yeah.

27:09 Dude.

27:10 It's inspiring.

27:11 And a credit card ATM. That's like, she's not getting notifications immediately about that.

27:15 No, because I'll literally, low key, I'll wake up my girl in the morning, I kind of put my fingers in her hair, get them tangled quick so that It hurts for a sec.

27:21 So that she's like, leave me alone.

27:22 I'm going back to sleep.

27:26 It hurts for a sec.

27:27 Why do you do that?

27:28 It's so it hurts for a sec. Why do you take it so it hurts for a sec? To what end? It's so it hurts for a sec. Stinking bad dude.

27:34 That is one of the worst things you've ever done. That's horrible.

27:37 No, no.

27:37 Low key, the plan is like, I wake up to do that, right? Like I do it like I'm initiating cuddle time, but I pretend.

27:43 It's called learn helplessness.

27:45 She told me she likes cuddles, but I pretend I don't know how to do it without getting my fingers tangled.

27:49 This is weaponizing confidence. You don't know how to cuddle? I don't know how to cuddle.

27:53 I might just twist the hair around.

27:55 Until it hurts a little bit. Until it hurts a little bit? Get this.

27:58 So then she's like, no, no, get out. Like, leave me alone. And then that's my perfect out because then she's still sleeping. I can slip out, go get us coffee, quote unquote. I make air quote bunny ears on my fingers because what I'm actually doing is taking the credit card. getting two iced lattes and 250 bucks out of the ATM.

28:12 And she doesn't check her statements, you know? And she's so fucking stupid that she might look and say, oh, go get them, Tiger. Charge for $ 17 and then ATM 250. And she might be like, that must have been the croissant part.

28:23 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

28:24 What do you do about the account manager or the business manager?

28:27 Oh, the entity.

28:28 Get this, get this. I am the business manager.

28:31 Shut the fuck up.

28:32 That's the worst thing you've said.

28:33 You did it.

28:34 That's bad.

28:35 So then I guess the question is.

28:39 Yeah, I just got a follow-up question.

28:43 Fuck!

28:43 Why are you going to an ATM getting out $ 250 if you manage all of her money? I can't eat two lattes. It feels like you can just.

28:52 Easily do it online just send yourself cash you better wait to embezzle my dog no because.

28:57 If you embezzle like listen you can't literally trust that right because crypto you got credit you got debit those things aren't tangible cold hard cash because you know when millennium hits we're gonna have no banks and i'm gonna be the only one with cold hard.

29:13 Cash That is so, that's good. And then cash will be very necessary.

29:17 Yeah, literally.

29:18 It'll be the only thing kind of like, you know, pirates and scumbags will be rolling dice for games of cash. That's like what's, that's so scary.

29:25 That is going to happen in our future. Wait, do you guys have hobbies that you do?

29:39 Yeah.

29:40 Kind of going back to my question about what are your days like?

29:44 Yeah. What's going on?

29:47 First of all, you guys live in L.A.? You live in L.A.? Yeah, born and raised. Yeah. Well, then you guys are set because L.A.

29:53 Is the capital of people walking around and you're like, what do they do?

29:58 Have you guys used a sound bar? What is that? What do you mean? A sound bar?

30:02 Is it on a TV?

30:02 Yeah.

30:03 Oh, dude, yeah. I got so many Bluetooth sound bars.

30:05 Like volume up?

30:06 Literally, dude. Oh, yeah.

30:06 Do you have to use the sound bar?

30:08 Yeah.

30:08 Like a Bose?

30:09 No, you have to. You have to get a sound bar.

30:11 Because, you know, most people are just listening to their sound straight out of the TV. But if you get a sound bar, it comes out of the sound bar.

30:16 One of my hobbies is that and the power pit.

30:18 Okay, I was going to say, because why would you say that right now? Is that your hobby?

30:20 Because it's my hobby. You were like, what do you do for fun? And I was like... Use a sound bar. Sound bar. Dude, no, but like.

