My OBGYN Said He'd Never Seen Someone So Calm at 7 CM | Ep 27: Sadie's Birth Story

Sadie Larrabee: they checked me and I was at a seven and a half and I was like, sweet. and then my doctor, he was like, I have never seen someone this calm at a seven and I was like, Really?

Bridget: was that from the

Sadie Larrabee: like

Bridget: doctor that you had been seeing your whole pregnancy?

Sadie Larrabee: Yes.

Bridget: Okay. Yeah. So I feel like that's a lot coming from him. as he's been like, Are you sure? do you really want to do this? Let's get the epidural.

Sadie Larrabee: this is funny, but I kinda had this thing in me where I was like, I'm gonna prove him wrong. I'm gonna show him that like I'm having my first baby

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: and I know what I'm doing because it's my body and like I can do

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: this. And so every time when he said that, I was like, Mm-hmm, yeah, thank you.

Bridget: Welcome to the Built to Birth podcast. I am so excited to have you here today, listening to this episode with Sadie as she shares her birth story. She has such a unique perspective because her birth experience is what launched her into becoming a birth doula and working with clients and attending births. And so as she's retelling her birth story, she is doing it through a lens of being a birth worker. And so she shares so much. wisdom and encouragement and advice. And you guys are going to learn so much as you listen to her birth story. One of the really big things that she did in her pregnancy journey to prepare for her birth was taking the built-to-birth course. So if you want to prepare for birth like Sadie did, then check out builttobirth.com where you can either sign up for the built-to-birth course or you can start by taking the free mini birth class. I can't wait for you to hear Sadie's story. So let's jump in. Sadie, welcome to the Built to Birth podcast. I'm so excited to have you on to not just share your birth story, but to share how it launched you into the life that you are living now. I'm so excited to hear it all. And I think you have such an interesting perspective because you're actually doing birth work now. And I feel like our stories are similar because my First birth is what launched me into the trajectory of doing birth work and childbirth education and everything that I'm doing now. And so I'm just so excited to hear your story because clearly it was very transformational in how it changed your life. Why don't you take us to when you conceived? Was that planned? Was it unexpected? Was it easy? Was it challenging? walk us through that season of life.

Sadie Larrabee: Thank you so much. I'm so excited. so with Trying to Conceive, it's kind of interesting because my husband and I got married and I was just like, Yeah, let's have kids in a few years. My husband and I are actually childhood sweethearts, so we I've known him my whole entire life. And so it wasn't like I needed the years to get to know him necessarily. I felt like I already knew him so well, but I was just like, I think We should just wait a few years, be married, and then our third month married. I was late for my period and then I ended up starting my period and I was devastated. I was like,

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: I actually really wished I was pregnant. So actually let's get pregnant four months in. So

Bridget: Ha ha.

Sadie Larrabee: then the next couple months I was taking tests and then I actually was worried about something underlying because My periods ever since I was a teenager were very irregular. but about six months before we got married, it totally got really regular, which I think is just God. And

Bridget: Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: it's so amazing. And so because I prayed for it so much. I was like, if I'm only having two periods a year, I'm only ovulating twice, that's like not okay. And so

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: that was a miracle that I started having a really regular cycle.

Bridget: Did you change anything in your lifestyle?

Sadie Larrabee: I do think in general I was just a little healthier and my mental state was actually the best it had ever been. Just like my confidence.

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: I don't know if that has anything to do with it. Probably a little bit. I know stress can do that.

Bridget: It does. yeah. Absolutely.

Sadie Larrabee: but then I also have always been more on the holistic, natural, healthy eating side of things. But in high school, I didn't eat enough. I think honestly, maybe part of it is that I finally was like, Food is not bad. I had a better relationship with food. I had more confidence in myself. I was like fueling my body and loving it. And so maybe that's what it was. That's the only thing I can really

Bridget: I'm sure that that plays a huge part. I feel like that that's a struggle for so many women in the health space. And I know I went through that season too of being like, everything's bad, and going all in on veganism and being like, This is the answer, and then just realizing that I was totally like depleting my body. it does take its toll. And I feel like most women who think that they're like, I can't my period's not here or I can't lose this weight. The idea is like, I need to eat better. I need to get on a regimen. I need to do a diet. And for most women, it's you need to eat more. And that's, even

Sadie Larrabee: Yes.

Bridget: true when it's like especially true when it's healthy food. we need lots of good healthy food. So I'm sure that played a really big part in getting your period more regular. So I'm so happy for you. And it looks like it worked.

Sadie Larrabee: Yeah, I think so. And then obviously pregnancy and postpartum, like you're starving. So I did a really good job at eating enough and now I think I'm just in a good habit. So hopefully things

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: will be normal forever on, but we'll see. So

Bridget: Yeah, I love it.

Sadie Larrabee: anyways, my period got really regular and then I actually went in because of my concerns, I was wanting to just get screened and tested for endometriosis, PCOS, just anything that has to do with weird periods. And I also had I still have extreme pain on the first couple days of my period, like throwing up from the pain. So I was like, I feel like that's

Bridget: Mmm, mmm

Sadie Larrabee: not normal, but I know it it can be normal. I just wanted to make sure. and it was it's only like the first day. So anyways, I had an appointment in December to go in and get all that done. And then I got a positive pregnant Yes. Well I

Bridget: Which I'm glad you went in because that isn't normal. I'll just say that loud and clear. If any woman is dealing with like pain that is making you throw up, go get it checked out because that's not that's not normal. It's common but not normal. Okay. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: Yeah. Well, my mom has endometriosis and my mom has the same thing. So that's where I kind of was like, maybe that's what it is. But

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: I had that appointment in December and then November I got a positive pregnancy test. So I was like,

Bridget: Well

Sadie Larrabee: I guess we'll just find out later. I don't know. Or cause I'm pregnant. So yay.

Bridget: Yeah. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: So I got pregnant, just so excited. And then yeah, that was pretty much like the fertility, I felt very blessed because I honestly expected it to take a long time because I thought I might have endometriosis. so that was just amazing.

Bridget: that's incredible. So when you found out you were pregnant, what was the next little journey that you went on? were you like, Okay, I'm gonna pursue this kind of birth and go the natural route? I'm gonna pursue, getting the epidural. What was your mindset at when you first started off your pregnancy?

Sadie Larrabee: the thing that started it all was I actually my two youngest sisters, I am ten and eleven years apart from them. And so I actually was at my mom's births for those two. And I

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: loved it. And she was like elective induction, epidural, all the stuff, but it actually was a very positive experience, which I'm glad for because I know not everyone has a positive elective induction and s experience. but hers was like seriously four-hour labor, which is insane.

Bridget: Wow.

Sadie Larrabee: and so I think I just was like, birth is amazing. My mom woke us up like, today's the day. I think she made me feel like birth is not scary. And so

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: that carried into me being like, I'm so excited to give birth. I love birth. I remember asking my mom, can you watch birth videos with me? Cause I obviously didn't want to look it up by myself. But growing up, I was

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: like, I just really want to like see it again. I love it. I think it's so cool. And so

Bridget: Wow. Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: going into my birth, I actually already had the idea of like possibly going unmedicated. Like I just I I think I felt very connected to my body. And I also was very intrigued with the idea that women have been giving birth for thousands. Of years and our bodies are made to do it. So I wanted to research that a lot. And then obviously you come up on YouTube if anybody searches on medicated

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: birth anything. So I watched a bunch of your YouTube videos and I did the mini, the free mini birth class. And then I was like, I have to do the whole thing. and I was like,

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: Keaton, I'm I have to do this. And for some reason I thought he would

Bridget: We're doing it.

Sadie Larrabee: be like, No, you found this on social media. But he was like, sounds good, go for it. So

Bridget: No.

Sadie Larrabee: that was fun. And so I did the whole course and I loved it. And just if anyone doesn't know, it's like way more than just birth prep. It's like there's workouts, there's birth prep.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: There's postpartum. I didn't know anything about breastfeeding. That was amazing to have

Bridget: Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: the breastfeeding course because I actually did have a hard journey and I was just

Bridget: Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: going back to the videos and what am I doing wrong here?

Bridget: that makes me so happy that you are able to use those resources. seriously, it I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones for me. This is the first time I'm saying it on the podcast, but I am pregnant. I'm twelve weeks, but I cry at everything, but seriously I'm like, I'm gonna cry. no, but that seriously anytime moms bring that up, and especially, know, when things are hard. Like I love that you're like, Breastfeeding was a challenging journey for me. So I just kept going back to the resources. And I think that that's what's so important for moms to know is that there's resources out there that can help so much, whether it's built to birth or whether it's, you know, any other kind of resource out there, that there are so many things out there that can help them with whatever journey they're in for the season of life that they're in. So I love hearing that. Thank you for sharing that. was there any pushback from people around you when you were talking about wanting to have an unmedicated birth.

Sadie Larrabee: Yes. nobody that I knew at all in my whole family had had an unmedicated birth. So I think it just was a little bit the classic, like, that isn't safe. I'm okay,

Bridget: Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: well, it's just like they just don't know what they don't know, you know? And so

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: a lot of people or even just like the kind of you don't get a trophy for that, like why would you feel pain for no reason? Just the classic things like that.

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: My husband's mom though actually she has five kids and she had two unmedicated births. and then she had twins and stuff, so that one was more like watched over and she got medicated for that one. But that was pretty inspiring to me. Like I remember I actually was six weeks pregnant and we were waiting until eight weeks for the ultrasound to tell our families and it was gonna be Christmas, so we were like, on Christmas Day we'll tell everyone.

