555 - Live at Bass Concert Hall (Austin Night 2)

0:48 What's up, Austin? Every time we don't get that wrong, I'm so happy for us.

1:00 Yes, I mean, for real.

1:01 Have a seat. Have a seat. Thank you. Hi, y'all.

1:05 Hi.

1:06 Hi, y'all.

1:08 Hi.

1:11 Man, for a theater this big, that was incredibly loud. Thank you so much. Good job, guys.

1:17 Thank you.

1:24 This never sucks.

1:26 Never. Not one time.

1:28 Nope. And we've forgotten how to do this a couple times. I wrote some stuff down because we forgot to talk about anything last night.

1:36 Yeah, yeah, we kind of rushed right to the middle. Last night, it happens, it happens sometimes.

1:42 Let's start with what you're wearing.

1:44 Really?

1:44 I don't know.

1:48 You go first.

1:49 Okay, I'm wearing a dress, it's vintage. It's got questionable vintage stains on it.

1:57 Yes.

1:57 And I'm wearing my cowboy boots.

1:59 Yeah.

2:02 Yeah, because Georgia knows how to rep.

2:06 And I'm wearing a dress that reminds me of my grandma, and it has pockets. Yeah. Thank you.

2:14 There's something in there.

2:15 Show them your sexy tights, too.

2:18 Yeah.

2:19 Last night I had opaque, kind of just some opaque tights, like from the 90s that you'd wear with Doc Martens.

2:26 And my sister's friend Adrienne's here.

2:29 She really shat on me for wearing those tights. So did my friend Okira.

2:34 So did my friend Jan.

2:35 Wow.

2:36 Everybody.

2:36 I didn't know.

2:37 I was being dogpiled in that room.

2:40 For nylons.

2:41 For a basic anti-fashion choice.

2:45 Legs.

2:45 Legs.

2:46 Remember the pantyhose legs?

2:48 That came in an egg? Are we the oldest people here?

2:51 Come on.

2:51 Yeah.

2:52 Okay.

2:54 I just, when I was a kid, I was like, mom, I want this. And she's like, it's fucking like nylon. It's an egg. It's not an egg.

3:02 Legs and eggs.

3:03 That was the kind of thinking they were doing in the late seventies. It's like, you know what?

3:06 Women love protein.

3:08 You know what? They also love not having weird, gross.

3:12 Legs shown to everybody.

3:13 Cover those up, ladies.

3:15 Cover them up, put them in a plastic egg. They will sell.

3:21 What have you been doing here in Austin?

3:23 Let's see. Well, just mostly eating mac and cheese and then Uncrustable. I am the unofficial Uncrustable ambassador.

3:33 She is.

3:35 I don't know why.

3:36 I know why, because Georgia put Uncrustables on her writer as like her request.

3:41 For the green room?

3:42 Yeah, what we get to have backstage.

3:44 I got so excited, and apparently I'm the only one, because you didn't put anything down on yours. But I was like, I want this. It's like my moment.

3:52 I said mozzarella sticks, and... Craig kind of stared at me and I went, I'm sorry, I meant string cheese. Anyway, I don't care. Diet Coke, whatever. Let's just get this over with.

4:04 So I've just been bringing Karen snacks. And for some reason, when I said Uncrustables, I think they thought I meant three dozen Uncrustables. Yeah. So I've just been bringing everyone Uncrustables. And you have to put, you have to warm them up for a minute. So we figured out you put them in your bra. Yeah. It's got the perfect amount of.

4:23 Yeah.

4:23 And so, no, what if.

4:24 I had my bra padded?

4:27 That's the Austin hors d'oeuvres. That's what we call that right there. A boob warmed Uncrustable from us to you. Yeah.

4:36 That's good. Yum.

4:38 I mean, I've had some of the most delicious, I keep eating food here, like, you know, obviously fajitas and tacos and stuff like that. But I'm like, how come I can't make meat like this? Why is it so impossible for me? to enjoy food. So you're, except for Uncrustables.

4:55 Right.

4:56 And things like it.

4:57 Thank you.

4:57 Yeah.

4:58 I ate barbecue from Terry Black's. Do you like that one?

5:03 Do you know Terry?

5:04 You guys know him?

5:05 Terry's here tonight. Thank you for being here.

5:08 I keep eating like I don't have to be on stage and in front of a camera. Like the salt I have been consuming. Salt's great. I, it's so good. I don't want anything that doesn't have in it, have it in it.

5:22 Hold on a second.

5:23 What?

5:23 Was it you or me that asked for nerds clusters backstage? Cause we do have those. Those are there.

5:30 That's right.

5:31 Yeah. So I have for dinner, I have nerds crust, nerds clusters, nerds uncrustables.

5:39 Shut up.

5:39 It's our idea, not yours.

5:41 You heard it.

5:41 You dare steal that idea.

5:43 Wait, are they... Do you put the closed sandwich and you put it inside?

5:47 It's a surprise inside.

5:49 Okay, you don't want to, like, put it on the outside so it's crunchy on the outside?

5:52 That's very Voodoo Donuts of you, but I think it should be on the inside.

5:56 Okay, what about both?

5:57 Yep.

5:59 Perfect.

6:00 What other creative ideas do we have?

6:03 Whatever fun stuff is going on.

6:05 I meant to tell you in Denver how I sliced my finger open right before we went on tour. Oh. Because it's this thing that keeps you humble when you do something really stupid the moment before you go talk in front of a lot of people.

6:18 Uh-huh.

6:19 And so I slit my finger open on a nose hair trimmer.

6:23 Oh.

6:23 Right before the car came to pick us up.

6:27 Wait, so are you using like just an open blade to trim your nose hair?

6:32 Because I wouldn't do that if I were you.

6:34 No, that would be amazing. But thankfully it was brand new and I thought you had to put a battery in it. So I tried to rip it apart like you would like an electric toothbrush. And then it went zoop. And then, nope, right over the blade.

6:46 And it was that thing where it didn't hurt at first and it was kind of white. So you're like, this won't be a problem. And like four seconds.

6:51 Later, the fountain.

6:53 Yeah. And then I got in the car and we went to a live show.

6:56 And you said, hey, here's some content right here.

6:58 That's right.

6:59 We're going to be able to use this.

7:00 That's right. What else did we want to tell them?

7:04 Just, we love you, Austin. We're so happy to be here.

7:08 Oh, awesome. This is a podcast, true crime comedy podcast called My Favorite Murder. Yeah, that's right. That's it.

7:18 That's what we wanted to tell you. That's Georgia Hardstark.

7:21 That's Kieran Kilgaren.

7:25 And finally, as opposed to the podcast we normally do, we get to hear.

7:31 Your side of the story.

7:32 We get to podcast and you, I mean, not too much, but you get to be with us too. It's the most exciting version of this podcast.

7:41 We've got so much more than you realize when you listen to us, when we have editors happening, right?

7:48 Thanks, Liana.

7:49 Yeah.

7:49 Thanks, Aristotle.

7:51 They really fix it up for us.

7:53 That's it. What else?

7:55 Oh, Steven.

7:58 Steven texted me today, actually. Did he? Yeah, he said, I met Mary Roach today, who's like one of the coolest authors. That's right. So I didn't ask him about it because I was doing this.

8:09 That's funny because, no joke, he texted me today and he was like, I was at the, whatever it is, 50th anniversary of Jaws.

8:16 Good luck tonight.

8:17 Aw.

8:17 And it was him in an audience, Steven Spielberg, and then one of these, but it says Jaws on it. And I was like, what the heck? What?

8:26 Yeah. So Hollywood. That Hollywood mustache. Yeah.

8:31 All of Hollywood's worst secrets inside that mustache.

8:36 I'm getting a hot flash. Should we sit down? I think we should. Thank you. Last night someone, oh my God, another fan. I'm not talking about like one of my fans. I'm talking about someone as a fan because they're also having hot flashes and someone had one last night.

8:55 Hand fans.

8:56 This means, Nicole, I think we have to start making fans. Yeah.

9:00 Oh, also.

9:01 Oh, there it is.

9:02 I got tissues this time.

9:05 Right now, Nicole's like, ugh.

9:07 More merch?

9:08 We have to make fans.

9:09 Did you guys meet Nicole at merch? This is her first time in Texas.

9:12 Yeah.

9:13 So be really nice to her.

9:15 Be really nice to Nicole.

9:16 Not that you would.

9:16 We need her to stay. We need her help very badly. Oh, wait, am I first tonight?

9:20 I'm pretty sure I'm first.

9:22 Oh, okay.

9:22 Right?

9:23 I'm not sure. No, yeah, I went first last night.

9:26 No, but it's about the stories.

9:28 It's not about that.

9:29 And then we just have a full fucking fight in front of you?

9:32 I am 50% sure I'm first tonight.

9:35 Well, you know what? When the slideshow starts, we'll know for sure.

9:38 Shit. Goodness. Me? Okay, I got a thumbs up.

9:41 Okay, great, it's Georgia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

9:43 Oh, but first you have to tell them about this thing.

9:45 Oh, that's right. That's right. If you are new here, if you work at the Bass Theater and you don't know what the fuck is going on right now, if you're dragged along, someone's friend.

9:57 We welcome you.

9:58 This is a true crime comedy podcast. Now, that is not a thing most people have heard of before. Georgia and I grew up, we've had our traumas, we've had our times, and the way we learn to cope is through humor. And we also learn to cope by reading and rule books and looking at websites with fucked up, horrible things that happen to other people on them, and empathizing and wondering and making plans. Yep. And so that might be a combination that's upsetting for most people. We just want you to know, if you're concerned, we do not think that murder is funny. We think we're funny.

10:37 And other than that, if you don't like it, you can get the fuck out.

10:46 We also realized today, after 10 years of touring, that we've never told you guys that we don't know each other's stories. Yeah, I mean.

10:54 People who listen all the time know this, but when Georgia tells me this story right now, I've never heard it.

11:00 It's not like she sends it to me and I read it or anything.

11:02 It's as new for me as it is for you.

11:04 And the people we work with will tell you how fucking annoying that is for all of them to have to keep, they have to have two meetings, like separate meetings with us. Don't even mention the, you know, the slideshows.

11:15 Yeah.

11:15 If you're the one who gives it away, it's not good. Look what happened to Steven. Oh.

11:24 That's why Stephen's at the 50th anniversary of Jaws and not here tonight with us. Sorry.

11:30 Sorry you can't be here with these insane women. These ones, not you guys. These ones, not you guys.

11:37 No one else. All right.

11:39 Yeah, let's do it.

11:40 Okay. Okay.

11:41 So this one.

11:42 Oh.

11:42 Thanks. Thanks.

