My wife’s family kept STEALING from my daughter… so I took action! -r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP3069

0:00 Hey, this is Keon.

0:01 And this is Dakota, your favorite OK Storytime host. And we've got some great stories coming up. But before that, we have a two-minute break from the sponsors that keep the show going.

0:11 My wife's family kept stealing from my daughter, so I took action. It's like stealing candy from a baby. I, 53 male, have a daughter, 17 female, who I recently bought this big storage container for that locks. The reason being, our daughter has a job and likes buying her own food and snacks for herself. The problem is that her mom invites her aunt, uncle, and cousins over all the time, and ever since she started buying her snacks and leaving them in the pantry, they'd eat them without consulting her.

0:38 Hey, those are my snacks.

0:40 She's asked them many times to not eat them, but they don't listen. For reference, she likes to order snacks from other countries as a way to broaden her horizons. She's also linguistically gifted and likes to try and read labels to help expand her vocabulary. These snacks can take weeks to get after she orders them again, and by then, her current snacks are gone. By the way, this comes from Conscience Act 3704, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the rs.

1:08 Okay, story time. I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.

1:10 I'm Keon.

1:11 And we're here to give some good advice, goofily, but we don't have all your answers. We only tell you what we would do, but let us know what you would do down in the comments. As Opie says, my wife didn't do anything, saying that since her daughter kept them in the pantry there for everyone. Rude. She moved them to her room and her cousins would go in when she wasn't and take them. So then what's the mom's excuse? Because now they're not in the pantry.

1:33 That's frustrating. Her cousin's always over. I'd put a lock on her door if I were her dad. That too.

1:39 Or just get like a, well, he just bought her a storage unit.

1:42 Just put a lock on that.

1:42 Yeah.

1:43 I went to a hardware store and bought a big container with a lock. And for extra measure, I bought extra locks and drilled holes so that they could be used. Our daughter cried and thanked me because it was pretty expensive and not something she could afford.

1:56 Good dad. Good dad. That's really sweet.

1:59 Of course, the cousins went to get more snacks and threw a fit when they saw it and realized the snacks were in there. They told their parents and they told my wife and she's not happy with me saying that our daughter should share her snacks with family and she's being selfish.

2:13 And will get fat. Oh, immediately if I'm the father, I say don't ever say that about our daughter ever again. If you ever comment on her weight, and it's not like actually a medic, there's some medical thing, I will get very mad. How dare you?

2:29 How dare you?

2:30 I hate that.

2:31 I'll be like, hey, one, that's messed up. Two, when do you ever share your snacks? Yeah.

2:38 Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

2:39 No.

2:39 I'd be like, okay, then you buy them. No, I'd be pissed. Our daughter is incredibly fit. I knew it. I knew it. It's always, I feel like it's always those moms... Who, you know, have very thin daughters or whatever who are like the most like, oh, you can't eat that. You can't do that. You're going to get fat.

2:57 Yeah.

2:58 Well, that's why they are the way that they are.

3:00 Well, yeah.

3:00 It like creates this unhealthy relationship with food and with your body. I hate that.

3:06 Our daughter is incredibly fit, does multiple sports and exercises all the time. She's far from unhealthy. I told my wife she could order her own and our daughter was happy to tell her where to order them. But she didn't like that either and told us that the chest needs to go and that I should have consulted her on buying the bin in the first place. This is such a stupid argument. How about no one takes my stuff that I pay for? If you want to provide the cousins or family with snacks, cool, do it. But they're not taking mine. I pay for them and I like them and I want to enjoy them.

3:39 I was just going to say everyone's saying almond mom's. What is almond mom? An almond mom is the type of mom who ate four almonds growing up and only had the healthy snacks and would always imbue this kind of unhealthy relationship in their children. Didn't you always have healthy snacks? No, I would call my mom an ingredient.

3:59 We were an ingredient household versus an almond mom household. The difference is almond mom household is like, you can't eat any sugar. You can only eat this like a little bit amount of food and it's kind of like eating disorder. Whereas ingredient household is you could eat a bunch of food. You just have to make it. Like we didn't have snacks, but we had things to make snacks.

4:23 And like we had chocolate chips and like could make sweets whenever we wanted, but we just had to do it. Am I the a-hole?

4:31 No, you're not the a-hole for protecting your daughter and standing up for her when no one else is, apparently.

4:35 Agreed.

4:36 Yeah.

4:36 I 100% agree with that. Not the a-hole. The wife's being the a-hole. I 100% agree with that.

4:42 Everyone's being an a-hole other than you and your daughter.

4:45 Like she worked hard. She, this is her passion. She likes to do these things. She does not have to share with the family that comes over and.

4:52 Doesn't even ask.

4:53 Yeah.

4:53 It doesn't even ask. Sharing, sharing. You should be teaching the kids that with sharing, it's about asking and then saying, yeah, okay. There is not the implication that you always have to give something away.

5:04 Yes.

5:05 It's like, if you ask, you can ask. And then even if they, if they say yes.

5:10 Yeah.

5:10 If they say no, don't take it personally. They just want that for themselves.

5:14 That's all. Edit.

5:15 The relatives are our daughter's cousins and aunt and uncle. They are my sister-in-law, brother-in-law, and nephews, and sister-in-law is my wife's sister to clear up any confusion. The pantry is also fully stocked with food. No one is going hungry and eating our daughter's snacks because they have to.

5:31 And there's an update.

5:32 My daughter and my brother-in-law both found my Reddit post separately. First, my daughter, who was sent it via a friend who knew the situation... She confronted me about it and we had a very long talk where she admitted that when I'm away, her mom doesn't treat her well.

5:46 Shocker.

5:47 And often puts her cousins and nephews above her, telling her she should be understanding we're far better off than them.

5:54 Just because you're far.

5:55 Better off doesn't mean you have to neglect your daughter.

5:58 Yeah.

5:59 Like, you can just provide more, but don't provide your family with less to give them more, you know? Well, it just doesn't make sense.

6:07 If that's your thought process, then why don't you pay for their snacks?

6:11 You know?

6:12 Why are you expecting your minor daughter to do it?

6:15 I was aware that they would occasionally sneak into her room to take things or play, but apparently they go so far as to wait for her to leave for a few minutes, run in, and grab what they want. Her mom also makes a lot of comments about her weight. For reference, our daughter takes after me being taller with some more masculine features such as broader shoulders while my wife is small and petite. There's many other things I won't say here that my wife has said to her daughter.

6:40 I didn't bring it up at first and consulted my wife on buying a lock for our daughter's door, which she opposed, even if our daughter said she'd buy it with her own money. She started yelling about how under her roof our daughter has to abide by her rules. The house is technically mine, not hers. And I'm telling her that. I'm bringing that up.

7:00 I go, oh, who's on the lease?

7:02 One more time? Yeah, say that sentence one more time.

7:05 She stormed off and immediately began telling all our friends and her sister and brother-in-law that I was being controlling and awful to her.

7:13 The brother-in-law found.

7:14 The first post and sent it to her, leading to another argument where she accused me of airing our dirty laundry to the world instead of trying to communicate, despite me trying to and getting shut down.

7:23 That's so hypocritical. She just went to all of her family and friends and complained about you.

7:29 Stop airing our dirty laundry. By the way, did you hear what my husband did to me? Did you hear about my dirty laundry?

7:35 By the way, have you cleaned my dirty laundry yet? Because I got more.

7:40 Once she stormed off, I packed a bag, as did my daughter, and we went to a hotel. Yes, we brought the snack bin.

7:47 Okay, good.

