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Hosted by gay sex and relationship therapist and published author Tom Bruett, this show dives deep into what it really means to be in relationship with yourself and others as a gay, queer, or trans person today. Each episode features candid conversations with leading experts in psychology, sex therapy, wellness, culture, and LGBTQIA2S+ lived experience. Together, we explore the complexities of queer love, intimacy, identity, and connection - without shame, without scripts, and without pretending we have it all figured out. If you’re craving smarter, braver, more honest conversations about what it means to build and sustain authentic queer relationships, you’re in the right place.
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Why LGBTQ+ Solidarity Matters More Than Ever
In this solo episode, Tom explores the fear and political uncertainty facing the LGBTQ+ community, particularly gay men, amid growing attacks on transgender people and gender-affirming healthcare. Drawing on his experiences growing up gay a
What Polyamory Can Teach Us About Love | Interview with Ruffus, The PolyKink Therapist
In this episode, Tom sits down with Ruffus, The PolyKink Therapist, to explore what it means to build ethical relationships, whether monogamous, non-monogamous, or somewhere in between. Ruffus shares how his personal experiences with polyam
Why Sexual Pleasure Is a Radical Act of Resistance | Interview with Alex Garner
In this episode, Tom sits down with Alex Garner, Interim Executive Director of MPact, to talk about queer sexuality, HIV, sexual pleasure, and the fight for LGBTQ+ rights. Alex shares his experience living with HIV for over 30 years and his
The Hidden Ways We Escape Stress, Shame & Anxiety | Interview with David Olem
What if the way you cope with stress could change how you experience your life—even when you can’t change the situation itself? In this episode, psychotherapist and coach David Olem joins Tom to explore stress, coping, self-compassion, and
Addiction, Trauma & the Path to Recovery in the Queer Community | Interview with Araya Baker
What happens when substance use becomes a way of coping with trauma, loneliness, and the stress of being queer in a world that can still be deeply rejecting? Tom welcomes therapist, columnist, and social policy researcher Araya Baker back t
Are You Your Own Worst Critic? Self-Love for Gay Men | Interview with James Guay, LMFT
What does it actually take to move from self-hatred toward self-love? In this episode, Tom talks with James Guay, LMFT, about the lifelong process of building a healthier relationship with ourselves as gay men. James explores how internaliz
Gay Men, Tantra & the Power of Touch | Interview with DaddyGuru
In this episode, Tom sits down with DaddyGuru, to explore tantra, spirituality, erotic maturity, and healing for gay men. Drawing from his book, You Are the Love of Your Life, Daddy Guru shares how his own journey led him to tantric yoga an
Why We NEED Better Gay Sex Education | Interview with Aidan Wharton
In this episode, Tom sits down with writer and sex educator Aidan Wharton, creator of Gay Buffet, to talk about gay sex education, relationships, sexual pleasure, and queer joy. Aidan shares how his community-driven work grew from a newslet
Chronic Pain and LGBTQ+ Health: What We Need to Know | Interview with Ian A. Lane, PhD, RN
What happens when chronic pain intersects with queer identity, minority stress, and isolation? In this episode, Tom speaks with Ian A. Lane, PhD, RN, pain management specialist, nurse consultant, and author of Pain, Power, and Pride. Ian ex
Gay Shame, Loneliness & Finding Real Community | Interview with Brian Spitulnik
Why are so many gay men still struggling with loneliness, shame, and disconnection in 2026? In this conversation, Tom talks with therapist Brian Spitulnik about the lasting impact of growing up gay in a heterosexist world and why those expe
Sexual Bypassing: Are Your Labels Keeping You Stuck? | Interview with Dr Chris Donaghue
What happens when the identities and labels that once helped us understand ourselves begin to limit us? In this episode of the Queer Relationship Institute podcast, Tom welcomes psychotherapist, lecturer, author, and educator Dr Chris Donag
Why Great Therapy Includes Conversations About Sex | Interview with Martha Kauppi
What happens when therapists avoid talking about sex? According to Martha Kauppi (she/they), it often leaves clients feeling invisible, misunderstood, and carrying even more shame than when they arrived. In this conversation, Tom sits down
Why So Many Gay Men Struggle with Intimacy, Shame & Spirituality | Interview with Darren Main
What if the biggest obstacle to love isn't finding the right partner -- but the story you've been told about yourself? In this conversation, Tom Bruett (he/him) sits down with Darren Main (he/him), to explore how queer men can heal shame, c
Non-Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relationships Explained | Interview with Andrew Reidenbach
What does it actually take to build a healthy non-monogamous relationship? In this episode, Tom (he/him) welcomes Andrew Reidenbach (he/him), psychotherapist and Clinical Director of Midtown Mind Psychotherapy, for an honest conversation ab
