My wife HUMILIATED me for being happy with my job... and now she wants a divorce! r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3067

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0:12 My wife humiliated me for being happy with my job.

0:17 And now she wants a divorce.

0:19 That doesn't sound like a happy ending to me. I, 35 male, love my job.

0:25 It's close to home and has flexible hours. The pay ain't bad either. considering I have no degree. My wife, 28 female, and I, with our income, can't afford a good living. We have two kids, a son and daughter. My son is four. We had a kid early on before marriage. It was a happy accident. And my daughter, too.

0:45 We were talking Friday, and I mentioned my boss was leaving. My wife asked if I was going to take his spot. I laughed and said, heck effing no.

0:55 Who wants it?

0:57 This led to a fight. My wife accused me of lacking ambition and said I'm boring for just accepting things in life. She said it's insane. She has to be the breadwinner. She has to claw her way up the corporate ladder. She's ambitious. She constantly takes overtime and tries to get promoted. But I've been working the same role, the same job for seven years and just accept it.

1:19 She thinks I've become boring. My carefree attitude makes her bored. Ambition is shmexy. It's what men should be. She said, if I grew a backbone, I could be making six figures by now. We could be living in New York or have a bigger house. By the way, this comes from throwaway Henry Budin. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to r slash okay story time subreddit.

1:42 I'm Savina.

1:43 I'm Claire.

1:44 I'm Keon.

1:44 And we are here to give some good advice, Goofly, but we don't have all your answers. We're only going to tell you what we do. Let us know what you would do down in the comments. As Opie says, I don't understand her logic. Genuinely not. don't i'm happy with my life i'm content why do i have to be a corporate shark constantly seeking my way up the ladder i just want to go to my nine to six job and go home and see my family i like having my weekends i like being happy we have money for once we aren't struggling with life how can i tell my wife i'm just happy why is someone being happy seen as wrong And there are some relevant comments.

2:22 She's not happy.

2:23 Yeah, she's not happy. I think you need to sit down and get to the real nitty gritty of this. Because I don't believe that it's you, you know, your happiness. She's more looking at it like, I would be a lot more happier with more money. And the only way that can happen is if you do this, you have an opportunity here.

2:42 Choose the right thing.

2:43 So, yeah, I'd sit down and have a talk with her.

2:46 Why not?

2:46 Have you ever heard of talking to your wife?

2:49 No.

2:52 Might go a long way to try talking to your wife.

2:56 There are some relevant comments.

2:58 JFC, you can't be serious, says, I'm with you 100%. I think about this comic a lot whenever I start to doubt myself. The only part that gives me pause is your wife saying, why do I have to be the main breadwinner? Would your comfortable life be possible if she also took your approach? That is, to what extent is her kind of ambition? Because I think you're equally as ambitious, just towards a different goal. What allows you to pursue the life you want? Does she want to work less? These are important questions about how you work together as a team while also pursuing your own individual ambitions.

3:32 Opie responds, yes, she doesn't make much more than me. 10K, I make 48K. She makes around 60K. She's a salaried manager at a big box retailer, but she chooses to do this. She liked running a business and she loved working retail. She wants to go into corporate. But we live in a low cost of living area. Our house was $ 210, 000.

3:56 For three bedrooms.

3:57 That was an effing steal. My mortgage is cheaper than my rent for a two bedroom tiny apartment. And by cheaper, I mean $ 300 cheaper. I pay $ 1, 350 for my mortgage.

4:06 My rent was $ 1, 600.

4:06 Outrageous, right?

4:07 But it was all I could find. I can't afford to move to the big city and live a life of luxury. It's just never happening. She thinks if we both climb the ladder in a few years, we'll be making six figures and living in a mansion. That won't happen, and it's not my dream.

4:29 But to her, it's her dream.

4:31 It's her dream.

4:31 It's a good dream.

4:32 And see this, this is where the communication comes into play.

4:37 Talk to her. This is where you bring up, we should buy a zoo.

4:41 I know you want to live in the big city, but have you ever considered living in a zoo?

4:45 And I would love that, my dream.

4:47 You want to live in the Big Apple? There's lots of apples at the zoo.

4:51 I just want to live my life with a job that isn't stressful and that I enjoy and not be overburdened with stress. Is that wrong of me? She's very much of the men should be the breadwinners and not women. She should take a relaxed approach and stay home with the kids. There's an update four days later.

5:07 Yeah, I don't like the men should be the breadwinners, blah, blah, blah. I don't like that mindset.

5:12 That she has.

5:13 But I think it's the.

5:15 case of like you come home happy from work and you enjoy it and she's.

5:19 Like stressed out and she's like I hate.

5:21 This yeah she's stressed out and she's like and I'm making more money than you and I have to come home and then I'm doing all of the mom work I'm not saying she's definitely doing that I'm just feeling like maybe that's what's.

5:31 It I think she needs a vacation I think even.

5:33 I think there's like a statistic that like even when moms or like when it's like dad is the mom you know what I mean like dad is the stay at home dad moms still do 50% of the child rearing Makes sense. Yeah.

5:47 They just love us. What can we say? I mean, they did come out of us, so sorry. They want to go back in.

5:53 Sorry. They want to go back in. But I hate this.

5:55 Let me back. Let me back in. Four days later.

6:00 Well, it's a divorce. Whoa. Wow. Four days later and it's divorce city. Yikes. You know what they say? When you know, you know. And someone knew. And someone knew.

6:16 I like, yikes. That's okay.

6:19 Okay, let's see. Maybe she was having an affair or something.

6:22 We're just two different people going different directions. So her initial reasons were envy. She admits she was envious I could just accept my life the way it is and be happy with so little. I could be happy never moving up in my career. She was envious I could go home happy and not stressed and not dread the work week. She never has that luxury. She's always stressed, always feeling worthless for getting such a late start in life.

6:46 But the real reason, she's not happy with her life.

6:49 Wow.

6:50 I think they should get divorced.

6:51 I read that room real quick.

6:53 She's not happy with her life, and she wants someone more ambitious, and he's okay with not. I feel like it's okay for one person to be more ambitious and the other person to not be ambitious and be like, I'm actually happy with the lifestyle that we have. Yeah. It's okay. I think neither one of those things makes you a bad person. But it just seems like they don't line up.

7:11 Goal-wise, which is huge.

7:13 Doing what makes you happy makes somebody else unhappy, but vice versa. You're two different people. You can't change them.

7:22 Can't live with them, can't live with them, divorce them.

7:27 She'll go and you'll stay.

7:30 She admits to me that she cannot be happy with this life. Living in the suburbs, being a soccer mom, this life isn't for her. She tried making it work, but she can't do it. She wants to constantly claw her way up the ladder, constantly drive to improve. She wants a big house, be rich, be somebody, and not just live. She wants someone who is equally as ambitious, and not me, someone who is content. She wants to be with someone who is willing to take major risks, spur-of-the-moment plans.