7:48 Where we have been the past few days while I find a good divorce lawyer.

7:51 Wow. I mean, yeah. After finding out the terrible things that this mama said to his daughter, I would not stand up. Oh, yeah.

8:00 If I knew my partner was bullying my children behind my back, done.

8:04 About their appearance?

8:05 Don't ever. That gives me chills. Do not ever mess with my child.

8:10 No.

8:10 I hate that.

8:12 My wife is still spreading lies about me, claiming I tried to throw her out and all sorts of other lies. You should throw her out. I'm finished with her. I don't care what she says. I'll be divorcing her and paying as much alimony as she wants so that I can keep my daughter safe from her. Nice.

8:26 Good man. Fortunately, your daughter is 17, so that makes custody so much easier.

8:32 I don't care about the house or anything else. She can keep it all and let her sister, brother-in-law, and nephews mooch off of her until she's penniless. I'm sorry this is not a happy update, and I doubt I will make one after this. Thank you for opening my eyes, Reddit. Kind of is a happy ending.

8:47 I agree. It might not seem happy on the surface, but when you look at how much better off you guys will be without this woman in your life. It's crazy how this all started over just like stealing snacks.

9:01 Yeah.

9:02 Like they couldn't just be like, hey, can I have some?

9:05 No.

9:05 They had to take them and then... bring her down for some reason yeah it's so sad that this mom you know probably won't realize the damage that she's had on her daughter's life and you know it seemingly will not have her daughter in her life anymore and probably won't understand why yeah i know this she's blameless the mom the wife is blameless She's going to be like, everyone's against me. Victim, victim, victim. Terrence says, why are there so many stories with conflicts with moms and teenage daughters?

9:36 I mean, the tale is old as time. There's an edit here.

9:41 After so many people have told me not to give up the house, I will be doing my best to fight for it and low alimony for my wife. Me and my daughter shouldn't have had to leave the house we've both grown up in because of my wife. She can live with her sister if she wants to help them so much. oh true yeah exactly op don't like lower yourself and just be like ah i just want to be done and you know especially when your daughter isn't in the situation like that's her room exactly and that's her stuff.

10:09 And that's the end of this story we're gonna go to the next one.

10:13 My brother refused to speak to me for years so i skipped his graduation I mean, you don't speak to me. What am I supposed to say to you? My older brother is about a year and a half older than me. I don't know what the F happened, but we used to be pretty close when we were younger. And by the time I was in seventh grade, he did not speak to me in public. When I hit freshman year, he didn't even address me at home. My mom made it so that I had to beg for his approval and she wouldn't help. She said I did something that he won't ever forget and I have to work for his approval. Could someone clue her in? Clue this person in?

10:49 Nope.

10:49 Okay.

10:51 Backtrack everything you've done in your life and be like.

10:54 For years, both him and my mom have told me that I'm nothing more than an embarrassment.

10:58 What did you do? What happened?

11:00 There's some context we're missing here.

11:02 I don't know.

11:03 He's even gone as far as indirectly calling me a sleut. I was a virgin until earlier this year, TMI, but you get the point. When my mom would call us over to sit down and talk, he won't face or look at me and would degrade me in third person. and addressed my mom and she would let him do it. Someone clue this girl in! Wait, is OP a girl or a boy? OP is a girl.

11:25 Okay, that's what I thought.

11:26 I think.

11:27 I'll just say that.

11:28 Don't have any gender. I just assumed.

11:31 Sorry. My older brother graduates from college in the spring. He moved and I haven't seen him in four years now. When my dad told me to call my brother during dinner one day, I said, no. My mom asked why and I told her he disrespected me for years. She said I shouldn't hold a grudge and that pissed me off. Oh, but he can hold a grudge on me? Yeah, and for what? We still don't even know the answer. I told her about what he called me and how he wouldn't even look at me, wouldn't even address me in public or at home. And apparently she said he had a reason and won't tell me.

12:03 Dad, what are we doing? Dad, Dad, do you hear this?

12:06 This was news to my dad who traveled for work and recently retired.

12:10 Oh.

12:11 By the way, this comes from Deleted, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Sophia. And I'm Savannah.

12:18 And I'm Keon.

12:19 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. And Opie says, I recently left my family and live on my own, fully supporting myself because of the disrespect they've given me for years. I can see my mom doing the same things to my younger siblings, and I constantly step in. so that their relationship doesn't get ruined as bad as mine and my older brother's. I don't hate my brother. I just have zero love or tolerance for him anymore. He's just a... I just don't care.

12:52 And to this day, he won't address, message, talk to me, and has blocked me on every social media app. I am getting the feeling that mom... A fair child.

13:05 No.

13:06 Oh, I was going to say, I think that... Whatever the brother thinks OP did, I think the mom put it in his mind. Because I think OP kind of implied that she's doing it with the younger siblings too, like trying to split them apart. Maybe it's the brother put something in the mom's mind. I'm going to go with that. Bro to mom, you're going mom to bro.

13:31 I do not want to text call or attend a stupid graduation. Am I in the wrong year? Should I spend an entire week with a brother who constantly pretends I don't exist, that I'm disgusting and repulsive? Once he made a reservation for my birthday because my dad sent him money to do so, picked out a restaurant and forgot to put my name on the list. I spent my 16th sitting in a car, crying my eyes out, and then falling asleep in the trunk. They were in the restaurant for four hours and didn't even bring leftovers.

14:02 Woooah!

14:03 For your birthday, they're going to celebrate without you? Why did no one? That's, no, now I'm mad at the dad too. Why is dad allowing this? What a freaking doormat.

14:12 Well, dad doesn't know.

14:13 I mean, but how did he not know when she was at, I mean, presumably he was at that birthday party.

14:17 I'm guessing their whole family went and he forgot to put, you know.

14:22 And then why, also, why was she in the trunk? I don't understand that.

14:25 This whole family sucks. What is going on?

14:28 I don't know what to do. I'm angry and upset again and I don't know who to ask but Reddit. We have an update seven months later. I think that someone has lied to this brother. I think, I think bomb has lied to the brother. I think you need to somehow reach out to him and be like, what did I do?

14:45 Yeah. I don't know why that wouldn't be like your first response. Like it's been years and you're just like letting it go and like allowing this to happen. I would have immediately put my foot down and been like, tell me what I did. Like, tell me what am I supposed to do? You just hate me for no reason.

15:01 Okay, cool.

15:01 Because this was when she was 12? That she supposedly did something wrong? I don't know, she was young. She's in seventh grade, so.

15:07 Yeah.

15:08 The craziest thing is, again, he was referring to Opie in like third person and like right there at the dinner table and mom's like, yeah, I like this.

15:16 Yeah, Opie's mom is like, yes, my children can do this and I'm not going to step in and you just have to deal with it. And that's on failed parenting.

15:25 Yeah, I feel like Opie's like, what did I do? And the mom's just like, you know. Yeah.

15:29 Do I?

15:30 I hate when people say that.

15:32 You know exactly what you did and you go, why do you think I'm asking?

15:35 No, I'm just asking for the fun of it. I just want to know your point of view. But we've got an update seven months later. After a very short text to my brother asking what I've done and receiving zero response, I've gone completely no contact with my older brother. My father had booked me a flight to go see his graduation, but to his surprise, my older brother had blocked my father and told my mom that he does not want him there.

15:58 Wow.

15:59 Okay, what is happening? The week my mom and siblings left, I took my dad out and we had a conversation. I told them everything. My dad was shocked and asked me why I hadn't told them years ago. I said it was because for a while I believed that I was in the wrong until I moved out nearly a year ago. I explained all the reasons and points as to why I moved out, and he said that he fully supports me and my decisions. Once my mother and siblings came back, though, it's been heck. My mother called me up and yelled at me for interfering with her marriage?

