My UNMEDICATED VBAC After an Emergency C-Section | Ep 26: Dana's Birth Story

Dana Blake: it was a fast labor and I was going completely natural and everything was really great but I just kept feeling like something feels different this time. I'm not sure what's going on. but I was like, I'm just psyching myself out, like it's fine, everything's fine. Finally I got to like nine centimeters and I just told the nurse, something feels different. Like it feels like my hips are being pushed this way. so they checked one more time and he was breach. they didn't have protocols at that hospital for delivering breach.

Bridget: Welcome to the Built to Birth podcast. I'm Bridget Tyler. In today's podcast, we are listening to Dana's birth story. She is a built-to-birth mama with five babies and a wealth of wisdom and knowledge when it comes to pregnancy and birth and just motherhood in general. I'm so excited to walk through A little bit of each experience as she grew from being a first-time mom to now being a fifth time mom and all of the births that happened in between. I can't wait to dive into this birth story with you. So let's get started. Welcome, Dana. I'm so excited to have you on the podcast. Why don't you start by sharing a little bit about yourself, your family, where you're at in the world, just so that we get to know you a little bit better.

Dana Blake: Thank you so much. I'm so excited to get to meet you. my name's Dana Blake. I live in Utah currently with my husband and our five kids. They're ages 10 or sorry, 12, 10, 5, 2, and almost three months old. And we also have a dog named Caspian. He's very sweet.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Dana Blake: I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I love singing and doing community theater with my family.

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: we love being outside spending time in the mountains here.

Bridget: I love it. Five kids is a big family. did you grow up in a big family? What about your husband?

Dana Blake: we both grew up in pretty big families. We're both from families of five. when we were dating, we talked about it and said we both wanted a pretty big family. And we had two kids and I was like, this is a lot, this is hard, maybe maybe just one more. But then we actually struggled to get pregnant again and had a couple of miscarriages and my mindset kind of completely shifted to like from this is hard, I don't know how much more I want to do, to I will take every baby that is mine. I will take every baby that I can get. so I don't know if we're done yet. We're we don't feel like we're done. We feel like there's at least one more baby waiting for us somewhere. we really, especially myself, felt like motherhood went from being a hard thing and like still wonderful but like so hard to now something that I appreciate more how much of a blessing it is that I'm able to have children and that I wanna keep doing that.

Bridget: Hmm, I love that. Yeah, there's something about experiencing loss and having a a challenge to get pregnant that really changes your perspective on motherhood and pregnancy and just all of the hard things. It really creates like

Dana Blake: Okay.

Bridget: I think a sense of gratitude that is hard to understand when you haven't walked through. you know, infertility or just like a hard time getting pregnant or experiencing miscarriage. I know trying to get pregnant with my first daughter, Callie, we spent over a year getting, you know, trying. And I just remember feeling so grateful for the hard things in my pregnancy with her because I was like, I waited what felt like forever to have you. and

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: so it just it really does shift your perspective. And I love that perspective that you're sharing with just like I will take as many of these babies that I can get because they are such blessings and like they're they just bring so much light and love into your life. but I mean every parent is different too. So you know whether you have one or two or five or ten kids, you know, everyone's

Dana Blake: Yeah.

Bridget: capacity is different and every kid is a blessing, whether you have, like I said, one or ten of them. And so I love that though.

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: I came from a family of six. I was the youngest and I loved being number six. So if you do have another another one, then you'll

Dana Blake: Hey.

Bridget: have a a little sixth baby who's gonna love being the baby of the family and just kind of having everyone wrapped around their finger. Which if

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: my family listens to this, they're gonna be like, I can't believe she said that.

Dana Blake: Ha ha

Bridget: But I know from hearing a little bit about your story before that you had two babies and then you took the built-to-birth course and then you you know did the built-to-birth course for the the your last three babies. kind

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: of tell me what you experienced in your first two pregnancies that kind of what made you go on this journey of looking for more childbirth education for your following three.

Dana Blake: Yeah. so I with my first baby, I was pretty young. I was twenty one when he was born, and I was kinda just flying by the seat of my pants. I was just taking it as it came.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Dana Blake: and I did take a birth course through the hospital, but it was a lot less about how to prepare mentally for childbirth and more what to expect in the hospital.

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: And so I kind of just went with whatever the doctors told me. And it honestly wasn't a great experience. I had an older doctor who, through a series of circumstances, was like the only one on call for two hospitals at the same time. So he was not very patient.

Bridget: Yeah. Well how could you?

Dana Blake: Right. And so that one wasn't my favorite experience, but I was so glad to have my baby.

Bridget: Mm-hmm, of course.

Dana Blake: but Then with my second baby, I was kind of looking for other things. And I had a friend who was older than me, and she had just had her eighth baby. And she suggested I try hypno babies. So I tried that. And overall it was a good experience, but I felt like there was just something missing. It wasn't quite what I'd been looking for. And so I was looking for other options for my third baby. And I think actually my husband might have found your videos on YouTube when he was trying to help me look at options. And he's like, you should check out this lady. She seems nice.

Bridget: Ha ha

Dana Blake: and I loved everything that you had on your YouTube. So I checked out your course and decided to go for it. And it was such a huge help. And

Bridget: Hmm.

Dana Blake: that was actually a really interesting labor. So I went into labor at like midnight, which is my favorite. but it was a fast labor and I was going completely natural and everything was really great until but I just kept feeling like something feels different this time. I'm not sure what's going on. So but I was like, I'm just psyching myself out, like it's fine, everything's fine. Finally I got to like nine centimeters and I just told the nurse, I'm like, something feels different. Like it feels like my hips are being pushed this way. What's going on? And so Yeah. And

Bridget: Yeah. From like the inside out. Yeah.

Dana Blake: so they checked one more time and he was breach. And and

Bridget: my goodness, wow.