11:45 This one, it got pitched to me, and it's a weird phenomenon, kind of ghosty story. And I was like, that's really weird that you're pitching it, because I've actually witnessed this phenomenon myself. Tonight's story is, it's a classic Texas, Texas?

12:04 Texas.

12:05 Texas instruments?

12:07 Texas.

12:07 Texas. Texas story. All right, Karen, it's a dark night in 1883. Okay. You love it. And 23-year-old Robert Reed Ellison is driving cattle to a ranch on Mitchell's Flat, just 15 minutes east of the newly established... What the fuck?

12:27 Well, you know what it is? We didn't do our vocal exercises before.

12:29 We didn't. Yeah, yeah. I love New York.

12:33 I need New York. I love, I need, you need New York.

12:36 I didn't do my vocal exercise of taking a beta blocker, so... That's what's going on here.

12:41 She's just out there on the edge.

12:43 That's right.

12:44 Established, newly established railroad in the town of Marfa, Texas.

12:50 Marfa. Yeah.

12:52 Oh, mixed reviews on Marfa.

12:54 I love it.

12:56 While heading through Paisano Pass, he spots a series of strange glowing orbs on the horizon. The flickering white lights move too quickly to be a campfire. And it's the only explanation the cowboy can think of. It's like a.

13:12 Jesus?

13:14 Jesus. Jesus Christ himself?

13:18 No, it's 1883. They didn't have that yet, I don't think.

13:20 It's kind of a newer thing, yeah.

13:23 I'm not a Bible student. When he goes to look to see what the hell it could be, he finds no signs of a campsite, of what could have explained these orbs. There's no people, there's no ashes, there's no footprints. Obviously, it's not the headlights of a car. It's 1883, guys. Other settlers and railroad workers report the same sightings. Mysterious multicolored orbs hovering the desert just outside of Marfa. Cattlemen drive their herds to the railroad. They use the lights as their guide. And when they see the lights, they know the stockyards are just 20 miles away. And they do whatever you do 20 miles from a stockyard. I don't know. Cowboys ride into the mountains overnight to try to find the source, but the lights always vanish before

14:06 they can be tracked down. The vast open desert makes distances deceptive.

14:11 Sorry, what?

14:12 Distances deceptive.

14:14 I said.

14:14 Deceptive distances. My new band. So catching the lights is impossible. More than a hundred years later, these same lights still appear sporadically on the southern horizon between Alpine and Marfa... And yet these glowing orbs remain as hotly contested a phenomenon as they were in the late 1800s. This is the story of the Marfa ghost lights.

14:35 Wow.

14:38 I've never heard of that.

14:39 No?

14:39 No.

14:39 I have sat on a truck.

14:43 Hood.

14:43 Is that how cars go? And seen them myself.

14:48 Are you serious?

14:48 I swear.

14:49 And they're not fireflies?

14:51 They're not fireflies. Okay. Let me actually, let me explain.

14:55 What if I solve the Marfa ghost lights tonight?

14:57 Oh, shit.

14:58 With just a very simple suggestion.

15:00 It was just two fireflies.

15:01 Just two fireflies hanging out.

15:02 Well, real quick, the main sources for this story are articles from the History Channel, Visit Marfa and the Texas County Reporter, and the rest of the sources can be found on our show notes. And then I went on to our email, where we have thousands and thousands of emails from murderinos, and someone from Marfa explained what they are perfectly in a way that I clearly can't do. So, Kay, a murderino, said... Here's the best description I can give of the lights. They usually present themselves in groups of two or three, sometimes splitting apart like a cell and then merging back together. It's like a teenager with a red light, you know, laser light.

15:38 Cat toy thing?

15:39 Yeah, I guess, like a cat toy, but it's not. And then they move unexpectedly in a way that can only be described as dancing, and they can appear in all sizes and colors, and most importantly, they appear where there has never been a road before. And Kay says, we have spent many nights sitting on the porch, drinking wine, and watching the lights dance and play against the desert landscape.

16:01 And it is like something you would see out of, what was that, Unsolved Mysteries. It's just really weird. They're like kind of blurry, and then they're not.

16:09 And Kay's not scared.

16:11 It's not scary. No, no.

16:12 It's just like lights.

16:13 It's just lights. I think we have a photo of them. Unless it's your photo.

16:16 Yep.

16:17 Ooh. So they like, they ping up and around and they dance, like they do dance. It's really cool.

16:22 And we're sure that's not a Jaguar?

16:24 1883.

16:26 I don't think so. I mean, yeah, it looks like, they go really erratic. So there's no, it doesn't, it wouldn't make sense.

16:34 Did you take this picture?

16:35 I absolutely did not.

16:36 Okay.

16:38 Okay.

16:39 So, mm-mm-mm. As most of you probably know, Marfa is a little town in West Texas, about an hour from Big Bend. It is a tiny town, and it's really artsy and fun and cool, and they have a great vintage dress shop. It was originally founded as a water stop and freight headquarters for the railway lines during their westward expansion of 1883, and that's the very same year Robert Ellison records his first sighting of the flickering lights.

17:08 So before ranching and the railroad become big business, Marfa and the Big Bend region are part of a wide-ranging network of indigenous travel routes, hunting grounds, and spiritual sites. The Muscalero, excuse me, Apache, are telling stories of ghostly campfires, possibly belonging to their ancestors, on distant hills around Marfa.

17:27 So way before we came along and were like, we saw a thing. They're like, no, we saw a thing first. The lights were sometimes said to guide the spirits of the dead on their journey, or to warn the living to stay away from sacred or contested lands. In some Apache tales, the moving lights are interrupted. Nope, interpreted.

17:48 Similar.

17:49 You're fine. Thank you. Interpreted. This is the fucking menopause tour.

17:56 It certainly is.

17:58 I don't know what to do about it.

18:01 I don't.

18:02 Right? It should be brought to you by estradiol, not Uncrustables, but... I don't do self-care.

18:09 What if Uncrustables were the cure for menopause, and this is how it happens?

18:14 We discover it.

18:16 That would be problematic. On many levels, right? In some tales, it's either living or supernatural, and they travel across the plains at night, and the lights vanish if someone approaches. It's the same lights, I bet. Probably. Another story follows an old Alpachi chief Apache chief who gets separated from his people as they travel long ago through the high Chianti mountain country. And legend has it that the chief still roams the hills lighting fires in hopes of signaling his lost tribe. So there's all these like tales behind it.

18:52 Some Pueblo stories describe it as wandering stars or dancing lights. And to the indigenous people of Marfa, lights in the desert at night, especially those that moved, vanished, or changed colors were unquestionably a sign or message the natural spiritual world. It was only in the 20th century that white settlers decided to investigate them scientifically.

19:12 Boo.

19:14 And start coming up with all kinds of theories. So in the early 1920s and 30s, the Marfa lights are a popular topic of curiosity among ranchers, but also with travelers along the newly erected U.S. Route 90, your favorite.

19:28 That's a good one, right?

19:29 So fast. Feel me. Feel my neck.

19:34 Is it hot?

19:34 It's... I'm... Oh, no.

19:37 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

19:41 Just ignore it.

19:41 Okay. Some early observers think that the lights could be mirages created by the temperature. You know, what a mirage. And because it's so freaking hot in the desert.

19:54 It's quite hot here.

19:55 It's hot here.

19:56 It's hot here.

19:57 The desert's intense heat during the day, followed by cool nights. They think it creates layers of hot and cold air, causing light to bend, which it does.

20:05 Yeah.

20:05 Because, you know, we're scientists.

20:07 That's what I've always said.

20:08 Yeah.

20:10 You've always hypothesized that.

20:11 Constantly hypothesizing, no one will listen.

20:16 This bending of light could cause distant car headlights, campfires, or other light sources to appear elevated, distorted, or flickering, much like mirages that you always see on the road to Las Vegas.

20:28 That's right.

20:30 In that one video. Cheryl Crow, thank you very much.

20:36 This is weird, we have glasses of water tonight.

20:38 I know.

20:38 This feels dangerous.

20:40 I feel like we're on NPR or something. These aren't plastic, these are glass. No, these are absolutely crystal. Smash it, see if it's... Smash it! But of course there weren't roads and cars then, so that doesn't make any sense, right?

20:58 Yes.

21:00 Thank you.

21:01 We said yes and no at the same time.

21:03 Who knows?

21:04 But we meant the same thing.

21:05 Yes.

21:05 Which is what's so ironic. Another early proposal is that the lights are products of big, shiny mica bed. Mica or mica? Mica.

21:15 I think mica. Yeah.

21:16 That's my nephew's name. I should know that. But it's not spelled the same way. So don't, I'm not a bad auntie.

21:21 It's also my favorite L'Oreal lipstick from the 80s. Remember mica? It's kind of shimmery purple.

21:27 We got mica lipstick. We got legs. What else do we got?

21:30 We'll keep naming shit. Don't you worry.

21:36 And so, like, maybe it's mineral deposits, that sort of thing. Then on the non-scientific side, other people believe that the lights are will-o'-the-wisps. Have you heard of that? Mm-hmm. Like, yeah? You're from the country? Is it a country thing?

21:50 I was lying, sorry.

21:52 I don't know why I did that. It just felt like I was supposed to. Is Will of the Wisps something to do with fairies or a natural?

22:00 Let me tell you. Atmospheric ghost lights that appear at night, especially over marshes and swamps. In folklore, like that great album, they are often described as mischievous. You like that?

22:17 Yep, you set off the Swifties. That's genius.

22:19 Yes.

22:20 Genius crossover.

22:22 I was in the car with my little younger nephews the other day and they couldn't stop talking about Fortnite. And I was like.

22:29 Oh yeah?

22:30 Have I put Fortnite on? And they were like, this is not what we're fucking talking about.

22:34 And I was like, I know, but it's the same word.

22:36 Isn't that exciting? And they're like, who is this lady?

22:42 Will of the Wisps.

22:43 Yes, Will of the Wisps, they're scientifically, they're mischievous or malevolent spirits leading travelers astray is, yes, exactly what you said.

22:53 They're like, come over here into this weird Prada store out in the middle of nowhere. It's crazy, you won't believe it.

23:02 Scientifically, Will of the Wisps, Will-O-the-Wisps, what?

23:06 Yeah, you have to pronounce it like that.

23:08 Are usually explained by the oxidation of, you guys know this, gases produced by decaying organic matter, like swamp gas. You know what I mean?

23:15 Sure.

23:16 But both of these theories have been debunked as West Texas desert conditions are typically too dry and lack the organic matter to produce significant... Are there scientists here? Humidity... I.

23:28 Think there's a scientist right there.

23:29 Hey! Hey! Say it.

23:32 So you're basically saying no bogs in Texas.