30:27 Go ahead.

30:28 No, you go, you go.

30:28 Well, I was going to say I have an entrepreneur's hobby where I get up at 3.30 in the morning to like grind and think about stuff.

30:35 Dude, yeah, I've seen your posts. What are you grinding on?

30:37 So I'm grinding on like the idea of like more is going to happen and more is going on. So I'm grinding, I'm up, I'm up, I'm waking up, I have my laptop open, ice, water in my head and face. And pushups, pushups, pushups, pushups, pushups, pushups. And I'm just getting into that mindset for hustling.

30:58 Dude, you've got to read us one of your journal entries. I heard you wrote a list. So I heard through the grapevine that you were on a list.

31:06 Yeah, rumors going around about your journal entries.

31:08 Has TMZ leaked your journal entries?

31:10 Yeah, no problem.

31:11 And they were just like one word entries for 16 days in a row.

31:14 And there was so much stuff.

31:16 By the way, you have a rat in your house. Shit's getting leaked.

31:21 After a leak. Dude, and this shit's not leaked.

31:24 Look around, you have a rat in your house.

31:26 No, I trust everybody in the house. Everybody's really good.

31:28 Yeah, but have you heard of the Celebrity Leakster? Dude, wait. I hate this celebrity thing. The leprechaun?

31:36 He comes to the door and he's dressed like a plumber and he goes, I think you have a leak.

31:39 But the trick is he's the leak.

31:41 And then he gets in and he pretends he's going to fix your sink, but he just crawls under the sink and he stays for seven days.

31:46 Here's how you know. Here's how you know. He has a plumbing. He's a plunger. But there's a microphone on it. So if you see him hold it to your face.

31:54 Like the plunger, the skinny end is a microphone and the other end is a megaphone.

31:58 Wait, this literally happened to me because I clogged the toilet and then he was in the bathroom and all I heard was the sound of my own voice.

32:12 That's how your lists are getting leaked.

32:15 That's how you know you've got a leakster, man.

32:18 Oh, my God.

32:19 Legit, dude.

32:19 I've got a fucking leakster.

32:21 Okay, so this is my journal entry.

32:22 Yeah.

32:23 Number one, hustle.

32:25 Number two, grind.

32:26 Number three, mindset. Number four, work. Number five, work more. Number six, work hard. Number seven, oh yeah. Number eight, fuck yeah. Number nine, I'm there. Number ten, give me more.

32:41 It sounds like a list of vaccines I would want. Okay, no, this is the sexting. This is what TMZ thought was sexting.

32:46 TMZ has a lot of my stuff.

32:49 Dude, it sucks when you're on TMZ and you're only the famous person's boyfriend.

32:53 Like they don't even give us the name.

32:56 I'm fucking so used to it at this point.

32:58 You know what I hate?

32:59 When there's a picture of you, but it's half your face and your girl is center.

33:03 It's like, center me too.

33:04 And Perez Hilton just drew like a big sloppy dick jizzing into your mouth.

33:09 And why did he do that again?

33:10 He wants you so bad.

33:12 But dude, the paparazzi pictures of you and Martha are cute when you're in your backpack. She got that backpack for cats that has the bubble window.

33:17 The bubble window is perfect.

33:19 I go back there.

33:20 It's nice. It's really nice. I have my DS in there.

33:24 But I'll say, sometimes I feel like her glam squad squeezes me in there. And I'd rather get in there myself. It feels a little like, how do you guys feel about the glam squads? Because sometimes I'm.

33:35 Like, who are you dating?

33:36 Your girl or me?

33:37 Your girl or me?

33:38 This fucking shit at lincoln center i can't even wear my hot cheetos bow tie like it's like so annoying.

33:42 Yeah it's like fucked like that's hard roman's theater and i'm just like why can't i dress a little bit more like guy fieri.

33:49 Yeah exactly yeah you know fire for a reason like literally he's fire yeah he's fire because he's fire means fire yeah in uh spanish italian i think in spanish.