Bridget: my gosh, yes.

Sadie Larrabee: and so I actually was just picking her brain. I'm surprised she did not ask me if I was pregnant, but I was like, can you please tell me all your birth stories? Like, please, I want to hear

Bridget: Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: the unmedicated birth stories. And my mom was telling me she was like, back when I was having you, like there it was like what to do what to expect when you're expecting. There was nothing really

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: unless you like knew a midwife or a doula, which not many people did, you did not know about anything unmedicated. So I

Bridget: Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: was surprised that his mom had done that. So I just was asking her a lot. And then I would st sort of like talk about it and hear peop especially once I announced I was pregnant, people would tell me about their births and I would just go nuts over the people who had given birth unmedicated, just like, tell me everything.

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: What helped you? What did you like? What birth preparation did you do? And then once I did your course, I felt like literally Over prepared in the best way. it almost made me feel like I had 10 options. And so

Bridget: Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: I could just r it didn't feel stressful like this is gonna make or break it. It was like, if you're feeling pain, there's like so many things to try. It's not like you

Bridget: Hmm. Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: suffer or you get the epidural, you know. and my husband, he's the most chill person on the planet. So luckily He was just like, yeah, sounds good. and he's pretty, he he doesn't even like taking ibuprofen. So I think he was like, yeah, sounds good if you don't want to get medicated. But I think either way, he was just doing what I wanted to do. So that was nice.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: in my pregnancy, I had multiple little crises of maybe I should give birth in the birthing center or something. I don't know. I just I the midwifery model of care is way more my style. But I had already been meeting with my OB for a while. And it's like that weird thing when you're pregnant where it's like security not to change. And I was like,

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: he knows what I want. I think I'll just stay. And something that did rub me the wrong way a little bit was just that Every appointment, he was like, you still wanna, you're still thinking I'm medicated? Because I would ask questions, and he was like, I mean, there's nothing wrong with getting an epidural. I'm like, no, I'm not saying that. I'm just

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: I have a preference. So it was a little bit annoying in that way. And actually, the hospital I gave birth in, I live in Utah, and now I think there's five hospitals in Utah that do this. So if anyone lives in Utah, You should figure this out. But there's this program called Simply Birth. And basically there's a few rooms in the labor and delivery s hall that have birthing tubs, they're bigger rooms, bigger beds. And it's basically like a birthing center. And it says I think that their l slogan kind of thing is like the comfort of a home birth in the safety of a hospital, which I don't love that because it is not the comfort of a home birth. You're not at home.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: It's like maybe a birthing center. Yes. And I had I think it's amazing. I'm like, if you want to be in the hospital,

Bridget: But they're working for it. Yeah. They're they're trying, which is great. No, absolutely.

Sadie Larrabee: do that program because it is so good. And they automatically,

Bridget: Yeah. Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: your OB or midwife just has to sign off that you're low risk. And then you're basically guaranteed like you don't have to get an IV. You can eat. You

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: can drink. It's kind of like it's literally like a birthing center, but

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: you have access to all of that if if you need it.

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: And I, my husband was just a little bit, first baby. He's chill, but I think he was like, let's just do it in the hospital for the first one. They

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: have this amazing program. You should, you know, be able to get what you want. So I was like, Yeah, let

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: that that sounds good to me. And I wanted to support the program. I was like, I think this is so cool. I want

Bridget: Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: to do it and show that people want to do it this way in the hospital. I was going down this route with Simply Birth, and I was really excited. And every time I would be like, Hey, so have you signed off on my Simply Birth? And he would say, are you still sure you want to do that? And I'm like, Why don't you just sign it and then we'll see what happens? But yes, like I do, yes. And then he's like, Have you done any birth prep or anything? I am like, Yeah, I'm sure that it's more than most people because your program is so in-depth. And so, anyways, that was just kind of annoying getting that pushback from him. ultimately I decided for my birth team, and I will say that I do kind of regret this, but I just had it be me and my husband because he did all this stuff with me, and I was kind of like, he's gonna be my doula. But

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: I do think women need women, and I'm very passionate about that because my husband was amazing, but I needed is my best example. My husband runs ultra marathons, he runs hundred miles, and

Bridget: Wow.

Sadie Larrabee: whenever I'm helping him, I always get all these people who have ran hundred mile races that just rush over and they know exactly how to help him. They're like, I've done this, I know what you need. you're cramping, let me give you this. Whereas I'm like, Tell me what you need because I don't know. I don't run hundred-mile races. And so he

Bridget: Mm, mm.

Sadie Larrabee: can he can prep, give me prep as much as he can. But if something goes down on the course and I don't know how to handle it, it's so nice having those people. And so I always joke that

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: they're like the ultra doulas whenever his friends come and help. But

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: that's what I think women need is they need people who can see something and just act on it. And the mom doesn't have to be saying everything that she needs.

Bridget: Yes.

Sadie Larrabee: So that's one thing. I wish my mom was there. I I didn't

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: have anyone there just because I was like, nobody in my close life ever has like super had the goal to go unmedicated. And so I thought it might be difficult for them to help. But

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: now looking back, I'm like, no way, it would have been better than not having anyone. And I'll definitely have a doula next time. but that's kind of foreshadowing.

Bridget: Yeah, not having anyone. and I think there's just something about having just like that wise woman energy in the room too. Like I always have my sister in law come to my births and there's just something like when I lock eyes with her, I'm like, Okay, like I can do this. We've got this. Like same thing with my midwife. As soon as I'm able to like lock eyes with her. So it's not even necessarily that they're doing something for me. It's just like they have this energy. I don't even know what it is. It's just this calming presence of just being like, I've been where you've been. I know the strength that it takes to get through to the other side and you have that in you. And somehow they can communicate that with like a touch or a look or just their presence. And it is something about just having a woman in the room. And so I love that you bring that up. And it has nothing to say about what husbands can or can't do because they bring such an irreplaceable presence and peace and they're a a an important puzzle piece, but so

Sadie Larrabee: hi.

Bridget: is the wise woman in the in the birthing space. So I love that you said that. So why don't we jump into your birth and labor starting and kind of how it all unfolds, unless there's an important piece during your pregnancy that you didn't cover yet.

Sadie Larrabee: Not really. Other than I really recommend floor physical therapy. Just

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: like she literally taught me how to push. they obviously do pelvic exams. And so while she was down there, she was like, Okay, push like you're bearing down. And she was like, That's not how you're gonna push. And she was like, Now do the she would teach me about the diaphragmatic breathing and just like

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: you're pushing with your contractions with your uterus, with your core, not

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: your pelvic floor. That needs to be nice and loose.

Bridget: So good.

Sadie Larrabee: and I'm like, why does my doctor not teach me this? So

Bridget: Yeah. And it's always like push like you're pooping, push like you're pooping. And it's like, that's

Sadie Larrabee: Yes.

Bridget: the wrong, that's the wrong connection. Like your mind-body connection is like,

Sadie Larrabee: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: that's not right. Cause it is. It is, it's your core muscles that are pushing. And I think pelvic floor therapy is so beneficial during pregnancy because so many women just lack the mind-body connection of like where the physical sensation should be when they're pushing. And so even having that feedback. And I think that's even one of the benefits of doing like perennial massage is because it actually

Sadie Larrabee: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: just like builds in this connection of like, this is where my baby's going to be coming out of. This is what needs to stretch and yield. But you're absolutely right. It's your uterus contracting and pushing baby down. And it's your core muscles that are assisting in that. to help baby come down and out. So I love, love, love that you said that.

Sadie Larrabee: I definitely recommend it. And even just

Bridget: Yeah. Great.

Sadie Larrabee: for pelvic pain, it seriously

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: healed me. And I was like, I can be normal and not waddle every time I have to walk. Like I just think it really helps. And so

Bridget: What kind of pelvic pain were you having?

Sadie Larrabee: I was having SI joint pain on my

Bridget: Okay.

Sadie Larrabee: left side. And now that I know from the therapy, it's actually not joint pain. It's nerve pain

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: from the relax what's it called? Relaxin.

Bridget: Relaxing.

Sadie Larrabee: Okay. Yeah. It's from the relaxin, lengthening your ligaments, but it causes

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: your nerves to kind of move into different positions so they could be pinched. And so it's mostly just like mobility work to help get your nerves right in the Good spot so they're not getting

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: pinched because I would get like the shooting pain down my leg and up my back, and I had to keep my legs together. I couldn't do anything asymmetrical. And

Bridget: Mm. Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: I was nannying at the time, and I was like, I can't even vacuum. Like this is really, really hard. And so for about

Bridget: Yeah. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: a month I struggled with like almost debilitating pain from that. And so then that's when I started.

Bridget: man.

Sadie Larrabee: And then the things she was giving me are actually. the same things that you said to do on your pelvic

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: pa pain YouTube video that I watched. But I

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: think I just needed someone to see my body and make sure that

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: it was like what I should do. But a lot of them were the same that you were doing like inversions and just things

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: that stretch and open everything.

Bridget: Yeah. And we want to balance that. We want the stretching and the we want the openness, but we also want the stability. And I think that's a big puzzle piece that a lot of moms are missing is that yes, we want to stretch. And especially when we're dealing with those pelvic pains or the SI pain or, anything pelvic girdle related is that it's like stretch, stretch, stretch, and we forget to build muscle because with that relax

Sadie Larrabee: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: in that makes our body so like loosey goosey. We also need stability and muscle is what helps provide that stability. So I always say for moms too who are dealing with pelvic pain, I'm like, do your squats, do your deadlifts, because that helps so much with creating stability for your pelvis. But definitely seeing a pelvic florotherapist who can give you like individualized support is the best route to go. So I'm glad that you brought that up.