23:35 We don't get to have those.

23:36 That is a country song. There's no bogs in Texas.

23:39 There are no bogs in Texas. Yes.

23:45 She got it.

23:46 We will hit every audience like claptrap button we can.

23:51 That's right. In a theater this big, we don't give a shit.

23:53 There's no shame.

23:56 I mean, if you don't know, there's no shame in this podcast by now.

23:59 You're new. Wow, you're new. You're brand new.

24:01 Thank you for coming and giving us a chance.

24:03 Sorry.

24:05 And sorry. And we're sorry. Also, it could be St. Elmo's Fire, which is a great movie. Yeah.

24:11 Just somebody playing that way in the distance is like, wait a second, is that Rob Lowe playing the saxophone? Or a Willow the Wisp.

24:19 Yes.

24:19 Yes. Then the Roswell incident happens. UFOs, we love them. That happens in 1947, and locals wonder if the Marfa lights. Finally, we get to spacecrafts and aliens. We love them.

24:34 You do. I do.

24:34 That's right. Due to their unexplained movement, obviously, and glowing appearance, many UFO enthusiasts claim that the Marfa lights are aliens monitoring the Earth or using it as a secret landing spot. But, like, it's really obvious. They're not hiding it. It's not, like, secret. You know?

24:51 And also, if they're monitoring us, fucking do something. Like, seriously.

24:56 Right.

24:57 Let's stop the auditing. Fucking step in.

25:01 Yeah. It's like, they're the cutest aliens. They're like, well, you know what I mean? They're doing something adorable for hundreds of fucking years.

25:09 Yeah, they're flying over us being so adorable, and they're like, ew, what are they doing to each other?

25:15 Why are they like this to each other? Oh, seriously.

25:20 So I'm going to go with UFO. But it is fucking weird. Like not every night, but almost every night, these twin little and sometimes more lights.

25:30 So it's always two or more?

25:31 Yeah, or just two.

25:33 Okay.

25:35 I saw two. Everything I saw was two, but people have said they've seen more. Okay. And it's just so mysterious. And then in July 1957, a writer named Paul Moran writes an article called The Mystery of the Texas Ghost Light in Coronet Magazine.

25:50 I love that one. I love trumpets and I always have.

25:56 And this spreads the word about this phenomenon in tiny Texas town, in a tiny Texas town.

26:03 Why'd you say phenomenon like that?

26:05 I don't know. Because I was like, what if you say this douchey and you don't know it until this fucking moment? You know what I mean? I've never said it like in front of a fucking audience. Phenomenon. Right.

26:16 Wait, can I tell the story about Jackie Beat making the best joke of all time?

26:19 It was my first writing job.

26:21 There's an amazing drag queen named Jackie Beat, who was one of the staff members. You might know her. And we were trying to write jokes about the John Travolta movie, Phenomenon. And somebody pitched a very terrible joke, and Jackie goes, oh, come on, Phenomenon. And I was like, well, I'm never going to say anything funnier than that, so.

26:48 So in 1971, minimalist artist Donald Judd visits Marfa and decides to relocate there, buying buildings and land for large-scale art installations. And this is kind of when Marfa starts to become the Marfa we all know and love. Have you guys been to Marfa? A lot of people here? Yeah. Is it like your summer vacation road trip with your parents?

27:11 And you're like, I don't fucking... This is embarrassing.

27:14 I like that you're like, have you guys been to Marfa? Have you, have you 2000 or 3000 people been to Marfa?

27:23 I'm from like Southern California and I've never been to Catalina. Like that's fucking weird.

27:28 I don't know.

27:30 What's your problem?

27:32 But so like Marfa to me reminds me of like, if you haven't gone, you just don't go. It's like a very specific place to go to. It's not like you're driving through to somewhere else and end up there. Right.

27:42 It doesn't lead to anywhere.

27:44 Yeah, it's very specific.

27:46 That's the first time an audience has, in unison, said one answer.

27:50 That's so true.

27:51 It doesn't lead anywhere?

27:52 No.

27:53 No. We hate it. We had to go for field trips. It's scary. Thank you.

28:03 Let's not give individual opinions about Mark. You already said no.

28:10 Um so this dude donald judd goes out and it changes the landscape landscape of marfa attracting artists photographers and writers um and at the same time the university of texas researchers conduct studies on the marfa lights you can cheer for your yeah yeah.

28:28 The fighting oh we're bulldozers.

28:33 We haven't done that one in.

28:34 A long time.

28:35 We haven't done that one in a long time.

28:36 Yeah.

28:38 I was thinking on our way here, like driving through a college campus and being like, for two girls who dropped out of college, this is pretty fucking cool. Yeah. Can't kick us off campus. You could.

28:50 Yeah.

28:50 I don't want to challenge anyone. Okay. So the University of Texas researchers are conducting studies on the Marfa lights and now visitors are coming from all over and staking out informal viewing areas to find the best views of it. So people are finding out about it, and it's getting exciting. And I think the air turned on, and I really appreciate that. Breathe again. It's become such a hot topic that the El Paso Times reports, quote.

29:18 Really? It's that good? I love this newspaper.

29:24 Snap.

29:28 Some people, they say, quote, some people in small towns fight about which town has the best looking women, which town has the best football team, or which town has the most to do. after 7 p.m. But down around Alpine and Marfa, the people fight about whether the lights are caused by something natural or if they're caused from little people from somewhere else, end quote.

29:51 That's very biased writing right there.

29:54 They clearly chose the first.

29:57 Oh.

29:58 Is it caused by something natural?

29:59 Right. Little people doing this and that.

30:02 It's a little condescending.

30:04 I think so.

30:04 Yeah, no, I hear that.

30:06 Who was that writer?

30:07 Just call them on the phone.

30:10 Someone from El Paso Times who's been lost to history.

30:12 Oh. But we have. There he is.

30:18 So his car truck.

30:19 Little hat with the press card right there.

30:21 Aw. One of those cigarette, cigar cigarettes.

30:24 All right, I got the story.

30:27 As car traffic increases, skeptics continually suggest, they won't shut the fuck up, that distant headlights are refracting in the atmosphere.

30:35 They're not.

30:36 I bet you they're not. They're not. Unless they were on stagecoaches, I'm going to go ahead and say no, they're not.

30:42 Distant lanterns refracting.

30:44 No, it's not. This explanation... obviously doesn't work. And also the lights change colors. The single light splits into a bunch of different lights. I mean, it really looks like someone's having a campfire behind the mountains and sparks are coming off of the campfire, but huge, but like big and they're having a lot of fun doing it.

31:03 It's cute.

31:04 It's actually kind of cute.

31:05 Finally, a campfire can have fun.

31:07 A cute campfire. I miss my cats. Okay.

31:14 Thanks a lot, Marfa.

31:19 I did almost start crying when someone had one of my cats on their shirt last night. I know. Okay. In the early 80s, a physicist at University of Texas at Dallas. Yeah. His name was also Donald. Uh-oh. The fighting.

31:38 No, no, no.

31:39 The squabbling.

31:41 Pitchforks.

31:44 Yep. That's right. Donald Bicknell conducts controlled observations in the area, includes that most lights correlated with car headlights and ranch lights from miles away. Other people are like, no, dude, you're wrong. And it's just, you know, I keep telling you guys over and over again. It doesn't make sense.

32:03 It doesn't fucking make sense. In 1890, nope, in 1987. Different, different. I caught myself. The town launches a now annual Marfa Lights Festival. Because anything that happens, we need a festival about it.

32:17 You have to do a festival about it.

32:18 We insist. You see a corndog on the ground?

32:21 It's the corndog festival.

32:23 Corndog times. Where enthusiasts share their experiences seeing the lights at storytelling sessions and local ranchers, artists, and residents lead guided trips around. So Marfa's population is around 2,000, but thousands of people come to town to try to get a glimpse.

32:39 So the locals fucking hate it. I hear you.

32:42 I do think they probably aren't big fans. It's actually a big destination for art, and your favorite activity? Glamping. Glamping. No, she doesn't like it.

32:54 When you started that word, I was like, what the fuck could this be?

32:58 Glam something.

33:00 Glam.

33:01 They've been referenced, the lights have been referenced in a song by the Rolling Stones and on TV shows and shows like The Simpsons, King of the Hill and Tripping Out with Ali and Georgia from 2013 on the Cooking Channel.

33:16 We went to Marfa.

33:17 We had this show, my friend Ali Ward and I had this show where we travel the country and we eat food at little places and trip out. We were going on a trip, get it? And we were like, Marfa, let's go there. And it was really fun. And we saw the lights and we wore vintage dresses and that's it.

33:33 Incredible.

33:34 Thank you.

33:35 Good job.

33:36 Thank you. And you can find it on the, you can find that episode in the depths of the internet. Real, real deep. If you really look, if you want to look.

33:44 They'll find it.

33:45 They'll find it. In the early 2000s, a group of gifted and talented high school students. I don't know why I laughed at that.

33:54 Because we've always laughed at them. Yes.

33:56 Because we weren't them, and so we're a little bitter.

33:59 We're very hurt and embarrassed and ashamed.

34:01 They convinced the Texas Department of Transportation to build an official viewing center. And in 2003, the Martha Mystery Lights Viewing Center opens, and thousands of visitors come every year. I think we have a plaque to show you.

34:19 Well, well, well.

34:21 There's a plaque.

34:23 And that's the viewing center, that RV right back there. Come on in. Giddy in. I love that. So a group of gifted and talented students went and they're like, we'd like to speak to you about a viewing center right now. And it actually worked.

34:39 It did work. Yeah. Yeah.

34:41 Nerds.

34:44 From 2004 to 2008, a Texas State University study uses spectros.

34:51 Texas State. Yeah.

34:54 Oh, no, no, no, no. The raging... Alcoholics.

34:59 Alcoholics.

35:09 Oh, that's right. There's a My Favorite Murder cocktail here tonight. Oh, shit. Are you guys okay?

35:14 Was it good?

35:15 Was it good?

35:15 How are you?

35:16 She's holding her empty glass. You got a lot of cups being held up.

35:21 Nice. This is going to start to be like a Jimmy Buffett concert, and I can't wait.

35:28 What's a Jimmy Buffett concert like? I truly don't know.

35:31 I'm not sure because I'm so stoned when I'm there.

35:33 Oh, God. Busting my flip-flop. You know.

35:36 Got it. So they use spectroscopic analysis, mapping light sources to vehicle locations. Similarly to early studies, they find the lights, again, they're wrong.

35:49 Not connected.

35:50 It's not going to get, there's strong evidence that most modern day sightings are a combination of man-made light sources, mostly headlights being refracted into the air. But we here, my favorite murder, say no.

