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The Art Of Coaching

E419 | The One Question that Lowers Defensiveness Before Giving Feedback

Montag, 23. März 2026 · 14 min

MP3

Shownotes

Most people have spent years studying feedback — the frameworks, the techniques, the dos and don'ts. But almost nobody has ever been asked one simple question before receiving it: How do you want feedback?

That's the focus of today's episode. Brett breaks down why this single question might be the most underrated communication tool in your arsenal — and why it works on a level most people never think about.

It's not a hack. It's not a trick. It's old-style values that the noise of modern leadership advice has buried. And once you start using it, you'll wonder why you ever walked into a feedback conversation without it.

What You’ll Learn:

∙ Why most feedback conversations fail before a single word is spoken.

∙ How one question disarms defensiveness and gives you useful intel at the same time.

∙ ⁠The difference between catering to someone's preferences and surrendering to them.

∙ Why this is power dynamics in action — and why that's a good thing.

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