34:01 Italian i thought fieri meant his hair.

34:03 Color Yo, that wasn't cool, man. What the fuck, dude? You know he watches this, right?

34:14 Fuck, sorry.

34:15 Guys, I'm so sorry. Did I? He fucking sponsors this shit.

34:21 He's gonna see this. He's gonna see this.

34:26 He's going to be watching.

34:27 I felt like this was a safe space, and we were kind of saying all this fucked up shit.

34:31 But you've got to earn it. You're young, and you'll get your wings.

34:35 But when you pick your mentor, you've just got to be careful.

34:38 I know, by the way.

34:40 I'm out.

34:41 No, I'm still in.

34:42 I don't like your attitude.

34:43 I'm out.

34:43 Whoa.

34:44 And for that reason, I'm out.

34:45 Whoa.

34:46 No, guys, what did I do? This will fuck me up. This is hard. This will really fuck me up. Truly though, what did I do wrong?

34:53 So it's down to you two. So it's down to us. Okay, so here's the thing. I still see myself in you. You're grinding at 18 and I'm grinding at 34 and you are grinding at 18. So what I'm seeing is you're half me.

35:10 But I'll tell you something. You guys aren't going to hate her? What the hell?

35:14 Okay, so misgendering now.

35:15 Okay, for that reason, I'm out.

35:17 That's actually fascinating.

35:20 It's really weird.

35:21 I'm out.

35:22 And for that reason, he's out.

35:24 And for that reason, I'm out.

35:25 Fuck, dude, I didn't mean, I just, wait, what?

35:28 I was about to tell.

35:29 You something vulnerable.

35:30 Dude, it's so hard to be vulnerable as a famous woman's boyfriend.

35:34 CNN has a no board shorts rule.

35:39 Oh, dude.

35:40 What the fuck? What is this vulnerable?

35:41 What?

35:42 I showed up.

35:44 I showed up at CNN in board shorts.

35:46 No.

35:47 And they escorted me out.

35:49 But you know what, bro?

35:50 Like I was a criminal.

35:51 Bro, bro. But that's not your fault.

35:53 No.

35:53 Because you know why there's a no board shorts rule?

35:55 Why?

35:55 Because of fucking Jake Tapper. I know it. So don't fucking. It's his sword.

35:59 It's him.

36:00 Yeah, don't do that, bro. Jake Tapper fucked you. It's not you, dude.

36:04 Think about it.

36:04 It doesn't make any sense. Everyone at CNN is sitting behind a desk, right? So why would they care what kind of shorts you're wearing?

36:09 Why would they give a shit? Why is there one rule for the anchors and another rule for the anchor boyfriends, huh? Like, literally.

36:14 And by the way, if there's anchors, there must be boats and there must be board shorts.

36:18 By the way.

36:19 Yeah.

36:19 There must be water. By the way. Okay, dude, you need to relax. I thought, like, maybe, like, if there's boats, there's, like, also, like, water. You need to cool it. Because you're saying a lot of kind of crazy shit.

36:30 Can I ask you guys a question? So I had a crazy dream, and it was a combo.

36:36 That is a good question.

36:37 That's a great question.

36:37 So I had a crazy dream.

36:39 Dream.

36:40 Yes.

36:40 Can I ask you guys another question?

36:42 Yes or no, did you have a crazy dream?

36:43 So in my crazy dream, I had this realization that one day, potentially, I would no longer have this girlfriend if I did something stupid or bad.

36:53 And it was just me on my own.

36:55 So I guess I was just wondering, if you guys were to suddenly wake up, and you're single, and you don't have a famous partner, your girlfriend is not famous and in fact you're single, what would you guys do?

37:08 What would I do?

37:10 Well, I'd probably call Dana, see what's going on.

37:12 No, you can't because you're not married.

37:14 But you could call her and ask her what's going on.

37:16 I could probably call her and say what's going on.

37:18 You could always call any woman and ask what's going on.

37:20 In this world, Dana Bash has never existed.