36:02 We scientifically know better.

36:04 Yeah, we scientifically nope that shit.

36:06 Yeah, nope.

36:07 But some local artists insist on sightings in areas and times with no possible traffic. And of course, Robert Ellison, back in 1883, certainly hadn't seen any cars in the desert that night before Marfa itself became the place to be in 1883. Hey, wait, that rhymes.

36:24 Sing it.

36:25 The plaque at the Marfa Lights Viewing Center details that despite more than 100 years and more than 75 folk tales about their origins... The Marfa ghost lights remain a fascinating unsolved mystery. And that is the story of the Marfa ghost lights. Thank you.

36:45 I just love, it's, I just love the way they're just like, and then 40 years later they study it and they're like, it's cars. And it's like, no, it's not.

36:57 We refuse. Let me tell you how many times they studied it and said it was cars. That's my story tonight.

37:03 That's very cool.

37:04 Now I want to see that.

37:05 They're beautiful. They're really cool.

37:06 I like that people aren't scared of them. They're like, I drink wine, and if we're being attacked by aliens.

37:11 So be it.

37:12 They like, whoa, what's a tailgated phenomenon? You guys love tailgating. That's what I heard.

37:27 Sorry, I'm in the transitional period to get ready for my own story.

37:30 It's your turn now.

37:32 I stopped listening to you three minutes ago.

37:34 I know. I recognize the look in your eyes from my own. It's this, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, shit, shit. Do I know where I am? What am I doing?

37:43 Okay.

37:43 I'm here for it.

37:45 Thank you.

37:47 Great job. Thank you.

37:48 I really liked that one. Thank you.

37:50 It was good.

37:52 Guys, we've got to solve this mystery before the world ends. My story tonight is very different than the Marfa ghost lights. It begins 111 years ago on, I don't know if this math is right, on November 12th, 1914. Okay. Sounds right.

38:10 Sounds right.

38:11 A few miles south of downtown San Antonio.

38:14 Wow. They love it there. They love that river. In a modest cottage once shared by two young nurses, both named Emma. So one of these Emmas had recently got married, someone knows, and they moved out, but she came back to visit her old roommate, Emma. So around four o'clock that afternoon, they're having a visit, and the newly married Emma runs to the neighbor's house screaming and begging for help.

38:45 And as she does, two gunshots ring out from the cottage. The neighbors rush over, fearing that the other Emma has been shot. Instead, they find The single Emma, seemingly in shock, bleeding from a slashed wrist and kneeling beside the body of a dead man, sprawled on the floor. When the authorities arrive, they learn the dead man is one of the richest businessmen in Texas. He's also married, and this may seem a little lazy, but his wife is also named Emma.

39:15 Yes, that's right.

39:16 That's right.

39:17 Wow. Wow. So we're going to go Emma one, two, and three.

39:20 That's fucking right on. Right.

39:22 The entire time.

39:23 These are the first moments of a very Texas true crime story filled with lies, love, murder, beer. and featuring the recurring theme of most of these stories, an awful husband slash boyfriend slash side piece. This is the story of the murder of San Antonio businessman Otto Kaler and the three Emmas in his life.

39:43 Wow.

39:43 Wow. I don't know this one, and I didn't know this one, as you know, because we didn't know each other's stories.

39:52 That's right.

39:53 Everything's a wonderful surprise. The sources that we used in this story today are reporting by the legendary Texas writer Joe Hawley, Money, Murder, Sex, and Beer by Robert L.

40:07 Gulley.

40:09 People love beer.

40:11 And the rest... are in our future show notes that don't exist right now, but will at some time. Look them up when they exist. When they exist, please, and no sooner. Now, let's start with Otto Kahler's backstory. He's born in Germany in the 1850s to a family of humble means. In his 20s, he immigrates to the United States, like so many others chasing the American dream, and he first.

40:34 Lands in St.

40:35 Louis. He gets clerical work at a brewery, and then he stays for a couple years and becomes a naturalized US citizen, which is what we do here, and which is a good thing, and we need.

40:49 It.

40:49 And what the fuck are.

40:54 We doing?

40:56 Right?

40:56 Let me get off my soapbox and start reading off this paper again. He also meets his future wife, the first Emma, Emma Benson.

41:05 Emma!

41:06 And her family is also German.

41:07 And they're named Emma as well.

41:11 Every single member of her family.

41:14 So when Otto and Emma are in their mid-20s, they meet at an event thrown for St.

41:18 Louis' German community.

41:20 And then I wrote, this isn't real, Das Mingelfest. That's not real.

41:28 You have to throw that this year.

41:29 Almost did the thing again. Damn it. I have a new weird tick where I go like this.

41:37 I told her about her new tick and now she can't not do it.

41:40 It's really such a bummer. Oh, I also write Dekinder Jaeger. That was the other event name.

41:47 It's just kindergarten.

41:48 Who knew you were so good at this?

41:50 Well, I just, looked up like, what's a German phrase for a party? And then I just kind of combined all the pieces. German seems kind of easy to learn because everything, you know, it's like kindergarten, child garden. Right.

42:01 You know what I mean?

42:02 Pretty intuitive and user-friendly.

42:07 So the two get married after they meet, obviously, and they move to San Antonio, Texas. Even back in the 19th century, San Antonio is one of the most diverse cities in the United States. with one of the most vibrant German immigrant communities of the time.

42:22 Wow.

42:23 Yeah, people are scared to clap for Germans, but we can clap for diversity.

42:28 It's all fine.

42:28 It's all fine. We're a good faith situation here. So not only that, but Otto senses that there's a real opportunity in San Antonio's booming beer industry, and he is right. So he immediately lands a job at the Lone Star Brewing Company.

42:44 Yeah!

42:47 It's the National Beer of Texas. Hey.

42:50 Yeah.

42:51 So he works there, and he does such a good job that he gains the attention and respect of none other than Adolphus Bush, co-founder of Anheuser-Busch Brewery.

43:01 I bet he's German, right?

43:03 A little bit.

43:03 A little bit.

43:05 And he's also the co-owner of Lone Star Beer. So the fact that he likes Otto is huge. Soon, Otto's rising up the brewery's ranks. And by the time he's 30 years old, he's the general manager at Lone Star.

43:16 Damn, but they also had shorter lifespans then, so don't feel bad about that.

43:20 Yeah, don't compare yourself to Otto.

43:22 You'll never feel good about yourself.

43:24 30 was like middle age back then, and now it's like not.

43:28 Yeah.

43:30 Also, it's like he was running a brewery when he was 30, and I was like, I was just drinking a brewery when I was that age. So all the while that Otto's doing that, his wife Emma is holding down the household while being a doting, devoted wife. So let's take a picture. Let's take a look, Jesus Christ, at the Kalers. Let's take a picture of the Kalers.

43:53 This is Otto and Emma One.

43:56 Hi.

43:56 Hi.

43:57 And they're 30 in this.

43:58 They're both 30. Told you. It was tough times. Tough times.

44:02 Fucking told you.

44:02 In the turn of the century. Wow.

44:05 Look, there was no sunscreen available. There was hardly any water.

44:09 They drank beer instead of water.

44:12 It was just beer.

44:13 And she's got one of those, don't remove my ribbon necklaces. Right? We all know what happens.

44:22 Never remove my ribbon.

44:26 And they borrow each other's glasses.

44:28 All the time. I was going to say, I like that they could both go as each other for Halloween.

44:35 Absolutely.

44:36 Oh my God, that might be the same person. Yeah, they could be actually.

44:40 Wait, that's the big reveal at the end.

44:42 It's all one guy.

44:43 There was never an Emma.

44:44 There's no Emmas.

44:45 There's not a single Emma. I love them.

44:49 Okay.

44:50 So the Cahlers are living, sorry about that, they're living comfortably and they're able, so comfortably that they plan a yearly trip back to the homeland in Germany that goes Usually from spring, so like from May to October.

45:07 Yeah, because you have to take a fucking boat and shit, right?

45:10 Yeah, that's right.

45:10 Ugh. I don't care.

45:12 Heat me.

45:14 Okay.

45:15 To escape the sweltering heat. So in 1886, on the Kaler's annual trip home, Otto buys a lager recipe from a brewery in Bremen. He has to borrow a bunch of money from his family to afford to buy this recipe.

45:30 That'd be good.

45:31 Yeah.

45:31 He's like, well, he gets.

45:32 This feeling where he's like, I tasted that shit beer back in America and we're going to change the game here. So he is hoping that this gamble pays off. So the next year in 1887, Otto has a falling out with the higher-ups at Lone Star. He jumps ship and he goes to work for the San Antonio Brewing Association.

45:53 We can take a look at it right here.

45:54 This is, look at it.

45:59 I see the word ass. Did anyone else just go directly to the word ass?

46:03 That would be.

46:05 I'm a child.

46:06 If we fully produce this, it would be this still, and then that would all fade, and it would just be the word ass up there. So Otto does well here, too. Eventually, he becomes the president of that place.

46:19 Wow, damn.

46:19 And under his leadership, the association builds a state-of-the-art facility that soon begins to produce the lager from that recipe that he bought. And he names that lager Pearl Lager. Okay.

46:33 I haven't had it. I had a Shiner Bock last night. Do you guys like that?

46:39 Okay. Ew!

46:40 I was like, that could be a boo. And I'm just gambling. I'm like rolling the dice with beer.

46:45 And you loved it?

46:46 It was good, yeah. It was really good.

46:46 Did you get in in a big boot?

46:51 Fun.

46:52 It's fun to drink out of shoes.

46:55 That means you're having a party.

46:57 That's how I party.

47:00 Dirty, dirty shoes.

47:01 So in no time, Otto's gamble pays off. People fucking love pearl beer. One local San Antonio newspaper writes that it has, quote, an excellent flavor and quality.

47:13 It's that kind of compelling.

47:15 Journalism that has gotten us through. It also recommends, quote, when you want to find glass of beer, try the City Pearl.

47:25 That's an ad. That's not an article.

47:29 Pearl beer becomes so big that before long, the San Antonio Brewing Association becomes the biggest brewing company.

47:35 In San Antonio.

47:36 Okay.

47:37 Good job.

47:38 Yeah, great. You didn't do it. Maybe.

47:44 I mean, actually, you're right.

47:45 I apologize. I don't know what you've done in your life. The San Antonio Brewing Association has 1,200 employees.

47:52 Whoa.

47:52 That's a lot.

47:53 And they make around $ 500, 000 yearly in revenue, which is about... It's $ 5, 000 in.

47:55 It's like 1918 or so.

47:55 It is $ 43, 000.

47:56 You've gone lower. You've gone....

48:12 You've gone low.