Dana Blake: they didn't have protocols at that hospital for delivering breach. so I'm really grateful for my doctor. He knew I wanted natural. He knew everything. So we worked together and came up with a plan. We tried to turn the baby but he did it in the OR just in case something wasn't going well because my water hadn't broken yet. And so he was worried that the umbilical cord might get pinched if my water broke while they were spinning the baby. And it did, but I was already prepped. And so they were able to do a C section and take care of him right away. So

Bridget: Gotcha. Okay, so you do the whole labor, find out he's breached at nine centimeters, and then

Dana Blake: Yes.

Bridget: a quick cesarean section.

Dana Blake: Yeah.

Bridget: Wow. And as you reflect on that birth experience, what are your thoughts with that? Like are you grateful for that? Are you Yeah.

Dana Blake: I mean, obviously I was a little bit annoyed that it happened. But really grateful and I still felt like the preparation that I did with using the meditations and learning about the different options and things really helped me to stay calm through that because I'm honestly really scared of surgery. Like,

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: it's kind of terrifying to me.

Bridget: Yeah, absolutely.

Dana Blake: and So being awake through a surgery, even though I had pain medication, was really scary. But I was able to continue doing the breathing techniques and everything. And I was able to ask to do skin to skin with my baby after the C-section because I didn't even know that was an option, but you spoke about it in your course. And

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: we didn't do it for very long because I was having trouble holding him in that like completely flat position.

Bridget: Yeah. No, it's tricky.

Dana Blake: But I was able to hold him for a little bit until I was ready to get back in my bed.

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: and overall it was still an empowering experience and I was excited to do it again the next time.

Bridget: Yeah. Well, I mean, that's wild too, because it's like you still had an entire labor leading up to that. You just

Dana Blake: Mm.

Bridget: didn't have the vaginal birth, you know. So I feel like most moms, when their baby is in a breach position, they know much longer before they have their birth. And so, you know, it's a

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: thirty seven, thirty eight, thirty nine week induction, or not induction, but planned cesarean.

Dana Blake: Mm.

Bridget: Whereas for you it was, okay, we're gonna we're gonna do the labor, which honestly is better for your baby because it shows that they're ready for birth, you know, versus the planned caesarean where we're forcing

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: babies out prematurely. And so it was probably, you know, better for them that you were able to labor and they received all of those hormones that you were giving the baby, you know, with the oxytocin and all that and the endorphins.

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: And so, you know.

Dana Blake: And my milk came in right away and all of that.

Bridget: Yeah, yeah. Wow, but that's definitely a whirlwind for sure.

Dana Blake: Yes.

Bridget: so then your fourth and fifth babies were V-BACs.

Dana Blake: Yes.

Bridget: what was your experience with your providers and your birth prep that led you to those experiences? And then briefly share your first your fourth birth, and then I want to focus on your your fifth baby.

Dana Blake: Mm. So I, you know, doing research and stuff, I found out that V back was possible. and I found out that my doctor that had delivered my previous baby and taken good care of us was willing to try for a V back as well. so that was a big, a big blessing. And

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: he said, one of the things that he said was, because you've already had a baby before, and the reason for your last C-section was that your baby was breach. That tells me that your body can do vaginal and so it's not as risky to try as it would be

Bridget: Yeah.

Dana Blake: is, you know, if the issue before was your baby just like wasn't fitting or Yeah.

Bridget: getting stuck somewhere or where yeah, absolutely. Which even that I have qualms with. But, you

Dana Blake: Right.

Bridget: know, there's so much we can do with your body in pregnancy and during labor to assist when, you know, previously

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: baby got stuck or, you know, there's a presumed small pelvis. But you're absolutely right that because you've already had vaginal births and it was just because of the breach presentation that you needed the C section

Dana Blake: Okay.

Bridget: that would I can see why that would make your provider say, like, yes, I'm I'm comfortable with attempting this feedback. Yeah.

Dana Blake: Yes. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so I was really grateful for that. And I was intending to go fully natural for that one as well. I ended up asking for the epidural. And part of me's disappointed that I did, but part of me's also just, you know, it it is what it is, and things were just flowing that

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Dana Blake: way. We ended up driving to the hospital later than I would have liked because I was waiting for my daughter to get back from dance so that I could say goodbye to her because she was for whatever reason feeling really scared, like

Bridget: Hm.

Dana Blake: I'm you know, you're gonna be gone and I'm not gonna see you and what if it's longer like last time last time you said two days, but then it was five days and all of these things. so I waited longer than I should have

Bridget: Hmm, yeah. Yeah. And as you have more kids, you have to like it's not just the birth you're planning for, it's like all of the lives of your kids and like

Dana Blake: Yes.

Bridget: all the things that are going on for them that you have to like take into consideration. And so that adds an element of like stress and just like another thing that you're thinking of.

Dana Blake: Yes.

Bridget: but you said that that's what had made you leave for the hospital later than you intended.

Dana Blake: Yes, and we ended up driving in a snowstorm, so that was a little stressful.

Bridget: my gosh. Yes, that's so stressful.

Dana Blake: so thankfully we got there safe, everything was fine, but I had just you know, I was already in transition when we got there and just kind of lost my my sense of calm and my flow and I was really having trouble getting it back and so I ended up asking for the upper dural and that helped me to calm back down because then I couldn't feel it anymore.

Bridget: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And you know, and epidurals are tools. And sometimes it's like not even, it's like it is for our mental state because our mental state and our body, they're so intertwined, especially when it comes to labor and birth. And, you know, I always tell that to moms, I'm like, you don't want to walk away from this experience saying, I did it unmedicated, but I was so panicked the whole time, or I was so scared the whole time, you know, or just having negative feelings around that. And so it's like if you get to the end of it saying, well, I regained like my ability to be calm and to focus and to be present, then it's like maybe it was worth it to get it, you know? in hindsight is

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Bridget: always 2020 and it's like easy to be like, I wish I didn't get it then. But clearly there was a need that you recognized in the moment where you're like, no, even though I'm in transition and I'm close to the finish line, like I I need more support,

Dana Blake: Yeah. So in retrospect, I wish maybe I had thought to ask for something a step lower than an epidural. But

Bridget: Yeah.

