The Hard Truth About What Makes a Christian Marriage Last - Bishop Mar Mari Emmanuel

0:02 All right, so this evening we are continuing our journey in our series of lectures, Relationship in Christ, and today it is part five. So let's go straight into it. Just to recap what we have done thus far, we started with the first part of Relationship in Christ, and that was to do with the expanding God's kingdom. And we spoke about a parable that was in Luke 13, 18 to 21. The parable the Lord Jesus gave about the mustard seed and the leaven. And we spoke on how God's kingdom must grow and expand. And we spoke about the mustard seed and the leaven. They both naturally grow and expand. There is nothing stopping them. So that's how God wants his kingdom to continually grow and expand and conquer the whole earth. And then we spoke for

1:10 three parts about how to develop our belief system. And we spoke that the human being is made out of body, soul, and spirit. And we went into depth and details about the conscious, the subconscious mind, and the will, and all the feelings, the emotions, and all those things. what affects and what influences the human being and how the human being develops his and her own belief system. And we spoke in three separate sessions. Today, my beloved, we are going to address something that is mentioned in the Holy Bible as the great mystery, i.e. love, which is matrimonial bond.

2:00 So today we'll be talking about the great mystery, which is love. And this love is definitely addressing the holy matrimony. We find St. Paul in Ephesians chapter 5. He calls this love the great mystery or holy matrimony. One thing we need to know, love is the supreme ethic. Also, love is the foundation of our very existence. If it wasn't for love, nothing would have existed. This is why Christianity, the Holy Bible, teaches us that God is love itself.

2:43 He is not a love giver, but he is love itself. And that's why love is love. Supreme ethic. Love precedes life and everything else thereafter. And you only find this in Christianity. That love comes before life. Every other religion claims that life comes first, then love. But it's only Christianity claims that love is the beginning to life and to everything thereafter. And so true. What would we have done with a life... that had no love in it.

3:22 If life is the beginning and life had no love in it, it would have been an absolute hell. What makes life truly life is love. A life without love is hell. And what is hell? The absence of God's love, which is death. That's what hell is. A place where there is no love, there is death. So, it is through love that the two become one. holy matrimony, marriage.

3:54 It is that love that makes the two one. I'm going to go here and we're going to look at these two different charts here or tables. It's a comparison between the New and the Old Testament. Ephesians chapter 5 verses 30 to 32 and Genesis chapter 2 verses 23 to 25. In both references, they are three verses. So Ephesians 5, 30 to 32 is three verses. And Genesis 2, 23 to 25 is also three verses. And these three verses, they go hand in hand as if St. Paul and Moses were sitting together and writing the scriptures. Let's look at it. Look at Ephesians 5. Verse 30, it says, for we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones. Look at Genesis 2 verse 23.

4:58 And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones. He's talking about Eve. This is now a bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Ephesians 5 30 for we are members of his body of his flesh and of his bones same same words look at verse 31 in Ephesians 5 for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh equivalent Genesis 2 24 therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh Identical. And look at the last verse in Ephesians 5 verse 32. This is a great mystery. But I speak concerning Christ and the church.

5:52 Genesis 2 25. And they were both naked. The man and his wife. And were not ashamed. A comparison between Ephesians 5 and Genesis chapter 2. How the Holy Bible is so perfectly written. Inspired by the Holy Spirit to the Old Testament prophets and the New Testament writers, my beloved. Over 40 writers wrote the entire Holy Bible. It took around 1600 years from Moses to book of Revelation written by our beloved John, one of the 12 apostles of Christ.

6:37 Between Moses and John the beloved writing the book of Revelation in Padmos in the heart of the Mediterranean Sea in the beautiful Greece. St. John the Beloved writes the book of Revelation. Between Moses and John the Apostle is 1600 years approximately. Over 40 writers. All of them different times, different ages, different level of educations. Yet all of them wrote about this sweetheart. Jesus Christ of Nazareth. So perfectly only God can do it. No man, no other power can do. Only God. So Now, we come to this great mystery called love, i.e. holy matrimony. Now, why did St.

7:26 Paul call it the great mystery? Well, because in Ephesians 5.32, St. Paul says, this is a great mystery. But I speak concerning Christ and the church. Why is it the great mystery? It is concerning Christ and the church because in verse 31 he says, And the two shall become one flesh. So St. Paul calls it the great mystery because Christ and the church shall become one flesh. They will become one. Inseparable.

8:08 He is saying this kind of a unity for me, And for all of us, no one could ever fathom, understand. That's why this kind of a love, I can only call it the great mystery. How Christ and the church are one, I will never understand it. It is so deep. It is so profound. It is so overwhelming. It's the work of God. The human intellect can't fathom it. I'll just call it the great mystery. And rest my case.

8:45 So now. Let's look at it. Why is it the great mystery? Can anyone explain the unity between Christ and the church? When Christ comes and says the church is my body. When Christ says the church is his body. Now who is the church? That is the question. Who is the church? Who do you think the church is?

9:10 Ask the Christians. The baptized souls in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. One God in nature, one God in essence. We are the church of Christ. Well, St. Paul says this great mystery is where Christ unites to the church. And the church unites to him. And they become one flesh. How did that happen? True story. Divine love. It is the love that makes the two one. Nothing else can do it except love. The two become one. Now, we continue.

9:57 We are the church. the Christian world the baptized souls and the try on God's name we are the church the bride of Christ is the what the body of Christ so the church is the body of Christ and what is Christ to this body he is the head So when the head is attached to the body, how many is there? Only one. We become one. Inseparable. Neither the head can be without the body, nor the body can live without the head. The two together is perfect being.

10:44 It's perfect being. Now, Who can explain this unity, this oneness, where Christ and I, where Christ and all of us become one? No one can explain it. That's why it is the great mystery. That's why it is the great mystery. Now, the Holy Spirit, through St. Paul, Calls this love the great mystery. The two become one flesh. We become the body and Christ the head. We become one. We become one.

