EP 261: When It's Not Working: Troubleshooting

You've learned about the nervous system, you're trying to co-regulate, you're thinking about felt safety and connection — and the behavior is still happening! WHY?!?! This episode is a troubleshooting guide for exactly that moment. Instead of going back to the drawing board, we're going deeper into the same map: getting curious about regulation, felt safety, connection, and skills to figure out what the nervous system actually needs.
In this episode you'll learn:
• Why the question is never "what consequence haven't I tried yet?" — and what to ask instead
• How to troubleshoot each of the four conditions that need to be in place for behavior to be okay: regulation, felt safety, connection, and skills
• Why a child can "know" a skill and still not be able to access it — and what scaffolding that skill actually looks like
Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Podcast Episodes
• Ep 198: All Behavior Makes Sense (robyngobbel.com/allbehaviormakessense) — deep dive into the moment the behavioral impulse fires
• Ep. 9: Building the Tower of Self Regulation (robyngobbel.com/towerofregulation) — very early episode about trust and what it means for kids with vulnerable nervous systems; link to go in show notes
• Starts at Ep. 161: Felt Safety series (robyngobbel.com/feltsafetyinside) — multiple episodes: one on inside, one on outside, one on between
Books
• Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors — specifically Chapter 7 (Nat's story); available in paperback, ebook, and audio wherever books are sold; bulk ordering at RobynGobbel.com/Book (robyngobbel.com/Book)
• Guided Journal for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors (schulerbooks.com/book/9781805018193) — pre-order available; publishes September 21; signed copies available through her local bookstore
Free Resources
• Free Resource Hub — RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub (robyngobbel.com/FreeResourceHub)
• Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors — free audio training for professionals; May 4–8, 2026; register at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors (robyngobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors)
Paid / Member Resources
• The Club resource library — includes the troubleshooting worksheet and the Growing a Child's Owl Brain with Felt Safety packet/workbook (~40 pages) RobynGobbel.com/TheClub (robyngobbel.com/TheClub)
• Professional Immersion Program — students and alumni also have access to the troubleshooting worksheet RobynGobbel.com/Immersion (robyngobbel.com/Immersion)
In-Person Trainings
• Full list at RobynGobbel.com/Training (robyngobbel.com/Training)
Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/itsnotworking (robyngobbel.com/itsnotworking)

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Over on my website you can find:
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