Dana Blake: the the result was that I was able to calm down. I was able to think clearly and my baby or my body was able to relax and baby came

Bridget: Yeah.

Dana Blake: pretty quick after that. And so that was good, but this time, There was a part of me that was like, I was so close. Like, I could have done it if I had calmed down. And so I decided to really dive back into your course this time and like make sure I watched every single thing and do all of the meditations and really practice

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: finding that stillness in myself and teaching my body to relax. that I was ready to try again. And if it didn't work, you know, it didn't work. But I found a provider. I I wanted to do midwives this time. the

Bridget: What made you want to do midwives this time?

Dana Blake: I was hoping for an even more relaxed kind of natural aspect. my doctor was really great last time, but the nurses that were attending were You know, they just weren't contributing to a relaxing environment very much. And part of that was

Bridget: Hm.

Dana Blake: that I was already so far into labor, but you know, they were like, you know, pushing on my stomach with the monitors to try and get them in the right place and trying to put in an IV just in case and all of these things, and I didn't enjoy that very much. Yes. I th

Bridget: And that's when you're in transition. Yeah. And that's so hard.

Dana Blake: One of the hospitals nearby recently kind of switched to almost a birth center kind of situation where they have water birth tubs and they have midwives and all of these things. So I was really excited to have that experience. but that hospital doesn't have the safeguards in place where they will allow VBACs at that hospital. So I found that out after I had started at this practice. I was really disappointed, but they had

Bridget: Yeah, that is disappointing.

Dana Blake: an OBG as part of their practice that could deliver at another hospital. And I started meeting with him and he was fantastic. he

Bridget: Hmm. Amazing.

Dana Blake: he's like, there's a reason that I as an OBG chose to work with a midwife practice. Like I really believe that women should have more autonomy in childbirth and be able to have a peaceful experience that they are the ones in charge of. And so that was really validating for me to have a doctor that I didn't feel the need to push back against it all.

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: I guess that you know, my other doctor was supportive, but I had to kind of advocate for myself when I said I wanted something different than a traditional hospital birth. and he was super nice about it, but this doctor was like, yes, let's do it. Tell me everything you want and we'll make it happen as much as possible. so that was awesome.

Bridget: That's amazing. Yeah. There's such a, I feel like that's a common thread with women who experience like really empowering pregnancies and births is that they have a provider that they're very aligned with. And I feel like that's one of the

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: things, like first things that I talk about in the Built to Birth course because I'm like, you know, you can have all of these plans set in place. But if you don't have a provider that you are aligned with. then it's going to feel like this battle, this tug of war that makes it like,

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: yes, you might get what you want at the end, but it might have been like that battle was so stressful to get you to that finish line and that victory that it just was like, you know, was it worth it? And of course it is worth it. But

Dana Blake: Absolutely.

Bridget: when you have a provider and you experience that alignment and just that trust and relationship that's built, it can make such a difference. in your pregnancy and how like confident you are in yourself and your body and your baby. And then of course in your labor and birth, you know, when you are when you are getting what you have been talking about for so long and you feel like you're on the same page with your provider. It makes such a difference.

Dana Blake: It does. so even with how amazing he was, I was still considering like maybe I do a home birth this time and find a midwife

Bridget: Hm, okay.

Dana Blake: to do it at home, you know, maybe I look into that. And I was actually really close to it, but my doctor's office said we weren't able to see everything as clearly as we wanted to on your twenty week scan.

Bridget: Hmm.

Dana Blake: can you go to the hospital where they have better sonographers and just get one more scan to To look at those things we weren't able to see. And so I said, I'll do the this last scan and then if I if everything looks good, I'll switch to a home birth kind of route. but they found some issues with his umbilical cord in that scan. it was a scary few days while the hospital near me got in touch with the children's hospital about an hour away. To try and figure out everything that was going on and what the next steps needed to be. And thankfully the specialists were a lot less worried than the doctors down here were. But I felt like because there was the potential for some things to go really, really wrong, that I wanted to stay with a hospital setting so that if there were an emergency. He could get the care he needed as quickly as possible.

Bridget: I think that's the beauty of having like different options is that a

Dana Blake: Mm.

Bridget: hospital is a really great place to give birth when you know there are going to be medical needs that need to be met. And so that's why, you know, we say home birth isn't for everyone. I'm not out there ever being like every woman needs to have a home birth because, you know, that's just not the case and that won't keep every mom and baby safe. and so

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: that's great that as you are exploring your options. you came to a place where you're like, No, a hospital birth is gonna be the best and safest place for me.

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm. And so I was really grateful that my doctor, you know, while acknowledging the the risks that we were facing, that he didn't like jump in and completely take the reins and say, You have no more options, you have to have this, this, and this. He was really patient and willing to talk with me for a long time over multiple visits about, you know, here's Here's this risk, and here's how I would suggest you address it. but he did a fantastic job of helping me come up with like a stepwise approach to interventions, to pain management, to everything. He's like, the more detailed your plan is, the more it will help us take care of you. and then also during this time. he was asked to transfer to a different hospital. So

Bridget: no.

Dana Blake: to the hospital that wouldn't take V-BACs. but he's like, I will

Bridget: No, such a bummer.

Dana Blake: stay your doctor, but I'm not gonna be able to be the one delivering. So he helps me schedule an induction with a doctor who shares his viewpoints about, you know, letting women have as much autonomy as possible and listening a lot. So I was really grateful for that. But then I ended up going into labor a week before the induction was scheduled anyways. My odd

Bridget: When was your induction scheduled? What week was it scheduled for?

Dana Blake: thirty nine weeks.

Bridget: Okay, so you go into spontaneous labor around thirty eight weeks then. Okay. So tell us that tell us the story.