11:33 This is the great mystery of love. Divine love. Now divine love makes the two one. Look at Matthew 19, 6. So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate. What God has joined together, let no one separate that unity. This is why with God, it is only marriage. There is no divorces. God hates divorce. hates it because God is the God of unity love is unity love cannot be in division in separation love is in unity found powerful and strong embedded in unity so now what God has joined together let not man separate Because the Pharisees and the scribes asked the Lord Jesus, they said, why did Moses give a divorce for people who wanted to divorce?

12:51 He said, It wasn't so from the beginning. Haven't you read the scriptures? What did God do? He brought the two and made them one. He said, these two are no longer two, but they are one. Because what God has joined together, let no one separate it. But the reason why Moses gave that divorce letter or paper, because of your stubbornness, because of your hearts that are like rocks, he was concerned for the woman not to be hurt by the man. Remember, back then it wasn't like the 21st century in the western world where the woman now is the boss. It was the man who was the boss.

13:33 If the man was to lose it and get angry, gets up and kills his wife, the government would give him a medal. They'll say, now that's a man that taught a good lesson for his wife. So he said, because the men had too much power, they destroyed and ruined it. So Moses, out of fear for the well-being of the women, allowed the divorce to take place. But it's not of God's. But it was Moses, out of fear for the women's well-being, he led that divorce to take place. Lest the man ends up killing his wife.

14:18 And especially Middle Eastern men, they can be very boiled up quickly. And I don't know, maybe some other countries, I'm not sure. But anyway, my beloved, we are united to Christ. As Christians, when we look at each other, we need to see Christ in us. As Christians, when we look at each other, we need to see Christ in every single one of us. And when Christ looks at us, he wants to see himself in us. So when we look at each other, do we find Christ?

14:54 Do we see him or do we see so-and-so? That's why we get angry at each other and we retaliate very badly towards one another or against one another. But when we look at each other and we see Christ, not us, when you look at me and you see Christ, not Bishop Marie, then everything is fine. But if you see the bishop, you may not like the bishop. And that's why you're going to be kind of very resentful towards the bishop. But if you see Christ in him, you'll be very loving, caring and very kind toward him.

15:27 And when Christ looks at us, he wants to see himself in us. So therefore, as Christians, are we representing Christ on earth? That's the question. Are we representing Christ on earth? Now, preparations for this great mystery. We spoke why it's the great mystery, because it's the unity of Christ and the church together. The church is the body.

15:57 Christ is the head. They become one flesh. This is the great mystery. How can God unite this piece of, you know, dust to himself and says we are all one? He is the holy of holies and we are all sinners. How is he uniting himself and making us one in him? It blew St. Paul's mind away, and I'm sure all of us. And that's why I can't comprehend what God has done. Therefore, this kind of a love is unheard of, never seen, except in the person of Christ. That's why this love is called the great mystery. So now, how do we prepare for this great mystery? How do we prepare for this great mystery? There are two ways in preparation for it. One is called biological, the other one biblical.

16:52 So biologically and biblically, we need to prepare for this great mystery. What is this great mystery? This divine love where we are united to Christ and Christ to us and we become one flesh. How do we prepare for this kind of mystery? Let's look at the biological way. Biological stages of human growth. And now please pay more attention.

17:22 There are four stages to every single one of us biological growth. Four stages. The first one. This is all clinical medical terminologies. The first one. Pre-embryonic stage. It is the stage between the weeks zero to two weeks. That's pre-embryonic. Second stage, embryonic. It is between the weeks of three to eight weeks. And the third stage, fetal stage, between the week nine and birth. Then the fourth stage is the baby stage, neonatal period to infancy, which is from zero to 12 months. Neonatal stage, it is between zero and 28 days. But to infancy, From the time the baby is born till the time the baby is infant, that is 12 months. From 0 to 12 months. That's the stage of infancy. When the baby is born and

18:25 becomes an infant, that baby is at the age of now 12 months. It's a period of 12 months to infancy. From birth to infancy. So there are four stages. Pre-embryonic, embryonic, fetal, and then the baby is born. These are the four stages of our biological growth. These four stages are also clearly illustrated in the relationship that leads to holy matrimony.

18:58 In other words, marriage. So these four stages, pre-embryonic, embryonic, fetal, and baby... are also clearly seen in the relationship that leads to marriage. Also, the relationship from start to being married on that big day of the wedding day, from the time you met till the time you are here standing before the holy altar and the priest and say to each other, I do, also requires four stages of preparation before you get married. Let's look at it, my beloved.

19:35 Let's look at the first stage, pre-embryonic. Pre-embryonic stage, which is from zero to two weeks, where does that fit in the relationship that leads to matrimonial bond? Where does that fit? that fits from the time of conception to the time of meeting your sweetheart for the first time so mom and dad please pay attention from the moment you find out that you are pregnant my daughter or from the moment that baby is conceived in that mother's womb, from that moment, mom and dad's role, and more so mom, but also dad in a very big way as well, their role is to prepare this baby for the future, for one day to be a good, successful husband and father forever. or to be a good, successful wife and mother.

20:42 From the time the baby is conceived, you need to prepare that baby that one day this baby is going to grow older and become a man and then a husband and then a father. She's going to grow and become a mature woman and then she will be a wife one day and then a mother one day. Preparation for that wedding day starts at age zero first day of conception the mother's role when the baby is in her womb if it's a boy or a girl the mother should be saying hello baby you talk to your baby because the baby knows everything you have no idea how smart the baby is So the mom should be always comfortable. That's where the role of the husband comes, that you make sure your wife is the most comfortable ever in her life during that pregnancy period. Because it

21:40 is extremely foundational for the well-being of your baby who's going to take that lead from you and become one day a husband or a wife, father or mother. It has to go on. So you talk to that baby and say, hello, baby. Mama and Papa love you so much. We love you. We can't wait for you to come. We can't wait. But listen, my baby. I know, I believe the Lord has given us you. And we are so grateful to the Lord Jesus for you. While in the tummy, while in the womb. Listen, my baby. You need to be a loving person. You need to love the Lord Jesus. You need to fear the Lord Jesus.

22:27 You need to be A kind person. You need to be a giving person. You need to be a humble person. You need to be a self-sacrificing person. You need to speak to that baby while in the womb of everything Christ had taught us all our life. And when the baby comes... You raise that baby in the love of Christ.