7:58 Find them in Vegas.

8:01 She wants someone with a gambling addiction.

8:03 She wants a big spender, big reason to, you know, get married.

8:08 Yeah.

8:08 She wants money bags.

8:11 And that's okay. That's what she wants.

8:12 Yeah, that's okay. And that's just not who you're with.

8:15 No.

8:15 I was going to marry someone poor, and now that I am not marrying him, I'm like, I think I'll marry someone rich.

8:21 You know what?

8:21 Might as well. I'll split the script.

8:23 I tried it the one way. Now I'm looking for someone who's rich.

8:27 Right.

8:28 And, you know, there's nothing wrong with that.

8:29 There's nothing wrong with that.

8:31 To her, it's like a constant pressure. She doesn't want to stay in one place, do the same thing forever. I'm the exact opposite. I don't want to constantly be moving, constantly be doing more. I want to be happy and live a quiet, humble life. She cannot understand how I could want to, and I could not fathom why she wouldn't either. So we're left in an impasse. We both have decided we can't go on. It isn't fair to either of us, nor our kids. Not a happy update, I guess.

9:00 Oh, and that's all.

9:01 And that's it.

9:02 Dang.

9:03 And that's all she wrote.

9:04 It is not a happy update.

9:06 I wish we could have her side of the story. Like, because he's like, she just is kind of money grubby. But that's not me. I like my content life. I'm all right with just my couch and my beer.

9:15 Right?

9:16 Yeah.

9:16 And she might be like, you know, I wish I wish we could go to Florida every once in a while.

9:22 Yeah.

9:23 I wish.

9:23 Try to do a compromise.

9:24 I wish we could maybe go out on a date night and afford a babysitter.

9:27 I also just think she doesn't like her job either.

9:30 No.

9:30 She's like, I mean, from what she's doing, she's working these corporate jobs. Corporate jobs are.

9:35 The worst.

9:35 Yeah.

9:36 No, I've never really been like, oh, I love going to my corporate job. That just doesn't, you don't really hear that. Not saying that they're all bad, but. you know, a majority of them, I feel like are not the best. And so her going to that and him going to something that he actually enjoys and all this stuff and her seeing him come home, being happy and content. And she's like, oh, he must not care, you know, because he's happy with what he's doing like it was more she was jealous and then she also was projecting all of her feelings onto him when he's like girl I don't really see the issue here and she's like I want more and you can't give it to me so you know and that's just how it is sometimes you

10:15 don't really realize it until you're older And you grow in separate directions.

10:19 Yeah.

10:19 I wonder how long they dated before they got pregnant. Because it might just be like, oops, I guess we're doing this.

10:25 Yeah.

10:25 And she's like, yeah, that looks fun. And then she's like, let's try kid number two. Maybe that'll change things.

10:29 That'll fix it.

10:30 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

10:31 Things are not going well. But we haven't tried having another kid yet.

10:35 Yeah.

10:36 I don't know. I think it's probably for the best that they got divorced.

10:38 I think so, too.

10:39 I think she would definitely be a little better at you.

10:43 Yeah.

10:43 It would show in the marriage. And the kids would have to see that and everything. So it's better to separate now than later. That's the end of that story, and we got another one coming right up.

10:51 I humiliated my husband over his salary, and I don't regret it.

10:56 You idiot!

10:58 My female 27 husband, male 29, and I are currently planning on moving in the near future. We were debating where to go, and in a heated argument, I said... In a few years' time, and for the rest of our marriage, I'll be making double to triple what you'll make. I'm the one who'll mainly be paying for the house, so I decide. My husband reiterated, you've been in school or with very young kids, we have a one-year-old and a two-year-old, for the four years we've been married, and we'll soon be taking time to have another kid, and you won't be the full-time workforce for another two years at least. I've been supporting us until now. He also said that he wished he could get pregnant so he could get some time with the kids when they are young.

11:41 We do plan on switching roles in a couple of years. We're all work and he'll be with the kids. He has since apologized, but I still feel I am right. I am, just by virtue of our chosen careers, going to be the main breadwinner. Plus, biologically undergo pregnancy. I should have the final day on a major purchase. My husband is amazing, works hard and is great with the kids.

12:02 But I feel that it is fair that I get a bigger say for something like this. Am I the a-hole here?

12:08 Yeah, I think you're both the a-holes.

12:10 I think you need to just.

12:11 Why is this not being like a compromise?

12:14 Why is this tit for tat, you know?

12:15 Yeah, it's like, no, I make more money so I get to decide.

12:18 No, I make more money. Like, why is that the argument? Aren't you a team?

12:21 Bingo.

12:23 You're supposed to be working together, not like, oh, I make more. I make the decisions now in the household.

12:27 Like, huh?

12:28 Yeah, it does all just seem very strange. And I would like to know more about like why it's such a fight of where they're going to live or like what what are the dynamics of what they're arguing over?

12:38 And also, why is it a thing of like, all right, since you were a mom for the first couple of years, I know you'd be doing your job later, but we'll do a swap in a little bit, you know, down the down the road.

12:49 Swap.

12:50 But I do think it's nice that he's like, oh, I wish I could get pregnant so I could spend time with the kids. It is nice that he at least is saying that he has that mentality because I feel like a lot of men are like, Back to work, back to the grind. By the way, this comes from WifeInFight. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Claire.

13:12 I'm Savannah.

13:13 I'm Claire.

13:14 And guys, we're just here to give good advice goofily, but we only know what we would do.

13:19 So we don't have all the answers.

13:20 So let us know what you would do in the comments down below. As OP says, here's a comment. Comment number one. You are the a-hole. You even like each other, right? Why would anything matter besides picking a place where you can both be happy? Opie downvoted that. We love each other. Honestly, he's still in the honeymoon phase over me. We do share a very strong love. Like all couples, we fight and sometimes reach an impasse for important decisions. And now here's an edit. His earning potential is $ 100, 000 to $ 150, 000.

13:53 Nice.

13:53 Mine is $ 250, 000 to $ 350, 000.

13:59 Really nice.

14:00 Really nice.

14:01 Nicer.

14:02 Nicer for sure.

14:02 So you're both making six figures.

14:05 Yeah.

14:05 Because it does feel like once it kind of gets into six figure range, it is sort of like, I get that she's like, I could make more than you. And it's like, well, you're both making a lot.

14:13 Yeah.

14:14 Again, it just seems tit for tat where it's like, I'm better than him. And like, I'm trying to one up him. And y'all are a team.

14:20 It's even in the way that she said, like, he's apologized, but I still think I'm right. It's like you have to learn to let things go, Opie. Yeah. It does not serve you to always have to be right. You have to make compromises.

14:31 Yeah.

14:32 You can totally just, you know, be content and just take the L sometimes. We were just talking about that earlier.

14:39 Take it.