37:24 So call a different woman and ask what's going on.

37:26 Okay, maybe I call my mom and ask what's going on.

37:28 Okay, great.

37:29 Sure, yeah.

37:29 Is that okay?

37:31 Yeah. Yeah.

37:33 What would you guys do?

37:34 That's all you do.

37:36 Well, that's step one.

37:37 After that, I can't even conceive of a reality because I would probably skateboard back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth till end of time.

37:46 Yeah.

37:47 Yeah. I guess I would like do what I did before I met Sasha and kind of how I met Sasha is turn to the tarot.

37:55 So like, One day I was in Outwater Village at a crystal store. Such a sweet little village.

38:01 Dude.

38:01 I love that village.

38:02 Right? Dude.

38:03 I think it's pretty cute.

38:04 Those people care about each other.

38:05 It's like not even a village. It's like a town.

38:07 No, literally.

38:07 It's the village where they shot the Shire.

38:09 I think.

38:09 There are many stories about its history.

38:11 Really?

38:11 Yeah.

38:12 Lord of the Rings, too, right?

38:13 There are wonderful traditions in that village. Have you ever dined at the traditional wine and egg?

38:18 Yeah, dude.

38:19 Wine and egg. This is so nice, and it's only a little bit overpriced.

38:23 Well, they have their very own unique cultures, like the cultures at Club TG.

38:28 Yeah.

38:28 Where it's like, you try to talk at the bar, but the music from the dance floor right next door is too loud.

38:33 That is their custom.

38:34 Yeah. But for some reason, everybody wants that.

38:36 Or the Holy Temple goodies. Oh, yeah.

38:39 Anyway, so I was in Outward Village, and I saw these tarot cards, and I said, what the heck are these?

38:43 And this girl said, hey, just open them up, and let's see what happens. It's like, open them up. And basically the tarot cards were like kind of mind blowing. They said, take a walk. And so I take a walk. And then all of a sudden. The tarot card said take a walk? Yeah, it said take a walk.

38:55 What?

38:55 Oh, dude, dude, dude. Sorry, sorry. We talked about this.

38:57 So when it's a black circle, it's a magic eight ball.

39:01 No, that's tarot. No, no, no.

39:03 Tarot's the cards and magic eight ball is the ball that you sometimes shake and it'll say yes, no, maybe so.

39:07 Take a walk, stuff like that.

39:08 I swear to God, this girl said it's tarot.

39:11 Tarot cards.

39:12 Oh, I was holding tarot cards. And she said, those are tarot cards. And I went, what?

39:15 And I shook the magic egg roll. Yeah, that could have been it. So it said, take a walk. So it said, take a walk. And then so I took a walk.

39:21 Boom.

39:21 Sitting right there at Bar Sinitsky is Sasha Spilberg.

39:25 It's Sinitsky.

39:27 Sinitsky. It's Sinitsky. It's Sinispia. Sinespia. So sitting right at Bar Sinespia is Sasha Spielberg. Of course. Of course, duh.

39:34 Talking to her dad on the phone, which means she was lifting up her finger and it was glowing on the tip.

39:37 Yeah, she was lifting up her finger and glowing on the tip because her dad is E.T., as you've said.

39:41 Sasha phone dad.

39:42 She was, like, covered in Dune sauce. Like, Dune's a restaurant.

39:48 She was covered in it.

39:49 Oh, like the tahini?

39:50 Yeah.

39:50 She's at Taziki. Who missed?

39:52 I literally thought that's what Kylie Jenner's probably covered in all the time.

39:57 You're a bad dude.

39:58 I'm a bad guy.

40:01 Guys, by the way, he's coming to my next meetup. Boyfriend's meetup. He's officially a famous boyfriend.

40:06 Timmy Chalamet.

40:06 That's hard, though, because he's famous.

40:08 You can't be famous and a famous boyfriend.

40:12 That doesn't feel like it.

40:13 That doesn't feel like it.

