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Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else.
They are the most difficult of difficult people — some would say they’re toxic. Without them, tv shows, movies, and the news would be boring, but who wants to live that way in your own life!
Have you ever wanted to know what drives them to act this way?
In the It’s All Your Fault podcast, we’ll take you behind the scenes to understand what’s happening in the brain and illuminates why we pick HCPs as life partners, why we hire them, and how we can handle interactions and relationships with them. We break down everything you ever wanted to know about people with the 5 high conflict personality types: narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, antisocial/sociopath, and paranoid.
And we’ll give you tips on how to spot them and how to deal with them.
Folgen
Setting Limits, Staying Connected: Two Listener Questions
High conflict behavior can follow you to school and into your own family. Two listeners ask how to quiet rumors from a parent who glares and whispers, and how to stay connected to nieces and nephews after a brother cuts them off. Bill Eddy,
When Conflict Makes You Sick: How Stress Harms the Body with Dr. Sharon Stills
High conflict relationships can make you sick. Dr. Sharon Stills, a naturopathic medical doctor, explains what chronic stress does to your body. Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founder of the High Conflict Institute, hosts this conversation about sle
Does a Mental Health Diagnosis Mean a Lighter Sentence?
Should a mental health diagnosis mean a lighter sentence for a serious crime? In high conflict cases, the answer depends on whether someone is out of touch with reality or has a personality disorder. The Lindsay Clancy trial brings the ques
Stop Arguing About the Past: The SWYP Method
High conflict arguments follow a script: relitigate the past, assign blame, get nowhere. Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, introduce SWYP, a three-step method for turning that pattern into a workable proposal, alongside the CARS M
Two Ways to Handle One High Conflict Case with Dr. Anthony Mazzella
When someone in a high conflict relationship insists their partner is entirely uncaring, is that the whole truth — or a sign of something else going on underneath? This episode puts one hypothetical high conflict case through two very diffe
Worth Repeating: Protecting Your Job When Home Life Turns High Conflict
In this classic episode from the archives, Bill and Megan tackle a version of high conflict that doesn't always get airtime: what happens when the conflict isn't at work, but follows you there from home. How Home Stress Follows You Into the
Worth Repeating: Why Some People Go Zero to Sixty with Anger (And Others Don't)
One of our favorite deep dives, revisited: why do some people go from calm to enraged in seconds flat, while others barely flinch? Bill and Megan dig into the science — and it might change how you think about jogging off your anger. Bill Ed
Worth Repeating: A Retired Judge's Playbook for Family Court Success
In this classic episode from the archives, Bill and Megan sit down with retired Judge Bruce R. Cohen, who spent 24 years as a family law attorney and nearly 20 years on the bench in Arizona's Superior Court, for a rare look at family court
Worth Repeating: Parental Alienation, False Abuse Claims, and When to Stop Fighting in Family Court
One of our most-asked-about topics, revisited: two listeners write in about parental alienation and when to stop fighting in family court. Bill and Megan's answers hold up just as well today. Tackling Listener Questions on High Conflict Per
From Case-by-Case to Conflict-Smart: High Conflict at Work, Part 4 of 4
High conflict behavior at work rarely stays contained to one person or one incident — it spreads across teams, drains HR's time, and quietly drives turnover and burnout long before anyone names it as a pattern. The real question for most or
From Reacting to Responding: High Conflict at Work, Part 3 of 4
High conflict behavior doesn't just disrupt your team—it follows leaders home, costs organizations hundreds of thousands of dollars, and gets worse when managers react without a plan. The question Part 3 of this four-part workplace series a
What HR Keeps Missing: High Conflict at Work, Part 2 of 4
High conflict at work rarely announces itself. By the time it becomes a formal HR complaint or a leadership crisis, the patterns were visible much earlier—and the tools most organizations rely on to stay fair often make things worse, not be
Why Workplace Conflict Is Surging: High Conflict at Work, Part 1 of 4
Workplace conflict is costing US businesses $359 billion a year—and behind a disproportionate share of that damage is high conflict behavior: the kind that ignores limits, escalates faster than most leaders expect, and doesn't respond to th
Accepting the Limits of a High Conflict Relationship
High conflict relationships can leave you grieving something most people don't recognize as a real loss — not just the person, but the relationship you always hoped you could have. When someone in your life consistently cannot offer the emp