16:33 For telling your dad the truth?

16:34 I think your mom hates you.

16:37 Yeah, what is wrong? My mother has also been slandering my father and has threatened a divorce upwards of about five times in the last three years. While I was crying really hard, holding hands with my boyfriend for support, I ripped into her. I told her that I have no trust for her and that's why she does not know where I live or who I associate with. I told her that I do love her, but she's enabled such toxic behavior for so long that I've learned to hate myself for it. I told her I will not bother rekindling a relationship that is over because, quite frankly, I couldn't give less of an F about my older brother's well-being. If he wanted to ever speak to me, the first words out of his mouth better be an

17:19 apology and an explanation because I'm simply going to disregard everything else. She threatened to curse me? And I said, go ahead. Not her being an Etsy witch.

17:31 I don't know.

17:33 Opie's been cursed for their entire childhood.

17:35 Exactly.

17:35 What worse could you possibly do? Yeah, I have no idea. Like get the rest of the family on your side? Okay, cool. I'm already going no contact.

17:41 I'd get up in her face and go, go ahead.

17:44 Yeah, bye. I want to know what Opie supposedly did.

17:47 Me too.

17:49 And I feel like we're not going to get it and that's really going to piss me off. But maybe we'll get it in the comments.

17:52 I don't know.

17:53 There's a little bit left. My father has been trying to play mediator ever since and I respect it. Last night he and I went out and he said that he will not divorce my mother. While he is fully aware that she is in the wrong, he has a moral, religious, and financial obligation to financially support his wife and his family.

18:11 If she went as far as getting a lawyer and giving him divorce papers, he said he would sign it and pay her whatever it is she wanted to make sure his kids and the woman he's loved for 35 years are comfortable and happy. I mean, you didn't do a very good job with OP.

18:25 Yeah, what?

18:26 I've never had so much respect for a person in my life. I said don't, but okay. I told him that I hope he's not angry at me for not sharing my location and friends with him. And he said don't bother because he would tell my mom if he did know. I don't like your dad.

18:41 Yeah, no one in this, everyone sucks except OP. OP literally did nothing wrong and everyone's just, like, blaming her for something she has.

18:49 No idea about. OP's dad just said, yeah, I'm not going to divorce her. And also, if you told me your location, I would immediately tell your mom who you don't want contact with. Like, that's cool. Okay, the one person I trust. Ah, okay, cool. I guess I don't trust anyone.

19:01 Keep going. I found an interesting comment.

19:05 It's been a hard summer so far, but it's been worth it.

19:08 Got it.

19:08 Okay.

19:09 Okay, give me a comment or something.

19:11 It's not going to be good. It's nothing that's going to really resolve anything. It's just context from OP. So, OP says, I didn't want to put this in the post, but I see it's necessary. My dad is passing away. He, uh, pretty soon at that. He just wants to leave peacefully. I'm pretty sure she says he wants to live peacefully, not leave peacefully. But, He just wants to live peacefully and has set up a lot of support to his family.

19:39 That being said, I did offer, which is why I told him that I would tell him where I live in case he wanted to get out. He told me that, religiously, as he is a very religious man, he will remain loyal. Okay.

19:40 Okay.

20:07 You just, yeah, I feel like it was just like, all right, cool.

20:09 I respect that. If you say so.

20:11 So he's going to do nothing about it and just let her deal with it. And then when he's gone, nothing's going to change. And you're still going to be a horrible person.

20:20 Got it. That's what that just told me.

20:24 That told me that you have no balls and you're not going to stand up for me, your child.

20:28 I understand not wanting to divorce your wife when you're passing away. It's like, what's the point? But call her out.

20:35 Call her out.

20:36 Like, say something to her.

20:37 Be like, hey, you are a mother.

20:41 This is not how a mother acts towards their children. Like, screw you. And I still don't know. I still don't know what she did.

20:48 At this point, too little, too late.

20:51 And that's the end of this story. We're going to go to the next one.

20:54 My family declared war over my wedding, so I got married in secret.

20:59 Two lovers, forbidden from one another.

21:03 My fiance, 35 male, and I, 30 female, have been dating since I was 20. We got engaged last year and have slowly been planning an intimate wedding for February 2024. We have a guest list of 35, close friends and family only. And we each chose two people to be groomsmen slash bridesmaids. She's having her sister's son, Six, as the ring bearer, and I decided to have his sister's daughter, Four, as the flower girl. I have an amazing relationship with his family and a very strained relationship with mine, although it is getting better with my parents. I had posted an announcement on our wedding Facebook page about the choices.

21:42 It was just a photo of the kids looking through dresses and suits with their mom. Two hours later, I got a call from my mother asking where the photo was taken and if it was where I was getting my dress. I told her it was them picking out their outfits for the wedding. She said, oh, that's cute, and then told me she had to go to an appointment, so we wrapped up the conversation, and that was that.

22:03 30 minutes later, my phone rang from a number I didn't recognize, so I ignored it. I don't pick up strange numbers. I saw they had left a voicemail, so I listened to it. It was my brother's wife. I don't have a good relationship with my brothers, so I don't speak to them unless forced to. She was livid, to say the least, yelling and crying about the fact that I didn't choose her son and daughter, that they would never forgive me, and that I am no aunt to them.

22:29 I just text back, who is this? I'm sure they're not even invited. Honestly. There's a thing. When you have a little small wedding, don't post about it. Yeah, it's true. Like, if you want it to be low-key.

22:42 Yeah.

22:44 By the way, this comes from Anon Annie 81877. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.

22:53 I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.

22:55 I'm Keon.

22:56 And we're here to give some good advice, goofily, but we don't have all your answers. We'd only tell you what we would do, but let us know what you would do down in the comments.

23:02 Did you say mansers?

23:04 Did I say what? We only have your mansers. We don't have your mansers. We don't have all the mansers. We only have a little mansers.

23:12 As OP says, I chose to ignore this, as I don't have a relationship with them and don't owe them any sort of explanation.

23:20 Smart.

23:21 I then got a call from my brother, which I didn't answer either. He didn't leave.

23:24 A voicemail and I didn't call him back.

23:26 Two days later, there was a knock on my door and who guessed it?

23:31 It was my brother and his wife.

23:33 She was demanding to know why I didn't pick their kids and why I gave some random kids their spot.

23:38 And you know what I do? I go, don't care. Slam the door.

23:42 Yeah. I go, when's the last time I saw you guys? Yeah, I'd be like, oh, wait. Do you guys remember the last conversation we had?

23:49 Neither do I. Or you just go, this is why.

23:54 Bye.

23:55 I calmly responded that it wasn't their spot and they aren't random kids. She began crying hysterically and saying that her kids deserved it and that I was such an awful person. I told them that she and my brother weren't even invited and they needed to get off my property. My brother was silent throughout this whole thing. Or I told my fiance what had happened when he got home from work. showed him our ring camera footage, and showed him the voicemail. I turned my phone off for the rest of the day and didn't turn it on until the morning. When I turned it on, I was bombarded with texts, calls, and social media messages and posts about how awful I was for punishing the children and how I went crazy on my brother and sister-in-law. I posted

24:37 the ring camera footage and the voicemail and tagged everyone who had made a post or sent me a text.

24:43 Yes.

24:45 I got several apologies, but I frankly didn't care. I get the apologies and then I block them.

24:50 Yeah, literally.

