How to Deal With Wild Toddler Behaviour

0:00 They're unpredictable, they're all different. Some of them are super easy and calm, others are really wild, and they're gonna push you, they're gonna be more challenging for sure.

0:08 My two-year-old hits everyone, children at the park included, throws objects, and nothing seems to stop him.

0:13 But it's not your fault that he does this, but it is your responsibility to train him out of it.

0:16 A really helpful uncle thought it would be funny to teach my sweet, gentle 23-month-old to snatch things and yell mine. Now I've got a little mind monster, and I have no idea how to reverse the course that she's been taught.

0:29 Welcome to the Bratbusters Parenting Podcast. My name's Lisa Bunnage. I'm a parenting coach. I'm a mom, I'm also a grandmother.

0:35 And I'm Amy Bunnage, Lisa's daughter, and I handle the marketing and planning here at Bratbusters. While I don't have kids, each episode we'll dive into parenting topics and Lisa will answer your questions. Let's get started.

0:47 Okay, sweetie. What is today's podcast topic? Today we are discussing wild toddler behavior. Wild toddler behavior. Oh, you mean toddlers can be wild?

0:57 Shocking. Shocking. Who told you? Who told you that? Uh, just a lot of the internet. Oh, okay. Well, I I don't know if I can get through this. Yeah. I mean, we could do a little discussion on toddler behavior first, or do you want to get right into the parenting questions and kind of flesh it out there?

1:14 No, I think we should go to the parenting questions because I think a little stuff will come up. Because I've got nothing general to say about that right now. Can we I'll tell you why? Because it's not something you can prevent or even stop sometimes. Like they're just gonna do stuff. Toddlers are unpredictable, they're kind of wild sometimes, and that's part of the fun.

1:30 They discover their body, they discover their vocal cords. Wow, it's very exciting.

1:36 I bet it would be in their perspective, because especially it's like they're able to move around now. And just to clarify, you consider a toddler to be 16 to 35 months, so that's kind of the age we're talking about.

1:47 And I don't know if that's the right way to do it. I've just always broken it down that way. Yeah, toddler to me is 16 to 35 months. Whether that's correct or not, I don't know.

1:54 Okay, let's just get right into the questions then. The first one here is Amy from the United States. My kids are two and a half and 11 months. My toddler is a runner, hitter, and tantrumer. I have a lot of success using your method to improve all these behaviors, but recently my toddler's screaming at his baby brother instead of hitting, like he used to try to do.

2:12 If his baby brother gets near his toys or even looks like he's looking at his toys, the toddler screams, mine, really loud, and it scares the brother. How do I address this? I keep going back and forth between taking a toy away away or saying whatever. Sometimes I also sit and show him how we can all play together.

2:28 Sometimes I also go play out of reach with the baby if he wants to play by himself. I know I need to be consistent, but I'm struggling to find which method is most effective.

2:37 It's really funny because everything that you just said is exactly what I recommend. So I don't know. No, I would say sort of stick to one method. I would also minimize the toys and I would make it very clear if you want to play with play-doh or if you want to play with dupla or whatever he wants, he generally, there's usually one thing, not always, there's usually like a one or two things that they really don't want to be interrupted.

2:58 And it's often stuff that they're building. So stuff that can be ruined. So think about it that way. Anything that can be ruined by an 11-month-old, you know, like a Lego tower that he just built or something like that. He's only two and a half, he might not be into Lego yet, but you get the idea. Something that he's built, then that's the kind of thing you might say.

3:16 Look, when you're doing this, you go on in the other room, we'll put the baby gate up so your little bit the 11-month-old can't get to it. So yeah, I would do it that way. Just manage the toys better. Manage the what he's actually doing. Now, if he does take something away from the little brother, and also say, if it's out here, it's everybody's, okay?

3:33 But watch the toddler, the baby too. And you distract the baby. You don't use discipline with a baby that's 11 month-olds. Uh, so you just say no and you pay if the baby does grab something, you say no and you give it back to the toddler. You do this consistently. Um, you know, it's kind of like a week of full-on doing this.

