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In this week’s episode of Not Alone, Valeria sits down with clinical psychologist and friendship expert Christie Ferrari to unpack the complicated world of adult friendships. They explore why friends can feel so different after childhood, and why we sometimes fight to keep certain people in our lives while letting go of others. Christie introduces the concept of growth flags vs. red flags and helps us identify what healthy, evolving friendships look like versus the ones that may be holding us back.
Together, Valeria and Christie dive into questions we all face: What kind of friend am I? Am I a fringe friend? How do I deal with “mean girls” even as an adult? From cultural differences in how friendships form, to tips for approaching conflict, to understanding when it’s time to quietly distance yourself, this conversation offers both validation and practical tools for navigating relationships. If you’ve ever questioned your place in a friend group or wondered how to deepen your connections, this episode is a must-listen.
Follow Christie on Social Media
Instagram: instagram.com/christie_ferrari/?hl=en
TikTok: tiktok.com/@christieferrari?lang=en
Website: christieferrari.com
Subscribe to Assertive You: christieferrari.com/assertive-you
Book a session with Christie: christieferrari.com/services
Shop my look from this episode: shopmy.us/shop/collections/2205029
Follow me: instagram.com/valerialipovetsky
What we talked about:
- Valeria sets up the episode about friendships
- Start of the conversation
- Introducing Christie Ferrari
- Why adult friendships seem so different
- Why we work for friendships & why we let them go
- Growth flags vs red flags
- Understanding what kind of friend you are
- Clearstem Ad
- Vuori Ad
- Christie’s draw to studying friendships
- The importance of being assertive
- What is a fringe friend?
- Helping a fringe friend
- Tips to find good friends
- Christie’s story on being a fringe friend
- Dealing with Mean Girls
- Why Mean Girls exist in adulthood
- Cultural friendship differences
- How Mean Girls lose power
- Approaching a friend with an issue
- When to let a friendship go
- Quiet distancing
- Mourning friendships
- Having more than one “best friend”
- Trying a friendship reset
- What healthy friendships look like
- Men’s reactions to female friendships
- Why friendships are easier in your 20s
- Underrated green flags
- Rapid Fire Questions
- Christie’s Reading Rec
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