24:51 Bye.

24:52 Never talk to me or my family again.

24:53 Hate you.

24:54 Bye.

24:54 Our guest list went from 35 to 25 in a matter of minutes, and I am fine with that. My mother and father are mad about the situation and drama, but are, for the moment, staying out of it and telling us to figure our own crap out. I still have family, friends, and all of brother and sister-in-law's flying monkeys pestering me about not wanting.

25:13 Their kids in my wedding. And that I'm a monster for doing this. No, I just don't want my brother and sister-in-law there. Who you don't talk to. Do you want the kids to go solo?

25:24 So Reddit, am I wrong for punishing my niece and nephew and choosing my fiance's niece and nephew to be a prominent part of our wedding?

25:30 And there's an update. No, it's your wedding. You don't even talk to these people. They're not even invited.

25:37 And also, I'm seeing why you don't talk to them, because they're insane.

25:41 My kids deserve it.

25:43 What?

25:43 As me and Stain say, in Stain. That's in Stain.

25:47 There's an update I posted a few days ago about the predicament I was in with my family regarding my wedding. Well, in the three days since I posted, it has escalated far past what I ever thought. After I blocked everyone and uninvited people, I ended up deleting my wedding page and creating a private group chat with everyone who was still involved, which worked out perfectly. I told my mother I was going low contact with her and my father after everything that happened, and she was of course upset and wanted to talk it out. I told her that when she could admit she was wrong and apologize, we could.

26:25 I went into work a couple days later. I work half remote, half in office. And got called into my boss's office immediately.

26:32 Yikes.

26:34 What did they do?

26:36 He told me he was getting emails and calls about me from different people and that he was putting me on leave until I got this figured out. No.

26:45 And that's when you could actually like take them to court because they're affecting your job.

26:50 That's insane that they go that far. Because I didn't pick your kids to be in my wedding.

26:56 You're going to.

26:57 Make me unemployed? It's also crazy that the boss is like, yeah, I'm putting you on leave because people are emailing me about you. Like, just ignore it. Or you can call him and be like, what is this? I'm like, it's a family thing. Just ignore it.

27:08 Okay.

27:08 Yeah.

27:09 This has nothing to do with work. It has nothing to do with you. You can definitely win a lawsuit for that. That's crazy.

27:15 I had sent him an email about the entire situation when it happened, so he is completely understanding of it and doesn't want it to affect my work.

27:23 But he still puts you on leave, so that.

27:25 Is affecting your work.

27:25 I think it was a good type of leave. Maybe it was like, hey, do you want to like a break?

27:29 I don't know.

27:29 Weird.

27:30 When I got home, my brother was waiting for me alone.

27:34 Oh, please.

27:35 I sent a quick text.

27:36 To my fiance telling him my brother is here at the house and then started recording as I got out of my car. I asked him what he wanted and he told me he wanted to talk and asked if we can go inside. I told him we were fine talking in front of the house and he rolled his eyes at me. He asked why I was excluding his children and I honestly just about lost it. I asked him if he was seriously asking me that question. He started yelling at me that he's never done anything to me, that I'm a no-good liar, and that it's a wonder that my fiancé even wants me. I raised my voice and told him he was a hypocrite and that he and his wife were a match made in heck. I told him it was best he leave, and as he

28:16 was getting in his car, he made a nasty comment implying something might happen. to my car on the way to the wedding, then left.

28:24 Well, I hope you have all that repeated.

28:25 I have that all on camera, bucko.

28:28 And then you just make another post and you go, this is why he's still not coming to my wedding. And now you're getting threatened.

28:34 No, you should go, okay, now, you know what? Since you say that.

28:38 Yeah, since you say that, now I really want you at my wedding.

28:41 He goes, really? No.

28:44 No. I waited until I couldn't see him anymore to make sure he was actually leaving and I called the cops. I gave them copy of the video and all the other evidence and asked if I could get a no-contact order for the both of them. I'm not sure if it will be possible, but here's hoping. I'm debating canceling the wedding and going to the courthouse instead. We'd still have our close family there, and my fiancé' s niece and nephew can still be part of it. I was hoping to be able to update in a few months and tell you the wedding went perfectly, but I don't know if that's going to happen now.

29:16 Oh!

29:16 There's a second update. Don't let them win. Have your wedding. You're only having 25 people there. It's not going to be super stressful. And I don't know. Do they know where it is? Like, I don't know.

29:27 I would, if they know where it is and, like, when it's happening, definitely maybe change some stuff.

29:35 Like, change location and date or something. Well, a little hard with deposits. Yeah. I would just expect. Yeah.

29:41 Or, yeah, and then have to. Well, that's why I think she's trying to get new contact. Because if they, you know, break contact, then jail. Update two, more than a month later. My last update wasn't exactly a good one. But I am happy to say this one will be. Yay!

29:58 I am officially married.

29:59 Yay!

30:01 Moved into a new home.

30:02 Woo!

30:03 And I'm pregnant!

30:05 What?

30:07 The no contact orders are still fully in place and will stay that way as long as possible. My husband and I decided to have a very small, very low-key ceremony at a cabin a few hours from our home. We told everyone we invited that it was going to be a Christmas vacation and to keep it a secret. They all showed up and in the morning, we were married.

30:26 In our PJs, coffee in hand, surrounded by the people we'd love. I mean, I love that. See, like, I hate how you have to go through crappy things in order to get, like, a.

30:38 Very good ending.

30:38 Yeah.

30:39 I just want to have a happy ending.

30:41 Like, Trials and Tribulations and all, now, now it's like, oh my gosh, now the water, or the sky is clear, the waters have settled.

30:49 You gotta dig a little deeper.

30:50 I'm pregnant.

30:53 It could not have been more perfect and it was needed after all the craziness. After we got back, my dad asked if he could talk to my husband and I alone.

31:01 Oh, no. I was reluctant, but agreed.

31:03 We met up at a coffee place, and he told me that my mom had not told him the truth.

31:08 About what? Um, I don't know what to think of this. What would the mom... What truth has she been hiding? Maybe there will be a marriage and a divorce at the end of this.

31:22 Oh.

31:23 What is it? Three weddings and a funeral or something?

31:25 Wow.

31:25 I think it's four weddings and a funeral. Oh, so many weddings.

31:29 Huge rant.

31:29 Did not like that movie. So much cheating.

31:32 More like huge rant.

31:33 Ooh.

31:37 She was telling him that I was seeking out my brother and sister-in-law and had promised that their children would have a place in the wedding and that I was the one causing all of this.

31:46 Blatant lie?

31:48 He didn't truly believe it, but he's always been a pushover when it comes to my mom and didn't argue with it. He found all of the legal documents they had been served and left her. He's now staying at an Airbnb and in contact with a divorce lawyer.

32:02 You were right.

32:04 It's a marriage and a divorce. I forgive him, but made it clear he is on very thin ice. He understood and is actively trying to make it up to us, which is appreciated. We moved into our new forever home in a nice, secure neighborhood, and it has been a breath of fresh air. No bad memories, no surprises, just good vibes. So this will be my final update to this insane situation. Thank you again for all your advice and support. Happy New Year, and I wish you all nothing but happiness. Dinks!

32:37 Okay, so it did work out in the end. In the end, yeah. We eventually got there. Hopefully there's no funeral.

32:43 Yeah.

32:45 My God. Worried with the brothers' threats, but maybe the court order will keep them away.

32:50 Like an apple.

32:52 Apple a day. Like an apple for a doctor. Quarter order a day keeps your brother away.