14:39 About taking the L, and that's okay. It doesn't make you less of a person. It doesn't make you seem like an idiot. You just, you know, sometimes others can be right, and that's cool.

14:48 You must take the L train.

14:52 Okay, Usnavi.

14:54 Okay, edit two. He has sensed apologize again and said that we were both under a lot of stress and said things we didn't mean and that he does seem to understand where I'm coming from, re-earning potential, etc. I accepted his apology and I thanked him for understanding. He then said that he will drop the kids at my sister's and take me out for ice cream. followed by a nature walk where we can further discuss this and understand each other's perspectives on where to live and the role of money in decision-making power.

15:24 That's actually really nice.

15:25 That is super nice. I'm in love with this man.

15:27 He's like, you know what, I'm gonna, we'll drop the kids off and, you know, me and you are just gonna spend time together and we'll talk about it.

15:34 I truly, truly, truly hope they get divorced so I can get with him.

15:41 Who is he?

15:43 You're about to lose yourself a good man, OP. Update a month later. So anyways, my husband and I had a nice long walk in conversation. We both apologized to each other and for our heated tone. He was also concerned that he was wrong and apologized once more. We decided to take another look about moving and see if we can find something which works for both of us. However, we also agreed that certain things need a financial decision maker as an impasse must be resolved. For major financial purchases, we decided that I would be the decision maker for the aforementioned reasons. I love this girl boss. I love her girl bossing. I think I make more money, so you maybe listen to me, baby boy. What do you

16:27 think about that? Yes, yes, yes?

16:29 I don't know.

16:29 I feel like it doesn't matter who makes more. You're a team.

16:33 It's a partnership.

16:36 They're a team, and I just feel.

16:38 I feel like it doesn't matter who's making more. You should both be involved in the decision making because it is both of your guys' future, not just one over the other, you know?

16:46 Yes, completely.

16:47 That's my opinion.

16:48 And even just the way she said aforementioned reasons.

16:51 Yeah.

16:51 Okay.

16:52 I know.

16:53 Me when someone's smarter than me. You seem like a jerk. Someone's using words I don't really know. I think she needs to back off a little bit.

17:03 I go, okay, and?

17:05 The decision maker will, of course, will listen to the partner and take everyone's view into account, but will make the final decision. Here's what I have to ask. If her husband suddenly was making more than her, would she be able to give up the power and be like, well, that's what we decided. Whoever makes more money gets to make more decisions.

17:23 So.

17:25 I now have to listen to you because you now make more money than me.

17:28 No, I don't think that's correct.

17:29 I don't think she would at all. I think it's a control thing.

17:32 Oh, for sure it's a control thing. I don't think that she is being in any way. There is no compromise here. She is like, you just eventually have to see my side and then everything will be good.

17:42 And then it will all work out. Once we do everything exactly how I want to do it, then we won't be fighting.

17:48 God.

17:49 Of course, we will try to make all decisions together. In order to mend the fight, my husband took me to a fancy dinner the following week. We then continued looking at various locations and houses. We decided to sit together, list what we are looking for in a property, and build a combined criteria that makes both of our preferences into account. Using that, we looked hard and found a neighborhood that wasn't the first choice of any of us, but it was something that met our combined criteria and was something we were both happy with.

18:15 Okay, that's a start. That's good. I'm glad. Yeah, I agree.

18:20 And it's sort of like, why didn't you guys do this earlier? This should have been the first thing you guys did when you decided to move.

18:25 Instead, we just argued who made more money and who could make the decision based on your income. Yes.

18:31 The next step was then house hunting within the neighborhood. Again, we reached an impasse. However, my husband voluntarily acknowledged that since I'll earn more and paying for most of it, we should be living in the house that I want.

18:44 That's not the point.

18:47 The whole point is that you guys can discuss as a couple and come up with the best possible thing for both sides. It's called compromise, not, oh, well, you know what, this is just a lot of work. Well, you know what, you're gonna make more anyway, just you make the decision.

19:00 We should do what you do. And it's like, oh, well, you're gonna be paying for more of the house. It's like, it does not seem like they are in a team partnership at all.

19:07 How many impasses do they need to reach? Because they've reached a lot of impasses.

19:12 Literally, every other sentence.

19:14 Sorry, I'm an impasse. I'm an impasse.

19:18 Yeah.

19:18 I don't think that this should just be her decision. I just feel like it's so, why is she doing this? Why? Why does she have to be in control of everything?

19:27 It's like, girl, don't you trust your husband enough to, you know, think that you can both come up with something and be all right with that. Or it eventually it's just like, well, I'm just never going to be comfortable with what he decides. So ultimately we're just going to go with what I want.

19:42 Yeah.

19:42 And he's just like, Okay, I guess this is just the way life is I mean, if.

19:45 That's the dynamic of them, then yeah. But the thing is, she's coming here to complain. So it's like, this is holes. This is holes all over again.

19:56 I was super thrilled when I heard this.

19:58 Yeah, of course.

19:59 Why would you be angry?

20:00 That's exactly what you wanted this whole time.

20:02 You're going to do exactly what I want. I'm so thrilled about this. This is exactly what I wanted.

20:07 That's what I wanted to hear.

20:08 Yeah.

20:09 Can't believe he came to this on his own. That we were able to reach.

20:11 An agreement without fighting and that my husband truly understood my perspective.

20:17 Girl, that's just not it. I mean, you're in Delululand right now.

20:21 And so then that definitely says that it's like, if I don't get what I want, it's going to be a fight.

20:27 Yeah.

20:27 Yeah, she literally got exactly what I want. She's like, I'm so happy we could do it without fighting.

20:31 Oh, I'm so glad that you didn't have to get, you know, the way that you are wanting things in our relationship. We finalized the deal and are making preparations to move. We're both really happy and excited to enter this next phase of our lives.

20:44 I'm sure.

20:44 I know most of you won't be happy with what's transpired, but it is something that works best for us and that we are both happy with. And honestly, our relationship has just been made stronger due to our fight and subsequent teamwork. My husband keeps doing gestures showing how much he appreciates me and I love him.

21:01 A lot. Because he does exactly what you want.

21:04 That's why you love him.

21:05 And then when he's like, oh, actually, I want to make this decision.

21:09 She's like, hold your horses, buddy. I make more money. So I make every.

21:15 Decision in this marriage. She doesn't even make more money. She has the potential to make more money.

21:19 Exactly.

21:19 She's still in school.

21:21 I don't even think she has actually graduated, but she has the potential to make that money. So then when they pick the house and then she doesn't make that amount, then what?

21:28 I mean, it's like, Whatever works for you. I love it for you. Sis, I love it for you. I love a woman in control. I wouldn't be down.

21:42 For it, but that's fun. I agree with Kim Foyne.

21:45 And then on top of that, she's still swinging her dang dong on Reddit. Kiki to herself talking about, LOL, I humiliated my husband.

21:52 And I love him a lot. And I love him so.

