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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

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  1. A Triumph of Pure Delight with Trixie and Katya

    What you are about to hear is the absolute apex of what humanity has frequently referred to as "joy." The following sixty-ish minutes of audio and video are a glorious, overflowing symphony of happiness so immense it almost seems too dazzli

  2. The Bride and the Betrothed with Trixie and Katya

    Ms. Trixie Mattel and Ms. Katya Zamo kindly request the distinguished honor of your presence at their most magnificent nuptial celebration, where the theme shall be "Baroque Techno Jurassic Gothic Cyborg Barbie Vampire." It will be held at

  3. The Squirtle Spurtle with Trixie and Katya

    If you thought oatmeal recipes couldn't be sensual, you'd be dead wrong. Dim the lights, burn that bergamot arousal candle from your cousin's bachelorette party, and bring 1 cup of steel-cut oats to a slow, smoldering simmer in 4 cups of cr

  4. A Motherforking Clusterfluff with Trixie and Katya

    Welcome back to another motherflocking, cockadoodle, son-of-a-biscuit episode of The Bald and the Beautiful, where our dolls yap their pretty little ash-offs about fame, folly, and every half-baked batshirt thought that ricochets around in

  5. The Last Rites of Eternal Chaos with Trixie and Katya

    You are cordially invited to attend a most distinguished yet eminently fake wake in honor of Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova, the undisputed queens of chaos, podcasts, and mirth. We shall convene in a chapel that smells faintly of Re

  6. This One Goes Out to All the Buttholes with Trixie and Katya

    I am the ring that no laurels adorn, A puckered little star at the edge of the form. No medals are pinned to my tireless skin, Yet I toil and labor each day, all from within. Through tempests of spice and fast food you regret, The burdens t

  7. A Meditation on Fruit Cups and Resplendence with Trixie and Katya

    In the majestic kingdom of sleep where the heavens are transformed into a silken washhouse of torrential storms, the clouds are wrung dry by invisible hands while heinous blonde flamingos are carried off to a prison of unimaginable cruelty.

  8. The Bald and the Breakfast with Trixie and Katya

    Wake up and put on your nicest wiglet, Deborah! The sun is shining and it's time to head on down to The Bald & The Breakfast, Weho's newest morning hotspot where Trixie and Katya are slinging eggs, flipping griddles, and brioch-ing the eff

  9. A Freshly-Peeled Lease on Life with Trixie and Katya

    Dear Dr. Whiffenschtuppel, I write to you this day to express my deepest gratitude for changing my life. Long ago, I remember staring at my banana on the kitchen counter, bruised and drooping with despair; a perfect reflection of my life be

  10. From Hooves to Haute with Trixie and Katya

    This week's episode is presented by Hollywood's premier foot feminization service, "From Hooves to Haute." With our patented treatment derived from centuries of Icelandic foot worship, our clinicians will transform your neglected feet from

  11. 250 Episodes of Dolls Being Dolls with Trixie and Katya

    Our beloved listeners and wayward souls, we write to you from the glittery halls of memory, where two hundred and fifty episodes now flutter like sequined gowns on a brightly-lit stage of times past. Our hearts are heavy with laughter, satu

  12. The Silence of the Hooves with Trixie and Katya

    Dearest Katya. It is I, Silas P. Hoofman, the ghost of the antelope who currently hangs in a perpetual state of taxidermy above your bed. From my velveted perch upon this ignoble wall, I address you with a heart still pulsing with spectral

  13. The Twelfth Day After Christmas with Trixie and Katya

    ’Twas 12 days after Christmas, when we gathered in the valley, To record a podcast and reflect on our holiday glee. We had dashed through L.A., to a glittering A-List soirée, To eat pizza and sliders at Charlize Theron’s chalet. Trixie ran

  14. A Paranormal New Year's Eve with Trixie and Katya

    On a balmy Los Angeles New Year’s Eve, as the city chimed with hope and regret, the Podcast Ghost of 2025 came gliding through the lamplit air to visit Trixie and Katya, its countenance stitched of hours spent listening to the pod in the ne

  15. Daphne Guinness and the Anarchy of Creativity with Katya

    On a mild Los Angeles night as Christmas bells rang out into the darkness like gentle couture thunder, fashion model, curator, writer, musician, and actor, Daphne Guinness, descended into the velveteen ether of The Bald and the Beautiful po