How to Leave a High Conflict Relationship Without Escalating
Fear of retaliation keeps many people trapped in high conflict relationships long after they know they need to leave. Emotional explosions, smear campaigns, threats involving children, financial punishment, legal warfare — the threat of wha
How Validation Calms the Brain: The Science of EAR Statements
When someone in a high conflict situation gets upset, the instinct is to explain, correct, or reason with them — and that almost always makes things worse. The reason isn't a mystery anymore: it's neuroscience. Validation doesn't just make
When It's Not Your Fault: Blame, Backlash, and Setting Limits
When a high conflict person says it's all your fault, most reasonable people do something predictable — they start wondering what they did wrong. That instinct toward self-reflection is healthy in most relationships. With high conflict peop
When No One Believes You About High Conflict
High conflict cases have a well-documented credibility problem: the person with high conflict personality traits walks into the lawyer’s office, the HR department, or the courtroom looking calm and composed. The person who has been respondi
When Addiction Meets Custody: Building a Plan That Holds, Part 2
When addiction and high conflict personality traits both show up in a custody case, the usual advice stops working. Vague parenting plans become weapons. Standard timelines get exploited. Courts aren't designed to manage what's happening da
When Addiction and Antisocial Behavior Collide in Custody
High conflict custody cases are hard enough—but when one parent also demonstrates antisocial personality traits alongside addiction and a pattern of long-term deception, standard parenting plans fall short in ways that can leave a child at
Why Your Child Absorbs Your Emotions
In high conflict divorce, children don’t just witness a parent’s distress—they absorb it, often without knowing where the feeling is coming from. Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explain the brain science behind emotional contagion, why it can qu
Passive Aggressive Behavior: Is It High Conflict?
Passive aggressive behavior is one of the most common—and most maddening—dynamics in high conflict situations. In this episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter of the High Conflict Institute reframe passive aggression as what it really is: aggre
Conflict Creators: Why Drama Gets Into Our Heads
Why are so many people drawn to media figures who thrive on conflict, drama, and promises of secret revelations? Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter of the High Conflict Institute break down the neuroscience behind it—and it turns out your brain is
High Conflict Behavior at Work Part 2 with Michael Lomax
Michael Lomax joins Megan Hunter to share practical tools leaders can use right away when high conflict behavior is derailing their team. They cover BIFF responses for written communication, how to redirect disruptive meeting participants,
High Conflict Behavior at Work with Michael Lomax
HCI senior trainer Michael Lomax joins Megan Hunter to unpack why high conflict behavior is escalating in today's workplaces—and what leaders can actually do about it. Drawing on twenty-five years in workplace dispute resolution, Michael ex
Setting Boundaries in High Conflict Situations
We answer five listener questions about setting boundaries with intrusive neighbors, hostile co-parents, difficult coworkers, and adult children who demonstrate high conflict behaviors. Learn when to use empathy versus firmness, how to docu
Can High Conflict Relationships Ever Become Truly Mutual? Setting Realistic Expectations and Boundaries
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore one of the most challenging questions faced by people in relationships with partners who demonstrate high conflict behaviors: Is it possible to develop a genuinely mutual and healthy relationship through p
Beyond No-Contact: High Conflict Skills for Family Relationships
The Evolution of Family Estrangement: Understanding Adult Children Cutting Ties Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore the growing phenomenon of adult children severing relationships with parents, examining research, societal shifts, and potent
SLIC Solutions for Limits: How to Set Boundaries That Actually Work (with Ekaterina Ricci)
Setting Effective Limits: A Conversation About SLIC Solutions for Conflict Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter welcome co-author Ekaterina Ricci to discuss their new book "SLIC Solutions for Conflict," exploring practical approaches to setting limit
Self-Compassion and DBT: How New Treatment Approaches Transform BPD Recovery with Amanda Smith
In this episode of It's All Your Fault, host Megan Hunter interviews Amanda Smith, LCSW, about her groundbreaking new book on self-compassion and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills for people who have borderline personality disorder