21:55 And we reached a compromise without fighting. And the compromise was whatever I want.

21:59 Like, okay.

22:02 Sure.

22:03 If that's how the marriage goes, then yes. But don't come to us asking for advice when you clearly just want it to just be your way or the highway.

22:12 Your way or the highway.

22:13 Like, am I the angel?

22:16 Yeah.

22:16 Yeah.

22:17 Yeah, you are. You didn't even ask that because you knew you were.

22:19 You knew. Baby girl, you knew you're in the wrong here. But that's okay.

22:24 But anyway, that's the end of that story. And we got another one coming right up.

22:29 I got my dream job offer abroad, but it might ruin my husband's career. Anchors away, baby. I, female 26, got an offer from my boss to move abroad next year for six months to open a new branch of our agency and be a branch manager.

22:46 It's a two-hour flight away.

22:48 It's an incredible offer to get at my age, and I worked my butt off for the past two-plus years as a project manager slash team leader to get here. Started off as the former rule, organically became the latter one as well. I'd have all expenses with the move covered. It's a dream come true for me career-wise.

23:06 Here's the issue.

23:07 My husband, male 29, doesn't want to move. He's about to have an exam in December to finally get all necessary qualifications for his profession. Think like bar exam in the US. His salary would go up and he'd be able to be independent. But only in our country. I'm not sure he'd be able to find a job abroad.

23:28 And he really doesn't want to move. I am making three times his salary and we'd live comfortably, but understandably, he doesn't want a break in his career, especially when it's finally going to take off. He wants to save as much as possible to buy a house, have kids, etc. I want the same, but not necessarily now, perhaps in a year or so. We don't have enough saved to do it earlier anyways, and I want to negotiate my salary for the new position so that we would still be on track with all these plans. By the way, this comes from Gosee. 23. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.

24:03 I'm Savannah.

24:05 I'm Claire. I'm Sophia.

24:07 And we're here to give some good basketball, but we don't have all your answers. We're only going to tell you what we do, but let us know what you do down in the comments. As Opie says, for a little context, he's always been more domestic, doesn't care to learn more languages or travel, which is fine. I, on the other hand, consider myself more of a cosmopolitan person.

24:27 I speak three foreign languages and I'm currently learning a fourth one. Always dreamt of international career, whether it's about being able to travel or just move abroad. During our relationship, I did move abroad twice for more than a year. So we know that long distance relationship is doable. But when I came back three years ago, we discussed that we don't want that anymore.

24:48 So I stayed.

24:49 When we talked about the opportunity, he instantly became cold and short with me. We are speaking, et cetera, normally, but any time the topic comes up, he gets annoyed. Doesn't say no to me going alone or with her dog, but isn't happy for me, nor wants me to go. Thus, would I be the a-hole if I accepted the offer?

25:10 No.

25:12 Go for it. Yeah, you got this.

25:15 I think it also has to do with how you were raised, and my mom, especially... has always told us, you do what you need to do, and if it was meant to be, they will follow you, or you will figure out something that will work. Don't stay back for someone, because then you're just gonna grow resentful, and you're not gonna enjoy what you're doing, and you're gonna be like, what if, what if, and always think about, and you're saying this is your dream, you have dreamt of this, and it's now finally coming true. Like he can't, you cannot, Just have him take that away from you.

25:53 You can't.

25:54 Yeah, I agree with you. But then it's like, okay, then you guys are just going to have to break up. Then you're just going to have to go like, well, we're just living. So you have to decide what's more important to you.

26:05 Your career.

26:05 Building a life with this man. So it's a big, big decision.

26:10 Yeah, you're at an impasse.

26:11 Yeah, I will. I'm an impasse.

26:15 There are no kids. There are no kids. Yeah, there are no kids.

26:19 You only get one life.

26:21 And if you don't do it, you're going to, you know, it's like if I don't do this, I'm going to regret it and I'm going to resent him for this. Or if I do do this, he's going to be upset and he's going to resent me for this. It's at the end of the day, it's your relationship. But what do you, like Claire said, what do you prioritize?

26:36 You prioritize yourself, your work, what you want to do or what he wants to do.

26:42 It's a thing.

26:44 And what else does he have to offer?

26:46 Watch La La Land. That was a good one.

26:48 Watch La La Land. I mean, if he's H-U-N-G, think it over.

26:55 Give it a second thought.

26:56 Give it a second thought before accepting the new job. But probably decide yourself. Yeah. There are lots of H-U-N-G men.

27:04 All in all.

27:05 I love that game.

27:07 If it's going to work, it'll work out with both of you being happy and doing what you want to do.

27:13 Just right now, it may be a bump in the road. But you don't know. Until you take that chance.

27:17 Flip a coin.

27:18 Flip a coin.

27:19 Let fate decide.

27:19 No, but honestly, flip a coin is great advice because if you feel sad, then you go, great, I'm going to do it then. You know, like if you don't get the result that you want, that's the point of flipping a coin to me.

27:30 What?

27:31 Oh, like if you do it and then.

27:33 Yeah, if it's like heads, I go. Tails, I don't. Oh, tails.

27:37 I hate that.

27:38 I guess I should go because I feel bummed.

27:41 Oh, about like what it landed on.

27:43 Yeah.

27:43 Oh, okay.

27:45 That's great. I didn't even think of that.

27:47 That's what I did. I did this big one woman show and I flipped a coin to decide if I wanted to do it or not. And it said you shouldn't do it. And then I was like, I guess I should do it because I'm really bummed right now.

27:55 Yeah. Oh, that's actually a good perspective. There's an edit here.

28:00 Okay.

28:01 I see a lot of comments that were not compatible due to him wanting to stay and me going abroad. When we met, we both wanted to live abroad. He was meant to finish his degree and join me, but turns out you can't find a job in his field outside of the country unless you're a genius. Neither me nor him knew that. It's not like he hates traveling.

28:21 He can't do it due to his work. Yeah, he's now used to that. Me, not so much. Three years ago, when we came back so that he could continue his career, we agreed to stay in one place for a longer time. Until that point, him or both of us moved at least once every year, either together or one of us. It wasn't a promise that neither of us would go anywhere ever. It's been three years in one city, the longest I've ever lived in one city since childhood. Do what you want with that. Just wanted to clarify some things.

28:52 And there's an update.

28:53 I do feel kind of bad for him. I feel bad for both parties. It's not like he wants to keep them there.

29:01 Yeah.

29:02 It's just like, well, this is what my work is. Yeah. And she's like, well, we could just live off of my salary. But then that's basically saying, like, give up your career for her.

29:09 Exactly.

29:09 There are both of them have to. They are two sides. And, you know, which there comes a point in your life, which I mean, I've had to do this as well. At some point, you're going to have to, you know, if you're going to be miserable living there.

29:28 Then you have to go.

29:29 If you are going to be visible without him, then you have to stay.