Why You're Losing Erections (and how to FIX it) | Interview with Shay Doran
What happens when everything looks successful on the outside, but you're quietly struggling with performance anxiety, erection challenges, and shame? In this episode, Tom (he/him) sits down with coach Shay Doran (he/him) to explore one of t
The Truth About Prostate Health, ED & Masculinity | Interview with Dr. Arthur Burnett
How do you protect your prostate, recognize the early signs of erectile dysfunction, and separate medical facts from internet myths? In this episode, Tom (he/him) sits down with Dr. Arthur Burnett (he/him), renowned Johns Hopkins urologist,
When Sex Feels Out of Control, What’s Really Happening? | Interview with Michael A. Vigorito
What happens when we stop viewing sexuality through a lens of shame and start approaching it with curiosity, compassion, and context? In this episode, Tom Bruett (he/him) welcomes Michael A. Vigorito (he/him), LMFT, CGP, CST-S, sex therapis
Anxious Attachment: Why We Chase Love That Hurts & How to Heal | Interview with Chris Rackliffe
In this episode, Tom (he/him) welcomes Chris Rackliffe (he/him), anxious attachment style coach, author, and host of Needy No More podcast, for a deep conversation about attachment, relationships, and healing. Chris shares his own experienc
LGBTQ+ Aging, Sex & Desire: What Nobody Talks About | Interview with Joseph Winn
In this interview, Tom (he/him) interviews Joe Winn (he/him) LICSW, CST-S, about one of the most overlooked topics in LGBTQ+ mental health: aging, sexuality, and intimacy. Together, they explore how the HIV/AIDS crisis continues to shape th
What Queer People NEED to Know About HIV Today | Interview with Araya Baker
In this interview, Tom (he/him) interviews Araya (they/them), therapist, columnist, and social policy researcher about serodiscordant (mixed-status) relationships, HIV stigma, disclosure, intimacy, and the realities of living with HIV in 20
Why So Many Bi Men Stay Closeted | Interview with Robert Cohen
In this episode, Tom (he/him) interviews writer, comedian, coach, and Two Bi Guys host Robert Brooks Cohen (he/him) about bisexuality, late-life coming out, bi erasure, monogamy, shame, fluidity, and the hidden realities many bi men face. T
Kink, Shame & The Truth About “Sides” | Interview with Dr. Joe Kort
In this episode, psychotherapist and sexologist Dr. Joe Kort (he/him) joins Tom Bruett (he/him) for a candid conversation about queer sexuality, kink, shame, relationships, and identity. Dr. Joe Kort shares how his own experiences shaped hi
Why Intimacy Can Feel Impossible for Queer Men | Interview with Andrew Katsinas
In this episode, Tom Bruett (he/him) interviews Andrew Katsinas (he/him), a queer sex and trauma therapist, for a wide-ranging conversation about queer male sexuality, emotional intimacy, shame, spirituality, and the hidden ways many LGBTQ+
How Religious Trauma Shapes Queer Dating & Mental Health | Interview with Kit Morgan
In this episode, Tom Bruett (he/him) interviews Kit Morgan (he/they), a queer and trans religious trauma-informed educator, licensed clinical social worker, and therapist. Together, they explore how religious trauma continues to shape queer
What Nobody Tells You About Gay Dating with a Disability | Interview with Andrew Gurza
In this episode, Tom Bruett (he/him) interviews Andrew Gurza (they/he), an award-winning disability awareness consultant, author, and podcast host of Disability After Dark. What happens when desire, disability, and queer identity intersect?
Why the Mother-Son Relationship is Different for Gay Men | Interview with Rick Miller
In this episode, Tom Bruett (he/him) interviews Rick Miller (he/him), a pioneering psychotherapist, author and film maker with over 40 years of experience working with gay men and couples. They explore why the relationship between gay sons
What If Nobody Is Actually Straight? (A Therapist Explains) | interview with Paula D. Atkinson
In this interview, Tom Bruett(he/him) interviews Paula D. Atkinson (she/her), a queer, liberation-focused psychotherapist based in Palm Springs. They discuss Paula's journey to claiming her queer identity later in life, the gatekeeping she
Bisexuality, Masculinity and Thriving as a Queer Middle Eastern Man - interview David F Khalili
In this conversation, Tom Bruett interviews David F Khalili (he/him), a queer licensed marriage and family therapist and board certified sexologist based in San Francisco and founder of Rouse Relational Wellness. They discuss David's missio
Surviving the AIDS Crisis & Healing Through Art - an interview with Mickie Kennedy
In this conversation, Tom Bruett interviews Mickie Kennedy(he/him), a gay poet whose work reflects on his experiences living through the AIDS crisis and the complexities of intimacy and relationships. They discuss the emotional journey of w
ADHD and Autism in Gay Relationships - interview with Dr. Miguel Toribio-Mateas
In this conversation, Dr. Miguel Toribo-Mateus(he/they) shares his personal journey with ADHD and autism, discussing the importance of diagnosis and medication. He explores the intricate relationship between nutrition, gut health, and neuro