Sadie Larrabee: Yeah. And it was only twenty bucks an appointment because it was covered by insurance. So it's not I think I was a little bit like, it's gonna be at this specialty studio that caught that costs a hundred and fifty bucks. But just for moms out there, they know what they're doing in clinics to take insurance to mine was amazing. And she actually the

Bridget: Mm-hmm. That's great.

Sadie Larrabee: one who put me on the path to be a doula and she contacted

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: me with where I should do training. So, anyways,

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: they they're like Pretty close with the birth world, I feel like. So they're awesome. but okay,

Bridget: Hm, yeah, they definitely are. Awesome.

Sadie Larrabee: I'll go into my birth now. So early

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: labor is always a mind game. And especially with your first, I knew it would be long. My early labor was about like a whole day, but it was so manageable. It's not, I don't want people to feel like, I was in 25, four hours of a labor. It wasn't really,

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: it was seriously just like. I feel a little period crampy feeling, it wasn't a big deal.

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: So what started it though was every appointment since 37 weeks, my doctor was like, Let's schedule your induction, let's schedule your induction. And I was like,

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: please, I I literally that's like the main thing I don't want. I want anything but an elective induction.

Bridget: Had he signed off on your simply birth?

Sadie Larrabee: Yes. At 37 weeks he signed off. Yes. He

Bridget: He's still asking for an induction. my gosh.

Sadie Larrabee: is an on-call doctor. So I think that's part of the reason why. He's not on a rotation. So I think obviously he's like, that'd

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: be nice if I know when I'm gonna come in. And I get

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: that, but I'm also like, if a mom is not okay with that, don't get a doctor who needs to know when they're working because they're just gonna push. like rotation

Bridget: Yeah. Yep, absolutely.

Sadie Larrabee: honestly might be better because you don't know who's gonna be there. But that it doesn't matter because there

Bridget: Yeah. There's not gonna be this pressure of like I have to be there. So I'm trying to work you into my schedule. That's a really good point. Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: Yes. Yeah. So he that's the reason that he was pushing, I think, is just that, you know, he just wanted to know. So

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: which I get on his end, but on my end, I'm like, don't like that. So

Bridget: No, of course not.

Sadie Larrabee: but luckily I was like so confident in my choices. I was like, I don't care if my husband catches the baby. Like, if you're not there, it's okay with me. I'm like so confident that. The nurses catch babies all the time, it's whatever. if I needed a C-section as an emergency, there's gonna be another OB there. I just didn't feel

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: that like stress of like, he's trying to get me to schedule something. So I did not take that pressure. I was just like I kind of would laugh at him and be like, Nope, you know my goals. And he was like, Okay. So

Bridget: That's great.

Sadie Larrabee: I didn't make it, it didn't need to be this big contention as just You're silly, no, I'm not doing it.

Bridget: Hmm. That's great.

Sadie Larrabee: in hindsight, I really could have switched to the midwives because there's a midwife group at that hospital too. I could have done that. I just you know.

Bridget: Yeah, at that point you're like, honestly, and I think that that can be true for a lot of women. That was for me for my first birth. I was like, I'm working with an OB who has the highest C-section rate in the whole hospital. But I was like kind of the same as you. I was like, you know what? I don't really care though, because I'm not gonna listen to anything you say. So, you know, but

Sadie Larrabee: Yeah.

Bridget: you have to be that kind of person too. Do you feel like you're a pretty headstrong person or are you were you headstrong in this area because You had done so much research and you felt so confident.

Sadie Larrabee: I am not headstrong, but yes, I was.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: I'm actually pretty avoid contention, whatever.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: Or like, I don't want them to feel like I'm trying to say I know more than them. You know, I'm kind of like nervous about making people feel disrespected. But in that scenario,

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: I was like, this is not about who knows more. It's about I know my body more than anybody on the whole planet Earth. So

Bridget: Mm. Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: I know that when I want to do something with it's not like where should we go to lunch? It's like

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: my a huge decision and a huge thing that my body's gonna go through. And I think that it should be so encouraged that like, of course you can have a preference on your birth. This isn't like you're having preferences on a surgery that you're not gonna be awake for. This is something you are doing with your body. So it's

Bridget: Yes.

Sadie Larrabee: very important and I think I knew that and you are very good in your course at like reiterating that empowerment and like this is not

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: Anybody else's choice. If there's an emergency, you still make the choice. They're there

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: to help you in the emergency, but they're not there to make you do things that you don't want to do. And I think

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: a lot of moms don't understand. You can say no to anything in the hospital. Like nothing is set in stone. Nothing is a law. And so obviously you should listen the acronym that you always use, you your brain, you should think

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: about all of the things. But I don't think that that is an area where you should be passive. I think you should be very confident and headstrong about what is going to happen to your body and making sure

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: you have control over that.

Bridget: I love that. And it sounds like you really did that as your OB is like, induction, are we gonna plan it? Induction, induction, and you're like, no,

Sadie Larrabee: huh.

Bridget: no, no. So take us to, your final appointment with your OB before things get kicked off.

Sadie Larrabee: Yes. So thirty-nine week appointment rolls in and at this point I had rejected the cervical checks because they start offering them at like thirty-seven weeks, I think. But I just was like, I didn't want it to get in my head because I know that I could sit at a four for three weeks. You just never know. And so I was like,

Bridget: No.

Sadie Larrabee: I don't wanna know. But at the thirty-nine week I think I was more out of curiosity, which that's an important thing, is don't make a decision. Out of impatience or fear. Just like if you're curious and that whatever they say, it's not gonna make you make a rash decision, then that's probably a good

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: time for you to be okay getting checked. But if you're like, if I'm not at a four, I'm gonna say yes to the induction, you should not get checked. And

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: so I said yes because I wanted to know out of curiosity and just like, I wanna know the head station because that can help me

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: know. things I can do to help the baby engage. So I said yes. And they said that she was at a negative one and I was three centimeters. And I was like, that's fun. obviously

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: I I had this gut feeling my whole pregnancy that I'd go into labor before 40 weeks. And I know that that whole time I was like, I'm gaslighting myself. This is not gonna happen. I hate

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: that I have this feeling. But I just did and spoiler alert

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: I did give birth before 40 weeks, but I think it's like a I don't recommend thinking that you're gonna go into labor early, but you can't help it. You're just so done at that point.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: I was like, actually, I think now that I know I'm like a three and she's pretty low, I want to do a membrane sweep. Cause the worst case scenario is that it doesn't work and it causes discomfort. But I was kind of just like, yeah, let's just do it. and he had warned me, he was like, I actually have not seen a lot of success from membrane sweeps, just so you know. But I was like, okay. he did it. It hurt so bad. I was like, I also

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: just in general, he was not gentle. Like anything I had

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: to do like that. It hurt way more than the nurses doing it. I don't know what it was. Maybe he's just

Bridget: good membrane sweeps usually aren't gentle and comfortable, unfortunately. So

Sadie Larrabee: Well, maybe it was a good one then.

Bridget: maybe he did a good job. I don't know.

Sadie Larrabee: Yeah. Well it did cause labor, so it must have been good. But

Bridget: There we go.

Sadie Larrabee: he did it and I was like, holy, that was not fun. That made me realize I don't want a lot of cervical checks in labor. Especially by him. they have to to admit you, 'cause at this in for the Simply Birth program, you

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: have to be at a five to be admitted, which I love. I'm like, I actually think that's

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: awesome because it helps you stay at home longer. yeah, so he did that. We went home, went to bed, nothing was really happening. I think that appointment was at like 4 30 p.m. So it was later in the day. And so that next morning, around 7 or 8 a.m., I woke up and I was having, you know, like the period cramp. It wasn't the classic Braxton Hicks where it's just tight. It was like period crampy.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: So of course I'm like, I'm gonna go bounce on the birth ball for an hour. I just got excited and I was happy it was in the

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: morning and not at night. And so was trying not to read into it, but I was kind of like texting my mom and because my my parents live really close to the hospital that I wanted to labor in. They live ten minutes

Bridget: Okay.

Sadie Larrabee: away, we live 45 minutes away. So I was like,

Bridget: Okay.

Sadie Larrabee: maybe I'll come hang out at your house today, mom, because then if something happens, I'm just I'm just there. I can just kind of I wanted to labor at home. My my like dream was to labor until I was like in transition so I could just get there and push. but

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: obviously, first time mom, it's kind of hard to read.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: so that didn't happen, but it ended up being okay. So I went over to my mom's house. I just swam in her pool. It was hot July summer. It just felt so good, like all the weight off my joints. I just

Bridget: Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: I was like, I'm gonna really put my brain into this the peace mode and I'm not gonna be stressed because oxytocin needs to be flowing. I just

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: wanted things to progress. And then the whole day my contractions were about ten minutes apart, but nothing it they were not getting more intense. So I knew nothing was really happening. It was just was just early labor. So then

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: that night was kind of getting excited, but then I was like, Okay, well It's not happening today. And I was also like, this could be predromal labor. Some people get a

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: whole day of predromal labor after a membrane sweep. And so I just I was like, okay, I'm just gonna go to sleep. And if this is happening, I'll wake up and it can happen. But I went to sleep and then about 4 a.m., they were waking me up and I was like, these are definitely a little stronger. And then I had my husband start doing some counterpressure. I actually had pretty intense back labor, even though my baby was not OP at all. Like even at the hospital,

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: they like checked her fontanelles and they're like, no, she's like perfect position. So I don't know. I was one of those unlucky people that just had it. And

Bridget: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, it can happen.