48:13 Shit.

48:14 That's the first time that's happened. Yeah, that's right. Inflation.

48:17 Do you want to play this game or are you trying to sink it?

48:20 We're trying to retire this game.

48:22 You are. And I won't stop doing it.

48:24 Okay, $ 5 million in 19... No.

48:25 What?

48:26 What is it? $ 500, 000.

48:27 Jesus.

48:27 Okay.

48:31 I did the same thing where I was, like, somewhere else. And today's money is $ 1. 9 million. $ 16 million. Fuck!

48:38 See?

48:38 It's so unsatisfying to, like, not even be close.

48:43 Yes. But I think it's very grounding to be wrong.

48:47 I am most of the time. I don't need another.

48:50 Hey, girl, I relate. Okay, so he's making bank, but beer is just the start for Otto Kahler. He buys a luxury health spa.

48:59 A bit south of the city.

49:01 He invests in mining and rubber companies across the border in Mexico. He buys lots and lots of real estate, and he reportedly serves as either, quote, president or director of 15 different operations.

49:13 Jesus, take a fucking break.

49:15 For real, go to that health spa you bought.

49:17 Exactly.

49:18 So by the early 1900s, 1900s and into the 1910s, oh, sorry, I gave you the wrong year.

49:22 It was in the late 1880s.

49:24 See, I probably was right.

49:25 That's the reason. That's the reason.

49:27 That's why.

49:29 So into the 1910s, Otto and Emma are now approaching their 50s, and they are fucking rich like crazy. They have an estimated net worth of around $ 3 million. You want me to just say it?

49:41 Just say it. Yes. Okay. $ 3 million, then I'm going to go is $ 54 million.

49:46 $ 96 million in today's money.

49:48 I mean.

49:49 That's too much money.

49:51 I know.

49:51 It's a lot.

49:52 They're at the top of San Antonio high society. Yeah. They live in a large stone. What's that? I don't know.

49:59 I'm just trying to get through this fucking thing.

50:02 Just kidding.

50:05 They live in a large stone mansion, just steps away from the brewery. So that thing where like you live around the corner from work.

50:10 Also, have you lived near a brewery? They fucking stink. They stink, yeah.

50:14 Right?

50:14 Unless you like hops.

50:16 I used to live around the corner from the Gap and I was always still eight minutes late every single day.

50:22 They hated my fucking guts. So much at the Gap.

50:28 Anyhow.

50:29 You were going to say you could smell it on you.

50:33 Smell those gross jeans. Stone Mansion, I told you about that. It's really close to the brewery. Oh, and in that Stone Mansion, Emma entertains their elite circle of friends and acquaintances.

50:49 She's also very active in different charities. You saw her with the choker.

50:53 She's out and about.

50:56 But then it all comes crashing down.

50:58 Around 1907, Emma gets very sick with an unspecified illness. And the next year, Otto alludes to her illness in a letter saying, quote, Mrs. Kaler is still sick in bed. She has had another attack the night before last, which forced her to go to bed again.

51:15 Is that an attack of, I've been poisoned? Probably.

51:18 Or is it an attack of, I'm so rich, now I'm just fucking lazy. And I'm just going to lay my ass around. No, she was actually sick, sorry. So writer Robert L. Gulley.

51:27 Sorry, lady.

51:28 That's rude.

51:29 Robert L.

51:29 Gulley, the writer, tries to get to the bottom of Emma's sickness in his book Money, Murder, Sex, and Beer. He makes a compelling case that Emma might be receiving treatment for anxiety, depression, or even headaches, and the treatment she's receiving isn't very effective. Oh, God.

51:46 What could it have been back then?

51:47 Right?

51:48 Just zapping the ever-loving shit out of you.

51:50 Yeah.

51:50 Yeah.

51:51 And like literal snake oil, where they're like, we brought the snake in, you kill it, we'll milk it, you drink it, why are you still sick?

52:00 You're hysterical. One of her doctors is a man named Dr.

52:05 Lewis Tallman, or Tallman, and he's a very close friend of Otto's, one of his regular golf buddies. And Gulley's book suggests that he's a quack. Dr. Tallman's treatments include spoon-feeding clients milk and soup.

52:23 I can do it myself, dude.

52:25 No, no, no, I must do it for you.

52:26 And it's not even working. Dr.

52:28 Tallman feeds you.

52:31 Dr. Tallman, he keeps them on bed rest for weeks at a time.

52:36 That's not a problem.

52:40 But his version is he discourages everything except for very small movements.

52:46 You're like, Dr.

52:47 Tallman, can I have some more milk and soup? Really quick, before you go.

52:55 He actually, he even restricts reading.

52:58 Dude.

53:02 Just drink your milk.

53:03 Just drink your milk. There's no TV. There's no podcasting.

53:06 Do not move. You can't even like do a shadow puppet on the wall. Too much movement. This was all meant to neurologically reset the overwhelmed, nervous patient. But we do know from old newspaper reports that Emma was involved in a car crash in 1910. There don't seem to be any surviving records to explain more about that accident.

53:30 But we do know, there's no way I'm going to get these pages apart. Sorry, the story's over. I love you guys.

53:36 Thanks so much. I got to get one of those rubber thumb things. Yep.

53:43 We need so many things.

53:44 We need a lot of things. So Otto believes that Emma needs round-the-clock medical assistance, and he winds up hiring a live-in nurse to look after her, and this is the second of the three Emmas.

53:58 Got it.

53:59 So from here going forward, Otto's wife, Emma Kaler, is Emma number one, and this woman, who's the new nurse, is Emma Dumke, and she is Emma number two.

54:09 Okay.

54:10 And then we just have a, Floating, threatening Emma Three coming up in the distance. So Emma number two, Emma Dumkey, Emma Dumkey, says it right there, Karen, is a pretty brunette German woman in her 20s who Otto hires on the spot after meeting her on one of their vacations to Germany.

54:31 Meanwhile, Emma number one's like, pardon.

54:33 Me, could you step away from her, please? I don't. You guys seem to be hugging and kissing a lot.

54:39 Stop moving, stop moving. You're moving too much.

54:41 I'm sorry, sorry.

54:42 Drink your milk.

54:42 More milk.

54:43 Mm-hmm.

54:50 But little does Emma, number one, know. We do.

54:52 I think I just said it.

54:54 Her husband, Otto, is sleeping with Emma, number two, pretty much immediately after she's hired. Look, sex is natural. Yeah. but it isn't just a physical affair. This is Marin's writing. Otto falls hard for Emma. That old guy that looks like he should be on a bag of oatmeal. He fell so hard for a 20-year-old.

55:22 Oh, who'd have thunk it?

55:23 Oh my God, that's crazy.

55:25 What a romantic.

55:28 Although their relationship is believed to be a consensual one, it's very important to point out the power deferential in this relationship. Otto's 30 years older. He's one of the richest people in Texas. She's a recent.

55:41 Immigrant with no money of her own.

55:43 And Otto's the guy signing her paychecks every week and putting a roof over her head.

55:48 So it is true love for real.

55:52 Do you think it's more or less insulting for your husband that she on you with someone with the exact same fucking name as you?

55:57 Yeah, I think that's, it's passive aggressive is what that is.

56:00 It is. It's also lazy. Yeah, it is.

56:03 Right?

56:03 It's like, I like Emma's.

56:05 Okay. So all that's relevant because in 1911, about a year into Emma number two's nursing job with the Kalers, she tells Otto that she would like to.

56:17 Move out of the house.

56:19 Oh.

56:19 So.

56:20 Deep, deeply in love.

56:23 She is still going to be Emma number one's caregiver, but she doesn't want to live in the house anymore, so Emma number two moves in with a new friend that she's made in San Antonio, also a German nurse. She's in her mid-30s. Her name is Emma Bergermeister. This is Emma number three.

56:41 Bergermeister.

56:42 Here's Emma number three. Oh.

56:44 Oh. Hey. Hey, girl. She looks, like, witty. Doesn't she? She looks like she could do a Jäger bomb.

56:54 Yes, yeah.

56:55 You know?

56:56 She's like, Emma II, let's fucking party, seriously.

57:00 We're just German nurses trying to get by in this crazy world. Yeah.

57:05 Yeah.

57:06 Once the two are roommates, Emma number two tells Emma number three about this affair she's been having with the rich man. It says she's been having with her patient. And I was like, well, that's wrong. And I didn't read the rest of it. Her patient's rich, uber rich husband. So about a month into the new living situation, Otto Kahler buys a cottage and then deeds this cottage to the two Emmas.

57:31 So he gets a little love nest for himself.

57:35 He stops by at least once a week, usually in the evening. And he typically stays for a few hours. And before he arrives, Emma number three Oh, I don't know. She just has to go for a walk and stuff.

57:48 She puts a stocking on the doorknob.

57:52 She puts an old sack of grain on the doorknob.

57:58 And then she goes and just gets so drunk and blurry, like, ugh.

58:02 Jägermeister. Jäger.

58:03 Jägerbomb.

58:04 Jägerbomb.

58:07 This affair lasts for years, during which Otto gives Emma No. 2 a monthly allowance of $ 125. So how much does she get a month in today's money?

58:17 $ 5, 000. Very close, $ 4, 000.

58:18 So close.

58:19 I like it.

58:19 That feels.

58:22 Better.

58:23 That definitely feels better.

58:25 There's no other job in.

58:26 The world where you could guess numbers, be a thousand off, and have people cheer like that for you. What a goddamn miracle this is. We really figured it out. We've really rigged the system for ourselves. That's pretty sweet. So That also seems to be an addition to the paycheck she gets for nursing Emma number one. Oh, wow. She has to spoon feed that milk. You got to pay for that.

58:51 Yeah.

58:52 And then he also gives Emma number.

58:54 Three $ 50 a month just to keep her trap shut. And how much would $ 50 a month be, do you think?

59:03 $ 1, 000. $ 2, 700.

59:04 Fuck.

59:05 See?

59:05 It's just like ups and downs.

59:07 Here's the thing, though, about me.

59:08 Yeah.

59:09 If you paid me twenty seven hundred a month to not talk I couldn't do it could you keep your trap shut for this I'll try no no I.

59:18 Can't sorry you end up owing them money.

59:22 Can I keep a running tap I'm gonna try it again next month I swear to God I'm gonna be so quiet next month So we won't ever know if that $ 50 a month is hush money.

59:33 Or if it's more.

59:35 But Emma number three will later say that this is around the time where she goes on a quote, long ride in Otto's buggy. And those, the lights from the buggy go all the way to Martha. And we've solved it. Boom.

59:54 Here's the thing.