Dana Blake: Yes. So so I had a my kids were in a play and I was just like, I just hope that I go into labor w after the play is done.

Bridget: Ha ha ha.

Dana Blake: so the second night of the play I was having like false labor all day, pro drum pro dromal labor.

Bridget: And what did that feel like?

Dana Blake: and like it felt it felt like early labor and it never progressed and the contractions weren't really following a pattern. sometimes they'd be eight minutes apart, sometimes they'd be twenty minutes apart, and they were never falling into a pattern, and they were never getting intense enough that I felt the need to do any more than like, okay, don't talk to me for a second. but I was able to

Bridget: And were you feeling them like all around your belly? Were you feeling them like low in your belly or in your back? Where were where were those sensations coming from?

Dana Blake: I feel like it was mostly in my back and my upper belly.

Bridget: Okay.

Dana Blake: but I noticed that I didn't feel anything in my pelvic floor.

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: it didn't really feel like there was any like stretching or warmth or anything down there that I've noticed before with other more intense contractions.

Bridget: Yeah.

Dana Blake: But I went to the play that night and was talking to my friend who was sitting by me, and she mentioned that she had had had that happen for a full week with one of her pregnancies. When she found a new doctor, the next time her doctor said that that can be from a magnesium deficiency.

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: so I looked it up when I went home, did some research. Some people said magnesium will make your contraction stop, some people said it will make it turn into real labor. but all of it was coming from sources that I felt like were reliable sources. And I had magnesium supplements at home, so I was like, well, I'll just take some. And

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Dana Blake: And you know, either it'll stop or I'll get a baby. So either way it'll

Bridget: Yeah.

Dana Blake: be great. And so the contraction stopped and I was able to sleep. I was like, great, that worked. And then the next

Bridget: Ha ha

Dana Blake: day started having contractions again, but I felt like they were forming a pattern. I felt hormonally different in my body. There was kind of a quiet intensity, which is the best way I can describe it, where it felt like

Bridget: Yes.

Dana Blake: I think this is actually happening.

Bridget: Mm-hmm. And that's always

Dana Blake: so

Bridget: so hard because that's I feel like the question moms, especially first-time moms, are like, how am I going to

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: know? And it's so interesting because even with like predromal labor, I feel like moms can feel like, is this happening? Like, I'm not sure. Like this feels like the beginning of labor. But then when labor truly begins, there's this distinct like feeling and knowing, like, no, that wasn't it before, that's it now.

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: and I always tell that to first time moms too. I'm like, you're just you're going to know. There's going to be something in you that is like, like each time you might be feeling like, is this it? Maybe. And then when you step into true labor, there is just this like deep knowing of like, no, this is different from before. This is the real thing.

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: And it is just like, it's such like a hard thing to communicate because they're like, but what does it feel like?

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: How am I going to know for sure? And it's like, You're just gonna know. I hate saying that to you, but really you're just gonna have to wait and see and feel it for yourself.

Dana Blake: Yes. so I I ended up finding my son a ride to the play. I called my aunt who doesn't live far away and said, Can you go to the play tonight so he has someone there to watch him? And then about ten minutes after someone else picked him up to take him to school, my contractions slowed down, that kind of hormonal urgency

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: feeling slowed down. And, you know, I know that it's normal to have a lull. between the kind of three stages of labor. But I decided to just go to the play and see. It's only the school's only like two minutes from my house. So I felt like that was a safe,

Bridget: Yeah.

Dana Blake: safe thing. but when we got there, the contractions picked up again. So I was just kind of trying to breathe really quietly in my chair in the dark and like right.

Bridget: As you're watching this play, that's great.

Dana Blake: kind of timing contractions on my phone. And at about intermission, I looked down. And contractions had been eight minutes apart for an hour. And I was like, Honey, we need to go. It's time to go. And so you know, I went out during intermission, found the dressing room, and just like waved to my son, and then I we drove home and while my husband was getting the bags in the car, I felt again that hormonal shift where it got It's so hard to describe, but it felt

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: like a kind of like a wave. Like I I don't know. I always feel like labor to me equates to feeling like I'm in the ocean.

Bridget: Hmm.

Dana Blake: and felt like kind of like a warm wave kind of go over my body and just like a shift where it was kind of like a adrenaline, but kind of a deeper feeling. But I was like, okay. This is real. This is happening. And the contraction started

Bridget: Yeah. Yeah. I love that imagery.

Dana Blake: getting more intense. but I was still able to like talk between contractions when we got to the hospital, which was great. So I gave them my birth plan. I had it like very like I worked really hard on it. It was laid out so pretty and it was very clear about like,

Bridget: Yeah.

Dana Blake: you know, baby's condition. Stuff from the specialist, but then also the things that I wanted for comfort during labor, for you know, I'm I want a stepwise approach to pain management, but also like a caveat: like, I completely understand that an emergency situation may arise. And if that's the case, tell me we'll do whatever we can to take care of baby. But if it's not an emergency, take care of me too.

Bridget: Yeah. Hmm. Would you do you feel like

Dana Blake: and

Bridget: it was a long birth plan?

Dana Blake: It was a full page but it was mostly like bullet points. There were

Bridget: Okay.

Dana Blake: only a couple of spots where I used sentences.

Bridget: And how was the feedback giving that to your to the staff who was there the n that night when you were in the hospital?

Dana Blake: They were really nice about it. and I really appreciated that. And the one thing I said is please call my doctor. And he said, like, if you go into labor not during your induction, like have them call me and I will talk to them because I want them to understand your you know, the medical things that are going on, but I also want to advocate for you to help you get what you need, which was incredible. And so I was so grateful for that.

Bridget: That's so amazing. Yes, that is so amazing. Yeah, my gosh.

Dana Blake: so they called him and he talked to them. but I also brought another copy of my birth plan and taped it up on the little whiteboard in my room where they say, you know, like what's your name, your blood type, all that stuff

Bridget: Yeah.