40:14 I told him he can't talk about it himself.

40:17 Dude, I'm sorry, but for that reason, I'm out.

40:19 Yeah, I'm out, dude.

40:19 You're out of my party?

40:21 I'm out. I'm out.

40:22 I'm out.

40:23 What do you mean?

40:23 And for that reason, I'm out.

40:25 I know you're out with me.

40:27 I'm out on you.

40:29 Bro, but are you coming to my party?

40:31 For that reason, I'm out.

40:32 You shouldn't have asked me. I was in before that.

40:35 What?

40:35 Oh, look, guys. What do you guys.

40:37 Because, like, this is such a thing of, like, famous women's boyfriends.

40:41 I love when you talk like a toddler, like, every couple minutes. I love when you got nothing to say but start talking.

40:49 It's such a dude thing, especially a famous woman's boyfriend thing to start talking without knowing what you're going to say.

40:56 Well, this was my question, though. If you're at an event and there's a bunch of other famous women's boyfriends around, like, all the famous women are up, like, and they're doing their, like, camera thing.

41:04 Yeah.

41:05 Like.

41:05 and you're just sitting with the other boyfriends, like what's your opening line to like get the other dude to bro down with you?

41:11 Like, Oh, that's a good question. And this is something you should listen to. I go up to them and I just go, what a fucking suckers here tonight.

41:20 Dude, that's an epic opening.

41:21 Yeah. A lot of fucking suckers here tonight.

41:25 Immediately make them feel like they're in the in-group and everyone else is the out-group. And then all of a sudden, you guys were fucking besties.

41:31 Dude, that rules. Wow, that's so true. That's good. That's good.

41:35 I'm going to write that down.

41:36 What do you do?

41:37 Dude, again? I mean, God, dude. Again?

41:40 If I can just say it. Low key, again, for me, for real.

41:44 What again?

41:45 What does it mean?

41:46 You said this first time.

41:48 Do you need a fruit roll-up? Get a fruit roll-up. She needs a fruit roll-up.

41:51 For me, I mean, to be honest, again, for me, it's just something as simple as I'm not attending the events most of the time. Usually I'm at home changing the title of the house to my name.

42:00 You know what I mean? So stuff like that. That stuff takes.

42:04 So long to do. You're a bad dude.

42:06 I'm a bad dude.

42:07 It takes a long time to do that stuff, and that's important.

42:14 God we look so hot jeremy do you think there's a reason why.

42:19 I can't figure it out maybe i have one idea though it's merch get our exclusive winter beanie get.

42:29 Our exclusive sweatshirt yeah we also have hats and totes so much.

42:34 Fun stuff we sell merch it's real all of it go buy it we'll put.

42:38 The link in the bio right now.

42:42 By the way, I mean, someone asked earlier about glam squad and it's like that's it's like y'all are playing checkers. I'm playing Nerf guns, super soaker, run around the cul-de-sac, get your ass waterboard you because I'm on a different level.

42:53 What does that mean to you? Again with me?

42:57 It just means I'm playing on the aggressive like I'm on the offense. You know what I mean? So with my girl, like she doesn't have a glam squad. Because I've kind of low-key gaslit her and more than in the fart way with the lights off and the door closed.

43:09 The way you stick her hair.

43:10 More than that.

43:11 Yeah.

43:12 My fingers are tangled in her hair. She's in the dark.

43:14 It smells like my farts. And I'm just kind of saying, I say stuff like, your skin's looking old lately. And I kind of just mention it on a Wednesday. And then I'll mention it on Thursday.

43:24 Guess what, a Friday. And it's so mean to say, not you're looking old, your skin's looking old.

43:29 Because that's something that it feels like you can fix if it's cold to you.

43:32 Because then she gets mad at me. I said, what?

43:33 I was talking about your skin, not you.

43:35 That's nuts.

43:36 So then I do that, plant those little seeds after a while. And then by time come June, I've convinced her that her glam squad needs to be fired. And I should be doing glam. And then that way I'm getting the extra income from that too.