29:33 And you'll be okay. Normal people.

29:36 There's an update a week later. after reading your guys' comments, I decided to wait until Sunday to sit down and talk. That way, both me and my husband could have space to process our emotions. I noticed that my excitement was clouding my judgment, and reading how many of you were saying that my job is more important than him really made me take a step back from thinking about the possibilities and focus on the present. Plus, I had to leave for the weekend to attend a course in another city, so Sunday seemed a good time. After I came back, my husband picked me up and almost immediately said, let's go.

30:10 I didn't get what he meant, so I asked where, and he said, let's move to the country. I just have two conditions. One is that you will have a proper contract that states every single expense the company will cover, and that you wait until my exam to make a final decision on the specifics. As for now, I can't process thinking about the move. I have too much on my plate.

30:31 I was floored.

30:33 Asked him if he was sure, and what about his job and career. He said that yes, he's sure, as he also wanted to live in that country for a while someday, and this seems like a good moment. That he will be able to find something, and if not, then we'll still be fine as long as it's only six months. Honestly, love him.

30:51 Yeah, I hope they get divorced so I can marry him. Oh my god!

30:58 Yeah.

30:59 Yeah, he seems like a stand-up guy. And I'm glad, like, I think it really put into him, like, you know, percept, yeah.

31:07 Yeah, because he was like, okay, what do I value?

31:10 Exactly.

31:11 Do I value this career that I kind of want, but it would keep me here, which seems like it wasn't his priority to begin with, and take me away from my wife, which is not a priority to me. So he's going, okay, I'm going to prioritize these two other things, living abroad and my wife.

31:26 Yeah.

31:26 Which I love that.

31:27 Which, I mean, they said in the like she said in the beginning, they both did not plan to stay there that long.

31:32 But it just, you know, the studies are taking.

31:34 Too long and whatever things happen. And now she's ready to go. And he's like, you know, hesitant on it. And that's completely OK that like it makes sense. But I agree with like what he's saying, like, but everything in writing, make sure we know all the logistics. And once we finalize it, like, let's go.

31:52 And I love that it was the first thing like she's been gone for a few days.

31:55 Right.

31:56 And he's like, let's go.

31:57 Yeah.

31:57 He said, you know what?

31:58 I think that's so romantic for him to just be like, I'm making this decision.

32:03 Yeah. I think the I think it gave him time to think, you know, oh, she's not here.

32:08 Would I like this? And it's like, no, I hate that.

32:12 Yeah.

32:12 Yeah.

32:13 It's like, oh, he loved me. All right. Yesterday, I talked with my boss and asked if we can come back to the planning in December, as it would still give us enough time to organize everything until March. His deadline for the project to start. Explained to him that my husband needs to focus on his exam now, so we won't be able to plan the move. Fortunately, he understood and after a bit of back and forth, said that the offer is still on the table before Christmas.

32:37 Perhaps very anticlimactic for everyone suggesting divorce or me leaving to be the girl boss I always wanted to be. But life is about balance and compromise. Sometimes just not between the parties that we thought. It's not me versus my husband, but it's us against the world.

32:55 Dang, bars.

32:57 That's so sweet.

32:58 Or at least my boss's request to decide about such a huge thing in a week. Especially that it wasn't my goal in this company. This is literally the first time someone other than a co-worker would leave for months to open a new branch.

33:11 So yeah, that's all.

33:12 Thanks again.

33:14 Aww.

33:14 So the husband did get his happy ending. He did. He did.

33:18 He got his happy ending.

33:19 And so did the wife. And so did the wife too.

33:21 Everyone's happy in this story.

33:22 Everyone got a happy ending.

33:24 One big O.

33:24 Aw.

33:26 Aw.

33:27 A big O like this kind of O.

33:28 Aw.

33:29 Aw.

33:29 That's so sweet.

33:32 Aw.

33:33 That was the O for me.

33:34 That one, I'm really glad we landed on that one with the last one being like, you're not ambitious enough. It was sort of like, it was two sides of the same coin.

33:42 Yeah.

33:43 I'm really happy we ended on a happy one.

33:44 But that's the end of that story, and we got another one coming right up.

33:49 Hey, it's Carly, your favorite axolotl host here.

33:52 We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

33:57 I accidentally humiliated me and my wife, and now I'm dreading going back.

34:02 You got a DeLorean?

34:03 To set the scene, my wife, 35 female and I, 34 male, are currently attending... antenatal classes, preparing for the arrival of our first child this summer. There are seven other couples, all of similar age to us, and we've been looking forward to potentially making some new friends out of these classes who will have similar age children to us and live nearby in a very nice neighborhood.

34:27 Oh, you want to make friends for your kid before they come out. Cool.

34:31 Let's arrange a play date in three years.

34:33 Pre-friends, pre-friends, pre-friends.

34:34 Once they're all born. So far, everything has been going great. There's good camaraderie between everyone. The guys limit hospital parking. The ladies compare aches. And all of us seem to get along and have good chats between couples and across the group in spare moments in the sessions. I'm not a natural extrovert and don't feel the most at home in groups like this, but I'm doing my best to seem like a real person.

34:59 Are you a robot?

35:00 Yeah, it's like we're preparing for the arrival of our child. They're coming from space. They followed us. We took the mothership.

35:07 So our child is going to be the spawn of Satan. Have fun with the demon.

35:10 Naturally, in an unfamiliar social situation like many others might, I'm cracking the occasional joke along the way to break the ice and keep the mood light. Generally, grease the wheels of social interaction and portray myself as a fun, normal guy to be around.

35:27 Again, are you a robot? Who says that? Who says it like that?

35:32 As one does. I crack jokes to keep the ice smooth. And, yeah, I'm from here.

35:39 I'm from this planet. As the humanoids do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

35:43 By the way, this comes from SeriousPilot2700. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Dakota.

35:49 I'm Keon.

35:50 And I'm Keon.

35:51 And we're going to read this story, the two Keons and I. And we're totally going to believe this guy's from the planet Earth. And just let us know what you think about this story in the comments. And OP says, Halfway through today's class, there's some downtime between activities. We're all sat in a broad circle, and people are sharing funny conversations that have come up with people they know when they have announced or mentioned their pregnancies. As usual, the tone is jovial and casual. People mentioning inappropriate or odd questions they get asked. Others responding that they've had similar or worse asked. And then there's OP standing three feet away, completely stiff.

36:32 He's doing the Shia LaBeouf from Transformers. He's doing the... I'm actually.

36:38 He's processing.

36:40 The AllSpark.

36:41 It's a great scene. At one point, one of the ladies who sat near us says that someone once came up and asked her, Oh, wow. So was this an accident or on purpose? And comments, what a mad thing that is to ask when that person knew she was happily married. This gets a good response and a general chuckle around the room. This is where I step in.

37:02 Oh, he's going to show his two-step.