32:57 Quarter order a day. And that's the end of this story. We're going to go to the next one.

33:02 Hey, it's Keon, the silliest goose. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

33:09 I discovered my father spying on me years after doing it on my mother. What's his name? Peepin' Tom? So my parents got divorced a couple of years back. My dad has been pretty involved with spicy workers and blew thousands of dollars of family money on this habit.

33:25 He went like this.

33:26 This is a day I'm all ladies.

33:30 So I'm guessing he has cheated on her multiple times.

33:34 Think that's the implication okay i'm i'm just making sure no he just likes to keep these ladies employed he's.

33:39 Like it's the oldest profession in the book i just like keeping it afloat.

33:42 I just support women the divorce started out pretty amicably but when my dad started to realize he was going to lose a lot of his money he wanted to cut my brother and i off of his health insurance plan take away college money etc i was 21 at the time and my brother 19th My dad was also pretty intensely cyber-stalking and physically stalking my mom once she had started to move on. He put a tracker on her car, a key locker on her computer, all of these things. We changed all of her passwords, and then the next day she was locked out of her accounts because my dad had changed them all back.

34:18 How?

34:19 How did he do that? He shouldn't be able to do that.

34:22 He's a spy.

34:23 It took lawyers getting involved because of this intimidation to get insurance details righted, college money restored, and get reparations paid back to my mom for all the spicy money he used. I contemplated cutting him out of my life back then, but I just felt terribly guilty about all of it, even though my brother cut off communications. By the way, this comes from Shannon E3, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash showcase story time subreddit. And I'm Sophia. And I'm Savannah.

34:53 And I'm Keon.

34:55 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do, so let us know what you would do in the comments. I hope he says. Fast forward to now, and my dad and I have somewhat of a relationship. It's improved a lot since the divorce years, even though I've caught him in a lot of lies and shady behavior still. However, I recently got married back in May, and my husband and I found out we were expecting a baby due in April. We've been working towards merging our finances when I got a notification from my bank that the contact phone number on my account had just been changed to my dad's phone number.

35:32 How? Yeah, how did the bank approve that?

35:36 How?

35:39 I just felt so sick. I know he was the one who put that number on my account, which means he probably yet again is doing something shady to access my account. I told my brother about it and he's livid and ready to confront my dad. And I think I am too. I called my bank about the phone number change. And while they won't give me the IP address, the change was made from, they can confirm it was done through a verified login. And it was not myself or my husband. Can we tell the bank to like, Never change it to that number, please.

36:11 Yeah.

36:12 Or be like, oh, that's my. Unless I verbally call you to change my number. Yeah. Like it's your account.

36:18 I guess unless at some point he was linked to it and then just you thought maybe he wasn't on it, but he's still it.

36:24 I don't know. So would I be the a-hole for confronting my dad and possibly cutting off contact? In what way would you be the a-hole? Yeah, what? You should have done that years ago. He's getting into your life. I'm so sick of being locked out of accounts, having my private information screwed with, and at this point I don't want my future child or family having to deal with all of this intimidation and stalking. We've got an update, but what do you think, Savannah? I think that he is a freak, and... How is he getting access to all of this stuff? That's what I'm wondering. Is that what he does? Does he not have a job? It sounds like he's just super shady. Or he works in, like, cybersecurity. Yeah,

37:02 hacks into people's accounts.

37:03 But they said it was all legal, what he was doing. Like, it's a verified thing, so. But I just don't understand.

37:09 Like, I don't.

37:10 It's verifiably hacked.

37:13 I don't know.

37:14 This is weird.

37:14 I don't know how he's doing this. This is strange. You should ask Riley. Maybe he would know. How do you hack into someone's account? How to hack? How to hack into account? How to hack my daughter's account? So I got a lot of great advice from this sub, and I wanted to thank everyone who took the time to respond. I ended up taking my computer into Geek Squad, and they did find a keylogger on it. Ooh, tough.

37:40 They removed the keylogger, and I spent some time picking a few files that I felt were safe to save and wiped my hard drive. I'm set up now with a new bank account that has fake security questions that are written down on a piece of paper and filed away. Now that my hard drive is wiped, I've also changed passwords on every account and set up two-factor authentication on every account where that is possible. We've got a little bit left to this story. Any final thoughts? What is a keylogger? I think when a third-party... adds some sort of thing onto your computer that basically allows them to hack your stuff. It's like an extra, like it's like a virus thing. And he just has that? Yeah, you usually have to have access to the physical computer at

38:33 some point. So maybe he saw her and, I don't know.

38:37 Do you want like the full definition? Because there's software keylogger and hardware keylogger. Just to give you the general definition, a keylogger, or keystrokelogger, is a type of surveillance tool or malware that secretly records every key press on a keyboard. Cybercriminals use them to steal sensitive data like passwords, messages, and credit card details, while employers or parents may use them for legitimate monitoring.

39:03 Yeah, but you have to somehow have access to the computer first, whether... Virtually or in person. Maybe she's had this computer for a while. It records every movie made on your computer. Oh, you can copy and paste. Dying. What a fool. Katie Pallon says, didn't know you could have fake security questions for that kind of stuff. I'm assuming that she means like, who's your kindergarten teacher? And she just puts a fake name. Yeah, that's what I thought. too.

39:31 Many of you advised against having a conversation with my father, but my brother and I ultimately decided that for the sake of closure, it was something that we needed. He of course denied everything. And while the conversation was frustrating to say the least, it also gave me the permission I needed to let go of him and go no contact.

39:50 We've contacted the authorities about the bank account change and are in the process of opening an investigation. We made that clear to my father in the conversation as well to hopefully dissuade any further intrusion attempts. My hard drive is clean. I've blocked his email address and phone number and have deleted all old emails that could contain downloadable files and malware. This is going to be a long road and feeling like we're safe, but I think I'm finally heading in the right direction. Thanks again for everyone who commented on the original post. And that's the end of the story. Oh, I would hate that.

40:23 I mean, I have nothing to hide on my computer, but like if my parents just like had access to it.

40:28 And then like would change stuff around. Oh, angry, pissed off, la la la.

40:35 And that's the end of this story. We're going to go to the next one.

40:39 My friends wanted my ex-wife to house sit while I traveled with my girlfriend.

40:44 So I said no.

40:45 That sounds reasonable. I, 44 male, got.

40:48 Divorced recently after a pretty rough marriage. I've been trying to move forward, establish some healthy boundaries, and build a new life. I've also started seeing someone, and we're taking a long weekend trip together. A close couple friend of mine was supposed to come with us. The wife is still very good friends with my ex-wife. The issue started because we both have dogs. Their preferred solution was for my ex-wife to stay at my house while I was away and watch my dogs. She would also watch their dog.

41:15 The thing is, I've done this before. My ex-wife has stayed at my house while I was out of town every time it seemed to create some kind.

41:23 Of issue afterwards.

41:24 Comments about things in my house, comments about how I'm living, questions about stuff that frankly isn't her business anymore. Nothing huge, but enough where I realized I don't really want to keep doing it. So this time I said no.

41:37 By the way, this.

41:38 Comes from RemoteDiligent7640, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.

41:45 I'm Savannah.

41:45 I'm Keon.

41:46 And we're here to talk about some stuff, give some advice in a little goofy way, but we don't have all your answers. We only tell you what we would do, but let us know what you would do.

41:54 Down in the comments. As Opie says... I didn't just leave them hanging either.

41:59 We have a babysitter slash pet sitter that we've used for years. She's responsible, knows the dogs, and was willing to help both of us. I thought it was a pretty reasonable solution.