59:55 If you ever do a live podcast, just keep bringing things all the way back around. all of it's all checks that's all you have to do um so on this buggy ride otto reveals his plan he's going to marry emma number two when his gravely ill emma number one finally dies and finally dies is the phrase he uses oh i'm just kidding she finally dies on that one so Otto asks Emma number three, please watch over Emma number two until he is officially a widower and can propose to her.

1:00:31 All that's to say, that could be what the $ 50 is for.

1:00:36 I'm reading this like I've never read it before.

1:00:38 It's such a joy.

1:00:39 So in early 1913, Emma number two meets a young German law school.

1:00:45 They really love to keep to themselves.

1:00:46 Don't they? A young German law school graduate. Named Martin Daschle, they first crossed paths as passengers on a ship heading back to the States from Germany. And by the time that ship docks in New York City, they're engaged.

1:01:03 Oh, shit.

1:01:04 She's like, I really love him and I don't love that other guy.

1:01:07 Yeah, that's how easy it was.

1:01:09 Yeah. Just a few weeks later on April 8th, 1913, Emma number two marries Martin and immediately leaves San Antonio to move in with him in New York City. So... She seems, you know, that's a good one too.

1:01:22 It's a great city.

1:01:25 Seems to have no problem leaving Otto behind.

1:01:27 Sure.

1:01:27 That's tough.

1:01:30 But that's not true for Otto.

1:01:32 When he learns of this unexpected departure, he loses it. He was dead set on marrying Emma number two the moment his wife died. And he's the kind of man who's very used to getting exactly what he wants. So he starts dropping by the cottage and, where Emma number three still lives, and he wastes no time professing his love for Emma number three.

1:01:57 There's your solution.

1:02:00 He even tells her that he's willing to divorce his current wife, Emma number one, right then and there so they can be married, and he says that he will have his lawyers handle everything, and they can just go on a big vacation until the scandal blows over.

1:02:14 Great. Any Emma will do is what this is called.

1:02:16 For real.

1:02:17 For real.

1:02:18 I was like, this is a combination of Newt Gingrich and Ted Cruz.

1:02:22 But let's not be political.

1:02:26 Not tonight. Not tonight.

1:02:28 Not in.

1:02:32 Texas.

1:02:32 Some people love to leave town. Here's the thing.

1:02:36 Emma number three tells Otto, hey, no, thanks. I do not want to marry you. Um, she says she will later say she was put off by the whole idea and said, quote, I couldn't think of leaving a sick wife behind to regret.

1:02:51 End quote.

1:02:52 Oh, she has morals.

1:02:53 Yeah.

1:02:53 Oh my God.

1:02:54 Yeah. So what's interesting is that she, Emma number three, is willing to have an affair with him.

1:03:00 Oh.

1:03:00 Yeah. Got it. So Otto goes back to his same routine. He stops by the cottage once a week. He doesn't have to go anywhere new.

1:03:08 He doesn't care.

1:03:09 He doesn't have to learn a new name. He's right in there.

1:03:12 Simple, easy, sexy.

1:03:14 It's got to.

1:03:16 Feel great to be the third one. Whatever.

1:03:23 Eventually Emma number three actually develops real feelings for Otto. And she will later say, quote, I tried to keep my love down, but it kept growing.

1:03:32 Keep it down.

1:03:33 Keep it down.

1:03:34 Keep it down.

1:03:35 Off the couch. Keep it off the couch. It's like a dog. I tried to keep him down. Down.

1:03:40 Down, Emma. But in May of 1914, which is about a year into the Emma No. 3 auto affairs beginning, his energy changes. We've all been there. This happens right before Otto and Emma No. 1 are about to go on their annual trip back to Germany, which lasts for six months, and Unlike the previous year, he does not make arrangements to have Emma number three join them overseas.

1:04:08 Big red flag.

1:04:09 So before the Kalers head over, Otto comes to Emma and he gives her two bank notes. I'm sorry, Emma number three. He gives her two bank notes worth $ 10, 000 each. Mm-mm-mm. It's $ 700, 000 in today's money.

1:04:25 Okay. Wow.

1:04:26 Otto explains this money is to protect her financially in case something happens to him while he's abroad.

1:04:32 Like I stop loving you?

1:04:34 Like I just don't like you anymore. But a more jaded person would say this is breakup money. Doubling is hush money, which would make sense since at the time the United States is heading toward prohibition. So... Noah! Stop it! Someone had a specialty beverage outside.

1:04:55 Yeah, yeah.

1:04:56 A couple.

1:04:59 Wow!

1:04:59 Prohibition! Carrie Nation's here, ladies and gentlemen. Enjoy. Here we go. Otto is spending a lot of his time having to lobby lawmakers about the sanctity of beer.

1:05:14 Oh, sure. I forgot about that part.

1:05:15 Right?

1:05:16 And all the Emmas.

1:05:17 Yeah.

1:05:17 All the Emmas.

1:05:18 So he's like going to his government representatives and he's like, we love beer, we love Jesus, we love whatever thing will make you believe that we're good people and we can keep doing business.

1:05:31 Right.

1:05:32 He has to maintain the best image possible for the future of the brewery.

1:05:36 Of beer.

1:05:37 And all of his other financial interests. So trying to buy Emma number three's cooperation and silence as he builds tries to crab walk sideways out of the affair, is very likely what this money is about.

1:05:50 But he makes a terrible mistake. Do you want to guess.

1:05:53 What it is?

1:05:54 He forgot to sign the check.

1:05:58 That old trick. He just leaves and ghosts her entirely.

1:06:02 And will not talk to her.

1:06:04 He doesn't make a single attempt to reach out to her.

1:06:07 He doesn't write a letter, doesn't.

1:06:08 Send a postcard.

1:06:10 How many attempts were there back then to write a letter?

1:06:12 I guess you could maybe try to invent the telegraph if it hasn't been invented already.

1:06:17 Smoke signals, I don't know.

1:06:19 You could just start a rumor and hope it gets to America. Yeah. And this is when Emma Three realizes that she's been dumped and she is devastated. And this is why it is so important to keep context in mind when you're, for example, hooking up with a man you met while he was hooking up with your roommate who, when she dumped him, immediately came to you and offered to divorce his sickly bedridden wife and leave town to avoid the scandal. Sorry. Oh, thanks. Thanks.

1:06:50 There were no clues.

1:06:51 She had no idea this was going to happen.

1:06:55 I thought he was amazing. Anyway, Emma number three is devastated and probably very pissed, so when the Kalers return from their long vacation that October, Emma number three hires a private detective to follow Otto around.

1:07:09 Ooh, I've never done that, thank fucking God.

1:07:11 Really? No.

1:07:14 My friend and I have stalked someone together, but I didn't hire someone. And I was 19.

1:07:21 It was cute. Where did you have to follow him?

1:07:23 Where was he going?

1:07:25 No, it didn't really happen. Yeah, come on. I mean, yeah, I was like, oh, my God, there he is with his girlfriend. He didn't tell me he had a fucking girlfriend. Like that kind of thing. Wow. Yeah. Like, you know, I'd go to dance clubs and stuff that I knew.

1:07:37 And then did you walk up and be like, Willoughby, did you do one of those?

1:07:42 I did. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

1:07:43 We all did. I just love that she's hiring a private detective with basically his money to follow him around.

1:07:50 Sure.

1:07:50 To bust him.

1:07:52 So it seems the PI confirms that those suspicions are correct because Emma number three sends a telegram to Emma number two in New York City.

1:08:01 Saying exactly that.

1:08:03 Okay. So he's got another young Emma on the line. So this is an awkward scenario. Emma number two is also Otto's ex-girlfriend.

1:08:12 So gross.

1:08:13 Gross.

1:08:14 Sloppy seconds.

1:08:15 But Emma number three will later say that her friend Emma number two simply, quote, felt sorry for me, which seems to be true because Emma number two takes a trip down to San Antonio to be.

1:08:28 There for her heartbroken friend.

1:08:29 Oh, that's nice.

1:08:30 I know, right?

1:08:31 Yeah.

1:08:32 So now it's November of 1914. Oh, right.

1:08:35 Okay.

1:08:36 What?

1:08:37 We're back at the.

1:08:37 We're back.

1:08:38 Okay.

1:08:39 So it's November 1914. Emma number two has arrived in San Antonio. It's the afternoon of November 12th. She goes to the San Antonio Brewing Association to see her old rich ex. And during this meeting, she, Emma number two, asks Otto to stop by the cottage that night to meet with her. Emma number three, and he agrees. Shortly after he arrives, it all goes sideways. According to Emma number three, Otto immediately walks into her bedroom tries to kiss her. She pushes him away because she's still so angry with him. She hired a private investigator to follow him around.

1:09:18 Oh, she's pissed.

1:09:19 This situation escalates to Otto yelling at Emma number three, calling her, quote, sick and crazy.

1:09:26 And Emma, I thought that's how you liked him, Otto.

1:09:29 Just a.

1:09:32 Little bit of milk.

1:09:34 And Emma number three yells back, quote, God will punish you for all you have done. And Emma number three says that Otto then grabs her and shakes her, but she manages to get away and run into an adjoining room because that's where she keeps her gun.

1:09:50 Oh, shit.

1:09:51 And this is when Emma number two runs over to the neighbor's house screaming for help. Back in the cottage, according to Emma number three, who is the only one who ever gets to say what happened, she heads back into that bedroom, but now Otto's standing there with his gun trained on her, and she's thinking he's gonna shoot her, so she fires several times, and 58-year-old Otto Kaler, 58. Like, 97-year-old, oh, I'm sorry, it's 58-year-old Otto Kaler is shot in the head, neck, and chest. Damn. So when Emma number three realizes that this man is dead, she claims that she tries to shoot herself, but she misses, and.

1:10:41 You'd think she wasn't a good shot, but guess what?

1:10:44 I mean, pretty good when it's going this way. Not that great when it's coming back this way. A district attorney will later say, quote, your aim was better at Mr. Kaler than with yourself.

1:10:55 Yeah.

1:10:56 That's right, sir.

1:10:58 So Emma number three grabs a knife and slashes her wrists. But Emma number two and the neighbors run through the door right at that moment.

1:11:05 They save her.

1:11:07 And when the police arrive, Emma number three tells them, quote, I am sorry.

1:11:11 But I had to kill him.

1:11:13 Wow.

1:11:14 She tells the police that to their face.

1:11:17 A scorned Emma.

1:11:18 Yeah. Don't fuck with those Emmas. Both she and Emma number two are arrested on the spot. So after Otto Kahler is officially pronounced dead, the authorities decide that it's best not to tell Emma number one, Emma Kaler, because they're afraid the enormity of this situation will kill her immediately.

1:11:38 Yeah, there's a lot of details to find out at that moment.