Sadie Larrabee: I hear people say how much better it is when you don't have it. So I'm like, maybe I won't have one next time. And I'll be like, that was way easier.

Bridget: Yes.

Sadie Larrabee: We'll see, because I definitely feel like when I have clients who have back labor, I'm like, I so know. I so know. It isn't

Bridget: Yes, I feel for you.

Sadie Larrabee: it is very, very intense. it almost feels like your back is just like like I don't know how

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: to describe. It's just very strong back pain, basically.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: So I was like, Keaton, do the hip squeezes. Every single time because it's not feeling good. I it got to the point around like 7 a.m., I was like, Kay, I need him to sleep because if my back pain is already this bad, I need him to have the strength to do this the whole time. And so

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: I was like, You keep sleeping. And also he wasn't up from like four to seven. He's one of those miracle people that can fall asleep in 10 seconds. So he would like

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: fully go to sleep, and then the next contraction I'd like wake him up. So I know. I'm like, don't don't moms need that? Why is it always the dads?

Bridget: That's amazing. What a dream. Yes. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: so he was like, you sleep, I'm gonna go. and we actually stayed the night at my parents' house.

Bridget: Okay.

Sadie Larrabee: so I went upstairs and I just like got in bed with my mom and my dad was already gone and I was like, Hey, I'm having contractions and they're pretty strong. And of course she didn't know a ton. So she's like, my gosh, you're breathing through this. You should go to the hospital. But I was like,

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: No. And, you know, next time I give birth, I definitely want her there. So she's gonna be doing all the birth prep with me. and she already kind of knows, just based off of what I've told her.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: But she was great. She was just like distracting me, talking to me, and I was like, Can you just

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: like tell me something interesting? So she would just start telling me, like, there's this crazy thing going on in the neighborhood or

Bridget: Yeah. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: Not like drama necessarily, just here's all the updates. This person's getting married, this whatever. So I was like, thank you. And I would just sit there and breathe through my contractions. I love the four in, six out. I actually just stuck to that the whole time. I don't think

Bridget: Mm. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: breathing should be this code, you need to do this breath for this thing. I think if you have one breath pattern that you really like, just stick to it because it's gonna be that thing that you can always go back to and it's one more thing you don't have to think about. You're just like,

Bridget: That's great.

Sadie Larrabee: I I do the four in six out or whatever that is for

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: you. And I actually had to work up to that because being big and pregnant and trying to breathe in that long is actually really hard. so

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: I would say practice this from like twenty weeks or I mean as early as possible. Cause the more you

Bridget: That's such good advice.

Sadie Larrabee: get big, you're just like it's easier to hyperventilate with the smaller lung capacity. And so I think just practicing like if you stub your toe, breathe. through it. s anytime you feel pain, practice it. When you go poop, practice it. When you're

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: sitting and watching TV. That is what I did. And I think that that's the reason I could keep control of my breath my whole labor is just because I practice so much. And I just stuck to that one.

Bridget: Mm. Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: So, anyways, I need to speed this up a little bit, but 'cause this part's just still

Bridget: You're good at

Sadie Larrabee: kind of early labor. But I think this actually was starting to get into active labor just based on the pain I was feeling. Or I actually did not use the word pain. I was like, everybody say intensity. I just wanna like disassociate

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: with pain because something you said in your course stuck with me and I tell all my clients this now. It's like if you break your arm, that is pain that is not supposed to be there. you're not supposed to have a broken bone. Something is wrong.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: But when you're in labor, nothing is wrong. Everything that's happening is exactly how it's supposed to be. So it is painful, but it's like it's progressive pain. You're supposed to feel

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: it. So I actually was like, I don't want to associate the word pain because this

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: isn't there's nothing wrong. It's just It's just intense. So I would say intensity. Yes, it's power. I like that.

Bridget: Yeah, it's power. Yeah, and exactly.

Sadie Larrabee: so I would be like, Yeah, this one's really intense, or not as intense. And so

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: around 9 a.m. or 8 a.m., my husband comes up. We're all just kind of hanging out. My parents are both like, should you go? I was like, No, like in between contractions, I'm still totally myself. So I'm gonna wait till they're a little closer. And actually, spoiler alert, my contractions never got closer than four minutes until I was pushing. So going based

Bridget: Wow.

Sadie Larrabee: on the minutes is actually not always predictable. I think it's more the intensity. If you're like

Bridget: No. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: out of this world in between contractions and you're totally unable to be normal, that's when it's like definitely go. That's like transition.

Bridget: Yes. Wonderful. I'm so glad you said that. Yes, because it's always like the 511 rule. And it's like, well, that's not always true because

Sadie Larrabee: No.

Bridget: some women can experience that from the get-go. Some women never get to that. And I always say it's the behavior. What is the behavior like between the contractions? Because that is going to be the biggest tell. Of where she is going into labor. is she in that labor land where everything's like, don't talk to me. I'm inside my own body right now. I'm in my own world. Or is she like, ooh, that was intense. Can you get me some water? Like a, you know, getting back to normal

Sadie Larrabee: Yes.

Bridget: conversation. So I'm so glad you said that because yes, we want to pay attention to timing, but it's so much more about behavior during those in-between contraction moments. So I love that you said that.

Sadie Larrabee: Yeah, for sure. I couldn't talk or walk through them, but after it was over, I was like, okay, what were we talking about? So I just

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: it was fine. And so then about noon I ate a big lunch and I was like starting to get to the point where I was like in between contractions, I was like, Okay, this is like I actually was still pretty normal. I was just a little more like it like the contractions themselves I was like gearing up for them because they were getting really intense. And so

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: We ended up deciding to go to the hospital. And I was like, if I'm not at a five, I'm just gonna go home. I'm not gonna like get finagled into staying. I just I don't I don't wanna be there for too long. So we got there and they were like, yep, you're at a five. And actually they I actu technically I was at a four and a half, but they were like, let's keep you. And if you're not at a five in the next thirty to sixty minutes, then you can go home. But it like you seem to be progressing quickly. So if you get to a five and you wanna stay, we'll admit you. And I was like, Yeah, we're here. Like if I'm gonna be at a five, that's fine. So they did the continuous monitoring for 30 minutes, checked me. I got to a five. I was like, Yeah, let's just stay because We're here and I do feel like it is progressing. I think that there's a can be a lot of shame with like there it that you just are impatient at that point. And I think that sometimes moms feel a lot of shame, like, I should have gone back home. But I'm like, it's okay. Like if you feel safe staying, that's totally fine. It's seriously just going off of how you feel safe and comfortable. So

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: I think sometimes it's obviously the ideal thing is to wait as long as possible to go in. But if you get in there and you're like, Yeah, I feel okay to stay, unless you're not in labor. If you're like in active

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: labor, I'm like, that's okay if you feel okay to stay. I have clients who have this

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: like crazy, I feel like I I feel guilty. I'm not like at an eight yet. And I'm like, it's okay if you feel safe. But if you

Bridget: yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: don't feel safe, then like do it do what you want to do. I mean you should You should feel safe in the hospital.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: If you don't, maybe maybe you should rethink your birth plan. But

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: in the moment you can't do that. So it's like whatever you feel comfortable with. So I felt comfortable to stay. I just wanted to say that because I think sometimes there's like a stigma on always doing the right thing, but it's like there's not a right thing always. So

Bridget: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: I stayed and I did progress pretty quickly. I think An hour or two later, they checked me and I was at a seven and a half and I was like, sweet. and then my doctor, he was like, I have never seen someone this calm at a seven and I was like, Really?

Bridget: Wow.

Sadie Larrabee: It was kind of like a huge compliment. I was just like, that's so amazing like

Bridget: Especially coming, was that from the doctor that you had been seeing your whole pregnancy?

Sadie Larrabee: Yes.

Bridget: Okay. Yeah. So I feel like that's a lot coming from him. And how cool that he's seeing

Sadie Larrabee: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: this unmedicated natural experience unfold in front of him as he's been like, Are you sure? do you really want to do this? Like, let's maybe rethink

Sadie Larrabee: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: this. Let's get the epidural. Let's get the induction, you know? So I love that he's able to like watch what's happening in front of him and he is like, Wow, you're in transition. And you're like cool as a cucumber.

Sadie Larrabee: Yeah. And well, I actually think I was not quite to transition because once it hit, I could not be like that between contractions. But

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: so it was probably seriously like right before I hit transition. But

Bridget: Okay. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: I think he was just like, You're doing amazing and I kind of

Bridget: Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: this is funny, but I kinda had this thing in me where I was like, I'm gonna prove him wrong. I'm gonna show him that like I'm having my first baby

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: and I know what I'm doing because it's my body and like I can do

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: this. And so every time when he said that, I was like, Mm-hmm, yeah, thank you.

Bridget: feel like we're so similar in that way. The honestly after having two home births, there's like part of me that's like, maybe I should give birth in the hospital and just show them what's up. Like just be like, yeah, I'm gonna do whatever I want. I'm gonna show you what birth can look like.

Sadie Larrabee: Yeah. Well they don't see it a lot.

Bridget: No, it's true. You're right. But that's just so funny. And I love that that's coming out because I like totally get what you mean.