3:51 It's it's something that you want to teach in like one week. You don't every so often get really good at this and say, okay, I had a really good day. You want to dedicate seven days to this if you can. And it's just seven days that you're around. If you're out somewhere, don't worry about it, or if they in daycare, don't worry about it.

4:07 But yeah, when you're around, just dedicate a full week to this and see how it goes. So you manage the stuff that's built, have him do it somewhere he doesn't want to be interrupted, or whatever other toys he doesn't want to share that maybe can just belong to him. Feel like I'm going on forever. Am I repeating myself?

4:21 I mean, it feels like you're going thorough.

4:23 Okay, I'm going too thorough. Anyway, so yeah, just follow that. Get the toy rotation system going too. But yeah, uh, have an area where he just can not interrupted. By the way, they don't usually like that. They usually get, and it's usually somewhere away from you, okay? And purposely do it that way.

4:39 Have it, he can go play with something, let's say in the dining room table where you're not necessarily there. You might be in the family room. So in order, it's a payoff. He'll learn that if he wants to be around you, which he does, then he has to learn how to share. But also don't allow the baby to take everything off him all the time.

4:53 Just say no and then distract and give the baby something else.

4:56 But I can imagine, especially the the mind phase and the screening, it sounds like a lot of toddlers do go through this.

5:02 They do, and they will because like it's very powerful. Imagine if you just discover your voice. I can make the screeching sound. And I don't know why. I have no idea why. It doesn't seem to bother them. I can't imagine how it couldn't. But I'm an adult. So yeah, they tend to just screech and then they smile after they do it often.

5:20 Like it's like that was cool. So yeah, just ignore that kind of stuff. Or if he's just grabbed something and then screeches, then be very quick to dive in. But yeah, the screech, you can just go, ooh, that's not very good. And then you can literally get up and walk away and take the baby with you. So that there's kind of a direct reaction right away every time, but it's a ooh, and then walk away.

5:38 It's a negative reaction to it. But yeah, that's that's a trickier one.

5:41 Okay, the next one's Louisa from the United States. My two-year-old hits everyone, children at the park included, throws objects and nothing seems to stop him. I've tried to take him away multiple times in a row, and he goes right back and throws and hits even more. When he hits me, I leave and he follows me angrily to hit me more.

5:57 What can I do to rectify this behavior?

5:59 Okay, that's the hitter. Um, and that's one of those four things they're either born to do or they're never gonna do. One is hitting or aggressive behavior. One is running, one is climbing, and the other one is tantrums. It's something in their DNA. They're just born to do this. So it's not your fault that he does this, but it is your responsibility to train him out of it.

6:14 Do what you're doing, and you could every time he hits, you say no, and then you prevent future hits. This is a the step that a lot of parents don't do. So that he hits you and then you say no and you push him away. Then he hits you again, you say no and push him away. What you do is you don't let him get the subsequent hits in.

6:30 The first one you can't always see coming. At the park, watch him like a hawk. You do not want him hitting other kids. And when he goes to hit, treat it like a hit. Say no and then pull him away for a minute or so while he's tantruming. Okay, that's okay. When he calms down, put him back in the mix. Do not let him go get a subsequent hit in.

6:48 You have to be on top of this, okay? A lot of parents say, Well, I can't watch him all the time. Yeah, dedicate a full week or two or three weeks to this hitting, okay, because that's what it's gonna take. So you want to dedicate at least a week to really fixing this, and they will learn. They can stay and play with the other kids if they don't hit.

7:06 He will learn eventually. He's two. He can learn this, but it's it's not easy.

7:10 Okay, the next one, Cheyenne from Canada. I understand consistent corrective action for toddlers, but how do I specifically handle this in relation to food throwing? My boy's a little over two years old, and if I say no before he's about to throw food on the floor, he looks at me and throws it, and he doesn't get something that he wants at the dinner table, and he throws his whole plate off the table in frustration.