22:55 You start bringing the baby to the church. Whether the baby cries not, stays not, you bring the baby to church, my beloved. Instill Christ in them and teach them the way of the Lord Jesus from the time they are born till they become mature adults. Because what you instill in them will remain in them for the rest of their life and praying forever more to come. So, teach that baby how to become a successful husband, a father, or a successful wife, mother. Teach that baby. So pre-embryonic stage, when you put it in the relationship that leads to matrimonial bond, It is from the day the baby is conceived in the mother's womb till that baby is a grown up and goes out and meets Juliet for the first time. So now that's the pre embryonic stage. Now

24:05 we go to the embryonic stage, which is weeks three to eight. We put it in a relationship. Where does it what does it fit? Meeting your partner for the first time and for the next three months. So the embryonic stage is now I went out and my eyes fell on this gazelle. And my heart started pumping so heavily.

24:30 It started dancing the Assyrian traditional dance called Shaykhani. So it started dancing Shaykhani or you know the western style. So I walked up to this girl for the first time and I'm shaking. I introduced myself. From the time you met that person, for the next three months, getting to know the person, that is the embryonic stage. In those three months, you would have had a clear picture.

25:03 What kind of a person you're dealing with? What kind of a person you're going out with? What kind of a person... you are going to continue living with. For the first three months, you need to make a decision. After three months, comes the fetal stage. Fetal stage is week nine to birth. Fetal stage fits in, the decision has to be made after three months Whether to walk away or to continue to engagement. I know this is going to probably shock some of us here. My beloved, the healthiest way of starting a relationship that is going to lead to marriage is when you meet them for the first time. You go out with them. But what you need to do throughout this journey, you need to come back to church and speak to your spiritual father,

26:10 to the priest. Say, Father, I met this man and we started dating. So he asked me to go out. I want to meet you. I want to get to know you. So we started going out. We started having coffee, dinner, whatever. But it has to be within limit, within boundary. You can't just be an open door, my daughter. Don't fall into the trap because he smiled into your face and he looked like Romeo all the way. No, you need to be cautious. The first three months, you are finding out what kind of a person he is. And also, my son, you are finding out what kind of a person she is. So in those three months, you will have a very clear picture. The way they talk, the way they walk, the way they dress, the way they behave.

26:57 You will know a very clear picture what kind of a person you're dealing with. After the three months, a decision must be made. Do I continue or walk away? You have to make a decision. Why? Because if you keep it longer, you will ask for one thing and one thing only, troubles. Because let me tell you one thing marriage if there is anything on the face of this earth that is not a joke is marriage It's it is not a joke at all. In fact Marriage is not funny. Marriage is not easy marriage Cannot be taken lightly you see before marriage you were going out with your boyfriend and For the three months. No more.

27:54 So your boyfriend said a joke and you were in the midst of a group of people, young men and women. He said a joke. Nobody laughed except you, my daughter, because he is your man. So you laughed for the sake of, you know, not breaking his heart. And then you said, oh, that was so funny, honey. Man, see.

28:16 No wonder I chose you. You are so sweet. Look at you. You are my honey, my sugar bun. The joke was ridiculous, right? Imagine you get married and he says the same joke. You will put his head through the wall. Shut up. Be quiet. You say this joke again, you will sleep with mama tomorrow. Go home to your own mama. Don't stay here. So marriage is known to make things more complex. Not funny at all. Therefore, the fetal stage is after three months. You make a decision.

29:02 Do I continue or walk away? You need to know. Three months are more than enough time to discern if he or she is for you or not. So now the fetal stage. I make a decision. If you make a decision to continue to engagement. Lord have mercy. When you go to the engagement stage. The engagement must take place maximum 12 months. Maximum 12 months. I know sometimes.

29:40 many young men and women are engaged and they've been engaged for the last four years, five years. It's a case that is opened, unsettled. The longer you drag it on, the more arguments, quarreling, fighting will happen 100%. You know why? Because if the case is not settled and finalized with marriage, every man and his dog will enter your life and will determine how you should live and relate to one another.

30:16 Your friend will come and say, don't do whatever she wants. Or your girlfriend will come and say, don't do whatever he says. You do as you want, okay? Break his head, make him suffer. So you start arguing and fighting. It has to be settled once you decide to go to engagement. 12 months. Go to her parents. Make it happen, brother.

30:42 Put the ring of engagement. And that beautiful finger. Now, the last stage is the baby. After fetal is nine, the ninth week to birth. After birth, the baby comes. The baby is born. The baby is born. It's the day of your wedding. That is the baby born. So when the beautiful couple come and stand before the holy altar and the priest, and they say to each other, I do, before the almighty God and the priesthood rank, that big wedding day is the day where the baby is born. That couple is a new born baby. And how many the baby is? How many is there? It's only one baby, isn't it? When the baby is born, there is only one baby. That's why the couple on that wedding day are no more two. They are one.

31:45 They are one baby. They are one baby. No more two. From that moment onwards, they will always be one baby. There will never be two babies fighting at each other. One. The baby is born This is why I want to encourage couples who are married and never had children. Do not be disheartened for not having children because you are the baby. If there is no children, God did not give you children, then thank God because He gave you two to each other. You two became that baby. So you do have a baby. You do have a baby.

32:38 It is the couple. And sometimes poor women, when she has about three children, you ask her, you say, how many children do you have? She says, four, not three. Why? Because she said, the biggest baby is my husband. He's the fourth baby. All right, so you become that baby. Now, from the baby is born, meaning from the moment you met Juliet for the first time in Fairfield, Nita City, Till the very big day, the wedding day, it should be not more than two years. Not seven years, not five years, not ten years, not more than two. Once it passes two years, all hell breaks loose. You know why?

33:30 Because after two years, if you're not married, you already got used to each other. But the problem, you got used to each other, but the matter is not settled. You are still hanging into thin air. You're neither in the air nor on the ground. You are just hanging in there. When will we get married and settle the matter?