Sadie Larrabee: Yeah, I think yeah, it's just a good feeling. You're like, I it yeah,

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: proving someone wrong, not in a bad way, in a way where it's like I'm showing you I'm strong, it always feels good. It's like

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: you thought I couldn't do it. And also

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: there was even a few influencers I follow who had unmedicated births and then they did like a QA and they were like, I would not recommend this for first-time moms. And I'm like,

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: I don't like that that's out in the world.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: Because it's like I mean, honestly, the thing that's nice about a first-time birth is everything that's happening is new. So you don't even have another birth to compare it to. You're like, this is just how it is. And so maybe

Bridget: Yeah. Exactly. Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: the moms who are saying that, they had like a second birth unmedicated and then they were like, I'm glad for my first I had an epidural. I don't know. I don't know what why people

Bridget: Yeah. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: say that, but I just think there shouldn't be a thing about first-time moms. not giving birth unmedicated. So he came in. This is the funniest part about my labor. Basically the nurse both right before he came in was like, hey, so he she kind of rolled her eyes and was like, he has a family barbecue to go to and he's wondering if he can break your water. And I was like,

Bridget: No.

Sadie Larrabee: a family barbecue? Go, dude. I do not need you to be here. Like I just was like, why I I'm like, I don't okay. So in Utah, Pioneer Day is the 24th of July. So it was Pioneer Day. So there's everybody gets together. A lot of pi places you don't even have to work. It's

Bridget: Okay.

Sadie Larrabee: 4th of July. There's fireworks, it's like parades. So I understand

Bridget: Okay.

Sadie Larrabee: it was a holiday, but I was like, I mean, I I think I told her I was like, can he just like can he just go? Like I but then After talking to her, and she was, I have to shout her out. She was basically my doula. She was amazing. From

Bridget: Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: the time I got there, she was like, you brought a birth plan. I wanna read over it with you.

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: she was so supportive, excited about my birth. She was like, we don't see

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: obviously tons of unmedicated births. So I love when people come in and do this. And I just I think that sometimes nurses are the opposite, where they're like, ugh, this this lady with her doula is gonna control the The birthroom. But really, I think it is so much more positive when they can say, the mom is in control of the birthroom. This is her birth. And let's

Bridget: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: celebrate it and like be excited together. And

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: when I was in transition, I always talk about this because it's just so amazing. My husband had to do counterpressure the whole time. And she held my head on her chest and was swaying. Like I was sweaty

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: and gross. And she just like was such. A maternal, womanly, wonderful presence, and I

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: loved her. And that's what I was most scared about. I was like, the nurse is there more than the doctor. So you want a good nurse.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: And she was phenomenal, phenomenal. And she actually told me if I give birth there again, she'll like come in and work that day. I was like, I love you. I know. So

Bridget: That is so precious. amazing.

Sadie Larrabee: she was great. So for any nurses out there, that's what you do. You just kind of

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: You just be a motherly, comforting, sweet presence and you be excited. If a mom wants an epidural, awesome. Like just like support them on their goals. I just think that that's so important. So

Bridget: Mm. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: she was amazing. And so she was kind of telling me, she was like, I'm gonna be honest, like predicting time isn't possible, but I will say You're on you're pretty much in transition. So if he breaks your water, it's probably just a difference of one or three hours. So if

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: you want to keep your waters intact, it might be a little longer. It might not, but it's probable that it would be a little longer. But she's like, seriously, Sadie, it's up to you. And I was like, Okay. So I thought about it and then I was like, you know what? I'm almost at an eight anyways, that's fine. I'll just do that. And I try not to regret things, but I am like, I regret it because how cool would it have been if my water broke while I was pushing and it wasn't as painful eating up? Because once your water breaks, it is more painful for sure. And

Bridget: Hm. Yeah, yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: so I w the only thing I wish I could have felt is I I just wish I knew how it would have played out if I didn't do that. But that's okay.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: Cause it's still, it still is positive. I don't

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: count that as like being medicated. It definitely is

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: like. artificial rupture of membranes, it's not natural, but it was still

Bridget: But you had all also progressed so far into labor that at that point it was so inevitable that it was going to happen. And, you know, it's not like, Hey, we're doing this when you're three centimeters dilated. It's hey,

Sadie Larrabee: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: we're getting so close to the end. Do you want to, you know, take these measures to get to the end?

Sadie Larrabee: Yes.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: Yeah. So next time I probably won't do it because I just am curious to see what happens. I mean, how

Bridget: Yan.

Sadie Larrabee: cool she could have even been born on call. That would have been cool. Like, I don't know. I just

Bridget: Yeah, that would have.

Sadie Larrabee: it's like the unknown is what haunts me, but it's okay. So

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: he broke my water and then immediately I'm in transition. I was like, gosh, like this is transition. This is what it feels like.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: I was like, I want to get back in the tub. So I got in the tub.

Bridget: What did it feel like? what was the difference? How how did it shift?

Sadie Larrabee: so I would say before it was like five out of ten pain. Like it was manageable. During the contraction it was like definitely breathing through it, definitely intense. But between them I was like, I get a break for a few minutes, you know? but then once they broke my water, it was like I think the best way to describe this is almost like in your pelvis, which makes sense, because the baby's head is much more engaged. It's like this

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: crazy outward pressure, what you

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: say, how you feel like your bum is gonna explode. Like just

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: kind of you just feel the baby. It's like they say, instead of contracting on a water balloon, it's like on the baby, on your joints, on their joint. It's just like so.

Bridget: Mm. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: If I I think, if anything, it's just like it's like a normal contraction before transition. It's just a amplified a lot.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: at least for me. And I had back labor too, so for me it was

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: all around town. and so

Bridget: Yeah, so intense. What helped you cope with transition and those intensifying sensations?

Sadie Larrabee: Breathing was great. Sadly, the water actually didn't help as much as I hoped it would. It was like

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: warm, hot water too. So, like on my period, heating pads totally helped me. And actually in earlier late, like early active labor, I went in the tub and it felt great. But in transition, I was like, this doesn't feel different. And if anything, like the hard tub, I was like done

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: kneeling on it. I just kind of I only was

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: in there about actually I think I was in there for an hour. So

Bridget: Okay.

Sadie Larrabee: let me go in order here. So after they broke my water, I get in the tub. I was in there about an hour. During the contractions, that's when I was like, she was holding my head outside the tub. My husband

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: was reaching in and doing counterpressure. There was one point my husband was like, Sadie, I have to pee so bad. And I liter that was the only point I kind of panicked. I was like, no, no, like you cannot leave me.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: And he w he it was like after the next contraction, I will go as fast as I can. Like the bathroom's in here. I think it'll be

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: fine. But my contractions moved to one to two minutes apart in transition. And

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: so, was just so scared. That's like, you know, you just need for me, I was the mom who like I wanted hands on me. I wanted to feel like I was being supported. I just needed his hands touching me the whole time. And that's

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: why I wished I had a doula. I wanted him to be by my face, I

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: could lean on him, but he had to do the counterpressure because the nurse had other things to do, she

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: was in the room and helping and she actually

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: asked at one point, hey, is that okay if I go for I don't have another patient, but is that okay if I go out for a minute and then come back or do you want me to stay? And I was like, please, please stay. And she was so sweet. She's like, okay, I'll stay. I won't go. And she

Bridget: Mm. Awww

Sadie Larrabee: because most of the time they're more busy than that. So she would have had

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: to like go take care of other people. But

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: actually the Simply Birth program too, I think that the nurse that's your nurse only has you.

Bridget: Wow, that's amazing. Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: So that was cool too. I think that that's amazing. But postpartum, it's different. Obviously, they're like taking care of lots of people. So,

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: anyways, she stayed in there. I actually had this like instinctual feeling. I was like, I just need to get out of the tub. Like I need to be upright more. I need to be using gravity. I think I and I also think I knew this is so intense. I just I want to do whatever I can to make it speed up. So

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: I was like, let's get out. full pressure on the cervix, just have gravity on my side. Cause the

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: tubs were deep. It was like up to my collarbones. I was like floating in there, which was amazing, but

Bridget: Yeah. Wow.

Sadie Larrabee: it was like not helpful for gravity. so I got out and I was kind of swaying, standing up. I was like, nope, that doesn't feel right. The what felt right was sitting in kind of like a froggy position, like sitting on my feet. And then my hands in between my legs, just leaning back and forth. So I was sitting upright,

Bridget: Yeah yeah hmm

Sadie Larrabee: but hands and knees a little bit.

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: my hands were right in between my legs, just rocking. Lots of rocking side to side, front to forward. That felt just amazing. Just moving my pelvis so my baby could make her way felt really good.

Bridget: Yeah. Do you know where your baby was at that point or no? what station?

Sadie Larrabee: No, but no. So my this is right at that time when I was doing that, my doctor came in and he was like, I just wanna check you, but this is probably the last check. As soon as your body starts pushing, you're probably fine. I just wanna make sure because apparently that they had seen a lot of women who prematurely push and they have like really swollen cervixes after. So he was like, I just like to make sure you're ready, but I won't check you again if you're close enough.

Bridget: Yeah. Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: So he checked me and he was like, You got a nine and a half. You have a slight lip on one side. So as soon as your body's pushing, you're good to go. And I was like,

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: Okay, thanks. Cause getting on my back to get checked was like hell on earth, honestly. I was like, No.

Bridget: Yeah, is the worst. Yes. Truly.

Sadie Larrabee: it, it makes you have another contraction. And when

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: you barely get a break anyways, you're like, no, I just, I just like I don't want to spend my break doing that.

Bridget: Yeah. It's so ho so rough.