42:09 I don't understand why we have to use your ex-wife for this.

42:11 Yeah, it sounds better than the other option.

42:13 You literally have someone that you pay and their title is pet sitter. Why do we need to use your ex-wife?

42:19 Yeah, I mean, if your friends want to use your ex-wife, cool, but you can use the pet sitter.

42:24 Yeah, keep going.

42:25 Call me crazy.

42:26 Crazy.

42:27 My friend's wife wasn't comfortable with that. She only wanted my ex-wife. At that point, they decided not to go on the trip. Now they're upset with me. My buddy basically told me that if the rules were reversed, he'd do whatever it took to make the trip work. He said I was being selfish and that the whole thing was BS.

42:43 What are you talking about? Why is this being selfish?

42:46 I just didn't want my ex-wife in my space anymore because notice how.

42:49 She's an ex-wife.

42:51 Notice how I'm making a boundary with that. We also have a pet sitter.

42:55 Yeah.

42:55 What are we doing?

42:56 Who does the same thing, but won't give me issues afterwards.

42:59 If roles were reversed, if you wouldn't want your ex-wife to be doing that, right?

43:03 Exactly.

43:03 Unless if you guys are like amicable, but this is a fresh divorce, my guy.

43:07 Part of their argument.

43:09 Is that a few weeks ago, we were all together on Father's Day and my ex-wife and I were joking around and being friendly.

43:14 Fair enough. I had a few drinks and was probably more playful than I should have been.

43:18 But being friendly for a few hours at a family event is very different than wanting my ex-wife staying in my house while I'm away with my new girlfriend.

43:26 Yeah, and that's the other thing is like, I don't want to come home to my ex-wife.

43:30 Yeah, how was your trip? Let's talk about it.

43:32 With my new girlfriend.

43:34 Yeah, be like, also, my new girlfriend? I was going to say, what does the new girlfriend think about this? Because I would feel like she's very uncomfortable with that idea, too.

43:43 I would.

43:43 I mean, if I was in the girlfriend situation, I'd be like, ah, are you sure you can't use anyone else?

43:49 I don't know. I don't like your friends right now. Your friends are pissing me off.

43:53 Also, just because I allowed something before doesn't mean I have to be comfortable with it forever. True. Sometimes you do something a few times and then realize, yeah, this actually isn't healthy for me. For additional context, my friends know exactly what happened in my marriage and how difficult the divorce was. That's part of why I'm so surprised by the reaction. What bothers me most is that I actually tried to solve the problem. It wasn't my way or the highway. I found another option. They just didn't like the option. I also can't help but wonder if some of this has less to do with the dog and more to do with the fact that my friend's wife is still close friends with my ex-wife. and maybe

44:30 feels conflicted about going on a couple's trip with me and my new girlfriend. I don't know if that's true, but it has crossed my mind. So, am I the a-hole for holding the boundary and refusing to let my ex-wife stay at my house, even though it resulted in my friends canceling the trip and now being angry with me?

44:46 I have so... Biggest question. It's your house. Why is there even an opinion about who takes care of your house and your dogs when you guys are away?

44:56 Yeah, and I'm sure you... both live in separate houses.

45:00 Like you live in your house and then your friends live in another house. Like, are you guys going to combine the dogs like while you're away or something?

45:08 Very confused by this. We're like, if you guys want to use my, if you guys want to use my ex-wife as like a house sitter for your house, by all means.

45:14 Exactly.

45:14 What is my house?

45:16 Yeah, but I'm going to pay someone to watch my dogs. And they're like, wow.

45:20 I'm like, I don't know.

45:21 I just don't want to do it.

45:23 You can also be like, hey, your relationship with my ex-wife? Cool, whatever. Why are you not going on this trip with me? What's the real reason? It's definitely not this dog sitting thing or, oh, you want to use your ex-wife for a house sitter. There has to be something else. There's no way it's just because of that sole reason.

45:40 Yeah, I think maybe the friend told the wife, their ex-wife, and then now the ex-wife is like, oh, well.

45:46 You know, why would you even want to go on that earth?

45:47 He's so immature.

45:49 Like maybe she's talking crap in her ear and she's close with her still. So I don't know.

45:54 I'm looking at my friend like, bro, what?

45:57 There's an update.

45:58 Wow.

45:58 Did not expect this to blow up. I posted this during the USA game, watched the game and crashed right after. So I'm just now catching up on comments. I think I addressed most questions with my edit below. Few things I probably should have explained better. The couple lives directly next door to me, okay. The original plan wasn't for my ex-wife to stay at their house. The plan was for her to stay overnight at my house, watch my dogs, and then walk next door to take care of their dog.

46:23 Their dog is very old, very small, and deaf, so I do understand why they were worried about having someone unfamiliar watch him. I don't think that's unreasonable. That said, the person I suggested wasn't a random stranger. She's a babysitter slash pet sitter we've used, and someone we trust.

46:39 She knows our dogs and was willing to help with both houses.

46:42 My ex-wife also lives about five minutes away, so there were other possible arrangements besides her staying overnight in my home. She could have checked in multiple times a day, or they could have worked something out directly with her. Another wrinkle is that my ex-wife is currently watching her mother's dog, and that dog has snapped at my neighbor's dog before, so the situation wasn't quite as simple as, just have my ex-wife watch the dog. One thing I also didn't mention is that my ex-wife and I have children together.

47:10 This isn't just a house to me, it's also my kid's home. Part of moving forward after the divorce has been creating healthier boundaries around what is still shared and what isn't.

47:20 What do we think?

47:22 Okay, things got a little bit more complicated here, but it's still, same answer. Just have your ex-wife watch their deaf dog house sit for them and have your own house sitter. Don't care if you guys are neighbors, they should understand that. Sure, I mean, Maybe it's a little bit easier if you have your ex-wife do both, but you don't need that. You have a boundary. You set your boundary. Why can't your friends understand that that's not unreasonable?

47:44 Exactly.

47:45 And also, if she's watching another dog, she's watching her mother's dog who doesn't get along with like the neighbor's dog, whatever, then she shouldn't be going back and forth because one, the smell, like the scent, it's going to, you know, Like, just being with other dogs, like, the mean dog is going to smell the scent, you know, whatever. And it's just, I don't know, it's going to stress everyone out.

48:07 At this point, why do we need to figure out a solution for our houses together? We live in separate houses. Let's just go on our trip, figure that out. Great. Your house, my house, two separate things, two separate problems, two separate issues. I got my solution. You can use my ex-wife for your solution.

48:28 Great.

48:29 Figured it out if your neighbors does it doesn't matter whatever let's finish this up.

48:34 For those saying i'm being inconsistent because i've allowed my ex-wife to stay at my house before that's actually part of the reason i said no this time after doing it previously i realized it wasn't healthy for me it blurred boundaries that i'm trying to establish as i move forward just because i was okay with something before doesn't mean i have to keep being okay with it forever I wasn't trying to stop them from going. In fact, I spent time trying to find another solution because I genuinely wanted them there. I just wasn't willing to make the solution be my ex-wife staying overnight in my house.

49:06 And that's so reasonable.

49:08 Exactly.

49:10 You're setting a boundary and they need to respect that as much as your ex-wife.

49:14 It also makes no sense. She lives five minutes away. Okay, whatever. Maybe that's like the simplest solution, but we're adults. We can have our own problems be solved by our own solutions.

49:24 If I don't want my.

49:25 Ex-wife in my house, then I'm not going to hire her to watch my light pads.

49:30 Like, it just, it makes sense. And if they want to, if.

