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What’s your favorite scary movie? Are you a fanatic or a fraidy-cat? Either way, we’ve got you covered. Each week, horror fan Paige will take Horror Virgin Todd through the encyclopedia of horror one movie at a time. We’ll discuss classics as well as fan favorites, with the occasional new release thrown in for good measure. Mikey will make inappropriate jokes and Todd will scream like a little girl at every jump scare. It’s hilarious. Prepare yourself for spoilers, tangents, and lots of irreverent fun. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at @HorrorVirgin
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455 - Halloween H20
“I don't know what's scarier. Josh Hartnett's hair or Michelle Williams' '90s eyebrows.” This week’s scariest movie is... Halloween H20: 20 Years Later. This film has everything: masked library research, guard-shack smut, and a school couns
454 - Ready or Not 2: Here I Come
“I'm sorry you have to see me naked. Stop trying to kill me and I'll clothe myself. But this is on you.” This week’s scariest movie is... Ready or Not 2: Here I Come. This film has everything: grassy-knoll hide-and-seek, vascular syringe se
453 - Psycho 2
"You're honor, in Yahweh versus Rome." This week’s scariest movie is... Psycho 2. This film has everything: municipal nuclear arsenals, O.J. Simpson crowd-work hazards, And upper-pectoral boob mechanics. If you love bleeding-wall en suites,
452 - Critters 2
“Shut the fuck up and dress like an Easter bunny.” This week’s scariest movie is... Critters 2. This film has everything: reptile piercings at Claire's, Soviet critter espionage, And Mickey Mouse kink protocols. If you love Grandma's interg
451 - Phantasm IV: Oblivion
“Every place I have sex automatically becomes historical.” This week’s scariest movie is... Phantasm IV: Oblivion (With Mikey Randolph). This film has everything: hybrid Beast dick taxonomy, brown-note embalming science, And bar-certified s
450 - Scooby Doo on Zombie Island
“I can't wait for you to read the Google AI summary about the Beast's dick.” This week’s scariest movie is... Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island. This film has everything: TSA charcuterie seizures, Latin-speaking exorcist Scooby, And cat-clock moo
449 - IT Part 2 (1990)
“If you don't snap out of this, I will kill us both.” This week’s scariest movie is... IT Part Two. This film has everything: infomercial-grade bicycle cards, dead-light spider abs, And face-massage intimacy audits. If you love Cocoon-to-Ca
448 - IT Part 1 (1990)
“We're living at the end of an empire, and we're just going to have to get through it. And thank God A24 is here to help.” This week’s scariest movie is... It Part One. This film has everything: trademarked clown faces, forehead-stabbing gr
447 - The Monster Squad
“Dracula is the Ted Kaczynski of this movie. I'm sick of not saying it.” This week’s scariest movie is... The Monster Squad. This film has everything: vampire-based church outreach, Frenchie-wolf breathing problems, And copyright-compliant
446 - Ghostwatch
“The problem is, there are too many pussies in the glory hole.” This week’s scariest movie is... Ghost Watch. This film has everything: manosphere bedroom logic, haunted throats, And infallible police witnesses. If you love cat-insulated co
445 - One cut of the Dead
“This should be a PSA for make weird shit with your friends.” This week’s scariest movie is... One Cut of the Dead. This film has everything: emergency houseplant compost, slap-induced awakenings, And Kubrick-level lunar commitment. If you
444 - Creep 2
“Murderers can't be choosers.” This week's scariest movie is... Creep 2. This film has everything: erotic wolf cosplay, one-legged worm shaking, And trolley-problem morality. If you love serial-killer fridge art, wrong-face lockets, and nin
443 - Lake Mungo
“Ma'am, what do you think your daughter looked like?” This week’s scariest movie is... Lake Mungo. This film has everything: paranormal water features, quarterly backyard photo reviews, And the world’s most committed dam enthusiast. If you
442 - Companion
“That’s the reason Jack Quaid named his Goo Goo doll Iris.” This week’s scariest movie is... Companion. This film has everything: robot breakups, Toaster Targeted victory speeches, And an LLM that can give you hand jibbers. If you love elec
441 - Backrooms
“Too much labyrinth, not enough Bowie.” This week’s scariest movie is... Backrooms. This film has everything: Lightning Plumbers, Sappy Blood, and your uncle’s worst vacation shirt. If you love IKEA survival plans, out-of-network pirates, a
440 - Obsession
“It’s kind of like an incel found a monkey’s paw.” This week’s scariest movie is... Obsession. This film has everything: Cinderblock cockblocking, post-traumatic stress dinners, And white-picket-fence lives built on questionably enchanted c
439 - Hell House LLC 2
“It’s clearly haunted. You dodged a bullet. Don’t chase that bullet down.” This week’s scariest movie is... Hell House LLC II: The Abaddon Hotel. This film has everything: hotel-fucking ghost hunters, rocket-scientist sex magic, And selecti
438 - Independence Day
“Alien King George can go fuck yourself.” This week's scariest movie is... Independence Day. This film has everything: Fruitopia Breakthroughs, Dolphin Wives, And a movie so good there is No Way it's a Michael Bay Film. If you love 90s smok
437 - Mars Attacks!