37:05 Mm-hmm. He's just been taking notes the whole time, and now he's like, it's my time. There's a window.

37:10 I feel like out of anyone I know, you know who would do this? Riley.

37:14 Really?

37:16 Yeah. Keep going. I want to hear what Opie's joke is.

37:21 And by step in, I mean step into my whole mouth with both feet.

37:24 Oh.

37:26 Oh, he's doing the Robin.

37:28 He's double knee dropping into his mouth. In my head, in the moment, I think, oh, yes.

37:36 Oh, my gosh.

37:37 What a humorous situation. What an impertinent thing to say to someone who's clearly and happily married. So I think, yes. I will add to the conversation by suggesting something equally hilariously inappropriate someone might say in that situation. Why do you say it like you're an alien?

37:53 What is going on? This guy's AI.

37:55 You are AI.

37:57 You are a robot.

37:58 No one speaks like this.

38:00 So in her wake, I pipe up, Haha, yeah. Or if they'd ask, Oh, so is it actually your husband?

38:08 Nice, Morty. I know.

38:11 Yes. That was quite funny. What if they had asked if it was your husband's child?

38:19 Nice.

38:20 Thanks.

38:21 Thanks. Thanks, Dakota Bot.

38:22 And everyone just turns and goes.

38:24 Who said that?

38:26 Stephen Hawking from The Grave?

38:29 Did the air conditioner just talk? There was a slightly awkward titter in response to this.

38:35 Nice.

38:36 She responded, Well, thankfully no one's gone quite so far. The topic of conversation swiftly but naturally moves on. And in my head, I think, well, that didn't really land, but hey-ho. A minute later, I get a text from my wife sat next to me. She goes, effing heck, there was no need to make that joke. And I sit there for a moment. Yeah, thinking about it, the whole room did sort of awkwardly go quiet there for a moment.

39:02 Let's get that replay, John.

39:04 Oh, if you see how he enters the conversation, it wasn't appropriate. It's a bold strategy, Cotton. See if it pays off for him.

39:12 Yes. That wasn't entirely, clearly just a lighthearted contribution to the conversation.

39:18 Why is he talking like this?

39:20 It's crazy. Now that I think about it, wow. That was an incredibly insensitive, inappropriate, and dumb thing to say. Especially to someone who's on the... emotional rollercoaster week of pregnancy.

39:32 Aloha, aloha, eh.

39:35 Me, me, me, ma.

39:37 Bobo, me, my, me, me, boo.

39:40 Wow. Great googly moogly. I'm a big old fool. I am the world's stupidest idiot. I am the, the, the, the... I am the silliest goose in the nest. I have made myself look like the biggest tool in the room. You had it right there.

40:00 Call me Tom Fooler because yes.

40:04 Likely everyone thinks that I am an incredibly weird space alien freak for that. Obviously, no mention of it is made, but I spend the rest of the class and the day in a sort of haze of embarrassment. Hey, but is this your first?

40:21 Is this his first human encounter?

40:22 Is this your first social interaction?

40:25 First human encounter of the strangest kind.

40:28 The cherry on top. We were in the class as an icebreaker. We had each been asked to name one attribute we would like the baby to pick up from our partner.

40:37 Oh, this is going to be great. I'm so excited.

40:39 My wife easily replied with a smile on her face and looking lovingly at me. Oh, I'd love if they got your wit and sense of humor.

40:50 I hope our demon child has a robotic humor. I'm so excited.

40:54 As long as they don't inherit your green blood and tentacle fingers, seeing as you're from another planet.

41:02 Your child Kit Fisto from Star Wars?

41:04 I got nothing to say.

41:05 I got nothing to say.

41:07 OP, you need to be like, you know what? I do apologize. That was my B.

41:13 I mean, can you imagine? Let's really set the stage here. Like, everyone's just kind of an acquaintance. Like, you don't really know these people. You're trying to get to know them better. You know, it's like a thing for people who are going to be parents and someone's talking about, oh, yeah.

41:28 You see that giant brick of ice right there laying there. You go, that looks really good to break.

41:32 I can't wait to break that.

41:33 I'm going to break that.

41:34 I'm going to break that by being like, yeah, what if they were like, you know, did your husband cheat on you?

41:39 Yeah.

41:40 Or did you cheat on your husband? Is that even really is?

41:43 You know that one game where you had the little hammer and you had the polar bear or penguin on there?

41:47 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

41:47 Yeah, and you tried to just knock as much ice blocks as you can.

41:50 What Opie did was he knocked one and the entire thing broke.

41:54 Yeah, he just went in there. I mean, honestly, he dropped a bowling ball on the game. He just went, boom. Hey, your husband. Did you cheat on your husband? Wouldn't it be crazy if they said that? It's like, who is this? Yeah, no, I mean, yeah, I'm glad no one said that. Uh, uh, uh, uh.

42:15 No, you sound like something else.

42:18 Aw.

42:19 You know, A for effort.

42:20 So, there we are. I don't know if I should reach out to either the husband or wife at whom I directed this idiotic comic and apologize or... Yeah, no, that's a great one. I'd love to see the email you write for that. Or should I just leave it be? Or just leave the country? Or perhaps the entire solar system?

42:37 Kid Fisto.

42:38 This guy brought up the solar system unprompted.

42:41 Yeah.

42:41 He's like, I could go home.

42:43 That's what I'm saying. My people need me.

42:47 There's an edit. To anyone, for some reason, still coming across this post, not 24 hours later, this situation has been entirely resolved by my wife going into spontaneous labor and delivering our son a bit early. So, whew, don't ever have to go to those classes anymore.

43:04 I don't... I guess that solves it.

43:09 Yes, this whole situation has been resolved by my wife giving birth to our spawn, and now we will return to the stars where my home system resides, in the 17th quadrant of the Andromeda galaxy.

43:22 Sweet.

43:24 I might have to fire the giant space laser at Earthdove just to make sure nobody remembers.

43:29 That I did this.

43:30 Yeah, feeling that humiliation and embarrassment, I can never recover from that ever again.

43:34 Guys are dead.

43:36 Okay.

43:37 Guys, he's going to be a dad.

43:38 He's going to have some crazy dad jokes.

43:40 Yeah.

43:41 I never said good. I just said crazy.

43:43 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one. My boyfriend told his friends his ex was hotter while I was in the next room.

43:52 Oh, that's so funny because now I'm your ex too.

43:55 Yeah, you've got two of them. My boyfriend's 26 male, ex is 22 female. They dated for five years. Funny math on that one. Before they broke up eight months ago because their relationship became long distance. I, 27 female, used to know him through mutual friends. And by all accounts, she was his first love. And everyone was saying how they'd get married someday. It makes sense that they say first love because she, oh, I guess was 18. Yeah, she was 18.

44:31 He was 21.

44:32 My math was I saw the eight under the five. I thought she was 15. And he was like 19. That would have.

44:38 Been a little more concerning. They were 1821.