33:53 The case must be closed. Please, honey, stop listening to your mom and dragging it on and on and on. I don't like my future mother-in-law. If you're going to say that before getting married, good luck after getting married. She will be a super glue sticking there in your life. So what do you need to do? After two years, you will ask for trouble because you've got so much used to each other, yet the matter is not finalized.

34:27 You need to put a closure to it So everybody is at rest and everybody is at peace. Amen. So if you have issues later on, you can talk to me. But you'll need to bring me a KitKat after 30th of August because now we're fasting for the Holy Mother. So after 30th of August, bring me a box of KitKat so I can have a break, you know, give me a break. All right. Come on, guys, relax, you know, please. No, it's not the end of the world. Now, That was the biological preparation. Biological preparation. Now we need to come to the biblical preparation. Are you ready now? If you thought the biological preparation was difficult, wait till you get to the biblical preparation, my beloveds. In the biblical preparation

35:15 for this great mystery, the divine love where Christ and the church, which is us, the baptized souls, become one, that great mystery, biblically speaking, St. Paul writes about this in 1 Corinthians 11, 29-31. He says, For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner, eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. For this reason, many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep.

35:46 For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. 1 Corinthians 11, 29-31, St. Paul is talking about the Holy Eucharist. He's talking about the Holy Eucharist. For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner. Eat what? The body of Christ. Drink what? The blood of Christ. He's talking about the Holy Eucharist. So when you come, eat and drink in an unworthy manner, you are eating and drinking judgment to yourself. And for this reason, he says, St. Paul, he continues in verse 30. He says, for this reason, many are weak and sick and many sleep. Because we are eating the body of Christ and drinking the body of Christ in an unworthy manner. That's why we fall sick, we fall weak, and we fall to sleep. So St.

36:54 Paul is referring to the Holy Eucharist. You see in verse 29 where he says, Not discerning what we are eating, what we are drinking. We are eating the body of Christ, of our Lord. So it's not bread and wine. It's the true body and the true blood of Christ. When we do not discern this, we fall weak, we fall sick, and we fall to sleep. Now, sorry, I'll just go back to it. So we are not discerning the Lord's body, i.e.

37:32 the Holy Eucharist. Now, the Holy Eucharist is the body and the blood of Christ. Look at this. The body is the bride. Female. The blood is the groom. Male. And I will deliberately put the word female and male. Because we all know the bride is naturally female. But I put it there to make sure that it's a female. Yes?

37:58 Nobody else. Alright? Yes. So now, the body is the bride, which is the female. The blood is the groom, which is the male. Now please pay attention. It's going to get better now. The bride who is the female, since she is the body, she is prepared in Bethlehem. Now why in Bethlehem? Because Bethlehem, the word means house of bread.

38:34 And the Lord Jesus, where did he get his body from? He called the bread his true body. And that bread is made out of wheat. That bread, the word Bethlehem means the house of bread. The house of bread. Which from this bread, the Lord made his body. So, the female, the bride, is the body... i.e. she is prepared in Bethlehem because the word Bethlehem means the house of bread.

39:09 That's where the bread gets prepared, the body. Now why is the female the body? Why is she the body, the bride? You see, the female is the helper of the head. Since the female is the body, then the groom or the male is the head. So what is the role of the bride, the female who is the body? Her role is to help the head. The groom is to help the head. Now remember the word helper because in other sessions we will talk about What does that mean?

39:52 I'll give you a hint. She is a helper, not a leader. The female is the helper of the head who is the groom, the male. Now, let's come to the bride. Why did we say the bride, the female, is the body, is the bread? Why? Because Psalm 104.15, King David in Psalm 104.15 says, And bread which strengthens man's heart. And then in Genesis 2.18, look at the Lord God, what he says about the women. He says, and the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper, comparable to him. God created the women to be the helper of the men. What is the helper? The sustainer, the supporter, the one who strengthens the men. The bread, strengthens man's heart. How is the heart of man strengthened?

40:55 By his women. Because God creator had to be his strengthener, his helper, his sustainer. The man without the women cannot make it. Cannot. The man without the women cannot make it. No matter how strong, how smart, how intelligent, how what, forget it. He needs the woman in his life. Now, are you with me so far? Very good. My daughter, the beautiful bride, you are the helper. You're the body, you're not the head to lead. It's the head that leads.

41:45 The body follows. The body supports and sustains. This is God's creation. Don't argue. Don't fight. Don't try to change. Because what God created, no one can change. And when some try to change, what happened to that society is destroyed forever. Destroyed. Because this is God's work. He can't touch it. So my daughter, even if you try to change yourself from the body and to become the head, you will fail miserably because you're going against God's will. Please.

42:29 What I'm saying here is extremely foundational to a successful marriage. Prosperous, happy, healthy marriage. Very, very important. Now let's move on. Now we come to the group. To the male. To the man. My man brother. What's up Georgie? My man. Alright. The groom. The male. Is prepared in the wine press. Since the female is the body. Then the male. The groom. Is the wine. Is the blood. She is the bread. Prepared in Bethlehem. To be the body. And the man is the wine. To be prepared in the wine press. To be crushed. In the wine press. You know the good old wine presses. In the old and primitive days. They would build this like a pond. And then they would put all those clusters, all those grapes in that pond

43:32 that would have openings, a few openings here and there. And then men would go inside with their bare feet, crush those grapes. And then the juice would come out, collect it, and then becomes fermented and then turns into wine after a little while. But the wine press is where the grapes are crushed to bring the wine which Christ used to make his blood out. Both bread and wine represent self denial. Both bread and wine represent self denial.

44:04 Where do you get the bread from? Wheat. What did the Lord Jesus say about the grain of wheat? He said, unless the grain of wheat falls into the ground and is buried, it will not bring forth fruits. It has to be buried. So what happens to the bread must be buried in order for the bread to come along. For the wheat to grow and give more wheat and out of it bread. And from the bread body, that grain of wheat has to be buried underground. Death, it has to die. And death, biblically speaking, is called self-denial.