1:11:40 Yeah.

1:11:41 They're like, let's not. Yeah.

1:11:43 It's going to definitely inspire a bunch of movement.

1:11:45 That's for sure.

1:11:46 She's like, what?

1:11:49 Yeah. She's been so still for so long.

1:11:52 So still.

1:11:53 It's crack, crack, crack.

1:11:54 Yeah.

1:11:57 So she is not informed about her husband's death for an entire week.

1:12:01 Wow. Yeah.

1:12:02 They just put it off.

1:12:03 They're like, I don't know.

1:12:04 I don't feel like telling her.

1:12:06 So since the Caglers don't have children, Otto's brothers from out of town and his business associates step in to handle his affairs, and they do it very quietly because they're trying everything they can to avoid scandal because now everything is on the line, along with Prohibition looming and the San Antonio Brewing Association lobbying hard to protect its business.

1:12:27 World War I is raging overseas, so... Anti-German sentiment is at an all-time high in America, except for at this show that I have started tonight. So a shocking extramarital love triangle murder involving a multi-millionaire beer executive where every player has a German surname is the ultimate PR disaster.

1:12:50 And not just for the brewery. It's bad for anyone whose business interests are tied up with autos, and he has many rich and powerful business interests.

1:13:00 So.

1:13:00 the situation has to be handled.

1:13:02 Very, very carefully.

1:13:03 So two of Otto's friends step in to act as Emma two and three's lawyers. The dead man's friends are the lawyers. Right away, they get the charges against Emma number two dropped and her involvement in the whole saga is scrubbed.

1:13:19 Doesn't sound like she had much involvement to begin with.

1:13:21 Yeah, she just, yeah, she just fucked an old guy. She's like, do I have to pay for this forever? Can I just have my life? She actually doesn't have to testify. She goes back to New York, returns to a quiet life with her husband. And this is a huge win for Otto's colleagues because they don't want any salacious information affecting their bottom lines. The next insane thing that happens is newspaper reports from right after the murder claim that Otto's friends and family do not want to press.

1:13:51 Charges for his murder.

1:13:54 Wow. So the problem with that is that, you know, on the scene, Emma Three was like, I had to kill him. I fucking had.

1:14:01 To kill him. This is why you keep your mouth shut.

1:14:04 Sip it. Talk to no one. So there's no avoiding it. All powerful German connections aside, she must stand trial. And that trial is set to begin on February 1st, 1915. But, and I have to say, I do kind of love this, she's a no-show.

1:14:21 What?

1:14:23 Oops, she lived eight minutes away and she didn't show up.

1:14:27 I cannot go to my murder trial today.

1:14:31 Feel like it. Let's get high. Listen to records. Her lawyer, who's an old friend of Otto's, stands up in court and reads a letter that she allegedly wrote claiming that Emma Bumgardner, that's Emma number three, has left San Antonio and gone back to Germany to serve as a nurse for.

1:14:49 The soldiers in World War I.

1:14:51 Okay.

1:14:51 That's passive aggression.

1:14:54 It's believed that Emma number three has been strong-armed into doing this to ensure that she cannot testify.

1:14:59 Yeah.

1:15:00 The problem with that is that when she arrives in Germany, they see that she's a naturalized American citizen, and they do not want her, and they send her back. Fuck. Like, dude. Emma number three doesn't return to San Antonio right away, though.

1:15:16 She goes to New York and lives there for a couple years.

1:15:19 Emma number two is like, get this fucking bitch away from me.

1:15:22 You are the craziest friend I should have never made.

1:15:25 Yeah.

1:15:28 All the while, Emma number three is desperate to clear her name, so in October of 1917, about three years after Otto's murder, she goes back to Texas, gets a new lawyer, good, and turns herself in to the police. But there's now a new twist in this twist-filled case, an Emma-filled case. Otto's widow, the first Emma, Emma Kaler, has since her husband's murder made a miraculous recovery.

1:15:57 Am I number one?

1:15:58 Back at it? Yep.

1:15:59 All right.

1:16:00 She's like, wow, I suddenly don't want to hide in my bed all day.

1:16:04 Yeah, it's so weird.

1:16:05 I suddenly don't hate my life anymore.

1:16:08 And I don't want any more milk.

1:16:12 We don't know how or why it's possible specifically, but writer Robert L. Gulley has posited that maybe Dr. Tallman... And his quack treatments was actually contributing to her years-long condition with his, you know, milk and not moving.

1:16:30 And her health improving.

1:16:32 Quote, may be attributable simply to the cessation of Dr.

1:16:36 Tallman's treatment.

1:16:37 So Gulley, the writer, also entertains the theory that Otto knew these treatments weren't helping his wife. In fact, he saw that they weakened and incapacitated her and his, quote, dalliances contributed to his enthusiasm for Dr.

1:16:52 Tallman and his cures.

1:16:53 We think so.

1:16:54 Yeah.

1:16:54 That's what we all think.

1:16:54 We think that's kind of what happened all the time. Anyway, so on January 14th, 1918, Emma number three, her trial finally kicks off and it receives national media attention.

1:17:07 Here's an article about it. So, look, there's Otto. Emma number three. There's Emma number two, right there.

1:17:16 That's her.

1:17:17 She looks haunted.

1:17:20 Doesn't she? She looks fucking over it.

1:17:22 She's like, fuck.

1:17:23 Why did I get these matching Emma tattoos with this bitch?

1:17:29 It was fun at first, but oh my god.

1:17:31 I know, I have E-M and she has M-A. And I don't even want to hold my arm up next to her.

1:17:36 And I just need to turn it into a weird sunflower or something because I don't like this. Yeah. Also, I love that they, in this article, it just included Otto's mansion.

1:17:45 Shit.

1:17:45 It's just like, it didn't happen there. They're just like, he lives in this fucking huge house.

1:17:50 Look at this guy.

1:17:51 Oh, and the headline there, it reads, millionaire San Antonio brewer slain by pretty nurse in love mystery, which grows deeper.

1:17:59 Yeah.

1:18:02 It also claims that Emma number three is the one who shot Otto because she believed he was going to shoot Emma number two, which doesn't line up with Emma number three's story.

1:18:12 So that's what the mystery is all about.

1:18:16 Anyway, at this point, Emma number one knows everything, not just the fact of her husband's murder, but then all the affairs, Emma, Emma, Emma, Emma, which is hard enough for her. But then considering Emma number two was supposed to be a very close friend of hers and someone, her caretaker, it's a betrayal upon betrayal on top of grief with a little bit of shame because we always got to do shame. And so when the trial starts, Emma number three makes a big impression in court. She's reportedly dressed in a quote, plain brown coat suit. I'm so sorry to really put that together she makes a big impression she's dressed in plain brown but i think what they meant is she's got a black hat with a veil and then on the stage she's a goth

1:19:04 And on the stand, she delivers what reporters describe as, quote, the story of her life, a story of one of life's unfortunates. There was too many ones and lives in there. That was much, much too hard. Okay, so M number three's testimony is emotionally resonant, and it's maybe even a bit theatrical. At times, people in the gallery clap after she testifies.

1:19:26 That's not allowed.

1:19:26 You're not supposed to do that.

1:19:27 You don't know that.

1:19:28 At other times, they audibly weep.

1:19:31 Oh, my God.

1:19:34 A brown suit? What are you doing with a black veil? In the end, Emma number three paints a very convincing picture of killing Otto strictly in self-defense, and she closes her testimony by confidently saying, quote, I've never doubted I would be acquitted.

1:19:55 Mic drop.

1:19:56 And then she peaces out, flips her veil up, sticks her tongue out. And on January 21st, 1918, the jury finds her not guilty. So she, that's what we call manifesting, ladies and gentlemen.

1:20:14 Vision board, say it, see it, live it.

1:20:17 Shortly after Otto's death, as Emma Kaler's health rapidly improves, she gets into his many business dealings, including the brewery.

1:20:26 Girl.

1:20:27 At So at first she isn't running the business, but she is its largest stakeholder and she has genuine say over how it's run. But by 1921, by 1921, she's serving as its president. And by this point, but this is what's cool. So prohibition of course gets passed, but Emma, so she's like, we have to keep this brewery running and we have to keep all these employees, you know, like employed. Um, so what she does is pivot the business away from beer. She starts bottling water, juice, soda, ice cream, butter, and even a near beer. They make like fake beer, non-alcoholic beer, a drink called La Perla.

1:21:12 So it's like a, it's a little reference.

1:21:14 Yeah.

1:21:14 She promises her staff that she will not lay off one single employee during this very tense time in the industry. Wow. So when, right. Pretty nice. So when she has to, she invests her own money back into.

1:21:28 The brewery to keep it going.

1:21:30 Good for her.

1:21:31 During Prohibition, most of the breweries in Texas go under, not the San Antonio Brewing Association. Emma Kaler keeps it alive, and when Prohibition ends, they haven't missed a beat. They go right back to brewing beer, and their Pearl beer is immediately the most popular beer again. Oh, my God. She goes right back.

1:21:54 Love it.

1:21:54 Let's take a look at Emma and her beautiful pearl beer. Yes. Yes.

1:22:03 Oh, look at that pearl necklace.

1:22:07 Oh, yeah.

1:22:07 That costs a lot of money.

1:22:09 Oh, yeah.

1:22:09 Good for her.

1:22:10 I think that dress.

1:22:12 Everything.

1:22:13 She's clearly dripping in diamonds and pearls. Diamonds. And she's like, hey, y'all.

1:22:20 Hey, y'all, drink this beer.

1:22:23 I mean, hell yes.

1:22:25 I mean, truly, from years of like, God, I wish I could get up.

1:22:28 And now she's like, give me that fucking beer right now. So eventually, Emma turns the reins of the business over to her nephews, who take over the brewery once she retires, and it's eventually bought out by a little company you might have heard.

1:22:43 Of, Pabst.

1:22:43 On April 26, 1943, Emma Kaler passes away in San Antonio at the age of 85.

1:22:53 And don't applaud for that, you're disgusting.

1:22:58 More than half a century later, around the year 2000, the San Antonio Brewing Association shutters once and for all. The production of pearl beer is halted for about two decades. And then in 2020, Pabst relaunches it on a much smaller scale. So you can get it, I think. Not long after the brewery, I didn't look that up. Not long after the brewery shuts down, a developer buys the property and turns it into a commercial center now known as the Pearl. So it has shops and restaurants and a farmer's market. And the centerpiece of the Pearl is a world-class hotel that opens in 2015 called Hotel Emma.

1:23:40 Can you look at that?

1:23:43 This is the lobby.

1:23:47 So that's the original. Yeah, the stuff from the brewery, but that's in the fucking lobby. You guys, good job.