44:40 That's not crazy.

44:42 1821 doable. She is a fashion model and is very tall, skinny, exotic looking and beautiful. She has appeared on numerous ads and magazines. She's even been in Vogue.

44:54 Oh.

44:56 Oh, I'm in Vogue. And walked the runway for many fashion houses. On the other hand, I am average height, average body weight with a boring job at a bank.

45:05 You're a bank worker. What's so boring about that?

45:08 Oh, says someone who's not worked at the bank.

45:14 I've always heard everyone wants to work at the bank.

45:17 We all want to work at the bank.

45:19 I would love to work at the bank.

45:22 I went on my first date with my boyfriend three months ago. Originally, he told me he was just looking for friends with benefits, which I was okay with. For about a month, we just slept together and sometimes went out to eat together, but nothing serious. He also slept with at least two other girls during this time. He's a very attractive lawyer, so naturally women tend to flock to him.

45:41 Yes, everyone flocks to lawyers.

45:44 So I'm confused. Why? You knew all of this going in. Why did you further commit to this guy who was clearly starting all of this as just a, yeah, I just want random people who are into me?

45:59 Well, that sometimes can transition into something more. I've known people who, you know, were casual and then they were like, oh, we actually like each other a lot. And now they're in long term committed relationships.

46:13 We'll see if that's what happens here. Finally, I told him I didn't want to be his friends with benefits anymore. And he asked if I wanted to be exclusive. And I agreed.

46:25 Wait, that's really funny.

46:26 That's really funny because the way that I'm interpreting that conversation originally was I don't want to be friends with benefits. Oh, do you want to be exclusive?

46:35 Yes.

46:36 Thank you for asking.

46:38 Yeah.

46:38 He's like, no, no, no. I'm just clarifying.

46:41 I have a sneaking suspicion. He was just like, yeah, sure. If that's what you want to hear. Sure. If that's what you want, if that's what you need to hear, we're exclusive. By the way, you need to hear this comes from a deleted user. But you can submit your own stories on the r slash ok story time subreddit.

46:57 I'm Dakota.

46:58 I'm Sophia.

46:59 And we're going to read this story and give our advice and give it goofily and hopefully good. But we don't always know everything. We are filling in a lot of holes here. We're like the movie holes, but the opposite of it.

47:11 We're like the movie holes, but if we came at the end of the movie holes and filled in all the holes that they dug.

47:17 We are the movie silo.

47:19 Silo?

47:20 S-E-L-O-H. The opposite of holes. Anyway, OP says, he's nice enough to me and does a lot of romantic gestures, but I get the feeling he's still not over his ex. My feelings were confirmed when I overheard him talking to his friends the other day. I was asleep in his apartment after a long day at work, and he had friends over in the living room. They were playing video games and having some brewskis, just typical guy stuff. But I woke up about an hour later and just laid in bed looking at my phone. His bedroom's right next to the living room, so I could hear much of the conversation. A guy was asking him about the new girl he was dating, and then another friend was like, man, you must be absolutely devastated to break up with a model.

48:05 Then he said, she has a thicker body than your ex. My boyfriend responded, I like skinny girls better, though. His friend said, agreed. Your ex was way hotter. My boyfriend responds with, that's for sure.

48:21 Oh, and I'm gone. And that's the end of that relationship.

48:25 Mm-hmm.

48:26 Oh, boy.

48:26 Then he says something about how I'm just a basic white girl and they all laugh. Yeah, so just start packing up. If you've got anything in the bathroom, if you've got anything in the closet, go ahead and grab it.

48:38 Yeah.

48:39 You know? And just, you don't even need to say anything.

48:42 No, you just leave.

48:44 You give them complete silence and you know what? That'll drive them the craziest probably.

48:48 If you don't acknowledge that he's done this and you just fully leave, ooh.

48:53 What a blow to the ego he got broken up with by the basic white girl.

48:57 Yeah.

48:58 Oh, no.

49:00 Honestly, if I were good at controlling my emotions in this situation, if you could do that, no indication that I've heard this conversation. You either, you either, I mean, I don't like ghosting in any situation, but if you could, you're up to having a conversation, you go to him and you say, hey it's just not working out i just i'm not really feeling a romantic connection with you i just like i don't see this going.

49:27 Anywhere yeah don't even do that just say i'm done with you just say i'm done with you actually I'm going to go. I'm done with you. You don't need to call. You don't need to text. I'm done. My heart absolutely shattered after hearing him say that. I started crying and put on headphones to drown out their conversation.

49:45 After they left, my boyfriend came in to check on me and I told him I heard them talk about me. He looked surprised and said, I heard wrong. I told him I heard every single word, Mr. Lawyer. Then instead of making excuses, he said, don't be so dramatic. I'm with you because I like you. Who cares if she's objectively hotter? It doesn't matter. See, now, buddy, you're shifting the goalposts because that's not what this is about. Yeah.

50:09 This is about the way you talked about your partner with your friends.

50:11 It's about you laughing about how I looked.

50:14 I said, that's beyond the point. And that I'm hurt he called me basic. But he says something about how my heavy makeup and the way I dress makes me look like every other girl on the street. That I should try to be more natural. Again, shifting the goalposts. Trying to make this a, well, I'm right and you should change. Well, I'm right.

50:29 You are ugly.

50:30 I have no clue how it devolved into him roasting me. I said I had enough, got dressed and left. He texted me later asking if I was still on for dinner.

50:40 Guy is a piece of work.

50:42 I said I didn't feel like going. He got pissed at me because he had to cancel his reservation and said I should woman up and get over it. I can't believe my boyfriend fails to see how much he's hurt me. He's a lawyer. It's his job to not care how much he hurts people.

50:58 It's just all he needs to do is get out of the situation with his words, his tricksy little words.

51:05 Am I overreacting or is he being the rude one? Girl, wake up. I want to throw you in the Inception bathtub and wake you up from this dream that you're having.

51:15 Because you need a breakup. Wake up and break up.

51:18 Yesterday morning, I texted him with the reasons why I found his words to be so hurtful, thinking he'd message and apologize. However, I should have known that he'd just ignore me. He left me on read for the whole of yesterday and today. And finally, at night, he texted me to say that he's been really busy at work the past couple of days. Then he was like, can I be honest with you? I'm really not feeling this, so let's end it.

51:44 No, that was going to be you.

51:46 That should have been you.

51:48 Been on the fence about it for some time but after our fight i knew that this wasn't right girl you got done so dirty we have nothing left to say really i don't.

51:55 Yeah there's like nothing you can do in this situation.

51:59 Hopefully you somehow hear this and know moving forward that's how you should have handled it anyone out there please know your worth so that's it you already unfollowed me on instagram and unfriended me on facebook i was venting to a friend incidentally his co-worker She told me that he was kind of bummed out all day because he found out his ex got a new boyfriend.