“We are not going to win against people who smoke nukes.” This week's scariest movie is... Mars Attacks! This film has everything: aggressive Martian accents, capitalist bike baskets, And cape-couture command structures. If you love failed
436 - Apollo 18
“Rocks are only hard if you're touching them.” This week's scariest movie is... Apollo 18. This film has everything: B-52 moon crabs, "landliens", And Lennart Ruth’s space steakhouse. If you love Party City strobe lights, moon-cavern Nazis,
435 - Life
“This is 40 minutes of story in a two hour bag.” This week’s scariest movie is... Life. This film has everything: terribly timed funerals, aliens in trucker hats, And a starfish Borg. If you love space claw machines, Goodnight Moon emergenc
434 - No One Will Save You
“Have you heard the good news about Space Pope?" This week’s scariest movie is... No One Will Save You. This film has everything: nine-hat endings, tall gray nerds, And Raccoon and Fat Squirrel chaos. If you love memory noodles, miniature-t
433 - Alien: Resurrection
"This sets up that the alien universe has a space Pope." The Horror Virgin: This week's scariest movie is... Alien Resurrection. This film has everything: space’s least safe weapons program. Vengeful raccoon xenomorphs. And lava being asked
432 - Mother!
“Worst Danzig biopic ever.” This week’s scariest movie is... Mother! This film has everything: Another, another testament of Jesus Christ, Monkey Ghosts, And an anti-Jesus TED Talk. If you love Sunday School pamphlet subtlety, Sherwin-Willi
431 - Constantine
"Battlefield Earth for Christians.” This week’s scariest movie is... Constantine. This film has everything: the would-be Nick Fury of the Christian Expanded Universe, John Constantine the Baptist, And your parents’ smug satisfaction. If you
430 - Exhuma
“Did you just read me a recipe for snake oil?” This week's scariest movie is... Exhuma. This film has everything: three foxes in a trench coat, Pavlov’s chicken, And a demon so powerful even an atheist won’t open the coffin. If you love sal
429 - Saint Maud
“She’s got those like, have you heard the good news eyes.” This week’s scariest movie is... Saint Maud. This film has everything: Maudie Sue vibes, red-bottom Skechers, And blood-atonement déjà vu. If you love Welsh roach gods, Coney Island
428 - Anaconda
“He's going to treat you like a chalice.” This week's scariest movie is... Anaconda. This film has everything: Gingery Anna Jones, Serious Scooby Doo villains, And perfectly wrong movie decisions. If you love eagle-screaming snakes, monkey-
427 - Primate
“There are two chimps inside me.” This week's scariest movie is... Primate. This film has everything: Mongoose Betrayals, capital-P prison sentences, And hero-chimp eulogies. If you love botched primate Googles, full-Congo speech pads, and
426 - Tremors 2: Aftershocks
“I am ashamed of me being a person.” This week's scariest movie is... Tremors 2: Aftershocks. This film has everything: Precambrian nonsense, payroll-hole disappearances, And pre-dot-com theme-park scams. If you love Hot Topic hyenas, cheer