44:39 And what happens to the man, the groom? He is the wine. He gets pressed in the wine press. He gets crushed in the wine press. When you crush him there, it is also a form of death. Self-denial. Both husband and wife must die to themselves. Both of them. So both bread and wine represent self-denial, meaning successful, prosperous relationship is when both deny themselves for each other. In other words, the groom lives for the bride and the bride lives for the groom. This is self-denial. When you stand on that big wedding day and you say to each other before God and the priest, yes I do. From that moment you are dead to yourself son and you are dead to yourself daughter. You will no longer from that

45:36 moment onwards. I pray a very long and happy, prosperous life together. But from that moment onward, daughter, you are no longer living for yourself. You're living for your husband. And my son, you are no longer living for yourself. You are living for your wife. When the two live for each other, no one can touch that home. No one.

46:01 No one can touch it. No matter what happens. You know why no one can touch it? Because when you live for each other, Christ is your foundation. And when Christ is your foundation, the psalmist says, when God is with me, who can be against me? When we build our life, our marital life on God, no one can separate that marital life when God is holding it in the palm of His hand. Now why is the groom, the male, The wine. Why is he the wine? Have you ever thought why Christ gave his blood as wine? Well, the wine symbolizes happiness. What does bread symbolize? Supporting the man's heart. What does the wine symbolize? Making the man's heart happy, glad. Look at the sound. 104, 15 again.

47:03 And wine that makes glad the heart of man. So the wine symbolizes happiness and the bread symbolizes support, sustainability, help, strength. My son, you want to be happy? Make your wife happy. You want to live happily ever after, thereafter? Make your wife happy. As they say, happy wife, happy life. You know what a woman is like? My daughters, don't get me wrong. This is a precious gift from God to all my beautiful girls. A woman is like that incubator.

47:56 The woman cannot give first. She must receive first in order to give. This is God's way of creation. The woman cannot give first. She must, and please pay attention to the word must. She must receive first in order to give back. It is the role of the man that has to give. The man must initiate the process of giving in order for him to expect a return of receiving from the incubator. Now put it this way.

48:31 The woman receives however she is designed by God not to give you back the same way you gave her. She multiplies it and give it back. So when you say a nice word to her, she'll give you heaven. And when you say a nasty word to her, she will give you hell. Don't break the glass. Don't break the doors. Don't break that gibbrock walls because your wife gave you hell. Think inside of you. Sit down and think thoroughly and deeply. Why did she give me hell? Oh, I told her off. Without paying enough attention. You see the women. Everything is under the microscope with her. The man.

49:20 is dumb so when the man says it so naively and so sort of simply and dumbfully He says, honey, you put on weight. You will never see heaven for the rest of your life. After 450 years, you have an argument. She will remind you of that day, of that hour, of that minute, of that second. How dare you say I am fat? The husband says, what? I don't know. Did I? I never said that. Yes, you did.

50:22 Rewind the tape. Let's play the video. In other words, my son, do not argue with her. Just give in to have a peaceful night. Sleep, sleep. And both eyes closed. Otherwise you'll need to have one or two open while you're sleeping. The wine symbolizes happiness. Psalm 104.15 King David says. Now let me continue. Blood. Why is the male, the groom, representing the wine? Why? Why? which is the blood of Christ.

51:11 My beloved, blood is the source of life for the body. What makes this body tick and lives is the blood. The moment the blood goes, that is the source of the life to this body. So the source of life to the body is the blood. Why? Now, the head is the source of life for the body as well. What did we say? This great mystery is Christ and the church. What is the church to Christ? The body.

51:42 And what is Christ to the church? The head. So now the head is also the source of life to the body. Why? Because this body receives oxygen from the head, not from the body. It is the head that gives life to the body. And what gives life to the body? Blood. So now, I ask you this. The bride is the body and Christ is the head. Blood is hidden, invisible.

52:16 But the body is seen, is visible. What am I trying to get to? To this. Therefore, the head is supposed to be hidden, invisible. Not visible. See, when St. Paul says that Christ is the head of the church, he is saying that this head is not on the top. The head is at the bottom. What did he say the blood is? Hidden, isn't it? But the blood is the source of life. for this body, so as the head is the source of life for this body. We breathe from our nostrils, which is at the head. It's not in the hands. So the head gives life to the body. Blood gives life to the body. That blood is hidden. Therefore, the head has to be hidden as well, not visible. You see, when we hear as men that the man is the head of the woman, we say,

53:26 you see, the Holy Bible says the man is the head of the woman. So you be quiet. I'm the head, okay? Whatever I say goes, it is my way or you hit the highway, my darling. No, you are not the head in the sense of being a dictator, of being somebody ruling, suffocating the body. No, you are the head, meaning you need to be hidden. Now, when it comes to a house, what is hidden in the house? Who can tell me? What is the hidden part of the house? Foundation.

54:02 Thank you very much. So the foundation is hidden. You see the walls, you see the windows, you see the doors, you see the roof, you go inside, you see all the lights, the furniture, everything. But do you see the foundation? No. Do you ever say, what a beautiful foundation? You always say, what a beautiful house. Oh, honey, honey, you have to buy me this. I don't care. Get off Centrelink and start working. You have to buy this house for me, honey.

54:29 That's it. I loved the kitchen. I fell in love with the kitchen and the bathroom. The house is mine. I don't care. Sell whoever you want to sell, but buy me the house. The foundation is carrying the entire house. But we never say it's a beautiful foundation. We always say it's a beautiful house. But this beautiful, magnificent, breathtaking house would have never existed without the foundation. So what is really beautiful? The foundation that made the house beautiful.

55:06 Christ the head of the church, meaning he is the foundation hidden and the foundation carries the entire weight of the house. In other words, my son, you need to be the foundation to your wife, meaning you need to carry her with all of her. Tough luck. She loves you one day, hates you the next. Tough luck. You are the foundation carrying the entire weight. You need to carry her in good times and in bad times. You need to carry her when she loves you and when she cannot stand you anymore. You are the foundation. And guess what? The foundation is stuck to the house. You can't just remove yourself from beneath the house. The entire house will collapse. The wife without you will collapse. But in you, she is safe. She finds her safety net.