7:30 Do I say no and no more food and end mealtime even if he's eaten nothing? I understand he won't starve if one meal's skipped, but it feels wrong to not let him eat.

7:38 I hate these questions around food because they gotta eat, right? The what you did wrong though, right at the very start, was he went to throw food and you said no. He hasn't done anything yet. You can't say no to what they might do. You just can't. Um, unless it's a hit when they're going in and they're already in the action.

7:54 So if he's going to throw food, he's already in the action. Okay. So you can say no and then you instantly take, you don't say no and then hope he stops. You say no and you run over and take action. What you do is you take the food away from him, you say no, take it away, and then you hand feed him. Okay, you take the spoon or the fork and you put his food on the spoon of this board and you hand feed him.

8:16 That's how you deal with that. So you say no, and then he gets hand fed. You got to keep doing this repetition, repetition, repetition. He should eventually eat. If he's not eating, you got to let him throw food, do whatever he's got to do. I hate saying this, but he's got to eat, right? I'm covering my my my backside here with this.

8:33 Do you get where I'm going with this? You want to keep going, but if the kid's gonna really have some health problems because he's not eating, you got to let him do whatever he's gonna do, just so he'll get some healthy food into him. But basically, my gut react, my my basic information is just say no and then hand feed him.

8:49 Hand feed him. They don't usually want that. They want the control, right? So yeah, if he's in this the pre-action of going to throw food, treat it like a throwing food. You just say nope and then take action. You don't just say no and hope he stops. You don't, because now it's just it's so weak. You say no and take action as if he's already thrown it.

9:07 And of course, not a medical professional, not a doctor, especially with the idea of like choking hazards. You're not putting like you're letting it.

9:15 No, well, we're trying to cover our our nuts here. Okay, so we just are like it's a it's a food issue. He's gotta eat. You're not forcing him to eat, okay? You just offer it. If he doesn't need it, he doesn't need it. But you know, like I said, if it goes too far, you're just gonna have to let him throw food, I guess.

9:31 I don't like talking like that, but yeah, I'm just covering my nuts here. But yeah, obviously he's gotta eat. If you if you're really worried, take him to a doctor, see if there's something else going on. Also, and this is another thing that comes up all the time in coaching, and parents know I hate talking about food, but it has to come up because you know they paid me for information.

9:50 So if they uh don't eat, parents will often give in and give them junk food because they feel like, well, at least they're getting something in their stomach. I'm not a nutritionist or a doctor, I can't comment on that, but I will tell you a story. Years and years ago, um uh there was a neighbor that I think I don't know if they're alive, any of them, at this point, so I'll say it.

10:08 And they're probably not listening anyway. But there was a neighbor, and she had a little girl who would only eat, I think it was cheesies. It was the soft ones, not the hard Cheetos. I don't remember what it was. She would only eat these cheesies, whatever they were. And the mom was, and she was two or three, and the mom was desperate for her to eat something.

10:28 This kid would not eat all day. She was a cutest little thing, she was a really sweet little girl. I used to babysit her, actually. She was darling. But the m she had her mom figured out. She knew that if she held out and didn't eat all day, the mom would always get her cheesies. Well, the mom didn't have a car.

10:40 My mom did. She said to my mom, Lil, would you do me a huge favor and go to the store and get some cheesies? Because that's all she'll eat and she hasn't eaten all day. So mom did it because she was a nice person. She did it. Anyway, this poor kid's teeth all fell out because all she was doing was living on cheesies.

10:58 So yeah, uh, and that's just a story I'm telling you. Uh, it's just a maybe a little lesson in there. I I don't know if it's a good idea to give them junk food because I'm not a nutritionist, but yeah, that was a story that we used to tell that story a lot. It was funny. But yeah, healthy food is the better option, I would assume.

11:22 Um, you know, not being a professional with any of this. But yeah, I would no way my kids would be getting cheesies just because they didn't want to eat healthy food. You gotta you gotta search out. Plus, search stuff that, like I fit both my kids were on the fussier side. One of them was more fussy than the other.