Dana Blake: that the nurses need to know. So I just like stuck it up there. I'm like, please, please read this.

Bridget: Yeah,

Dana Blake: and so they got me in and did a cervical check, which I talked to my doctor about. I don't love cervical checks. but he's like, unfortunately, that is how in the hospital we determine if you're in labor is like contractions plus change in dilation. and so I Yes. Yes.

Bridget: And this was when you were getting admitted that they wanted to do this. And were you like clearly exhibiting signs of being in labor? Hmm.

Dana Blake: Yes. but and I also said like this is my fifth baby. And she's like, okay. So she like brought in all of the stuff for having the baby even before I was all the way ready. She was just like, I'm gonna I'm gonna expect this to go fast. So we're just gonna

Bridget: We're gonna have this just in case. Yeah.

Dana Blake: have everything ready so we don't have to bother you once you're once you're really in labor. and so they they ended up only doing one check. They're their standard practice is to do an hour wait and then check again. but I was already at six centimeters and she's like, We don't need to check again. You're good. So I was like, Thank you. I appreciate that.

Bridget: Yeah.

Dana Blake: and then such a beautiful miracle, the doctor that was on call that night was the one that I was supposed to have my induction with. And so

Bridget: Wow.

Dana Blake: he already knew my case and he called my doctor again, anyways, to talk to him again. and he was fantastic to work with. He was so kind. And anytime the nurses, you know, sometimes I would hear the nurses say, like, well, she's a V-BAC, so these are like what we're supposed to do next. And he's like, It's okay. I've reviewed her case. She's good to keep going as she is.

Bridget: Do you remember any of those things that they were saying, like because you were a V back that they wanted to do?

Dana Blake: I don't remember specifically. I was very much kind of in my zone at that point. And they

Bridget: Yeah, absolutely.

Dana Blake: were speaking really quietly and they let me keep the lights down and I was so grateful that

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Dana Blake: they were being so aware of that. And I could hear them when the shift changed, kind of taking the other nurse over to the birth plan that I had taped on the wall and like walking them through it, which I was so grateful for. because

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Dana Blake: I had kind of trained my husband ahead of time, like I need you to advocate for me. Like, here's your copy of what I need you to do. Here's the copy I'm giving to the nurses. Like, cause

Bridget: So good, yeah.

Dana Blake: something we'd learned previously was he was like ch trying to just take cues from me, which I really appreciate because you never really know until you get there what you're feeling.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Dana Blake: but I'm like, I need you to advocate for me. And if I hear you say something that I don't want, I'll let you know. But here's here's what I think I'm gonna want this time.

Bridget: That's great. Yeah. So what were some of the ways that he was then supporting you in labor? You said advocating, were there other things that that he did that were

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: really helpful or made a big difference in your labor?

Dana Blake: Yeah, so when we got there, he while I was getting changed, he kind of set up the birth space for me. So I brought electric candles, I brought a sound machine, he got all of that going while I was getting in out of my regular clothes. and beforehand we had just talked about some things that I thought I would want. I said, I I want to sing with you, which I know is

Bridget: Hm.

Dana Blake: a strange thing, but I was just trying to think of like if oxytocin is the way that we get our bodies to keep going, the things that give me that feeling of oxytocin, one of them is like movement, obviously, or like cuddling, and another one

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Dana Blake: is singing. And and he and I met in choir when we were in college, so that's a special thing for us. And so

Bridget: that's amazing. Yeah, aww.

Dana Blake: there was one point where I started shivering, like getting those labor shakes. And I was having trouble relaxing my body. And so I asked for a warm blanket and I put that over my back. And then honestly I prayed. I'm like, I don't know what to do. I can't stop this. And I had the distinct thought, like, hold your husband. So I stood up and just kind of like put my arms around his neck and he held me up and we swayed while I had that blanket on and the warmth of his body and just the comfort of being next to him really helped me to relax and helped that shivering go away, which I was so grateful for. And then kind of as contractions were coming, we would sing worship songs together until I had to stop to to just breathe through the contractions. and it was just so beautiful and like really bonding in that moment and it also just helped my body so much it changed the contractions from painful to powerful. it was amazing. Another thing that was different this time is that previously in labor I've really wanted to be quiet. I was doing a lot of slow breathing kind of techniques and trying to listen to like your meditation tracks, but this time that just was not working. but you talked about making low sounds and how it can like stimulate the vagus nerve.

Bridget: Yeah.

Dana Blake: And so I tried that this time and it was amazing. It just like

Bridget: Hmm.

Dana Blake: completely changed things and it helped me keep my breathing slow as well. so do like, you know, slightly faster inhale but then a really slow oo for

Bridget: Yes.

Dana Blake: as long as I could hold it.

Bridget: So good.

Dana Blake: and that really helped me get through my contractions.

Bridget: Hmm. And I love that you

Dana Blake: But then

Bridget: said that, like, you know, for your other births, you did, you know, the more meditation, the quiet, you know, you did things differently for that one. And then for this one, you needed that vocalization. You needed that, you know, connection with your husband. And, you know, I think that's why it's so good to have so many tools when you go into birth, because you don't know what you're going to need. And, you know, I think for moms who have had multiple babies, sometimes you think, I've given birth before, like I know what I'm gonna need, or like I know what I'm gonna do for this one. And you just don't know because every birth is so different. So I love that you had

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: multiple tools at your fingertips that you could pull from and decide, I'm gonna use this because this one feels best for me right now. I love that. And I

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: love that you were singing with your husband. I just think that's like two, just like an amazing memory that you get a hold on to and like An amazing story you gotta tell your baby that, like, yep, me and your dad basically like saying you into this world. Like, I think that's just the sweetest thing.

Dana Blake: Yeah, it was it was so beautiful and I loved it. and around that point I started getting really tired, which is hard. It was like, you know, n probably close to ten o'clock at night at that point, and I'd been on my feet all day taking care of four kids and getting them out the door for a play and all of that. so I decided to try and lie down on my side in the bed and I got a peanut ball and put it between my knees. but I got really uncomfortable. But unfortunately,

Bridget: No no.