1:23:54 I love it.

1:23:54 People get so drunk at the hotel, Emma. This hotel has done an amazing job preserving many of the original brewery features as well as its lesser known history. Today at the Hotel Emma, you can order a cocktail at its gorgeous bar that honors all three Emmas in one glass.

1:24:15 It's called the Three Emmas.

1:24:17 And the hotel's vice president of marketing, Beth Smith, says, quote, Grapefruit, the Texas fruit, is part of the base. Emma number one, the wife, is represented with a pearl beer with rose syrup. Emma number two, Emma Dunkey, is represented with sherry. And Emma number three, Emma Bergermeister, is gin. We have a little saying that one is great, but three will kill you.

1:24:42 And that's the story of the San Antonio beer titan, Otto Kaler.

1:24:48 Yay!

1:24:53 Excellent.

1:24:55 Excellent.

1:24:55 That's a nice one.

1:24:56 Great job.

1:24:57 Thank you.

1:24:58 Wow. Do we have time for our home team?

1:25:04 Let's do it. Let's do it.

1:25:17 Did somebody say past? Vince Abrel, everybody. Vince Abrel is right here.

1:25:24 All right.

1:25:27 I come bearing no anecdote tonight. I don't have any anecdotes to share.

1:25:30 I'm just here to facilitate and make sure that the person you picked is lucid.

1:25:35 I'll be right there.

1:25:37 Do your best.

1:25:39 Thanks so much. Thank you, Vince. Okay, we're going to tell you a couple rules real quick. I know that everybody gets very excited about this part, but you should adhere to some rules.

1:25:47 We're going to do a hometown. Make sure it's from Texas.

1:25:49 Please.

1:25:50 That's what people like.

1:25:52 The more local, the better.

1:25:53 That's great.

1:25:54 Also, don't be so drunk you can't tell your own story. Don't read off paper.

1:25:58 Beginning, middle, end.

1:25:59 Beginning, middle, end. Make sure it's good.

1:26:01 Yeah.

1:26:02 And good luck.

1:26:03 And good luck, ladies and gentlemen. We're just going to pick the hometown right now. Let's see.

1:26:09 Okay, yeah, and the costume, whatever it is. Come here.

1:26:12 What's your name?

1:26:13 My name's Erin. Hi, Erin.

1:26:16 Is that a beaver?

1:26:17 Nice to meet you. This is Erin, everybody. Erin.

1:26:19 Nice to meet you.

1:26:22 Tell us about your costume.

1:26:23 Okay, so... My story revolved, I was wearing this costume when I carried a dead body one time.

1:26:30 Oh my God.

1:26:32 You picked her, you were pointing at her, so this is all on you.

1:26:36 Is it like a reference to anything?

1:26:39 Well, so I thought it was a moose costume this whole time, but I think it's a reindeer.

1:26:43 I was going to go Bucky Beaver, but I don't think so.

1:26:46 You guys are just wearing pajamas, right? That's kind of what you did?

1:26:52 Yeah.

1:26:52 No, I'm staying with my older sister like 15 minutes away. I grew up in Austin. And she was like, I was like, I'm going to try to jump up and I'm trying to say my story.

1:27:01 And she goes, and what are you wearing?

1:27:04 I really second-guessed it.

1:27:07 But here you are.

1:27:08 But okay, this happened in 2021, one of the two like big Texas freezes that we had. This was like February 16th. Y'all know what I'm talking about? Okay, so Valentine's Day of that year, my roommate, her boyfriend stood her up on Valentine's Day, very sad, blasted Paramore through the entire house, was running around and I was like, go Kelly, like get it.

1:27:35 And then she kicked the step.

1:27:38 And I heard a snap.

1:27:39 Oh, and she died and you had to carry her body? That's terrible.

1:27:44 Unfortunately, that's just a small part of the story. It has nothing to do with her, but that's a reference.

1:27:48 Okay.

1:27:49 So then two days later, I hate, I hate like not control, you know, being out of control. And I was planning on going to visit my twin sister in North Carolina.

1:28:00 Okay.

1:28:00 But all the flights were canceled. So all my friends were like, we're going to go to a place that has power and warmth. And I said, y'all go. I'm going to stay overnight, and I'm going to be in the warmth, okay? So I'm home alone. It's freezing. I started a fire, whatever. Next morning, so all my roommates are gone. I get this knock on my door early in the morning, and I'm like, what the heck is that?

1:28:23 I'm packing to get out of this place, you know? Opens the door. It's my neighbor, and she says, I think my husband's dead.

1:28:31 How old is she?

1:28:32 She's about, what? Betty, she was like, she was 78.

1:28:36 Okay.

1:28:37 78. Okay.

1:28:37 Oh.

1:28:40 Beautiful, wonderful. She was wearing flip flops. And like, I was like, and okay. And so I wear, so all night and there was no power. So I was wearing this, sweatpants, dolphin slippers, a bomber jacket from World War II that I just got gifted.

1:28:57 And so I'm not thinking about anything.

1:29:00 So the first thing I said, oh my gosh, come in, come in. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I give her my dolphin slippers. I give her my bomber jacket. I'm thinking like her husband died overnight. And then she goes, so your roommate broke her foot. I was like, Betty, what?

1:29:14 You said your husband's dead.

1:29:16 And so what happened was I was like, oh my gosh, it's right now. So I give her that. I said, I'm going to go over. So I'm running over. I feel like I'm in Fargo. Like I'm wearing, I'm right now. So they gave that away. I'm a moose in sweatpants and I'm running across and I have 911 on the phone on hold for four minutes. Okay. And I find him in a lawn chair in the living room and like, He's still alive. I couldn't give him CPR because like, he was like a six, two dude. And it would have been dangerous to put him down in the lawn chair and like this kind of ground, you know? Yeah.

1:29:48 And so I'm just like waiting there. And finally, uh, the EMTs.

1:29:54 Yes.

1:29:54 That's what they're called. They come in there, take like seven minutes to put on their COVID gear.

1:29:59 And I'm like, Like he's in there.

1:30:01 That is important.

1:30:02 Yes, it was important.

1:30:03 And then Betty comes over. So she has a dolphin slippers and the, and the jacket and I'm like this. And then the whole time they're trying to save his life. And she goes like, I told him to go to the doctor. I just said that.

1:30:14 And I'm just like, she's mad at him.

1:30:17 And she goes, yeah, but the thing was when he died, she was making tea.

1:30:22 Well, you know, grief has all kinds of forms.

1:30:25 Yeah, it does, it does, it does.

1:30:26 It comes out in different ways.

1:30:27 Yeah.

1:30:28 How did you get to carry this man?

1:30:30 Oh, sorry, yes.

1:30:31 That's okay.

1:30:32 So, along with the four minutes on hold, it was because of how devastating, like, this time was. Like, Texas homes and all that are not built for this kind of weather. And so, there was a lot of tragedy. Like, the reason we called, they didn't have any children, and we called all these funeral homes, and we're like, we need someone and no one could pick them up for like a couple of days.

1:30:56 Oh, it was horrible.

1:30:57 Yeah.

1:30:57 And we finally found one that could pick them up in like six hours, but they, uh, finally send someone and they sent, uh, someone that looks like the beautiful late actor, like Leslie Jones.

1:31:12 Leslie Jones, who was on SNL.

1:31:14 Yeah. Like this tall.

1:31:15 She's alive. No, wait, let, uh, Leslie Jordan.

1:31:20 Leslie Jordan.

1:31:21 Yeah.

1:31:21 Leslie Jordan.

1:31:22 Leslie Jordan.

1:31:23 Also, an amazing....

1:31:28 Love her.

1:31:29 Love her. Wrap it up. Okay.

1:31:31 This tall. Okay?

1:31:33 To carry the big man.

1:31:33 Oh, yes, yes, yes.

1:31:34 And so he says, I'm going to need a couple able-bodied women. And so we had to carry him. Luckily, he was a veteran, so we got to put the flag over him. Yeah, his name was Dean James. A wonderful man.

1:31:48 All right.

1:31:49 And we put him in there.

1:31:51 Well, good job getting in there. She didn't kill him.

1:31:55 Okay, good. She didn't kill him.

1:31:56 She was making tea.

1:31:58 She was making tea.

1:31:59 She just was mad that he never went to the doctor.

1:32:01 You know what you did? You just earned yourself an Uncrustable, my friend. Oh, my God. Yeah.

1:32:06 Yeah.

1:32:08 And a hot dog. Amazing job. Giving me a track. Absolutely. Great job. Great job. Was it a donkey?

1:32:22 Donkey. Wow.

1:32:25 You're not going to give this?

1:32:26 I don't know.

1:32:27 It got lost in the.

1:32:29 I think you deserve this too.

1:32:30 We have a stress hot dogs, the merch booth, because of course we do.

1:32:37 Great job.

1:32:40 Unbelievable.

1:32:41 What a hang.

1:32:42 Yeah. Texas, Austin. Wow. Thank you for two incredible shows.

1:32:49 And there's I mean, can I just say this?

1:32:52 When we very first started this podcast and we very first went on tour, our touring agent was like, here's the places you have to hit because this is where you have the most listeners.

1:33:01 And when he said Texas, we were like, no, that's crazy.

1:33:05 And Texas was like number one. We're like, they don't like us.

1:33:07 There's no way they like us. We're from Los Angeles.

1:33:13 So we knew this.

1:33:14 Tour, we wanted it to be a little shorter than our usual that are insane and never stop.

1:33:19 Right.

1:33:19 So if we're going to come back to Texas, sorry, we want to come to Austin. So thank you so much. We love this town.

1:33:26 We do.

1:33:27 Thank you. Thank you, guys.

1:33:30 We're just so happy to be here. Thank you for being with us through all the craziness all these years. It's been almost 10 years of this podcast. And we really appreciate all of you and your passion and your love and your wonderful anecdotes. Stay sexy.

1:33:50 Bye, Austin.

1:33:52 Elvis, do you want a cookie?

1:34:01 This has been an Exactly Right production.

1:34:03 Our managing producer is Molly Smith.

1:34:05 Our consulting producer is Kate Schellenbach.

1:34:07 Our creative lead is Allison Agosti.

1:34:09 Our associate producer is Tessa Hughes, and our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

1:34:13 This episode was mixed by Liana Squalacci.

1:34:16 Our researchers are Maren McGlashan and Allie Elkin.

1:34:18 Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com and follow the show on Instagram at myfavoritemurder.

1:34:24 Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts.

1:34:28 Or wherever you get your podcasts.

1:34:29 Or watch new episodes every week on Netflix. Search for My Favorite Murder, add us to your list, and hit the double thumbs up button. Goodbye.