11:37 I was very good at cooking around what they liked. But I was, I'm I gotta hate cooking, but I made everything from scratch. We had no junk food. My kids didn't even know there was an option to have junk food. They had no clue it was healthy food or nothing. So, because they grew up with that. But I was really good.

11:52 And I don't believe in force feeding kids things that they really hate, but I would make cheese sauce. They love cheese sauce. Do you have any idea how much healthy stuff I would hide in all my home made from scratch food? Like I was really good at hiding healthy stuff. I would puree vegetables and put it in the pizza crust, it was in the bread.

12:09 So yeah, I was really good at hiding healthy stuff and I cooked around their taste buds. But I never really made food the issue either. We talked a lot during meals. I always sat with them when they ate and we chatted. So food, there was never never pressure to eat all this stuff, but they were pretty good eaters because I did cook around their taste buds, and food was never the focus.

12:28 It was more just the fun and the chatting around mealtimes. And I found with a lot of clients that evidently helps is make fun, make chatting, make the connection. You sitting with them, make that the focus, not the food.

12:40 Okay. Boy, that was a lecture. I'm I'm sweating, I'm literally sweating. Anyway. Okay, the next one is Halima from the United Kingdom. I have a 32-month-old boy who's an amazing child. I've been following your advice for a while, so I understand that I should ignore tantrums. However, the problem is that I'm having whenever I'm on my phone.

12:56 He starts making a mess or doing anything he can to get my attention. He's not normally like this. It only happens when I'm on the phone, not sure what to do.

13:04 Okay, he's 32 months, so it's only when you're on the phone. He's your first priority, not the phone call. So you're gonna have to say to someone on the line, hold on a minute, and then you're gonna have to go over really quickly, follow through with a with a um consistent corrective action. You've got to interrupt the phone call to do this because he's thinking he realizes when you're on the phone, you don't do it.

13:22 That's why. He realizes he's in charge when you're on the phone. You're just gonna have to interrupt the call. Consistent corrective action is very quick, it doesn't take a long time. If he's a runner, look like you're not even looking at him and then sort of backwards walk toward him and then surprise him with consistent corrective action rather than having to chase him around with a phone in your hand.

13:40 So yeah, you're gonna have to follow through. Just say, oh, hold on a minute. Consistent corrective action. If he starts screaming, say, oh, okay, I'm gonna go in another room. Sorry, but you can and you can literally go in another room. I always say you stay in the same room when they're tantruming.

13:53 He's 32 months, he knows what he's doing. You can go into the bathroom, shut the door, and then finish the call in there with him kicking and screaming on the other side of the door. That goes against what I normally say, stay near them, but at his age, he knows what he's doing. He knows you're gonna finish that.

14:06 He knows that you should be able that you can finish that call. Get him used to that. That in other words, this is never gonna work. But yeah, you're a different mom when you're on the phone. That's why he's a different kid. You gotta be the same mom all the time.

14:19 Okay, the next one's Tammy from the United States. 17-month-old son has been biting when frustrated. We calmly say no bite and then remove the child, remove him from the child. But he doesn't get upset. He'll laugh and redirect his bite to me or a teacher. This has been going on for months and I don't know what to do.

14:35 Okay, he's getting subsequent bites in. Um, I would turn him around so he can't keep biting. You're allowing the action to continue. That's why he keeps doing it. That that's what that says to me. He would just move on to something else. And you can you can use redirection with this one because he is on the cusp.

14:48 He's like 17 months old. He's coming out of babyhood, sort of still. So you can still use redirection. So especially if you're out somewhere. But if the if you're not with him, this you can't do this. But I would just say no and then turn him around from where he was biting so he can't get subsequent bites in.

15:03 Say no, pick him up, maybe take him somewhere else. You might try and read a book, but you got to watch him. If his head's going to bite again, stop it. Don't you don't allow subsequent bites. That's why they continue. If they if you don't let them get past that, like get past one bite, if you just stop the subsequent bites, they say they tend to stop biting.

15:22 They just do because it ain't working. Even at that young age, they learn how to stop biting because they can't keep doing it.