49:33 They want to use that reason for not going on a trip.

49:36 Bye.

49:37 Bye. Okay, fine. You know what? See you when we get back. Can you house it for us?

49:41 I was going to say that. Can you guys watch the dog since you're not going?

49:44 Yeah, great. Problem solved.

49:46 Yeah.

49:47 It's just, there was no reason for this at all.

49:49 And that's the end of this story. We're going to go to the next one.

49:53 My husband left me out of nowhere after 17 years and two kids.

49:57 That's rough.

49:59 So, my husband is leaving me but won't give me a reason. I just need a space to say what happened before I start telling my children and family. About three weeks ago, my husband and I had a long talk where he said he wasn't happy in our relationship. He didn't give me a specific reason, just that he was not happy. I asked him to put more effort in and see how we both feel after a holiday he was taking with his friends. Well, during the holiday...

50:22 He rang me all day, every day, sent messages constantly, told me he loved me at the end of every conversation. It was so good having him be like that again. Today, after a few things happening that I wasn't happy about, I asked him how he was feeling, and he said he hasn't been happy for months, and that he wanted to separate. I asked him to do couples therapy, and he said no.

50:43 I mean, just because it's been bad for a couple months.

50:49 I don't know. It doesn't seem, it seems like something else is going on.

50:52 I feel like something way deeper is going on here. Let's find out. Opie says, I asked if he was 100% sure. Are you sure that this is what he wanted? And he said, yes. The conversation was a couple of hours long, but that's the gist of it. He says he loves me, but he's not happy when he comes home. I said, you realize that you're not happy with dinner on the table every night, a clean house, and a family that loves you? I do 100% of the housework and pay half the bills. By the way, this comes from user FancyParsnip3415, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Keon.

51:31 I'm Dakota.

51:32 And we don't know everything, guys. Come on, look at us. Listen to us. Or don't. We only know what we do, so let us know what you do in the comments down below. As OP says, We've been together 17 years. This hurts so badly. How can he decide that he just doesn't want to be here anymore? We have two children.

51:49 I asked him when he started feeling like this, and he said it was before September. I had no clue at all. But you know what was happening at that time? My mother was sick. so I didn't pay as much attention to the relationship. Opie says, I'm glad my mother passed away. Whoa. Oh, and didn't live to see this mess of my life. Okay. She thought the world of him, and she was so sure he'd never do this. I can't believe this is happening. I can't afford the house by myself, even with child support payments. I'll probably have to move in with my 70-year-old dad once my rent contract is up. He'll not be happy about me and two teenagers uprooting his life, but I know I can rely on my father. I am so angry. And we

52:32 have an update four months later. Any insight, any ideas why our husband wants to be now ex-husband, Dakota?

52:42 I mean, the smart money move would be infidelity. The smart money move is just, oh, he's been unhappy ever. For a relatively a brief amount of time in your relationship and doesn't want to do any kind of counseling might be infidelity.

52:57 He could be also getting whispers from friends who are single or like not in a serious relationship. And he's like, oh, I wow, because probably started off young.

53:07 Yeah, but he's got he's got two teenagers too late. You're stuck.

53:12 That's the life you chose. But maybe he was just like maybe he's having that midlife crisis of dang. What did I do with my life kind of thing?

53:20 Whatever it is, it's so earth shattering, he had to immediately leave after 17 years.

53:25 Zero reason. Well, we have an update four months later. Let's find out if we actually get a reason. Let's see. Opie says, so, so many people commented saying that he was cheating. And guess what, Dakota? You get a gold star. And anyone else who thought it was cheating, you get a gold star too because he was.

53:44 Gold stars.

53:46 The full story came out a couple of months after the separation. He had been sleeping with someone from work.

53:54 No way. Who does that?

53:57 Well, this guy couldn't even tell you, hey, I'm cheating on you. And I just don't, I like that more.

54:02 Yeah, I like, I mean, no matter what he does, he's the bad guy.

54:06 He's either the guy who randomly leaves his family for no reason, or he's the guy who left because he cheated on his wife.

54:13 I just found out that he is living with her. Wow. A while ago, he asked me to forgive him, and he asked if he could come home. What a idiot.

54:24 He's like, can I come home also with my mistress, please?

54:27 Yeah.

54:28 Her place is smaller. I like our place better.

54:30 I said no. He hurt me way too much to be able to come home. So, now they live together. Little bit left here. Yikes.

54:39 Biggie yikes.

54:40 I don't know, OP. That's crazy. To have your relationship, your world, your foundation, you didn't do anything wrong, and he just goes and cheats on you.

54:50 Yeah, this is what you should do. Hire neighborhood kids to throw rocks at him.

54:55 Don't worry, his karma will come sooner or later. OP continues saying, I'm having some sort of feelings about this, but I'm actually much happier. My house is so peaceful. I love that I live with just my kids. The freedom is unreal. Without him, I can do what I want. There's no one to tell me to wash clothes, cook dinner, or expect spicy sleep. I'm 100% sure he treats his girlfriend better than how he treated me. I even got myself a boyfriend. Whoa, moving on. Moving quick.

55:24 Okay.

55:25 Good on you, OP. It's early days, but he treats me unbelievably well. I'm so hopeful for the future. Thanks for reading. And to those who gave me advice and told me he was cheating, yeah, you were right. I'm glad that cheater's gone. And that's the end of that story. I think, OP, obviously, this happens every time in a breakup or an end of a relationship where you go, No, the good times, the good times, the good times. And you look at the bad times too. And you go, wait, the bad really outweighs the good sometimes. If the relationship's toxic.

55:59 And OP, you figured it out. You knew you deserved better and you were being treated horribly. So let that cheater be scummy somewhere else.

56:09 And that's the end of this story. We're going to go to the next one.

56:12 Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite goofball host here.

56:15 And we're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My wife's polyamory ended our marriage. Now she wants me raising her new baby. That's a whole lot of no. I, 36 male, have been separated from my wife, 30 female, for about 18 months. We share one child together who's 8, female, and she was the step-parent to my oldest daughter, 13, female.

56:42 For the story purposes, I refer to my ex-wife as Mindy. The separation was mostly mutual. She wanted a polyamorous relationship. We tried it, and it failed. Ultimately, it led to our separation and pending divorce. Well, good on you, at least, for being like, this is not working and it broke.

57:03 I'm so glad you didn't just stay.

57:05 Before we separated, we had a monopoly relationship. A little man in a top hat would make love to my wife while I just kind of did my thing.

57:14 Here's your get-out-of-jail-free card.

57:17 She was Polly and I was Mono.

57:19 Along came Polly, from Indy.

57:21 Ew, gross.

57:22 Mindy was seeing Chad? Why would you pick that?

57:27 Because we have to hate Chad.

57:28 Once we separated, he became her primary partner while she continued having other flings. Ironically, Chad and Mindy weren't actually poly together. They just cheated on each other constantly. By the way, this comes from MentalNoise9140. If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.

57:47 I'm Dakota.

57:48 I'm Keon.

57:49 We're going to read this story of this beautiful relationship, and we're going to have our takes on it. We're going to say what we think, but we don't know everything. So keep that in mind as you tell us what you know in the comments. Their relationship is a walking red flag. Cheating, lying, financial issues, and just about every other unhealthy behavior you could think of.

58:12 I don't like Chad. You don't say. You don't like him?

58:15 Okay.

58:17 I don't think we needed that context of you not liking Chad. I think we knew you didn't like Chad.

58:22 I don't like Chad.

58:23 I hate Chad. But you know what? Chad and your ex-wife are better off without you.