56:12 She finds her security. She finds herself because she knows this is my man. One, two, yeah. This is my man. This is my backbone. This is my support. My son, you must make sure that your wife is comfortable with you. Don't ever, don't ever, when she comes whinging, complaining to you, shut her up. Don't you ever do that. You do that once, you do that twice, 10 times, 20 times, she will go elsewhere and open up. And that's the most dangerous part when she goes elsewhere and opens up and talks to other people other than her own beloved husband who is the head to that body called the wife.

57:10 You are the only ones that are one. Inseparable. Mom, dad, totally separate. Son, don't ever run to mom and dad. Daughter, don't ever go to your mom especially and whinge about your husband. She will hate him forever. Don't ever. We have other sessions. I don't want to go too much into it. The head is the foundation of the visible body.

57:42 And who is the body? The bride. The woman, the female is the body. The head is the foundation, invisible. So the man has to be invisible in order for the wife to be visible. When you are hidden, what does that mean? You've sacrificed your life. So when the man sacrifices his life for his woman, the woman is standing strong. The house is built. But if the man does not sacrifice, there is no house. The body cannot stand without a foundation. You realize how important you are, my son, to this marriage? You are the foundation of this marriage. that carries the weight of the entire building, which is the body, which is your wife. Look at this, so profound. The house turns into a home through love and respect. Until the house is a home, we have

58:57 failed as a couple. But when the house turns into a home, then that couple have succeeded in their marital life. So how does this house... turn into a home? It is only done and made possible through love and respect. Now, please pay attention. The groom, who is the blood, shed his blood for the sake of his bride, the body.

59:26 Because why did he shed his blood? For his bride which is the body. Because he loves her. Who shed his blood for his beloved bride? Christ. He shed his blood on Calvary on the cross. Why did he shed this blood? He shed it for one reason. Because he found a girl that he wanted to marry called the church.

59:52 That church was betrothed to the heavenly groom. And that heavenly groom came and he said, I love you so much. I have chosen you freely, willingly. And I have chosen you based on love. I love you beyond measures. And I'm going to prove my love for you. I will die for you, my beloved bride. I will shed my blood.

1:00:17 This is why the groom, the male, is the wine, the blood. Because unless the man sacrifices his life for his bride, there is no unity. There is no unity. There is no oneness. There is no the two becoming one. The man must sacrifice, shed his blood for his beloved bride. When the bride respects this love, the house is now a home. Same applies to the holy matrimony. Christ loves the church, his bride. He died for her, shed his blood on the cross on Calvary. Now what is he expecting from the church? Respect. Respect. Same applies to the holy matrimony. The groom who is the blood must sacrifice his life for his bride, which is the body. The groom must love his bride. The bride must respect her groom.

1:01:33 Please pay attention. When God said, what God has joined together, let no man separate. The two are now one, no longer two, but they are one. When God said the two are one, God is not meaning that the two are now equal in everything. No. The man and the woman, the husband and the wife are only equal in love and respect. In everything else, they are not equal. Otherwise, the whole world will collapse. Meaning, my daughter, you can never deal with your husband as if there is another man talking to him. You cannot do that. And my son, you want your wife to be good to you? You have to love her. You see, love is initiated by the man, by the groom. Not the woman, not the bride.

1:02:38 The man has to love the woman. It is Christ who loved the church. The church could not have known how to love him. It is he who chose him. It is he who came and became man like us. It is God who came from heaven to earth and became one of us to betroth us in that holy matrimonial bond where the two become one. And by the way, it is only in marriage that two become one. Otherwise, all of us are different to each other. That is why the man must leave his father and mother and be cleaved or joined to his wife. Why? It's not that he denies his parents. No. The Holy Bible is not saying that. The Holy Bible says honor your father and mother. But when the Holy Bible says the man must leave his father and mother and be joined to

1:03:29 his wife because the wife is his body and he is the head to this body. His mom and dad are not his body. They are separate entities. His brothers, sisters, cousins, friends are all separate. The only one who became one in you and with you is your partner in marriage. The man is the head and the woman is the body.

1:03:55 The body and the head came together, became one flesh. That's only found in marriage. That's why my son, You, as the man, as the groom, you must love your wife. Love comes from the man, not from the woman. What does the woman need to do in return? She must respect her man. The woman, my son, she cannot stand it when you do not give her all of your love.

1:04:36 She cannot stand it. She will not be upset about anything else. But she will never ever accept. And this is a non-negotiable area. Don't go there because you'll get hell from her. This is non-negotiable. If you do not give her all of your love. You will never have life. You'll never have life at all. She'll give you hell.

1:05:02 But the moment you love her. And she is your only princess. In other words, you're walking with your sweetheart in the city. And then another gazelle passes you by. You're holding your princess's hand, Juliet's hand. And another gazelle passes by and you say, yes, honey. But when he said, yes, honey, you were not looking at your honey. You looked at a foreign honey. She'll give you poison. Because she's watching every move. Where you look, which direction, what kind of an expression is on the face. Did you smile when you saw another girl? Or did you let go of my hand and you removed your ring? You said, hello, how are you? I'm not married now. What are you doing, son?

1:06:01 If you do not give all of that love to your princess and your princess only, don't expect to have a life. But my daughter, when your husband loves you, when he truly cares for you, when he truly sacrifices for you, when he truly shows that you are the only one in his life, if you do not respect that love, don't ever expect him to be your man.

1:06:28 You're pushing him away. He would not wish to come back home because he says, the only place where I should really be comfortable, I'm not finding my comfort there. Because the moment he walks through the front door, you have a shopping list waiting for him. Honey, you didn't even ask how I was. did you say, how was your day? Are you okay? I missed you. I love you.

1:07:03 I was waiting for this moment. I was looking at the watch every five seconds for five o'clock to come. So the door, the front door opens. So I'd run to you and welcome you to your home. And I say, your Juliet has been dying to say, I love you, honey. Give you a hug and a beautiful, holy kiss. And then I welcome you. I take the shoes from your feet.

1:07:26 And I say, sit down, honey. Let me prepare you a nice meal. Wow. Wow. What the woman needs is love. But what the man needs is respect, not love. This is God's creation again. One thing about the man, my daughter... He will accept anything. Only one thing, don't ever touch it. His own dignity. I'm the man. Don't ever make me feel as if I'm a woman. So when you address me, when you talk to me, talk to me with respect.