43:49 And you use your power of attorney.

43:51 You're observing all the jobs.

43:52 I'm above board with the money managing.

43:55 It's almost kind of like a Hollywood version of Munchausen's by proxy.

43:58 Exactly. Where you make her feel sick. It really is.

44:01 You know, you really should have a commercial agent who's looking out for your brand deals a little bit more.

44:05 And then you observe.

44:07 Your girl's glam has gotten better. She's looking great out there.

44:12 You're doing great work.

44:15 Have you guys seen Project Hail Mary? That fucking movie, dude.

44:23 Ryan the Godling.

44:25 Ryan the Godling, dude.

44:29 I imagine being in space alone with a rock that talks.

44:32 Dude.

44:32 Dude. My little dream.

44:36 It's kind of a dream to think about that sometimes, just being out there with nobody in space trying to figure it out.

44:43 Totally.

44:44 Are you okay?

44:45 Are you okay?

44:47 No pranks, no nothing.

44:49 You don't have to live with a dude. Hey, bro.

44:51 I'm out.

44:55 Oh.

44:55 Oh, hey, not now, dude. What the hell, man? And for that reason, I never went out on you, and now I'm out on you.

45:02 No, no, no, no.

45:03 You were the last one I had.

45:04 You blew it.

45:05 You freaking blew it.

45:06 But, dude, talk.

45:07 Well, it's just like, like, look, genuinely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, Sasha is awesome, but she can be mean.

45:15 Yeah.

45:16 She can cut.

45:17 She cuts? Not cut like physically. She does physically cut me.

45:21 She cuts?

45:22 She cuts.

45:22 Like paper cut or like?

45:24 Like sometimes I wake up and she's cutting my hair.

45:26 Oh. Fuck, dude.

45:28 Okay, dude, I didn't want to say anything, but that's why you look so low-key chopped.

45:31 Yeah, that's true.

45:32 What are you talking about?

45:33 No, just like your hair looks kind of crazy.

45:36 Well, your haircut is seven different lengths.

45:38 And in the back, dude, you can't see this, but you're bald.

45:41 What?

45:41 It's like been shit buzzed.

45:42 It's completely buzzed.

45:43 Oh!

45:43 Yeah, and then she shaved in at the bottom of below the bald spot. Sasha was here.

45:48 Dude, like, have you seen that movie Obsession?

45:50 Yeah.

45:51 Sometimes she's acting like that girl, but I never made no wish. I never made no wish.

45:56 Fuck, dude.

45:57 Yeah.

45:58 It's heavy.

45:58 Wow.

45:59 I love her so much, and I would never leave her because she pays for my entire life, and I get to surf all the time. But sometimes she does crazy things. She'll call my mom and tell my mom I've died.

46:09 Dude.

46:12 Sometimes Misty Colbert makes me put her ballet outfits on, and she calls me a slug.

46:17 Slug?

46:17 She's so much bigger in them than she is.

46:19 Oh, my God.

46:20 Oh my god oh my god you're such a slug you're such a slug.

46:26 Does she like hollow out the frame of a mirror and make you stand on the other side of it like she's talking to herself i've.

46:30 Let myself go i'm such a slug that could.

46:33 Be like a therapeutic technique i'm nasty yeah and she makes you mouth the words at the same time she's saying it.

46:41 Wow that's girlfriends are crazy yeah girl let's just be crazy i think dana's making me take the sat what why dude.

46:50 That seems positive though that could.

46:51 Be positive i know i guess it could be fun like she's like she's like spinning it to me as like hey i think it could be fun for you to like learn some new words maybe try some logic puzzles sort of like work on some like getting like point a to point b like that cognitively like that kind of stuff so she's trying to make it like uh i get ice cream at the end you know what you.

47:10 Should say to her sat on my face T-bag.

47:15 T-bag. I'm a bad guy.

47:16 You're a bad guy.

47:16 You're a bad guy. That's so true.