  16. How to Use Double Entendres with Trixie and Katya

    Today, as our fingers gently brushed the record button and we engaged in a long and thorough microphone check, we adjusted the levels for several minutes, thus ensuring the room was warm and ready and inviting us to continue. We settled int

  17. Lushious Massacr's Plan for World Peace Through the Booty Hole with Trixie and Katya

    Official Statement from the esteemed Lushious H. Massacr IV, Esq.: In a moment unprecedented in the annals of human cooperation, the international drag community proudly proclaims the dawn of lasting global concord, achieved through the har

  18. The Cream Nation Sensation! with Trixie and Katya

    Get ready, America, because the new dance craze "Cream Nation" is sweeping the country faster than a soda fountain jerk slinging banana splits! From hip teenagers at the malt shop to squares cutting loose on the living room floor, everybody

  19. Kim Chi's Love Affair with Public Libraries with Trixie and Katya

    The dolls are joined by the prodigious patisserie of elegance and razor-sharp wit, the incomparable Kim Chi! Miss Chi who would like you know that public libraries stand as luminous beacons of civic generosity, offering complimentary tootsi

  20. Observational Cinematic Compulsion Disorder with Trixie and Katya

    Observational Cinematic Compulsion Disorder, or OCCD, is a common behavioral condition characterized by involuntary ocular fixation on a neighbor's in-flight audiovisual LCD display, even in the absence of accompanying auditory stimuli. Pat

  21. The Trixie Mattel Center for Turntable Excellence with Trixie and Katya

    Attention aspiring disc technicians! At Trixie’s Greater Milwaukee Center for Turntable Excellence, you’ll receive comprehensive instruction in cross-fader voltage modulation, cue-point bias alignment, and real-time pitch control using stat

  22. Your Fingers are Rivers of Intention with Trixie and Katya

    Do you dream of living a life of romance, success, and not being a social disgrace as you awkwardly tap at your keyboard like a Dickensian ghost? With 3 easy payments of $99.99, you can be the proud owner of the year's hottest CD-ROM from K

  23. Elvira's Planet of the Glamazonian Ghouls with Trixie

    In the twilight hush of a Burbank podcast studio, Trixie finds herself opposite the immortal Elvira, Mistress of the Dark: the legendary Cassandra Peterson! Upon the mist of their delightfully macabre conversation lays her infernal grimoire

  24. Let No Bannister Go Un-Cobwebbed with Trixie and Katya

    Friends, fans, and fellow seekers of the sublime; it is I, Trixie Mattel. Lend me your trembling hearts, for the hour of All Hallows' Eve draws nigh, and with it, my home shall rise from shadowed mediocrity into gothic immortality. Upon my

  25. Bosco and Goblin Drag Prerequisites with Katya

    In alignment with Bald, LLC's ongoing corporate initiative to foster dialogue in the fields of glamour, aesthetics, and brand synergy, SVP of Novelty T-Shirts Katya Zamolodchikova is pleased to engage in a high-level dialogue with esteemed

  26. Bob the Drag Queen Heralds the Birth of Katya's Pussycat with Katya

    Hear ye, dear listeners! Mark the annals of human history, for contained herein is a tale so resplendent, so epoch-defining, that even the stars themselves lean closer to listen. On this fateful day, the cosmos bore witness to the advent of

  27. Irene The Alien's Ephemeral Visit to the Terrestrial Realm with Katya

    Irene The Alien travels across the cold infinities of space for a brief descent to converse with the singular earthling amongst earthlings: Katya. They discuss, with the tranquil gravity of deep space, the paradox of her early ejection from

  28. Wigs, Weapons & Wisdom: A Three-Act Tête-à-Tête with Trixie and Katya

    In this impeccably-coiffed episode, Trixie and Katya luxuriate in the cultural gravitas of wigs: those mercurial crowns of artifice, seduction, and spectacle. Act Two detonates with an opulent, penetrating dissection of Weapons, that broodi

  29. RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Eps 11 to 14: "Le Finalé Débonnaire Extraordinaire" with Trixie and Katya

    In a candle-lit chamber filled with the velveted echoes of hazy remembrance, Trixie and Katya unveil the ultimate quadrilogy of reminiscence. Prepare thyselves for episodes 11 through 14 of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7; each memory a rare ge

  30. RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Eps 9 & 10: "Prancing, Poo, and Panache" with Trixie and Katya

    Latch your steamer trunk and press your travel slacks, as Trixie and Katya summon you for a grand tour through the jeweled harbors of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7, Episodes 9 and 10. Like discerning aesthetes adrift upon the sapphire sea, th

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