Dana Blake: I feel like I was too far into labor to move at that point. It was just

Bridget: Ha ha ha.

Dana Blake: like I felt like I was stuck. so

Bridget: Yeah, my gosh, yes.

Dana Blake: my sweet husband was just like stretched out with one hand holding my hand and the other hand pushing on the peanut ball. And, you know, I would feel him shift, and I'm like, no, no, no, like push more or too much push or like

Bridget: Ha

Dana Blake: after the fact he's like I was moving like a millimeter

Bridget: That's so funny how like y women get so in tune with like the littlest things. Like I was at a birth

Dana Blake: Mm.

Bridget: recently and Dad was in the kitchen making something and like he was making some noise, but it wasn't anything crazy. But she was just in the tub and she was just like, The noise, like couldn't handle it. And it's just

Dana Blake: Ha ha ha

Bridget: so funny. You get so, you know, it's just that primal brain that moms get

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: into that they're so they can be so hyperaware. of what's happening, the the movements, the little shifts, the noises, the even energy change that comes when different people come in the room. And that's why it's so important to protect that space and have people around you that you can be like, no, no, no, like move the peanut ball just like you were before, you know, or stop making that much noise. And you can like say those things and like kind of command the room a little bit and have the safety of doing that, knowing, you know, you're not gonna have pushback when you do make those

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: requests. and just protecting that space because we are so in tune with our environment when we're giving birth. And that's the design because our body is trying to keep us safe during this very vulnerable experience for us. So I think that's so

Dana Blake: Mm.

Bridget: funny that just the smallest movement, you're like, no, no, no, go back.

Dana Blake: Yes. but it it was great, but the transition was getting intense and I could feel myself starting to like get really anxious and I had the thought like I can't do this and then I was like, Okay, that means we're close. It's gonna be okay. but it was pretty intense for a minute. At one point I did ask a nurse to come in and check me again because in that panic I'm like I I must be like about to push. And she's like, No, you're at like eight or nine. Keep going. and that kind of helped me to

Bridget: And what was your mental state at this moment compared to your last birth when you were going into the hospital during transition and you reached that you reached that point thinking, you know, I can't do this. I need the epidural. Was your mindset different this time around? Or w did you feel like it was creeping to around that like kind of same place that you were for your last birth?

Dana Blake: I feel like physically and like hormonally I was at the same place. The pain was getting really intense and I was starting to panic a little bit but I think because of the experience I had last time and because I had done so much preparation this time I was able to say, Okay, I know that I'm getting close and the baby still looks good on the monitor, so I'm gonna just I'm gonna keep going.

Bridget: So was it just like a mindset

Dana Blake: and

Bridget: shift that you're just like, I'm gonna do this? Or did you do things like position wise, did your husband do something for you or say things that shifted you into that perspective?

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: Or was it just something that you're like, the only way out is through? So we're just gonna do this.

Dana Blake: A little bit of both. So in that moment

Bridget: Okay.

Dana Blake: I chose to keep going, but then I also kind of changed how I was doing it a little bit as well. I'm a really religious and faithful person. so I I started praying a lot and and I would ask my husband to pray every time a contraction started. I would asked him to pray and he would pray over me as those contractions were going. And that was really powerful for me and and brought

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: me a lot of peace. and I also focused more on mooing basically. but I also kind of let myself talk during those times. I think previously In labor I sometimes was worried about like I guess being embarrassed of like other people hearing what I was saying in those really vulnerable moments or not wanting to worry my husband.

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: and this time I kind of just gave over to what I was feeling and decided not to worry about whether or not anybody else heard it. And so I was praying out loud, or saying things like, Come on, baby, you like You're almost here, mommy's here, we're gonna get through this. and kind of asking God to guide my baby to me, and that was really sacred and special.

Bridget: Yes, that's beautiful.

Dana Blake: and then I felt a shift. It was just or I guess in that time my contractions were further apart than they usually are during. transition for me. Usually they're about one and a half minutes apart. But I was having almost four minutes in between them.

Bridget: Okay.

Dana Blake: And I was actually falling asleep in between in between

Bridget: Yes, we love it.

Dana Blake: those contractions. And then I would wake up and be like, whoa, here it comes.

Bridget: Mm-hmm. Yes. That's always like so mind blowing for moms to understand. Like, yes, you could actually fall asleep during the most intense parts of labor. And they're like, What?

Dana Blake: Yes.

Bridget: But it's amazing what our bodies can do and like what a gift that is. Because it gives you just that like extra energy you need to get through that really intense part of labor. But that's such like a like weird experience, like falling asleep and then being like, Well, okay, we're having a baby. Let's get back into it. Yeah. Okay. So you're

Dana Blake: Yes.

Bridget: you're having that. You're falling asleep between contractions and then what kind of goes on from

Dana Blake: And then

Bridget: there?

Dana Blake: and then just felt a shift. And it was the best way to describe it was a shift in the noise that I needed to make. and that that was really the biggest thing that I felt was I went from going ooh to wanting to almost roar. and not in a way of like panic, but just like the energy became more More intense.

Bridget: Yeah.

Dana Blake: But in a lot of ways, for me, when it's time to push, it's less painful than when I'm in transition. by a lot. I'm like, okay, finally we made it to the good part. Yes.

Bridget: Agreed. I feel the same way. I'm always like, this feels so much better. Well, it feels like I can do something, you know? It's like and I I I've heard a lot of moms, you know, share that experience too, where it's like I can finally like do something, not just surrender, but actually like participate and like push and it just like it it does bring relief. It's like the strangest thing. Mm-hmm.

Dana Blake: Yes. It it really does feel like relief. So I had my husband beep the nurse and say, Baby's coming, and thankfully at my doctor was really fast. At that point I was still on my side. and I had been hoping or at least planning to try pushing either on all fours or on my side or something and just see what felt right. and my doctor came in and he said, Do you want to push here? And In that moment, I just felt in my body, I'm like, actually, I need to be on my back. That's what my body wants right now.

