Worth Repeating: A Retired Judge's Playbook for Family Court Success

In this classic episode from the archives, Bill and Megan sit down with retired Judge Bruce R. Cohen, who spent 24 years as a family law attorney and nearly 20 years on the bench in Arizona's Superior Court, for a rare look at family court from both sides.
Judge Cohen pulls back the curtain on how judges actually weigh a case, why the old assumptions about gender bias no longer hold up, and what separates a parent who gets heard from one who doesn't.
Judge Cohen unpacks how the "best interests of the child" standard actually gets applied in the courtroom, sharing personal stories — including the memorable "Bonnie story" — that show how presence and genuine humanity shape better outcomes for families.
The conversation turns practical: rather than laying out a chronological case history or trying to prove who's "right," Judge Cohen explains that success in family court comes down to demonstrating your ability to meet your children's needs. Bill and Megan dig into how understanding your jurisdiction's specific factors — and letting go of assumptions about judicial bias — can make or break a case.
Judicial Insights Addressed:
• How judges actually determine a child's best interests
• Why gender bias in family court looks different today than it used to
• What separates a "high conflict" case from a routine one
• How jurisdiction-specific factors shape a judge's decisions
Courtroom Strategies That Work:
• Focus on your children's needs and your ability to meet them, not a blow-by-blow of the past
• Show up authentically rather than playing to assumed bias
• Know your jurisdiction's specific best-interest factors before you walk in
• Credibility grows when you acknowledge your own weaknesses, not just the other side's
• Aim your case at future solutions, not past grievances
Drawing on decades on both sides of the bench, Judge Cohen offers a rare, practical look at what actually works in family court — insight you won't get from most legal advice. Combined with Bill and Megan's expertise, this is a conversation worth revisiting anytime you're preparing to walk into a courtroom.
Additional Resources
Books & Expert Publications:
• Managing High Conflict People in Court (unhookedmedia.com/stock/p/managing-high-confli…)
• The Future of Family Court (unhookedmedia.com/stock/p/the-future-of-family…)
Meet the Judge:
• Judge Bruce R. Cohen (ret.) bio (highconflictinstitute.com/our-team)
Classes & Consultations:
• New Ways for Families® (highconflicttraining.com/coaching-nwff) online class for parents
• Conflict Influencer™ (highconflicttraining.com/conflict-influencer-all) online group for parents or anyone
• 1:1 Consultation (highconflicttraining.com/consultation) with Bill Eddy/Megan Hunter
Stay Connected:
• Sign up for our newsletter (keap.app/contact-us/8873548883578521)
• Visit High Conflict Institute (highconflictinstitute.com)
• Submit a question for Bill and Megan (highconflictinstitute.com/podcast)
• All of our books can be found in our online store (highconflictinstitute.com/store) or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.
• You can also find these show notes at our site (highconflictinstitute.com/podcast) as well.
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault

• (01:02) - Welcome Judge Bruce R. Cohen (Ret.)

• (01:29) - Judge Cohen’s Background

• (06:01) - Connecting

• (08:28) - The Bonnie Story

• (13:18) - Time in Court

• (14:20) - Bill’s Time in Court

• (16:59) - Communicate Simply

• (27:29) - Best Interest Factors

• (29:50) - Gender Issues

• (35:31) - Control What You Can Control

• (37:07) - Identify Needs of Child

• (39:22) - High Conflict Cases

• (43:55) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Answering Listener Questions