Sadie Larrabee: So he checked me and I was so glad he said I didn't need to get checked again. I was like, okay. And then he left and he was like, they'll call me in once you're ready. And literally five minutes later, my body started pushing. And

Bridget: Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: my husband said it was so cool. He was like, I can see your stomach, like he's like, it was seriously

Bridget: Wow.

Sadie Larrabee: like the craziest thing I've ever seen. And I was that's cool that he thought that was cool. But he was saying,

Bridget: Yeah, I'm not.

Sadie Larrabee: like, my back would arch and it was like, you know, that kind of guttural grunting sound where it's like, whoa, I didn't even make that noise.

Bridget: Yeah. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: and I was vocalizing a lot before this. I was keeping it low, but I definitely

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: in transition was like loud, like low and loud.

Bridget: Mm. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: it just it just felt relieving. It like felt good to kind of like let sound out. But I listened

Bridget: Yeah, no it totally does. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: to your advice and was like really careful not to like get screamy or panicky or high pitched

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: or even with my breathing, I was trying not to be like, ha I was just like keeping it real low and that helped a lot. And

Bridget: Yeah, so good. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: so I started pushing and then I reached my hand down there and I could feel her head a little bit. Like not

Bridget: Wow.

Sadie Larrabee: like crowning, but like right up there, like right before

Bridget: Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: crowning. And I was like, my gosh, I feel her head. And I initially was like Wanting to push on hands and knees, but I was so of the world. I was like, I need to be on my side. I just need to like lay

Bridget: Mm. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: on my side. I definitely didn't want to push on my back, I was like raised lower the bed a little bit, but not all the way. And I'm gonna be on my side. And the nurses were amazing. I was like grabbing onto the thing and they were like, relax your hands. And that was like a super good

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: reminder, just like. Relax my eyebrows and my jaw, let it happen and don't like hang on for dear life kind of feeling. And so and

Bridget: Mm, mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: I'm not gonna lie, like it is very intense. Transition is not easy, but it is not

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: I don't think it needs to be like a traumatic thing. It's just super hard, and that's okay, because we can

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: do hard things and our bodies know how to do it, and it is normal pain. It is not unsafe, dangerous pain. So

Bridget: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: I think that's what everyone should ingrain in their brain is like this is supposed to happen. There's nothing wrong.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: You are safe. Like just because it hurts really bad doesn't mean that anything is wrong. that's what I see a lot with clients is like I'm so scared. I'm so scared and it's like seriously you this yes and so that's what I

Bridget: The fear, tension, pain. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: try to like ingrained the most with my clients is fear literally is gonna make everything go south. Like if

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: anything, fear clearing, fear clearing, fear clearing. Just like know

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: beforehand, like go into birth feeling like I am not scared at all. Like this is gonna

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: be great, no matter how it

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: turns out, even if I have to have a C-section, like being

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: educated enough on every Result of birth will make you feel at peace with whatever happens. Because if you don't know anything about a C-section, you're gonna be pretty panicked. But if you're like, I know how this goes, then you'll

Bridget: Mhm. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: understand and you'll be able to be at peace. I think that it's more the things that happen where it's like the women who say things were happening to my body that I was not aware of, Even minor medications, they're just like, Why are

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: you giving me this shot? I don't I don't understand. It's just a fear thing.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: So knowing why they do every medical intervention is so powerful.

Bridget: Yeah. Yeah. And being able to walk into birth because women aren't gonna be able to walk into birth knowing every single thing, but knowing how to ask the questions is going to help you make empowered decisions when you are in the unknown. And that's why using the acronym BRAIN is so helpful when you are met with decisions where you're like, I don't know about this one. It's like, okay, well, your provider is there not to tell you what to do, but to help you get the information so that you can make the ultimate decision as the authority figure of your own birth. And so,

Sadie Larrabee: Love that.

Bridget: yeah, I think, but you're exactly right. And that's why I say the more you learn, the less you fear, because truly, you know, I think a lot of women are like, I'm so afraid of the epidural. I'm so afraid of the C-section. And it's like, well, really what you're afraid of is the unknowns of it. And that's something that I had to come

Sadie Larrabee: Mm.

Bridget: to terms with for my first birth especially was Hey, I'm gonna do everything I can to prevent these things. I'm gonna learn about them. I'm gonna figure out what I can do to prevent them. I'm gonna learn about, if I need to get one, what it's gonna look like, and then how I can support myself afterward, how I can support myself after the epidural with movement and positioning and all that, or after the C section for healing, or after tearing and all of those things. And when you walk in, it's like what you said at the beginning, it's like I have 10 options. And because I know them. they're not scary anymore. yeah, I don't want a c section, of

Sadie Larrabee: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: course, but I'm okay if it happens because I'm gonna know that I did everything in my power to avoid that. And it's my baby needed to come out that way. And that's okay. And so I love that you said that and you're like really pointing out how much fear can control our birth decisions if we let it. And that's where childbirth education can help so much because it helps you build that knowledge and build that understanding But then also gives you the ability to, you know, where you're lacking understanding, you can ask in the moment, but also to have a support team around you who can do that and advocate for you and step in. And I love that, you know, you're a doula now, and that's something that you do for your clients is that you are helping them make those decisions in the moment. And I think that's so, so powerful. but I mean, I feel like you need to tell us we're like on a cliffhanger right now, waiting

Sadie Larrabee: Ha ha ha ha.

Bridget: for a baby to be born. So you're, transition, it's hard, but you're starting to feel the urge to push. Tell us the best part.

Sadie Larrabee: Yes. So my body's just pushing and then I lay on my side, doctor comes in. Obviously, all these people come in. And I remember for some reason this is something I really remember. There was a nurse who was there at the very beginning that I really liked. She was the one that like admitted us and I like, dang, like you're so fun. I wish you could be at my birth. Obviously everything is meant to be, because my nurse was amazing, but She was also really great and she had unmedicated births herself. So she was awesome.

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: So she came in for the pushing. I think she was the charge nurse. So she had to

Bridget: Okay.

Sadie Larrabee: be out doing stuff during my labor. But

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: they were like, look, she's back. And I remember not saying, but thinking, like, I do not care. Like, I

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: remember being like so in I guess like labor land where it's I'm not even on earth that like.

Bridget: Yeah. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: I couldn't speak full sentences. I remember being cold towel, wet, wet, cold towel. I couldn't even say, can someone get me a towel? It was like

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: wet, cold towel. I was sweating. It's like the shaky sweats, but you're also cold. Just all that stuff that

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: your body goes through in transition and pushing. so then he comes in. I'm on my side, one contraction, they're like, she's crowning. And I was like, For reels. I just think I was like a little bit shocked. And also, when I was kneeling up and my body started pushing, I it was almost like I had an X-ray vision into my own body. I could visually feel and see. I don't know if this makes sense, but I could like almost see her head coming down. That's how like

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: strong of a feeling I could feel, which I loved being able to feel that. Like

Bridget: Mm, mm.

Sadie Larrabee: That's what you don't get to feel if you're medicated, which isn't I'm not saying epidurals or being medicated is inherently bad, but you don't get to experience like I felt her head literally dropping down and it was so weird. It

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: was almost like I had a vision of seeing it. you're

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: just it's like the mind-body. You're so connected. And

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: so felt her coming down, and then that's when I felt her head. So then I go on my side, sh you're crowning. They're like, Do you feel the ring of fire? I didn't. Luckily, but I did not have any ring of fire situation. and so then the next push head out. I was like

Bridget: Wow.

Sadie Larrabee: so this is like all within five minutes. Like the first time my body started to kind of push was like maybe five minutes before this, like probably less. And then her head came out and then her body kind of just like flopped on out. It wasn't even like hard to push. Obviously, the head was like the hardest part. I did have some good tearing, and I'll talk about that, but just because of how fast it was, like I literally

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: I felt like I couldn't have tried to slow down. Like it

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: was just so crazy. And my mom actually was like two pushes for each kid. I don't know if that's why

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: I'm that way, but maybe the way. My mom's body and my body are very similar. So I'm like, maybe

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: the way my pelvis and vaginal canal are, it's like easy pushing, which I will take, but also

Bridget: Hm. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: tearing is no fun for recovery. but yeah, super easy pushing. I was shocked.

Bridget: Well

Sadie Larrabee: I remember the second her body came out, I was like, my gosh. Like it was like 10 out of 10 intensity to zero out of ten pain. Immediately no pain. So I like to say that because

Bridget: Wow. So amazing.

Sadie Larrabee: I'm like, it really is like you have the baby and you're

Bridget: It's wild.

Sadie Larrabee: done.

Bridget: Yeah. It is so wild. It's so crazy to feel, like you said, just this incredible maximum intensity. And then you have the baby and you're just like, okay. that's it. I'm done. You're exactly right. it's such

Sadie Larrabee: I was a little bit like the classic unmedicated thing where I needed to be like, wait. I needed to

Bridget: yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: check back to reality for a second. I couldn't even

Bridget: Absolutely.

Sadie Larrabee: cry of joy because I was so shocked a little bit. And

Bridget: Well, especially with that fast of a pushing stage that it's just like, Wait, she's here

Sadie Larrabee: Yeah. I'm like, holy. So she gets

Bridget: Ha.

Sadie Larrabee: I think the thing I was thinking of most was just like hearing her cry, hearing her cry. And she cried actually very quickly. Like pretty

Bridget: Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: much the she had a really short cord and she had a knot in her cord, which is kind of

Bridget: Okay.