Bridget: Hmm. Yeah.

Dana Blake: so I was surprised that in listening to my body in that moment, my body said, Get on your back. So I'm like, Okay.

Bridget: Yeah, and that's it's so important for moms to be in tune with what their body needs. Because yes, for most moms, that's not the case, but it's so important to be able to be to trust your body and do what it says, even if it might be not what you've heard on social media or even in your birth course, you know. But that's so interesting.

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: And I love that you had an idea of like your different options, but you were listening to your body and you're like, nope, this is. This is what my body needs. That's great.

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm. So my husband and the nurse kind of helped me just roll over and then They they put up the stirrups for me, but I pretty quick wasn't really using them. and was just kind of holding on to my own legs. and that really gave me kind of the leverage that I felt like I needed. I always feel so bad saying this to other women who are like learning about birth, but my babies come really fast. My labors are a normal length. But when it's time to push, they come really fast.

Bridget: Yeah.

Dana Blake: And so I I started pushing, and at that point my sound got from low to more of like a a roar. I I was kind of yelling. and it wasn't in response to pain at all. It was just a I was trying to describe it to my kids of it's not. It's not yelling because of something. It's yelling like the same way when you're trying to throw something really hard or you're trying to push something heavy. It's it's just a sound of exertion.

Bridget: Absolutely. Yes. Yeah. It's the effort. It's the sound that like you make because of the effort that you're giving. I always think of like

Dana Blake: Yes.

Bridget: tennis players. Like if I we there's a video

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: I saw where they mic'd tennis players and it was so funny because of all their like grunts and noises, but it's the same thing with birth. It's like when there is big effort, there's usually a lot more vocalization. And it doesn't mean

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: that mom is out of control or that it's painful. It's just like it feels good to add to that effort. Yeah. And that it just produces

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm. It does.

Bridget: a natural sound.

Dana Blake: And so it was really interesting because I feel like when I did hypnobabies, I didn't really feel what was going on. It was the point of it was to be in a state of hypnosis almost. but this time I felt like I was completely in tune with my body. I knew exactly what was going on. I knew when when to hold back a little bit in my pushing to give my body time to stretch. I knew when to keep pushing. I could feel I could feel baby moving and emerging and it was it was really powerful and

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: to to feel every little moment of baby coming and then and then he was there and they put

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: him on my chest and One of the things with his umbilical cord issue was that the specialist said, Do not under any circumstances pull on the umbilical cord to get the placenta out.

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: and so they did give me Pitocin to kind of slow the bleeding since they couldn't help the placenta get out. which I really don't like Pitocin, but I felt like that was a good reason to use it.

Bridget: Yeah.

Dana Blake: and another thing is I had asked for delayed cord clamping and so the doctor was like you know, invited me to feel the umbilical cord, to feel that it was done pulsing, to feel all of that before he cut it or and then he offered to let my husband cut it and so I was really grateful that he, was so in tune with what I had asked for and didn't just get into the swing of things.

Bridget: Yeah. Yes. And that's the beauty again of having an aligned provider is that

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: like i they which you should always be the person of authority in your birth decisions, but they go the extra mile to invite you into that. Where, you know, he

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: didn't have to say, you know, feel the cord and see if it's pulsing. But he chose to do that because

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: he knew that that was going to give you autonomy and keep you in the authority of your birth experience. And I love that. And I think that's so

Dana Blake: Mm.

Bridget: that that is something that moms can ask for in their birth that is going to help them keep them in charge of the decisions being made or simple things like that. Like before we cut the cord, can I feel can I feel it? You know, can I see if it's still

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: pulsating so we can make the decision then instead of being, you know, the hard line of two to three minutes, you know, when we don't know if the

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: cord has emptied its blood to baby, you know. And so I love that he invited you into

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: that experience so that he was like, hey, this isn't my birth, this is yours. And I want you to be the one making the decisions. I love that. That's so cool.

Dana Blake: Yeah, it was so beautiful. And I was so zoned in, I didn't even realize that the NICU team was in there waiting just in case something was wrong. But the doctor really kept everybody back. He was like, Baby's fine, baby's color's fine, the umbilical cord is still whole, there's no no issues with it. And so he let us have a whole hour of

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: just Just cuddling and being together and I waited. this was the first time that I had noticed my baby doing the breast crawl.

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: and unfortunately his umbilical cord wasn't long enough for me to breastfeed him right in that moment. I had to wait for the

Bridget: no.

Dana Blake: placenta to come out before I could. I'm like, I'm sorry, honey, it's okay. We're gonna

Bridget: bummer.

Dana Blake: feed you really soon.

Bridget: he got there soon enough.

Dana Blake: He got there pretty quick, but it was just really, really beautiful to see that and I just felt so connected to my baby this time because of how much I felt during the labor. I

Bridget: Hm.

Dana Blake: felt like we together with heaven brought brought that baby and it was kind of a group effort and not just me by myself.

Bridget: That's incredible. Hmm.

Dana Blake: And with my husband as well, he was just my rock in like he's always my support, but this time he put in so much effort to be prepared with all of the tools that he could. Instead of waiting for me to tell him what I needed, he was ready to jump in with options.

Bridget: So for him to get there, did you do any of the course with him or did you just tell him what he what you thought he needed to know? Like how did he get to that place of feeling equipped? And I'm sure, you know, by that point

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: he's four babies in. He's kind of supported you through all of those experiences. but what what do you think changed this time around where he felt like You know, he stepped in and he really did those things and showed up in that

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: way.