1:08:10 Don't treat me like you are a man and I'm a man. Because if you're going to be a man, I'll deal with you as a man. I don't want to do that because I'll hurt you. So you need to talk to the man with respect. But my son, you need to talk to your woman with love in order to expect respect. But my daughter, if you want the man to continue loving you, you better continue respecting him.

1:08:47 Don't ever talk like a man to your man. Talk like a woman. The man is very fragile. And he could go either way. very easily. One nice word from you, daughter, you make him like a king. One nasty word from you, daughter, you make him feel like a slave. A nice word makes him, a nasty word breaks him. The Lord Jesus loves the church, his bride, which is his body. And what is he expecting from the church? Respect. And I'll sum it up with this, my beloved. Let's go to Ephesians chapter 5 verse 32 where Saint Paul says, this is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Look at this, the groom, the male represents Christ.

1:09:49 That's why there is a physical marriage on earth because the physical marriage on earth is a representation of the spiritual marriage that cannot be seen with the naked eye. The spiritual true marriage is between Christ and the church. He is the man, Christ, and the church is the woman, the bride. This is the true marriage that will last forever.

1:10:13 But that's why God illustrated that marriage in that tangible realm, the physical realm. That's why he put marriage as the first institution made by God on earth. The first thing God instituted on earth was marriage, nothing else. The first thing ever was marriage. Adam, it's not good for you to be alone. I need to give you a helper.

1:10:37 Man and woman, male and female, the two together, they got married, multiply, increase, and fill the whole earth. Marriage is the first thing God ever instituted on earth. And what matters to God the most is marriage. Because out of marriage, the church came. Out of marriage, societies, cultures, races, all came. It is so sad nowadays. The race is still being held as sacred, but they are desacralizing marriage.

1:11:08 Yet marriage is the foundation to every race on the face of this earth. They are desacralizing marriage, but they're still keeping the race sacred. How wrongfully approached and done. The race wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for marriages. So the foundation to that sacred race is marriage. And marriage should be the first thing ever to be preserved and kept as sacred. It is male and female. Nothing else.

1:11:48 Did you hear me? Yes. Now, the groom represents my son. You represent Christ. As the man, look at this, John 13, 1. It is the Lord Jesus. Here in John 13, 1, the Lord realized his time is very short on earth. Knowing that his time is coming to an end on earth. Look what he says. Having loved his own. Who is his own? Who is his own? Christ's own is the church.

1:12:23 What is the church to Christ? The bride, the body. The body of Christ is. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. So whose role to love? The man. It is the man's role to love the bride. Christ loved his own, meaning the church. Now, what about the bride? My daughter, you represent the church. The female represents the church. The male represents Christ. Christ. Just like the man and the woman get together and produce children, so as Christ and the church became one, they produced children through the sacrament of baptism. Daughter, you're my daughter, all females here. You have a womb. So as the church, your spiritual mother, the spiritual woman, the spiritual mother also has a womb

1:13:24 called the baptismal font. That is the womb of the spiritual church, the mother called the baptismal font. When the woman got together with the man Christ in that holy matrimonial bond, out of the womb of the woman, the church came forth spiritual children just like their parents. Baptized souls are the spiritual children that were given birth to when the man and the woman got together. And just like that baby that comes out of that mother's womb, the mother automatically has food in her breast. You're my daughters.

1:14:04 Prior to that baby coming to this world, there is no food. Look how God amazingly works. The moment the baby is born, automatically the mother has food to give food to that newborn baby. Why? Because the baby cannot survive without being fed. So as the spiritual mother, the moment she gives birth to that spiritual child through the sacrament of holy baptism, there is the spiritual food that must be given immediately to that spiritual child called the body and the blood of Christ is the spiritual food for the nourishment of the spiritual child. It's not bread and wine. It's body and blood. It's the spiritual food.

1:14:58 The man loves the woman. The woman represents the church. And what is the role of the church towards Christ? John 14, 15. The Lord Jesus is saying to the church, to all of us. Look at this. John 14, 15. The Lord is saying, is talking to us, the church, his body. If you love me, then keep my commandments.

1:15:24 If you love me, then listen to what I say. Do what I say. When we love the Lord and we do what he says, what are we showing to the Lord? Respect. If I love someone and I don't listen to what they say, I am being disrespectful to them, even if I love them. You see, the love and the respect are two in one and one in two.

1:15:53 They are inseparable. Why? Because without love, there is no respect. And without respect, there is no love. You see, in order to be respected, I have to love you. But once I love you, I need you to show me that you truly love me back. How are you going to show me that you truly love me back? When you listen to what I say to you, when you are adhering to what I'm saying, you are respecting what I'm saying. So the role of Christ toward his bride, the church, is to love her. And the role of the church toward her groom, the heavenly groom, Christ, is to respect him. How are we going to respect him?

1:16:38 When we are obedient to every word, commandment he has said to us. When the church is in disrespect, what happens to the church? Divides. What is that separation in the body of Christ and the physical relationship? Divorce. Why did this couple divorce? Because there was neither love nor respect between the two. The husband is no longer loving the woman and the woman is no longer respecting the husband.

1:17:20 There is no marital life. My son, You build the house for your woman. You give her a house. In return, she gives you a home. And the house, unless it becomes a home, it's a useless building. No one will ever live there. Now, when you build that house for your wife, that was an act of love. You did it out of love because she wanted a house so much.

1:18:04 You said, because I love you, of course I'll give you a house. It's not the house that matters. It is my love for you that made the house possible. So you as a man, you can build a house. That's all you can do. But you, my daughter, as the woman, as the bride, what you do when your man gives you that house, when you show respect to your man, you turn the house into home. A home is a place where I belong as a man. A home is a place where I feel loved and wanted.

1:18:47 So I look forward to going home. when the woman is respecting me. But I never look forward to going home when the woman is not happy and being disrespectful. But my son, remember, you want her to respect you, you better love her and love her only. No one else. Nowhere else. So you need to work that relationship together between the two of you. My son, before you getting married, you had friends. After getting married, you can't expect to have the same relationship with your friends. You used to go out with them every day. You can't be now a married man and expect to go out every day with your friends because your wife will not be happy. Now, why?