Sadie Larrabee: a fun, interesting fact. But she came up to me and she o had her head kind of on my like breast stomach area because of her short cord. So she wasn't like quite on my chest. So I was holding her on my stomach and I just remember her crying and I was like, my gosh. And this is so embarrassing. But the f one of the first things I said was was I like looked at my husband and I was like, She's not ugly, she's so cute. Cause 'cause he always messed, he's very like he likes to joke with me a lot and he would always be like, We're gonna have the ugliest newborn. And I know he's joking, but it would bug me. I'm like, why do you keep saying that we're gonna have the most beautiful child? But he knew it kinda got a rise out of me, so he'd be like, no, she's gonna be alien. And so

Bridget: And you're like, thank God

Sadie Larrabee: Yes, I remember all the nurses just laughing because they were like, she's so materialistic

Bridget: That is so funny.

Sadie Larrabee: or whatever the word is. But I'm like, no, I wasn't worried about it. It was more just like, my gosh, she's so beautiful. And I also he

Bridget: Aw, mmm.

Sadie Larrabee: always joked about her having a cone head. No cone head. She was not she was not down there very long. so I

Bridget: Well yeah, she was No, she wasn't.

Sadie Larrabee: was like, She's so perfect. And then

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: I was most scared for getting stitches because you have to get the lidocaine shots unmedicated down there. But I will say

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: you are like releasing so much adrenaline from pushing that like you're still kind of numb down there. Like so much

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: just happened. It is not like getting shots when nothing has happened. Does that make sense? It's kind of like shock.

Bridget: Yeah, yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: Like, you know when break a bone and it like didn't hurt for the first like ten minutes because you're kind of in shock.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: It's like that where it's like the tissue down there is still in shock almost. so I

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: do that was something I was so fearful of. So I do want to

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: just encourage moms, if you have to get stitches unmedicated, it's okay. Like the shots

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: are the worst part and they're not that bad.

Bridget: Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: it it's like but I was shaking. I think part of it was my body just went through birth, but I also had a lot of fear in me of like vision envisioning a shot in my vagina. I was like,

Bridget: Yeah, yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: please, like, no. And sorry. I should say this too, because I remember I listened to a birth story where someone said delivering the placenta was terrible. And I just want to say it was not terrible. And most of the time it is not terrible. All my clients

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: say the same thing. Like it really, it kind of feels like satisfying. It's just like blah blah blah like flops out.

Bridget: It's just a weird feeling. And I think it's the idea. I think what's hard for women sometimes after birth is that they've already put so much work and effort into it. They're like, wait, something else has to come out of me. And so it's like, yeah, I have

Sadie Larrabee: I have to push again. Yeah.

Bridget: to push again. And like they they can't wrap their mind around like something soft exiting their body. So they're like, This is gonna not feel good. But you're right, most

Sadie Larrabee: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: of the time it's not like an issue. Usually it's just like, okay, like a few Pushes that aren't like crazy hard in your placenta usually comes out and it feels

Sadie Larrabee: Yeah.

Bridget: so weird. It just feels so weird, in my opinion.

Sadie Larrabee: It it's it's like a it it's similar to water breaking feeling where it's just something coming out but it doesn't really

Bridget: Hmm. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: like hurt or anything. It's just whoa, it's very floppy. It literally just feels like

Bridget: Yeah. It's so.

Sadie Larrabee: floppy, weird. But it was not hard at all. I remember he was like doing the what's it called? the fundal massage thing to make sure

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: it was detached. And then he I was like, Do I need to push? And it was actually really nice. He was like, I mean, you don't have to, or like just push like you're peeing, not hard, just release. And so

Bridget: Hmm, yeah, yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: I did that, came right out, and then was time where he was checking me for the stitches. That was probably I do I want to be honest, but I don't want moms to be like scared of this. But I'm like, the worst part was when he was checking me for stitches because they're kind of like stretching you and looking. I

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: will say though, my clients who have had midwives, they handle the situation down there much more gentle than I had.

Bridget: Yeah. Well, especially when you are having females do it. and that's one of the hard

Sadie Larrabee: Yes.

Bridget: things about having male providers. It's just they have no idea what it even feels like. And that's nothing against them. It's just that they don't have the same body as us. And so

Sadie Larrabee: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: I feel like it is different when you've had a female provider who knows exactly what that sensation is like. So yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: Yeah. And I mean, I've heard of some male OBs who are like very gentle touch too, but I think majority

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: is like they're just trying to get the job done. He had a family barbecue to get to. Goodness, he he had to go. Honestly, part of me was like

Bridget: Hmm. Yeah, it's true. I hope he made it.

Sadie Larrabee: like I that was my biggest like annoyance was like, Really your family barbecue. Like just go.

Bridget: I know, man. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: I should have I don't know, he he wanted to make the money from that probably, which and not to like in a bad way, that's his job. I think he wanted to be

Bridget: Yeah. That's his job.

Sadie Larrabee: there, so there we go. But so he ch when he was like kind of stretching me and looking for the tearing, that was like the I think I remember I was like totally mentally sound again and I was kinda like laughing, but I was like, hey I was like, hey,

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: like can you be a little gentle down there? Like I was kind of joking

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: with him. And he was like laughing. And I think it was a funny moment of me being like, I'm joking, but not joking. this is

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: like I don't have an epidural. You know that, right? I can feel what you're doing. And so then

Bridget: Yeah, yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: I did have a second degree perennial tear. And then I had a minor periurethral tear. That was not not fun.

Bridget: Mm. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: That was not fun. but everything turns out okay. It's gonna be okay. But I just was

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: like, I I don't The way he did it, it wasn't like how many stitches. It was the type of stitches where it's just like they sew it basically. So I I can't say how many I had.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: but I mean it's second degree perennial. And then he had to do some like minor stitching on the periurethral. So I don't know what degree that was, because I remember

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: asking him like, 'cause I know sometimes with first degree you don't need stitching. And so I was like, hey, like if I don't need it, just don't do it. And he was like, No, you need it. So I actually don't know what it was and I

Bridget: Okay. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: think it it was good I didn't know, but for the

Bridget: And how was the recovery with that? How what did you do? How long did it take to kind of feel better? Just for moms listening who are probably worried about that same thing.

Sadie Larrabee: for the healing after, I think it was It was pretty intense. I had to put my boppy on my car chair because it really hurt to sit down. I wanted

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: to go home so bad. This is one thing I'm like birthing centers or home births are so great because you're j you can just leave quickly or you're already home. You're just like, get me in my bed. Hospital beds are not very comfortable. Also, life hack. My mother-in-law is a nurse. She's a postpartum nurse, so she's like dealing with this stuff all the time.

Bridget: Amazing.

Sadie Larrabee: And she came in and I like my sitting on that bed hurt so bad. I was like, what is wrong with this bed? It's like as hard as the floor. And she was like, the in the seat inflation is all the way inflated. I did not know hospital beds had the inflation

Bridget: yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: thing. So make sure that that thing is turned down so that

Bridget: Softer, yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: it's not like you're sitting on a hard ball. Like it was like blown up all the way. So it was not soft.

Bridget: Yeah, yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: So it took about like I think after two weeks I could like tell the stitches were dissolving. I was

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: religious with like peri bottle like stool softeners. I

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: took those religious I think I took them all six weeks because I was like so afraid of something re-ripping or something. I don't know. I was just like

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: This is crazy. So definitely those help. I I definitely do not recommend painkillers. They cause constipation. And that is like World War Three if you're if you have any tearing. Like you do not want to be constipated. So like

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: if possible, just do like the ibuprofen that they give you. Don't don't take like the painkillers, in my opinion, unless it's like if you don't need them. Yes.

Bridget: Yeah, if you don't need them, but there are definitely situations where it's important to manage that pain, yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: Of course. I'm more just saying if it's manageable with ibuprofen, stick with that because

Bridget: Yeah. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: even ibuprofen is a little bit constipation inducing, but

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: the narcotics and stuff are intensely constipation inducing. So just have that in your mind. But

Bridget: Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: it took about I think after four weeks I was like, I feel good. Like

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: I feel really good. six weeks I was like totally fine, which is awesome because with like very intense tearing. I know it can take like up to six weeks to feel totally fine. But for like second

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: degree, what I experienced in my personal experience was that after about two weeks the stitches were like dissolved and I felt a little less fearful of something like re breaking or something. And then

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: after four weeks I was like fine. Like I didn't have to sit on a pillow in the car anymore. And

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: I just was like, Yeah, we're good.

Bridget: Yeah. And everyone's experience is so individual. And so I love,

Sadie Larrabee: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: the tips that you bring up that moms can use. But also if for moms listening, if your experience is different than Sadie's, it's okay to take as long as you need to feel better and feel like yourself. And I think this is when it's so especially helpful to go see a public floor therapist is afterbirth. And especially if you've

Sadie Larrabee: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: experienced any kind of tearing or a C-section, that's when getting that individualized support and plan as you move forward can help you feel like yourself so much faster and and easier. but yeah, tearing

Sadie Larrabee: That is very true.

Bridget: tearing is challenging, but it's it's a bump in the road and you know, life is full of bumps

Sadie Larrabee: Yeah.

Bridget: and you get over it. And that's when Again, you put a plan in place where you're like, I'm gonna do everything I can to avoid this. But if this happens, I'm also creating a plan so that I'm supported. If it does and I'm not just

Sadie Larrabee: Yes.