15:29 No more fun.

15:30 Yeah, no more fun. That's over. Oh well, I'll try something else now.

15:33 Okay, time to smear hoop on the wall.

15:36 Well, and a lot of parents say, why would they do that? And I'm like, I don't know.

15:40 It's fun, it's there.

15:41 Yeah, it's fun. They don't care. Yeah, that's I don't have no idea why they do that. Couldn't figure that one out for the life of me.

15:47 Okay, the next one's Elizabeth from the United States. When a 19-month-old will throw a tantrum, we do our best to ignore and act like we aren't bothered, and he will escalate with throwing toys, knocking stuff over, which I calmly just get up and say no and put away. This goes on for about 10 to 20 minutes.

16:01 I don't know if I'm doing something wrong with ignoring the tantrum.

16:04 Yeah, you do ignore the tantrum, but you don't ignore the aggression. So even though you do ignore, but you physically restrain them if they're hurting themselves, hurting someone else, or damaging property. You just physically restrain them for maybe a minute, maybe 30 seconds, then let go. If they go back to hitting, grab them again.

16:20 And you never face them toward you, you face them away from you. Okay, that's part of the ignoring. You don't want them to see your face. You want that to turn them around. And you hold them usually from the upper arms, um, high up. Don't hurt them, obviously. Hold them up and hold them away from you so they can't see you.

16:36 And then just hold, don't say anything though. Just if they start to get violent, just say nope and then hold them, maybe 30 seconds, let go, but you don't look at him or talk to him. If he starts getting aggressive again, you say nope, do it again. Keep doing it over and over and over again. You can hold them for maybe 30 seconds, then the next time hold him for one minute, but stay at one minute.

16:54 Don't go on for longer than that. You want to give him opportunities to stop doing the aggression. But yeah, of course he's gonna do that because it's getting attention, and you just say no, we don't do that, and then you take the toy away. He's still getting a lot of attention there. But this by physically restraining him, you're just preventing the violence, that's all.

17:11 But he's still not getting any attention.

17:13 Okay, the next one is Caroline from Canada. At a recent family event, a really helpful uncle thought it would be funny to teach my sweet, gentle 23-month-old to snatch things and yell mine. Now I've got a little mine monster, and I have no idea how to reverse the course that she's been taught.

17:29 Well, what I would do is say to the uncle, you're not getting any more Christmas presents from me.

17:34unknown Yeah.

17:35 Yeah, tell the uncle, you know what, that's gonna happen. You're gonna have family who's teasing kids and teaching them how to do naughty things. But the problem is that that child's too young to understand that. So yeah, uh, he messed up. He knows it probably. You've already told him, I'm sure. So, yeah.

17:49 So I'm sorry, what was the kid doing? Snatching things and then going, Mine. Okay, you're unfortunately, and you're gonna say to the uncle, if he thinks that's funny, just say, now look, I'm gonna have to discipline him for that, and he's gonna be crying and upset. So now you've upset him, okay? You have to follow through with consistent corrective action.

18:07 Unfortunately, the uncle did this. I wish you could do this in front of the uncle so that he could see what what he's putting this kid through now. So yeah, I I would explain that, even take a video. Look what you've done. Now he's crying, he's having an absolute fit because he got in trouble for doing that.

18:22 So you use consistent corrective action, you just say no, and then you know, and just keep doing that. So yeah, just say no, take away the fun, whatever, take away the toy.

18:30 Or you bring him over to the uncle's place and you you get you get the child to say mind everything, and they just get to keep everything.

18:38 No, even better. Drop them off for a whole weekend. Yeah, that's that's what you do. No, I'm kidding. But you you get the idea here. Yeah, the uncle messed up. He's an uncle. What the heck? They're gonna do stupid things sometimes. It's kind of funny, but you know, just show him the video though.

18:53 Or FaceTime.

18:54 Yeah, FaceTime, whatever. Show him, show them what you have to go through to fix this.