47:18 Sat on my face.

47:19 Sat on my face.

47:21 That's tense. Sat on my face.

47:23 That's a sad on my face. Yeah.

47:25 No, that's actually a good tip, though, because low key, low genuinely, some of these word puzzles are kind of hard.

47:34 Name one.

47:34 Name a word puzzle.

47:37 The one that's tripping me up a lot is railroad is to car as road is to blank.

47:45 That can't be on the SAT. Railroad is to car as car is to blank. Then you fill it in. Railroad is to car. As car.

47:55 Railroad is to car as road is to train.

47:58 I think it's true.

47:59 I think it is train.

48:00 I think it is train. What? I don't think so.

48:04 No, actually this does make sense.

48:06 As road is to train.

48:07 As road is to train.

48:08 So railroad is to car. That means that railroad is to train. and that means car is to train.

48:16 So like each transportation mode took its own brother. Does this make sense?

48:19 Yes, that's exactly what I'm thinking.

48:21 Took its own brother?

48:23 So it's like two siblings separated and sitting across from each other at a table.

48:27 This is not how word puzzles work.

48:30 There's no brother.

48:31 It's like a Sadie Hawkins dance where the train tracks asks the car and the car asks the road.

48:36 Yes!

48:37 I've made my decision. I don't want any of you guys to be my mentors.

48:44 What?

48:44 Well, yeah, of course.

48:45 What the hell?

48:46 Why?

48:46 I don't know what this feeling is.

48:49 We're all out, so you can't even choose. Okay, fine.

48:51 We'll continue.

48:52 But tell us why.

48:53 No, if you don't want to.

48:54 Know, you don't know.

48:55 No, no, no.

48:56 I had to add a little comment, but we want to know. No, I'm back in. Tell me why.

49:00 Yeah, he's not back in.

49:02 And look at me, look at me.

49:03 I'm in.

49:04 Okay, let me have a seat.

49:06 Wait a minute. Let me turn my chair back around. I'm back in.

49:09 What do you want me to say, brother?

49:11 I'm out.

49:12 I don't know what this energy is, but I don't think I want to be near a lady or near you guys. i kind of want to go do my own thing okay so for me what what goes on with me and my girl um is like she you know i'm managing everything that she's got going on in her life you know i got all her money i kind of told her like um Your friends are bitches, and they all try to sleep with me, even though that's not true, so that she kind of breaks off all of her relationships. And then that way, you know, I've got her right where I want her, you know, isolated in a bikini.

49:44 Isolated in a bikini.

49:45 When did she get in a bikini?

49:46 When did she put the bikini on?

49:47 Oh, because I say, this is another part of gas licensing. Gas licensing, actually.

49:52 You have lice. Get outside.

49:54 You have lice?

49:55 You're crazy.

49:56 You have lice? You have lice and it's outside? You've got to say, try this on your girl.

49:59 You have lice. You better jump in the pool.

50:01 Go outside.

50:01 Okay.

50:02 Put a bikini on.

50:03 Yeah, exactly.

50:03 Then she thinks she has lice, and she gets a bikini on.

50:06 Yeah, and then I go, you better fire your hairstylist, and then I become the hairstylist.

50:09 Oh, my God.

50:10 And then what do you do with that? You get the money from that? I do her hair, bro. Okay, that's all you end up with.

50:13 I cut it real short, so my job's easy. Carey Mulligan, she's one of my exes.

50:17 Whoa.

50:18 Whoa.

50:18 Not Jennifer.

50:19 Yeah, that was before I got into the Jennifers.

50:22 That's sick as fuck.

50:22 Yeah.

50:23 She's doing Carey's for a while.

50:24 Because to be honest i did all the carries i did bradshaw i did mulligan.

50:27 I did fisher fisher of course.

50:30 Um grant even i do the boys old school hollywood.

50:32 And carry comma jim jim carry yeah carry comma jim um and i changed my name so that.

50:38 It alphabetically is a you know reflection and it's a it correlates what's your end.