52:22 Oh, bummer. At least she pulled through.

52:26 This honestly sucks. I actually felt like we had something, but I should have seen the red flags in hindsight, of which there were many. I get it, though. Dude dated a beautiful fashion model for five years. How can he go back to being with a normal woman?

52:40 No.

52:41 I want to grab you by the shoulders and shake you.

52:45 You've learned the wrong lesson.

52:46 I want to grab you and shake you.

52:48 Wake up and smell the roses.

52:50 You're better than this man. You're better than this man. Your worth as a person is not boiled down to the way that you look.

52:57 No.

52:58 No, no, no. Now my head looks huge.

53:03 Moink.

53:03 Moink.

53:04 But unless he knows any other models, I guess we mere mortals will have to do. That's the end of that story.

53:10 Models are not gods. You're all mortals. You all offer something. And this guy actually offers nothing.

53:21 Yeah, nothing but just dating a complete scum. I mean, like, what a rude, just a mean, rude, selfish man.

53:31 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one. Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite good time boy host here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

53:42 My girlfriend's parents say I stole rent from them, but I never knew about it.

53:47 How could I have stolen it if I didn't know?

53:50 Background, my 21 female, girlfriend 21 female, and I are now seniors in college and are discussing our future, but we have an issue where her parents say I stole from them and they won't acknowledge our relationship because they don't want their daughter dating a thief. My girlfriend and I met freshman year of college. We became best friends.

54:11 Sophomore year, she wanted to move off campus, and her parents bought a condo for her to use.

54:16 That's nice.

54:18 The condo was a large two-bedroom condo. She asked if I wanted to move in with her and pay rent. Her parents agreed to pay utilities. I didn't want to stay on campus and she was offering to charge me the same rent I would be paying for a small studio apartment in the city our college is located.

54:34 So I agreed.

54:36 The agreement was I pay her and she forwards the money to her parents. Now here is where the issue arises. When I moved in, I believe that we agreed to a rent of, let's say.

54:48 $ 1, 500.

54:49 According to her parents, I agreed to $ 1, 600.

54:52 Do you have literally any proof of this, Opie?

54:56 By the way, this comes from Am I the A-hole Thief? And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.

55:02 I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.

55:04 And we're here to give some good advice in a little goofy way, but we don't have all your answers. We only tell you what we would do, but let us know what you would do down in the comments. As Opie says, I have lived with my girlfriend for three years now, and I always paid $ 1, 500. The difference came to light when she told her parents we are now dating. Her parents were upset and told her that she cannot date a thief. My girlfriend told me this and I asked her to explain. Basically, when I first paid her $ 1, 500, her parents asked about the difference. Girlfriend was afraid to bring up the issue with me as she didn't want us to start fighting over money as we were close friends.

55:43 Oh my God.

55:44 So it's all your girlfriend's fault. It's completely your girlfriend's fault. Wow, I would tell her, okay, can you go back and tell your parents that you never told me? Like, coward, come on.

55:56 She says she thought I might have just been low on money, as my family isn't as well off as her, and I was working a part-time job and using student loans to help cover rent. She never told me about the difference, and I continued to pay $ 1, 500 for the entire time we have lived there. So now her parents assume I stole almost $ 4, 000 from them.

56:15 Oh my god. Girl, and why is your girlfriend not immediately going, no, no, no, no. I never told her. I never told her. I said that $ 1, 500 was it. Yeah.

56:29 So that's my bad. I'll take the blame on that. Yeah, that's crazy. It has gotten to the point that they refuse to even acknowledge we are dating at all. My girlfriend and I turned my room into an office as we didn't need two bedrooms as we are now sharing a bed. She told her parents and their response was that maybe sleeping on the couch will get me to pay them the money I owe. I cannot afford to pay them $ 4, 000. My girlfriend acknowledges that. She should have told me something but said her parents are adamant that they get paid because they feel like I took.

57:03 Advantage of their generosity.

57:05 I don't want to blame my girlfriend and I doubt her parents will accept my word but I feel like I shouldn't have to pay them when I didn't realize this was an issue.

57:13 So am I the a-hole.

57:14 For refusing to pay $ 4, 000 to my girlfriend's parents?

57:18 And there is an edit here. No, you're not.

57:22 No.

57:23 Because you did not know. So I, you're an oblivious a-hole.

57:28 Yeah.

57:29 But I don't even think you are the a-hole. You didn't know. How are you supposed to know?

57:32 Nobody told you.

57:33 I mean, you can tell your girlfriend, have that conversation, say, hey, I don't feel, I feel that it is unfair that you never told me this was an issue. I feel it is unfair that I am being told I owe $ 4, 000 for expenses no one made me aware of. Why did we not have a contract if your parents were so sticklers on this? Yeah, all of these things are ridiculous.

58:01 You could say, you could try and email or ask your girlfriend to pass on a letter and say, I was not made aware that I was paying $ 4, 000 that I wasn't paying enough going forward, I would be more than happy to pay that amount. I cannot afford to pay the $ 4, 000 blanket sum.

58:19 There's an edit here responding to some common questions. My girlfriend has told them that she didn't bring it up to me. They believe that she is just making excuses for me and that I knew what the rent was.

58:31 Well, then.

58:33 I mean, then there's nothing you can really do. And how is she telling them this?

58:37 Yeah.

58:37 She's like, well, no, O.P., It's like, no, straighten up.

58:42 There's a little bit left and I'm just going to get right into it. We didn't do a formal lease. It was all through phone calls and texts. We haven't been able to find any texts as they all occurred freshman year. I know we were stupid not to do a lease, but we didn't think it was necessary. After the first conversation and girlfriend deciding not to bring it up, the issue slipped her mind. She swears her parents never brought it up again until she told them we were dating.

59:08 I had no idea this was an issue. my girlfriend doesn't think i have to pay it but she's suggested we pay it together because her parents won't let it go or talk to me unless it's me apologizing for taking advantage I honestly would move out.

59:29 I would move out. You don't owe them anything.

59:32 I would move out.

59:32 I would get a new place. You said that you could find a place that was equivalent. I would move out. I would say, I don't want to feel like I'm indebted to your parents. I never signed a lease. There is no proof that I owe them this money. nor was I ever told I owed them this money until right now, and I feel like they're just going to hold this over my head.

59:52 And also, I think it is a little bit closet guarded for some reason. Yeah, they waited until OP, and they're like, oh, they're dating, and they're like, hmm.

1:00:02 Hmm, actually, you owe $ 4, 000 for being J with a G.

1:00:06 Yeah.

1:00:07 Like, it's just your J with a G tax.

1:00:11 And also, I mean, there's no paper trail, so like, Technically, they could even if they try to like bring it to court or something like bring this into like an official hearing or whatever, they have no proof of it. So I think you're in the clear, but I would move out, though, just so there's no issue and whatever you can don't have to deal with them.

1:00:30 And that's the end of this story.