Dana Blake: I think part of part of it was this time I asked him, like I said, you know, in the past the strategy we had was you waiting for me. but I think this time I would like you to be a little bit more ready to be on top of it, especially because we have all of these potential complications. And his work was really busy and he was taking care of kids while I was doing hospital visits to check on the baby and all of these things. So I kind of flagged the lessons that I wanted him to watch in the course. Instead of being like, You need to watch the whole thing. I'm like, Okay, check out, you know, these five or six lessons or whatever that talk about

Bridget: That's great.

Dana Blake: the things that I feel like will help me. And

Bridget: That's awesome.

Dana Blake: then we practice things at home like the hip squeeze or the rocking and other things like that. We we actually did it at home a few times and it was really nice because then in the moment he knew what to do. but there was also

Bridget: Mm.

Dana Blake: one point where I was like, Will you try the hip squeeze? And he tried it and I'm like, just kidding, stop that right now.

Bridget: Again, that's why you have so many tools and then you decide in the moment what works and what d what doesn't. And thank goodness you had other tools because if you're like, well, I thought

Dana Blake: Mm.

Bridget: this was gonna be it because everyone tells me to do the double hip squeeze, then that would have been such a bummer to not have anything else at your fingertips. So thank goodness you had other things.

Dana Blake: yeah, that communication ahead of time and practicing ahead of time was something we hadn't really done before. But

Bridget: That's

Dana Blake: of felt like, you know, let's actually do this ahead of time and see, you know, how it works. And it was nice because there were things that actually gave me a lot of relief at the end of pregnancy to, you know, help open my hips and things, even though I didn't end up needing it. during labor as much. That preparation

Bridget: Yeah.

Dana Blake: built our relationship and also prepared us for labor.

Bridget: I love that. What do you feel like you walked out of this birth experience having a new perspective on or you never realized it before, or just something you learned from this birth experience of your first your fifth baby?

Dana Blake: something that I realized was how important communication is previously I had I had tried to be independent in in the birth space. And I wanted my husband there holding my hand, but it was all me doing it. And this time I really kind of invited him into that space. And thankfully we have a relationship where I f feel completely safe and can feel completely open with him. And he was willing to step into that space with me. And this time it felt like he was helping carry me as I was giving birth instead of just standing beside me, you know, offering emotional support. He was in it with me. And that was really, really special. I think having having a support person with you that you can completely trust and be completely vulnerable with. is huge. I know in the past my mom has expressed like, you know, I'd love to be there with you, but I don't feel like she would respect my autonomy in wanting a more natural space and I don't feel like she would be a calming presence in my room even though she loves me to pieces. and like there's so many instances where my mom is the one I go to for support. I feel like in that moment I needed my husband.

Bridget: Yeah. And I think that's so important. That's such an important distinction to make for moms because it's not just bring anyone you love into your birth space because we could fill a room with people you love, but

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm. Right.

Bridget: it's people who are going to serve you in a really unique capacity. Those are the people, you know, you and you want to have a lot of discernment about who those people are, but those are the people that you want to welcome into your birth space, people who are going to make you feel safe, people who are going to advocate for you, people that you are going to feel completely free to be yourself in whatever way that looks for that labor in front of them. And so yeah, I love that distinction of, you know, of course I love my mom and I go to her for so many other things, but for this unique experience, I knew I needed my husband or, you know, for someone else that might be my sister, my mom, my aunt, whoever that might be. But I love

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: that distinction that you made. I think that's really powerful. I have one more question for us before

Dana Blake: Mm-hmm.

Bridget: we wrap up. But you are a mom of five. You've done motherhood for many years. You've dealt with pregnancy, you've dealt with loss, you've dealt with struggles, you've dealt with cesarean sections and vaginal births, all the spectrum. So, what advice would you give to A new mom or a struggling mom in this season of motherhood, you know, whether she's pregnant or having just given birth, what's one piece of advice you would give to her?

Dana Blake: man. I think it's

Bridget: I know it's a big one.

Dana Blake: a huge one. I guess two things come to mind. One is, you know, for me, my faith is really an anchor for me and it's something that brings me a lot of peace. And so whatever your faith is, or find find something that gives you a sense of peace and purpose. for me it's very much my relationship with Jesus Christ. For anybody, it can be what brings you steadiness and peace. And I think another thing is that there isn't a right way to do it. Or rather, there are so many right ways to

Bridget: Hmm.

Dana Blake: do it. And it's okay if it looks different from the mom next door, or even different than what you thought it would be. If it's different than being the mom that you thought you would be, it's okay to pivot, it's okay to learn, it's okay to try things and say that didn't work, I'm gonna try something else.

Bridget: Mm-hmm.

Dana Blake: And that you you get to be a unique mom and you do

Bridget: Hm.

Dana Blake: it your way. And it doesn't matter what grandma says or what you know the lady on Instagram says, it matters that you you know you Try and be the best mom for your kids and for yourself.

Bridget: I love that. I think that is powerful advice, especially in the world that we live in where comparison is so easy and there's so many different perspectives and little people's different advice that they can give. And so it's so powerful to hear, you know what? You can do what is right for you and your family and that's okay. And that's going to be what's best for you and your family. And so I love that. And I think it means a lot coming from a mom like you who has had a lot of lived experience in the motherhood world. So thank you for sharing that with us. Dana, thank you for sharing your birth story. I know so many moms are going to be encouraged by what you've shared. And there are so many little pieces of advice and wisdom throughout your story. And so I just want to thank you for spending the time to come on and share your story with us.

Dana Blake: Thank you so much. And thank you. You've been such a huge part of my journey. And I feel like I've learned so much from you. And it's so great to get to talk about this with you.

Bridget: Yes, I love it. Well, again, thank you for coming on the podcast and hopefully we'll be able to talk again soon.

Dana Blake: All right, thank you.

Bridget: I hope you enjoyed Dana's birth story as much as I did and you're walking away with more encouragement and more empowerment and more information than when you first started here. But if you want to continue equipping yourself with information and empowering yourself for your happier, healthier, and easier birth, I encourage you to check out the Built to Birth course. That wraps up this podcast together, and I will see you in the next one. By mama's