1:19:38 Because now you are not showing love or enough love for her. You are putting friends before her. Therefore, that is telling her automatically that your love for your friends is more than your love for your own wife. Therefore, don't expect me to respect you next time you open your mouth. But when you come and say, honey, Before I married you, these friends are like my brothers. I love them so much. The bond is strong. But you know what, honey? Now that I've married you, I have responsibility towards you. Therefore, next time if I want to do anything, I'll have to ask you, not tell you.

1:20:18 Ask you, not tell you. Oh, listen, honey, I'm going. Bye. No, you have to ask. Say, honey, is it okay if I go out with my friends? I promise you, I'm going with so-and-so and so-and-so and so-and-so. I'll be back home by this hour. And if anything happens, I'll let you know. I'll update you. And honey, while I'm out, if you feel like calling me or if something happens, please do, anytime. And if you want me to open the video, I will. Can you turn that camera around, honey?

1:20:59 Are you in the church or in Marconi Club? Which one? Are you with John or Jennifer? I'll tell you this joke and I'll sum it up. This husband, he fell at work and broke his leg. So he called home from hospital. He said, hi honey, I'm calling just to let you know I fell at work. And I broke my leg and Jennifer took me to the hospital. The wife said, who is Jennifer? Did you get it? He said, I broke my leg. She did not care about his leg.

1:21:46 She wanted to know who Jennifer was that dared to take her Romeo to the hospital. So honey, I broke my leg. Don't ever say Jennifer took me. You better say John took me. Otherwise, you're not coming back home. I pray that your neck breaks as well, not just your leg. For allowing Jennifer to take you. So who's Jennifer?

1:22:14 This four-year-old boy went to his mom. He said, mom, what is an angel? She said, my son, angel is a spiritual being, illuminative, and it flies. He said, but mom, I heard my dad the other day saying to his secretary, You are my angel. But she doesn't fly. She said, my son, rest assured, she will fly today. Honey, I just sacked your secretary. There has to be the love and respect between the husband and the wife. The husband has to love his wife and the wife must respect her husband. Remember, for other times when we talk about relationships, you are the helper, my daughter. God created you to be the helper. Don't ever try to be someone else or something else. Your role is the helper. That's it.

1:23:19 You are the body. Don't ever try to be the head. So many issues happen at home for trivial things. Like nonsensical. The woman will come and says to her husband, you work, I work. There is no difference between you and me. What do you mean there is no difference? Yes, there is. The man can't carry babies. You can. Of course there is a difference. The woman can't be the man. The man can't be the woman. In duties and obligations, you are totally different. If we do not know our roles and obligations, we will ruin that marital life. I need to know what my limitations, my duties are and my boundaries.

1:24:02 You are the body daughter. You can't be the head. You cannot lead. My son, you are the head. If the head fails, the body suffers. When the man's role is absent, the woman takes up on the man and the woman role. That woman... collapses after a little while. She can't. It's not in her to be the leader.

1:24:28 God did not put in the woman to be the leader. He put it in the man. But when the man fails, marriage fails. The man is the foundation. By the way, the head. It is the head's role to think, to protect, to give life, Provide. And it is the body's role to react to this provision and honor that provision. Respect that provision. The body is to help the head. Not to dictate. But to follow the head. You are a follower, daughter.

1:25:12 You're not a leader. So son, you better lead. So if you say, I'm going to stay at home and honey, you go to work. You're not the head now. You need to be the man. I need to be up to it, my son. And I'll leave you with this 100%. This is why when God created the man Adam, before creating Eve out of him to make her the helper of Adam, Adam was alone. What did God say to Adam?

1:25:51 The first thing he said, I want you to cultivate this garden. Cultivate means I want you to work. So God expects the man to work, to provide because he is the head. He is the provider. If the man does not work, does not sacrifice, does not provide, there is no marriage. So before the woman showed up at all, God expected Adam to work. He put Adam in his presence and then he said, you remain in my presence and you better start working. Because if you cannot work, how can you sustain a family? I can't give you a wife unless you are working. You can't be a bludger.

1:26:47 And expect to be a successful husband. You have to work and provide. My son. Amen. So now that was just about. The great mystery. God willing next time. Well next Friday by the way. Please do come. Because it will be about the Holy Mother. Because next Friday is. Last Friday before. The fasting. You know. The feast of the Holy Mother. So. So please do come because next Friday we'll be talking about our sweetheart, our mom, our holy mom. So and then God willing after that we'll start talking about relationships more in depth. This was just give you an idea. All these lessons, that's five weeks.

1:27:38 It's just to give you an idea like how we are made and how we come about and then we end up being a man and a woman and then a husband and then a father and then a wife and then a mother. It doesn't just happen overnight. We need to understand our responsibilities, our duties, our obligations towards God first and foremost and then towards one another. We have to, my beloved. Amen. So next time we'll go more in details about relationships. And I pray, I pray that By the grace of the Lord, we learn something.

1:28:14 And even if we are married now, I pray that what we learn is maybe we can adjust a few things that we were not aware of. We thought it was okay. But it's never too late to fix things, to make it better and better and better. So honey, daughter, somebody comes and says, oh, I really like you and you're so beautiful. I've never seen anyone like you, this beautiful image. in the entire world. Ask him, have you seen Fairfield, Nita City? If you haven't seen Fairfield, Nita City, when did you get a chance to see the whole world?

1:28:47 You're a liar. Walk away from that guy. All right, let us stand now for the finale prayer. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, one God. Amen. Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Whether it's hatred, let me so love. Whether it's injury, pardon. Whether it's doubt, faith. Whether it's despair, hope.

1:29:08 Whether it's darkness, light. Whether it's sadness, joy. O divine master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console. To be understood as to understand. to be loved as to love, for it is in giving that we receive. It is in pardoning that we are pardoned. It is in dying that we are born again to eternal life. Amen. May the Lord Jesus bless you, guard you, and protect you all the days of your life, now and forevermore. Amen. Go in peace. The peace of Christ be with you always, my beloved. God bless. Thank you.