58:29 That's right.

58:30 Well, yeah. That was called sarcasm.

58:34 Yeah.

58:35 I mean, they are better off. Because they don't want to be with a partner who's loyal and cares.

58:40 They just want to.

58:42 They want a relationship on the hardest difficulty and said, let's make it even harder.

58:46 I just want a relationship where they're like, can we just cheat on each other constantly? That'd be great. My kids don't like Chad. Mindy's family doesn't like Chad.

58:55 Wow.

58:55 Wow.

59:00 Wants nothing to do with Mindy anymore and hasn't spoken to her since Mindy announced she was pregnant.

59:05 Wow.

59:06 Over the last several months, I've started noticing behaviors from Mindy that I feel are a little self-centered. She always seems to be the victim in everything and everything somehow just happens to her. And if something doesn't benefit her, she wants nothing to do with it.

59:23 Wow. I don't know what happened, but she does not sound like a good person.

59:28 She woke up to her girl boss reality. She's girl bossing it.

59:33 Your 13-year-old's like, I don't like her. That's your mother. Don't like her.

59:37 Stepmother.

59:38 Yeah, I was still that mother. Mother.

59:41 We were together for almost 13 years and were genuinely best friends. Since separating, we've tried to keep things as friendly as possible for our daughter. The downside is that she consistently tries to keep me involved in her life. Months ago, she talked about terminating the pregnancy. More recently, she's talked about placing the baby up for adoption. She regularly asks if I'll help with childcare support and raising the baby.

1:00:08 Huh?

1:00:09 What are you talking about?

1:00:10 OP, this is where you do your very best duck or goose impression.

1:00:14 You go, huh?

1:00:16 This woman's going to argue that you're a bad person making her life harder, probably, because she got pregnant with the man she left you for?

1:00:24 You know, if this was the type of person that I was in a relationship with, I'd look at her, turn to the wall, and be like, the wall is better to argue with. Thanks, wall.

1:00:34 Her relationship with Chad is an exhausting roller coaster where she says she wants nothing to do with him, but she also doesn't want to be alone raising the baby. It's all incredibly chaotic, and honestly, I still have trouble wrapping my head around it.

1:00:50 OP, we don't even know you guys, and we have trouble wrapping our heads around it.

1:00:54 Yeah, I'm trying to wrap my head around why you should know anything about it.

1:00:58 The only way, the only reason you should be communicating with her is about.

1:01:02 Your daughter.

1:01:02 Your eight-year-old daughter.

1:01:03 That's it.

1:01:04 Now for the reason I'm posting. Mindy's having a baby shower in August. Our youngest, the child we had together, is excited to become a big sister, while my teenager wants absolutely nothing to do with Mindy, Chad, or the baby, and I don't blame her. Mindy also wants me at the baby shower, at the hospital when the baby is born, and to help her after the baby arrives.

1:01:28 She really thinks this is the type of person who's like, I am going to have, I'm going to make my cake and have it too. That's crazy.

1:01:36 Is this like a brain tumor situation?

1:01:39 Like what in the name of the good Lord above could possibly make her think that she's entitled to you today?

1:01:48 Raising this child like it's yours yeah maybe when you guys were together.

1:01:52 Yeah yeah maybe and.

1:01:55 If it was your kid is that what she's trying.

1:01:57 To imply i don't know they've been separated for 18 months.

1:02:02 Go ask chad go ask the country of chad.

1:02:04 Yeah go ask go ask find a new primary chad doesn't want to raise his baby find the guy who does part of me does want to help Because I want to be a positive role model for my daughters. I want them to see that even when relationships end badly, you can still choose kindness and maturity.

1:02:22 But a much larger part.

1:02:24 Of me feels like I'd be stepping back into a life I've spent the last 18 months trying to leave behind. I'd have to use paid time off and spend the day surrounded by people I either don't know or don't particularly like and celebrate a relationship I don't support. I don't want to create unnecessary drama, and I would tell Mindy well before the shower that I won't be attending so she isn't blindsided. I just don't think going would be good for my mental health. I fully intend to continue co-parenting our daughter and supporting her excitement about becoming a big sister, but I don't feel like attending my ex-wife's baby shower... or becoming part of her support system is my responsibility anymore.

1:03:02 Am I the a-hole for deciding not to go?

1:03:04 There is another update, but no, you're not the a-hole for not wanting to be at this event.

1:03:10 Let your daughter be at the event. You guys have split custody.

1:03:14 Yes, I know you're trying to be a good role model to your daughter, OP, and this is where probably a lot of the comments and anyone you've told to who actually cares about you goes, to be a good role model, you can also say no. You can teach your daughter how to say no and set healthy boundaries when you know this isn't right. You literally said, my mental health, my emotional capacity cannot do this.

1:03:39 There's really more upside, I think, in teaching your daughters that, yeah, sometimes things don't work and you don't have to become shackled to it for the rest of your life just because you want to feel like a good person.

1:03:54 Yeah.

1:03:56 If your wife was a good person, she would never put this pressure on you. She would say, I made the decision to leave. I'm having this child completely outside of my previous relationship with OP. Why in God's name would I ask him to essentially help me father this child?

1:04:12 That's not his.

1:04:13 That just doesn't make any sense. Yeah, it's the thing of, uh, you can teach your daughter this. Before you make anyone else happy, do what's best for you first.

1:04:24 Yeah, and I don't know about, I mean, I don't know if I would suggest tempering your eight-year-old's expectations about being.

1:04:31 The big sister.

1:04:32 That, too. Very weird.

1:04:34 Yeah, because it's like, I mean, because it's to her, her mom's having a baby. She's not old enough to understand all that that entails. She will, I guess, at some point, but should you temper that?

1:04:45 I'm wondering what Mindy's telling the daughter. Because Mindy said to OP, oh, I'm probably going to put it up for adoption because I don't have a father figure for this child.

1:04:55 Mindy's made a mess. Update. First, holy cow, I was not expecting this kind of response and I am truly grateful for all of them. I'm located in the United States and the divorce is being worked on.

1:05:08 Since her pregnancy announcement, things have been paused because we will need to do a petition to disestablish paternity with a DNA test. Once the child is born. Unfortunately, this is not my first divorce where this has happened. Also, I know I'm not the father. I was snipped back in 2022.

1:05:26 Snip, snap.

1:05:27 And we were not intimate with each other during her conception time frame. I will not be attending the shower. I know that conversation is going to cause a war. And that is the end of that story.

1:05:39 Why should it?

1:05:40 Why should it cause a war? That's how crazy this is.

1:05:43 Why would it cause a war to be like, I don't like the relationship you have with this guy. You've literally were like, I'm going to terminate the pregnancy. I'm going to put the baby up for adoption. Now it's like, okay, you're going to have the baby with this guy, except you want.

1:05:56 Me to like help you raise it and support.

1:05:58 You and like take care of your child with this dude that like, what are we talking about?

1:06:04 OP, this is going to be a one-sided war. I think you're going to be fine. The fact that majority of people, one, don't like Chad, but two, To probably think Mindy is insane for this behavior, I think you're going to be okay. Just tell her no. What is she going to do? What can she do? I think you'll be fine.

1:06:21 I would track everything, just communicate with her through whatever co-parenting app or, you know, just... You got to keep everything strictly business with her, I think. Because she certainly sounds like the kind of person who would try to make your life miserable because.

1:06:40 You refuse to just, like, do exactly what she wants you to do.

1:06:44 Nah. Just honestly, you know what you need to do, OP. I think you'll be okay.

1:06:51 And that's the end of this story.