18:58 Okay, the next one is JC from the United States. Son's 18 months old, but has been doing this behavior for a while now. He always sits in the high chair to eat, but if he's upset prior to food even being introduced, or if at some point during mealtime he decides he doesn't want the food, he will violently swipe the tray off the uh the food off the tray.

19:15 The same with throwing his cup. I've just tried to ignore the behavior as I don't correct the action to take. But I believe the behavior is only getting worse. Okay.

19:23 So I wouldn't put the food on if you know he's in that zone, I would hand feed. Okay. Or I might give him a tiny bit of food. Give him an opportunity to do the wrong thing first. Okay. So you put a little bit of food on his plate. If he swipes it away, pick it up, throw it in the garbage, just say nope, and now you hand feed.

19:39 Just keep trying. He's just controlling you. He's he's thinking this is fun. And it is, you know. I mean, if for a little one to find that level of power over these big adults, it's very it's very empowering. It's very exciting. But there's more exciting things. It's singing songs, having fun with your parents.

19:57 So you've got to make the change the balance of that. So I would get songs going at the dinner table. I was very big on that. I always had games. Everything was a game. When I put my kids to bed, it was a game. Even my granddaughter, uh, my son watched what I do when I put her down for a nap. And he said, Oh boy, that was that it was very time consuming.

20:15 But I like to make everything fun. So they tend to not do anything naughty to get attention. They'd rather get the fun mom or the fun grandma or whatever. So yeah, I'd make I'd make eating more of a game. Say, okay, now we're gonna be singing. I'm gonna sing a song, or you could even tell him a story while he's eating.

20:29 You know, distract his attention away from this naughty stuff. He's probably getting a lot more attention doing that than he is just not doing it, right?

20:36 Okay, the next one's Regina from the United States. This summer I had twins and they are a breeze compared to my recently turned two-year-old daughter. She's always been much more explorative than other kids, but now it's becoming a problem. I can't take her anywhere because she just runs the whole time and it's difficult to keep up with her and the baby's in tow.

20:52 She's also really defiant now and says no to everything I tell her to do. I just want to be able to go places again, and I'm not sure if it's something I'm doing wrong or just a phase.

21:01 She's a runner, is that it? That's the problem. Oh, get a leash. Put her, get a put a harness on her before you go out and say, if you run, you're gonna go on the leash. Give her an opportunity first. And then as soon as she starts to run, be ready for it, though. As soon as she starts to run, say nope, clip her in.

21:15 You gotta be prepared for just one hell of an outing. So you're gonna have to keep her clipped in for the rest of that outing. So do a practice run. Go somewhere you don't need to go so that you can just abandon ship because she's gonna lay down. She's gonna lay down and scream and have an absolute fit.

21:29 And that's okay. So if you run, you get clipped in. She'll learn. You know, everyone wants the the rainbow. Like, how do I avoid this? You don't. You have to let them do the the crime so that you can come in with the punishment. Like, you know, you can't just say, you can't just say, be good, don't run.

21:45 Everyone wants that to work. It's never gonna work. You've got to allow them to make the mistake so that they can be accountable for it and learn from it. The lesson is in the discipline. It's not in the being told not to do something. Everyone thinks if their kids understand they shouldn't do something, they're not gonna do it.

22:00 But you know, it's I always use the same example, but would you always pay your taxes on time if there was no penalty? You understand you should pay it on time. Time. Understanding has very little to do with our behavior. It's the consequences. It's the accountability. That's what keeps us all in check.

22:15 And yet you expect a toddler to not run just because you said not to. You know, does the tax department expects uh expect us just to pay our taxes on time? No, they have a penalty, right? So think about that. What's the penalty for running if you get put on a leash? She'll learn. But the first outing or two or three is gonna be it's gonna be ugly.

22:36 Okay. The final question is Kylie from the United States. My daughter's just over two, so 26 months. Since her tantrum strage started, all she ever wants is a hug and to be held. So for example, I tell her no more XYZ snack and she gets upset, she'll cry and reach for a hug and then go about her day.