50:43 Game money dude but like what are you gonna do with the money Have it, be.

50:48 Big, put it on my bed, roll around in it.

50:51 Have it be big.

50:52 Have it be big. Isn't that... Is that okay?

50:54 That makes sense to me.

50:56 You're a bad dude, but I get it, I get it, I get it.

50:59 Yeah, I'm a bad dude.

51:00 I've said it since the day I met you guys.

51:02 Yeah. Nice.

51:03 But anyway, so you're going to do your own thing.

51:04 What does that look like? Yeah, like, what are you trying to say?

51:07 What are you thinking, man?

51:09 I'm out.

51:10 What do you mean? Like, you were having so much fun with this bad dude earlier. Like, what happened?

51:15 I think I want to go back to school.

51:17 What, dude?

51:17 Try these on.

51:19 You want to break up with Martha and go back to school?

51:21 Hey, they will show you another life, but be careful. Once you see it, you cannot unsee it.

51:28 We've all worn the glasses at one point.

51:30 We've all seen it.

51:32 It's bro vision.

51:34 It's bro vision.

51:35 It's boyfriend vision. It's boyfriend vision.

51:36 Do you want to put this on and go monster bite.

51:39 In the corner?

51:40 Monster bite.

51:41 You can go monster bite in the corner.

51:42 Monster bite?

51:43 Ah, monster bite.

51:45 That's funny. Monster of the bite. What do you see? What do you see, dude?

51:54 Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

51:55 What do you see? Explain it. Explain to us what you're seeing.

51:58 Mama, you're so hard to handle now. Mess around.

52:01 What?

52:01 What?

52:01 I hear something.

52:04 Wait, it has sound.

52:05 No, that was him saying. Let me light your candle now.

52:09 What?

52:12 Hey, little thing, let me light your candle because, mama, I'm so hard to handle now.

52:17 Mess around.

52:18 Mess around.

52:18 Bow, bow, bow.

52:22 One, two. Prince is kneel before you.

52:25 Just go ahead now.

52:27 Prince is kneel before you. Just go ahead now.

52:31 What do you see?

52:32 Yeah, what do you see?

52:33 I'm hearing weird sounds. No, what do you see? I see two cameras. Oh, you just see it.

52:40 Oh, they must not be on. Oh, here, here.

52:42 Oh, fuck. There you go.

52:44 Boo!

52:44 Yeah!

52:47 This has been Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists answering the question. Now that's how they call a show of business. Give it up for our guest, Lisa Gilroy!

52:52 We love you, Lisa.

52:54 Bad dude, Lisa Gilroy. Bad dude, Lisa Gilroy. She's a bad dude.

52:59 What can people see of yours? What are you excited about?

53:01 We'll link it or whatever.

53:03 Oh, um, hmm, hmm, hmm.

53:05 When does this come out? We don't know.

53:07 September?

53:08 September?

53:09 Live from the beautiful Dynasty Typewriter.

53:13 We'll link whatever. We'll link it.

53:15 We'll link it. This is on us. See you in the Patreon.

53:19 Bye.

53:20 Bye. Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists is an improvised Hollywood roundtable podcast created and hosted by Kylie Brakeman, Jeremy Colhane, Anjali Giratana, and Patrick McDonald. It is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Media Podcasts. Executive produced by Matt Apodaca and produced by Alexandra Dennis and Laser Vision Productions. Music by Gabriel Ponton and edited by Connor McCabe. Thumbnail art by Josh Flory and logo design by Lucy Tomkowitz. Special thanks to Samuel Curtis and the beautiful Dynasty Typewriter Theater. The opinions expressed on this podcast do not reflect the opinions of anyone who works on it, not even the performers, because this is an improvised podcast and we don't know what the heck we're

54:01 talking about. Full video versions of AOAOAOA are available on YouTube, so please like and subscribe and leave us five-star reviews wherever you get your podcasts.

54:11 That's all for now. Good night, Hollywood!