Why Grief Hurts So Much and How to Live Fully Again | David Kessler

This week I'm joined by David Kessler, grief expert, author and one of the most important voices in the world on loss, healing and what it means to find meaning after the people we love are gone.
We explore grief in all its forms, why we get it so wrong, and what it actually looks like to move through loss rather than around it.
David Kessler co-authored On Grief and Grieving with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and is the author of six books on grief and loss, including Finding Meaning, which adds a sixth stage to the five stages of grief. He is the founder of grief.com, one of the largest grief resources in the world, and has worked with thousands of people through loss — including after the death of his own son.
He is widely regarded as the world's foremost expert on grief and has spent his career changing the way we understand and talk about one of the most universal human experiences.
What we explore together:
• Why the five stages of grief were never meant to be linear — and what that means for how we heal
• What grief actually is, and why it extends far beyond death
• Why we are so bad at sitting with other people’s pain — and what to do instead
• The sixth stage of grief: finding meaning — what it is, and what it isn’t
• Why your loved one’s physical death is permanent, but your loss of hope is temporary
• What David learned about grief from losing his own son
• Why love is the one thing that never dies — and how that changes everything

Love, Sarah Ann
💛My book 'Healthy Shouldn't Be This Hard': amazon.co.uk/Healthy-Shouldnt-Be-This-Hard-ebo…
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Chapters
00:00 Introduction
03:07 Why the five stages of grief were never meant to be linear
05:52 What grief actually is — and why it goes beyond death
12:09 The chapter on anger and why it matters
14:53 Why we’re so bad at sitting with other people’s pain
18:10 There is no perfect way to grieve
20:54 Grief is universal — so why do we forget that?
23:58 When logic tries to fix what only feeling can heal
27:09 Pain and grief as transformation
29:54 The profound healing moment most people miss
32:55 Quieting the mind to stay present with loss
35:56 The goal of grief work: remembering with more love than pain
39:04 Allowing life to happen alongside grief
42:07 David’s personal loss and what it taught him
45:06 Being invested in life while knowing it is temporary
48:12 We are human beings — and we are going to get it wrong
53:52 Waking up after loss and what that first moment feels like
57:07 Finding community and connection through grief
65:56 Your loss of hope is temporary
69:12 Soulmates and what happens after loss
71:49 What is the worst kind of grief?
80:48 Love is what connects and heals us
83:59 The luxury of feelings in this generation
87:09 Final thoughts on living well and being well