Bridget: hanging up there, high and dry, like what do I do? So there are so many things that we can do

Sadie Larrabee: Yeah. And I definitely I really do recommend getting like those postpartum kits that have all the things like

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: I just did the Freedom Mom one. Actually, my friend gave birth before me. She had no tearing and she's like, I literally didn't need this. So she gave it to me, which was like, in hindsight, the best gift. And knowing how much I loved

Bridget: So great.

Sadie Larrabee: it, I would have bought it because I'm I mean, know it's like 80 bucks or something. But seriously, it is so comforting having a system. When you're in

Bridget: If you use it, then you're like, This is the best. Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: that much pain after for like days, you're like, I want all the things to load up in

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: my diaper and like feel I like the cooling pads. It's just like you want

Bridget: Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: it to stay very moist so it can heal well. And

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: so that is something I'm like, most moms probably know that, but I do feel like I want to make sure that they know. Spend the money on that if you can,

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: because it is like you are you're recovering, when you have stitches, that's like a wound. You're you're literally healing with a wound,

Bridget: Hmm. yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: so you need to do what you can to take care of it. and

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: then I do want to shed some light on this because I know we're probably finishing up here, but I had pretty intense postpartum anxiety that I did not really anticipate because normally I don't struggle with that. I'm very like chill and happy. And so I

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: was like not ready. And in for me, it was I was happy, not it I wasn't depressed. I was anxious though. It was in the form of like I could barely sleep thinking my baby was gonna stop breathing and die. Like it was kind

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: of like the really intense intrusive thoughts of like while someone was holding my baby, me thinking like, my gosh, they're gonna like trip and she's gonna fly into the wall. really

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: intense, intrusive thoughts that I would just like I cried a lot. I had a lot of like my husband, I could not even take a shower without her being like in something in the bathroom. So I could see her. I remember my husband being like, let's go in the kitchen. She's in her bassinet. She's safe. And I remember breaking down, like, no, I have to

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: see her at all times. I have to see her. So then I started using the baby monitor. That saved my life a little bit because I could finally like breathe and not have to like seriously be standing over her. I could like go in the kitchen, but I had the peace of mind of seeing her and being like,

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: She's fine, I can see her. Cause for me personally, just purging myself and being like, Nope, just push through the anxiety and go in the kitchen. I I couldn't do it. I was like, I

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: don't think and of course my husband meant well by that, but I think I think he was just trying to help. you got this, she's fine. But I was

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: like, I need something that's gonna be reassuring. So for me, that was little steps. I would take a shower while I was watching her on the like I put the monitor on the toilet so I could see

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: it from the shower. Just step by step, because I think a lot of times when you have anxiety, you have this feeling like I need to just not be anxious, but you can't. Like you just feel so

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: anxious. So I think it doesn't matter if people think that you're being too much or like a worry wart. If you need to like have a monitor and that gives you freedom of life with anxiety, do it. Obviously,

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: I think you should like work through it and It's not forever. you sh go to therapy and try to get through that because it really does go away. But for me, it probably lasted like a few months because first

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: time mom, I'm like every stage is like scary and new. Breastfeeding made

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: it even worse because my baby kept not hitting the numbers at pediatrician appointments. I was very

Bridget: Hm.

Sadie Larrabee: stressed. I was like, they were like, just give her a formula. And I was like, no, I want to breastfeed for 12 months. Like I really, really want

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: to do this. my mother in law is amazing and she actually paid for a private IBCLC to come to my house and help me, which I think was like a hundred and thirty bucks. So it's like not cheap, but it was super

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: that's like a gift you could give to someone. If you like want to

Bridget: Yeah, absolutely.

Sadie Larrabee: give a big gift, give someone like an at home IBCLC visit if they're struggling with

Bridget: Uh-huh.

Sadie Larrabee: breastfeeding or like an at home postpartum doula, just something,

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: something like that. Like that's a great gift idea for someone who struggles with postpartum anxiety or depression. Cause really more than anything, you just want to feel like you can think about anything else but your baby dying or something. that's

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: truly it's truly how it is. You're just like, are they gonna be okay every day? And in hindsight, you're like, babies are so resilient. as long as you're following the safety protocols and doing

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: things right, Babies are amazing. They they

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: really they really are and they're very resilient. But

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: I don't think that that means moms won't be anxious. So

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: I hope with my next baby, now that I've gone through it, I can be a little bit I know what helps me. But now I'm like totally not anxious. I'm totally back to normal. And I'm a year postpartum,

Bridget: Hmm, amazing.

Sadie Larrabee: so that it has been some time. But I

Bridget: Yeah

Sadie Larrabee: do just I just wanted to shed light on that because it's obviously so normal. I think it's like one in two at this point, one in

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: two moms experience postpartum an like pro anxiety or depression or both.

Bridget: Yeah, yeah. I it is so prevalent. And I think one of the best things that moms, and I love that you're sharing that because one of the best things that moms can do is voicing that, especially to other moms. Like I remember I was having a conversation with another mom who had had a baby around the same time that I did. And I had never dealt with anxiety or intrusive thoughts with my other kids, but I had my third baby and we were sitting watching our kids play, and I was just like, Man, I've just been really having so many intrusive thoughts. And she was like, she looked at me and she was like, I have two. And it was just this like

Sadie Larrabee: And then

Bridget: relief off my shoulders. Like I was like, I didn't even know I needed to share that information. Cause like I know what it is. I know it's postpartum anxiety. I know it's my hormones. I know I'm not sleeping enough. I we are biologically

Sadie Larrabee: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: wired to be worried for our babies. I'm not like eating the best, you know, because we have so many other things. So I like know what it is. I know what's going on. And so I didn't want to put too much in the basket of being like, What is this thing like? I have to heal it. I have to get better. I have to I was like, it's gonna be I know it's gonna be okay. And just but I was carrying that and like sharing that with another mom was just like I can breathe again. I'm not the only one who is dealing with this. And so if you can find someone who you trust, whether that's a mom friend, whether that's your own mom or your mother-in-law, or if it needs to be a therapist that you hire, like I feel like we're in a day and age where we do have to kind of hire our village. And, you know, we have to pay for that because we don't always have the the support at our fingertips that we should have. but know that you don't have to suffer in silence and that it can get better with time, but there are so many resources at your disposal that can help you get there faster. And so I love that you brought that up. And I want you to wrap up our time here together with just giving one piece of encouragement or advice to the moms who are listening to your story.

Sadie Larrabee: should have really nailed down what I was gonna say for this part. I think that okay.

Bridget: You've had so many moments of wisdom along the way. So I feel like you could say anything at this point and it's gonna be great.

Sadie Larrabee: thank you. Okay, I think my biggest I'm gonna say two, but they're fast. My biggest two things are knowledge is power, knowledge is confidence, education. So what do you always say? You always say something, what is it, like education? Yes.

Bridget: more you learn, the less you fear, or do I say, knowledge is power? What are all the things I say?

Sadie Larrabee: Yes, all of things along that line, like the more you know,

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: seriously, like in I could like tell you ten reasons why educating yourself is gonna set you up for success, not even just for like the mental clarity, but also for your body and just like for the experience you're ultimately gonna have. Like the more you know, you're not just gonna learn everything and then not have goals. Like

Bridget: Mm, mm.

Sadie Larrabee: When you learn things, you're like, I totally love this, don't love this, I want to try this, I wanna not do this. it just, it just opens up all of your options. But when you don't know,

Bridget: Mm. Hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: you truly are robbing yourself of options. So that's

Bridget: Yeah, wow.

Sadie Larrabee: my my big one. And then the next one is movement is improvement, motion is lotion.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: just in your pregnancy, even with pelvic pain or anything, if you're not like able to do what you did before, Keep the mobility going, keep that going on because in labor you truly, if you've never done a deep squat and then you're like, I'm gonna try this in labor, not gonna happen.

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: you just need to like honestly like practice your labor. Do all the

Bridget: Yeah.

Sadie Larrabee: positions and you it doesn't have to be like a task. Literally, while you're watching your show, just do that on the

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Sadie Larrabee: floor, lean forward a lot. Like just I think

Bridget: Mm.

Sadie Larrabee: knowing a lot about movement is good. So N knowledge and movement.

Bridget: I love it. And those are such practical steps that moms can take. there's so much that we can't control when it comes to birth, but those are two things we can do. We can move our bodies, no matter what c what kind of pregnancy you're in, even women who are like bed bound, there are things that they can do in bed that can help create mobility

Sadie Larrabee: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: in their body. there's access to so much childbirth education. There's, I have a YouTube channel where everything's free. I have a free mini birth class, and then I have a super

Sadie Larrabee: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: comprehensive program. And there's other ones out there that are like mine. And so there's those are two actionable things that moms can do. So I love that you brought those up. And I just love that you've shared your story. Again, you had such a unique perspective because now you're on the other side as Adula, who is working with clients, able to reflect on your own birth. And so I think you gave so many good tidbits along the way. as you were sharing your birth. So Sadie, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your birth story and your just experience being welcomed into motherhood. It's been so great listening to it.

Sadie Larrabee: thank you so much. Seriously, my life changed when I did the Built to Birth course. Like my career,

Bridget: No.

Sadie Larrabee: my life, my birth. So thank you so much.

Bridget: That's amazing. I love it. mama. I so hope you enjoyed listening to Sadie's birth story. I know I did. We connected on so many things, and I hope you are walking away with a pocket full of encouragement and advice and things that you want to do in your own birth because of what Sadie shared in her own birth story. If you want to be prepared for your labor and birth just like Sadie was, then check out builttobirth.com where you can check out the birth course, the full program, or start by taking the free mini birth class. Thanks for being with me in this episode and I will see you in the next one.