22:52 If I ignore her, she will continue to reach out for a hug or tug at my pants until I hold her and give her a hug. Am I reinforcing the behavior? She doesn't get violent or throw herself on the floor. All she ever wants is a hug, and then she's able to move on. I just don't want to be reinforcing anything now and paying for it for the next 10 years.

23:08 Well, of course you're reinforcing the tantrum. That's not love she's after. That's validate my tantrum. That's all it is. When they want a hug around a tantrum during a tantrum or right after when they're in the tantrum hangover phase, they're still in that mode, but they've just lost energy for it, right?

23:25 So if you hug that, now you're validating the tantrum. She has learned that, oh, I want, you know, if I if I have a tantrum, there's a reward at the end of it. So there should never be a reward for a tantrum. So that's all that is. And it's not love she's after, by the way. It's validate my tantrum. That's what she's after.

23:41 And you've said this before. You're hugging them every other time.

23:45 You're well, this is I'm assuming that their love cup is already full. They've love is uh fun is their love language. I'm assuming you play with them a lot. I'm very demonstrative with kids, I'm very affectionate with them. I'm assuming you're already loving them up when I talk about discipline, okay?

23:58 So I probably shouldn't assume that, but I'm I am assuming that. Um, because if you're not balancing it out, they're gonna go for any attention over none. So you want and that I kind of touched on that with the meal time. I said, you want to make that like mealtime fun. You, you know, fun is their love language.

24:13 The more fun you are, the more you turn everything into a game when they're really little, the more they're when they're three, they're gonna be super easy. Everything was a game with my kids. I didn't really realize that till my son and my son pointed that out the other day. And he said, Boy, that was just a real game, wasn't it?

24:28 Putting her a nap down. No, she's a very easy child. She would go down without it. But I just like to, I like everything to be fun and uplifting in a game because it's just more fun. Why would they act out if you're fun? It doesn't make any sense. But if she was to act out, my granddaughter, she's a super easy little girl, but if she did act out, I would just get real boring real fast.

24:49 So there's never a reward for acting out, right? And there's a consequence for it. But um, yeah, if you're fun, they're they're less likely to act out. Okay, well, that was everything for the questions. Okay, and the reason why I didn't have a lot to say about that is because toddlers are unpredictable.

25:03 And even in the boot camp course for toddlers, it's not a it's not a planned out system on how you handle toddlers. It's like if they do this, this is what you do. They're unpredictable, they're all different, they're unique. They're gonna come out with stuff and then we react to it. So it's not like we can plan what they're gonna do and then deal with it ahead of time.

25:20 We just sort of react to what they come out with. Some of them are super easy and calm, others are really wild and they're gonna push you. They're gonna be more challenging for sure. So it doesn't mean that that needs to continue for the rest of their life. It just means that as toddlers, they have found this wild that's sort of this, it's very exciting to all of a sudden you've got this voice and you've got this body that you're and they're using it and they're gonna try stuff.

25:43 That's completely normal. But other toddlers are just more relaxed anyway. And as they grow up, you can see it, they're just more calm anyway. So it's a basic nature that you're dealing with. Some are harder, some are easier. But yeah, the if you can get yourself set up as a leader when they're toddlers, by the time they turn three, it's usually really easy.

26:00 If you're not a leader in the toddler time in that couple of years there, it's very short. Then by the time they turn three, they tend to take over and get more difficult because they realize you don't know what you're doing. They pick up on that. Leadership is super, super important, but you lead with fun.

26:13 Fun is their love language. I think that's a great place to end. Perfect. Back again soon talking about another parenting topic. Happy parenting.

26:21 Thanks for tuning in. If you're ready to dive deeper, check out Bratbusters.com to learn more about the behavior board, parenting courses, and private one-on-one coaching with Lisa. If you've enjoyed the show so far, we'd love it if you could take a moment to follow, rate, and review us on your favorite podcast platform.

26:38 Your feedback helps us reach more parents just like you. The information provided in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional advice. Lisa is a parenting coach, mom, and grandmother. She is not a licensed psychologist or counselor. Her services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals.

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